Driving Mr. Morgan Freeman

Oh for fuck’s sake.

I actually yelled that out loud when I watched this video. By way of background, Obama has been stumping for various candidates and using his “Republicans drove the car into the ditch” metaphor. Analogy? Simile? Rhetoric? Kenyan Crazytalk? At any rate, here’s what he’s been saying:

He said Republicans had driven the economy into a ditch and then stood by and criticized while Democrats pulled it out. [That’s what she said!! What?! I may be 36, but I have the mind of a six year-old.]
Now that progress has been made, he said, “we can’t have special interests sitting shotgun. We gotta have middle class families up in front. We don’t mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back.”

And here’s a compilation of the reaction from the asshats at Fox News:

These dumb ass race-baiting twatwaffles with their faux concern-trolling and faux outrage… I swear it makes my brain ache.  “My, my, my, President Colored Man just told all us here Republicans that we can’t drive the car. We gotsta sit in the back. You know what that means, y’all? It means that we’re all Rosa Parks, and Obama, our evil KenyoMuslim massa’ is going straight Jim Crow on our asses. I think I feel a little light-headed. Somebody get me mah smellin’ salts. I feel a case of the vapors comin’ on.

I really wish Fox News–the entire damn network–would die in an excruciatingly hot fire. That network, in my esteemed opinion, is single-handedly ruining the fabric of this country.  So you know what I say?  LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE! GO GO GO!!

But watch that there video first, so you can get properly outraged. I’ll be standing at the exit, handing out matches and cans of gasoline.

173 replies
  1. 1
    The Other Chuck says:

    You had me at “twatwaffles”

  2. 2
    Dreggas says:

    I am so stealing “twatwaffles”

  3. 3
    AnnaN says:

    I love you. I am married, but perhaps that won’t matter?

    Welcome to Balloon Juice – nice to have you.

  4. 4
    dmsilev says:

    Fox usually tries to claim that their evening “opinion” shows are somehow distinct from their daytime “news” shows in terms of just how propagandistic they are.

    Needless to say, videos like this prove them liars.

    dms

  5. 5
    cleek says:

    my next band is gonna be called “Cap’n Cleek And His Terrible Twatwaffles”

    and our first single will be called “Set Them On Fire”.

    the chorus will be:

    LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE!
    GO GO GO!!
    LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE!
    GO GO GO!!

  6. 6
    Cris says:

    Fox talking heads pretend not to know the difference between “sitting in the back of the bus” — which does indeed bring up images of segregation — and “sitting in the back seat of the car,” which is where you quite properly put the children.

  7. 7
    djheru says:

    Also, too, the middle class families are the ones who, as such, should be sitting on the back of the bus in the back seat.

  8. 8
    NR says:

    How’s that bipartisanship workin’ out for ya, Obama?

  9. 9
    cleek says:

    ah, but, you see, Rosa Parks didn’t want to just ride on the bus, she wanted to drive it. and the driver was all like “hell, no! go sit down. there’s a seat back there somewhere!” and she’s all like “hell no! racism! discrimination!”

    so, yes, this is just like Rosa Parks, you see.

    the Rosa Parks i just made up.

    i can haz $2,000,000 contract at Fox?

  10. 10
    ruemara says:

    I prefer “twatsquatches” but I like “twatwaffles” too. And don’t you know, black folks are the real racists? Also. Too. Assholes.

    @NR:

    Yes. This is all Obama’s fault. Idiot.

  11. 11
    Paris says:

    I draw the line at ‘compilations of Fox idiocy’. Who has the time? I don’t know how (or why) Media Matters does what they do.

  12. 12
    Pangloss says:

    No fire could possibly be hot enough. No smelting plant, no blast furnace, not even the surface of the sun.

  13. 13
    Kryptik says:

    I honestly don’t know how much proper outrage I have left. I mean, this bullshit is just so audacious, so blatant, so fucking ridiculous for something that people actually believe, and it’s still not even the tip of the iceberg of what bullshit gets beamed out 24/7 by these jackasses, not to mention fairweather Dems and liberals and such.

    I’m not sure if I’m up for scorched earth when I already feel totally burnt out.

  14. 14
    aimai says:

    Oh, its the new “lipstick on a pig”!

    aimai

  15. 15
    freelancer says:

    @The Other Chuck:

    I agree with this. I signed on to type this exact phrase, verbatim.

  16. 16
    JenJen says:

    You fuckin’ rock, Angry Black Lady.

  17. 17
    Barb (formerly gex) says:

    He said Republicans need to sit in back. I guess even they admit that Republican = white. Everyone else is allowed in simply to maintain the ability to feign that they aren’t racist, xenophobic, misogynistic, homophobes.

  18. 18
    Cris says:

    @aimai: Well said. “I’m outraged by the implications of what you didn’t actually say.”

  19. 19
    Sentient Puddle says:

    Obama didn’t even mention a bus, did he?

    Once again, Fox making shit up. Nice.

  20. 20
    Maody says:

    self same faux news people who imply he’s not/deny he is american now talking like he’s all american, an’ PRESIDENT to boot, and he should fucking know better cuz he’s black. :facepalm:

  21. 21
    Cris says:

    Studies show that the safest place for Republicans is in the back of the car, rear-facing.

  22. 22

    Speaking of tolerance … 72-year-old Republican assaults 23-year-old female protestor in Washington.

    Hey, guys: Hippie punching is a metaphor.

  23. 23
    morzer says:

    I see the voluntary customers of Short Bus Services are outraged at being given a chance to upgrade to adult transportation.

    Where’s the gratitude?

  24. 24
    Cris says:

    @Sentient Puddle: Obama didn’t even mention a bus, did he?

