Open Thread: I Say a Little Prayer for You

This is an open thread, but I wanted to share a little prayer I said this morning on behalf of all of us.

Dear Baby Jesus,

I know that I haven’t been too kind to you or your child fucking representatives here on this little planet that your daddy pooped out 5,000 years ago. And, I realize that your old man has been smiting sinners like me since before you were riding dinosaurs in your footie pajamas.

But, since you seem like the more tolerant member of the holy three, and because I don’t have the Holy Ghost’s email address, I wanted to send this out to you.

Please, please, please make Mike Huckabee run for president. I know that Palin gives a lot of your groupies a chub, but Huck is way better at pissing off Daniel Larison, and Larison is really funny when he’s mad at dummies.

In return, I will continue to call myself a christian, primarily because of you, but also because of bad rock music.

Insincerely, your less-than-humble non-servant, christian mistermix

If everyone here repeats my prayer three times today, and buys gold, I know in my heart that Baby Jesus will answer our prayers with candidate Hucksterbee.

33 replies
  1. 1
    cathyx says:

    Maybe a twofer with Palin as VP.

  2. 2

    Imagine a GOP field with Huckabee, Bachmann, Gingrich, Pawlenty, Ron Paul and Romney! The movie version would be: One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest: How I Won The 2012 GOP Nomination.

  3. 3
    MonkeyBoy says:

    Mike Huckabee’s just out book “A Simple Government: Twelve Things We Really Need from Washington (and a Trillion That We Don’t!)” could really use some help from you readers in adding descriptive tags. (Is an Amazon account needed to do so?).

    I like the current tag “keeping America stupid” though the existing tag, “pig vomit”, is rather distasteful. You can vote up existing tags or make up your own.

  4. 4
    Commenting at Balloon Juice since 1937 says:

    I thought Huckleberry already said he did not want to take the pay cut required to be President.

  5. 5
    Mudge says:

    You are seriously unserious. And a DFH. Mike Huckabee, like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker and Ted Haggard and Gary Aldridge (RIP) have faith. All else must be forgiven.

  6. 6

    Daniel Larison writes for a web site/magazine that includes the headline “Why Scott Walker must win.” He can go f himself.

  7. 7
    Fargus says:

    OT, I found this in Google Reader, and it’s maybe the stupidest thing yet written about the Wisconsin protests:

    The basic argument is that because people in Wisconsin are protesting, it’s proof positive that they’re overpaid.

    This is an argument made by somebody who’s paid to teach people economics. In college.

    Fuck me sideways.

  8. 8
    WereBear says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: With a modified sawsall.

  9. 9
    Crashman says:

    @MonkeyBoy: I’m personally a fan of “lard bucket” and “hill-billy logic.”

  10. 10
    Morbo says:

    Oh noes, Obama wants to confiscate my gold!

  11. 11
    Comrade Mary says:

    Huh? My last attempt at a comment completely disappeared into the ether.

    Anyway, if you follow the “mad at dummies” link, you may see someone familiar in the comments. Poor Larison.

  12. 12
    Mike Kay (True Grit) says:

    Ya know, I don’t think fatso is gonna run. At age 56, he may want to wait until 2016.

    Sadly, Palin is not running.

    I don’t think Mittster will make it because of the Mormon thing, romenycare, flip flopping on abortion, and taxachusetts.

    TPaw is more boring than lemon juice. The arab guy from Indiana is an arab. Gingrich and Senator Man on Dog are jokes.

    That leaves us Haley Barbour. Alas, he may not make it to the end as the grueling campaign stress, coupled with his morbidly obese condition will lead to a catastrophic moment.

  13. 13
    jheartney says:

    The “election” of 2000 cured me of wanting to celebrate when the other side nominates a moron.

  14. 14
    piratedan says:

    @jheartney: This and don’t forget the Republican’s innate ability of turd polishing

  15. 15
    Ija says:

    It will never happen. Republicans actually know how to win, and they’ll throw the crazies to the back of the line when it actually matters. It will be Daddy Daniels. I look forward to Andrew Sullivan slobbering all over him for two years.

  16. 16
    Ash Can says:

    LOL! At this point, the only potential GOP candidates who give me even the slightest willies are Tim Pawlenty and John Thune, since they’re a couple of nice white faces attached to empty heads and empty suits that can be filled with whatever pre-fab fast-food messaging the Koch brothers and Karl Rove want. We’ve already seen what kind of damage that set-up can do, when assisted by a compliant press. However, the GOP needs to lay off the unions in order to make that work this time around, and I’m not looking for that to happen anytime soon, because I don’t think they can help themselves at this point.

