You’ll Get Your Limited Government and You’ll Get It Good and Hard

Somewhere around the time I cracked the second bottle of wine I started watching Blade Runner, and the scene where Leon was told “The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping…” I yelled out “give the fucker a tax cut and tell him to pull himself up by his boot straps.”

I’m seriously psyched about all these teahadist victories, and I want each and everyone of you to vow to help me to never let anyone forget that the jerkoffs at Reason have been pimping the tea parties from day one. I wonder how Angle, O’Donnell, and Miller feel about marijuana legalization, John Stagliano’s occupation, torture, civil liberties, no-knock raids, warrentless wiretaps, military adventurism, and all those things you all pretend to care about?

Oh, you’re gonna get your limited government, Christian style, and you’re gonna get it good, you morons- I may even chip in for the wetsuits and dildo for you special cases at Hit and Run. I can’t blame crazy people for being bat shit crazy, but I sure as hell can heap some scorn on pricks like the Reason writers for running rhetorical cover for the lunatics and helping to mainstream their insanity (I know, I know- you don’t PERSONALLY believe Obama is a Kenyan!). Y’all might as well write for Red State.

I just hope you chumps lose the leather jackets and designer wayfarer prescription specs, because those look vaguely French. Your days of esoterically talking about the virtues of Ayn Rand at DC wine and cheese parties are over, because you’re now bitches for Real ‘Murrika. Yeefuckinghaw! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Douchebags.

156 replies
  1. 1
    Redshirt says:

    Righteous fury, brah. I duly dig and give ya a “Can I get an AMEN!”

  2. 2
    freelancer says:

    Somewhere around the time I cracked the second bottle of wine I started watching Blade Runner, and the scene where Leon was told “The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping…”

    Pace yourself fool. That’s like the 1st scene of Blade Runner. Hope you have a lot of bottles.

    Oy Vey.

    Also, TPM has video of O’Donnell on MTV.

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.....he-90s.php

  3. 3
    valdivia says:

    Amen! Love it when you rant Cole.

  4. 4
    Cliff says:

    LOL.

    Nailed it.

  5. 5
    calling all toasters says:

    Um, OK, but who gives a shit whether Reason gets its comeuppance? “Libertarian” “intellectuals” are just dingleberries hiding in the ass of the Great American Ignorance. It’s the big stupid beast that needs to be the target.

  6. 6
    uila says:

    Awesomer and awesomer

    Looking forward to Rand Paul teaching O’Donnell about Aqua Buddha in Senate chambers.

  7. 7
    Ahasuerus says:

    Be careful what you wish for – you might get it.

    Ain’t karma a bitch?

  8. 8
    TR says:

    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

    Sharing ammo is soc!alist. Go buy your own, you fucking welfare queen.

  9. 9
    eastriver says:

    Wow. When you’re not bitching and moaning, JC, you’re apparently drunk and ranting. Well-played.

    Crack the third bottle of wine and watch the director’s cut of Patch Adams.

  10. 10
    JGabriel says:

    … I want each and everyone of you to vow to never let anyone forget that the jerkoffs at Reason have been pimping these lunatics from day one.

    I never talk to anyone from Reason, except for the rare occasions when Balko shows up here to comment.

    But if I ever do, I’ll keep that vow.

    .

  11. 11
    John Bird says:

    Not really ‘psyched’ about the introduction of Paulism to senatorial elections, but yeah, the Real Libertarians will now be in uncomfortable positions if their candidates win.

    The thing is, though, they have that American Marxist thing where they really get off on outdoing each other on ideological purity. They will abandon these folks without a trace of regret and congratulate themselves for doing so, over at least two back-to-back issues that will put Republican names on the cover to help them sell.

    And also, they’ve lost control of the term. Do you want to know who describes themselves as a libertarian now? Every one of these candidates and 75% of the people who voted for them. And none of those people are going to trust something no one has ever heard of called ‘Reason Magazine’.

  12. 12
    Zandar says:

    Teabagger Ovide Lamontagne is still ahead of Kelly Ayotte in NH and in NY, Carl Palladino is obliterating Rick Lazio in the upstate.

    The Tea Party is taking over. 2012 is going to be awesome. And by awesome I mean “on fire with bees made of fire.”

  13. 13
    Kristine says:

    I yelled out “give the fucker a tax cut and tell him to pull himself up by his boot straps.”

    I hope you didn’t alarm the lady pups when you yelled.

    Awesome rant.

