I have no problem with Halperin making Salon’s #2 (America’s Concern Troll, Richard Cohen, was #1), but for the life of me, I don’t think you can really paint an accurate portrait of what a complete hack Halperin is without referencing this 2008 appearance on ABC’s Sunday Show, in which he stated that it was good news for Republicans that John McCain didn’t know how many houses he owned:
Did Howie Kurtz make the list?
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
Taking a hint from DougJ’s most excellent thread title “The BCS of BS”, it is painfully clear that we need a hackery playoff system. Our national pastime deserves better than this.
Jay in Oregon
Yes, at #23 right below Tucker Carlson.
mikefromArlington
LOL.
I love the Idiotic reference at the beginning of that video.
McCain Housing Gaffe is Excellent News!! For McCain!!!
Idiotic would use that line on occasion when Republicans would do ridiculous things during the election cycle at TPM.
That gaffe inspired my fav commercial that I think turned the tide in that election, “Seven.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmFd25tRqo
asiangrrlMN
Holy motherfucking shit. This guy is a clueless idiot. I have never heard him talk before, and now, I just want to punch him. No wonder he is #2. Obama started throwing shit first? Oh, hell no. I am reading down the list (have made it to #9). It’s really fucking depressing. Where’s my rusty pitchfork? Mark needs a poke to his hindquarters.
General question: I never watch the Sunday morning bobbleheads. Two minutes of this clip, and I was ready to punch a wall. Why the hell would anyone watch this shit?
slag
Excellent use of the apostrophe.
mikefromArlington
But yeah, Halperin is a tool of the nth degree.
eemom
Kurtz is on the list down near the bottom.
Now that the suspense is over, it’s good to go back and read the individual summations. They’re just chock full of little gems, e.g., Bill Kristol’s “repeat offenses” include
and Friedman
plus, OMG — that picture of Friedman is PRICELESS. It couldn’t have been better if he’d actually been trying to look like a caricature of himself.
Fstop
@slag: Thanks for the chuckle.
me
“Alex Pareene, you stink of jealousy.” — John Podhoretz. Someone’s bitter that he didn’t make the list, or maybe that Iran hasn’t been nuked yet, can’t really tell.
Mudge
A wonderful line about Richard Cohen by Pareene, but fill in any of the 30…
There’s no subject on which …………………. is not completely inessential.
schrodinger's cat
OT: What is with Sullivan’s gushing over Chris Christie over at the Daily Dish?
asiangrrlMN
@eemom: I think it’s his author photo, if I’m not mistaken. I’m on #10 (Nooners), and I need a stiff drink. OK. Finished the top ten. The next ten will have to wait. I can only ingest so much mindless bullshit before my own brain starts shrinking in protest.
@Maude: HELL YES! Even better (less work–but can it still get rusty?).
tominnola
this does indeed open the door to talk about TONY REZKO
Maude
@asiangrrlMN:
I got pitch fork with a motor. Wanna borrow it?
Mnemosyne
@schrodinger’s cat:
Sullivan is always looking for the sane conservative who will give him an excuse to run back into the arms of the Republicans.
It ain’t Christie, but Sully will never stop looking.
danimal
What a hacktacular list! I may quibble with the rankings, but this list really demonstrates the collapse of intelligent discourse in the lamestream* media.
Next year, I propose a write-off in which representative columns or videos are paired off, bracket style. Make it to the next round? Provide another contribution; this method encourages quality and quantity in our political hacks. And, as the NCAA has almost learned, the championship really should be determined on the field.
*Lamestream – Perhaps the only worthwhile Palinism in existence.
Gunga Dean
HIs frequent appearances on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” made my eyes bleed until I gave that crap up for good.
Ellie
Wait, did I miss it? Did Krauthammer not make the list? I demand a recount.
D.N. Nation
“McCain Won Teh Week!!!!!1” the week of the financial collapse is what ultimately stopped me even arguing with Halperin. Complete point of no return. I mean….