    Nope, and he didn’t even leave room to read “bus” into it — there’s no such thing as “sitting shotgun” on a bus.

    But then, it occurs to me that Dana Perino probably doesn’t ride the bus, so what does she know about it?

  25. 25
    Hunter Gathers says:

    Who will shed a tear for our oppressed affluent white majority now? What are they going to do when they only have 75% of the power in 20 years, as opposed to the 90% they have now? Angle’s ‘Second Amendment Solutions’, perhaps?

  26. 26
    MikeJ says:

    Damn. I never realised when I was a child what racists my parents were. They *never* let me sit in the front seat. I thought it was just because they were the grownups and wanted to sit together, but now I know it’s because I’m white. Those fuckers.

  27. 27
    Rosalita says:

    ABL, so happy you are bring the whoopass to Balloon Juice.

    Obama racist? Fox is racist because they are only drawing this conclusion because Obama is teh black.

    I honestly can’t keep track of who is being racist, I’m getting whiplash from these idiots.

  28. 28
    Midnight Marauder says:

    Rovian politics at its best.

    “Let’s go after the biracial, first black president as an ignorant racist who doesn’t even understand just how badly those blacks had it back in the day! That will really help whip up the white resentment!”

    I can’t stand these motherfuckers.

  29. 29
    cmorenc says:

    It’s getting to the point where I now avoid patronizing any business which keeps FoxNews on in their lounge.

  30. 30
    Roger Moore says:

    @aimai:

    Oh, its the new “lipstick on a pig”!

    QFT.

  31. 31
    Meanderthal says:

    @Pangloss: Oh, but we should try all three options, just to be certain.

  32. 32
    R-Jud says:

    @ruemara:

    I prefer “twatsquatches” but I like “twatwaffles” too.

    I’m kinda partial to “douchecanoe”, but then, I’ve always loved the water!

  33. 33
    Adam Collyer says:

    @Cris:

    But then, it occurs to me that Dana Perino probably doesn’t ride the bus, so what does she know about it?

    You know who does ride a bus though? Megan McCardle. She gets all kinds of interesting insight from random bus riders who just happen to tell her things in perfect, soundbyte-oriented language.

  34. 34
    Xenos says:

    Oh crap. Now we are going to get all Treachered and shit. A black person talking about race = racism, you know.

  35. 35
    buckyblue says:

    Thank god someone finally said this. Fox is singlehandedly at fault for the impasse of finding any common ground. To most of our consternation, Obama has tried to work bi-partisanly. But since he didn’t embrace full-on Friedmanesque free-market principles, the Republicans wouldn’t budge. And they didn’t budge because they would get crucified on Fox. Lets burn the place down and save our democracy.

  36. 36
    Shalimar says:

    Obama has been saying this for months now. It’s kinda sad that it took FoxNews that long to come up with a reply and this is still the best they can do.

  37. 37
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @cleek:

    my next band is gonna be called “Cap’n Cleek And His Terrible Twatwaffles”

    Fixed. One word, easily remembered.

  38. 38
    Lowkey says:

    Shorter Fox News: “Our self-awareness: let us show you it.”

  39. 39
    El Cid says:

    When Rosa Parks was forced to sit in the back of the limousine, a nation rose up.

  40. 40
    The Other Chuck says:

    Obama, perhaps through Gibbs, should issue a one-sentence reply: “This is exactly why the Republicans should be riding in the back seat.”

  41. 41
    Kryptik says:

    @Shalimar:

    No, what’s sadder is that the media is going to run with it and continue on that godawful, infuriating ‘ONLY MINORITIES CAN BE RACIST NOW!’ bullshit. And of course it’ll translate into active attempts of disenfranchisement, because hey, them damn brown folk hate us whites and they aren’t smart enough to vote right anyhow, so we’s doin’ them a favor.

  42. 42
    Stefan says:

    It’s getting to the point where I now avoid patronizing any business which keeps FoxNews on in their lounge.

    I demand (politely, but quite firmly) that they turn it off. And if they don’t, out walks me and my dollars.

  43. 43
    Politically Lost says:

    twatwaffel…

    Oh, thank you very much Angry Black Lady. (And, thank John for bringing you on board)

    I am forever searching for new and interesting words to add to my lexicon and you have provided a real gem for me today.

    I look forward to more of your posts.

  44. 44
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @Midnight Marauder:

    To quote the late, great Steve Gilliard:

    “I’m not writing to make conservatives happy. I want them to hate my opinions. I’m not interested in debating them. I want to stop them.”

    The key two word there are “stop them”. Steve said that back in, I dunno, 2005. We can see how well any attempt to be bipartisan ala Obama or a Surrender Monkey ala Harry Reid Neville Chamberlain has been.

    Why our political leaders don’t see the opposition for what they are. A buddy of mine, when he was still on active duty, was on Cheney’s staff for 2 years. He made it very clear that they were playing by a different set of rules than most. That’s clearly carried over to the party as a whole.

  45. 45
    licensed to kill time says:

    Even their Faux-rage is so clunky and dumb. Fox is a pox on our nation.

    eta: ♪♫ Angry Black Lady ♪♫ Welcome! ♪♫

    You are teh awesome.

  46. 46
    Ash Can says:

    @Cris:

    Studies show that the safest place for Republicans is in the back of the car, rear-facing dropped off at the side of the road and made to walk home.

  47. 47
    Jules says:

    Dear ABL.
    I love you.
    “twatwaffles” indeed.
    Always,
    Jules

    (I like calling Docey and Kilmeade “paste eaters” but I think “twatwaffles” is better.)

  48. 48
    GregB says:

    Let’s not forget that Mormon evangelist Beck claimed that we have to stop tearing each other apart and that former Fox News reporter Major Asshole Garrett said that Fox News only reason for ratings is to tear each other apart.

