Sex, Death, Politics, Religion and Fireworks

Real Americans don’t need fancy museums, because art is all around us. Here are a few examples from the local fireworks stands.

Here’s some political art (click for a bigger image), containing some unflattering commentary on Bush and the Iraq War. Even Real Americans are sick of that guy.


This one is unremarkable other than to note that it was being sold at a stand run by a local bible-banging evangelical church.

This one is called “Sexxy Rider”. If you click to enlarge, you’ll see that she even has a pole dancing bruise on her leg. (Hat tip to my 15 year-old niece for telling me that and also for making me wonder how the hell she knew it.)

This one wasn’t being sold at the evangelical fireworks stand, but the theme would have been appropriate.






26 replies
  1. 1
    Keith G says:

    “Shoots flaming balls” …No…no…It’s Sunday AM. I just can’t go there.

    Sigh.

  2. 2
    frankdawg says:

    I have some ointment for those

    though I suppose shooting them would work in a way too.

  3. 3
    Cynicor says:

    Or you can be like the flaming idiot out here who blew his arm off at the shoulder after two days of shooting mortars over his neighbors’ homes to celebrate America.

  4. 4
    Cat Lady says:

    @Cynicor:

    Yeah, the title of this post should be Sex, Death, Politics, Religion, Fireworks and Darwinism.

  5. 5
    c u n d gulag says:

    I love fireworks displays put on by cities and organizations. I have been to some AMAZING ones:
    NYC Harbor – 1976 Becentennial – WOW! AND the tall ships!
    Brooklyn Bridge – How do you top this one?
    Statue of Liberty – That’s how!

    I hate the explosive ones imbeciles set off for several nights before and after the 4th.
    I also can’t stand the mortars and missiles that neighborhood idiots fire off, trying to show how cool they are. And if someone blows their arm off, or other valuable appendage, I don’t have a whole lot of sympathy for them. I just figure it’s Darwinism in action.

    PS: Check out Darwinawards.com if you haven’t already. It’s a guilty pleasure for a Liberal like me.

  6. 6
    geg6 says:

    I love fireworks, just love ’em. We have one of the world class fireworks companies located just up the road, Zambelli Brothers International, and Western PA has the most spectacular displays in one small area than, probably, anywhere in the country due to them. Even the small communities have great ones and the Zambellis are pretty community oriented and give cut rates to small and poor communities. The family has even paid for them themselves in some instances. People here consider themselves fireworks display experts. I will be going to a Zambelli show tonight in Moon Township with my sister and her beau and my John after a concert in the park. Can’t wait.

    Given that we have such pyrotechnic wealth here, you wonder why people who are amateurs insist on trying to compete. Especially considering how often they tend to blow off a limb or put out their eyes. But they do. Idiots.

  7. 7
    AhabTRuler says:

    I will stand by the best fireworks experience being Amsterdam at New Years. Not nearly so many organized displays, but the anarchistic lighting of fireworks anywhere and everywhere is an awesome experience.

  8. 8
    gnomedad says:

    “Shoots flaming balls and reports” reminds me of “Eats, shoots, and leaves”. But the preznit reports to no one!

  9. 9
    gnomedad says:

    The sushi ad immediately below the photos was amusing. I wonder what they do when you light them?

  10. 10
    Libby says:

    I love fireworks too. From the little ones you can buy at the stands down here to to the high tech. But just the colors. Not so much the artillery noise.

    The fireworks stands down here astound me. They spring up every year. They proliferate like 3 stool open air bars in a Jamaican beach village. You can even get small ones at the dollar store. The packaging is the best.

    Happy Independence Day Balloon Juicers.

  11. 11

    Straight From the Death Files

    Good Gawd Almighty.

    Major Garret on FNS- to Holy Joe Lieberman – on Rules of Engagement in Afghanistan

    Paraphrased by me (and reading between lines)

    Asks if General Petraeus should change ROE to allow attacking unseen Taliban. (meaning hunches that Taliban fighters might be, MIGHT BE in a structure, or other places) with airstrikes. No other intell but personal intuition, gut feelings, hairs on the back of your neck, little devils or angels sitting on your shoulder of military personnel.)

    Joe – Well we should be aware that this is a war that we need to win the support of the populace to prevail and killing the populace might not be a good idea, but the safety of soldiers takes precedent, so bombs away.

    Reminds me of the line from Full Metal Jacket

    Son, all I’ve ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It’s a hardball world, son. We’ve gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

    And Private Joker

    I wanted to see exotic Vietnam… the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture… and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!Just plug in Afghanistan for Vietnam.

    We need to stop this crap, chasing ghosts and killing civilians. and get focused on why we went there, for AQ.

  12. 12

    “Even Real Americans are sick of that guy.”

    That would be good to see.

    I noticed mention of a poll that found Americans coming around to the Administration view on health care as the various provisions begin to kick in. I don’t know if they are also making note of that fact that they were taken in by a bunch of liars.

    Probably the only way this country will make progress is for more people to discern when they are being lied to. Do you think that is going to happen?

  13. 13
    jrg says:

    Even Real Americans are sick of that guy.

    Yeah, because they now think he’s a librul. It should be also be noted that they are not so sick of him that they wouldn’t vote for someone who uses the exact same bullshit to get elected (*cough* Palin *cough*).

