You forgot to make a backhanded swipe and imply that your victory is hollow because you didn’t get everything you wanted. And, that Obama’s advocacy wasn’t vociferous enough.
Actually if it said “P.S. Just kidding, your pal Karl Rove” at the bottom, then it would be win.
11.
Martin
Ok, I forget who has Cole’s credit card information. You’re up next. Let’s get those things locked.
12.
Violet
Excellent news. I guess they got tired of the Googlebombs. Glad to know it only took them six months (eight? a year?) to get their act together.
I guess this means the Republicans are like Paypal. WhenIf When they win in November, they’ll go all Payal on us and shut everything down until we prove we’re who we say we are.
13.
Loneoak
Did you have to shower with Rahm to get that cleared up?
14.
Benjamin Cisco
He is who he thought he was!
__
Or something.
15.
FlipYrWhig
Oh, sure, you call it “victory,” but by getting back into business with PayPal, you only prop up the existing corporate oligarchy. Heighten the contradictions, man.
16.
mr. whipple
Awesome. John used his bully pulpit and the opposition crumbled.
Congratulations. But I hate these scenarios that involve spending endless, frustrating hours on the phone — just to get you where you should have been in the first place.
I shiver at the idea of getting on Paypal’s dark side. I know I’d never get it straightened out.
19.
BGinCHI
Waiting to Exhale, the John Cole Story, wherever books are bought and sold this Christmas.
Who would do the audiobook?
20.
BGinCHI
@jacy: What’s next, an Iowa Taliban fatwa against Bugs Bunny for his cruel treatment of white American Patriot hunter Elmer Fudd?
King: “But I saw the film! Justice must be served on that wascally wabbit!”
21.
Midnight Marauder
You should have definitely replied to that e-mail.
don’t celebrate to long or loud… tomorrow’s another day and they may not be done with you yet…
27.
gnomedad
I’m just glad that Experian and Paypal both now agree that my fat ass is not living in a post office box.
Minimalist living is trendy these days. Though your pets could be a problem. Is Todd Henderson aware of this lifestyle option?
28.
DonkeyKong
After a century of striving, after a year of debate, after a historic vote, John Coles paypal account is no longer an unmet promise. It is the law of the land.
Barack Obama
ok I made that up…
29.
D-Chance.
So, you’re going to continue doing business with them, after all the crap you’ve been put through by them?
Well, it’s not crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentation of their women, but if John’s happy…
35.
The Other Chuck
I ran into the “limited account” thing just a few days ago. I just recently moved, so I got a new phone, new address, and I changed these things on PayPal, and they considered it just fine. Then I transferred a thousand bucks into the account and now all of a sudden they decide they have to freeze it, for whatever reason.
And of course their resolution process online doesn’t work. It’s really amusing to be told you can verify your address by adding a credit card, then being told that you can’t add a card because your account is limited.
Then there’s the fact that they hide all their phone numbers. If you’re really lucky, you can convince the help system to spit out a support number and a “Web PIN” that will tie you into another automated system that’s just a little less broken. God forbid you want a human though.
Oh yeah and I discovered where paypal phishers get their “updating our security measures” and “verify your account details” verbiage: from PayPal’s very own fucking emails. Word for word.
I thought the horror stories were squeaky wheel syndrome, but PayPal really does indeed suck like nothing I’ve ever seen before and I hope to god since.
36.
Roger Moore
Now you just need to take all your money out and start using a service that doesn’t treat you like you’re a present Tunch left on the carpet. Or maybe now that you’re an Obot you’ve started expecting that kind of treatment.
I didn’t know Lily and Tunch had taken over your Paypal account.
41.
Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)
John, you really need to post some pictures of your bare “fat ass” so that the Balloon Juice community as a (w)hole can judge for itself whether or not your description is accurate.
It may just be that you have body/ass-image issues as a result of looking at covers of Men’s Health Magazine and online porn, and that your own ass is indeed fine as it is.