  49. 49
    John PM says:

    @Cris: #6

    “sitting in the back seat of the car,” which is where you quite properly put the children

    I agree wholeheartedly, and I would add that the back seat is also where you put the 16 year old with his new driver’s license who got drunk and drove Dad’s car into a schoolbus full of nuns.

  50. 50
    elmo says:

    Just chiming in to add to the BJ community love for ABL. Please please please don’t go away when John comes back! kthx.

  51. 51
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @The Other Chuck: Actually, I think he should have some fun with how they cannot even get their metaphors correct. Maybe borrow what someone said above about how our parents were being racist by putting us in the back of the car.

  52. 52
    dmsilev says:

    @Pangloss:

    No fire could possibly be hot enough. No smelting plant, no blast furnace, not even the surface of the sun.

    So, you’re saying that Fox must be carried back to the place it was forged and thrown into the volcano at Mt Doom?

    Works for me.

    dms

  53. 53
    Cris says:

    @The Other Chuck: Gibbs did already make one cute response: something about being concerned about “backseat driving.”

  54. 54
    J.W. Hamner says:

    I don’t know what they’re complaining about… it’s not like he said they had to sit on the hump.

  55. 55
    MikeJ says:

    @Ash Can: Could we drive them way, way out to the forest and set them free?

  56. 56
    Ash Can says:

    I am struck by how many faces of color I saw among those Fox commentatoroids. (What? White’s a color, isn’t it?)

    Seriously, though, I did notice that most of those fine patriotic men and Aryan blonde women were wearing black or brown, so it’s all good, right?

  57. 57
    Adam Lang says:

    I’m quite fond of ‘cuntwaffles’ (although I’ve been accused of being a misogynist on the basis of my having used it, which I guess is somewhat understandable, although in my defense the full phrase was ‘cuntwaffles and dickwhistlers’) but twatwaffles is a new one on me.

    I wish I could sustain the level of outrage that you can. I can’t. I just get suicidally depressed after a while. Which means that I’ve been pretty much suicidally depressed for the last nine years and 51 weeks.

  58. 58
    Chat Noir says:

    I really wish Fox News—the entire damn network—would die in an excruciatingly hot fire. That network, in my esteemed opinion, is single-handedly ruining the fabric of this country. So you know what I say? LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE! GO GO GO!!

    I’m right there with you on this sentiment. Rupert Murdoch and Roger Ailes are scum of the lowest form.

    I’m glad you’re here, ABL. You are an awesome addition to the other front pager posters.

  59. 59
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @MikeJ:
    Me also, too. I’m furious that it took me until the age of 62 to realized just how oppressed I’ve been all of my life.

  60. 60
    djheru says:

    @Adam Lang:
    cuntwaffles, mmmmmm….

  61. 61
    LGRooney says:

    You know this will be quoted somewhere…

    I really wish Fox News—the entire damn network—would die in an excruciatingly hot fire. That network, in my esteemed opinion, is single-handedly ruining the fabric of this country. So you know what I say? LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE! GO GO GO!!

    …and shown to be the equal of all the actual violence they carry out now, right? See, your angry words = their actual violence.

    Count me in with the vitriol!!

  62. 62
    MattF says:

    I watched the first ten seconds, my blood pressure went from x/y to 2x/2y. So, I’m sorry (truly) but I can’t watch any more.

  63. 63
    OGLiberal says:

    Shorter FoxNews…

    “You old racist white folks who make up 90% of our viewing audience – you’re not the racists. It’s our negro president who is the racist – he hates old racist white folks! And MLK Jr. was a Republican. Also, Lincoln.”

    Makes their viewers feel better about themselves as they head out to the mailbox to pick up their disability check and latest Medicare claims forms.

  64. 64
    Cris says:

    @Dennis SGMM: I’m furious that it took me until the age of 62 to realized just how oppressed I’ve been all of my life.

    Beautiful. You just channeled the quintessential Teabagger sentiment.

  65. 65
    Dork says:

    Uh…..yeeeaaah….how to say this without getting shived….hmmmmm….uh, the LARGE FONT BOLDED F-BOMB at the start of the post is really….uh….ya know, NSFW. Any way possible in the future to not bold it, or bury it inside a paragraph, so its not so in my boss’s face when I open this site?

  66. 66
    Tim says:

    OMG, Angry Black Woman, some of your posts give me rhetorical/political gasms of all sorts.

    Thank you.

    I have to clean up now…

  67. 67
    DanF says:

    I can’t verify that you’re a “Lady” or if you are “Black”, but I’m definitely picking up on the “Angry” bit. Twatwaffles. Absolutely priceless! Nice post!

  68. 68

    Sometimes I think when it comes to Fox News it’s a perception v reality issue. Fox News Viewership Plunges 21% While MSNBC Grows.

    But here is the really amazing part:

    Fox News is now averaging 1.831 million prime time viewers a day, and only 443,000 viewers age 25-54.

    I’m sorry but if that were network numbers, the program would be written off as an abject failure after the first episode.

  69. 69
    LGRooney says:

    @Ash Can: It is a matter of what is absorbed, i.e., what we see as light is actually the reflection of that light. Or, what we see is the opposite of what the object actually is. White is the absence of color, i.e., the reflection of all frequencies of light. Black is the combination of all visible light, i.e., the reflection of nothing. That’s why black clothing, for example, is so much warmer to the wearer than white clothing.

  70. 70
    Cris says:

    @Dork: Dude, if your work environment is the kind of place that doesn’t tolerate the printed word “Fuck,” you simply shouldn’t browse this site from work. Sorry.

  71. 71
    licensed to kill time says:

    Paging any Front-Pager! Italics Bomb has skewed the thread below!