  17. 17
    Paul in KY says:

    @Mike Kay (True Grit): I’m thinking Mitch Daniels and/or Jeb Bush. Those would be the ‘sane’ candidates.

  18. 18
    Amir_Khalid says:

    @Comrade Mary: I was kind of wondering what had happened to the Balloon Juice commenter who liked to call me “Immortal Brother”.

  19. 19
    Mike Kay (True Grit) says:

    mitch daniels is an arab.


    they will never nominate someone who’s an arab.

  20. 20
    niknik says:

    @MonkeyBoy: How about the tag “dipshittery”? I’m too lazy to go add it myself, though.

  21. 21
    Paul in KY says:

    @Mike Kay (True Grit): That Indian girl won in S. Carolina. His name is ‘Daniels’, not Abu-Daniela. He certainly looks really whitebread.

    I’m betting they can close their eyes to this supposed Arabness. They certainly can block out all kinds of ‘reality’, when desired.

  22. 22
    Mike Kay (True Grit) says:

    @Paul in KY: and she barely won in a republican year in a deep red state with 51% of the vote.

    The thing is once Barbour/Romney start swiftboating him (via robo calls/leaflets/web sites/hate radio) he’ll be 5’2″ toast.

  23. 23
    aimai says:

    Its terribly funny to hear periodic updates on Mitt Romney’s chances–which I do because I live in Boston and there’s a certain “home boy” quality to the reporting. Every now and then a new poll will come out showing that under no circumstances will anyone *but* a Mormon or an atheist conservative who thinks all Christian sects are the same vote for Romney. In other words: he can’t win a southern state. But the reporters always report this in the same wondering tone they’d give a sudden asteroid strike in a remote part of the world.


  24. 24
    mds says:

    @Mike Kay (True Grit):

    he’ll be 5’2” toast.

    Hey, now, all the recent media fluff pieces have asserted that Governor Daniels is 5’7″. Of course, as Doghouse Riley is fond of observing, it’s strange that someone who’s 5’7″ needs to stand on a box to see over a standard podium. Apparently, Daniels plans to campaign using Lee Marvin’s camera angles. Or he’s hoping that it will provoke further outrage when President Obama is seen “bowing” to him.

    (No, the height thing isn’t fair. Neither is all the touting of a privatization freak who ran George W. Bush’s OMB as a “fiscally responsible” Republican.)

  25. 25
    Malron says:

    Always quite refreshing to see these front page posts mocking religion appear almost daily on this blog lately.

    I know you guys love to paint all us Christians with the same brush because you hate the so-called religious right, but maybe you should try to remember that many of the most progressive movements in this country were led by Christian leaders, and many of the most loyal members of today’s progressive movement are Chritians as well as supporters of this blog and have to have to sift through your smug anti-religious bullshit in order to get to whatever point you’re supposed to be making at the time.

    Just sayin’.

  26. 26
    Svensker says:

    May I point out that Catholic priests represent the Catholic church and not Christians in general.

    Personally I prefer to pray that the Republicans get some sanity and that war mongering and greed and bigotry of all kinds are replaced with kindness and generosity and understanding. I’m not wild about your prayer and would prefer you not say it in my name. Kthnx.

  27. 27
    Fargus says:

    @Malron: You’re right. Your feelings should be accommodated for every post. I trust the FPers are getting on it right now. You know as a regular reader that this blog is really sensitive about possibly hurting people’s feelings.

  28. 28
    eemom says:

    Know what this blog needs? A HR department. And some customer service representatives.

  29. 29
    sukabi says:

    think you’re praying to the wrong “god”… Huckabee’s said pretty plainly that he doesn’t want to lose the golden calf that FOX has given him… and Palin’s got the same tingly feeling Huck’s got… they can feel the ka-ching right down in their private parts… neither one is going to give that up for a long shot run, and many, many months of grueling schedules, hard work, and forced smiles, when they can sit in a comfy studio, spout their nonsense a couple of times a week and cash a HUGE check.

  30. 30
    Arclite says:

    Okay, that prayer was pretty funny. Does that make me evil? Maybe a little bit, but not as evil as preening hypocritical “Christians” who suck cash, hate the poor, and persecute entire groups of people who would have been totally embraced by Jesus.

  31. 31
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @Comrade Mary: Isn’t that precious that she changed her name? I immediately recognized her, um, style, though.

    @Malron: Sure. As soon as the faux-Christians stop being such asshats. We got a deal?

  32. 32
    Remember November says:


  33. 33
    Smurfhole says:


    “We don’t have to stop being assholes until other people, whom you have no control over, agree to stop being assholes.”

    Wonderful moral tradeoff you’ve got there.

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