Early Morning Open Thread: Luzers

To commemorate 4/20, Tim Murphy at Mother Jones put together a list of the Republican presidential candidates’ positions on marijuana. Mostly they’re pretty predictable: the cyborg candidate touts synthetics, the tobacco lobbyist brooks no competition, and Newt Gingrich is a shameless hypocrite and huge fekking blowhard. But the big reveal is that one of them actually got busted with two shoeboxes full of the stuff, back in his privileged white-boy college days… and, of course, got off with a fine and a stern talking-to.


Dan Balz at the Washington Post duly stenographs the laments of the new RNC Chair, perhaps in an effort to explain why the Repubs are suddenly so very concerned about running up the national deficit:

When Priebus arrived at RNC headquarters after defeating Steele and others for the party’s top job, he found the following financial situation: cash on hand of little more than $350,000, with payroll of $400,000 due six days later. The overall debt stood at $24 million.
By the end of March, the party had $3.2 million cash on hand and debt of $19.8 million. Although the debt is still substantial, it is only a couple of million dollars more than the Democratic National Committee is carrying. Priebus believes that to show progress, getting the debt under $20 million was critical. Now he feels he has breathing room to manage the party’s finances more intelligently.
Steele’s neglect of major donors was well-known, but the problem was even more severe than advertised. According to a party source who declined to be identified in order to share internal accounting details, the RNC’s major donor program had generally brought in $40 million to $45 million during previous two-year cycles. During Steele’s tenure, the program raised just $7 million.
One of Priebus’s early steps was to meet with a who’s who of major Republican donors to enlist their help in getting the committee back in financial shape. They have responded enthusiastically. But can Priebus help put the party’s 2012 nominee in a financial position to go up against an opponent who threatens to raise close to a billion dollars?

Shorter RNC: “We let one of them sit in the corner office, out of the goodness of our hearts, and just look at the mess he left for us to clean up!”


Speaking of looters and parasites, Roy Edroso, having give Atlas Shrugged more serious attention than it deserves (“Unmitigated Galt“, Saturday April 16), uses his Village Voice column to summarize all the most earnest, heartfelt, tin-earred rightblogger paeans in its praise. “So may Galt go with them to the cineplexes and give them a good time. If other moviegoers prefer Rio, Rango, and Hop, why shouldn’t these guys enjoy cartoon characters of their own?”


And Tbogg, continuing his quest to get shot at from a helicopter, has a cartoon ‘familysticker’ of a certain Alaskan clan (‘Tawd, MamaGrizzly, Branch‘) that is a thing of beauty. Evil beauty.

20 replies
  1. 1

    This idea has been springing from my mind over the last evening, and it’s sorta like Asiangrrlmn’s idea of running for the GOP nomination, but I am thinking of a burrowing-into-the-nutocracy style effort to combat the talibangelicals.

    Like really going deep in, with the ties, the fancy suits, the slang, the cadence, etc. and just hammering them with verse after verse of their scriptures and going “medieval” on their asses.

    Of course, I don’t have the epic evangelical hair, but I would love to unload some Ezekial 25 on their shit. Get up in their pulpits and make it hum. Did I mention I have a license to preach?

    This is just spitballing, btw.

  2. 2
    Gina says:

    The best idea for using those stickers I’ve seen so far is to have one disheveled-looking woman and 40 cats, or as many as you can fit, on the back window of a minivan.

    /must order more cat stickers

  3. 3
    JPL says:

    Daniels won’t have a problem because IOKIYAR
    Poor Mitch had to pay such a large fine, if you consider inflation. In fact it could have been the largest fine ..evah also, too!!!

  4. 4
    Kristine says:

    And Tbogg, continuing his quest to get shot at from a helicopter,

    Oh, this made me laugh as much as the penguin video did.

  5. 5
    Uloborus says:

    Don’t. It will destroy you. How many, many people trying to subvert (and especially exploit) a system have actually fallen into it, mostly from slowly starting to believe what comes out of their own mouth?