– This guy was still all over the idiotic horse-race stuff even as the nation was in complete financial peril; and
– Even if we’re fine with the horse-race, this was the week that 1) McCain suspended his campaign only to 2) Make a complete ass of himself in DC and 3) Show up to the debate anyway and lose while 4) Palinmania flamed out as she got schooled by, of all people, Katie Couric and, in the big picture, 5) The GOP Convention bounce ended as shown by 6) Nate Silver putting Obama back clearly over McCain. There was not one thing that happened good for Team McCain, not one, and this yutz (and others who I similarly ignore in full now) pretended like their farts smelled of Cinnabon. Up-is-down levels of absurd.
13th Generation
I really thought he deserved the top honors. A lot of commenters at Salon (and here) seem to be confusing GOP shills (like Krauthammer, Limbaugh, with those Oh So Serious village insiders. Those are the ones that primarily made this list, and rightly so.
jaleh
How about Dan Froomkin on Huffpost?
Today’s headline:
“Turkey spared–but Obama’s Compassion for Humans comes up short”
Because Obama didn’t pardon a bunch of criminals in the first 22 months of his Presidency…
What is it with these people?
Southern Beale
I’ve enjoyed Salon’s Hacktacular list but man it really just reminds me how incredibly fucking stupid our discourse has become and how screwed we are as a country.
eemom
@Ellie:
as noted on the earlier thread, Krauthammer isn’t really a hack. He’s The Devil himself.
D.N. Nation
And again, I say Tom Sowell was robbed. Public intellectual who makes his cheddar blasting strawmen versions of public intellectuals. Once based an entire column on the assumption that Sirhan Sirhan is Iranian (hint: he isn’t). Pats his own back for coming up with genius points like how high-speed police chases should end via sniper fire from helicopters and, more famously, that we should open up the free market for human kidney sales. Wrote a column a couple of months ago comparing Obama to both Lenin AND Hitler. And on and on.
Fstop
@schrodinger’s cat: Is it tacky to suggest Sully thinks he’s hot?
Legalize
I don’t know. This story, about Michelle Obama’s Camelot fail, takes hackery to fantastic new heights I think.
schrodinger's cat
@Fstop: Well there is no accounting for taste, so I guess anything is possible. But Christie hot? The mind, it boggles.
Maude
@asiangrrlMN:
I have been soaking it in brine for 6 weeks . I use a solution of seasalt, pond scum water and Habenero peppers.
Wait ’til you see this baby. The RPM alone will knock your socks off.
Cohen is #1
Pete
Wow. Hearing Tony Rezko’s name makes me feel all hopey-changey again.
Ahhh… Nostalgia.
Southern Beale
Yes children, we are DOOMED.
Rep. Todd Akin, R-Bumfug, sez the Puritans came to America “after trying socialism.”
Yes we have a winner. Dumbest member of Congress, take a bow.
Mark S.
I forgot all about Cohen’s idiotic critique of Colbert. God that was one of the worst columns I’ve ever read. The one that sticks out in my mind is where he found Obama’s trip to Africa too boring so he watched Animal Planet instead.
As dumb (and boy is he dumb) as Cohen is, I’m not sure he’s even in the top 5 worst columnists at WaPo. I’d go with Kraut, Will, Dean, one or more of their neocons and probably one of their more obnoxious theocons. Applebaum sucks pretty hard but might not even crack the top ten. Does Amity Schlaes write for them? Rubin is going to be terrible. I still feel like I’m leaving someone out. Who’s that dipshit economist they have that Doug’s written about? Charles something?
God, worst paper in the country.
asiangrrlMN
@Legalize: It made the headlines at Yahoo! I refuse to read it. Simply refuse. I still like the idea of the whole gang at Politico being number one.
@Maude: Most excellent. I like spicy hot! I can’t wait to see you rev that thing.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
@Ellie: Yeah, I would swap out Ingram for Cabbagehammer, using the Beltway Respectability Rule, ditto Kristol, who has marginalized himself, for Fred Hiatt.
@Legalize: Good god, the comments on that story are stupefying, But there’s no racism in criticism of the Obamas /All thirty of Pareene’s nominees.
Jim, Foolish Literalist
Holy crap, I just watched the video. When you’re out-hacking Cokie Roberts (who quickly jumps on Halperin’s wagon) you’re doing something special. And then they try to flog up William Ayers. Did that ever register outside of a Palin rally?
ed
The List needs more Sullivan and more McMegan.