  14. 14
    Sly says:

    I wonder how Angle, O’Donnell, and Miller feel about marijuana legalization, John Stagliano’s occupation, torture, civil liberties, no-knock raids, warrentless wiretaps, military adventurism, and all those things you all pretend to care about?

    I’m sure O’Donnel thinks all those activities are fine so long as the you’re not thinking NAUGHTY THOUGHTS while engaging in them.

  15. 15
    Paul W. says:

    John, the sloshing good rant you just gave here is matched by my own chuckling and bemusement at how these media talking heads have created a beast they do not really even understand. FOX is already switching to back these Teaparty candidates… but I don’t understand why. I really don’t get how LOSING ELECTIONS is a good investment of their time and money.

    Is it all just the sensationalism and the ring-fencing of that 27% of the nation that trusts FOX and other conservative outlets above all other? Is their plan to just milk this group into oblivion? Because there is no long term here, come 2012 their profits are going to dwindle as their audience dies out or advertisers move online to folks like myself (the scarcely 25 and under crowd).

    OT – has anyone seen that ONLY ON FOX is the evil security card for the new Shyamalan movie “Devil” speaking Spanish? I can’t believe they cut the trailer like this at all, but it seems to have turned a movie preview into yet another anti-immigrant piece of propaganda.

    Paul +2

  16. 16
    Hawes says:

    I propose an ActBlue page to keep Mssr. Cole constantly +3 until November.

    We’ll all need something to smile about…

  17. 17
    zed says:

    Hey John, why don’t you tell us how you REALLY feel?

  18. 18
    zed says:

    Hey John, why don’t you tell us how you REALLY feel?

  19. 19
    Rey says:

    So it’s okay that I’m on my third shot of bourbon? I’m working on being dead by the time President Palin is sworn in January 2013…

    Rey +3

  20. 20
    minachica says:

    On the US primaries (esp. Delaware) from across the pond (The Independent): From the US comes a nasty whiff

    …even at this remove it is apparent that America is suffering some kind of paranoid psychotic episode.

  21. 21
    morzer says:

    Has Mullah O’Donnell issued a fatwa against the unrepentant masturbationist Nick Gillespie yet?

  22. 22
    ChicagoPat says:

    Money quote (shot?) of the evening: Paul Begala: “If Christine O’Donnell can’t stand masturbation, she’ll hate the US Senate”

  23. 23
    SIA says:

    I can’t tell how you really feel.

  24. 24
    bjkeefe says:

    Must. Resist. Temptation. To. Make. Peak. Wingnut. Joke.

  25. 25
    J.W. Hamner says:

    The turtle was only on it’s back because it had to engage in the FRAUD and THEFT that is fiat money/central banking… a return to the gold standard would flip that turtle over in a heartbeat and make everything super awesome even for the non-turtles everywhere. The only reason you don’t know this is because of the propaganda of Kenyan anti-colonialists.

  26. 26
    Allison W. says:

    Where’s DougJ?

    Paladino is crushing Lazio.

  27. 27
    beltane says:

    Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what does Megan McArdle have to say about all this?

  28. 28
    JGabriel says:

    Zandar:

    … in NY, Carl Palladino is obliterating Rick Lazio in the upstate.

    The GOP establishment does nothing but glorify businessmen all the day long, and then they’re shocked when businessmen run and beat them in their primaries. It’s kind of schadenfreudenly ironic.

    .

  29. 29
    Bob Loblaw says:

    Here’s the thing though: the charade can’t survive this.

    No Republican senator (outside of senile-ass Bunning) would ever actually vote to not raise the debt limit. They’d never actually let the country default. It’s all just optics, and both parties go along with it because that’s what the money demands. How many Republican senators, in a moment of genuine honesty and reflection, didn’t think the health insurance reform was a net-positive for the country? Probably about the same number of Democrats who genuinely wanted to go to war with Iraq in 2002.

    Rand Paul will absolutely let this country go into default. What are they going to do, call his dad in from across the street to give him a talking to?

  30. 30
    morzer says:

    @ChicagoPat:

    Oh she’ll lie back and take it for Jesus.

  31. 31
    Lolis says:

    I bet the DNC and President Obama are sippin champagne as we speak.

  32. 32
    morzer says:

    @beltane:

    Are you asking hypothetically, or statistically?

  33. 33
    New Yorker says:

    John, if you’re watching Blade Runner and yelling about tax cuts during the replicant test scenes, maybe you need to take a month long break from blogging about politics? Just a thought….

  34. 34
    wasabi gasp says:

    Drunk hippie, have a blingee.

