Open Thread: Snark of the Day

This is to give y’all a place to chat, so that I can put up an “Artists In Our Midst” post that actually gives the artists & crafters free rein to show off.

Also too, because the latest from ‘The Editors’ at Esquire is too good not to share:

Given the current economic situation, and the apparent affection that our only president has for the people who created it, and for those who, in response, would shred what’s left of the social safety net, we’re all going to be in the market for handy tips on new ways to feed ourselves. So, remember, class: When clubbing the halibut, make sure you club the halibut right between the eyes, so as not to bruise the meat.
This is only one of the many helpful things you can learn from Sarah Palin’s Alaska, a new reality show that is something like The Beverly Hillbillies with glaciers. And, we suspect, the show is helpful in other ways as well. After all, we imagine that, in the darkened hovels in which lonely Palin enthusiasts live sexless lives replete with unacknowledged genius and Stouffer’s pot pies, “clubbing the halibut” has developed rich new meaning.
It has been quite a month for our magical snowbilly princess, and that’s not even mentioning the fact that her Alaska is now neck-and-neck with Mississippi as the gonorrhea capital of America…

Click thru for more lulz, also illustrations.

39 replies
  1. 1
    Cat Lady says:

    How ’bout we teach halibut to tweet, and club Sarah Palin between the eyes? Also.

  2. 2
    Karen says:

    I don’t know if this would go on Open Thread but, to those who observe it, Happy Chanukah! Hope you eat lots of latkes. (potato pancakes)

  3. 3
    DonkeyKong says:

    “clubbing the halibut”, I haz a laff.

  4. 4
    Joe Beese says:

    [[ … the Obama Administration is said to be further escalating its air war in Afghanistan, and officials are confirming a “loosening of the reins” of the restrictions on air strikes. Officials warned that the McChrystal rules, aimed at reducing civilian deaths, meant “some officers were exerting excessive caution, fearing career damage if civilians were mistakenly killed.” With Petraeus now in charge, concerns about killing civilians have faded. ]]

    … many American officials are now systematically dismissing any testimony of Afghan civilians deaths that come from … actual Afghan civilians. Indeed, the Marine commander of the violent Helmand district of Sangin says that “every single instance” of civilian deaths in his district is caused by the Taliban — despite a flood of complaints from locals about American berserkery since taking over control of the district from the British.

    [[ …tribal elders regularly complain to the Marines about the killings. Officials said no investigations would be taken on the basis of the elders complaints, and said the fact that the elders haven’t been killed by the Taliban was “proof” that they were in league with the Taliban and the complaints were a trick.]]

    So there you have it, the essence of humanitarian war as waged by Nobel Peace Laureates in the 21st century: The fact that you’re not dead yet proves you are an enemy.


    Not that this is as important as tax cuts or anything.

  5. 5
    Jeffro says:

    *Memorizing ESQUIRE rant to recite at watercooler tomorrow

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Sophist says:

    Be careful. If you club the halibut too often you’ll get scaly palms.

  8. 8
    The Dangerman says:

    Ed Rollins lit up Sarah the Barracuda in a CNN Op Ed today; 24 hours after Morning Joe. The big guns are firing for her.

    I won’t like to Rollin’s article, but this one from Pravda is priceless; a sample quote:

    If anything is a threat to the national security of the United States of America, it is this screaming, unrefined oaf with as much class as a searing release of flatulence followed by hysterical giggling at a state banquet. Is this what the people of the USA deserve?

    I know, I know, it’s Russia; Wolverines!

  9. 9
    Alex S. says:

    In other Palin-related news:

    Sarah forced Bristol to do DWTS

    Also, this is today’s 19th post, wow…

  10. 10
    Hal says:

    Well, we know Obama doesn’t eat Halibut. Only free swimming Salmon accompanied by a side of Argula and your finest Dry Riesling.

  11. 11

    I’ve been to Alaska and fished halibut… it’s a lot like how you’d imagine pulling a piece of plywood off the bottom of the ocean with a piece of wire would be. Though sometimes they shoot the plywood between the eyes with a 22 (didn’t witness clubbing).

    However, it was pretty awesome how fresh and tasty the meat was… even after the trip back east… thanks to vacuum sealing and flash freezing.

  12. 12

    Yesterday, I posted this on the tail end of an open thread that had already been abandoned. I’m mentioning it again in the hopes of getting a little sympathy from the BJ petlovers.

    Al, my constant companion through some rough times, seemed to be sick on Monday. He seemed weak and unsteady when I let him out in the morning. Later that day, he refused to eat. I took him to the vet the next day. An hour later, I was comforting him while the vet’s assistant gave him an overdose of sedatives. It all happened way too fast.

    Ever since, I’ve been looking for him when I get out of my chair. It’s habit for any pet lover unless they want to trip and fall over their pet. The house seems awful empty today.

    I’ve outlived a lot of pets over the years. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get any easier.

  13. 13
    Hal says:

    Ed Rollins lit up Sarah the Barracuda in a CNN Op Ed today; 24 hours after Morning Joe. The big guns are firing for her.

    That’s so depressing. She might actually not make it to 2012. Clearly Republicans smart enough to know can figure out she won’t be a threat to Obama in 2012.