But(t) again, you’ll have to post clear photographs if we’re to be any help to you at all, John.
However, if there are any unsightly pimples or ingrown hairs, please do take care of those before posting.
Thanks!
42.
Keith G
I’ll sleep easier now.
43.
JPL
John, What’s happening with the new stray, Luella? Enquiring minds want to know. She certainly did make herself at home.
YAY! Now Tunchie can once again access his account. Speaking of Tunchie….
45.
kdaug
Rather quick to identify yourself as one of the “good guys”, no?
You’re on a permanent probationary period in my book, given your previous asinine opinions. Conservativeholism is a lifelong disease, and I’m keeping a close eye out for slippage.
I haz Obama-Fatigue and if he was sitting on a stool in front of me I would complain about how hard I’ve had to work defending him, because of course it is all his fault I am exhausted by all the baseless attacks against him. Can I haz an update on Ellie and pix of the J. Cole clan? kthnx.
50.
quaint irene
“Please do not reply to this email.”
Screw ’em. Reply away!
But huzzah’s on getting that mess resolved.
Love that the ad that appears right under the ‘Victory is Mine!’ post is
‘Visit Rome.’
51.
quaint irene
en the Discover card commercial? The one with the hut in Siberia with
“Yeeesss. This is Peggy. What is problem, please??”
52.
shirt
You are no longer considered unmutual.
53.
JPL
@TaMara (BHF): So true. President Obama could solve the middle east crisis and it would somehow be his fault that he didn’t solve it sooner.
54.
FlipYrWhig
@JPL: People _would_ say it was his fault, because as King Abdullah was saying on Daily Show, neither side is going to get everything they want out of the deal; they’ll have to come back to their people and explain that they did the best they could. We don’t like that in America. Some people would say that Israel got too much because Obama clearly favors Jews, some people would say that the Palestinians got too much because Obama clearly favors Arab-Muslim-terrorist-decolonizers, and the flaws would all be laid at his feet because whenever you’re not fully satisfied, that’s when it must be someone else’s fault.
55.
Comrade Mary
I’m happy for you, John, and I’m a letta you finish, but I have to say that you need to provide photographic proof of your Realness. Nothing skanky, but a hand or forearm or something, We’ve already seen your calves (which are nice, BTW.)
We’ve already seen your calves (which are nice, BTW.)
Comrade Mary, I want to inform you that the internet is a place of equality and there are some fine pOrn links for the ladies also too. Me, those hairy drumsticks were quite enough of Cole to see for confirmation of existence. Sometimes, an asshole is better heard than seen. I offer myself as proof of theorem.
57.
Ripley
It puts the lotion on its skin
before it buys online again.
58.
eemom
ot, but OMG Colbert was AWESOME today!!
I would SO marry him and have his babies, except that he’s married and I’m married and too old for any more babies.
Yeah, let’s talk about how “High Broderish” this Oct. 30 rally is gonna be.
Thoughts? Derision? Scorn?
Trying to consolidate some of the discussions here about why you’d give an anti-gov wingnut an elected position in gov, but in youtube form.
How did you think Meg Whitman got all of those millions of dollars she’s trying to buy the California governorship with? Those things don’t come cheap.
Turned on the radio in the car today and heard about five seconds of a local rightwing talk guy before I flipped the station. He was going on about Colbert and how he (Colbert) thought he was so funny and he (the talker) was sure that Colbert’s show made a lot of college girls want to give him their phone numbers, but it wasn’t funny/appropriate/whatever.
This is a complete change of subject, but I have a question I’m sure the community can both weigh in on and answer! I’m a regular and somehow missed the exit of E.D. Kain. What happened? It was kinda interesting to read him even if I often disagreed.
@General Stuck: Except that he actually didn’t, unless one considers his very appearance to be a mockery. Yes, he mostly stayed in character, but he actually take advantage and make some pretty sober comments when he had the chance to.
