Not Like There Isn’t Anything Else to Do

Via PZ Myers, this odd story of a creepy Assistant Attorney General:

For nearly six months, Andrew Shirvell, an assistant attorney general for the state of Michigan, has waged an internet campaign against college student Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student assembly president at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

Using the online moniker “Concerned Michigan Alumnus,” Shirvell launched his blog in late April.

“Welcome to ‘Chris Armstrong Watch,'” Shirvell wrote in his inaugural blog post. “This is a site for concerned University of Michigan alumni, students, and others who oppose the recent election of Chris Armstrong — a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR — as the new head of student government.”

Among other things, Shirvell has published blog posts that accuse Armstrong of going back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”; hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students “to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.'”

Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox has declined to comment directly about Shirvell’s comments, saying he is pursuing legal action against the civil servant, who works on the blog during his off-hours.

If for nothing else, he should be fired for punching so far below his weight class. Seriously, a student body president?






89 replies
  1. 1
    SlothropRedux says:

    Sounds like a love gone wrong. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – it just is a pretty crappy/creepy way to exact revenge.

  2. 2
    General Stuck says:

    “Welcome to ‘Chris Armstrong Watch,’” Shirvell wrote in his inaugural blog post. “This is a site for concerned University of Michigan alumni, students, and others who oppose the recent election of Chris Armstrong—a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR —as the new head of student government.”

    So wingnut of him. “Give me back my University”

    never mind that “recent elections” have consequences.

  3. 3
    BR says:

    Shirvell shouldn’t have been wasting his time on a student body president when there are so many more important marijuana prosecutions to deal with…

  4. 4
    Emma (From FL) says:

    It sounds a bit…. lovestruck, if you ask me… in all the bad, stalkerish sort of ways…

  5. 5
    bemused says:

    I saw a bit of Anderson Cooper’s interview of Shirvell last night. Methinks that creepy stalker Shirvell desperately wants to engage in “flagrant sexual promiscuity” with the student assembly president.

  6. 6
    Guster says:

    A guy named Shrivell is fighting teh gay?

  7. 7
    Paul in KY says:

    Sounds like an asst attorney general has gone full-Narnia ;-)

  8. 8
    MTiffany says:

    Why are the words “Nip it in the bud! You got to nip it in the bud!” bouncing around in my head?

  9. 9
    Persia says:

    @bemused: I feel bad for the kid. Stalkers are bad enough, but a stalker in the attorney general’s office?

  10. 10
    General Stuck says:

    @Guster: It used to be “shrinkage” before he changed it.

  11. 11
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    OT: A caller to The Stephanie Miller show just called out Jane Hamster’s craziness. The woman said it was disturbing how personal Jane Hannity’s attacks have become. Hal Sparks mentioned that the Jane Hamster’s of the left have gone loco.

  12. 12
    stillnotking says:

    I saw this guy on CNN last night. I kept expecting him to ask to end the interview early so he could get back to his usual stall at the airport. Most obvious self-loathing closet case ever.

  13. 13

    …cue really embarrassing pictures from a clandestine meeting with a rent-boy in 3,2,1…

    Or: Cue horrible revelations of abuse in his childhood.

    As has been said about the Bishop Long case: there are no winners here.

  14. 14
    burnspbesq says:

    Gilbert & Sullivan is adaptable to every situation in modern life.

    Cue Mr. Shirvell:

    “I am the very model of a modern ‘torney gen’rul.”

    Sometimes, bemused mockery is the only way to go.

  15. 15
    New Yorker says:

    If for nothing else, he should be fired for punching so far below his weight class. Seriously, a student body president?

    No, because you can’t fathom the insane paranoia of these people. Just like the textbooks of Texas and their pro-Islamic agenda, the student boy president at UMich has the ability to destroy Real ‘Murika.

  16. 16
    Tom Traubert says:

    I’ve got to imagine there’s a libel suit in there somewhere.

