Just another failed ideology

David Frum is asking for a “one-sentence description of a modernized, reformed conservatism”.

The title of this post is my entry. What’s yours?

I don’t mean the title to be snarky or mean. I just believe that conservatism — at least as it currently exists — belongs in the dust bin of history, along with communism and various other ideologies that made some kind of sense intellectually but were utter disasters in practice.

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126 replies
  1. 1
    AlanDean says:

    What I have is mine, what you have is mine.

  2. 2
    Silver says:

    “We’ll throw away any pretense at ethics or morality if we can kill brown people.”

    That’s pretty catchy, and unlike DougJ’s attempt, I think that’s actually something that conservatives would agree is a great thing.

  3. 3
    John Cole says:

    Can we stop pretending now that David Frum is a reasonable conservative? All he cares about is marketing of conservatism, not the flawed ideas. He’s just afraid that if Republicans continue down this road, he won’t be able to pursue his agenda, which is Israel and his neocon agenda.

  4. 4
    Zifnab25 says:

    Conservatism: whatever liberalism happens today, but opposite.

  5. 5
    Loneoak says:

    You betcha, also too.

  6. 6
    Myles SG says:

    I feel compelled to state that the ideology of liberty is an ideology that could never belong to the dustbin history, but rather will be forevermore the torch for all mankind.

  7. 7
    Myles SG says:

    And yeah, Frum is an idiot.

  8. 8
    mhanch says:

    “Now with 20% more starbursts!”

  9. 9
    licensed to kill time says:

    I’ll take Insane Clown Car Posse for $200, Alex.

  10. 10
    Mark S. says:

    I’ve got mine, fuck you.

    For me, that’s conservatism in a nutshell. All the Jesus and snowflake baby bullshit is to get enough rubes to vote for policies that only favor the top 5%.

  11. 11
    Mike E says:

    How about: The flaming trainwreck of ideologies, or; a crime scene marked by the slow retreating shambles of once-proud conservative intellectuals.

  12. 12
    ed says:

    I’ll go with:

    You follow me — because obviously sitting around saying, “We want to cut this,” is much more abstract than even the busing thing, and a hell of a lot more abstract than “Nigger, nigger.”

  13. 13
    The Reverend Lowdown says:

    modernized, reformed conservatism: “look mom, no hands”…followed by the inevitable sound of something crashing.

  14. 14
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    Okay. I read Frum’s post, and I still want to know: What “reforms” is he proposing? I was glad to see him talk about “reality/evidence based” thinking, but modern Republicans (taken collectively) are incoherent and frequently dishonest on foreign policy (“axis of evil”, to pick an example at random) and relentlessly, deliberately dishonest on domestic policy, from immigration to budgets to social issues. They operate in an accountability-free zone, thanks to the media. How does Frum want to fix that?

    Seems to me it was just three or four years ago that the reforms Frum was proposing was to be more like George W Bush, who was “The Right Man”

  15. 15
    DougJ says:

    @John Cole:

    I like Frum Forum a lot. I don’t know what to make of David Frum as a person but he’s created the one conservative site worth reading.

  16. 16
    malraux says:

    Isn’t conservatism antithetical to modernization and reforming, like by its very nature?

    Anyway, FYIGM seems about the best description.

  17. 17
    birthmarker says:

    Corporatism hides in the cloak of “conservatism.”

  18. 18
    ruemara says:

    crazy faithful, praying to tax cut jesus and blaming everyone else when it doesn’t work out.

  19. 19
    Xecky Gilchrist says:

    various other ideologies that made some kind of sense intellectually but were utter disasters in practice.

    I agree with this except for the implication that modern conservatism makes some kind of sense intellectually.

    It’s thoroughly dishonest, represented as one set of ideas to the initiates, the rubes who are supposed to vote for it and a completely different set to the leaders.

    My one-sentence description would be “The Other Scientology of pure greed.”

  20. 20
    mepex says:

    As long as the richest are getting more and the poorest are getting less, leave the rest alone.

  21. 21
    QuaintIrene says:

    More tax cuts for the rich, de-regulation and privatization of everything.

    Oh, wait. Wasn’t that the old modernized conservatism?

