Atta Boy, Ed!

We can add another clown to the mix- Ed Morrisey:

Obviously, most Hot Air readers disagree with my assessment (and Allahpundit’s) of Barack Obama’s speech last Wednesday evening at the University of Arizona. They also blame Obama more for the odd tone of the event, with its whooping and whistling and t-shirts, than the university that organized it. Fair enough. But one thing on which we can all agree is that that the White House wrote the speech, and apparently added “applause” indicators into Obama’s speech that the university put on the Jumbotron in their captioning for the audience.

he then updates to state they “may not have been responsible for the applause indicators.”

IT WAS CLOSED CAPTIONING, YOU CLOWN. Watch your own damned video- do you think Obama broke space and time to have the crowd applaud BEFORE the [applause] appeared on the Jumbotron?

How do these people make it through the day without stabbing themselves in the eye with a spoon when they eat?

99 replies
  1. 1
    GambitRF says:

    I think Obama also wrote the Native American blessing that offended Brit Hume’s sensibilities. And he single-handedly printed up all of those T-shirts with taxpayer money. Biden helped a little.

  2. 2
    BGinCHI says:

    And, speaking of clowns, there’s a movement afoot to draft Mike Pence to run for President:

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.....hp?ref=fpi

    No reply from the WH yet on whether this means Obama will refuse to run for a second term.

    I’ll keep my eye on Politico though to see what they say.

  3. 3

    From the comments:

    For those who argue that the [applause] on the Jumbotron was just part of the closed captioning, I say B.S. Closed captioning is for the deaf. Those deaf people who were reading the closed captioning are DEAF, not BLIND. Don’t you think they would see people applauding, so why would they need to be told people were applauding?

    Mother of Christ these are the stupidest fucking people alive.

  4. 4
    JPL says:

    Discussion of Ed should include a resident psychologist or at least an interpreter because I can’t understand what he’s saying half the time.

  5. 5
  6. 6
    J. A. Baker says:

    do you think Obama broke space and time to have the crowd applaud BEFORE the [applause] appeared on the Jumbotron?

    It’s certainly possible. I mean, after all, these are the people who seem to believe that Bill Clinton’s penis grew to ginormous size and sawed the WTC in half before jizzing on the Pentagon…or something like that…

  7. 7
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    Glasses. Some parents get their children glasses so they can see better. Some get them to protect their children’s eyes.

  8. 8
    Ripley says:

    But one thing on which we can all agree is that that the White House wrote the speech, and apparently added “applause” indicators into Obama’s speech…

    Uh, no. That is not one thing on which we can all agree. Dumbass.

  9. 9
    Ash Can says:

    CLOSED CAPTIONS HOW THE FUCK DO THEY WORK

  10. 10
    Hunter Gathers says:

    I will never get over the amount of time, money and effort these morons waste while coming up with new ways of screaming ‘nigger, nigger’. If half the energy spent doing so was redirected, we would have hyperdrives by now.

  11. 11
    JenJen says:

    This is the kind of shit that just drives me up a tree. He tacks on an edit that essentially debunks the entire post, but he doesn’t call it a “correction,” he calls it an “update.”

    The “update” disputes everything just written, yet he leaves the post on “Obamateurism of the Day” page, and and he slaps an “Obamateurism” graphic just underneath the “update”.

    “However, his point on the applause indicators is well-taken.”

    WTF? His point, dumbass, is that you’re a dumbass, and no matter how much you wish it were true, those weren’t applause indicators.

    Yes, I realize this isn’t very civil of me, but I will never, ever, ever understand these people.

  12. 12
    Kryptik says:

    Did none of these fuckers ever actually try Closed Captioning on their own TVs? Or did they mistake the bracketed sound effects captions as orders from the magical Teevee fairies all this time?

  13. 13
    Roger Moore says:

    How do these people make it through the day without stabbing themselves in the eye with a spoon when they eat?

    What makes you think they’ve advanced to the point of using utensils to eat? A better question is how they avoid biting their own fingers. The best answer I can come up with is that they’re still lowering their face into their food, rather than lifting it up to their mouths.

