I’m still laughing at the way Tucker Carlson’s vanity project basically inserted itself into the day’s news by making shit up about pedestrian fatalities being caused by Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign. Even funnier is how they have changed it after the good folks at the GHSA pointed out they are lunatics. The original headline:
“First Lady’s anti-obesity campaign could be causing more pedestrian deaths.”
The new and improved headline:
“Highway safety spokesperson blames pedestrian deaths on Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign?”
I will officially take this opportunity to start an even better rumor- Michelle Obama’s anti-obesity campaign was actually a very subtle plot to kill Jim Treacher and other right-wingers. First, they get them to walk more, then they have other branches of the government run them down.
It’s true. The ghost of Vince Foster told me so.
Linkmeister
Even better, the government’s reducing costs by running them down with cars, not black helicopters!
Deficit reduction!
matoko_chan
i hope you understand you just drew the blog pentagram that summons Treacher.
he will manifest soon.
dmsilev
No, you obviously haven’t gone deep enough into the rabbit hole. Think about it for a moment. Who walks from place to place? Clearly not Real Americans. It’s only liberals, with their “living in densely populated areas” and “wanting to get some exercise” that do the walking.
This is, therefore, obviously, plainly, yet another way in which Obama has Sold Out His Base, this time to the forces of Big Automotive-Induced Injury.
dms
TR
Someone needs to loosen Tucker’s bowtie and get some oxygen to his brain. Sweet Jesus.
Brachiator
OT. Some other crazy stuff that deserves mention. The Daily Beast and Yahoo has an interesting story about La Palin. The browser I’m using has linky problems, so someone else may find a better link ref.
I think it’s useful to know who is pulling the puppet’s strings.
Odie Hugh Manatee
This is stupid that’s denser than Mallory metal.
Tucker needs to replace his bow tie with a propeller beanie cap. It’ll make him look smarter.
slag
Juries still out on whether this “good folks” claim holds water. So far, they seem like a bunch of douchebags to me.
Roger Moore
Outstanding use of the Cavuto Mark.
Bnut
I’m assuming the Daily Caller screens it’s comments pretty harshly, since only 12 comments on this story seems a bit low for such Internet outrage.
J. Michael Neal
@slag:
Yeah, how dare they be misquoted by wingnuts who up the ante by to outright lies when the “good folks” point out the mistake!
morzer
@Linkmeister:
We saved money on their Medicare also too! More deficit reduction goodness. We’ve saved enough to buy Simpson’s Bowels a new skateboard!
MikeJ
@Brachiator: “Hollywood writer”. One short listed on IMDB.
Ain’t exactly in the same class as Clinton’s pals.
Lolis
This was definitely a warning shot to The Onion writers that their jobs are in danger.
slag
@J. Michael Neal: Why don’t you read what they actually wrote before you comment?
Allan
If you go to the GHSA website, you will find that they link to the state government agencies across the nation who comprise their membership.
In addition to expressing my disgust directly to the organization, I have used this to contact the California Office of Traffic Safety and demand that they reject and renounce the national organization and join my call for a clean sweep of its executive leadership.
I think if all the state agencies found emails in their inboxes tomorrow demanding that they address this idiocy with GHSA, it would make the next few days at the GHSA headquarters far more interesting.
Warren Terra
@Roger Moore:
I think this may need its own term. Note that they’re not just using a question mark to turn an unsubstantiated accusation formulated into a mere innocent question – they’re using it to “ask” whether the unsubstantiated accusation was made by a different person. To me, at least, there’s a big difference between the headline:
and the headline:
or even the headline:
All these puppy-murdering headlines use question marks to turn a false and inflammatory statement into a mere question. But while the first two headlines make a vile and false accusation (in the safe form of a question), it’s the way the last one manages to place the accusation in the mouth of a third party, still in the innocuous form of a question, that is the real achievement of evil here.
Ija
@J. Michael Neal:
The spokesman mentioned Michelle Obama in a radio interview. Can you be misquoted in a radio interview? How does that work?
http://www.wmal.com/Article.asp?id=2087141
I wouldn’t be too quick to call GHSA the victim here. They bear some responsibility as well.
nevsky42
I’m glad some people can still laugh, I just find it incredibly depressing. With this kind of knee-jerk reaction from the right Michelle should start a campaign to prevent people from picking their noses with rusty Garden Weasels…
quaint irene
And what about that vegetable garden she started on the White House grounds?My god, an innocent child walking in there could get stung by a bee or their sneakers all scuffed up or get all grossed out by a really icky bug.