  14. 14
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    The best fireworks display I ever watched was from the deck of the USS Alabama in Mobile Bay. This wasn’t for the Fourth of July but later in the summer maybe seven or eight years ago for a conference of state legislators from the south (no, I’m not one, but my job sends me to such gatherings). The big outdoor social gathering that year took place on the deck of the battleship Alabama, there was fantastic food, freely-flowing adult beverages, live musicians (everything from jazz to classical to bluegrass), and then, once it was totally dark, this incredible fireworks display. Just an amazing, memorable night (and believe me, I don’t often say that about the outdoor social gatherings at legislative conferences!)

    My best Fourth of July fireworks experience was three or four years ago when I went over to Nashville to meet some visiting Canadian relatives and we all went to Riverfront Park to watch the ‘works. The Nashville Symphony performed and the display was gorgeous, imaginative, and went on forever. Whenever you thought “Okay, that must be the grande finale,” they’d go with a whole new cycle even more impressive than the last. By the time the real grande finale happened, it was almost disappointing because we’d been conditioned to expect another round.

    Most years (tonight included) I just walk out the front door of my apartment, stand in the communal parking lot with a glass of wine in hand, and watch a municipal fireworks show from a park located a mile or so away. It’s always a respectable display, with a fair number of “Ooh! Aah!” moments, and there’s no traffic or annoying crowds to cope with.

    Happy Fourth, everyone!

  15. 15

    flaming balls and reports sounds more like a clinton era thing, you know when the country thought it could solve all its problems with a 42 million dollar blow job….

    man what a halcyon.

  16. 16
    Albatrossity says:

    But the economy seems to have put a damper on public fireworks shows this year. You can count on those commies in DC to find a way to keep us from our patriotic urges to blow shit up.

  17. 17
    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist says:

    @Albatrossity: Our town canceled this year’s fireworks display due to a budget shortfall. :( And for once it’s supposed to be a fog-free July 4 evening along the Nor Cal coast!

  18. 18
    Mnemosyne says:

    I prefer my fireworks shot off by professionals well up into the sky. I’ve been almost hit by fireworks shot off by amateurs way too many times. Nothing like having to dive for your life because some fucktard’s bottle rocket is headed directly for your head to put you off the whole thing.

  19. 19
    gbear says:

    I’m kind of looking forward to the fireworks display at Taste of Minnesota in St. Paul this evening. They used to have fireworks every night of the event and they were OK to so-so. This year they decided to just do the fireworks on the fourth so they could do a better show. I think it’s going to be a great display. I only have to walk two blocks to get a clear view so I have no excuse to miss this one. Hope it’s not raining tonight. Thunderstorms are in the forcast all day. Blah.

  20. 20
    gbear says:

    @Mnemosyne:

    I got put off shooting fireworks when I accidentally shot a bottle rocket directly onto our neighbor’s roof.

    I had some whacko neighbors about 10 years ago who were shooting off bottle rockets all over the neighborhood. I was on the phone to the cops while bottle rockets were bouncing off my house. The neighborhood looked like a ticker-tape parade had gone through. The cops arrived at 2:45am just as the morons shot up a bunch of bottle rockets. One of the assholes was a rich suburban kid who was such a dick that his parents made him go play (and threaten people) with his cousins in the city. He got busted and spent the night in jail and the neighborhood was so glad to see him gone. I’ve hated residential fireworks ever since.

  21. 21
    Daddy-O says:

    I don’t know where you’re getting these most excellent graphics, mistermix, but they’re driving my local neocons crazy…

    Miss me yet? I don’t THINK so…

    ha ha

  22. 22
    Daddy-O says:

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: A most excellent comment, except I can’t agree with the sentiment that we were or are in Afghanistan to get al Qaeda or Osama bin Laden.

    We are in Afghanistan to provide a carpet of bombs, since the Taliban rejected Colin Powell’s carpet of gold in mid-2001, pre-9/11.

    God bless Media Whores Online, now and forever…the only voice of sanity for such a short time.

  23. 23
    Quiddity says:

    I like the fireworks packaging, but what’s that flesh-toned thing, and the dark-blue-with-white-star-object, at Bush’s right?

    I’ve blown up the image, brightened it, but can’t figure out what the hell it’s supposed to be. (I don’t think it’s Bush’s arm.)

  24. 24
    OriGuy says:

    Famous last words: “Watch this! Hold my beer!”

  25. 25
    rdale says:

    I love fireworks, shooting them, buying them (I have to drive to a different state to get the real thing, and dodge the constabulatory on the way home); I love the sound, the smell, everything about them. That said, I live in a place with a lot of scrub oak that dries out by July and I don’t ever shoot them in the summer. For New Year’s, though, I go all out, usually a couple hundred dollars worth. My wife is European and says that’s a tradition there, and that’s a good enough excuse for me! Plus there’s usually a couple of feet of snow and it’s a lot harder to catch anything on fire. One of the best shows I ever saw was 1985 in New York City, at the centennial of the Statue of Liberty; fireworks and tall ships, from a rented Staten Island Ferry. We can see a lot of displays from where we live, but if you’re going to watch a show you need to be where you can feel the concussion and have debris fall on you.

  26. 26
    bob h says:

    A very good play about Bush “When We Go Upon the Sea”, by Lee Blessing, just closed in NYC. I had forgotten how much I loathed the man. It was good to reconnect with those visceral feelings.

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