Driftglass:
asiangrrlMN
@Legalize: Which, as I hover over your link, is from where you got it (Yahoo!). Duh!
@Jim, Foolish Literalist: Yes. With the Villagers. They thought it so important to discuss. Wankers. All of them.
suzanne
@me: Could there be a more sophomoric taunt than “You’re just jealous!”? Seriously, I’m waiting for the “Nyah nyah!”.
suzanne
@danimal: I suggested brackets in the other thread, too. I think it would be a BLAST. Go Fug Yourself does an annual tournament at the same time as March Madness, and it’s inevitably hilarious.
We should do that here.
Martin
@mikefromArlington: My favorite was the True, sorta-commercial.
But yeah, McCain couldn’t have looked more out of touch with the country than he did there. It was nice to see it used against him.
Mouse Tolliver
@jaleh:
Fixed it for ya.
Calvin Jones and the 13th Apostle
@Mnemosyne: Exactly. Sully is looking at Mitch Daniels, also, too.
Ellie
Well, congrats to Cohen, the Krauthammer oversight notwithstanding. I can’t wait for the riveting column refudiating the result. “I am not a hack. My kindergarten teacher routinely asked me to say something not hacky. So there.”
Citizen_X
Halperin @ 1:10: Pshaw, Donna. The Keating 5 doesn’t have anything to do with today’s economic problems, you silly black lady!
El Tiburon
Look Driftglass and others who may have a problem with the ordering of this list: the difference between #1 and #30 is so small as to be irrelevant.
The list should be titled: Hacks 1 – 1a, 1b, 1c…
Mnemosyne
@jaleh:
It would be nice if Froomkin could have mentioned one or two of the cases he’s so upset about not getting commutations. Otherwise, he just looks like an idiot looking for something to whine about.
Oh, wait, this is Froomkin we’re talking about. Never mind.
@Mouse Tolliver:
You don’t get your sentence commuted if you’re factually innocent. You get it commuted if someone decides you’ve served enough time already; the crime still remains on your record.
ChrisB
@D.N. Nation: That was about the time that McCain showed up with Snausages for Mr. Puddles, if I recall correctly.
Ah, memories.
@Mark S.: That’s one thing I’ll say about the winner: his quote about Colbert was as hacktacular as could be.
Tara the antisocial social worker
What is it about being named Richard Cohen? The “ex-gay” movement has another nutty Richard Cohen whose treatment method involves cuddling other men, and pounding a tennis racket on a pillow while screaming.
Richard Cohen is second only to Eric Harris in names you don’t want to give your child.
Catsy
@jaleh:
I’ve been having it out at DK with some douche who posted a list of how many total pardons and commutations had been granted by a whole bunch of presidents, and compared it unfavorably with the fact that Obama hasn’t issued any yet–two years into his first term.
Never mind the fact that pardons have become so politicized that presidents generally leave them until the end of their term, completely invalidating the comparison.
It’s legitimate to note this and advocate for Obama to start pardoning people who’ve been fucked over by our system, but the only way to make that point by comparing him to other presidents is to compare to what they had done two years into their first term. And even then, anything from Ford or earlier isn’t really apples to apples, considering the massive change in politicization and public opinion about pardons after the Nixon pardon.
jaleh
@Mouse Tolliver:
It would have been nice if Froomkin had said that. But he didn’t and the headline does not justify the content. Froomkin could have just written another article complaining about Obama not pardoning someone he thinks should have been pardoned. On the other hand, if the the system is broken, I don’t think Obama’s pardoning would fix the system. Hey, don’t you remember Rich and Clinton? Can you imagine the right wingers screaming no matter who Obama pardons?
Cris
@slag: WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR
Jim, Foolish Literalist
I guess any list like this is gonna be a subjective grouping of “the thirty pundits who irritate me the most”. Some of the missing names to me are: Cokie Roberts, Saletan, Weisberg, Sally Quinn (to the extent she can be considered a pundit); Bob Woodward (had Nixon only known how much trouble he could have avoided by agreeing to be an unnamed source for a young reporter….); and of course, Juan Williams. There are a few I’m forgetting.
jaleh
@Catsy:
I am so done with dkos. They depress me, it’s like going to redstate, don’t you think?