The First Lady is a monster!
piratedan
Remember when Tucker Carlson used to be relevant? me neither….
gbear
@Linkmeister:
I thought we were slapping them in the face with busses.
Ija
@piratedan:
Which billionaire is bankrolling Daily Caller? Or is Carlson a trust fund baby with family money?
Cat Lady
Hack No. 22 is “a thin-skinned mess of hypocrisy”. No need to reinvent the wheel.
lllphd
i actually called that GHSA office today to get the skinny, and the guy, jon adkins (every nice guy, by the by) explained it was a very rightwing radio station, and the context very clearly not a slam against michelle, in fact they thoroughly support her program.
i suggested an alternative interpretation of their data, that more folks are walking because driving and even cycling and public transportation are so damn expensive, or – in the case of public transport – has been either budget cut to hell or defunded altogether.
he was very responsive and appreciative. said his message to the public is to be safe.
kvenlander
Someday somebody will say something so outrageously stupid on Teh Internets that we’ll just have to shut the whole thing down because it just isn’t worth it anymore. Something where the stupid is so pointed and contagious that just being exposed to it makes you vote for the next Teahadist candidate. This isn’t it – yet – but I think I lost thousands of neurons reading this (second hand!).
The Wingularity Event Horizon is approaching. Repent!
mark
@Brachiator: you know who else was an ex-hollywood screenwriter? Ayn Rand.
BGinCHI
Yeah, but this is what we get for complaining that GWB took us to war and got thousands of people killed.
Tucker is just showing us that we should have kept quiet.
Mike B
Are we sure the uptick in pedestrian deaths isn’t due to pedestrians being run over by wingnuts in motorized scooters on their way to Tea Party rallies?
Isn’t this the question we should be asking?
Ija
@lllphd:
But he’s the guy who was interviewed by the radio station. So he denies specifically mentioning Michelle Obama and her campaign?
The Grand Panjandrum
If only Agent Flowbee had released the “Whitey Tape” as promised! Just think of all the lives that could have been saved.
quaint irene
And here I thought you were talking about James O’Keefe.
Loneoak
Man, Jim Treacher’s logo always makes me laugh. I’m having a hard time describing the aesthetic.
67-year-old shut in failed cartoonist for free Des Moines westside newsletter?
Gilligan’s Island meets the scribblings of 12-year-old Sean Hannity?
soonergrunt
Veterinarian treating animals abused by bestiality blames Tucker Carlson?
aimai
This whole Michelle is trying to kill you all reminds me of a bizarro world version of the app that circulated before the 2008 election in which an ever changing text would fill your screen:
Obama is helping your Grandmother Cross the Road
Obama is outside fixing your bicycle
Obama is thinking of you
Obama is helping kitties
I liked it so much I had it up with its rotating good wishes for a while. I think someone needs to do an App like that for the Tucker Carlson, it could simply take the news of the day –say porkbellies are up, or widget production is down–and add “Michelle used X to kill children today…”
I’ll start: 5 Inches of Snow expected in MA. tomorrow. Michelle Obama urges children to eat any that is yellow. What do you want to bet it will be picked up by Tucker?
aimai
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@quaint irene: Repeat offenses: Sexism, dickishness, defensive hypermasculinity, dishonesty.
Representative quote:
“Fuck you.”
Until it came to “Fuck you” I figured you were talking about Lieberman
Boots Day
Or is Carlson a trust fund baby with family money?
Tucker Carlson’s children are named Lillie, Hopie, Dorothy and Buckley. That should answer your question.
slag
@Allan: I like this idea. The Michelle Obama nonsense aside, they definitely seem to be preaching a very rightwing worldview. And not just on Rush Limbaugh.
Chris Wolf
The police should hire Keith Haring to do the chalk outlines.
Belafon (formerly anonevent)
@matoko_chan: OK, you actually made me laugh.
demkat620
Okay, its enough, I don’t want to live to see Peak Wingnut anymore.
It’s too much.
Mike Kay
poor Tucker, he’s such a miserable failure.
Citizen_X
Did Tucker Carlson help Glenn Beck rape and murder a girl?
I’M JUST ASKING!
Mike Kay
@Citizen_X:
exactly, why did they rape and kill JonBenet?
gnomedad
It’s been periodically suggested that, for example, Obama should warn Glenn Beck listeners about the risks of chugging Ipecac. If Michelle warns white seniors to get out of their houses for exercise as often as possible, that should put a crimp in Tea Party operations.
Linkmeister
@gbear: Maybe, although the only Federally-owned buses I’ve ever seen were owned by the military and used to truck people from terminals out onto the tarmac to get on their KC-135s or KC-141s and fly off to outlying posts in the empire.