  22. 22
    cleek says:

    i can do it in one word: ~liberal

    or, for those of you who don’t grok the boolean: today’s conservatism is the opposite of what liberals want today: updated daily.

    or: cowardly authoritarians pretending to be individualists.

    or: the cynical leading the stupid.

    or: I Got Mine

    or: who said we weren’t tolerant? we tolerate racists just fine!

  23. 23
    malraux says:

    To remind: here is my first draft, for which I asked for improvements:

    A reality-based, culturally modern, socially inclusive and environmentally responsible politics that supports free markets, limited government and a peaceful American-led world order.

    Aside from the bit about specifically being an American-led world order, that really just sounds like democrats. Or at least what many democrats would like their party to be. But I don’t see how any of those descriptors applies in any way to conservatives.

  24. 24
    Lev says:

    @John Cole: I agree that Frum is a nicer right-wing partisan, and I took on some of the bullshit he was spewing at Sullivan’s place over at my blog: http://levsarea.blogspot.com/2010/07/wtf-frum.html

    On economics, he is no different from Grover Norquist.

  25. 25
    matoko_chan says:

    DougJ heres mine

    “A reality-based. culturally relevent, multi-ethnic, multi-gendered, multi-racial environmentally responsible politics that supports REGULATED markets, limited government, and a responsible social compact for ALL american citizens, and seeks to be a good citizen of the world, not a ruler or a leader…..or especially not the SuperAwesome World Police-America-Fuck-Yeah!”

    i just don’t think the whole “taking back culture” thing is gonna work.
    Big Hollywood Failblog.
    membah, these guys hated Avatar (the highest grossing movie of all time) too.
    i just don’t think “middle america” cares much about conservative message discipline anymore.
    ;)

  26. 26
    Jay in Oregon says:

    Did it ever occur to Frum that you can’t “modernize” an ideology that is concerned with resisting progress?

    So I’ll go with:

    “Modern conservativism: an oxymoron”

  27. 27
    Mike E says:

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    “The Other Scientology of pure greed.”

    The Other Scientology is pure WIN. I’m so using that!

  28. 28
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @licensed to kill time:

    I expect to see “Insane Clown Car Posse” as a Balloon Juice tag very soon now. Well said!

  29. 29
    Wildcat12 says:

    While originally following the legacy of a former actor turned president, the ideology has been lost without a man on white steed with a persona that could melt the cold steel soul of those dark, depraved, un-american liberals who permeate the landscape with their facts, logic, and problem solving skills that run counter to the political philosophy of the rich, white, and totally non-racists who exist on the other end of the political spectrum, who’s only apparent problem solving skills involve tax cuts for the wealthy and… more tax cuts for the very much deserving children of the wealth who obviously would create 2 million jobs if they only got their hands on $20 million more inheritance and WHY ISN’T ANYONE TAKING THIS IDEOLOGY SERIOUS ANYMORE?

  30. 30
    MTiffany says:

    Epic delusional circle jerk of failure.

  31. 31
    Mike E says:

    @Jay in Oregon:

    “Modern conservativism: an oxymoron”

    a.k.a. George Will

  32. 32
    Lev says:

    As for my one-line description, “Meet the new boss…” is about as cliche as it gets, but it’s what first came to mind.

  33. 33
    Mark S. says:

    Free Markets Solve Everything!

  34. 34
    El Cruzado says:

    It’s the reaction, the last bulwark against a leftism that no longer exists.

  35. 35
    Svensker says:

    @malraux:

    a peaceful American-led world order.

    Why do we have to have an “American-led” world order? And what happens if we don’t GET an American-led world order — do we blow more shit up?

    Time for us to tend our own backyards.

  36. 36
    flounder says:

    Power for the sake of power…plus more upper bracket tax cuts.

  37. 37
    Xero says:

    Conservatism: There are no mirrors in our house.

  38. 38
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    Conservatism: a postmodern cargo cult – any day now Saint Ronnie will land on our island and deliver presents to all the good little girls and boys, and lumps of coal to the rest who aren’t worthy enough.

    ETA: but only if we cut taxes. Saint Ronnie doesn’t visit islands where they don’t cut taxes.

  39. 39
    cleek says:

    GOP: No We Can’t !

    GOP: Creating the deficits that we blame on the Democrats, since 1980.

    GOP: Bring us your scared, your confused, your ignorant and proud of it masses yearning to play the victim.

