Fox Nation Posts Excerpt from an Article Published by The Onion; Is an Asshat

If you haven’t heard of The Onion, you’re dead to me.1

Considering Fox News is Faux News, it’s no wonder that Fox Nation cannot differentiate between fake news and real news, and it’s no wonder that Fox News Teat Sucklers can’t either.2

Here’s a bit of the article posted at The Onion; it’s entitled Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail, and seriously? — If you can’t tell that the article is satire, even upon a cursory reading, then there’s probably a village that has already filed a missing persons report because it is wondering where the hell you are:

Having admittedly “reached the end of [his] rope,” President Barack Obama sent a rambling 75,000-word e-mail to the entire nation Wednesday, revealing deep frustrations with America’s political culture, his presidency, U.S. citizens, and himself.

Excerpts indicate an erratic use of capitalized and underlined words, with the phrase “Stopped a second Great Depression” mentioned 14 times in a bolded red font double the size of surrounding text. In addition, the e-mail contained multiple links to the Wikipedia entry for Social Security and line graphs of Ronald Reagan’s year-by-year approval ratings.

Because Obama copied and pasted some critical passages directly from right-wing editorials and personal blogs, the e-mail included formatting irregularities that caused many citizens to receive a message in which all of the apostrophes were replaced with question marks. Moreover, some software flagged it as spam.

I don?t mean to be rude, but I thought we were all on the samepage about helath care reform,” the 29th paragraph of Obama’s e-mail read in part. “It was part of my platform. You all knew I was goingt o pursue it when you elected me. And just real fast, going back on what I said earlier, the economic stimulus cut taxes for 95% of Americans. It didn’t raise them. It cut them. You people need to look at facts and stop litnening to all the right wing crap out there. By the way, we’re basically out of Iraq now. You?re welcome.

JESUS CHRIST, WE LOST OVER @ MILLION JOBS BEFOREE I EVEN TOOK OFFICE!!!11!” reads a sentence occupying a large white space between two massive chunks of texts, one of which was a 6,500-word tangent on the Muslim community center being built two blocks from the former World Trade Center site.

According to White House sources, Obama “snapped” late Tuesday afternoon when a staffer reminded him he was scheduled to take a call from incoming Speaker of the House John Boehner. At that point, a visibly disgusted Obama was observed slowly repeating the words “House Speaker Boehner” before ordering everyone to leave the Oval Office, where he sat typing and, according to some, banging angrily on his keyboard for the next five hours.

Mediaite was able to grab some of the comments before the post was taken down:

“If this story is correct, that he did send out this email, it is very concerning about his current state of mental health. I am surprised he would be allowed to send something like this out and if he is not functioning very well why there isn’t some attention being paid to his current state.”

“Hey, you fraud: Get out. Your presidency is an affront to the exceptionalism of America. Pathetic loser.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHA OBUMMA – Un-raveled. EPIC FAILURE. IMPEACH it.3

Our childrens isn’t learning.

1 Unless you are foreign or don’t have eyes. If you don’t have eyes, though, you probably aren’t reading this. I just offended blind people, didn’t I? I’m sorry, blind people. Some of my best friends are blind. Stevie Wonder is one of my favorite artists. He’s blind AND black, so clearly, I’m neither ableist nor racist.

2 Yes, I know there is supposed to be some difference between Fox News and FoxNation.com. No, I don’t care what it is. They’re all asshats.

3 I’m incorporating this phrase into my lexicon. “IMPEACH it.” “It’s already been IMPEACHED, yo.” (“Bring it!” is so early aughts, don’t you think?)

[via Mediaite; image via Gawker]

[I’m still on “vacation,” but I really couldn’t let this one pass.]

[cross-posted at ABLC]






104 replies
  1. 1

    I’m running with the theory that either the folks at Fox Nation are too dense to get the satire of The Onion, or they get it but know that their readers are so gullible and believe anything that they post that they would fall for it anyway.

  2. 2
    General Stuck says:

    The Fox News Zombies need fresh meat, doesn’t matter where it comes from or if it is true. Long as it bleeds it leads.

  3. 3
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Too funny! I saw something about this earlier today at Media Matters or News Hounds or somewhere, and was hoping you (ABL) would grab and run with it.