Allan
@slag: I don’t get mad, I get even.
Linda Featheringill
Oops! Wrong thread. Sorry.
Cat Lady
@Jim, Foolish Literalist:
If you’re Joe Lieberman you pretty much completely suck at life if Chuck Todd, Pat Buchanan and Joe Scar, your natural allies, shit talk you. Jeebus, everyone but Walnuts hates Lieberman.
Allan
@lllphd:
He did a very bad job of getting that message across. I’m sure there’s someone else in DC who’s more competent.
danimal
Not that policy matters a damn bit in these type of blogstorms, but I’ll pretend to analyze this as if it’s a real issue.
IIRC, the massive pedestrian death increase was about 0.04%, with the sum total being about 7 more pedestrian deaths. If the anti-obesity campaingn is at all effective, and if there is any correlation between the campaign and increased pedestrian deaths, it’s still a good bargain. Reducing obesity rates even a smidge (a highly technical term, I realize) will save FAR more than 7 lives. And a whole lot of money, as well.
The Dangerman
If this is the best shit they’ve got (yes, that can be taken in multiple ways), it just goes to show how weak they are.
Notice how the Republican House shifted to being concerned over jobs? You mean they didn’t? Watch their poll numbers go to shit now. Can’t win an election with just the teatard 27 percenters.
Cacti
@Ija:
Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson.
Swanson frozen foods.
PS
OT but surprisingly close to brilliant, here’s the opening:
Heartbreak ensues
MoeLarryAndJesus
Tucker Carlson was infamous as a frat boy at Trinity College due to his habit of indulging in auto-felching in public. He’d bounce into a room all naked and stinking of his own manjuice and he’d hop up onto a table and do his act with a long straw. And, of course, he’d finish it all off with a White Russian chaser.
This is all at least as true as anything the little prick writes about anyone named Obama.
gnomedad
@The Dangerman:
“Best” is irrelevant. The monkeys will fling whatever poo they can get their hands on.
wasabi gasp
Booyah! More kills than Palin. Suck it, baggers.
slag
@Allan: Exactly. His message to the public was to be afraid. And drive more.
PeakVT
Reminds of this find by Dr. Black:
Mark S.
@The Dangerman:
Well, here’s more shit:
Even dimbulb Neil Cavuto didn’t buy this shit, so Rep. Campbell pretended his plan cut $330 billion every year for ten years. And of course, there will be no cuts to SS, Medicare, defense, and all the other shit that adds up to 85% of the fucking budget.
I’m going out on a limb here, but it really isn’t constructive to have one party consisting entirely of delusional dipshits. We actually have some serious problems in this country, problems that need to be addressed or America could very well be a second-rate power in fifty years, and instead half of Congress is studying ways to balance the budget by cutting PBS and AmTrak.
The Dangerman
Which is why we should be thankful that the Senate and White House remain the figurative adults in the room; the Republicans have nothing beyond tax cuts and cutting spending (and, as you say, they can’t do it by going after PBS and Amtrak). The next 2 years will suck shit, but the Republicans have a problem in 2012 (and, if Palin gets nominated, they have even bigger problems).
Odie Hugh Manatee
@Citizen_X:
Was Tucker Carlson in then Congressman Joe Scarborough’s (R-Jesusstan) office where a young woman was later found dead?
It would be irresponsible not to speculate!
J. Michael Neal
@slag: I did. What they said is, basically, that if there are more people walking, there is a greater possibility for “pedestrian-vehicle conflicts.” That seems not only entirely undickish, but incontrovertibly true. Hence their statement that pedestrians need to make sure they pay attention.
@Ija:
Responsibility for what? Pointing out the fucking obvious? Yes, if people walk more, it has the potential to increase pedestrian fatalities. They never claimed that it did. They never claimed that it will. All they did was say that it could, and ask pedestrians to make sure they’re paying attention.
I don’t know that they are the victim, but they sure as hell didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t care if they did mention Michelle Obama. Simply mentioning her isn’t a problem. The problem is what Carlson’s Clowns did with that statement.
As for this, slag:
You’re imagining things. He not only didn’t say that, he said the exact opposite. He said that increased walking is a good thing. All he said was that there are a lot of clueless pedestrians, which is a phenomenon I can personally attest to, because there are a lot of them.
He isn’t out to get anyone. He’s just a part of a bog standard pubic awareness campaign.
Stillwater
@BGinCHI: Yeah, but this is what we get for complaining that GWB took us to war and got thousands of people killed.