    GOP: we’re the opposite of what we tell you the Democrats are!

  40. 40
    sparky says:

    the other scientology is pretty good.

    also, too–
    “sanity is overrated”
    “it’s all about the oil, stupid!”
    “because progress is a four-letter word”
    “lalalalala i can’t hear you”
    “Disney lives!”
    “facts are ugly”
    “my imaginary [penis, flag, gun, jesus] is bigger than your real one”
    “civilization is for sissies”
    “what do you mean it’s not 1953?”
    “boo!”

    edit: “moderation? we don’t need no stinking moderation!”

  41. 41
    shep says:

    More a successful marketing campaign, than a failed ideology. Tax cuts for the rich and deregulation of industry aren’t an ideology. And all the rest of “conservatism” was just catnip for the rubes.

  42. 42
    Hunter Gathers says:

    Conservatism – standing athwart history, yelling “Kill All The Muslims!”

  43. 43
    Hunter Gathers says:

    Compassionate Conservatism – We don’t want the blacks in chains anymore, we just want them to starve to death.

  44. 44
    Hunter Gathers says:

    The GOP – It’s all right, ’cause it’s all white.

  45. 45
    matoko_chan says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    Conservatism: a postmodern cargo cult

    wow that is very good.
    ill have to think about the cognitive anthropology implications of that.

    here’s what i think…..consider the last 50 years of memetic selection in the conservative base.
    Selection for voters who can be scammed into voting against their economic self-interest, who are sufficiently undereducated to not understand ToE and basic meiosis, who are highly xenophobic, who despise science, intellectuals and acadame and whose religiosity index is extremely high.
    Its like biomemetic engineering to produce a tractable population that is extremely permeable to fearmongering and demagoguery…indeed, that ONLY responds to fear and sloganeering.

  46. 46
    El Cid says:

    Another bit of utter horse-shit is that ‘conservatives’ who support the most reactionary authoritarianism, state repression of abortion, the vast protection of their chosen industries, and bombing the shit out of any brown people they don’t like respect ‘liberty’.

    ‘Conservatives’ love liberty like vultures love carrion.

  47. 47
    eemom says:

    Liberty: for me but not for thee.

  48. 48
    jonas says:

    In one sentence, you still can’t beat John Kenneth Galbraith’s assessment: “The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy: that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”

  49. 49
    D. Mason says:

    I just believe that conservatism—at least as it currently exists—belongs in the dust bin of history, along with communism and various other ideologies that made some kind of sense intellectually but were utter disasters in practice.

    Sorry but I have to disagree here. At various times in history both liberal and conservative labels have been co-opted by poisonous ideologies. Some of you may remember when “liberalism” was co-opted in the 70’s by terrorists who were more interested in spitting on American troops and blowing shit up in the name of peace than liberal political philosophy – I’ve only read about this well document episode in American history. Right now conservatism as a term has been adopted by a vile alliance of warmongers and racists who don’t really stand on any conservative principles. It doesn’t seem that much different from where i sit.

    Conservatism will be toxic for a few decades then someone will come out who actually stands on ideas of individual economic freedom and responsible non-intrusive government. This will conveniently happen around the same time as the term “liberal” is being adopted by some group of fringe nutters. Lather, rinse, repeat.

  50. 50
    scav says:

    The New Conservatism™ — Reinventing the past to meet current greeds.

  51. 51
    matoko_chan says:

    and DougJ you are right….conservatism is obsolete, and on its deathbed.
    The rise of the third culture is one thing that is killing it.

    the right can’t get “culturally modern” because all their ideology is based on dead white guy philosophy.
    there are not any third culture intellectuals on the right.

  52. 52
    danimal says:

    The new conservatism: Same stinky turd, this time with pretty ribbons and bows!

  53. 53
    matoko_chan says:

    @D. Mason:

    Lather, rinse, repeat.

    wrong. the pendulum won’t swing back again because of the demographic timer on non-hispanic caucs.
    See, half of homo sap. inclines conservative, half liberal. but the darkskinned natural conservatives will never vote conservative….at least not for a loooong time. and then ….there is parental voting influence effect to keep them voting liberal possibly forever.

