Spike Jonze recorded this video at an event to bring arts back into schools (a worthy cause, to be sure). It’s a collaboration between Yo-Yo Ma and LA dancer Lil Buck.
Incidentally, I have loved Yo-Yo Ma for twenty years, but now I can’t NOT hear “Yo-Yo Ma and Ghostface Killer to the stage for Muffin Top!” whenever I see his name. 30 Rock-itis, I reckon.
Sooooooo… what has everyone been up to?
I don’t care, let’s talk about me —
Let’s see, I found out my tumor grew; I’m pre-diabetic; I’m (according to my endocrinologist) a little bit pregnant (meaning my prolactin levels are elevated and twice what they were the last time I was checked; high prolactin level means, essentially, that my body thinks it is stuck in the first trimester of pregnancy); and I have thyroid issues. Meanwhile, I got laid off for “economic reasons” (and won’t say anything more about it until I’ve negotiated my severance).
One might think that life is trying to make me eat a giant Shit Sandwich, but I like to think of it as life trying to make me eat a Destiny Donut. I’ve decided that I am going to retire from the law and focus on writing. Over the course of my last two jobs my tumor has grown two millimeters, and I’m fairly certain continuing to practice law would eventually kill me. Besides, I’ve always wanted to proclaim majestically that I am retiring from something; like gymnasts when they turn 16. So that’s what I am doing. I hath retired! And a week before my ten-year reunion, too.
I’m going to live a calmer gentler life — hence the “ABL” change; ABL sounds more pleasant and friendly, while still suggesting a rage bubbling just beneath the surface of whisky and high blood sugar. So, much to the delight of some and the chagrin of others, I’m back, bitches!
I think this will be fun. At least for me. I get to explore new and interesting ways to incorporate hyphens, em dashes, and semi-colons into my posts while living off my nest egg and haunting your dreams.
cathyx
You should definitely concentrate on writing. You have a very good and likable style and it would appeal to many people.
RossInDetroit
ABL FTW. I’ll read you any day.
EvolutionaryDesign
Glad you are back. I usually lurk your posts, but am always happy after I read you. I’m sorry life is in screw mode for you at the moment(s). I hope the community here, amongst other things, can send you some good juju waves. I know I’ll be sending them, FWIW.
Happy day to you.
moe99
Yeah, my tumors grew too. Any more and I am kicked off the clinical trial. Good luck to you.
Comrade DougJ
Glad you’re back too!
Just Some Fuckhead
I propose ABL stand for A Beautiful Life.
Comrade Mary
Aw, man, that’s a whack of life changes right there. But maybe that shit in the sandwich is just waiting for you to turn it into compost and okletsdropthatmetaphor. Yeah, much better to call it a doughnut.
I’m glad you’re back! Let the teeth gnashing commence (and enrich a thousand dentists!)
Karen
{{ABL}}
That’s a positive attitude to have.
Can I steal your term, “Destiny Donut?”
BGinCHI
@efgoldman: These are many of the same people who are worried about Sharia law.
I'mNotSureWhoIWantToBeYet
Hi ‘gry :-),
It sounds like a wonderful plan. You do have a great gift from the writing gods. Best of luck and do keep posting!
Cheers,
Scott.
Warren Terra
I’m sorry to hear about your problems. When I heard about your hiatus, I hoped it wasn’t because of the sometimes unkind reception you received here, but under the circumstances I wish the reason had been as inconsequential as that.
Studly Pantload
Em dashes totes rawk. Semicolons, too. Both terribly misunderstood.
Happy Zombie Jesus Day. And all the best in the negotiations, ABL.
BOSS BITCH
Yes! how did you know I was looking for this video today? I saw it before and didn’t bookmark it. Now I’m going to send it to my sis.
thanks.
Lysana
Thank goodness you’re back, ABL. So glad to see you around. The place was a lot more boring.
Dead Ernest
Oh Dear Heart;
That is more than a lot to deal with.
I haven’t read your stuff for long, a few months now. But long enough to think of you as a fellow traveler; smart, engaged, smart enough to know you’re notsosmart, engaged to the degree that allows one to, on occasion, reflect “perhaps not my best moment but I don’t exactly take it back”.
I like you. While we are hardly identical, you make the world seem a wee bit less lonely.
I wonder if I might not be of some small help. I’m thinking the link at the top of the page will send email to you? I’ve never used those. If it doesn’t… I guess I’ll find that out and come back here to see how we might talk.
Best Wishes,
D.E.
Gina
Glad you’re back here, and glad you’ll be writing more, but seriously bummed about the Destiny Donut ingredients you’re dealing with right now.