  17. 17
    bemused says:

    @Persia:
    Yes. My first thought was that Shirvell is more than an extremely vocal gay hater. He’s an obsessed stalker. I hope the student is taking this seriously and guarding his safety.

  18. 18
    V.O.R. says:

    I dunno. Maybe there’s something to the assistant AG’s case: Didn’t you see that “radical homosexual activist, racist, elitist, & liar” was in all caps? *All caps* people!!

  19. 19
    Face says:

    And to think, after reading the first line of the post, I thought you’d be talking about the creepy DA or AG or whatever he is in Wisconsin, who keeps sexting his clients.

  20. 20
    Poopyman says:

    Shorter Shirvell:

    ” I am shocked – SHOCKED – to find blatant homosexual behavior on my alma mater’s campus.

    Why couldn’t I find it back when I was a student?”

  21. 21
    scav says:

    eek! An open homosexual has been explicitly successful at something, anything, somewhere, anywhere. ‘Merca is DOOMED!

    sheesh, their marriages and country (and self-esteem) are bloody fragile things. Poor dears. They can’t even manage to enjoy christmas unless constantly reassured and reminded.

  22. 22
    Punchy says:

    Methinks this Teabagger secretly wants to teabag.

  23. 23
    kay says:

    I’d look into whether he’s ever contacted a police agency, the Ann Arbor police or university police, for information or to provide information to pursue this vendetta.
    A lot of the entries on his site detail police contacts with his target. Is it all publicly available information? Were any of the police contacts initiated by him? In what capacity?
    Hopefully they’re looking at that.

  24. 24
    Violet says:

    That’s crazy. He’s got to be hiding something. Or he’s a scarily obsessed stalker.

  25. 25
    Corner Stone says:

    @V.O.R.:

    I dunno. Maybe there’s something to the assistant AG’s case: Didn’t you see that “radical homosexual activist, racist, elitist, & liar” was in all caps? All caps people!!

    So you’re saying the AG isn’t really a closeted stalker but just doing what he’s told by CAPSLOCK JESUS?

  26. 26
    geg6 says:

    Well, he’d have a field day at my campus, I’m guessing. Our current SGA president is an openly gay Pakistani American. And our captains of the division-winning (for the last 4 years!) women’s basketball team are engaged. To each other.

  27. 27
    Remember November says:

    He’s just sublimating, he loves the Cox! sorry, couldn’t help myself.

  28. 28
    RedKitten says:

    That poor kid. That’s got to be really frustrating and scary to have this happen to you, and he probably doesn’t feel he has any hope in hell of legal recourse, considering that his crazy stalker is an assistant AG.

  29. 29
    jrg says:

    I give it 6 months before Shirvell turns up at the E.R. wearing assless chaps with a carrot stuck in his pooper.

  30. 30
    Poopyman says:

    @jrg:

    … with a carrot stuck in his pooper.

    Carrots will be out of season. My money’s on a winter squash.

  31. 31
    dr. bloor says:

    sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”;

    Right.

  32. 32
    South of I-10 says:

    What a freaking nut job! Poor kid.

  33. 33
    fanshawe says:

    This is a serious, though probably unanswerable question:

    What do these people think the “gay agenda” actually is? Is it that everyone must become gay? Is it that everyone must stop hating gay people? Is it that everyone has to admit that gay people exist? Is it that every broadcast network has to show one hour of syndicated Bravo programming per day?

    I mean, I’m sure that I’d think “the gay agenda,” whatever it may be, is either unrealistic, not a bad thing, or both, but I’d really like to know specifically what it is.

  34. 34
    cmorenc says:

    Why wasn’t Shrivell focusing his energies instead on the real danger to ‘Murica: illegal immigrants who are gay.

  35. 35
    gex says:

    @fanshawe: If it helps, here’s my gay agenda:

    Breakfast, dog walk and shower in the morning, followed by work for 4 hours, lunch, more work, then home. At home I will hang out with my girlfriend/would-be-wife, have some dinner, play some Rock Band or watch some TV, do a bit of programming, then go to bed.