    There’s an unclosed italics tag in comment #106, youfixplz.

  72. 72
    Cris says:

    Ooh, is the duplicate comment detector a new plugin?

  73. 73
  74. 74
    OGLiberal says:

    Obama wants the middle class in the front-seat. I though the middle class were “real ‘Murikans”? Should FNC be supportive of these “real ‘Murikans”? Or is “middle class” the new brown?

    Crowley is a piece of work. She whipped out Jesse and Al in a heartbeat – the old stand-bys. Her argument is kind of like the, “Well, why can black people say ‘nigger’ but white people can’t” BS. But it’s even worse because Obama didn’t say bus or talk about race in anyway – he was extending his metaphor. And for the love of pete, he’s talking about the GOP obstructionist assnecks in Congress, not rank-and-file Republicans. (who, of course, are the only “real ‘Murikans” in the country)

  75. 75
    morzer says:

    I really wish Fox News—the entire damn network—would die in an excruciatingly hot fire. That network, in my esteemed opinion, is single-handedly ruining the fabric of this country. So you know what I say? LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE! GO GO GO!!

    In the interest of the environment, can’t we just just use Yucca Mountain? Toxic waste is what it’s for after all. Dump FOX down the shaft, turn out the lights, and lock the door.

  76. 76
    change says:

    I wonder what the reaction on the left would be if a conservative blogger said he wanted MSNBC to burn down and talked about “matches” and “gasoline” at the exit?

  77. 77
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @The Other Chuck:

    No shit…lol! I had to grab the wife and have her read our new angry contributor. I asked her how she liked the post and she said “I love the twatwaffles”!

    Faux Nooz can DIAF. If possible, I would donate for a cannon to fire them into the sun. Of the galaxy furthest from ours. Of course, if there is life out there I am sure they would fire them right back at us.

  78. 78
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @change:

    Which time, asshole?

  79. 79
    Morbo says:

    @4tehlulz: I suggest we take advantage of it. Maybe I’ll see a Republican vote twice on Tuesday…

  80. 80
    Culture of Truth says:

    Hey that’s Jake Tapper’s sister organization!

    In all seriousness, the fact that Tapper thinks of it as a fellow news organization has entire generation of Democrats, with some exceptions, quaking in fear of being called names on Fox.

  81. 81
    Koz says:

    Fuck the racism business. The first thing Obama has to learn is that the economy is in the tank because of he’s doing. Maybe the lib team can learn some shame this election in addition to losing 60 House seats or whatever it’s gonna be.

  82. 82
    Punchy says:

    @4tehlulz: This email addy will be soooooo spoofed by DougJ acolytes and assorted dicks like myself that they wont be able to make any sense of what they’re seeing. I suspect it will become a cesspool of snark, fake reports, and general bullshit that it’s inoperable by Tuesday.

  83. 83
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @change:

    Yes, you need to change because I can smell your shit all the way over here. Better tell mommy you need a new diaper.

  84. 84
    change says:

    See how the liberals hate free speech when it comes from a conservative: so much so they threaten terrorist acts to silence them.

  85. 85
    change says:

    @Odie Hugh Manatee:

    You seem to have a strange obsession with diapers and bodily functions. Weird, and childish.

    Either grow up or let the adults talk.

  86. 86
    kc says:

    ABL, you rule!

  87. 87
    TR says:

    Fox News sets up special email address: voterfraud@foxnews.com.

    It’s not quite burning down the building, but that email address should be signed up for every single spam email out there.

  88. 88

    @morzer: But what if it escapes?

    Isn’t the Large Hadron Collider capable of forming mini-blackholes? That could be a more permanent solution. . .

  89. 89
    Midnight Marauder says:

    @comrade scott’s agenda of rage:

    The key two word there are “stop them”. Steve said that back in, I dunno, 2005. We can see how well any attempt to be bipartisan ala Obama or a Surrender Monkey ala Harry Reid Neville Chamberlain has been.
    __
    Why our political leaders don’t see the opposition for what they are. A buddy of mine, when he was still on active duty, was on Cheney’s staff for 2 years. He made it very clear that they were playing by a different set of rules than most. That’s clearly carried over to the party as a whole.

    You’re exactly right here, but at some point in time, if the leadership isn’t taking a forceful enough stand, if they aren’t vociferous in their criticism of these know-nothing obstructionist frauds, then at some point, it’s up to the citizenry to start pushing the message out. Who knows what form that takes exactly, but the era of letting these assholes get away with playing by their own fucking rules without it being called out for what it is needs to be put to bed. People need to not only call out liars as liars, but connect the dots of why they are lying and how these lies are no different than the previous lies they fooled the populace with.

    It’s getting rather infuriating reading comments day after day about the inevitability of the Village fluffing whatever narratives Republicans will be pushing after the election (win or lose), as though just because it’s a thing that will happen means that we just have to sit back and let it be as effective as possible. Or that there is no way to challenge these clowns and alter the narrative in any way.

    I mean, we are talking about a political party now that has done everything short of issue a formal declaration telling their candidates and members to avoid debating their positions, to avoid potentially “hostile” news outlets, to avoid any kind of public event that might lead to them being confronted over their increasingly extreme views. These people have entirely forgotten what it’s like to have an opposition that is actually willing and gleeful about rhetorically punching them in the fucking face, that has no qualms about saying “No, you are a liar and a fraud, and we will expose you for what you are.” They literally do not have those skills any more; they’ve failed to impart them in generation after generation, instead just telling them to stay within the comforts of their conservative bubble because no way will those pesky Democrats be able to reach them in there.

    Well, it’s time to tear that fucking bubble to the ground, set the rubble on fire, and then piss on the smoldering ashes. Let’s get it started right now.