  35. 35
    freelancer says:

    Chuck Berry – My Ding a Ling

    Tori Amos – Icicle

    Found at Cracked’s 15 Best Songs about committing lust in your heart.

    Personally, I would have went with “Dancing with myself”.

  36. 36
    merrinc says:

    I come home from a well run meeting (volunteer stuff, not work) feeling good about how it went and find my husband beaming at the teevee and my favorite blog full of some truly fine front page posts. Damn, did xmas come a little early?

  37. 37
    hamletta says:

    I just got home from work, and have only read this post and the Harvey allusion, but I want to say that you are in rare form tonight, Mr. Cole.

  38. 38
    morzer says:

    @Lolis:

    After tonight’s lunacy by the teabaggers, they ought to have a *fucking* conga line and every bath-tub in the White House filled with bubbly.

  39. 39
    IronyAbounds says:

    This is the reason I come to this blog. Fucking right on Mr. Cole.

  40. 40
    me says:

    @ChicagoPat: I saw that but soon turned it off because I can’t stand Son of Erick.

  41. 41
    John Bird says:

    If anyone’s been paying attention, some of these folks have also joined forces with Glenn Beck in calling for the dismantling of public administration (i.e. pretty much everything the government does), as an administrative staff was clearly a Communist plot spearheaded by Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt.

    So we have that to look forward to.

  42. 42
    JGabriel says:

    Paul Begala:

    If Christine O’Donnell can’t stand masturbation, she’ll hate the US Senate

    The GOP just discovered bukkake.

    .

  43. 43
    John Cole says:

    @ChicagoPat: They’re not masturbating in the Senate. They’re giving you and me a reach around.

  44. 44

    Um, John? I’m picking up some anger here.

  45. 45
    Little Boots says:

    I’m seriously stoked about these crazy ass people winning. Are we crazy, John, I don’t know. Or is it that we were once conservative and know how fucked up that can get? I don’t know? But I am really looking forward to this next few months.

  46. 46
    Little Boots says:

    I’m even being ungrammatical, which really pisses me off.

  47. 47
    morzer says:

    @John Cole:

    Technically, it’s pass interference, which is why they keep going backwards. All those penalty yards, you see.

  48. 48
    pseudonymous in nc says:

    There I was, thinking that the Junior Anti-Sex League was a fictional creation.

    Righteous, John.

    It’s going to be an eight week outbreak of collective nuttery, not least because you’ll have the money wings of both parties doing their backroom calculus and crapping themselves.

  49. 49
    GregB says:

    The GOPocalypse is here.

  50. 50
  51. 51
    maye says:

    We can finally have a national discussion on masterbation.

  52. 52
    Allison W. says:

    @morzer:

    no no no. save that for November. No play for them until they crush the crazy. WE can celebrate a bit, THEY need to get crackin’ on some more commercials.

  53. 53

    Ok, here’s what I think is going to happen. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again (and you may feel free to tell me I’m wrong, but you sure as hell better hope I’m right):

    These people will RUIN the GOP in November.

    Ok, not “ruin,” but genuinely hurt both Republican turn-out and votes, and while it’s entirely likely that the Democrats will lose some seats, bottom line, it will not be nearly as bad as everyone fears — not because the Democrats will pull it together (I’m not suggesting miracles here), but because people like the folks at Reason (see: preceding most-excellent rant) will have shot themselves and the GOP in the foot.

    Mark.my.words.

  54. 54
    morzer says:

    @maye:

    Do you suppose Rick Warren would be willing to provide an opening prayer and laying on of hands?

  55. 55
    duck-billed placelot says:

    Uggghhh guys this is not good news for sane people. Probably a few of these tea-holes will get in. Probably that will make it even freaking harder to get anything done. Probably BalloonJuice should consider that New Hampshire plan (Move to small state! Take over!), except can we make it not New Hampshire? Sorry, John, the east coast is cold and snide and full of a noticeable lack of the Pacific Ocean, which is the best ocean we’ve got.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Boudica says:

    I cannot wait for November now! I hope every one of these loons goes down (as I listen to “Tomorrow belongs to me” from Cabaret…their theme song!)

  58. 58
    Little Boots says:

    The sex thing is not working anymore. Newt’s letting his freak flag fly. This cannot be good. Again, and again and again this campaign season, let us laugh.

  59. 59
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    That’s TWO wet suits w/ the dildo…

  60. 60
    MattR says:

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: I am going to hold you to this :)

    @The Republic of Stupidity: We are in a recession, you know.