    Pretty subversive, and you can see how that naturally will lead to something pretty horrible for the rest of you.

  36. 36
    El Tiburon says:

    @fanshawe:

    What do these people think the “gay agenda” actually is?

    Revealing that most of them are really gay.

  37. 37
    El Tiburon says:

    @gex:

    If it helps, here’s my gay agenda

    That is SO gay.

  38. 38
    Origuy says:

    Not being gay, I thought the gay agenda was what went on at the meetings. You know, call to order, read the minutes of the last meeting, that sort of thing. Oh, and PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

  39. 39
    RedKitten says:

    What do these people think the “gay agenda” actually is?

    Evidently, they think that the big plan is to make homosexuality completely acceptable in our society.

    How that leads to the complete deterioration of that aforementioned society is not really explained. It’s sort of like an underpants gnomes-type train of thought, really.

    1. Gays are accepted as equals in society.
    2. ???????
    3. ARMAGEDDON!

  40. 40
    Sharl says:

    @fanshawe:
    Mrs. Betty Bowers, the world’s Best Christian™, investigated the Gay Agenda some years ago, and reported on her findings.

  41. 41
    quaint irene says:

    This moron sounds exactly like one of the contributors to Daily Kos’ weekly hate mail bag. With it’s sputtering homophobia combined with way too much homoerotic fantasizing.

    So now being ‘elite’ is something bad, what exactly are young people supposed to strive for? The dregs?

  42. 42
    Eagle Rock Jeff says:

    I for one will no longer stand by and allow. Communist infiltration. Communist subversion. And the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify OUR PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS!!!!!!

  43. 43
    Omnes Omnibus says:

    @gex: I am suspicious about that whole “lunch” thing. It is obviously a euphemism for something truly horrifying.

  44. 44
    JMC_in_the_ATL says:

    You should watch some of the interviews with this guy. He screams “self-hating closet case.” The most likely explanation to me is that he met Mr. Armstrong, fell in love, and was spurned.

  45. 45
    azman says:

    100 million says this guy pisses with a wide stance

  46. 46
    Betsy says:

    @fanshawe:

    What do these people think the “gay agenda” actually is?

    I give you the official homosexual agenda:

    “6:00 am Gym

    8:00 am Breakfast

    9:00 am Hair appointment

    10:00 am Shopping

    12:00 PM Brunch

    2:00 PM (Here’s the really important part)

    1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State and local Governments as well as all other national governments
    2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
    3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
    4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
    5) Establish planetary chain of “homo breeding gulags” where over -medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
    6) Bulldoze all houses of worship
    7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

    2:30 PM Get Forty Winks of Beauty Rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

    4:00 PM Cocktails

    6:00 PM Light Dinner

    8:00 PM Theater

    11:00 PM Bed”

  47. 47
    Punchy says:

    @fanshawe: I always envisioned the gay agenda to be lots of lesbians all having tickle and pillow fights in their underwear in the morning, followed by showers in the afternoon.

  48. 48
    Betsy says:

    @geg6:
    I like your school, whatever it is.

  49. 49
    David says:

    It’s so weird and very sad how sex and politics is mixed up in this guy’s mind not to mention the whole idea of supposedly being able to influence who other people are attracted to.

    Apparently Shervill attended Westboro Baptist Church rallies:
    http://www.politicalforum.com/.....ident.html

    Who could have predicted that college students might have- and experiment with- sex?

  50. 50
    JCT says:

    Where is this Assistant AG’s boss? Wouldn’t want to be accountable for such off-the-wall behavior or anything like that.

    I guess what I don’t understand is who is this guy really “playing” to — we don’t have undergraduates at my institution but at least from what I can tell from interacting with my college student’s friends and what she has told me about her school, (just like geg6’s place) no one gives a flying well, fuck, who’s banging whom any more.

    These guys better wake up and realize that their elderly homophobic base is disappearing and their dog whistles will not only stop working but start to blow up in their faces.