BOSS BITCH
Also, I’m sure things will get better for you.
Dead Ernest
by the way, good idea. I am going to start telling people that I retired from gymnastics when I was 15.
As a ‘Taft around the edges’ guy, and age 15 during the Reagan years I think I can get away with it.
Citizen_X
Lovely video there. Thx.
Good luck with all that stuff on your plate. Cheers to your “retirement” (now you can make lawyer jokes with the rest of us)! Boo hiss to Mr. Tumor!
Emma
I think you’re one of the bravest people I know. I would probably be gibbering in the corner by now if I were faced with everything you face. Please write. We’ll read.
General Stuck
LOL, Never worked for me around here. But as the song goes, take what you need, and leave the rest
And may the FSM help to keep your powder dry, or something along those lines. :)
PurpleGirl
1) Thanks for the interesting video. Yo-Yo Ma has done some very good innovative things the last few years — extending his range of work.
2) Sorry to hear about the various things happening to you. I hope that the health matters work out better for you.
3) Hope that writing works professionally works for you, too. I like your attitude about changing focus.
4) Glad to see you posting here again.
wmd
I wish you a tasty destiny donut.
ruemara
Welcome back! and congrats on the life change! May your tumor be smaller and your bosoms always firm, amen.
ABL
Thanks all! I’m looking into new surgical procedures although I am stupidly concerned that Tumer Willis (I named it) gives me my special brand of ranty crazy. I’m hoping the new meds will make it such that I don’t need to have a surgeon go rooting around in my nose or ears to remove it.
In either event, I shall soldier and rant on!
Destiny Donuts for everyone!
Violet
Very sorry to hear about your health changes, but hope that less stress will help your health come back into balance.
You write really well. I think you’ve already got an audience.
pragmatism
You ever consider consulting or going in house, etc ABL?
Loneoak
The Angry Black Lady is dead! Long live ABL!
The tumor may have given you anger, but you provided the ineffable style. Good riddance to Willis.
piratedan
something to shake your ass to…..
http://www.mtv.com/videos/little-village/58671/she-runs-hot.jhtml#artist=11338
ABL
Oh, and it should be noted that when I told Cole about my sudden unemployment, he attempted to pawn Rosie off on me, and offered to pay for her food for 5 years.
Tsk tsk, Mr. Cole.
ABL
@pragmatism: I have, but in house and consulting jobs are hard to come by and I’m not really one for 9 to 5 type jobs, I’ve decided.
@ruemara: amen, indeed.
Temporarily Max McGee (soon enough to be Andy K again)
@ABL:
I know you’ve used it recently- at least at your own blog- but GODDAM! you should have embedded this!
RossInDetroit
Awesome Blog Lady, if I was a praying type I’d talk to God on your behalf daily. As it is you’ll have my warm thoughts, best hopes and full attention.
pragmatism
@ABL: stick with your instinct. I went from litigating to in house and found a nice balance by working from home as much as possible but you’re right, hard to find. Wish you the best.
pragmatism
@ABL: stick with your instinct. I went from litigating to in house and found a nice balance by working from home as much as possible but you’re right, hard to find. Wish you the best.
Phoebe
I fully endorse this use of your nest egg!
Thanks!
Selfish White Lady
IP Strategist
There is life after law. Got fired 3+ years ago, and haven’t looked back. License plate is “Unlawyr”. Best of luck, ABL.
jeff
I’m sorry to hear what a lot of crap you’re faced with! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here again.
Svensker
@efgoldman:
Easter is a mandated holiday in the Godless Socialist Paradise of Canukistan. Even the supermarkets are closed. They don’t believe in capitalism, the fuggers! (But I scored some awesome handmade cheese and bacon at the farmers market yesterday, so we’s all stocked up and don’t care.)
Measles Montgomery
ABL, I am glad you are back posting here. Dunk that Destiny Donut in a nice hot cuppa cawfee! Wishing you the best.
Svensker
Oh, crap. I said SOCKALIST. Moderation hell. Serves me right.
ABL — so sorry to hear about all your challenges and nasty stuff. Big hugs to ya and much admiration of your upward-tilted chin. Looking forward to good reading, too.
gnomedad
@Warren Terra:
What he said. Sorry to hear of your “challenges”, ABL.
pragmatism
Fywp double post
gnomedad
@BGinCHI:
Word. Projection explains a lot about these folks, I think. And I’d still like to sell Sharia law insurance. ABL, you’re welcome to steal the idea if you’d like to take a shot a grifting. :)
eemom
I haz a big fat jealous that you are retiring from the practice of law to focus on writing, which I would love to do if I were not an old woman with a mortgage and 2 kids.