    Yeah, the satire pretty well advertises itself with sirens and whirling red alarm lights and flashing neon arrows saying SATIRE SATIRE SATIRE. How anyone above the mental age of 9 can take it seriously is well beyond my ken.

  4. 4
    trollhattan says:

    Wicked smaaat. Please, nobody tell the Fox Folks this is coming. I’d love to read the freakout over the new competitor news network in January.

    http://www.mediabistro.com/tvn.....ary_b40654

  5. 5
    Breezeblock says:

    Wow.
    Just.

    Wow.

  6. 6
    Sentient Puddle says:

    The story was up for a while, which was amusing. First, they rejiggered the headline to read “The Onion: Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail”. Because, y’know, it wasn’t clear that it was from The Onion just by that link at the bottom that said “Read the full story at theonion.com”.

    Now, the story is completely gone.

    I think it’s clear that Fox had no idea what The Onion was, and totally fucked up the damage control afterwards.

  7. 7
    Sir Nose'D says:

    The Onion used to be satire, but this story has to be true. After all, Obama has to be losing it after his stomping by the GOP in the midterms! Right? I mean, this is like when the Beatles hid little clues in their albums to let their fans know Paul McCartney was dead. The Onion has to put some true news in sometimes for THE SAME REASON!!!

    Oh shit, man…what was in that pumpkin pie I just ate?

  8. 8
    Rob says:

    “It’s been im-Peached like a Princess in another castle!”

    In before Nintendo trademarks it

  9. 9
    ploeg says:

    Fox News wishes that they had the credibility of The Onion.

  10. 10
    kdaug says:

    “Dude, you have no impeach!”

  11. 11
    Arclite says:

    I read somewhere that a certain percentage of the population is incapable of discerning satire from the real thing. Apparently, they all work at Fox…

  12. 12

    Loved the story. Better than fiction!

    I read somewhere that on the comments to the story, commenter #61 or so was the first person to realize that it came from The Onion. Ant that made the story even better.

  13. 13
    The Dangerman says:

    Considering their target audience has the collective intellect of Beavis and Butthead combined, it was perfect for them.

    “Onion said Obama bad; he he he he he.”

    “Yeah, bad; fire, fire, fire him”

    “That would be cool, no hot; he he he he he.”

  14. 14
    MobiusKlein says:

    I’ll let you know that blind people have been using computers for many, many years. Before they started MoveOn, Wes Boyd and Joan Blades started Berkeley Systems.
    Other than the screen savers (flying toasters) they wrote software that would enable blind and vision impaired folks use computers.

    Back in 1991 or something like that.

  15. 15
    Brachiator says:

    I read somewhere that a certain percentage of the population is incapable of discerning satire from the real thing. Apparently, they all work at watch Fox….

    Fixed.

    I bet on a stack of Snopes urban legends that this “story” will end up in a chain email before the holiday weekend is over.

  16. 16
    mclaren says:

    It’s perfectly understandable, since the difference between satire and reality has disappeared — as the various crackpot commenters on Balloon-Juice show so clearly.

    The response to statements of fact and logical arguments on this forum is “You’re insane!” or “We need to get him a hooker.” When this is what passes for reasoned discourse on a political blog like this which is supposedly focused around discussing real issues in the real world of public policy, why do you expect anything better from the mainstream media?

    Only a matter of time before we see Fox News headlines like OBAMA GOES INSANE AND CLAIMS UNEMPLOYMENT TOO HIGH and TREASURY SECRETARY BLASTS DEFICIT REDUCTION EFFORTS DURING A MAJOR RECESSION, HE MUST NEED A HOOKER.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    A Humble Net Lurker says:

    @mclaren:

    It’s perfectly understandable, since the difference between satire and reality has disappeared—as the various crackpot commenters on Balloon-Juice show so clearly.

    It’s become self-aware.

  19. 19

    @mclaren:

    It’s perfectly understandable, since the difference between satire and reality has disappeared—as the various crackpot commenters on Balloon-Juice show so clearly.

    how does this make sense, exactly? you’re equating a bunch of folks commenting on a blog with a media outlet?

    um…

    what?

  20. 20
    mds says:

    I love the one in the pic titled “Common Man Obama Has a Live-In Pastry Chef.” Yeah, unlike all those previous Presidents of the United States who exclusively ate cold beans from cans and blocks of that welfare cheese. Great Cthulu, but it really does gall them that one of those young bucks is squatting in the White House. “Oooh, lookit him, with chefs and everything. Who does he think he is?”