  90. 90
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @Koz: Ha ha, no. Nice try, but the rest of us here were awake from 2005 to 2008, so we know why the economy sucks.

  91. 91
    kc says:

    I really wish Fox News—the entire damn network—would die in an excruciatingly hot fire.

    Preferably ignited by a gigantic lightning bolt . . .

  92. 92
    Ash Can says:

    @change: A conservative blogger would never say that. They’re all far too kind-hearted and refined and compassionate for that. Shame on you for even suggesting this.

  93. 93
    gogol's wife says:

    @buckyblue:

    I guess I should know this, but what’s with all these Arthur Treacher references? Arthur Treacher was a wonderful performer who made delightful appearances in four Shirley Temple films, was Merv Griffin’s droll sidekick, and has been dead for quite a few years now. Has someone been impersonating him?

  94. 94
    change says:

    Yes, the economy was so horrible in 2007, when we had 5% unemployment and the Dow at 13,000! Horrors!

    Notice the economy was fine until about the year after Democrats took over Congress. Hmmm….

  95. 95
    Violet says:

    @TR:

    Fox News sets up special email address: voterfraud@foxnews.com.

    It’s not quite burning down the building, but that email address should be signed up for every single spam email out there.

    Heh. Excellent idea.

  96. 96

    “Wrong soundbite! It happens.”

    LMAO.

  97. 97
    gogol's wife says:

    @Xenos: @buckyblue:

    Sorry, that was directed at Xenos, #34.

  98. 98
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @change: Reachin’, huh? The difference is that a conservative would be filming standing at the door of MSNBC with matches and fuel. When your side isn’t beating up women, killing guards at museums, or blowing up buildings, give me a call.

  99. 99
    TR says:

    @change:

    Cry me a river, princess. Did your panties get into this big of a wad when Sharron Angle was talking about “Second Amendment remedies”?

    Or when all those right-wingers — like James Von Brunn, Richard Poplawski, Jim Adkisson, Timothy McVeigh, Eric Rudolph, Byron Williams, etc. etc. — actually went out to commit terrorist acts against liberal Americans? When they actually gunned down liberals, when they actually blew up buildings?

    Did you even offer your little tut-tut then, or do you save your pearl-clutching routine for hyperbolic threats against conservatives?

    Go fuck yourself.

  100. 100
    Ash Can says:

    @Koz: Don’t worry; your typos should improve as the effects of your coma wear off. You were out of it for quite a while, you know.

  101. 101
    WaterGirl says:

    If a picture is worth a thousand words, then how many democratic votes do we think this b.s. is worth? It makes me want to run out and vote. Now I’m kind of mad that I already voted!

    It does make me happy, though, that I didn’t vote for any republicans; in the races where there was only one candidate, and that person was republican, I just didn’t cast a vote.

  102. 102
    TooManyJens says:

    I’m down with the anger, but not with the violent imagery. Not that I’ve never said “DIAF” myself, mind you, and I get that it’s obviously way over the top and you don’t mean it. Still. I’d be pretty damned uncomfortable seeing “I’ll be standing at the exit, handing out matches and cans of gasoline” on the blog of a right-winger who was mad at NPR for firing Juan Williams, y’know?

    @TR: We should send every instance of Tea Partiers fraudulently challenging voting rights, flyers that tell African-Americans that voting straight ticket Democratic is really a vote for Republicans, etc. to voterfraud@foxnews.com. Because they really, really care about the integrity of our elections, right?

  103. 103
    morzer says:

    @change:

    You really don’t get the distinction between free speech and fact-free speech, do you?

  104. 104
    Odie Hugh Manatee says:

    @change:

    Hey douchebag, point out one other time I have said that to you.

    You can’t.

    Now go do something that’s anatomically impossible for you to do without an electron microscope. While you are at it have mommy wipe the Cheetos dust off of your face, keyboard and monitor.

    Some kids…

    @Adam Collyer:

    You know who does ride a bus though? Megan McCardle. She gets all kinds of interesting insight from random imaginary bus riders who just happen to tell her things in perfect, soundbyte-oriented language that only she can understand.

    Repaired.

  105. 105
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @dmsilev:

    So, you’re saying that Fox must be carried back to the place it was forged and thrown into the volcano at Mt Doom?

    And if you happen across James Carville, running about on all fours and muttering to himself, count up all yer fingers (just to make sure) and keep ’em in yer pocketses.

  106. 106
    change says:

    How about that loon at the Discovery Channel building who wanted to kill people after seeing Algore’s movie.

    And do you know what the Unabomber’s favorite book was?

    Earth in the Balance!

  107. 107
    Martin says:

    @Violet: Can someone put them on a NAMBLA mailing list? Don’t want to try that kind of thing at work.

  108. 108
    Xenos says:

    @gogol’s wife: I fondly remember eating Arthur Treacher’s Fish and Chips at the Westfarms mall back in 1978. So the name should not be completely sullied, perhaps.

  109. 109
    timb says:

    @Southern Beale: less than 25% of their audience is under 54! Dear Lord, keep the government out of my medicare isn’t a slogan; it’s a mission statement

  110. 110
    Martin says:

    Ok, who let the trolls in the boat?

  111. 111
    morzer says:

    @change:

    Well, you know who else liked Earth in the Balance, don’t you?

  112. 112
    TooManyJens says:

    @Adam Collyer:

    You know who does ride a bus though? Megan McCardle. She gets all kinds of interesting insight from random bus riders who just happen to tell her things in perfect, soundbyte-oriented language.

    So what you’re saying is, she’s the Thomas Friedman of public transit.

  113. 113
    morzer says:

    @Martin:

    He’s just terrified by Angry Black Lady. Only trolls her threads, which is informative – and a huge epic win for her!