But you are indeed a gifted writer. And that is not something I say lightly.
beergoggles
WB ABL!
One of my best friends has a tumor in his head too. It elevated his prolactin levels and he started lactating. Fast forward 10 years later, he’s still around, the tumor is somewhat under control – no more lactation but he does require hormonal injections every couple of weeks and he is suffering from short term memory loss and complications from unrelated medical issues. Thankfully he takes the teasing well because there’s just no way to deal with this seriously. Get started on your writing and please make sure it’s available on the kindle.
licensed to kill time
Jeez, your Destiny Donut could’ve done without the tumor sprinkles. I wish you great stamina, hope and courage in dealing with the crumbs as you make your way through this particular phase in your life.
ABL could stand for A Brave Lady. Carry on.
Cermet
Hello and I am very sorry for the continued tumor growth – remember, vitamin D has been show to help arrest cancers so taking 2000 to 10000 IU is not only safe but can aid you. Another thing, don’t take multi-vitamins – they can do harm. Take the items you need, not a shotgun approch. For sugar levels, bitter melon is very useful and is ultra safe (its a common food.)
Starfish
Did you see that article in the NYT the other week about quitting sugar so you don’t get diabetes? It seemed extreme, but I vaguely know of people who are trying to do it. As for me, I am having a hard time giving up eggs. Today, I realized that the cookie that I was eating contained eggs, and I ate it anyway.
WyldPirate
ABL, sorry to hear about the challenges that have stumbled into your path through life. Sounds like you have a positive ‘tude about things and that’s a great place to start and stay when dealing with BS.
As a person who had a “pre-diabetes’ warning, ignored it then got the real thing, let me take a moment to URGE you to do your best to stay in the “pre” stage of this disease. You can most likely do this and I hope you can. It doesn’t get easier once your old pancreas gives up the ghost and you have to jack insulin into your body at every meal and more.
Good luck!
hamletta
Whatever you choose to do, I hope it makes you more weller.
I love this video, because I am familiar with Yo-Yo Ma’s love for the good ol’ “Dona Nobis.”
It’s our fallback Call To Worship.
All the songs have been written. All the stories have been written.
Except they haven’t.
We have more songs to sing; we have more stories to tell. Because we fuck up so gloriously. God bless every one.
Loneoak
OT, but this is an open thread amiright: Go see Super! if it is showing near you. Fucking hilarious, gore-comedy, inspired loosely by William James’ Varieties of Religious Experience, and darkly morally complex in an interesting way. Kind of like Shaun of the Dead + Scott Pilgrim + Sophie’s Choice + Fear and Loathing. One of my new favorites, but it’s had a sadly small footprint. It will be a cult classic some day, for sure.
sukabi
hugs, kisses and best wishes ABL… :-)
FlipYrWhig
Fuuuuck. ABL, damn. Hang in.
stuckinred
Hang tough and tune in Treme tonight!
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@ABL: I have a retired (age 35) lawyer friend who lives in Portland OR. She owns/operates a rock club there and she’s never been happier. I hope retirement treats you as well.
JCT
Nice to see you back, ABL.
And that’s the way to do it — TAKE CONTROL. It’s your life, your health, your trajectory. Eyes forward.
Keep up with your docs and if you’re not happy with them, get new ones.
SBJules
@Lysana:
Oh yes, I agree. Love that you’re back ABL, and I vote for it standing for A Beautiful Life. You deserve one.
Cathy W
….I am in awe of the dancer in that video; I would have said it was not physically possible for the human body to make some of those movements…and that’s on top of the awesome that is Yo-Yo Ma. Thank you for sharing it.
ABL
@beergoggles: Gah! That’s one symptom I don’t have and really don’t want to despite the new breast milk ice cream fad in Europe. Must be doubly gah! for a man. Good for him for being good-natured about it.
WereBear
Damn it, I’m sorry.
But nice perspective work on the Destiny Donut… keep it up.
Dr. Bernstein’s approach does wonders for diabetes
Sounds like you are getting a lot of SIGNS from the Universe lately. But it’s also an indication that it loves us and cares about us.
beergoggles
@ABL: Hah Gotta remember the breastmilk fad in europe for some good laughs the next time I run into him.
mclaren
You done been beaten down, girl. You have fallen for the scam that “angry” and “black” do not belong in the same sentence together.
Fuck that. “Angry Black Lady” sounded just fine to me.
You’re still the best writer on Balloon-Juice, though, so it doesn’t make any difference.
