A very nice human being emailed me and gave me detailed instructions on what to do. Basically, the problem was/is Experian being unable to verify my address (probably because of my move), so I will be on the phone with them today at some point (depending on how things go, we may have a new worst company in the world). I’ll let you know how it works out, but right now, it is just nice to be out of the paypal infinite loop of computer-automated response.
And really, that is all I wanted. Someone to just tell me what to do. This might work out well in the end for me, but what do people without my resources (a complete lack of shame, a rather large mouth, and a website) do to resolve this. If I worked at paypal, this would be something I would think about.
I’m off to get a crown on a molar. Knowing that I now have to deal with Experian makes that the second worst thing I have to do today.