  114. 114
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @change: You aren’t really trying, are you?

    Oh, you are? I am so sorry. Please carry on. Do your best; it’s all we can ask of anyone.

  115. 115
    timb says:

    @change: Probably something like “Oh, it must Thursday,” since there’s hardly a day that goes by that some right wing, testosterone addicted wingnut isn’t excusing actual violence, threatening violence, or getting the vapors and concern trolling about “the left” doing it.

  116. 116
    Chyron HR says:

    @change:

    How about that loon at the Discovery Channel building

    The one who was opposed to “filthy immigrants” coming over here and “dropping their anchor babies”? Gosh, I wonder who got him all riled up about that?

  117. 117
    Davis X. Machina says:

    daveinboca was over here last night, so it looks like there’s a new shift of trolls coming on, some old — daveinboca’s been trolling since Noah shut the door on the ark — and some I’ve never seen before.

  118. 118
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @change: That loon at the Discovery Channel was in a league of his own. Seriously, attacking the Discovery Channel for not promoting sterilization? That would be like my dad attacking Starbucks for not making strong enough coffee.

  119. 119
    timb says:

    @change: You’re not silent and neither is Hannity. He’s lying about Obama on my radio right now

  120. 120
    Larry Bird says:

    In fairness to the people in that video, almost all of them are aware of the tv movie Roots.

  121. 121
    Jay says:

    In all of this, there is a joke about putting Republicans on the “short bus.” The President shouldn’t work that one out, but we here on the Balloon Juice Threadthingies can try.

    Also, new acronym: DIAEHF (Die In An Excruciatingly Hot Fire).

  122. 122
    morzer says:

    @Jay:

    Ahem, some of us (entry 23) were with the program early.

  123. 123

    angry black lady, i THOUGHT I loved you before. Now, i know i do. Will you marry me, and we can spend our honeymoon lighting FOX affiliates on fire?

    You are a woman after my own heart: have you read any Lucy Parsons?

  124. 124
    timb says:

    @change: Notice there was no real wage growth for any sector of the economy in an entire decade. The first time that EVER happened during a recovery. For your sake, change, I hope you make over the magic $250,000/year barrier. Otherwise, you’re just an idiot carrying water for your feudal lords.

    The Dow at 13000? It’s like 12000 now and the entire country sucks, except for the sort of Richie Richs who equate the economy with the Dow

  125. 125
    toones says:

    Ronnie Raygun getting rid of the “Fariness Doctrine” is the only reason FOX can even exist, right ?
    They would have been illegal before that – there was a time when it actually did have to be true to be on TV.

  126. 126
    morzer says:

    @timb:

    Change is being paid two Happy Meals per day, and thinks of himself as a successful businessman.

  127. 127
    Mark S. says:

    Change, you’re not going to make this a regular thing, are you? You’re a boring troll and I’m suspicious you used to go by Makewi.

  128. 128
    gogol's wife says:

    @Xenos:

    But what is the current reference? I keep seeing people talking about “Arthur Treacher trolling this thread,” etc. He died in 1975. And I’m pretty sure he would never have trolled a thread even if he were alive.

  129. 129
    curious says:

    how do you sit shotgun in a bus?

    when did civil rights protesters boycott the backseats of cars?

    can only black people be racist now?

    life’s imponderables.

  130. 130
    morzer says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    Jim Treacher is probably the intended reference. He did a drive-by slobbering yesterday.

  131. 131
    Punchy says:

    Just found out there’s a band opening for Les Claypool that’s called The Dead Kenny G’s. I find this extraordinarily funny.

    OK, back to being angry and shit.

  132. 132
    eemom says:

    @gogol’s wife:

    some idiot who writes for Fucker Tarlson’s Daily Caller blog was over here the other day taunting DougJ about being a “racist.” I’d never seen him b4 either but a lot of other folks seemed familiar with him. I googled and his real name is Sean something or other — don’t know where the Treacher thing came from.

  133. 133
    gogol's wife says:

    @morzer:

    Thank you. That’s too bad. I hate to see Arthur Treacher associated with anything disgusting (despite his fish and chips). He was very cool.

  134. 134
    Dennis SGMM says:

    @timb:
    Bear in mind that “Silent” for the lunatic fringe means not roughing up female protesters. Change is too busy forging his grandmother’s name on her Social Security check to give us the attention that we deserve.

  135. 135
    Redshift says:

    I happened across this bit of idiocy a couple of days ago when a friend of mine who is actually quite nice in other respects (works in animal rescue and stuff), but is a complete wingnut about politics, posted it to Facebook, with a “look what ‘our’ president had to say” and “he has such hate in him.”

    It took me literally fifteen seconds with Google to come up with the actual quote, not the truncated Foxified version, making it excruciatingly obvious how twisted their reading was. It was all I could do not to scream “You’re not that stupid! And ‘hate’? Have you never listened to a campaign speech before? Contrasting your party and your opponents’ is utterly mundane, it’s not ‘hate’. Anyone with half a brain can see he’s not saying “every Republican in the country, sit down and shut up,” he’s saying “Republican officials crashed the country and shouldn’t be put back in charge.”

  136. 136
    Benjamin Cisco says:

    You are bringing the heat indeed! Well done, heh.

  137. 137
    c u n d gulag says:

    I LOVE YOU, ANGRY BLACK LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sorry about that being all caps, it’s just that, I LOVE YOU, ANGRY BLACK LADY!!!!!!!!!!
    Oooop, did it again…

  138. 138

    I just voted here in Dallas, Texas. Straight Democratic (hi, Molly!). Then I went through and hit Libertarian on all the other races where there was no Democrat to vote for. There may have been one Green in there.