  54. 54
    malraux says:

    @D. Mason:

    Some of you may remember when “liberalism” was co-opted in the 70’s by terrorists who were more interested in spitting on American troops

    Bullshit. Didn’t happen. You’re telling lies or confusing a fantasy (specifically Rambo) with reality. Which is another good one sentence description of conservatism.

    http://www.slate.com/id/1005224

  55. 55
    Scott de B. says:

    Conservatism will be toxic for a few decades then someone will come out who actually stands on ideas of individual economic freedom and responsible non-intrusive government.

    They’ll be the first, then.

  56. 56
    Alex S. says:

    same old thing in brand new drag

  57. 57
    TR says:

    I got mine, fuck you.

  58. 58
    TR says:

    Some of you may remember when “liberalism” was co-opted in the 70’s by terrorists who were more interested in spitting on American troops and blowing shit up in the name of peace than liberal political philosophy – I’ve only read about this well document episode in American history.

    It’s actually the opposite of “well-documented.” The whole spitting on troops thing is a myth.

    The Weathermen did try to blow shit up, but they succeeded in mostly killing themselves. And they had about 1/10000 the cache in modern liberalism that right-wing terrorists like Army of Life and Eric Rudolph have had in modern conservatism.

  59. 59
    Tonal Crow says:

    “Putting on the Ring and becoming Gollum”

    or (of course!)

    “Conservatism cannot fail, it can only be failed.”

  60. 60
    Rock says:

    Wow….I vote for “A postmodern cargo cult” as well. That’s awesome and apt for a group of people who like the junk they get from government a lot, but don’t see why it should cost them any money.

    “I’ve got mine, fuck you.” is a strong-second place (I was going to post that one, but I was way too late…I need to stop doing stuff like preparing meals and spend more time monitoring posts here…).

  61. 61
    Tonal Crow says:

    Then there’s “Boundless dishonesty in pursuit of boundless power”

  62. 62
    Spaghetti Lee says:

    Me Me Me.

  63. 63
    David says:

    Conservatism is 99 and 44/100% pure bullshit.

  64. 64
    matoko_chan says:

    @malraux: yep, bullshytt.
    what actually is happening is evolution.
    the savannah principle

  65. 65
    Tonal Crow says:

    “All through the day, I me mine I me mine I me mine.”

  66. 66
    Anne Laurie says:

    @DougJ:

    I don’t know what to make of David Frum as a person.

    The Sammy Glick of the modern gated community demographic. “In the film politics industry, Manheim remarks at one point in the novel, it is the rule rather than the exception that “convictions are for sale,” with people double-crossing each other whenever the slightest chance presents itself to them… “

  67. 67
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Xecky Gilchrist:

    My one-sentence description would be “The Other Scientology of pure greed.”

    How about “Scientology for ugly people”?

  68. 68
    Greg says:

    “Praise Jesus, cut taxes, and kick ass!”

  69. 69
    patroclus says:

    A pretend ideology for people who are embarrassed by real conservatives but who still cling to outmoded, misguided and nonsensical dogmas nonetheless.

  70. 70
    b-psycho says:

    Modernity is to conservatism what diaper rash is to a baby.

  71. 71
    mslarry says:

    The fifties, fuck yeah!

  72. 72
    DougJ says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Me likey.

  73. 73
    d.s. says:

    Sorry but I have to disagree here. At various times in history both liberal and conservative labels have been co-opted by poisonous ideologies. Some of you may remember when “liberalism” was co-opted in the 70’s by terrorists who were more interested in spitting on American troops and blowing shit up in the name of peace than liberal political philosophy – I’ve only read about this well document episode in American history. Right now conservatism as a term has been adopted by a vile alliance of warmongers and racists who don’t really stand on any conservative principles. It doesn’t seem that much different from where i sit.

    I hope you’re just trolling, but yeah, the whole “spitting on troops” thing is a myth, and the left-wing fringe that existed in the 60s and 70s was just that, a fringe. If anything, what they despised was the mainstream liberal establishment, because at that point conservatism was not the dominant force in politics.

    In 1972, the Democrats nominated a liberal anti-war candidate, George McGovern, but he was a World War II veteran elected senator by those famous communists of South Dakota. 4 years later, chastened by their loss, Democrats nominated a moderate Southern Baptist preacher as their candidate.