  21. 21
    nitpicker says:

    Don’t forget: Fox is known for running invented articles.

  22. 22
    Mike in NC says:

    @Arclite:

    I read somewhere that a certain percentage of the population is incapable of discerning satire from the real thing. Apparently, they all work at Fox…

    And they think Stephen Colbert is almost as cool as Glenn Beck.

  23. 23
    Max Power says:

    (wingnut START): Libruls try to deny reality !11!! What part of “America’s finest news source” isn’t clear to you? (END wingnut)

  24. 24
    JGabriel says:

    How to tell the difference between a liberal and a conservative:

    Conservatives often believe that a satire of Liberals is the truth; Liberals often believe that a true story about Conservatives must be a satire.

    .

  25. 25
    Ken says:

    A wise man said that all satire and irony is a joke shared between the speaker and the listener at the expense of a hypothetical dupe, a third person dull enough to accept it at literal value.

    The art form becomes somewhat more difficult when the hypothetical dupe is no longer hypothetical.

  26. 26
    Tara the antisocial social worker says:

    Some years ago, some “family values” group (sorry, I’ve forgotten which one) prepared a report on how those scary GLBT people are out to recruit your kids via sex education programs in school. The centerpiece of their report was the classic Gay Recruitment Drive Nears Goal story from the Onion. Apparently they seriously thought schools were showing kids a film called “Breeders Are Boring.”

  27. 27
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @The Dangerman:

    I believe that Beavis & Butt-head are far more intelligent than any Fox viewer out there. Hell, their music video reviews were far beyond the comprehension of any Fox viewer. Same with their mastery and understanding of the English language, something that the average Fox viewer struggles with on a daily basis.

    I think you owe Beavis & Butt-head an apology.

    heh heh heh…

  28. 28
    JGabriel says:

    @Ken:

    The art form [of satire] becomes somewhat more difficult when the hypothetical dupe is no longer hypothetical.

    I think that just makes it funnier.

    And more tragic.

    OR

    I think that just makes it more tragic.

    And funnier.

    .

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Mike G says:

    Rightards are clueless when it comes to humor, like most most-spirited ideologues, hence their dearth of comedians. They think Dennis Miller or Rush sneering and laughing at the powerless is funny.

    Of course, Fox News is so used to making shit up and their audience either unquestioningly believes it or doesn’t care as long as it fits their prejudices.

    Even if they publish a retraction, years from now half their audience will still be referencing this article as real.

  31. 31
    Karen says:

    Before I found out about Balloon Juice, I used to post facetious comments on Politico about how Obama was really a Martian and he’s setting the world up for a Martian invasion. I’m sure if I wrote an article about that now, Fox would “scoop” it.

    I think that Fox News is so automated that as long as the news is Democrat bad, Republican good, if there was an article stating that a Democrat woman got sexually assaulted by a Republican man, Fox would post it as “Evil Jezebel Democrat made a Saint Republican succomb to temptation.”

    Or if a Republican woman ran over and killed the child of a Democrat woman the article would be, “Stupid child of Democrat ruins godly Republican woman’s Astin Martin.” And Sarah Palin would be trashing the child for crossing the street when the Republican woman went through the red light.

  32. 32
    rikyrah says:

    I can’t see how anyone would be surprised. we know that they don’t deal in truth over there.

  33. 33
    parsimon says:

    @Sentient Puddle:

    I think it’s clear that Fox had no idea what The Onion was, and totally fucked up the damage control afterwards.

    This.

  34. 34
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Mike G:

    Some of Miller’s political stuff was good but I always thought that his brand of humor seemed to be a type of insider humor. You almost always had to know the nuances of the situation he was talking about to understand the point of the joke. I never thought it worked that well but it seems that his brand of humor works for wingnuts.

    You have to be in on the joke to understand him and boy are they all one big joke. No wonder they like him.

  35. 35
    JGabriel says:

    Mike G:

    Even if they publish a retraction, years from now half their audience will still be referencing this article as real.

    Unfortunately, probably not. Removing it from the site, as they have apparently done, means fewer people will see it, and it wont’ get broadcast over the usual Beck/Limbaugh/Hannity/O’Reilly megaphones.