  139. 139
    freelancer says:

    ABL,

    Great post, you need to stay after you’re done house-sitting.

    And thanks for your kind remarks over at my place from last night. Coming from someone with your passion and enthusiasm for life, the universe, and everything, I am humbled. Thanks again.

  140. 140
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    @eemom: Just remember, we’re all murderers because we keep talking about people who murder.

  141. 141
    morzer says:

    Interesting poll out from Marist/McClatchy:

    http://maristpoll.marist.edu/1.....elections/

  142. 142
    Redshift says:

    @Punchy: That’s awesome! A much-needed laugh.

  143. 143
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    ABL, I thought you might enjoy this.

  144. 144
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Redshift: So if I understand this correctly, the hateful thing was that he said “back” as part of a transportation metaphor, and if you change it from a car to a bus it would have racist connotations, which someone black would complain about, but because he’s black no one is complaining about his use of a different metaphor, which shows that black people are the real racists?

    This is SO MUCH worse than “lipstick on a pig.” It’d be like hearing a politician say “Next week is going to be a bloodbath for the Democrats,” then saying that “week” is similar to “month,” and “month” in proximity to “blood” suggests menstruation, and OMG if you said it about a woman you would be such a sexist!! 1one! outrage!

  145. 145
    Mark S. says:

    @Joseph Nobles:

    When I lived in Dallas, I was in some goofy district that must have been gerrymandered to be 98% Republican. There were like two Democrats on the entire ballot, but the Libertarians had a candidate in every single race.

  146. 146
    Redshirt says:

    Re: Fox News ratings.

    While they might appear low compared to “The Office” or “Matlock”, it isn’t just the cable channel that’s spewing all the poison. A bigger concern I think is all the local Fox newstations, which serve as local platforms for the national cable channel.

    Add in the influence Fox and the local Fox affiliates have on their competitors, and I’d say their influence is quite dramatic, in every corner of the country.

    The problem is far bigger than just the cable channel.

  147. 147
    ed drone says:

    @morzer:

    Change is being paid two Happy Meals per day, and thinks of himself as a successful businessman.

    I thought he was a few fries short of a happy meal!

    Ed

  148. 148
    matoko_chan says:

    i liek you so much better than E.D.

    the “I Hate All of You” tag is purrrfect.

  149. 149
    HumboldtBlue says:

    I know I risk the ire of ABL, but “twatwaffle” is the intellectual property of one of the funniest, meanest and most ornery commenters at RumpRoast — Oblomova

  150. 150
    AxelFoley says:

    These dumb ass race-baiting twatwaffles with their faux concern-trolling and faux outrage

    Twatwaffles? LOL, good one, good one!

    I like this angry sistah. ;)

  151. 151
    matoko_chan says:

    One wrinkle for Obama, though, is that half of voters still say he has fallen below their expectations as president.

    doesnt mean they wont vote for him.
    i, personally, am going to wait to commit seppuku until the cellphone only people vote.
    “likely” voters are entirely people with landlines, because cellphones dont answer robocalls.
    consider Tancredo polling in Colorado, where i exist.

    Six polling firms have been active in Colorado within the last two weeks. Four of them — Public Policy Polling, Pulse Opinion Research (a subsidiary of Rasmussen Reports), Magellan Strategies, and SurveyUSA — use automated scripts to conduct their surveys rather than live interviewers. These surveys show Mr. Tancredo trailing Mr. Hickenlooper by an average of just 5 percentage points.
    But two other polling firms, CNN and Ipsos, conducted traditional polls, and did not find Mr. Tancredo quite so close. They gave Mr. Hickenlooper leads of 14 and 11 percent, respectively.

    1 in 4 American households has no landline.
    it is my hypothesis that these households vote heavily democratic, and and are severly underpolled by current pollstah methodology.
    That is 25% of the electorate.
    :)

  152. 152
    AxelFoley says:

    @cleek:

    my next band is gonna be called “Cap’n Cleek And His Terrible Twatwaffles”
    and our first single will be called “Set Them On Fire”.
    the chorus will be:
    LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE!
    GO GO GO!!
    LET’S SET THEM ON FIRE!
    GO GO GO!!

    Sir, you’ve just won the internets.

    :salutes the good captain:

  153. 153
    morzer says:

    @ed drone:

    But that’s because of Big Gubmint taxing him to death. Otherwise he’d be a millionaire by now.

  154. 154
    matoko_chan says:

    @Angry

    i think you misunderstand the purpose of FOXnews, Breitbart, etc.
    They are not actually trying to recruit black and brown and girlstyle and millenial voters……they know that isnt working.
    Like putting Palin in the VP was supposed to deliver the XX vote, and Michael Steele was supposed to deliver the black vote…..epic fails.

    They are trying to prove they aren’t racists with the inversion argument– “WE are not the racists, blacks and browns are the racists against whites.”
    It is part of their victimhood/inferiority complex.
    they spend a lot of energy fooling themselves into believing the tea party/GOP is not actually old, white and christian…..when it purely is.

  155. 155
    AxelFoley says:

    @djheru:

    cuntwaffles, mmmmmm….

    You eat them, too?

  156. 156
    jl says:

    I’m not sure what FOX is trying to do. I guess you need to dive into the numbers on their marketing analysis.

    I do not think many people other than the bitter white Sore Winner demographic takes this nonsense seriously. So this approach is probably not a sustainable business model for FOX.

    It is like they are mining a finite resource, which is the dying older bitter white Sore Winner group, which I am not sure is even a majority of the older white demographic. Most of them have enough common sense, and insufficient selfishness to go for this stuff, or at least not go for it with much enthusiasm.

    Then there is the infirm and scared older crowd, and the demented. But they are not enough.