    What destroyed liberalism in the 70s was not a bunch of dirty hippies who somehow took over the Democratic national convention. It was stagflation and racial issues.

    Republicans don’t like to talk about the “Southern strategy,” their use of racial animosity to gain political strength, so they concocted a wild story about Jane Fonda taking over the Democratic party and driving away middle America.

    Conservatism will be toxic for a few decades then someone will come out who actually stands on ideas of individual economic freedom and responsible non-intrusive government. This will conveniently happen around the same time as the term “liberal” is being adopted by some group of fringe nutters. Lather, rinse, repeat.

    Republicans are on the cusp of taking over Congress, just two years after being tossed out by the electorate for driving the country to shambles. Hardly sounds “toxic.”

  74. 74
    joeyess says:

    Lipstick and eyeshadow on a pig.

  75. 75
    Anya says:

    Conservatism: War and Greed R Us!

  76. 76
    d.s. says:

    The fifties, fuck yeah!

    I don’t quite understand this line about conservatives loving the 50s. The modern conservative movement sprung up to a reaction to the post-war political consensus, exemplified by Eisenhower.

    Obviously they dislike some of the civil rights changes that occurred after the 50s, but do any conservatives want to go back to 90% tax rates, 30% unionization, and heavy government regulation of the economy, even if it means blacks and women get put back in line?

    The line that they sell to their base is that they want to go back to the old fashioned values of the 50s, but the policies they implement try to take us back the 1890s.

  77. 77
    suzanne says:

    Conservatism: Because ugly white bastards need slap-and-tickle, too.

  78. 78
    The Dangerman says:

    Another vote for “I’ve got mine, fuck you”.

  79. 79
    Hob says:

    “Myles SG”? Oh man, I know that knowing commenter names from other blogs just means I have no life, but oy… if that guy’s hanging out here now, we will all be missing B.O. Bill. Last I saw him, he was mainly going around justifying every fucked-up thing the CIA ever did in the name of anti-communism, in a creepy breezy tone that’s half Tom Clancy and half John Goodman in the “I can get you a toe” speech.

  80. 80
    efgoldman says:

    @Myles SG:

    Ahh, Childe Myles, do come in. Driven from Yglesias by the trolls worse than you?

    Everybody, this is Childe Myles. You should meet him. He is a supercilious twit who’s economic, political and social views were formed in the 90s.

    The 1890s.

    He claims to be a real conservative, but he’s just an elitist, I’ve got mine and the poor deserve it, classical kind of guy.

    Welcome, Childe Myles, but watch your step. You’ll find a lot less tolerance for conservatrolls here than at TP.

  81. 81
    malraux says:

    @d.s.: The big issue is that much of the base grew up in the 50’s. So they remember the suburbs as a happy an idyllic place, rather than a specific issue of white flight. Since they were kids then, they don’t remember paying taxes. Its about wanting to return to youth, rather than specifically the 50s.

  82. 82
    MikeJ says:

    @DougJ:

    I don’t know what to make of David Frum as a person but he’s created the one conservative site worth reading.

    I thought Balloon Juice was the one conservative blog worth reading.

  83. 83
    Martin says:

    Frum’s definition is this?

    A reality-based, culturally modern, socially inclusive and environmentally responsible politics that supports free markets, limited government and a peaceful American-led world order.

    That’s a far more accurate definition of the Democratic Party than anything the GOP has suggested. Fuck, even on the limited government and free market angle, the Dems have the GOP beat. The only argument about the government is *which part* should be big – the GOP says the military, the Dems say the safety nets. As for free market – the GOP is really pushing for a market dominated by large multinationals – which isn’t a free market in any sense. The Dems at least are trying in small measures to create opportunities for small businesses and to restrain the multinationals.

  84. 84
    Catsy says:

    @jonas:

    In one sentence, you still can’t beat John Kenneth Galbraith’s assessment: “The modern conservative is engaged in one of man’s oldest exercises in moral philosophy: that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.”

    This.

  85. 85
    Little Dreamer says:

    ‘We say we love and worship Jesus, but we really worship and secretly admire is Darwin’s “Survival of the Fittest”, in fact we love it so much that we wish all that are not “the fittest” (that’s us, of course) would perish as soon as possible.’

  86. 86
    Little Dreamer says:

    @Martin:

    Socially inclusive? What the hell is he smoking?