    Maybe it’ll make its way into the conservative e-mail chain but, without further propagation on another outlet like World Nut Daily, that seems kind of unlikely too.

    .

  36. 36
    parsimon says:

    @JGabriel: But it’s more fun to run around shrieking, under the assumption that Fox never just fucks up, and is always insidiously spreading idiotic memes. Right?

  37. 37
    SpotWeld says:

    In their defense there used to be a time when a headline like “President Nearly Dies While Eating Salty Snack” or “President Dismisses Terror Assessment as CYA” certain parody headlines…

    Nah..

    Even taking that into account, they’re idiots.

  38. 38
    TK says:

    This… fills my heart with joy.

  39. 39
    Mike G says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    Miller pisses me off because I used to like his humor back in the 90s; I even went to a taping of his HBO show in 1999.

    Then he went full metal wingnut and his sardonic edge across the political spectrum soured into bitter and mean Republican ideology. He floundered for a few years until he realized his irony-impaired rightard audience was blinking with incomprehension at his obscure references from Tycho Brahe to Bella Abzug, and remade his act to sledgehammer-stupid Repig sycophancy and sneering at libruls.

  40. 40
    Rick Massimo says:

    I still like the fact that there is a Fox Nation, which apparently is where all the Real Americans hang out when America sucks, which it does even though it is The Greatest Country In Teh World EVAR.

  41. 41
    parsimon says:

    I confess I hadn’t realized there was a FoxNation.com; I’m afraid to look at it, but will probably have to at some point if only to determine whether it’s any different from, say, NRO/The Corner.

  42. 42
    jaleh says:

    Fox is not in the business of reporting the news but in reporting the views…

  43. 43
    mclaren says:

    @Angry Black Lady:

    Here’s a heads-up, since you seem to have been living in a bathysphere for the last 15 years.

    Blogs are media outlets.

    There is now no meaningful difference twixt old-fashioned media like broadcast news, and new net media like blogs. The broadcast news now takes its stories from blogs, and the blogs comment about (and sometimes break news concerning) the broadcast news.

    I know you’re not feeling well, but try to keep up. This is the 21st century. It’s not 1985 anymore.

  44. 44
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @Mike G:

    Meh, I’ll let the wingnuts have him. Miller’s political humor was good and he did know how to twist the verbal knife of a joke real well. In a way I think his humor was kind of ‘elitist’ and a bit high-brow, something that the right despises when it’s on the left but admires when it’s on ‘their side’. Or at least tries to…lol. You are right though, his stuff didn’t carry over well to Wingnutland and he eventually dumbed it down for his new audience.

    I heard a bit of him awhile back, can’t remember if it was the radio or the tube, and I thought he came across as just plain mean and stupid. More like some wanna-be jokester who wouldn’t stand a chance in a comedy club. Quite the contrast from his old material. I guess he knows what his audience wants and it ain’t humorous intellectual musings.

  45. 45
    General Stuck says:

    @mclaren:

    You sound kind of butthurt there mclaren. Lashing out the cruel world grade butthurt. Nobody here cares much.

  46. 46
    Yutsano says:

    @General Stuck: I detected more sardonic asshole, but I could be giving it too much credit. Plus bringing up ABL’s health is a massive low blow.

  47. 47

    @mclaren: i appreciate the attempted snark, but you ought to reserve it for a time when your point is valid.

    whether or not balloon juice is a media outlet has nothing to do with my point which was and is: the equivalence you draw between Fox Nation and the comment section of this blog is false.

    additionally, your point about satire has no applicability at all since the examples you referenced aren’t satire, and would more appropriately be categorized as snark.

    but thanks for the heads-up, and don’t let me get in the way of you basking in your own awesome.

  48. 48

    @Yutsano: oh, was that supposed to be a health-related insult?
    @mclaren:

    I know you’re not feeling well, but try to keep up.

    i’m about to lap you. trust.

  49. 49
    General Stuck says:

    @Angry Black Lady:

    You can likely expect a 1000 word opus on your Dr. Mclaren free diagnoses of sociopath. He’s busy as a beaver pecking away in the bat cave as we speak.

