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You are here: Home / Dispatches From Real ‘Murikka

Dispatches From Real ‘Murikka

by John Cole|  August 19, 20103:17 pm| 52 Comments

This post is in: Bring on the Brawndo!

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I’m so glad our political debate has become taken over by Sarah Palin fetishists, teatards, and folks who make videos like this:

The only flaw I’ve seen so far in the movie Idiocracy was that they didn’t accurately chronicle the hate- sure, they were morons in the movie, but they weren’t as hateful as real ‘Murrikkans.

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Reader Interactions

52Comments

  1. 1.

    Greenhouse Guy

    August 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm

    What a stinking pile of nonsense that vid was. Ugh…

  2. 2.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 19, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    The fuck? Appalling sentiments, hackneyed lyrics, cliched tune. This thing has no redeeming features. Oh shit, as I listened and reached the spoken word part, it actually got worse.

    Where did you find it, and why?

  3. 3.

    PurpleGirl

    August 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    They forgot the pictures of Dubya holding hands and kissing that Saudi prince. And weren’t most of the 19 terrorists from Saudi Arabia?

    (At least I didn’t hear the soundtrack because I haven’t enabled sounds on my computer after the most recent re-install of windows, so I only saw that images. That was enough.)

  4. 4.

    eric

    August 19, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    They will have to pry the “Ground Zero Mosque” from my cold dead hands.

  5. 5.

    arguingwithsignposts

    August 19, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    I am not getting out of the boat. Where’s Kain with some Carolina Chocolate Drops? oh, here’s some “Don’t Get Trouble in Your Mind.” Seems apropos.

  6. 6.

    Strandedvandal

    August 19, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    Read the comments on the Youtube channel to see just how bad the hate is.

  7. 7.

    The Moar You Know

    August 19, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Glad to see another grifter profiting off the dead of 9/11, all in the name of Real America, apple pie, and the flag.

    This country is full of assholes.

  8. 8.

    beltane

    August 19, 2010 at 3:29 pm

    Since my emotional equilibrium will not survive a viewing of that video, I’ll just have to read the reviews here. God help us if the Palin cultists ever find their own Lena Riefenstahl.

  9. 9.

    Larry Signor

    August 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    I thought that shit would never end. This country definitely has a big pantload of assholes in it.

  10. 10.

    Mary G

    August 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Ugh, I read a few of the comments on that YouTube, now I am totally depressed. Some photos of Tunch, Rosie or Lily might make me feel a little better.

    @Strandedvandal: I see you got there first.

    @eric:FTW

  11. 11.

    Crashman

    August 19, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    I refuse to listen to this. I think i’m going to go watch “Ow! My Balls!” instead.

  12. 12.

    licensed to kill time

    August 19, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    Ok, I lasted about 10 seconds. I hate this kind of hokey AmerEmo shit.

  13. 13.

    Larry Signor

    August 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    @Strandedvandal: The comments are more depressing than the video.

  14. 14.

    LarsThorwald

    August 19, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    These shit ditties are terribly self-parodying, and remind me of this:

    Freedom isn’t free
    It costs folks like you and me
    And if we don’t all chip in
    We’ll never pay that bill
    Freedom isn’t free
    No, there’s a hefty fuckin’ fee.
    And if you don’t throw in your buck ‘o five
    Who will?

  15. 15.

    Zandar

    August 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    As any serious student of American sociopolitical history can tell you, America basically is collection of bigots who have to be dragged kicking and screaming into accepting new groups. They find a group to hate, they fight about it, that group eventually gets (partially) accepted and then we move on to a new group to hate.

    We’ve been doing this for some 400 years now. The only thing that’s changed is the pace of acceleration between hate cycles.

  16. 16.

    me

    August 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    @Larry Signor: The comments on this one restore a little faith in humanity.

  17. 17.

    EvolutionaryDesign

    August 19, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    This has got to be an elaborate joke, right? Right?

  18. 18.

    Omnes Omnibus

    August 19, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    @Crashman:
    Dear Crashman,

    Being a contestant on “Ow! My Balls!” would still be better than watching that video.

    Sincerely,

    A sadder and a wiser man.

  19. 19.

    chopper

    August 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    The only flaw I’ve seen so far in the movie Idiocracy was that they didn’t accurately chronicle the hate- sure, they were morons in the movie, but they weren’t as hateful as real ‘Murrikkans.

    go away. hatin’.

  20. 20.

    Larry Signor

    August 19, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    @me: Thank you. There is some sanity out there.

  21. 21.

    freelancer

    August 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    C.S. Lewis, Jr says, “You don’t mess around, with God’s America!”