Deeply Unserious
ABL
I’ve always enjoyed your writing. Best wishes for everything.
Rich
Best to you, ABL. Nothing like retiring from the law. Took me too long to figure that out, but I finally did. Much to the benefit of my psyche. Hope your medical issues resolve themselves in a positive way, too. I’ll look forward to your continued postings.
hilts
David Brooks sinks to a disgusting new low
h/t http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42703787/ns/meet_the_press-transcripts/
Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason
Congratulations on your retirement! I retired at 25 (for a year), tried writing, gave it up, and went back to work. Quit to finish a Master’s. Got another job, it wasn’t my thing, looked around, and finally ended up in my current career at the age of 40.
Some of us aren’t meant to finish up the way we started. Here’s to a good journey for you.
Michele
ABL – so sorry to hear of your challenges, but I appreciate your determination and your willingness to share more with us. I look forward to your writing.
What a fantastic collaboration with Yo-Yo Ma and Lil Buck! Every time I hear Yo-Yo Ma, I think of the fantastic West Wing episode that featured him performing at a holiday concert – the music set off Josh’s PTSD. The Bach in G Major, and the acoustics in the performance hall were just beautiful.
R-Jud
@moe99:
Christ Almighty, Moe– good luck to YOU. A friend of ours was diagnosed in late February and then admitted to a Tarceva trial last month. She isn’t enjoying the rash, but her second scan last week showed 90% less cancer than the baseline. Apparently she is the right kind of mutant.
I hope something works for you soon.
Anya
Glad you’re back, ABL. I am sorry about your health issues and the other thing. I look forward to your writing and even buy it, if you decide to write a book about your journey to “destiny donut”.
I am sending your way positive energy and my best wishes for a good outcome.
megamahan
I’m sorry about the bad news about your health and job, but I’m glad you’re back. Best of luck in your retirement!
Sarah Proud and Tall
My very best wishes, dear. I’ve retired from about seven different careers over the years and it’s always been the right decision.
TaMara (BHF)
@Just Some Fuckhead:I always knew you were a romantic.
ABL – sounds like you are listening to the spiritual 2×4 to the head. I highly recommend doing that, because I assure you, from experience, if you don’t they’ll just hit you again. xo
FlipYrWhig
@hilts: What the fucking fuck? Donald Trump started out rich and got richer, punctuated by periodic bouts of bankruptcy and scandal.
Felanius Kootea (formerly Salt and freshly ground black people)
ABL, thanks for that video – amazing.
Sorry to hear about the job and tumor but i know you’ll come out on top.
Good luck with the writing – you’re talented, so finding the time to do it is the main thing. I’ve been working on a book for five years (gah!) and have always blamed my job for not having the time to finish it (I wrote the most during a five month period between jobs and have never regained that level of productivity with my writing).
JAHILL10
ABL, thank you for sharing the video. It is gorgeous. I have already stolen it for fb.
I hope that your health issues are brief and painless. Good health soon. Hope those severance negotiations go well!
Best of luck with the writing. You have talent and a definite voice. Use it!
veralynn
Destiny Donuts rock. :)
urbanmeemaw
@Warren Terra: I agree with you, Warren. And, ABL, I’m glad you’re back and send you good mojo. All of those physical problems must be very hard to deal with, but, as you so wisely said, our bodies send us messages about changes we might need to make emotionally, mentally and occupationally. I love your rants (my own motto is, “I Rant, Therefore I Am”). Like Warren, I am relieved that you didn’t feel compelled to retreat. That is all.
pkdz
My husband has a brain tumor that secretes prolactin. The tumor was found before he started lactating or growing breast tissue. Smile. Poor guy probably had it for 10 years without realizing it. He started getting terrible headaches, which is what brought him to the doctor. ABL, good luck to you.
Gustopher
ABL, best of luck getting through that Destiny Donut. My pulmonary embolism sends its best wishes to your tumor.
Glad to have you back, although we may need to see your birth certificate before we can really accept you. The long form one. No, longer than that.
Cain
@Starfish:
I’m thinking of doing something along those lines, slowly withdrawing myself from sugar as I get older. It’s bloody hard. I’m going to cut back on sugar, and drink a lot more water. The water seems easier except for going to the bathroom a lot.. but sugar.. bleah. Cutting back fruit juices is especially hard. :/
@ABL – hey girl, glad to see you back here. I didn’t know about the hiatus.. in any case, I’m sorry to hear of all your medical troubles.. you’re much too young to have all those problems. Do write though.. hope you’ll find a different field to do your lawyering though.. if anything so you can get insurance.. and on that note..