  50. 50
    Yutsano says:

    @Angry Black Lady:

    but thanks for the heads-up, and don’t let me get in the way of you basking in your own awesome.

    You just made me like serious mad moist there. You may haz a dinner at Wild Ginger in your future if you happen to venture up this far north.

  51. 51

    @General Stuck: i can’t wait! in the meantime i’ll go back to pecking away at my brief! 50 pages and counting.

    zoinks.

  52. 52
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @General Stuck:

    I view mclaren as that crazy guy you sometimes see when you are out walking. He’s poorly dressed, hasn’t brushed his teeth in two years, holding a paper bag with a mostly empty bottle of Thunderbird in it, muttering to himself as he aimlessly wanders along, randomly accosting strangers to let some barely intelligible rant fly before lurching off. Sometimes he stops to argue with mailboxes and telephone poles, eventually giving up and complaining that nobody ever listens to him.

    I can’t wait until he starts playing a park bench like a grand piano.

  53. 53
    kdaug says:

    @Mike G: Really? He did a silver-nose joke?

  54. 54
    parsimon says:

    Angry Black Lady, I’m not sure mclaren needs a 50+ page brief. Just saying.

    Sometimes you can write a shouty, snotty, sarcastic screed, and sometimes you can write a 50-page brief; and sometimes, just sometimes, there’s something in between.

  55. 55
    kdaug says:

    @mclaren: You think this dump is a corporate news channel?

    Man, you give us way too much credibility.

  56. 56
    suzanne says:

    @mclaren: I will reiterate my suggestion to the commentariat that we all go in and get you a hooker as a present to ourselves. It would free us from your self-indulgent histrionic-laced Rand-length rantings.

    Satire: you keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means. It’s only satire when I don’t really mean it.

  57. 57
    Yutsano says:

    @suzanne: A mixing of Lewis Carroll and Princess Bride. Brilliant. Like James Lipton brilliant.

    :: golf clap ::

  58. 58
    suzanne says:

    @General Stuck: Dr. Maclaren diagnosed me with syphilis yesterday.

    Why am I not surprised that he fantasizes about being a gynecologist?

  59. 59

    @parsimon: my brief is for work, in case you’re serious. i can’t tell.

  60. 60
    suzanne says:

    @Yutsano: :::blush:::

  61. 61
    General Stuck says:

    @suzanne:

    Yea, I saw that, a new one from the chronicles of Dr Mclaren.

    Lucky you :)

  62. 62
    Yutsano says:

    @Angry Black Lady: That’s snark. I think. Maybe. Though I could see both sides of that argument. I’m gonna go back to being an ebil giubmint worker now.

  63. 63
    parsimon says:

    @Angry Black Lady: Yeah, I gathered that. I was speaking slightly tongue-in-cheek. My broader point was that I thought that Balloon Juice operated outside the realm of credentializing, so I wasn’t sure why you were mentioning that you’re a lawyer. You could just say, “I have some work to get done.”

    No big deal. mclaren is trolling, of course, and in the absence of a more clearly articulated point on his/her part, it’s useless to engage him/her.

  64. 64
    Restrung says:

    I like Barack Obama. And Led Zeppelin.

  65. 65
    Uloborus says:

    @Angry Black Lady:
    I’m afraid mclaren was our most dedicated and zealous liberal nihilist until WyldSta- er, pyrate showed up. Mclaren can actually make some pretty good sounding arguments instead of just spewing bile. Unfortunately, when he/she/it does half the facts it’s based on turn out to not be true, and the other half are taken wildly out of context.

    When you see any post by mclaren remember that it/they seriously included the United States being involved in 3-4 permanent unwinnable wars as part of an argument about why Obama sucks. Once that happened I realized that the shark had officially been jumped.

  66. 66

    @Restrung: I like Barack Obama. I do not like Led Zepplin. Discuss.

    @parsimon: At least she didn’t threaten to fax Cole her credenza.

    @suzanne: Which thread, please? I missed that one.

    Remember, many on the right think Stephen Colbert is the real thing. In order to appreciate satire, one has to be able to laugh at oneself and the world around one (yes, pretentious). Deal. That’s not really the bailiwick of the right.

    P.S. I agree that BJ is snark not satire so big old strawman in what should have been a thread full of funny.