  14. 14
    BR says:

    This thread is win.

  15. 15
    Scott P. says:

    How do these people make it through the day without stabbing themselves in the eye with a spoon when they eat?

    I think the answer can be found here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P5qJAI9BIc

  16. 16
    geg6 says:

    @Roger Moore:

    I have some Internets for you.

    “Biting their own fingers” made me LOL and now the whole office is looking at me funny.

  17. 17
    Drouse says:

    @Ash Can: With these dumbasses it’s CLOSED CAPTIONS HOW THE FUCK DO I GET IT TO GO AWAY! They have to call tech support to program the remote.

  18. 18
    slimslowslider says:

    Wow… the amount of stupidity in the comments over there chapped my lips. And I have been online since 1996.

  19. 19
    bago says:

    You don’t know the power of the dark side.

  20. 20
    Zifnab says:

    IT WAS CLOSED CAPTIONING, YOU CLOWN.

    Or so the liberal media would have you believe.
    And even if it was closed-captioning, since when does Obama go around bragging about his popularity to the deaf? I think the House should seriously consider holding investigations into what is a very blatant violation of the Hatch Act, the Sherman Act, and the Nuremberg Trials.

    Obama is trying to subvert our Constitution in this moment of tragedy, when celebrated public figures like Gaberille Giffords and Sarah Palin have fallen under ruthless attack, and all you can do is apologize for the President’s endless grandstanding.

    Shame on you, John Cole.

  21. 21
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    Dumb. No, stupid. No, idiotic. No, moronic. No, moranic. No, tea party-ish.

  22. 22
    BGinCHI says:

    The most fundamental FAIL here is that they are convinced that at a rally for a Dem Congresswoman who was shot and was then fighting for her life, Obama would need an Applause sign.

    They can’t admit/imagine that a popular President speaking at a memorial would get applause.

    I feel dirty just trying to imagine being that stupid.

  23. 23
    Jody says:

    Ya know, I’m used to the rightards being impervious to reality, but when you toss out these kinds of examples it never fails to just scare the shit out of me.

    If you ever need proof that these assholes are in a bubble of their own delusions, look no further.

  24. 24
    Ash Can says:

    @Drouse: That would be some damned tech call: “Now, are you sure there are batteries in the remote? Are they installed correctly?…OK, nevermind, try this. Point the remote at the TV…no, not at yourself. You’re holding it upside down. Point it at the TV…no, the TV… No, not the computer, the TV…”

  25. 25
  26. 26
    Mike Kay says:

    This is gonna be worse than Watergate.

    Some winger found a photo of Bill Daley personally giving the Tucson audience instructions.

    http://www.corbisimages.com/im.....0BACME.jpg

  27. 27
    Mike Kay says:

    @BGinCHI:

    They can’t admit/imagine that a popular Black President speaking at a memorial would get applause.

    /fixed

  28. 28
    funluvn says:

    (W)hiskey (T)ango (F)oxtrot, Ed? Et tu? Malkin must have video of you with a farm animal in order to make you write shit you know is completely bullshit insane.

  29. 29
    BGinCHI says:

    @Mike Kay: Even worse, the Cubs still lost.

  30. 30
    freelancer says:

    @Kryptik:

    [DOOR CLOSES]

    Well, I guess I gotta get up and close the door.

    (One hour later…)

    [TOILET FLUSHES]

    I knew I forgot to do something!

    [MOLOTOV BOTTLE BREAKS, ROOM BURNS, FIRE CRACKLING]

    I don’t know what happened officer, I was just watching TV when my house started on fire?!

  31. 31
    Loneoak says:

    Why would anyone need closed captioning, anyway? Don’t they speak American? Soshillists.

  32. 32
    BGinCHI says:

    @funluvn: Think how the farm animal feels.

  33. 33
    nancydarling says:

    Listening to Washington Journal this AM while doing chores and some woman called in to warn us that the Native American blessing that opened the memorial was actually a curse that he was putting on America.