@ColleenSTL: I have no problem with mocking congress, and whether and how much Colbert did, (I haven’t watched the clip yet) I can think of no better qualified congress mocker than Colbert. I hope he caused the self important critters we elect to swallow their arrogant huffs and puffs and choke on them.
I can think of no better qualified congress mocker than Colbert.
Meh, he’s a rank amateur. Congress has been mocking itself far longer and more comprehensively than anything Colbert can ever hope to achieve. If anything, he classed that shithole up a bit while he was there.
@ColleenSTL: Yep. I agree. I saw one clip, and I saw how he managed to get some very important, cognizant points in while being funny. Way to go, Stephen!
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Steve
You know what would be an unqualified win? If the email started
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
Because you iz teh good guys!
Politically Lost
You forgot to make a backhanded swipe and imply that your victory is hollow because you didn’t get everything you wanted. And, that Obama’s advocacy wasn’t vociferous enough.
Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther
@Politically Lost: Well, there is that.
Pavlov's Dog
Since you are so good at solving problems, can you help me with the million dollar check I’m expecting from the widow of the Nigerian general?
jl
They appear to make two mistakes in that email.
It implies that this “John Cole”, should he exist and if so, not exist solely in a post office box, has patience.
And that it is humanly possible to have anything resembling patience that endures through to the end of their review process.
fourlegsgood
Well, I’m glad UR not living in a post office box either. Where would you have room for Tunch’s toys?
BombIranForChrist
Yeah!
Zifnab
Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, he’s free at last.
Zandar
Actually if it said “P.S. Just kidding, your pal Karl Rove” at the bottom, then it would be win.
Martin
Ok, I forget who has Cole’s credit card information. You’re up next. Let’s get those things locked.
Violet
Excellent news. I guess they got tired of the Googlebombs. Glad to know it only took them six months (eight? a year?) to get their act together.
I guess this means the Republicans are like Paypal.
WhenIf When they win in November, they’ll go all Payal on us and shut everything down until we prove we’re who we say we are.Loneoak
Did you have to shower with Rahm to get that cleared up?
Benjamin Cisco
He is who he thought he was!
__
Or something.
FlipYrWhig
Oh, sure, you call it “victory,” but by getting back into business with PayPal, you only prop up the existing corporate oligarchy. Heighten the contradictions, man.
mr. whipple
Awesome. John used his bully pulpit and the opposition crumbled.
jacy
It’s a trap, Cole. Mark my words.
In other news, Steve King (Asshole – IA) is a bit confused about what Stephen Colbert does for a living.
Cong. Steve King (R-IA) claims Colbert right-wing persona actually just a put-on.
Is the clown car out of clowns yet?
Beauzeaux
Congratulations. But I hate these scenarios that involve spending endless, frustrating hours on the phone — just to get you where you should have been in the first place.
I shiver at the idea of getting on Paypal’s dark side. I know I’d never get it straightened out.
BGinCHI
Waiting to Exhale, the John Cole Story, wherever books are bought and sold this Christmas.
Who would do the audiobook?
BGinCHI
@jacy: What’s next, an Iowa Taliban fatwa against Bugs Bunny for his cruel treatment of white American Patriot hunter Elmer Fudd?
King: “But I saw the film! Justice must be served on that wascally wabbit!”
Midnight Marauder
You should have definitely replied to that e-mail.
General Stuck
Famous last words. Mission Accomplished.
Jager
@jacy:
No
Jager
@Beauzeaux:
Seen the Discover card commercial? The one with the hut in Siberia with a disgusting Siberian slacker and 100 ringing and blinking 70’s era phones.
Allan
What? No public option?
sukabi
don’t celebrate to long or loud… tomorrow’s another day and they may not be done with you yet…
gnomedad
Minimalist living is trendy these days. Though your pets could be a problem. Is Todd Henderson aware of this lifestyle option?
DonkeyKong
ok I made that up…
D-Chance.
So, you’re going to continue doing business with them, after all the crap you’ve been put through by them?
Yeah, this is a ‘victory’…
jayboat
Let’s test it. Imma send you a money request.