  67. 67

    P.S. I long ago decided if I were ever famous (ha!), I would just make up stories about myself and spread them far and wide. Then, when anything real was ‘exposed’, people would say, “She’s just making up shit again.” So, Obama should do the same. He should just release stories like this all the time–obviously false stories. FOX will pick them up, and then, they will be outFOXed.

  68. 68
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Mike G:
    __

    Miller pisses me off because I used to like his humor back in the 90s; I even went to a taping of his HBO show in 1999.
    __
    Then he went full metal wingnut and his sardonic edge across the political spectrum soured into bitter and mean Republican ideology.

    Way I heard it, Miller was funny (and I liked his stuff well enough to buy his first book) when he had good writers working for him. Somewhere before the end of the century, his ‘assistants’ started to get all whiny about not getting credited for stuff (especially the ‘best selling’ books), and Miller decided he could do just as well without them. As a result, the quality level dropped considerably, and there were rumors that HBO wouldn’t renew his contract, before Nine Eleven Changed Everything and he went — as you say — full metal wingnut. Not that I doubt his earnest conversion to Heartland American(tm) jingoism… but it was also a fiscally sound conversion in light of his career status.

  69. 69
    suzanne says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Ahhh, it was on DougJ’s thread about the Democrats’ political fortunes not being as bad as the media makes them out to be. Mclaren used it as an excuse to exhaustively catalog Every Shitty Thing On Earth. When some of us pointed out that Doug’s point was about the media narrative, not policy (not to mention, there have been policy successes), we were told that we were lying, and that we KNEW that we were lying! Because we are EEEEEVILE!

    At which point I suggested the prostitute. I was merely being pragmatic.

  70. 70
    Yutsano says:

    @suzanne: Who knew fee-fees were such delicate things if your name isn’t Lindsey Graham?

  71. 71
    suzanne says:

    @Yutsano: Seriously. It makes me want to taunt him relentlessly with yo’ momma jokes.

    Though I still think mclaren and matoko_chan would make a fabulous couple.

  72. 72
    Yutsano says:

    @suzanne: Meh. I’m starting to reach could-give-a-shit status. If it weren’t for the fact a government shut down would severely disrupt my life I’d be more than willing to let them go all whole hog and reverse all those nifty little protections that make our daily lives possible. It’s like the child who refuses to believe a stove is HOT! until they touch it.

  73. 73
    BruinKid says:

    I was able to read some of the comments earlier today before they took the story down, but after Mediaite and TPM and others had mocked them over it, when their readers slowly started to realize they’d been punked.

    And I swear, there was one right-winger who claimed all of those right-wingers KNEW it was satire, and were simply playing along in their comments!

  74. 74

    @parsimon: i suppose i tangentially mentioned i was a lawyer, but i wasn’t credentializing. you assume i think being a lawyer gives me cred or that being a lawyer gives a person cred. i don’t and it doesn’t. lawyers are a dime a dozen and many are idiots.

  75. 75

    @Yutsano: i don’t know what wild ginger is, but i like the sound of it!

  76. 76

    @Yutsano: my snarkometer must be broken.

    back to “work” i go.

  77. 77
    Nellcote says:

    @asiangrrlMN:

    I long ago decided if I were ever famous (ha!), I would just make up stories about myself and spread them far and wide. Then, when anything real was ‘exposed’, people would say, “She’s just making up shit again.”

    The Keef Richards gambit!

  78. 78
    gwangung says:

    @Angry Black Lady: Wild Ginger is an upscale Asian fusion restaurant (aka white people messing with Asian cooking). In this case, it’s quite good messing, so it’s a good thing to eat there…

  79. 79
    Quiddity says:

    This is nothing new for the FOX-Nation. Apparently Obama wrote (or helped to write) a book on inspirational people from American history. One was Sitting Bull. Jonathan Chait highlighted this headline: (15 Nov 2010)

    Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Killed U.S. General

    That was incorrect. (It was Crazy Horse that killed Custer). Later, they changed the headline to:

    Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Defeated U.S. General

    With this addition:

    Editor’s Note: Headline has been corrected for historical accuracy.

    Good for them!

  80. 80
    matoko_chan says:

    @suzanne:

    Though I still think mclaren and matoko_chan would make a fabulous couple.