  61. 61
    Sly says:

    With close to 40% reporting, Paladino has a 33-point lead over Lazio. If this holds up, two facts emerge:

    1) The campaign for the general election is going to be FANTASTIC.

    2) The GOP is truly the big tent party. A professional Polly-Anna who doesn’t want people even thinking about sex, and a guy who sent out an e-mail containing a video depicting a woman fucking a horse, are both welcome by Republican voters.

  62. 62

    @John Bird: You know what, here’s my question:

    These folks are BIG, BIG lovers of the military, usually, right?

    Who do they think runs the military?

  63. 63
    parksideq says:

    Remember the video of that crazy chick with her birth certificate in a Ziploc baggie questioning Obama’s citizenship? (shout out to Chris Hayes for finding it) Wonder whose town hall meeting this took place?

    Mike Castle’s.

    Looking back at that clip made me realize that his loss tonight shouldn’t have been so surprising. This is the bed the GOP made a long time ago, and they shat in it good (forgive the mixed metaphor).

  64. 64

    In the great Republican tradition of Ronnie Reagan using “Born In The USA” for his 1984 campaign, I hear O’Donnell will be using Elvis Costello’s “Pump It Up” for her campaign theme.

  65. 65

    @MattR: If I’m wrong, I’ll first in line at the bar, buying drinks for us both. And I don’t drink.

  66. 66
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    @MattR:

    We are in a recession, you know.

    This is no time to scrimp…

    History is being made!

  67. 67
    cat48 says:

    I’m actually sorta disappointed with Mr. Cole because I thought he would have at least told us once that: We are all Kenyan anticolonialist’s now! but guess not.

  68. 68
    jrg says:

    If the gliberatarians at Reason have not figured out that “small government” is code for hating brown people (and Kenyan usurpers), and it has nothing to do with legalizing pot or reducing the actual size of government, they’re hopeless.

    No amount of reasoning is going to work… Too much shit in their ears for them to hear. Their heads have been in their asses since at least the ’80s.

  69. 69
    KG says:

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: no, no, no, don’t cha know that the military is not part of the government? That’s why military spending doesn’t count on the budget.

  70. 70
    El Cid says:

    Christine O’Donner Party on the TV box thanking not just the Tea Party and Tea Party Express and “the 9/12 movement”.

    Glenn Beck as GOP kingmaker. Fuck you, Bill Buckley, eh?

  71. 71
    RalfW says:

    Apparently Andrew Sullivan decided to commemorate the Teabag jihad victory with one final spliff. He hasn’t posted since 8:36 eastern and the last item is a pic of a weed plant with an item on how the Feds might sue if CA Prop 19 passes.

    Hey, Andrew, I’m pretty sure Angle, O’Donnell and Miller don’t give a fuck about your libertine wish for streets flowing with the golden smog.

  72. 72
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    @maye:

    We can finally have a national discussion on masterbation.

    Indeed… indeed…

    And perhaps this will all, uh, climax in a National Day of Masturbation, led, of course, by Glenn Beck, at the base of the truly appropriate Washington Monument…

  73. 73
    Sentient Puddle says:

    The Republicans are really exploring their studio space. I would’ve been willing to put money only on O’Donnell winning tonight, and even then not much.

  74. 74
    morzer says:

    @Bob In Pacifica:

    I believe she’s chosen Frank Zappa’s Magic Fingers….

  75. 75
    Little Boots says:

    Somewhere, Joclyn Elders is preparing to cut a bitch.

  76. 76
    Annie says:

    I think before we have limited government — a conservative principle — we hold a masturbation rally in DC. While we still have the “right” to masturbation, I think we should have our opinions known. Just imagine the banners.

    You never know — Conservatives may cut taxes for the wealthy, but they may with Christian conservative support institute a tax on those who masturbate, and those who actually finish college and apply to Princeton for graduate school. Seems like the Christian thing to do.

    O’Donnell may be an uneducated, lying cheat, but at least she doesn’t masturbate. Works for me…

  77. 77
    BGinCHI says:

    O’Donnell will be SO excited that she won that maybe, just maybe, she’ll put on an episode of Little House on the Prairie and just let herself go.

    She can still work it out in confession.

  78. 78
    mr. whipple says:

    They’re not masturbating in the Senate. They’re giving you and me a reach around.

    Hey, at least it’s something.

  79. 79
    El Cid says:

    I am a bit nervous that the TeaTard crazies are providing the possible base should somehow a truly clever, devious, insightful, and long-term focused fascist leader. So far there have only been jokes.