I really wish we had single payer.. get the burden off of us, off of companies, etc.. it’ll make the american worker cheaper..
Cain
@Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel):
Iknow some ex tech workers who started a coffee shop that is very successful. .they just opened their second coffee shop.. it’s one of the handful of groovy coffee shops on the west suburbs in a sea of starbucks.
jo6pac
Good for you do something you like while young enough, what a concept.
gwangung
Ah, ABL, sorry to hear about your vicissitudes, but glad to hear of your reaction it.
Somehow, Cole’s reaction seems quite…appropriate.
lllphd
hey, sorry – only sorta – for the layoff, but destiny donuts await!
honestly, been on the edge for a couple of years myself, and it gives an interesting view of what counts for gravity.
uncertainty is the best teacher! you’ll just blow the roof off whatever you focus that laser wit on, dearst.
gawd luvya!
Luci
Oh ABL! I am SO sorry to hear about the tumor growing! I am sorry to hear about your job too, and I will keep you in my thoughts and hope for better things for you. I’m glad you are back posting here, as I look forward to your writing and I can hardly think of a time I’ve not agreed with you. Love and hugs! Luci
virag
hey, abl, change is good; health is good, too! ya got one, gettin’ the other.
TooManyJens
@hilts:
In a sane world, Brooks would have evaporated in a puff of pure shame after uttering that.
Ecks
Allow me to offer more useless random-person-on-the-intertubes sympathy for the big dump of fertilizer that life is trying to bless you with, and here is looking forward to the many beautiful flowers you will be growing in it. You are indeed a deeply talented writer :)
ABL
@Ecks: it’s not useless and all of these comments have boosted my spirits. thank you. :)
ABL
@Ecks: it’s not useless and all of these comments have boosted my spirits. thank you. :)
Alison
I’m sorry to hear about the crummy stuff, but happy to hear about the new paths and the positive outlook – sounds like you’re making the right choices for where you are right now, and I wish you nothing but better days :)
Ruckus
Haven’t retired. Yet. But I am on my third career as that’s the way life has pushed/pulled me. It sure isn’t the direction I started in but no one has taken away my breathing permit yet so good times.
Hope that the new direction works for you, it sure seems like you have the talent for it.
Keep kicking life in the nads, I think that’s what it’s there for.
eemom
also too, if you ever get tired of saying you’re retired from the practice of law……another cool phrase that I’ve heard bandied about is “recovering lawyer”.
[wistful sigh]
Tom Fitz
all the best, ABL: you’re dealing with more than I have, but just on one facet, since I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes, I’ve been on some very long mountain bike rides. And that pales in comparison to what my sis-in-law and the guy in the link have done. Go get’em!
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-dwyre-20110416,0,4468818.column
moe99
@R-Jud:
Thanks RJud.
blackfrancis
Welcome back. I missed your posts, rarely comment though. Everyone already says what I would anyway, and better as well. I just wanted to pipe in and add to the chorus of those who appreciate your writing.
(I did pop in over at the other place, but I check in here daily. It’s easier to see you here.)
asiangrrlMN
Welcome back, girlfriend. It’s good to see you posting on the BJ front page once again. Your talent does not come from Tumer Willis, so he can fuck off and die.
@moe99: Fuck. That sucks. Massive positive vibes that your tumors will shrink and fuck off as well.
SRW1
Admire your attitude. Destiny Donut-wise and otherwise.
I am sure there are some hyphens, em dashes, and semi-colons eagerly awaiting to be taken for a ride by you.
Marmot
ABL, I’ve disagreed with your points of view and your approach, but I’m very saddened to hear about the crap life’s recently dealt you. I wish you nothing but success and happiness. And if you’re concentrating on writing, then great! Everyone always needs to improve, and every bit of effort toward that end will show.
maeby
You’re back!
YAYYYY!
You were missed.
fitzwili
@ABL
Did you like taking the LSATS? Some people have a knack for taking tests, and quite often you can translate that knack into being a LSAT tutor, which is not a bad way to supplement your income as a writer and it is not as stressful as practicing law.
There have been some studies done which seems to suggest cinnamon as a way to prevent blood sugar spikes, I take cinnamon pills and my blood sugar levels to seem to have settled down to where I don’t think I am in the danger zone any more for pre-diabetes.
ABL
@eemom: ha! that’s exactly what i put on my twitter profile! didn’t know it was so prevalent, although i’m not surprised.
@fitzwili: i sort of did like taking the LSATs. i hadn’t thought of that. and thanks for the cinnamon pills tip. i’ll look into that. i don’t think eating cookies is the right way to proceed.