    Why? He thinks you are a syphilitic ho’ an i think you are mildly retarded with poor reading comprehension. We have nothing in common as far I can tell. you should try spewing your simpleminded fail-insults to my face sometime, Slow Oldgirl.
    no guts no glory.

    Wikileaks is about to release the 600k “sensitive” classified diplomatic cables. Bettah get ‘chu hate-on ready for Assange… burn, eemom, sooner, etc….did i miss anybody?

  81. 81
    daveinboca says:

    Fox Nation did it as a joke. Terminal assholes didn’t get it and y’all were first in THAT line…!

  82. 82

    @Angry Black Lady:

    lawyers are a dime a dozen and many are idiots.

    Hell yes.

  83. 83
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @matoko_chan: “… you should try spewing your simpleminded fail-insults to my face sometime”

    Since you haunt this place I would think you would know that anything said about you here is pretty much ‘saying it to your face’. Other than hunting you down in RL and saying it ‘to your face’ (which would be just creepy), I really don’t know any other way someone could ‘say it to your face’ other than to say it here or at some other site that has the similar misfortune of you roosting there. I am sure that you know that my intelligence is lost in the long shadow cast by your sheer brilliance, so maybe I’m missing something here.

    As an aside I do have to agree that you and mclaren would make the perfect couple. I can just imagine the vows that the two of you would exchange. I have no idea how many people would off themselves while you were exchanging vows but I know it would be a horrible tragedy. Some friendly advice; if you and mclaren tie the knot please don’t have kids.

    It wouldn’t be fair to them.

  84. 84
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @daveinboca:

    Fox Nation did it as is a joke. Terminal assholes didn’t get it and y’all were first in THAT line…!

    Fix’t that for ya davey! I’m always glad to help the mentally unhinged. :)

  85. 85
  86. 86
    matoko_chan says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee: ancien tete du merde, fyi suzanne and agmn vanish when i show.
    when im not here they high five each other on pulling things out of their fat asses and pretending that i said them.
    mclauren dislikes me just as much as the rest of you dimwitted bioluddites.
    i imagine you are already married to some dull cow and have some spawned some quantity of ferociously mediocre mini-manatees in your image.

    i already spoke of my admiration for jody foster and designer eugenics.
    i plan to shop for a high IQ spermdonor (jody’s baby-daddy reportedly has a 160 IQ).
    i hardly think mclauren qualls.
    i’ll have as many children as i please when i please….to counteract the tedious averageness of w/e spawn you and ms. manatee have inflicted on the gene pool.

  87. 87
    THE says:

    @matoko_chan:

    I don’t expect you to respond to me, you rarely do,

    But I found this really neat video of a robot made by the German company Festo, employing what they call “fluidic muscles”.

    It’s closely modeled on biological systems and seems to work amazingly well.
    There’s a lot of interesting videos at that site.

    I am more and more convinced that this will be the century of robots, like the 20th century was dominated by the computer.

    Personally I am agnostic about transhumanism by genetics, vs. transhumanism by cyborg and nanotech.
    FWIW I think we will use both approaches to solve different problems.

  88. 88
    Lysana says:

    @matoko_chan:

    i plan to shop for a high IQ spermdonor

    It won’t counterbalance yours and create an average child, you know. Just saying.

  89. 89
    Lysana says:

    @matoko_chan:

    i plan to shop for a high IQ spermdonor

    It won’t counterbalance yours and create an average child, you know. Just saying.

  90. 90
    THE says:

    And of course, the obvious scientific argument against selective-breeding eugenics in humans, is that it is an amazingly blunt instrument that is very slow-acting in a species with such a long life-cycle as Man.

    If you really want to genetically modify us quickly (and I do) then you need a far more-focused, and directed, kind of genetic engineering.

  91. 91
    And the Horse He Rode In on says:

    @suzanne: Now look what you’ve done. You’ve brought matoko_chan out of her cave

  92. 92
    debbie says:

    Are the typos deliberate from the Onion, or are they evidence of Fox’s idiocy?

  93. 93
    matoko_chan says:

    @And the Horse He Rode In on: i dont even read here that much n/e more, but invariably those two hags have something to say behind my back (because in person i can and will shred them), an’ the rest of you feel obligated to stick up for them.
    tell them to stfu about me and you wont have to endure my comments.
    Again, i have negative infinity desire to be part of your “community” (/sneer). i just read here for Cole because He Once Was Republican, an im still trying to puzzle out how they spoofed me for a while.

    like i said, THE, i dont comment much n/e more n/e where.
    im bizzy.
    but those robots are pretty sweet.
    ty.