    That is, if he’s not primaried by Rachel Maddow! Dun, dun, dun!

  14. 14
    Lev says:

    Two things:

    1. The Quaid family is really, really insane.

    2. A fellow Juicer (yours truly) has just joined a new group blog. Check it out here.

  15. 15
    Jan says:

    “The Beverly Hillbillies with glaciers” is wonderful.

  16. 16
    Wiesman says:

    Did Tom Friedman accidentally write a good column today?;src=me

  17. 17
    Matt says:

    I just got home so I’m not sure if this was mentioned already, but I saw that the Democrats fucked up the new FDA bill and it’s going to have to start over in the House. So embarrassing.

  18. 18
    geg6 says:

    @John – A Motley Moose:

    {Hugs} are headed your way, John. I’m so sorry for your loss. Our Henry, I know, will be soon taking the same journey and I will spend months, if not years, checking to see where he is before getting out of bed (a real feat when I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night).

  19. 19
    freelancer says:

    @Alex S.:

    Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly (in the circles that I heard it from) for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol she “owed” it to her to do DWTS so that “America would fall in love with her again” and make it possible for Sarah Palin to run in 2012 with America behind her all the way. Instead of being supposedly “handicapped” by the presence of her teen mom daughter, now Bristol is going to be an “asset” – a celebrity beloved for her dancing.

    Yes, Bristol Palin is the reason Obama won. The mind reels.

  20. 20
  21. 21
    gogol's wife says:

    @John – A Motley Moose:

    I’m really sorry. That’s a shock. Just remember what a great life you gave him. He knew you loved him.

  22. 22
    Alex S. says:


    anyone but her… she is the victim, always.

  23. 23
    debit says:

    @John – A Motley Moose: I’m so sorry, and no, it never gets any easier. You did the right thing, but that’s cold comfort, I know.

  24. 24
    Dick Move says:

    “All I said was ‘that piece of halibut was good enough for Jehova’.”

  25. 25
    Comrade Luke says:

    @John – A Motley Moose:

    I’m sorry for your loss, John. Hang in there…

  26. 26
    debit says:

    @Dick Move: Stone him!

  27. 27
  28. 28
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @John – A Motley Moose: I am so sorry about your loss. I have two kittehs and I can’t even imagine what life would be like without them.

  29. 29
    geg6 says:


    Yeah, seems their side is batshit crazy but get everything done that they want. Even when ours actually do a good thing (having been a victim of the national spinach e coli poisoning a few years ago, I’m invested in this issue), they are too incompetent to get it done despite getting it passed. Unfuckingbelievable.

    I can’t take any more politics. I’m going to kick back and watch some of my favorite reality tv. Top Chef All Stars starts tonight and I will be glued to the screen after indulging in something some people in some states can use for medical reasons. My medical reason would be my mental health.

  30. 30
    slag says:

    Nicely done, Anne Laurie!

  31. 31
    Citizen_X says:

    @freelancer: The most horrifying part of that article? The last line:

    ‘Dancing’ producers are reportedly trying once again to get Todd Palin to sign on for next season, which may coincide with the 2012 presidential campaign.


  32. 32
    Anne Laurie says:

    @John – A Motley Moose: I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve lost your ‘constant companion’, John. You’re right, it never gets easier… but all the good memories you made together will help you get through this bad time, too. And someday it will be a small consolation that Al didn’t suffer unneccesarily, and that you could help him leave the pain behind…

  33. 33
    freelancer says:


    You mean there’s not gonna be a DWTS for 2 whole years? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

  34. 34
    BethanyAnne says:

    Boss (bit of a winger) was crowing about how Assange was going to be assassinated soon. Because “what he did was illegal”. I said “So? He’s not a US citizen, why would he care?” Boss: “He leaked classified documents; that’s illegal.” Me: “G.W. Bush broke Sweden’s torture laws, and I don’t see him worrying about them declaring him a war criminal.” Boss:”You don’t want to go there. This conversation is over.” Then he stalked off. /sigh. I have been trying to keep my mouth shut, and totally blew it today.

  35. 35
    Skepticat says:

    @John – A Motley Moose: My heart breaks for you. Instead of a little sympathy, please accept a great deal of it, an amount commensurate with your love for Al. Fast, slow–no, it’s never easy. Hell, it’s barely possible.

  36. 36
    trollhattan says:

    @John – A Motley Moose:

    Very sorry to hear this. You have my best wishes during this tough time. I find it helps to pet and scritch every critter that lets me. At least the warm-blooded ones.

  37. 37
    trollhattan says:

    @ Anne Laurie

    Thanks for the Esquire link, I’d not read them before but I will now. Snarkilicious. Were they the first to call a Murkowski independent run? (Aug 25)

    Also, too, my brain nearly exploded last night when I stumbled across this on my teevee.

    Can’t begin to describe how weird it is, or what it’s doing on my teevee to begin with.

  38. 38
    WarMunchkin says:

    So, why did Julian Assange not want to wear a condom? Because apparently he thinks they leak…


    what's my PRIZE

  39. 39
    Nutella says:

    My favorite bit from the Esquire article is about Palin’s love for states rights: ‘this level of government was so precious to Sarah Palin that she literally “ran away” from a position to which a sovereign people had elected her in order to make money beating fish to death on television.’

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