TooManyJens
Bring him all the muffins and bagels in the land!
burnspbesq
@jacy:
“Is the clown car out of clowns yet?”
That’s a rhetorical question, right?
AhabTRuler
This.
That is all.
WereBear
Well, it’s not crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentation of their women, but if John’s happy…
The Other Chuck
I ran into the “limited account” thing just a few days ago. I just recently moved, so I got a new phone, new address, and I changed these things on PayPal, and they considered it just fine. Then I transferred a thousand bucks into the account and now all of a sudden they decide they have to freeze it, for whatever reason.
And of course their resolution process online doesn’t work. It’s really amusing to be told you can verify your address by adding a credit card, then being told that you can’t add a card because your account is limited.
Then there’s the fact that they hide all their phone numbers. If you’re really lucky, you can convince the help system to spit out a support number and a “Web PIN” that will tie you into another automated system that’s just a little less broken. God forbid you want a human though.
Oh yeah and I discovered where paypal phishers get their “updating our security measures” and “verify your account details” verbiage: from PayPal’s very own fucking emails. Word for word.
I thought the horror stories were squeaky wheel syndrome, but PayPal really does indeed suck like nothing I’ve ever seen before and I hope to god since.
Roger Moore
Now you just need to take all your money out and start using a service that doesn’t treat you like you’re a present Tunch left on the carpet. Or maybe now that you’re an Obot you’ve started expecting that kind of treatment.
schrodinger's cat
@Benjamin Cisco: DS9 fan?
khead
I thought this was going to be a thread about Civ V.
Patrix
I second Roger Moore. Check out Venmo.com
slag
I didn’t know Lily and Tunch had taken over your Paypal account.
Glenndacious Greenwaldian (formerly tim)
John, you really need to post some pictures of your bare “fat ass” so that the Balloon Juice community as a (w)hole can judge for itself whether or not your description is accurate.
It may just be that you have body/ass-image issues as a result of looking at covers of Men’s Health Magazine and online porn, and that your own ass is indeed fine as it is.
But(t) again, you’ll have to post clear photographs if we’re to be any help to you at all, John.
However, if there are any unsightly pimples or ingrown hairs, please do take care of those before posting.
Thanks!
Keith G
I’ll sleep easier now.
JPL
John, What’s happening with the new stray, Luella? Enquiring minds want to know. She certainly did make herself at home.
asiangrrlMN
YAY! Now Tunchie can once again access his account. Speaking of Tunchie….
kdaug
Rather quick to identify yourself as one of the “good guys”, no?
You’re on a permanent probationary period in my book, given your previous asinine opinions. Conservativeholism is a lifelong disease, and I’m keeping a close eye out for slippage.
rootless_e
How to punch hippies
Stupid paypal.
L. Ron Obama
@kdaug: NEVER FORGET
rootless_e
@kdaug: you are a douche. No offense intended.
TaMara (BHF)
I haz Obama-Fatigue and if he was sitting on a stool in front of me I would complain about how hard I’ve had to work defending him, because of course it is all his fault I am exhausted by all the baseless attacks against him. Can I haz an update on Ellie and pix of the J. Cole clan? kthnx.
quaint irene
“Please do not reply to this email.”
Screw ’em. Reply away!
But huzzah’s on getting that mess resolved.
Love that the ad that appears right under the ‘Victory is Mine!’ post is
‘Visit Rome.’
quaint irene
“Yeeesss. This is Peggy. What is problem, please??”
shirt
You are no longer considered unmutual.
JPL
@TaMara (BHF): So true. President Obama could solve the middle east crisis and it would somehow be his fault that he didn’t solve it sooner.
FlipYrWhig
@JPL: People _would_ say it was his fault, because as King Abdullah was saying on Daily Show, neither side is going to get everything they want out of the deal; they’ll have to come back to their people and explain that they did the best they could. We don’t like that in America. Some people would say that Israel got too much because Obama clearly favors Jews, some people would say that the Palestinians got too much because Obama clearly favors Arab-Muslim-terrorist-decolonizers, and the flaws would all be laid at his feet because whenever you’re not fully satisfied, that’s when it must be someone else’s fault.