  51. 51

    Christ, you can tell he was scrabbling in his big bag o’ Scary Kw33r Stereotypes as he typed (quite possibly with one hand).

    flagrant sexual promiscuity with another male member [snerk] of the student government

    Uh, good. But wait. That’s only one guy and there’s no rule against students having sex … It needs something else. Aha!

    sexually seducing and influencing a previously conservative [male] student

    Ha, ha! First they came for the conservative male students, but if you say nothing they’ll come for YOU! Damn. Still only one guy though. I know!

    hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students to join the homosexual ‘lifestyle.

    Sex! Lots of hot sweaty gay sex! And he’s after your babies!

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Violet says:

    I just went to the bank and there was a TV on behind the teller counter that was showing a segment on this story. I think it was CNN. The woman at the teller next to me was glued to the TV and was shaking her head and tut-tutting about crazy people.

  54. 54

    Apparently e-Hate for the GLBs is a hobby for Shrivell. This is from February 2010. He goes after Michigan’s LCR.

    And all the way back in 2008.

    “Over the past decade, Kosofsky has been a zealous promoter of bizarre lifestyle choices here in Michigan, most notably by leading the “Triangle Foundation” — a Michigan clearinghouse that argues that homosexuals are entitled to special rights. Kosofsky has frequently clashed with (and viciously attacked) pro-life/pro-family champion Gary Glenn, the president of the American Family Association of Michigan http://www.afamichigan.org/. So I am glad that Kosofsky — the state’s most visible proponent of the radical homosexual agenda — is packing-up and leaving Michigan. But our state’s gain is truly North Carolina’s loss: Although Kosofsky will no longer earn his living by indoctrinating children with his perversity, he’ll be instead advocating for their deaths on-demand via legalized abortion.”

    But hey, according to GOProud, we just all need to hold hands with our Republibuddies and everything will be just fine.

  55. 55
    Sad_Dem says:

    Once again reality surpasses art. What short story writer would dare name the hysterical closet case Shrivell, and his victim Armstrong? Anyway, maybe Armstrong can set up a webcam in his dorm room so that Shrivell can closely monitor those orgies for illegal activity.

  56. 56
    fucen tarmal says:

    call me old fashioned, but when i think of flagrant sexual promiscuity, banging one other student really doesn’t qualify. hell most people in a college campus environment who are so inclined, and so inspired, can bang more than one person at a time….doesn’t meet the standard, sorry…

  57. 57
    aimai says:

    I saw the original Channel whatever local story on this (via youtube) and I was astonished that the *local tv slant* was that this was a form of cyberbullying–and they actually called the AG’s office and asked them why they were allowing one of their own guys to do it when the rest of the office had been shown talking seriously to schoolkids about how to prevent it. The entire gay thing was, from the perspective of the local newscasters, totally beside the point. I was thrilled. Last time I watched local news gayness was still something odd. They didn’t even bother to engage in a some say this/some say that about the behavior. They described Shrivell’s stuff, and gave details, as absolutely beyond the pale cyberstalking and harrassment. Scary and sad as this pathetic closet case is its really clear that he’s out of the mainstream and sinking fast.

    aimai

  58. 58
    Gozer says:

    Judging by what my cousin does, the gay agenda is much like my agenda on any given day…only more fashionable and tastefully decorated.

  59. 59
    geg6 says:

    @Betsy:

    Yeah, for a very, very small campus (of a very, very large state university) in small town Western PA, we have a very diverse and open campus climate. Can’t always say the same of the surrounding community, but I like working at a place that has more members in the LGBT Club than in the Jesus Club (yes, that really is it’s name).

  60. 60
    ruemara says:

    @Origuy:

    That’s actually my agenda, the black wiccan bi agenda. must’ve been a memo mixup.

  61. 61
    lacp says:

    Sounds like somebody’s getting ready to do the two-wet-suits-and-a-dildo fashion thingie….

  62. 62
    Roger Moore says:

    @jrg:

    I give it 6 months before Shirvell turns up at the E.R. wearing assless chaps two wetsuits with a carrot dildo stuck in his pooper.