  34. 34
    Mark S. says:

    But one thing on which we can all agree is that that the White House wrote the speech, and apparently added “applause” indicators into Obama’s speech that the university put on the Jumbotron in their captioning for the audience Ed Morrisey is actually dumber than Jim Hoft, which I didn’t think was possible.

  35. 35
    Gustopher says:

    Can we have these people neutered? I’m willing to pitch in some money to the Ignorant Pundit Vasectomy Fund.

  36. 36
    cleek says:

    Ed knows he’s gotta run with every bit of drooling lunacy that the wingnuts think up or he’ll lose his hits. and then it’s no more wingnut welfare for him!

  37. 37
    LP says:

    Shorter Ed:

    How could they be “closed captions” for deaf people when I can see them? and I’m not deaf, by the way!!

  38. 38
    RosiesDad says:

    @Angry Black Lady:

    There is no spoon.

    Maybe sticking a fork in his eye, after it fails to pick up his Maypo, is what makes him cranky.

    Site looks great, John. It was all fucked up on my laptop this morning but whatever was ailing it now appears to be fixed. (Safari 5.0.3)

  39. 39
    Mark S. says:

    My First Amendment rights are being violated by the moderation filter.

  40. 40
    BGinCHI says:

    My comment at #32 got moderation.

    WTF?

  41. 41
    Tim I says:

    @funluvn:

    You got it all wrong. She promised to give him video of herself with a farm animal, if he could pull this mega-bullshit off.

  42. 42
    Maude says:

    @BGinCHI:
    I had 2 comments in moderation in the Levin post. Never happened before.
    May be a bug.

  43. 43
    jrg says:

    Wow. It’s amazing that S,N! isn’t all over this. I guess some right-wing blather is so moronic they won’t even touch it.

  44. 44
    Danno says:

    Same old song and dance. They pulled the exact same stunt over the Paul Wellstone memorial closed captioning.

  45. 45
    Mgordon says:

    In all fairness to Special Ed, I have heard Barack is a “Magic Negro” so theoretically he could manipulate space and time. It’s kinda like the same powers he uses to be a secret radical Muslim love child of Malcolm X. You don’t realize this cause his powers only work on libtards.

  46. 46
    matoko_chan says:

    Capn Stupid is just a little less subtle Very Own Feedlot Management, EDK.
    They are both drench feeding the GOP base the same recycled conservative cowshit.
    How is Ed bad and EDK good enuff to be frontpaged at BJ?

  47. 47
    Villago Delenda Est says:

    This is what drives me absolutely bonkers about the wingnutosphere.

    It’s the unrelenting stupid, which burns so much.

  48. 48
    Brian H says:

    Actor James Urbaniak has been all over this, via his Twitter feed, this Tumblr:

    http://jamesurbaniak.tumblr.co.....l-george-w

  49. 49

    John, as I wrote in a previous thread, this has got to be your go to video. You Can’t Fix Stupid. The first stunt pretty much explains it all.

  50. 50

    These people believe CC serves two purposes:
    1. You can keep watching TV after your mom has told you to turn it off and go to bed.
    2. To keep track of the color commentary when a game is running on the bar’s TV.

    They really have no idea it is intended for the deaf/hearing impaired and regularly updated based on input from the intended users. [Applause] is one of these enhancements. So are things like [Music Plays] or [Doorbell Rings]. I’m sure the fucknuggets will develop a conspiracy theory for that as well. (Deaf people can’t hear those things! Therefore there must not be any deaf people and ASL is secret terrist code!11)

  51. 51
    Warren Terra says:

    How do these people make it through the day without stabbing themselves in the eye with a spoon when they eat?

    Well, if they eat through the same orifice out of which they talk, the answer is that the spoon stays safely near their nether regions and never approaches their head.

  52. 52
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @Thoughtful Black Co-Citizen: As well as to tell me what the birds are saying. Seriously, in one movie, the birds were provided with dialogue through the CC. It was hilarious.

    I think I may poke my own eyes out with my rusty pitchfork after reading this stupidity. How hard is it to say, “It was CC, people. We fucked up” and leave it at that?