  87. 87
    calling all toasters says:

    “Fascism for pussies.”

  88. 88

    ‘Long Live the Shaw”

  89. 89
    Mark S. says:

    @d.s.:

    I don’t quite understand this line about conservatives loving the 50s. The modern conservative movement sprung up to a reaction to the post-war political consensus, exemplified by Eisenhower.

    Ike would never make it in today’s GOP. This reminds me of a quote from Hunter S. Thompson:

    If Dwight Eisenhower had come back from the war and decided to run as a Democrat–which he almost did–there would be no Republican party today. They would be like the Ku Klux Klan, small knots of hate-crazed rich people scattered in walled ghettos around the country, instead of the dominant ruling autocracy they have been for most of the last four decades.

    I think that’s why so many conservative pundits slobber over Petraeus, seeing him as a respectable figure to save the party from Sarah and the teabaggers.

  90. 90
    giantslor says:

    “Just another failed ideology”
    “The Other Scientology of pure greed.”
    “Scientology for ugly people”

    Those are phrases, not sentences. To be sentences they would need a subject, e.g., “Conservatism is Scientology for ugly people.”

  91. 91
    thalarctos says:

    @Jim, Foolish Literalist:

    “axis of evil”, to pick an example at random

    I see what you did there.

  92. 92
    EvanSchenck says:

    If you look at the original quote Frum put down it’s obvious what he’s doing.
    “A reality-based, culturally modern, socially inclusive and environmentally responsible politics that supports free markets, limited government and a peaceful American-led world order.”

    The bolded part is the important bit. The rest of it is either self-delusion/lies (“environmentally responsible” conservatism? Be serious) or empty signifiers, but those two phrases are doing all the work. Frum has realized too late that he threw his hand in with a bunch of unreconstructed sons of the Confederacy, and he’s afraid that they’re going to take his ideology down with them. He wants American Conservatism without the racists and evangelicals.

    So my translation of what Frum wants to say is,
    “We have become sufficiently embarrassed by our pet hillbillies to beg other demographics to believe our bad-faith arguments. Pretty please rescue our failed ideology from the idiots we’ve riled up.”

    Of course Frum refuses to realize that his suggested movement (fiscal conservatives and military hawks) isn’t large enough to be a working coalition. It never was, which was why the Republicans invited the social conservatives into the tent in the first place.

  93. 93
    Brachiator says:

    The title of this post is my entry. What’s yours?

    Dull needle stuck in the same worn out groove: free markets, deregulation, free markets, deregulation…

  94. 94
    Mike E says:

    Reformed conservatism: the extruder-nozzle through which all manner of ideas can be force fed to a delusional public.

  95. 95
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Mark S.:

    If Dwight Eisenhower had come back from the war and decided to run as a Democrat—which he almost did—there would be no Republican party today. They would be like the Ku Klux Klan, small knots of hate-crazed rich people scattered in walled ghettos around the country,

    Or, like now, both things would be true.

    Even Hunter couldn’t imagine that small knots of hate-filled Klansmen walled in ghettos would in fact control everything. Blame it on our newfound ability to work remotely.

    Let’s see, Eisenhower is now considered basically a Democrat by Wingnut standards, so he DID come back and run as a Democrat really, and thus, the prophecy is retroactively fulfilled.

  96. 96
    Little Dreamer says:

    @EvanSchenck:

    Frum is too invested in the Republican party to just admit he was wrong in sticking by it, instead he needs to rebrand it and act as if the last 50+ years never happened.

    It’s a fantasy, and no sane person will buy it.

  97. 97
    Martin says:

    @EvanSchenck: I think what Frum is trying to do is even more transparently tactical. In a word, he’s saying “Latinos are the future of politics”, and wrapping everything back around that point. And that really is the bottom line for both parties – given the electoral math, if the GOP loses the border states, and they’ve lost CA and NM, they’ll never hold the Presidency again and they’ll be forever weak in the House. The Senate is clearly the GOPs current tactical plan – there’s a lot of Senators piled up in the small southern and mid-Atlantic states. Not so many in the west.

  98. 98
    Bill Murray says:

    Conservatives would gladly pay you Tuesday for a missile to kill brown people today; and complain that you don’t have any money in the mean time

  99. 99
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @Little Dreamer:

    Frum is too invested in the Republican party to just admit he was wrong in sticking by it, instead he needs to rebrand it and act as if the last 50+ years never happened.

