Romney-mentum is go! Willard has announced the formation of an exploratory committee! Tragically, lamestream media vultures like the Atlantic Wire have already been allowed to sully the “Mitt 2012: Under Normal GOP Traditions It’s His Turn” pre-campaign by noting that his “imagery is not exactly minty-fresh.” (Most hurtful, I suspect: Pointing out that Romney’s ‘Believe in America’ slogan was previously used by John Kerry. Willard consolidated his inherited millions as a venture/vulture capitalist; picking over carcasses for scraps is the basis of his MBA-friendly appeal.)
I have the impression that David Plouffe slept a little more soundly tonight.
Gail Collins already covered the dynamics of this kabuki theatre when Pawlenty beat Mitt to the punch:
… These days you don’t just throw your hat in the ring. You put the hat on a coat rack in the general vicinity of the ring, and then you have your supporters move the coat rack closer and closer, until it is finally time to take the hat down, put it right next to the ring and wait for a strong gust of wind.
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In a big news moment this week, the Pawlenty campaign released a stirring video filled with shots of smiling workers, Ronald Reagan, farmers harvesting wheat, flags and golden retrievers in which T-Paw talks about taking back America and then, to a triumphant swell of music, concludes: “That’s why today, I’m announcing the creation of an exploratory committee.”….
If neither of these Republican candidates seem flavorful enough for your jaded palate, Dave Weigel also reports that Ron Paul is getting closer to his third presidential bid, because Ryan’s budgetary jihad doesn’t go nearly far enough to gut our national safety nets.
Also, as a further inducement to attention-getting antics from the last failed Republican vice-presidential candidate, Joe McGinniss has started a blog. With comments!
(And still: So little love for “Hermain Cain, the GOP wild card”.)
Yutsano
Where’s mah dog on the roof story? I fully expect Gail Collins to wax poetically and mightily about the dog on the roof story. Plus I’m dying to hear Willard explain the magic underwear to the rest of the country, especially Jesusland. I need popcorn now.
Martin
@Yutsano: Maybe that’ll be the show of hands question in the GOP debates. ‘Which of the candidates here believes in magic underwear?’
That was easily the most horrifying moment of a presidential debate in my lifetime.
Yutsano
@Martin: Even better if Willard’s hand remains at his side. Then the howls of flip-flopper will get even louder. And I plan to laugh all the way to Obama’s second inauguration.
Spaghetti Lee
@Martin:
“All right candidates, hands up if you’ve never tied a dog to the roof of your car…Ahp, nice try, Mitt.”
Parallel 5ths (Jewish Steel)
@Yutsano:
…said Jane Romney. Do you doubt he out shined Mittens? No wonder Seamus had to ride outside.
RIP, roof dog.
Yutsano
@Spaghetti Lee: The Republican needs to be holding a Beltway pundit. I nominate Joe Klein. And I shan’t get into the disturbing notion of Paul Ryan as a neo-Lady Godiva.
Ailuridae
@Spaghetti Lee:
Awesome.
Are there open threads where one can’t make recipe requests? I am helping a friend client and he is finding my version of black bean salsa (below) runny. Any easy way to thicken it up without using cornstarch or arrowroot?
28 oz can black beans drained
28 oz can of diced or petite diced tomatoes drained
tablespoon minced garlic
grated white onion
lemon juice and basil or lime juice and cilantro
Put in bowl and mix
I find it fine when I eat it but he want something more salsa than pico de gallo. Thoughts?
Yutsano
@Ailuridae: Try salting the tomatoes after they’re drained in a cheesecloth lined colander. That should both draw moisture out and season the salsa beautifully. Also: jalapeno. Won’t thicken much but will give nice zip.
Ailuridae
@Yutsano: @Yutsano:
I was typing out the watery ingredients. Salsa without jalapenos is silly. I’m thinking a tablespoon of tomato paste might thicken it up.
Warren Terra
The fatal flaw in your post is that it quoted Gail Collins, who Respected Presidential Candidate Donald Trump informs us is devoid of talent and not worth listening to.