Comrade Mary
I’m happy for you, John, and I’m a letta you finish, but I have to say that you need to provide photographic proof of your Realness. Nothing skanky, but a hand or forearm or something, We’ve already seen your calves (which are nice, BTW.)
(I bet you he has freckles. I bet you LOTS.)
General Stuck
@Comrade Mary:
Comrade Mary, I want to inform you that the internet is a place of equality and there are some fine pOrn links for the ladies also too. Me, those hairy drumsticks were quite enough of Cole to see for confirmation of existence. Sometimes, an asshole is better heard than seen. I offer myself as proof of theorem.
Ripley
It puts the lotion on its skin
before it buys online again.
eemom
ot, but OMG Colbert was AWESOME today!!
I would SO marry him and have his babies, except that he’s married and I’m married and too old for any more babies.
Yeah, let’s talk about how “High Broderish” this Oct. 30 rally is gonna be.
eemom
@Comrade Mary:
we did get an elbow once. Tease.
kdaug
@rootless_e: Guilty as charged.
ruemara
OT:
Thoughts? Derision? Scorn?
Trying to consolidate some of the discussions here about why you’d give an anti-gov wingnut an elected position in gov, but in youtube form.
General Stuck
@eemom:
Forget it. This crowd is currently embalmed, anxious for the impending democrat funeral.
Mnemosyne
@The Other Chuck:
How did you think Meg Whitman got all of those millions of dollars she’s trying to buy the California governorship with? Those things don’t come cheap.
Violet
@eemom:
Turned on the radio in the car today and heard about five seconds of a local rightwing talk guy before I flipped the station. He was going on about Colbert and how he (Colbert) thought he was so funny and he (the talker) was sure that Colbert’s show made a lot of college girls want to give him their phone numbers, but it wasn’t funny/appropriate/whatever.
The talker guy sounded jealous.
ColleenSTL
This is a complete change of subject, but I have a question I’m sure the community can both weigh in on and answer! I’m a regular and somehow missed the exit of E.D. Kain. What happened? It was kinda interesting to read him even if I often disagreed.
Svensker
@jacy:
That’s just hilarious. I also love that Colbert said that being called a “corn packer” in “Iowan” was short for gay farmer. I’m dying here.
eemom
COLBERT MAKES MOCKERY OF CONGRESS
http://www.politico.com/click/stories/1009/reporters_not_amused_by_colbert.html
and that is just the teeny tiny surface of the spittle-spewing, pants-wetting, hissyfitting mass temper tantrum going on over at memeorandum right now.
tee hee. Life is gooooood.
Svensker
@kdaug:
Hope that’s not related to shrinkage, especially considering Tim’s post.
General Stuck
@eemom:
No one could have predicted.
ColleenSTL
@General Stuck: Except that he actually didn’t, unless one considers his very appearance to be a mockery. Yes, he mostly stayed in character, but he actually take advantage and make some pretty sober comments when he had the chance to.
General Stuck
@ColleenSTL: I have no problem with mocking congress, and whether and how much Colbert did, (I haven’t watched the clip yet) I can think of no better qualified congress mocker than Colbert. I hope he caused the self important critters we elect to swallow their arrogant huffs and puffs and choke on them.
fasteddie9318
@General Stuck:
Meh, he’s a rank amateur. Congress has been mocking itself far longer and more comprehensively than anything Colbert can ever hope to achieve. If anything, he classed that shithole up a bit while he was there.
eemom
@fasteddie9318:
Eggzacktly, and therein lies the beauty of the republicans and emmessemmbots howling about Colbert’s “mockery.”
asiangrrlMN
@ColleenSTL: Yep. I agree. I saw one clip, and I saw how he managed to get some very important, cognizant points in while being funny. Way to go, Stephen!