    Yup. Frum is DavidBroder 2.0. Or maybe it’s 7.0 by now, I can’t keep track.

    As far as Eisenhower and the fifties, I saw an interview with Rachel Maddow last week, can’t remember where, in which she said (IIRC, which I probably don’t) she’s in about 90% agreement with the Republican platforms of 1952 and ’56.

  100. 100
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    Shorter Frum:

    “If you just remove the racism and hate and fealty to Rush Limbaugh and devotion to a two-tiered society and slavish devotion to failed ideologies of disgraced philosophers, then it’s really a great party”

  101. 101
    JBerardi says:

    “one-sentence description of a modernized, reformed conservatism”.

    A whole sentence? Conservatism isn’t nearly that complex. My entry:

    Corporatism.

  102. 102
    matoko_chan says:

    @Anne Laurie: nope.
    Scientology for stupid people.

  103. 103
    Little Dreamer says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    I wish that had a “Like” button! I’d push it. ;)

  104. 104
    Scamp Dog says:

    @malraux: I’ll agree with that. I’ve come to the conclusion that in this country, we have a conservative party, and a radical, right-wing nationalist party with a taste for authoritarianism and theocracy.

  105. 105
    fucen tarmal says:

    modern conservatism;

    we did it all for the nookie, if by nookie you mean, jesus wants me to have a gun, to keep my job with daddy’s friends away from any of those “others”, and ignore all this new fangled science mumbo jumbo, and to kill people for peace because he loves america, fuck yeah!

  106. 106
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    Actually the more I let that sit, I think Hunter Thompson’s line is just about the perfect description:

    small knots of hate-crazed rich people scattered in walled ghettos around the country

    That would be the non-reformed version of course, the reformed modern version would be:

    small knots of hate-crazed rich people scattered in walled ghettos around the country pretending to be moderate

  107. 107
    LikeableInMyOwnWay says:

    Hey, where the hell is Tenguphule when you need him?

    Clipped from DKos: What the fuck is going on in Hawaii?

    —-///

    According to the E Pule Kakou official web site, during E Pule Kakou week in 2009, several people were successfully raised from the dead, a man was healed of an incurable blood disease, and, during a church-sponsored Thanksgiving turkey dinner, there was a miraculous, divine multiplication of turkey dinners reminiscent of the multiplication of loaves and fishes described in the New Testament of the Bible.

    This might seem silly to secular America, good grist for a hearty mocking by John Stewart or Stephen Colbert. But there are real-world implications to the meteoric rise of the New Apostolic Reformation. If Sarah Palin runs for president in 2012 we could have a New Apostolic Reformation president, and the Medieval, demon haunted movement is really impacting people’s lives.

    In Hawaii, for example, the right wing charismatic evangelical churches behind E Pule Kakou also helped put Hawaii’s current governor, Linda Lingle, into power in 2002. On July 6th 2010, immediately before she vetoed a civil unions bill, HB444, that would have allowed same sex couples in Hawaii the same legal rights as opposite-sex married couples, Lingle invited evangelical anti-gay rights pastors into her executive office for a special prayer.

    As Hawaii activist Carroll Cox chronicled the event [1, 2], it was reminiscent of the deep South during Segregation except the the state-enforced bigotry was directed not at African-Americans but at gay rights groups – on that day pro-gay right protesters, who were required to get a special use permit and liability insurance to demonstrate in favor of the civil unions bill, were crowded out of an area their permit said they could gather in.

  108. 108
    Jennifer says:

    Description of modern conservatism?

    “OW! My butt hurts! Because of the blacks/spics/Muslims/homos/poor people/women/liberals!”

  109. 109
    Bex says:

    Conservatism is oil in the marshes of our future.

  110. 110
    Alan says:

    Our ideology may be bankrupt but the Democrats are worse.

  111. 111
    matoko_chan says:

    amg it keeps getting worse.

