Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Sadly, there is no cure for stupid.

The cruelty is the point; the law be damned.

If you tweet it in all caps, that makes it true!

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

Fuck if i know. i just get yelled at when i try it.

I did not have this on my fuck 2020 bingo card.

This is how realignments happen…

Everybody saw this coming.

Our job is not to persuade republicans but to defeat them.

I don’t care how fun he is after a few whiskies. fuck that guy.

Too inconsequential to be sued

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Naturally gregarious and alpha

The willow is too close to the house.

They are all Michael Cohen now.

Whoever he was, that guy was nuts.

Wow, you are pre-disappointed. How surprising.

… makes me wish i had hoarded more linguine

A sufficient plurality of insane, greedy people can tank any democratic system ever devised, apparently.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Make the republican party small enough to drown in a bathtub.

Let’s delete this post and never speak of this again.

It’s always darkest before the other shoe drops.

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Reader Interactions

60Comments

  2. 2.

    JPL

    Hmmm… Tunch appears to be a few pounds larger. Are the dogs accounted for? Enjoy your supper.

  4. 4.

    Hannity Hussein

    When your cats ass is bigger then yours you’ve got one fat cat.

  5. 5.

    Josie

    I hope he scores some meat juice, at least. My three pooches had some with their kibble tonight and are all smiling. The pug is wandering in circles in the kitchen checking over and over to see if I spilled any. Hope springs eternal.

  8. 8.

    Bill Murray

    I don’t think John even considered replying when Tunch asked “Does this fur make me look fat?”

    probably a very smart move

  10. 10.

    geg6

    Damn, that’s a fat cat. Having a similar problem with the dogs and the duck that is just resting from it’s roast temp. Duck with wild rice, roasted carrots and fresh-from-the-garden asparagus, a Reisling, and a Pinot noir. Topped off with carrot cake. My reward for packing my whole apartment this week. Love my life.

  14. 14.

    TaMara (BHF)

    You know if you google Turkish Van, all those cats look Tunch sized. Now quit picking on the Tunch-man before he kicks your ass (and as you can see, he’s probably big enough to do it).

    Have fun tonite, JC

  16. 16.

    Jim, Once

    Ohh, sweet Tunchie. This so makes me wish I had my big boy Grayg here to fondly abuse. Gone seven years now, and my most unforgettable furry companion.

  20. 20.

    Svensker

    Maybe, since you and Tunchie seem to have an avoirdupois problem, you should start chasing him around the house. Or you could hold a pork chop and he could chase you. Do you both good.

  21. 21.

    aimai

    My mother called me at 4:30 and asked, plaintively, if I could bring her dinner at five? Because she’s sick and my father is out of town. She wanted apple pie, too. I made an apple pie (frozen puff pastry, sliced apples, carmel underneath the apples) and a quick polenta and the world’s fastest chicken in a wine sauce, brought it over, cleaned her kitchen, fed her, and was back home by 6:38 to make our dinner of grilled lamb chops with a turkish spice rub, the leftover polenta, roasted red peppers, asparagus, and sauteed spinach and pea tendrils. We are now having our own apple tart (I made two simultaneously and took one over to my mother) while watching The Long Kiss Goodnight with Geena Davis and Samuel Jackson. Plus, bottle of some damned red wine. Life is good.

    aimai

  25. 25.

    amorphous

    I hope the two of you don’t drown in your own testosterone on such a manly night. What would 1991 John Cole say about 2011 John Cole if he could read this post? (Answer: “What the fuck is a ‘post’ and when did I start supporting the Democrats?”)

  27. 27.

    gbear

    @aimai:

    My mother called me at 4:30 and asked, plaintively, if I could bring her dinner at five?

    Are we allowed to tell our mothers to go to hell?

  31. 31.

    Rommie

    I think the real question is if Tunch is standing or sitting on his hind legs in that picture.

  32. 32.

    FlipYrWhig

    I have a white cat who looks just like Tunch, of comparable girth, only with a black spot on his head that looks like a toupee, and a black tail.

  34. 34.

    jrg

    Holy crap. It looks like someone taped an alpaca rug to a pilates ball and balanced it on two toothpicks.

    Don’t you worry about neighborhood kids disappearing?

  35. 35.

    Gordon, The Big Express Engine

    You need to do someting about Tunch’s weight. you are heading for a diabetic cat. Our best cat (Wilkie – a big orange tabby), just had to be put to sleep because of kidney failure. He was 8 and not overweight. Hard to figure out exactly what happened. He was really his normal self until about 10 days ago and he went downhill fast. He is survied by Carmen (11), Tiki (white fatty that looks like Tunch but with no tail) and Tiki’s brother Hazel (gray stripey also with no tail), both 5 years old.

  37. 37.

    cathyx

    I put my 2 fat indoor cats on a diet because they were fat and I didn’t want to end up doing the insulin thing. It’s easy to control the diet of indoor cats because you are the one who gives them everything they eat.
    But let me tell you that you have to have strong willpower to do it. They will beg, steal, and borrow to get you to give them more food. It took a couple of weeks for them to get used to eating twice a day. Then it took a good month for them to be satisfied with the amount I gave them. I slowly lessened the amount until it was the amount that they should be eating.
    Now, they are only the biggest pains in the world 1 hour before breakfast and dinner. The rest of the day they are fine. They are slim and trim and now they will probably outlive me.

  38. 38.

    TuiMel

    I have not thought of “F-Troop” in a VERY long time. But, I saw this Tunch Pic and the exclamation “It is balloon!” came shouting into my head.

  39. 39.

    trollhattan

    Oh man; oh CAT. A new Tunch photo and hilarity ensues, my day just got much mo betta.

    Tunch and Charlie Sheen in “Two-and-a-Half Katz.” Guess who plays the 2.5 cats?

  41. 41.

    licensed to kill time

    Ol’ Tunch Cole was a ravenous soul
    and a big jelly roll has he
    Well, he called for his lamb and he chirped for his ribs
    “John and Tammy dey’s a’killin’ me”

  44. 44.

    Tim, Interrupted

    How exactly does a cat “chirp?”

    And since Tunch is still fat, after years of Cole’s whining about it, we can only assume that his girth is just as John wishes it to be.

    Reading this blog is a daily, and extremely educational, case study in the ravages of codependence.

  45. 45.

    Alison

    Good fucking lord, Cole. It’s seriously not okay for a cat to be that big :( makes me sad to see it

  50. 50.

    Brother Shotgun of Sweet Reason

    @aimai: Oohhh. Long Kiss Goodnight. Excellent movie.

    Favorite line? Knife quivering in the wall after she’s thrown it. “Chefs do that!”

  52. 52.

    2liberal

    that is one fat cat. You should put a leash on him and make him go for walks. Although that would increase the odds that he will kill you while you are sleeping.

  57. 57.

    Redwood Rhiadra

    Where are his Gamorrean guards and scantily clad slave girl?!

    (wishes I had better Photoshop skills :-)

  58. 58.

    Richard Fox

    I believe that cat is Mae West reincarnated. I can hear the tart retorts and see the
    1890’s hats. All that’s needed is the all boy chorus. Nice visual to greet the morning…

  59. 59.

    Platonicspoof

    He has risen . . .

    Hhhmmm . . .

    I never pictured the Dude as a white cat.

    And not so, let’s say, worldly.

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