    (Mr. Show)

  22. 22.

    wasabi gasp

    August 19, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    vinegar in the douchebag

  23. 23.

    Kryptik

    August 19, 2010 at 4:04 pm

    They used to call me an America hater.

    At first I thought it was vile attacks on my ideology.

    Now I realize it’s self-fulfilling prophecy. Tell someone that you hate ‘Real America’ enough, and that they hate you right back, and sooner or later, it ends up true.

  24. 24.

    maus

    August 19, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    @Kryptik:

    Now I realize it’s self-fulfilling prophecy. Tell someone that you hate ‘Real America’ enough, and that they hate you right back, and sooner or later, it ends up true.

    How dare we point out the rotten core of this GREAT NASHUN!

  25. 25.

    dhd

    August 19, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    Throw the JewMuslim down the well!
    So my country can be free!

  26. 26.

    brantl

    August 19, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    I love how whoever they get to sing this stuff always sounds like a shitkicker. It never fails.

  27. 27.

    freelancer

    August 19, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    @dhd:

    Heh.

  28. 28.

    ed

    August 19, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    As others have noted: Muslim is the new black.

  29. 29.

    Steve M.

    August 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    By now, are there any right-wingers in America who haven’t made a YouTube video attempting to exploit 9/11 for political gain?

  30. 30.

    Citizen Alan

    August 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    I have often said that if you cut out the first five minutes and the last five minutes, Idiocracy is the most prescient movie of our lifetime. Mike Judge’s only mistake lies in his naive and elitist view that the future Idiocracy will come about due to a failure of eugenics — that stupid people will outbreed intelligent people. Our ruination will not come from bad genes but from the conscious embrace of willful ignorance. Fifty years of Republican assault not just on public education but on the very idea of intellectual attainment have brought us to this point, a land where education is actively belittled while ignorance is praised as the highest virtue to which one can attain. A land where the insights of a studied expert with advanced degrees who has devoted his entire life to a particular field of inquiry are less valued than what any average yokel off the street feels “in his gut.” ‘

    If I had the opportunity to re-edit Idiocracy to better reflect our troubled times and our likely future, I would cut the first five minutes entirely, leaving no clue as to how the world went to hell. The last five minutes would cut away from Joe Bauers as he is being hailed as the savior of America to the hidden chambers of the shadowy cabal that secretly runs Brawndo, a group of secret elites who are furious that their plan for culling the excess population has been thwarted and perhaps frightened of this strange man from the past who doesn’t accept that “reading is for pussies.”

  31. 31.

    DCPlod

    August 19, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    The most unintentionally funny one of these revolting anti-Park51 videos is this one.

    It’s a perfect mix of the twin wingnut passions of hate and shit music.

  32. 32.

    Svensker

    August 19, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    All I learned about Islam I learned on 9/11

    Such proud ignorance. Flaunt it, baby! We’re #1!

  33. 33.

    Shabbazz

    August 19, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    It’s true — the families of the people who were killed on 9-11 would be terribly offended by a Muslim community center…except, of course, for the Muslim families of the Muslim people who were killed in the attacks. There were, in fact, 20+ Muslims killed in the towers that day (and, no, I’m not talking about the hijackers).

    These assholes act like it was only Ril Christian Americans who were killed in the attacks. That simply is not true.

    And you know who DOES deserves better? The first responders that were just denied federal funds by the same flag-wrapped assholes trumpeting this non-story as an affront to the first responders.

  34. 34.

    Violet

    August 19, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    @DCPlod:
    That’s my favorite one. It sounds like the theme song to an 80’s sitcom combined with a reject song from a C-list country singer and flavored with “Freedom Costs A Buck ‘o five” from “Team America.”

  35. 35.

    Nick

    August 19, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Hmm? Is this outfit Presidents wear when making recess appointments? Corresponding photo FAIL, AP!

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_obama_recess_appointments;_ylt=At2Uw28BRpNulVO9OY5r7PlH2ocA;_ylu=X3oDMTNoOWw1bWo3BGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMTAwODE5L3VzX29iYW1hX3JlY2Vzc19hcHBvaW50bWVudHMEY2NvZGUDbW9zdHBvcHVsYXIEY3BvcwM0BHBvcwM0BHNlYwN5bl90b3Bfc3RvcmllcwRzbGsDdmFjYXRpb25pbmdv

    Also, CNN’s lower third chryon right now reads: “NEW DEVELOPMENT: WH: Obama not a Muslim”

    60% of people who say they think Obama is a Muslim said they learned it on TV, most of the rest from the internet. Don’t think there isn’t a game being played here.

  36. 36.

    Violet

    August 19, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    @Shabbazz:
    There were also quite a few non-Americans killed on 9/11 as well. Should we check with their home countries and see what the people there think?