    Two other things need to be considered as well:
    1) In a globalizing economy, the free market distributes rewards increasingly unequally. I wrote about this in an article published two summers ago:

    BULLSHYTT…ok, no idiot, the free market failed because of the dissolution of the White Patriarchy Social Cohesion paradigm. The bankstahs had to go to church every sunday and face up to god and their neighbors. And if they cheated and robbed their peers would shun them.
    No, Frum, it wasn’t globalism. it was lassiz faire free market capitalism.
    It DOESN’T FUCKING WORK ANYMORE.

  112. 112
    Frank L says:

    @jonas

    Economists seem to have figured out conservatives – John Stuart Mill said, “Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservative”

  113. 113
    Bernard says:

    Conservatives: the Free Lunch Party! you’re paying, not me.

  114. 114
    Steeplejack says:

    Conservatism: “Defending the status quo–from 50 years ago.”

  115. 115
    asiangrrlMN says:

    My first impulse was, “Fuck you, I have mine”, and I’m sticking with it. Or, “America, Fuck Yeah!” Whatever the sentence is (or phrase) it has to have the word fuck in it because that’s what the conservatives are trying to do to America.

  116. 116
    mclaren says:

    “A reality-based, culturally modern, socially inclusive and environmentally responsible politics that supports free markets, limited government and a peaceful American-led world order.”

    Close, but no cigar. Here’s the actual definition:

    “A reality-based global warming denying, culturally modern Reagan-80s-obsessed, socially inclusive white male wealthy and environmentally responsible oil volcano loving politics that supports free markets without penalties for thievery, limited government that tortures and kidnaps and assassinates American citizens and a peaceful American-led world order built on the bleached bones of the poorest people in the world.”

    Now that’s modernized conservatism.

  117. 117
    DPirate says:

    Communism an utter failure? I thought China was pwning us?

  118. 118
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    It came to me overnight:

    “Libertarianism without the pretending”

  119. 119
    apolight says:

    Fucking governments, how do they work?

  120. 120
    LanceThruster says:

    Modernized, reformed conservatism – Leveraging the money you’ll be borrowing to buy the rope you’ll want to hang yourself with when we prove yet again that government does not work.

    God Bless America!

    -OR-

    Modernized, reformed conservatism – Too dumb to fail.

  121. 121
    Ralph Dosser says:

    Serf’s up!

  122. 122
    jake the snake says:

    @AlanDean:

    As my father used to say, “What’s yours is mine, and what’s, mine, I got.”

  123. 123
    Bob says:

    “Making America’s rednecks feel smug about eating shit”

  124. 124
    matoko_chan says:

    my favorite comment from the current frumforum thread.

    drdredel // Jul 18, 2010 at 5:53 am

    @quell
    “If you run her in 2012 anywhere on the ticket Obama’s base of youth and minorities will come screaming down out of the heavens like a swarm of MQ-9 Reaper drones on an afghan wedding party.”

    Oh, boy… that had me wiping a tear from my (right) eye… thanks very much for that much needed morning boost.

    @Oskar
    I think you need to give David a little bit of space here. He’s someone that has spent a large portion of his adult life (perhaps the whole thing) deeply committed to a cause that has a specific label. Currently he is faced with the, regrettable, reality that he can no longer claim to be an “______” because upon making that claim he might be mistaken for… well… all sorts of things that have nothing whatsoever to do with his points of view.

    This is the problem with being a “______”… sooner or later a bunch of people join up and there’s a great probability that they’ll want “______” to be something totally different than what it was when you joined.

    Not to date myself, but when I was in High School I used to hang out with the skin heads. At the time, shaving your head meant that you listened to the Sex Pistols and gave people in business suits mean stares. Then, suddenly, as though overnight, having a shaved head meant that you were a neo-nazi. Our identity was hijacked. We had to grow Mohawks (I promptly did).

    David… I think it’s time to grow a mohawk. Alternatively, the Frum style conservatives (and I say that with the highest regard) should spearhead a movement to get the Tea Party its own political domain. Then Palin can go be a Party Girl and intelligent conservatives can have their Republican party back. Meanwhile, I’ll continue to vote for whoever appears to resemble a car sales-person LEAST.

  125. 125
    DonkeyKong says:

    How bout “YOU SHOULD JUST SMILE AND BLOW ME!!!”

    If there was a vein bulging font I would use that for the above slogan.

  126. 126
    The Modern Serf says:

    Modern Reform Conservatism: “There will be foreplay this time before we screw you.”

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