    @Warren Terra: You wins!

  53. 53
    Cat Lady says:

    @Jody:

    What did all of these fucking morans do before they could comment to each other on the intertubes? I don’t remember that many shoeless people wandering around with their pants on backwards muttering nonsense in public.

  54. 54

    @jrg:

    Maybe they’re waiting for BS III, Return of the BS. Someone is bound to spy on some deaf people and breathlessly report that when they watch TV at home they DON’T APPLAUD when it is noted by CCing.

  55. 55
    Woodrowfan says:

    some of these same people in 2008 were convinced that Obama had designed his own flag and was flying ti at events instead of the US flag! (it was actually the state flag of Ohio)

  56. 56

    I don’t think you guys understand how serial this is. Listen to this President shamelessly encourage people to cheer and cry aloud in triumph after a national tragedy:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7OCgMPX2mE

    Has he no respect for the dead? Is this anyway to memorialize those who died? SHAME.

  57. 57
    Ed Marshall says:

    Oh, well, Ed figured it out, but he is still bothered by the “tone”. WTF does that even mean?

  58. 58
    efgoldman says:

    @Hunter Gathers:

    If half the energy spent doing so was redirected, we would have hyperdrives by now.

    Yes, but they’d only turn to the right. {/rimshot]
    Never happen, since they don’t believe in science. Or maybe they think some FSM pixie dust would make it work. [/another rimshot]

  59. 59
    liberty60 says:

    @freelancer:
    I settled down to enjoy a relaxing evening of tee-vee last night.
    I dutifully provided [APPLAUSE] and [LAUGHTER] as directed, but when it got to the part of [GUNSHOTS] and [HYSTERICAL SCREAMING] I think I freaked out my dog just a bit.

  60. 60
    efgoldman says:

    @Roger Moore:

    What makes you think they’ve advanced to the point of using utensils to eat? A better question is how they avoid biting their own fingers.

    Silly! They don’t have any teeth.

    [Yes I know its a cheapshot. They have done it: They have drug me down to their level where I just don’t give a shit any damned more.]

  61. 61
    Rhoda says:

    Awesome. Scripted applause, it’s the new telepromter.

  62. 62
    SteveinSC says:

    It’s actually the Dumbo-tron, which explains a lot. It is also sort of like that idiot who came out of the Safeway store, took a gander, drew conclusions out of the “brain” appropriate to a “gun-totter” and nearly shot one of the victims.

    Damn, this site is slick now. I’m no longer embarassed to show my friends!

  63. 63
    frankdawg says:

    these people are not stupid but they are counting on their readers/listeners to be stupid. Sadly, they are.

  64. 64
    efgoldman says:

    @pablo:

    Send me the Head of Bernard Herrmann

    From the link.
    Maybe one of the funniest seven-word phrases I have ever read. Thank you.

  65. 65

    Just a small note: the White House transcripts always uses parentheses around the word “applause” to indicate where it happened. The scrolling text at the Arizona memorial uses brackets. This is actual evidence the scrolling text did not come from the White House (except that the White House wrote the speech, Barack Obama delivered it, and the closed captioner created the captions that were scrolling).

  66. 66
    Legalize says:

    I’m not aware of any evidence indicating that these people are capable of using utensils for eating. I think they have to wear water wings to avoid drowning when they eat soup.

  67. 67
    Brachiator says:

    Watch your own damned video- do you think Obama broke space and time to have the crowd applaud BEFORE the [applause] appeared on the Jumbotron?

    Careful. You have discovered how Obama could go back in time and send a birth announcement to the Hawaii newspapers even though he was obviously born somewhere between Kenya and the planet Vulcan.

    Man, these goons put the “stup” in stupid.

  68. 68
    efgoldman says:

    @The Grand Panjandrum:

    Actually, you CAN fix stupid.
    Its called “natural selection.”
    Although it may not work on the GOBPtards, because they don’t believe in it.

  69. 69
    efgoldman says:

    @Cat Lady:

    I don’t remember that many shoeless people wandering around with their pants on backwards muttering nonsense in public.