    The early 20th century fascist movements relied upon plenty of impulsive nitwits, but (comparatively speaking) they weren’t led by right-anarchic pinhead nincompoops.

  80. 80
    Martha says:

    @El Cid: I’m so stealing that….

  81. 81
    maye says:

    @The Republic of Stupidity: thank you for spelling it correctly.

  82. 82
    Leaking Geek says:

    I think it is wonderful to watch Republicans snatch defeat right out of the jaws of victory.

    Would this make the Snowbilly Quitter a King Un-maker?

  83. 83
    Mike says:

    I’ve never seen someone more self-satisfied than Matt Welch during a bloggingheads.tv appearance.

  84. 84
    cat48 says:

    Wingnut Alert: Paladino wins Rethug nomination NY!

  85. 85
    El Cid says:

    @minachica: Hey, remember when everybody wrote off Jean Marie-LePen as an aberrant nut?

  86. 86

    @KG: Except of course for the black helicopters. Those are TOTALLY government-issue.

  87. 87
    MattR says:

    @Leaking Geek: A lot like watching the Dallas Cowboys this past Sunday. And just as satisfying.

  88. 88
    Karen says:

    Maybe I’m stupid but I don’t see the upside of the teahadist’s winning and taking over the GOP if it means that the country votes for them. People all over the place seem to think that their extremism will scare people into voting for the less insane Dems but everything I see has said it’s going to be a Dem bloodbath, which will only make them more conservative and teaparty lite.

    As Rachel Maddow says, please talk me down from this fear.

  89. 89
    beltane says:

    @Sly: A big tent for the world’s largest freak show. Seems appropriate.

  90. 90
    El Cid says:

    @Martha: It’s public domain.

  91. 91
    Cain says:

    boy oh boy, that’s some crazy shit that’s happening..

    Word up, Cole!

    +1

    cain

  92. 92
    Little Boots says:

    @Karen:

    Aside from the comedy, if we can’t beat these clowns we really don’t deserve to survive as a party … or a country.

  93. 93
    garage mahal says:

    Rand Paul will absolutely let this country go into default.

    There is zero chance this country will ever go into default, on anything. Never has, never will. We are a sovereign issuer of our own currency, after all. And we really don’t even “print” money. We debit and credit accounts. That’s it.

  94. 94
    El Cid says:

    @Karen: I don’t think it would have been good for the nation had the Republicans embraced rather than rejected the John Birch Society crazies and the party became led by super-paranoid “anti-Communists” in a union with ultra-right racist segregationist Southern Democrats.

  95. 95
    JGabriel says:

    They’re going crazy(er) over at Freeperville tonight. You’d think they’d be celebrating their wins, but no, they’re whinging about RINO’s like Karl Rove (!) not supporting the Teahad, and making plans to inundate the NRSC with teabags.

    Always the victims, even when they win.

    .

  96. 96
    BGinCHI says:

    @Annie: NIH study on percentage of college graduates who have masturbated: 150%.

  97. 97
    lacp says:

    I’m late to the party. What does all this have to do with firebaggers giving the President a little dolschtoss massage?

  98. 98
    El Cid says:

    Millionaire Paladino was on MSNBC screaming about how “the ruling class” has been taught a lesson by “a peoples’ revolution” at the ballot box.

    Yeah, leftists using class war and Marxist rhetoric is the worst thing anyone could ever possibly do, but ultra-rightists declaring basic fascist spins on Marxist arguments how a right reaction is “revolutionary” and against “the ruling class”? That’s okay.

  99. 99
    MattR says:

    @Karen: All those assumptions on a Democratic bloodbath were largely based on the belief that people like Mike Castle would win the primary and cruise to the victory in the general election. As was pointed out upthread, people who voted for him today favor Coons (the Democrat) 44-28. I live in New Jersey and it is remarkably red. There are some very red areas and moderate republicans do well in statewide elections. But NJ went through a period at the turn of the century where the Republican nominees were just too far to the right (completely anti-abortion, pro NRA) and they kept losing to uninspiring Democratic candidates.

  100. 100
    Martha says:

    @El Cid: i promise to give you credit. Creativity must be honored!

  101. 101
    Kryptik says:

    @Karen:

    This is my overarching and haunting fear right now. The Dems we have have shown absolutely no indication that they won’t end up doing what they always do…and blame the left, lurch even further right, and then wonder why they keep getting their ass kicked even in ‘victory’.