    Fixt.

  63. 63
    Mako says:

    Asst DA’s are all about becoming DA and then governor or senator. The dude obviously thinks this is good for his political career.
    Also, he is flirting.

  64. 64
    Roger Moore says:

    @RedKitten:

    How that leads to the complete deterioration of that aforementioned society is not really explained. It’s sort of like an underpants gnomes-type train of thought, really.
    __
    1. Gays are accepted as equals in society.
    2. ???????
    3. ARMAGEDDON!

    I’m pretty sure that step 2) is that God becomes angry and punishes the country for failing to live according to his laws. The Bible- especially the later prophets- is full of predictions about all the terrible things that will happen to the nation if it fails to follow God’s laws. The wingnut fear that God will bring down his wrath for allowing teh ghey (or teh equal women, or whatever their latest bugaboo happens to be) is genuine and supported by biblical teachings.

  65. 65
    Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim) says:

    Yup, good money this guy is a raging closet case.

    Government and political employment sure does attract some psycho freaks.

  66. 66
    JCT says:

    @geg6:

    but I like working at a place that has more members in the LGBT Club than in the Jesus Club

    Similar to my place. Although apparently the members of our “Jesus Club” just wrote a letter (to a divorce court judge) in support of one of their upstanding members. Apparently said upstanding member screwed around on his wife (when she had a newborn no less) and she started divorce proceedings and a custody fight. The letter of support from the Jesus club (mind you, both parties were members) basically blamed the wife for not being religious enough (and therefore evil) and this drove her husband to cheat. I kid you not. They really start this stuff young.

  67. 67

    Frankly, I don’t care if he is a closet case. He’s a coward, a homophobe and sounds mentally ill. If he’s placing orders with Rentboy.com, I hope they’re sending someone with a black belt in Karate. And screw the Michigan AG’s office for keeping this guy on staff. They’re not concerned his very obvious biases might interfere with the prosecution of a case? Fuck them.

    Also2: People with the last name Shrivell already have a big old MOCK ME sign glued to their forehead without making it a point to annoy every gay person in the state.

  68. 68

    Hey, speaking of creepy stalkers exposed by Anderson Cooper, James O’Keefe’s plot to lure one of Coop’s reporters onto a boat and film himself trying to seduce her is all the rage right now. It was part of a “caper” to show that CNN is only interested in portraying “center-right” people in the worst light possible. Apparently there would have been a camera she would have known about and could have taken footage back with her (to manipulate and “expose” O’Keefe”), and then the ones she didn’t know about, to expose her and CNN as journalistic frauds.

    The same “caper” also had plans to record someone calling John Lewis the N-word after recording that person explaining it was a stunt to watch Lewis blow it out of proportion again. CNN has a document from O’Keefe’s production company spelling the whole, sick plan out.

    Odds are that O’Keefe will claim this document is part of the “real CNN caper”? 100%.

  69. 69
    Tsulagi says:

    What a dweeby little dufus. Watching the CNN clip he looked and sounded pretty much how I picture the majority of RSSF type real American warriors. Some of that type I’ve met. You know, the kind who imagine themselves to be Jack Bauer’s tougher brother.

    No doubt there’s more than one wetsuit hanging in that ass. AG’s closet and a drawer full of dildoes.

  70. 70
    SpotWeld says:

    As an interstring aside.
    The main student publication at U of M is The Michigan Daily. It has extensive coverage of this situation, including Armstrong’s public responce: http://www.michigandaily.com/c.....-criticism

    Of course U of M is a fairly liberal school, and the paper has reflected that. In responce there is another student run publication with a decidedly conservative viewpoint, The Michigan Review (http://www.michiganreview.com/) They have no aritcled on this topic.

  71. 71
    Lee says:

    I’m pretty sure that this is completely relevant.

    The new gay stereotype

  72. 72
    Stillwater says:

    @geg6: the Jesus Club

    Isn’t that what Christians use to righteously pound on teh homos?