    Go back to the thread on mental health care earlier in the week. They were kept in asylums.

  70. 70
    efgoldman says:

    @Brachiator:

    Careful. You have discovered how Obama could go back in time and send a birth announcement to the Hawaii newspapers even though he was obviously born somewhere between Kenya and the planet Vulcan.

    Well, damn. That explains those ears that the editorial cartoonists glommed on to.

  71. 71
    AnotherBruce says:

    @efgoldman: (Slaps forehead) No wonder Reagan emptied the asylums back in the 80s, he knew they would be reliable republican voters!

  72. 72
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Ed Marshall:

    Oh, well, Ed figured it out, but he is still bothered by the “tone”. WTF does that even mean?

    I think he means that it was uncivil of us to point out that he’s a fucking moron.

  73. 73
    Svensker says:

    @Brian H:

    Ha ha ha.

  74. 74
    Barb (formerly Gex) says:

    @Kryptik: Oh my god, you just reminded me of a great story. A Republican friend of my GF’s used to complain that the 6 PM Malcolm in the Middle was always in Spanish. Speak English, DAMMIT!

    We told her to turn off SAP.

  75. 75
    Zifnab says:

    @Ed Marshall:

    Oh, well, Ed figured it out, but he is still bothered by the “tone”. WTF does that even mean?

    He would prefer if the President didn’t sound so urban during his speech. Also, he was offended by the presence of a non-white President.

  76. 76
    Zifnab says:

    @efgoldman:

    Although it may not work on the GOBPtards, because they don’t believe in it birth control.

    Sadly, intelligence just isn’t able to out-breed stupid. The best we can hope for is Glenn Beck to talk all the wing-tards into castrating themselves so Obama can’t steal their precious bodily fluids.

  77. 77
    Ed Drone says:

    @Gustopher:

    Can we have these people neutered?

    I think it’s time. It’s obvious that we can no longer rely on their personalities for birth control.

    Ed

  78. 78
    noncarborundum says:

    You have discovered how Obama could go back in time and send a birth announcement to the Hawaii newspapers even though he was obviously born somewhere between Kenya and the planet Vulcan.

    And I’ve heard it seriously maintained that Obama’s election was responsible for a recession that started nearly a year before he was elected. Now it makes perfect sense.

  79. 79
    Roger Moore says:

    @Gustopher:

    I’m willing to pitch in some money to the Ignorant Pundit Vasectomy Emasculation Fund.

    FTFY.

  80. 80
    efgoldman says:

    @Barb (formerly Gex):

    I know I’m old, but am I imagining that the term “conservative intellectual” was once not a self-refuting joke?

  81. 81
    daryljfontaine says:

    @asiangrrlMN: My favorite CC anomalies are always where scripted CC differs from final presentation. In particular, I can remember a Simpsons episode where some of the opening jokes in the CC made very pointed jabs at Disney, but the final dubbed-in dialog was a more generic, less lawyer-provoking joke.

    Another one I remember is an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where the episode ended on an external pullback from a house shot, where the music swelled and you couldn’t hear the conversation the characters inside were having… but the captions dutifully recorded the original scripted conversation.

    With live captions it’s always amusing to see how captioners “play it by ear” in a way which is definitely not the words spoken by the character. “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” writ large.

    The Obama Imperative for [APPLAUSE] was actually a misunderstood demand for [APPLESAUCE]. Prez was hungry.

    D

  82. 82
    Arclite says:

    IT WAS CLOSED CAPTIONING, YOU CLOWN. YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

    Fixed.

  83. 83
    LT says:

    Driscoll says at one point somethng llike “How did they know to put the space for the word applause?” My god, what an idiot.

  84. 84
    jcricket says:

    Given the state of these clowns, and Sarah Palin’s tone-deaf response to the AZ shootings and so on, I am reminded of the famous SNL quote from “Michael Dukakis”: “I can’t believe I’m losing to this guy

  85. 85
    Wag says:

    An additional reason for the closed captioning might be that so many people wanted to attend the service that the arena filled, forcing thousands more to watch via jumbotron from the adjoining football stadium. The closed captioning allowed everyone to be included.