  94. 94
    gordonsowner says:

    I looked closer at the pic in the post — what’s the deal with the Palin caption “A Thanksgiving Message to all 57 States”?

    — later

    OK, I just Googled it, and evidently it’s an attempt at satire on verbal gaffes by Obama and Biden by someone at FOX nation (warning: this is a link to FOXNation: http://tinyurl.com/39mx4sy).

    But isn’t it just damn stupid to put up a blurb like this under Palin’s pic because, to the uninitiated like me, I took that to mean that Palin was sending a msg to all 57 states. Or maybe it’s not a bug, since the initiated would automatically know that FOXNation would never push something that made Palin look stupid. But it would not be an unreasonable gaffe for Palin (see: Palin and her North Korean allies)?

    FOXNation: wtf is that shit?

  95. 95

    If FauxSnooze blames The Onion for running a deliberately deceptive article we’ll know we’ve passed the Irony Horizon.

  96. 96
    p.a. says:

    years ago The Onion posted a press release by a fake homosexual rights group stating that they had exceeded their ‘recruitment goals’ for the year. A bunch of Christard groups believed it, sending it viral in their $ solicitation networks, with a bunch of ‘you see, they DO recruit’ fundraiser messages.

  97. 97
    THE says:

    @matoko_chan:
    Hmm.
    Maybe I just miss your old blog ;)

  98. 98
    ThresherK says:

    @Mike G: The turning point was when he said he’d give Shrub a pass. After all, taking a target off the table is the fount of all incisive political humor.

  99. 99
    suzanne says:

    @matoko_chan:

    We have nothing in common as far I can tell. you should try spewing your simpleminded fail-insults to my face sometime,

    You both share extreme self-involvement and a flair for the dramatic.

    I’m more than thrilled to insult you directly, by the way. Please don’t mistake the fact that I, you know, have other things to do than sit around refreshing threads hoping you’ll show up and embarrass yourself AGAIN every time I feel like mocking your ego-ridden baby talk.

  100. 100
    suzanne says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    I have no idea how many people would off themselves while you were exchanging vows but I know it would be a horrible tragedy.

    Mclaren’s vows would take approximately three hours to recite, because they would be riddled with lengthy asides about how he likes his socks folded JUST SO and the like, but matoko’s would be so short because she speaks in abbreviations. It would, however, be the first time the phrase “memetic selection for IQ, yah!” was uttered at a wedding.

  101. 101
    KevinNYC says:

    So they have two Obama stories. One is a fake from The Onion and the Other is a fake from Fox News.

    “Common Man Obama Has a Live-In Pastry Chef.”

    Except at Media Matters has pointed out
    There’s been a pastry chef at the White House since the early 1970’s.
    The White House hosts events where thousands of deserts are served each week.
    The pastry chef does not live there.

  102. 102
    Julia Grey says:

    I understand there were Fox Nation readers who even claimed to have GOTTEN the president’s “rambling email.”

    Tee hee.

  103. 103
    Julia Grey says:

    Fox Nation did it as a joke. Terminal assholes didn’t get it and y’all were first in THAT line…!

    I meant to do that!

  104. 104
    matoko_chan says:

    @suzanne: it doesn’t matter if you think stratification on cognitive ability is “unfair” or “icky”. you can attempt to mock me all you want but it doesn’t change a single stat.
    IQ is not plastic.
    All the kings horses and all the kings men cannot make someone below the threshold of functional retardation (70 points) into a rocket scientist.
    And like Sir Richard said, anyone that denies the heritability of intelligence is simply in “cloud cuckoo land” regardless of their “laudable” moral or political motivations.
    Interestingly, from a field experiment pov, many of the people here exhibit factblocking and backfire effect on cognitive ability (IQ), just as if they were conservative in affiliation.
    perhaps BJ is not actually liberal, perhaps it is stratification on age, and older people become more conservative with age.
    who can say?
    perhaps you find me arrogant. im aspergers positive, and i dont care what you think. im only interested in the truth.
    and the truth is, all men are created equal, all genes and memes are not.

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