  102. 102
    Little Boots says:

    @Kryptik:

    They have their opportunity. Yeah, I’m not sure they will seize it, but they can, if they want to, and we make them.

  103. 103
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @Little Boots:

    WIN!

  104. 104
    binzinerator says:

    Oh, you’re gonna get your limited government, Christian style, and you’re gonna get it good, you morons- I may even chip in for the wetsuits and dildo for you special cases at Hit and Run. I can’t blame crazy people for being bat shit crazy, but I sure as hell can heap some scorn on pricks like the Reason writers for running rhetorical cover for the lunatics and helping to mainstream their insanity (I know, I know- you don’t PERSONALLY believe Obama is a Kenyan!). Y’all might as well write for Red State.
    __
    I just hope you chumps lose the leather jackets and designer wayfarer prescription specs, because those look vaguely French. Your days of esoterically talking about the virtues of Ayn Rand at DC wine and cheese parties are over, because you’re now bitches for Real ‘Murrika. Yeefuckinghaw! Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

    I love you.

  105. 105
    celticdragonchick says:

    “The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping…”

    Leon should have said he would water board the terrorist reptile and have it flown to a secret prison in Poland for interrogation.

    The Voight-Kampf machine would have fucking exploded.

  106. 106
    maye says:

    @Karen: never underestimate the Democrats to completely fuck up this opportunity.

  107. 107
    El Cid says:

    Meanwhile, in primitive 3rd world Brazil which needs to follow more US advice on politics and the economy, the Workers’ Party candidate (same as current President Lula da Silva) Dilma Rousseff — a schoolteacher and former urban leftist guerrilla when that meant fighting against a US-backed right wing dictatorship — is leading by roughly 50.5% to 26%.

  108. 108
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @JGabriel:

    Holy shit. I didn’t think Rove would be the subject of a purity purge until closer to election 2012.

  109. 109
    Leaking Geek says:

    @MattR: If you’re a Steelers fan I accept your hatin’. A Giants, or god forbid, Eagles fan, and you’ll just have to hug closely your envy.

  110. 110
    MikeBoyScout says:

    While I hope your predictive capabilities suck….

    As The Worm Turns.

  111. 111
    Leaking Geek says:

    @celticdragonchick: +3 Voight-Kampf machine reference.

  112. 112
    SIA says:

    @Karen: The tea party is not forever, and if they haven’t (dare I say it) already peaked, they will soon. O’Donnell is NOT going to win in DE. I doubt Buck will in CO. Rand Paul will probably win in KY, alas. The remaining sane people (49% or so voted for Castle in DE) in the GOP will stay home before they’ll vote for the lunatics. The lunatics will terrify the Ds and more of us will vote. I know I sound like one of those oft-quoted totally wrong losers in history, ie “man will never fly” but the teatard takeover is just not going to happen.* The teabaggers winning tonight does nothing but help the dems. And add HUGE entertainment value, while hopefully showing some indies the true colors of the GOP.
    *I could be wrong. But I’m not. :O

  113. 113
    MattR says:

    @Leaking Geek: Disgruntled Broncos fan who grew up in the heart of Giants/Jets country. I will always have a hatred for the Cowboys, Giants, Redskins and 49ers that is special and different from the way I hate the Raiders, Chargers and Chiefs.

    (EDIT: But my current dream is to punch Josh McDaniels in the nuts and then to convince Pat Bowlen to give control of the team to anyone other than Joe Ellis)

  114. 114
    Little Boots says:

    They are as doomed as the Know Nothings, but even that took a while. karen has a point.

  115. 115
    Annie says:

    @BGinCHI:

    Yes, and these are the people we should tax. The new conservative principles — those who finish college – tax. Those who apply to graduate — tax. Those who actually get a job and stay employed — tax. Those who masturbate — tax. Those who don’t finish college, lie about graduate school, misuse campaign funds, and don’t masturbate — run for Congress.

  116. 116
    SIA says:

    AND THE FUN BEGINS!

    Christine O’Donnell’s 1996 Anti-Masturbation Campaign On MTV’s ‘Sex In The 90s’ (VIDEO)

  117. 117
    El Cid says:

    @SIA: The stars which shine the brightest often shine the briefest.

  118. 118
    taylormattd says:

    Don’t tell O’Donnell, but this post has me aroused.

  119. 119
    danimal says:

    Count me in with those that think this is the high water mark for the Tea Party. The scrutiny their candidates will receive, along with the natural media narrative cycles (Dems on the rebound?) will combine to make the 2010 a suprisingly predictable boring contest.