  73. 73
    John Bird says:

    “Michigan – It’s Totally Fucked!”

  74. 74
    brantl says:

    I think this kid is way out of Shrivell’s (god, that’s funny!) weight class. I bet if Shrivell (still funny!) ran into him on the street, he’d crap his pants.

  75. 75
    John Bird says:

    @RedKitten:

    Well, there is a step #2, it’s just really hateful to a lot of Christians. The idea, as I’ve heard it explained, is that God is super not into gay people, so if we let gay people just go around and exist in public, God will attack America.

  76. 76
    Jeffro says:

    $1 bet says that Shrivell has a kid…or has a friend who has a kid…that was in some sort of relationship (1-night, long-term, or anything in between) with Armstrong.

    Betcha.

  77. 77
    Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan says:

    “sexually seducing and influencing “a previously conservative [male] student” so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, “morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda”;”

    Because teh gaysex is like Kryptonite to male conservative activists. Or so they think.

    Jesus, are these guys so insecure in their sexuality they think the possibility of getting teh gaysex will turn them?

  78. 78
    Corner Stone says:

    @fucen tarmal:

    hell most people in a college campus environment who are so inclined, and so inspired, can bang more than one person at a time

    People keep saying things like this.
    WHERE ARE THESE COLLEGES?

  79. 79
    Corner Stone says:

    @brantl:

    I bet if Shrivell (still funny!) ran into him on the street, he’d crap his pants.

    I’m thinking more like in American Psycho where he’s walking up behind that guy in the men’s room like he’s about to choke him to death. Dude turns around and thinks Psycho has the hots for him and immediately confesses his gay love and how he’s always wanted it to be this way between them.

  80. 80
    Tim says:

    @gex:

    gay agenda:…play some Rock Band

    Aha! I knew it. The gay agenda is why the youth of America are not playing Dance Dance Revolution anymore!

  81. 81
    Bruce (formerly Steve S.) says:

    Seriously, a student body president?

    No, a RADICAL HOMOSEXUAL ACTIVIST, RACIST, ELITIST, & LIAR.

    I’m working on a new hypothesis, that if we disable the caps lock on all computers the conservative movement will crumble.

  82. 82
    Mike says:

    Why does this story remind me of the plot of Karate Kid 3?

  83. 83
    burnspbesq says:

    @Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim):

    “Government and political employment sure does attract some psycho freaks.”

    I’ve forgotten – which agency do you work for?

  84. 84
    SRW1 says:

    @Guster:

    A guy named Shrivell is fighting teh gay?

    That’s exactly why!

  85. 85
    asiangrrlMN says:

    I gotta say, I really hope Chris Armstrong has friends on the police force. Shirvell sounds obsessed in a very stalkerish way. The fact that he hasn’t been at least reprimanded for this is also disturbing.

    @fanshawe: Well, I don’t have an actual agenda, but I can tell you that I have had two previously-straight women realize that they were attracted to women when they met me. So, let’s call that the unintentional side effect of my bi lifestyle. That’s me. Turning ’em one woman at a time.

  86. 86
    Sad_Dem says:

    Old joke: What’s the difference between a straight college boy and a gay college boy?
    Six beers.

  87. 87
    ChrisZ says:

    After watching Anderson Cooper’s interview of this guy, I think he might be not-quite-right in the head. It seems like he justifies things by pointing out that other people do them as if that’s the evidence he uses to decide whether they are appropriate. He doesn’t seem to have his own sense of morality to draw from.

    He was certainly very different from people like the Westborough Baptist clan, who understand that their tactics are extreme but thinks they are justified anyway.

    Just the sense I got.

  88. 88
    Tehanu says:

    @El Tiburon:

    And we have a winnah!

  89. 89
    EJ says:

    http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/201.....y-student/

    Here’s the interview, for anyone who might doubt the earlier commenters who said this guy is just about the most obvious closet case you’ve ever seen.

    To the point where you almost wonder if this isn’t some bizarre performance art stunt.

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