I don’t mind constructive criticism, but they hate him over there. Obama is doing the best he can under our corporate personhood! Who do they think they can come up with to beat Obama? Nader? Kucinich? And, if they think Clinton would have been better, they have forgotten what Clinton went through (and put us through) in the 90’s…
Sharl
If folks are looking for a hack play-off template, you could do worse than take a look at Matt Taibbi’s October 2004 Wimblehack! piece in the NY Press. Click on the bracket image there to enlarge (direct link to the .jpg here).
mistersnrub
The sad thing about this list is that I can think of like, 15 more people off the top of my head that are worthy of consideration. Aside from krugman, I’m at a loss for any intellectually stimulating writers employed by a major media outlet. Heck, I cannot even think of one interesting prose stylist. The DC press corps is like an army of Poloniuses – words, words, words.
Triassic Sands
OMG, when Cokie Roberts comes across as less clueless than someone, that someone is utterly beyond hope.
Halperin is one of those guys who has figured out that being wrong carries no price for a member to the elite Hacks, but being right about something that lots of other people got wrong will earn you undying praise. So, making counterintuitive arguments is seen as a good way to gain cred among the elite. Wrong 100 times? Who cares. Right once on something most others got wrong? Genius!!!
Of course Halperin is still stuck in the always wrong/no price to pay rut.
fraught
It must burn to be Ann Coulter and know that your career is so over that you don’t deserve even the dubious distinction of a mention while laura ingraham is #9. Invisible, melted, not entitled to personhood any longer. I’ll bet she cuts her hair tomorrow. with a turkey bone.
Ash Can
I’m still amazed that Megan McArdle wasn’t on that list. Maybe what she does is so inept that Pareene doesn’t even consider it punditry. Or any kind of verbal communication, for that matter.
ThatLeftTurnInABQ
@mistersnrub:
Around these parts we’ve taken to calling them the DC press corpse.
Downpuppy
Pundit Playoff?
Wimblehack!
Taibbi’s reporting of the 2004 campaign press. The Nedra Pickler & Karen Tumulty quotes are the funniest.
ed
@Ash Can:
McMegan is most certainly as hacky as any on the list (so’s her colleague Sully). Ignoring her may be the way to go, but she could end up thinking that since she’s not on the list, that she’s not really a Hack, which is mildly problematic.
Innocent Bystander
I think we’re all a bit jealous that we can’t even come up with a list of 30 progressive hacks to even consider. Sure, KO, Maddow, O’Donnell, Schultz would be automatics on the list of any blogger-stooge who’ll try to refudiate this list – but I think they miss the point that this top 30 list is primarily a journalistic club. Unfortunately, I really can’t think of any solid progressive apologists/homers hacks who are consistently given prime real estate on the nation’s Op-Ed pages. Frankly, I’m not sure they even exist. But conservative (Republican) governance is so full of fail, it takes an inordinate number of hacks to provide cover.
Lots of worthy candidates left off the list – Kondrake, Barnes, Kudlow, Krauthammer….you could easily expand this to a top 50 without much effort. And there’s a whole minor league of wanabees that are in training to be the next generation of hacks that deserves their own list.
And I want to give a shoutout to NRO who’d have been my #1 pick for ‘Group Hack’.
JenJen
Ahh, memories! I remember the link Pareene supplies from Wonkette, who summed up Halperin nicely in 2005 when they wrote:
Keeping up the appearance that he knows more than you do is Mark Halperin’s raison d’être.
Alex S.
Good list, I am happy with the way Alex Pareene defined a “hack” -and Richard Cohen is a worthy nr.1 there, although I think that in all the several ways you could define hackdom Cohen is getting outhacked by someone.
Maybe Laura Ingraham shouldn’t have been there, but another Politico troll instead (especially VandeHei), but very solid overall.
Bill White
David Brooks deserved better than #30. IMHO.
marcopolo
@mistersnrub: Ezra Klein?
kuvasz
A veritable brothel of media whores.