    The GOP will gain some seats, the Dems will (barely) control the house as well as maintain nominal control of the Senate (Nelson, Lieberman and the conservadems aren’t really controllable). The GOP will continue obstructing until their 2012 shellacking by Obama.

    Demography (alongside economics) is destiny.

  120. 120
    Little Boots says:

    @danimal:

    Yes, I suspect that is true. But I wish we would get what an opportunity this is, instead of just seeing it as a threat.

  121. 121
    Leaking Geek says:

    @MattR: My sister lives in Denver. There is a very special cult-like following of the Broncos* in Denver (read *= John Elway). I would think your hatred of the Chiefs would trump the ‘Boys by half, but then the Chiefs never drubbed you in the SB, so there is that.

    As far as punching J-Mc in the balls, I’d pay real money to see that televised live on Monday Night Football. Maybe they could make it a weekly series, and you could follow that up with a swift kick to Wade’s cherries, if you please.

  122. 122
  123. 123
    SIA says:

    @El Cid: Or, up like a rocket, down like a stick.

    @taylormattd: Someone in the other thread had some carrots or something. Better do it quick before it becomes illegal.

  124. 124
    BGinCHI says:

    @Annie: I think that also describes LeBron James. I assume he’ll run for office in 2012.

  125. 125
    Sly says:

    There are a number of reports going around that the NRSC will will not be helping to fund O’Donnell’s campaign.

  126. 126
    minachica says:

    @El Cid:Yeah, the article is kinda schziod (Palin has absolutely no chance of being the leader of the free world? I wish I had that confidence). I laughed at the witty insults, but this was my takeaway:blockquote>Watching the Tea Party crush centrist Republicans in race after race regardless of the damage this will do the GOP in November, noting the fanaticism at the rallies headlined by Palin and Beck, and recalling from his own childhood the power of crazed but charismatic rhetoric over a middle class grown poor and confused in Wehrmacht [sic? – Weimar] Germany, Noam Chomsky sniffs fascism on the breeze.
    Not to go all Godwin or anything.

  127. 127
    minachica says:

    And FYWP. You know who else said FYWP???

  128. 128
    rederik says:

    @garage mahal:

    The idea that printing more money can make up for a default on government backed securities is absurd.

    It’s literally impossible for inflation protected securities, and for non protected securities a sufficient level of inflation — the affect of running the printing press at high speed — would make them worthless, which is effectively the same thing as a default.

    Whether more than a few loons would support defaulting is another matter. I’d agree it’s unlikely, but absolute zero is a very very high standard.

  129. 129
    hamletta says:

    @maye: Joycelyn Elders is laughing heartily tonight.

  130. 130
    JGabriel says:

    (Deleted by author due to error.)

    .

  131. 131
    catclub says:

    @duck-billed placelot:
    “the east coast is cold and snide and full of a noticeable lack of the Pacific Ocean, which is the best ocean we’ve got.”

    Flipper is doing that funny chirping that means:
    Who this we kemo sabe?

  132. 132
  133. 133
    catclub says:

    @minachica:
    I take solace in the fact that it took 47% unemployment in Germany before they went around the bend and went for the nazis.

    Our recession may be bad, but 9% unemployment is a world of difference from a depression.

  134. 134
    SIA says:

    @JGabriel: YEEEEE-HAAAWWW!

  135. 135
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @taylormattd: Me, too. I need a cigarette now.

    Cole, if you post a pic/video of Tunchie right now, I’m not responsible for my actions.

    On the subject at hand–I am a little nervous because I think we tend to underestimate the sheer stupidity in this country.

    @Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther: But are you certain enough to say you’ll buy a round for everyone if you’re wrong?

  136. 136
    Petorado says:

    I may be a bit naive, but will the folks flying business class on Republican airways want to pay to get the nutcases flying in steerage elected? The libertarian shtick as been beneficial to the wealthy wanting to escape gov’t taxation, but a batshit nation full of O’Donnells wanting no government support for any infrastructure and business subsidies has to get the blueblooods a little anxious. Some revolt is good for them, but complete anarchy can’t be good for business. Even a Mercedes E-class takes a beatings when the the roads fall into a state of Christine O’Donnell-imposed hell.

  137. 137

    Nothing to add to the general T of the post except, I bow before the awesomeness of a righteous JC rant.

    On the OT, the general gloom around here cannot get me down because I met somebody. :)

  138. 138
    JGabriel says:

    I actually don’t get why the NRSC isn’t funding O’Donnell. Of course she’ll lose, but it’s not as if O’Donnell’s any crazier than Michelle Bachmann or La Palin.