  37. 37.

    DickSpudCouchPotatoDetective

    August 19, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    GZM is the Terri Schiavo of 2010. Once again, the government is being asked to perform as guardian of the symbolic, the sacrosanct, the emo obsessed, the thirteen year old weepers that live in all of us, the maudlin, the tearful, the thumbsuckers.

    And once again the ratfuckers are lining up to capitalize on it.

    The Schiavo ploy backfired. I think this one will too.

  38. 38.

    Mayur

    August 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    @Shabbazz:

    And you know who DOES deserves better? The first responders that were just denied federal funds by the same flag-wrapped assholes trumpeting this non-story as an affront to the first responders.

    Aaaaand this is exactly what I don’t understand.

    Denying federal funds to responders really IS a “stab in the heart” to those still feeling the most pain from 9/11, both physical AND emotional. Yet the media can somehow elide that while beating the terror mosque drum.

    I guess it’s all part of a larger scheme to push worse and worse policies on an increasingly misinformed and deluded public. Third World country, here we come.

  39. 39.

    PurpleGirl

    August 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    @Shabbazz: There were 60 Muslims killed in the Towers that morning.

    But but but… those first responders were New Yorkers. Not real Americans.

  40. 40.

    Mnemosyne

    August 19, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    @LarsThorwald:

    Okay, I don’t know why this has never occurred to me before, but aren’t the same people who run around saying “freedom isn’t free” the same ones who whine the loudest about having to pay taxes?

    Freedom isn’t free, so pay up, deadbeats!

  41. 41.

    Bex

    August 19, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    You’re all lucky you haven’t seen the video about the president called “The Renegger.” Why it’s just an innocent little ditty with a misspelled title about a man who has reneged on his promises…he’s a renegger, get it, elbow nudge, snort… ain’t this the best one yet? WE all know what it REALLY means.

    The email also comes with the claim that this will go to the top of the charts. Funny, don’t think it’s cracked the top 1000 yet.

  42. 42.

    Shabbazz

    August 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    @PurpleGirl:

    Really? 60? Somewhat surprised the number is that high, but it does help drive the point home.

  43. 43.

    Shabbazz

    August 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    @Mayur:

    It is a very intentional shell game being played in the war for hearts and minds. “Pay no attention to the denied funds to the first responders – HEY LOOK! BROWN PEOPLE DOING SCARY FURRIN STUFF!!!”

  44. 44.

    Steaming Pile

    August 19, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    I lasted 32 seconds.

    Oh, and I would say highly produced and televised executions of people who needed killing (with overly phallic devices such as the “dildozer”) put a pretty fine point on the attitude the world of Idiocracy had when it came to people who were “different.”

  45. 45.

    Steaming Pile

    August 19, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    @Bex: I thought that was shift-change time at the car wash. Seriously, those were the jokes I grew up with in 1970s Kentucky. I’m glad none of that stuck to me.

  46. 46.

    Mayur

    August 19, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    @Shabbazz: Yeah, I get that, but it never fails to shock that the hypocrisy is quite so open in these quarters. It’s one thing to distract the electorate with, say, culture war stuff while pushing an agenda to rob the middle class blind (see Rove, Karl). It’s another to so openly shit where you eat, which just amazes me in its sheer chutzpah.

  47. 47.

    Alwhite

    August 19, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    anybody see the “The Reneger” video about Obama? They think they are soooo fucking cute – re-nigger? get it? And of course you are just an over sensitive asshole if you think they are racists for making he song.

    Idiocracy got it right BTW – they made fun of the guy that spoke well & called him a “tard” ect. its just that the hate was socially acceptable so it was not so vicious in appearance.

  48. 48.

    Wombat

    August 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Personally I believe that all houses of worship should be torn down and never rebuilt, but if you are going to insist on christian churches, then you must allow mosques.

  49. 49.

    Honus

    August 19, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    @PurpleGirl:”those first responders were New Yorkers. Not real Americans.”

    Worse, they were government workers. Probably even union. Not like real murkan farmers gettin’ subsidies out west who were really hurt by 9/11 and the mosque.

  50. 50.

    Honus

    August 19, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    @Bex: cause, you know, he “renegged” on all the promises “they” elected him for.
    I love when the teabaggers talking about how Obama isn’t doing what they voted for him to do. Like any of those assholes actually voted for for Obama.

  51. 51.

    robuzo

    August 20, 2010 at 12:57 am

    How about a clearer warning label next time? Imagine getting that as an earworm.

  52. 52.

    Duwamps

    August 20, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Nice touch with the sound of the gun being cocked to accompany “Back off.” Gotta love real Murca.

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