    Cognitive Dissonance WILL make you her bitch.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Matt says:

    Kinda funny how Priebus and co. addressed the RNC budget problem – by INCREASING REVENUE. Shouldn’t they have just decided to slash wages and default on some contracts, or do their bizarro-world economic precepts only apply to the government?

  8. 8
    Joseph Nobles says:

    Well, well, the thing guaranteed to make my head asplode today popped up. Breitbart’s Big Peace linked to a Daily Mail review of a new Stanley Ann Durham biography “A Singular Woman: The Untold Story of Barack Obama’s Mother” by Janny Scott. Here’s the lovely headline:

    ‘Any nation will do’: New book reveals Barack Obama wanted to be prime minister of Indonesia at tender age of 9

    Inspirational story, right? Cute 9-year-old suffering racial attacks in a new country is asked what he wants to be when he grows up, and the kid replies Prime Minister of the country!

    Somehow, that’s not the spin the Mail puts on the story. Check out the URL:

    dailymail.co.uk/ news/ article-1379099/ New-book-reveals-Barack-Obamas-hunger-power-began-tender-age-9.html

    Oh, yeah. The birthers are going to go apeshit today.

  9. 9
    Matt says:

    On the RW-bloggers and the movie: anybody else notice that they’re basically arguing that they’re going to see a movie that doesn’t really entertain them in order to “send a message”? Sounds awfully ALTRUISTIC for a bunch of Randroids…

  10. 10
    James E. Powell says:


    Isn’t that exactly what the right-wing Christians did with the Passion of the Christ?

  11. 11
    Amir_Khalid says:

    AL, you didn’t say how much Mitch Daniel’s pot stash came to in weight, but here in Malaysia an automatic presumption of capital drug trafficking starts at just 15 grams. And two freakin’ shoeboxes full of ganja (never mind the acid and other stuff) sounds like a damn sight more than that.

    And as for the Randians’ very own Battlefield Earth, I remember that feeble box-office takings and widespread mockery kept the Church of L. Ron from making any more movies from his works. It looks like the same will happen to Atlas Shrugged Parts 2 and 3.

  12. 12
    Citizen_X says:

    in his privileged white-boy college days

    Ooh, ooh, I know! Barack Obama, right?

  13. 13
    D. Mason says:

    Shorter RNC: “We let one of them sit in the corner office, out of the goodness of our hearts, and just look at the mess he left for us to clean up!”

    Minority gets fired for doing a shitty job and out comes the race card. Typical.

  14. 14
    Paul in KY says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: You need to hit them with the New Testament shit, all the touchy-feely stuff. Anything quoted by Jesus, where he slams the rich or talks about washing a beggar’s sores. That sends them around the bend.

  15. 15
    Paul in KY says:

    @Amir_Khalid: Damn, 15 grams can get you executed?! Amir, you need to get your overlords to chill. Reefer isn’t that bad. The uppers & meth & betel nuts are worse, IMO.

  16. 16
    Joel says:

    @D. Mason: Whingenuts. Typical.

  17. 17
    Lol says:

    It’s interesting that Steele basically ran the RNC not dissimilarly to how Dean ran the DNC and got solar results. But the white guy gets his praises sung by both sides and the black guy is regarded as a joke by both sides. Hmmmmmmmm.

    (Steele sent a lot of money to the state parties; this was basically the Dean 50 State Strategy.)

  18. 18
    Rihilism says:

    Since this is an open thread and such, apropos of nothing, The Management Myth.

    Thought it was hilarious and sad…

  19. 19
    Comrade Mary says:


    The best idea for using those stickers I’ve seen so far is to have one disheveled-looking woman and 40 cats, or as many as you can fit, on the back window of a minivan.

    I don’t LOL at stuff I read very often, but that did it for me. Thanks!

  20. 20
    Amir_Khalid says:

    @Paul in KY: Ah,but betel nuts are traditional, man. You’ll take Granny’s betel nuts away when you pry them from her cold, dead fingers.

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