    .

  139. 139
    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal (JMN) says:

    @JGabriel:

    I actually don’t get why the NRSC isn’t funding O’Donnell. Of course she’ll lose, but it’s not as if O’Donnell’s any crazier than Michelle Bachmann or La Palin.

    The complete answer to your question is contained in the first clause of your second sentence.

  140. 140
    RalfW says:

    @minachica: I am probably too much of a worrier, but Chomsky has good reason to notice the breeze.

    It could be the Tea high water mark, or we may be on the verge of Facism. I vote for high water, but will think about options, just in case.

  141. 141
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Oh no, you do NOT just get to slide that in there and not give the deets! I will hunt you down and bug you until you tell all!

  142. 142
    Sloegin says:

    @catclub: Nazis didn’t have nearly the propaganda machine that Murdoch pumps out on a daily basis.

    Wish that was snark…

  143. 143
    Cliff says:

    @John Cole:

    They’re not masturbating in the Senate. They’re giving you and me a reach around.

    With a f’n handful of razor blades.

  144. 144
    Cliff says:

    @bjkeefe:

    peak wingnut=2xwingnut^2*infinity^2

    aka, its not possible

  145. 145
    db says:

    This is one of the best posts I’ve read on election results in a long time…. gotta save this one for posteriority!

  146. 146
    Kevin says:

    Can I get a FUCK YEAH?

    Oh, good then!

  147. 147
    Albatrossity says:

    @Paul W.:

    FOX is already switching to back these Teaparty candidates… but I don’t understand why. I really don’t get how LOSING ELECTIONS is a good investment of their time and money.

    Because Fox is making money in the entertainment business, not in politics. And these teahadists are, if nothing else, damned entertaining!

  148. 148

    […] an exquisite rant from John Cole. I’m going to quote liberally […]

  149. 149
    julie says:

    This is why I’ve been calling them the ‘Douche-baggers’ for months now….instead of the Tea-baggers. BECAUSE THEY ARE COMPLETE DOUCHE-BAGS!

  150. 150
    Ash Can says:

    @Paul W.: Has Fox ever not supported tea party candidates? I’ve just assumed all along that the teabaggers would all be their pets since Fox has been the main promoter of the Tea Party from the outset.

  151. 151
    Trinity says:

    I got home from work last night, went to vote (MD), and then drove home and went straight to sleep.

    I get to work and this is the first blog I read.

    Most.Fucking.Excellent.Cole.

    Yeefuckinghaw!

    indeed!!

  152. 152
    tomvox1 says:

    On the brighter side, this is the beginning of the end of the GOP as a unified political force. They are going to split into the “pragmatists” (not quite so crazy) and the hardliners (balls out loony) and have a real problem ever winning elections in any swing district ever again. Good times for Dems in the (not very) long run. In fact, I predict a GOP wipeout in 2012. Which will be fun to watch to say the least. To quote the eminent political scientist, Axl Rose:

    All we need is just a little patience…

  153. 153
    JRon says:

    This link is a little softer than John’s post, but to me it’s pretty clearly aimed at the odd gop idea of “bootstraps.” Besides, we all know who today’s “conservatives” would’ve supported if they’d been around for King George.

    edit: on second thought, this has almost nothing to do with John’s post, aside from the word ‘bootstraps’…

  154. 154
    fasteddie9318 says:

    Something bothered me about the tortoise analogy when I first read it, and I finally figured out what it was: you can’t give the tortoise himself a tax cut. It’s not the right sort of people and would probably spend that money on malt liquor or, worse, crack or, even worse, food or medical care for its tortoise children (thus improving their chances of surviving to further contaminate the gene pool). You need to give a tax cut to Charles Koch so that he’s got the resources to, as he’s passing by that tortoise, lean over it, and shout “GET THE FUCK UP YOU LAZY, SHIFTLESS PIECE OF SHIT!” As he’s shouting at the tortoise, some spittle will dribble out of his mouth and could theoretically land on the tortoise and unbalance it enough to flip it over; thus, trickle-down economics in its purest form.

  155. 155
    pandera says:

    Yee-hah! Cole angry. Cole smash. Love it.

  156. 156
    Bill Murray says:

    I think the current time is more Tea Room Putsch as opposed to Reichstag fire.

    and Glenn Beck = Buzz Windrip, which makes John Cole Doremus jessup and Balloon Juice, the West Virginia Vigilance

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