    So, think how mine operator maximizes the value of a mineral reserve of a known extent. They gotta be thinking like that.

    Only other comment is that ABL seems excessively polite about it.

  157. 157
    Ash Can says:

    @jl: I’m sure the PTB at Fox figure they’ll have made their pile and retired by the time their demographic dies off. And if the less senior people working for Fox are left holding the ratings bag, who cares? Let them come up with their own scam.

  158. 158
    AxelFoley says:

    @change:

    See how the liberals hate free speech when it comes from a conservative: so much so they threaten terrorist acts to silence them.

    See, that’s the difference between liberals and conservatives when it comes to free speech, asshole–liberals may threaten, but conservatives do physically attack.

  159. 159
    AxelFoley says:

    @Koz:

    Fuck the racism business. The first thing Obama has to learn is that the economy is in the tank because of he’s doing. Maybe the lib team can learn some shame this election in addition to losing 60 House seats or whatever it’s gonna be.

    Um, you know the economy tanked well before Obama took office, right, assmunch?

  160. 160
    AxelFoley says:

    @change:

    How about that loon at the Discovery Channel building who wanted to kill people after seeing Algore’s movie.
    And do you know what the Unabomber’s favorite book was?
    Earth in the Balance!

    Ha, muthafucka, you’re reachin’ real hard.

  161. 161
    piratedan says:

    i’m beginning to think that the “both sides do it” meme is thanks to our comment contributers like “change” who spout this pap on every website looking to spread their concern trolldem all across the blogosphere.

    my feelings about Fox could probably be summed up by that Samuel Jackson line from “A Time to Kill”…. “yeah they deserved to die and I hope they burn in hell!”. because these morally baseless bastards sell fear for a living and sow hate and discontent every minute of every hour of every day. Other than that, they’re some righteous dudes.

  162. 162
    Redshift says:

    @FlipYrWhig: And (as one of my wingnut friend’s Facebook friends went on to say) if Bush had said anything like this, everyone would have been screaming “racist!” (so apparently, all the blatantly racist things wingnuts say don’t make them racist, or something.)

  163. 163
    Forsetti says:

    “dumb ass race-baiting twatwaffles” is my new go-to description of Faux News and all its neurologically challenged acolytes.

  164. 164
    quaint irene says:

    I really wish Fox News—the entire damn network—would die in an excruciatingly hot fire.

    I think one of those opening fissures in the ocean floor you mentioned in the upper thread, would suit them nicely.

    Or maybe having to spend time with Ivy, the bitch-face designer from this season’s Project Runway.

  165. 165
    quaint irene says:

    It’s not quite burning down the building, but that email address should be signed up for every single spam email out there.

    Best. Get a friend who’s African-Am, ask him to dress up in a black turtle neck and beret. Send same photo to Fox News with a screech about ‘a Black Panther intimidating voters by standing around!”

    Good times.

  166. 166
    PIGL says:

    @change: Then we’d all be on the same page. Except not quite, because our diarist is probably using hyperbole, whereas the other side probably isn’t.

  167. 167
    PIGL says:

    @change: you know what? You may be on to something there. It’s all those socialism rays….socialist mind control. Cause it sure isn’t any legislation.

    Luckily, my tinfoil hat renders me immune to the palest pink death rays emmanating from the limousine “liberals” in congress.

    I, however, am an actual socialist, and what would befall Murdoch and his Empire if I were Chairman of the Party is best left unspoken.

  168. 168
    PIGL says:

    @jl: that’s an interesting thought. But I think the real dividend is the leverage they get in other media, who drive the agenda for them. For Murdoch’s subsidy of his empire, he effectively controls the entire media enterprise in the Anglo speaking world.

    Which is why if I were President, their executive jets would be tragically dropping out of the sky.

    There is no above the line remedy any more for the damage these people are doing.

  169. 169
    Mnemosyne says:

    @change:

    I wonder what the reaction on the left would be if a conservative blogger said he wanted MSNBC to burn down and talked about “matches” and “gasoline” at the exit?

    You mean like when Ann Coulter said that she wanted Timothy McVeigh to blow up the New York Times building?

  170. 170
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    Oh, and I forgot — Coulter then proceeded to defend her words after 9/11 and insist that she didn’t regret them.

    Typical bully — you can dish it out but you can’t take it.

  171. 171
    John Bird says:

    We don’t mind the Republicans joining us. They can come for the ride, but they gotta sit in back.

    damn, owned

  172. 172
    Triassic Sands says:

    All I can say is thank the Baby J for Dana Perino’s invaluable insights. What an effin’ simpleton.

    Clearly, Obama needs to apologize and let Republicans ride shotgun, otherwise the tantrum will continue. Besides, given how his race is going in Nevada, I’m pretty sure Harry Reid will gladly take a seat in the back, as long as he gets a seat. And, I’d guess there would be lots of other Democratic volunteers.

    The most merciful outcome might be for Obama and Biden to resign. Pelossi can take over and be impeached and removed from office (Communism is its own reward) and the Supremes can magically find a special election in their originalist copy of the Constitution. Ben Nelson and a half a dozen other conservadems can switch parties and caucus with the GOP. Then, with a Republican president and both houses in GOP hands, we can all sit back and enjoy the spectacle of them blaming the implosion of the United States on Bill Clinton and Al Gore.

    Surely, that would be preferable to this slow death by a million tiny pricks (NPI).

  173. 173
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @morzer: You noticed that, too, eh? I think he has a crush on her and, in the time-honored tradition of fourth-grade boys everywhere, this is how he’s wooing her.

    Sigh. I can’t watch it. I just cannot. It would make me too stabby and head-asplodey and all that. There is something especially galling about such a lily-white bunch of people bleating about racism.

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