Still, the Pawlenty ad sounds amusing. I think if he just goes all-in and films an ad that contains everything on Stuff White People Like, with soft-focus and stirring music, he should get the nomination in a walk.
stuckinred
Georgia Preacher to pray at Gas Pumps
alwhite
I forgot who Joe was, when I saw this post my first thought was “Cripes! Another nobody for the Republican field? At least it will make Herman seem well known.
MoZeu
My son is a dwarf. I sure wish people wouldn’t use the word as a derogatory term for inadequacy.
Davis X. Machina
GOP 2012 slogan:”Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the
truthcandidate.Holems/Watson 20121
SRW1
Love that headline.
PaulW
I did a list of potential (and mockable) GOP Candidates for 2012 on my blog for April Fools Day. It seemed appropriate.
You still have to remember one thing: A Republican-engineered collapse of the economy is still in the cards, meaning Obama doesn’t have a cake-walk this 2012. Even if the candidate he faces in November is one of these clowns:
Michelle Bachmann: who’s in this list because she’s dangerously popular with the Teabagger wing of the GOP that’s sure to dominate the primaries;
Haley Barbour: the lobbyist-friendly candidate who’s bound to cause some uncomfortable flashbacks to 1963 (and 1863);
Herman Cain: he’s not the Alan Keyes candidate (that would be John Bolton), but the Uncaring CEO candidate (screw you, Trump, he got here first!);
Newt Gingrich: the “serious adult” candidate of political hypocrisy from all your Sunday morning talk show nightmares (and whom Bill Clinton can chew up and spit out for lunch by Monday…”Ya owe me a favah, Barry…”);
Mike Huckabee: the slightly better southern-based candidate whose pandering to the FOX-Not-News crowd is sure to wow the moderate and independent voters (sarcasm mode is mandatory when discussing GOP candidates);
Sarah Palin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (pretty much the only remaining thing Andrew Sullivan and I agree on now);
Ron Paul: Because Ralph Nader disrupting GOP primaries just doesn’t seem to work;
Tim Pawlenty: Hey, Tim! How many people die on that bridge your state gov’t failed to oversight?
Mitt Romney: Dear Mitt, if you couldn’t beat John McCain in last cycle’s election, how the hell you gonna convince the hardline GOP base to vote for you THIS TIME?
On paper, they’re jokes. They’re unserious. They can get shredded within a week of becoming the nominee…
But because ours is a two-party dominated system, people will STILL take that coming GOP candidate seriously. And if the Republicans have their way and trash our economy, they’ll INSIST on pinning the blame on Obama… and can do it well enough to eke out an undeserving win.
These are still scary times.
Don’t Vote Republican.
Wag
@Yutsano:
Can we stop with the “magic underwear” BS now. There are so many substantive issues on which to disagree with the Mormon church that to use the underwear as your meme is simply bigoted. Whats next? Making fun of your local Sikh because of his turban? You would fit right in in South Carolina where Gov Nikki Whatshername ran in to that BS from the Evangelical wing of the GOP. Or perhaps you can start talking about Jewish Bankers running the world, like Glenn Beck.
Make your arguments with facts, not name calling.
catclub
@Wag: Of course, there is a slight difference between ‘jewish bankers run the world’
and magic underwear. Jews do not take as an article of their faith that Jewish bankers run the world.
Mitt DOES believe that magic underwear makes all the difference.
Sikhs do believe that their turban matters.
Mock away.
I think Christians should be mocked regularly for thinking a magic sky fairy turned into a man and died for everyone.
(Note: I do.) We say it every Sunday at church, so might as well admit it on monday. If our feelings are hurt by that description it will at least be a learning experience.
It helps to clarify what one actually DOES believe, in spite of the mocking.
Paul in KY
@catclub: I think the turban is to control their hair. Sikhs (the ones who wear turbans) never cut their hair.
mclaren
Looks like the flip side of 1984.
DougW
Before blending with the above mentioned improvements, add some grated cheese such as queso fresco, or any “farmers” cheese, or medium Cheddar cut with half Colby. Add well drained canned green chilies and a few well toasted breadcrumbs. Blend together and let the party begin…