    But then again, inclusiveness is a liburel idea that shouldn’t be tolerated.

  86. 86
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Angry Black Lady:

    Yes there is.

  87. 87
    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal says:

    Along these lines, why does my computer give me a message telling me that I’ve plugged a device into the audio jack? I know that already, Microsoft, because I plugged the damned thing in.

  88. 88
    matoko_chan says:

    @Cole.
    have you considered……two can play that Lincoln game?
    EDK is catching your heart with a honey drop, and then shitting all over your front page, dumbass.

  89. 89
    feebog says:

    But one thing on which we can all agree is that that the White House wrote the speech, and apparently added “applause” indicators into Obama’s speech that the university put on the Jumbotron in their captioning for the audience.

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned it yet, but this sounds like a substantial and serious issue for a Darrell Issa investigation.

  90. 90
    Barb (formerly Gex) says:

    @efgoldman: It’s not so much that they can’t be intellectual. They just think power and wealth are more important. Any intellectual horse power they have gets routed into those activities and not into learning anything else.

  91. 91
    Jody says:

    Cat Lady:

    Simple. They’d just take their anger issues out on the nearest brown person/woman/more-effeminate-man. In their eyes being a peasant is fine so long as they have someone else to step on. Partly because they figure said stepping-stone will help elevate them into the class of elites they so slavishly look up to.

    It’s the American Dream fueled by the worst aspects of our nature.

  92. 92

    @August J. Pollak:

    Yeah, check this one out:

    How do we know this tape hasn’t had the audio cut and re-pasted for the “appearance of the [APPLAUSE] sign” after the applause started?

    Who are these people? How do they come up with this shit? Jesus Christ himself come come back tomorrow and tell wingnuts that they’re a bunch of brainless assholes, and that Obama isn’t some 3rd rate James Bond bad guy, and they’d trample each other to death to be the one who gets to crucify him. Jesus, that is. Well, they’d trrample each other to crucify Obama, too, but that wasn’t my point. I don’t know if I have a point. I’m tired and freezing my ass off in a house where we haven’t had any heat since 1:00 yesterday afternoon, so maybe I should give up now and go to bed.

    To end on a happier note, I see that Lorna hasn’t been around in the last few days.

  93. 93
    RalfW says:

    Morrisey and anyone who tries to spread this meme should be roundly mocked for never having sat with a single old person while they watched TV. Has Ed no shame in admitting that he’s blown off the invitations from his uncle to watch some football or an old western?
    Isn’t he ashamed to admit he’s never visited his mom in the senior community in Scotsdale, where the TVs are loud but the closed captioning is on too?
    Mock him for his lack of sympathy for the old!

  94. 94
    Chaz says:

    @Kryptik:
    They think the button on the remote labeled “CC” is so you can send what is on the screen to someone else; the “SAP” button is just an insult.

  95. 95
    GBC says:

    @August J. Pollak:

    My good God, that’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. Thanks for catching that, and for your humble assessment ;-p

    Bravo.

  96. 96

    @GambitRF: no, I’m pretty sure Biden was washing his Trans-Am out in the parking lot. ;-)

  97. 97
    Johann says:

    Is it really news that Morrissey is one of the larger clowns abroad. Any larger and they could inflate him and use him in Macy’s parade.

  98. 98
    HelloEarth says:

    So if you go to Hot Air and read the actual article. You see that he admits that the whole ‘applause’ thing was a big mistake. So instead of just erasing it and acting like it never happened, he lets everyone know he messed up. So someone who writes tons of articles makes a mistake from time to time. Big deal. Why is everyone getting so worked up about this?

  99. 99
    Mr. Blink says:

    @RosiesDad:

    Site looks great, John. It was all fucked up on my laptop this morning but whatever was ailing it now appears to be fixed. (Safari 5.0.3)

    I think “Safari” is what is fucked up on your laptop…

Comments are closed.