And now the Obamas killing more Americans…
I know it’s too true to refute, but both sides do it.
fucen tarmal
you people are dismissing this notion too quickly. i mean, this is the first speck of nuance, and consideration for unintended consequences we have heard from the right wing for a while.
and sure, purely in its own context, its a lazy attempt at “not it” over the tucson shootings. but consider even at that,this is the best they got, the state of the republic is sound. at least as far democrats making the point that the right wing is nuts is concerned, they can’t even defend themselves anymore.
more importantly, if we allow this sort of reasoning into the public debates, imagine what we can do with the “values” agenda, the case that purity rings cause anal secks is far clearer. so can’t we then say its a latent desire of the right wing to see their most delicate flowers pounded into the headboards in pillow-biting glory? or their war on the poor? they were in fact, war criminals in the last administration? easier cases to make all.
it seems this is an admission of blanket culpability, and even perhaps intent.
SFAW
What?
mikefromArlington
Next Daily Caller article:
‘Whitey’ tape uncovered?
Jager
@Boots Day:
Who fathered them?
Jager
@J. Michael Neal: the increase was something like .04%, that’s a handful of texting while walking asshats strolling into traffic.
harlana
I’m not going to read anything Tucker Carlson has to say. Can i just complain in general? Harrumph
Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen
Tucker Carlson – Needle-dicked bug fucker?
kdaug
Wait – did Glen Beck just imply that Tucker Carlson was directly responsible for the rape of Guatamalan schoolboys by Catholic priests wearing Prada vests and Boba Fett masks?
I’m more than willing to air both sides of the argument, and it’s certainly something that Tucker should have the opportunity to respond to here, but there are non-trivial implications we must take into account.
These allegations are serious, and clearly warrant further investigation.
I await a response from Team Tucker.
Wile E. Quixote
@Jager:
How much did Jim Treacher contribute to these statistics when he threw himself in front of a government vehicle in order to try to cash in big by filing a frivolous lawsuit?
slag
@J. Michael Neal: Placing the blame for a practically/possibly nonexistent increase in pedestrian fatalities almost entirely on pedestrians and “livable communities” and “‘get moving’ health campaigns” is not only stupid but counterproductive. Why not blame…oh, I don’t know…cars? And overly car-centric city planning? Here’s why not: because you’re a bunch of douchebags who apparently don’t even understand what the term “livable communities” actually means in spite of the fact that you work in TRANSPORTATION.
MoeLarryAndJesus
@Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen:
Well, yeah, but he has to get the bugs drunk first. And they all end saying he was too fast.
morzer
Shouldn’t we investigate the claim that Tucker Carlson committed suicide seven times in order to make out like a bandit on life insurance?
asiangrrlMN
Tucker Carlson is a life-sized puppet with Rush Limbaugh’s hand up his ass, manipulating his bowels. You read it here first.
Wait. That’s unsubstantiated.
Tucker Carlson is a life-sized puppet with Rush Limbaugh’s hand up his ass, manipulating his bowels?
Much better.
Jebediah
@morzer:
Of course we should, but the fact that he did it seven times and is still here indicates that none of the various afterlifes/underworlds/heavens want that smarmy needle-dicked bugfucking shit-hose either.
Zuzu's Petals
Soooo….
Whatever happened to Treacher’s BIG STORY about the sinister government employee who hit him with the sinister black SUV?
It was all Treacher “hit-and-run” all the time until about the time the police report was supposed to come out. Then…crickets.
Zuzu's Petals
@slag:
Why not put the blame on the obvious culprit? Those deadly silent hippie-hybrid-mobiles.
Ash Can
@lllphd: Good for you for going straight to the source. Hopefully this guy realizes that he was hung out to dry by the shitheels at WMAL and made to look like an ass, and has learned his lesson about talking to “very right wing” radio people.
lllphd
@Ija:
he explained it was taken completely out of context. i didn’t press him on that, as i hadn’t listened to the entire show (nor did i want to), but instead wanted to offer him an alternative explanation he might actually use in the course of press coverage for this mess that emphasized the COST of transportation being why more folks are walking.
he really was a nice guy, and i counted the fact that he so readily acknowledged the station was rightwing as a good thing.
and he talked to me. i didn’t ask to speak directly to him, he’s the one who came to the phone when this nobody (i gave my name and said i was ‘just a citizen’) called in.
lllphd
@Ash Can:
i got the distinct impression he was (see previous comment). tho he didn’t apologize, he did stress that they support michelle’s program.
les
@Cat Lady:
don’t forget BoBo, who loves him too, in a totes heterosexual way. Also.