Adding Tunku Varadarajan to my RSS reader was a wise decision:
In days of yore, when boys at British boarding schools were summoned to the headmaster’s study for six of the best, they took care to put on three extra pairs of underpants to absorb the sting of the cane.
[…..] [N]ot even the balm applied by the Republican Joe Barton—who referred to BP’s $20 billion escrow fund as a government “shakedown” and “slush fund,” words which evoked a collective gasp from Wolf Blitzer & Co. on CNN—was salve enough for Hayward’s welts. It was hard, at this stage, not to feel sorry for the man, not to wince each time the camera panned to his puce-complexioned face.And then something remarkable happened. The subcommittee broke for half an hour to vote on unrelated matters. On their return, it was clear that Hayward had not merely slipped on several additional pairs of boxer shorts, but that he’d also decided—in the protective solitude of the powder room—to do some personal and political math on a square of House loo-paper….
Loo-paper?
Bailey
Toilet paper.
AKA Loo roll or bog roll.
Yutsano
@Bailey: I sincerely hope DougJ is being sarcastic and is just mocking Turku here. Plus this just adds evidence to my contention that DougJ is a masochist. I got through the first page then was gagging so hard I had to look away. That is some serious, umm, something.
General Egali Tarian Stuck
Well, the dude needs to speak murrikin if he’s going to live here. Poo paper would have done the trick. And by gawd as my witness, I didn’t know Big Oil CEO’s even went to the powder room. That’s news to me.
Hunter Gathers
You’ve got a real type of thing going down, gettin’ down
There’s a whole lot of rhythm going round
Yutsano
@General Egali Tarian Stuck: You just reminded me of the Family Guy episode where Brian goes to the New Yorker magazine, and asks to use the bathroom. When he’s escorted in, he asks why there are no toilets. “Oh, no one at the New Yorker has an anus.”
General Egali Tarian Stuck
@Yutsano:
This guy reminds me of a Thurston Howell the 3rd with really good weed.
Bailey
@Yutsano:
I had hoped so. But then it just didn’t seem that funny or an interesting point for mockery. (Unusual for DougJ.)
Alas.
Yutsano
@Bailey: I think that’s what they call a rare miss. You’re right in that DougJ usually gives us much more meaty bites to work with. We’ll deal though, we’re tough like that.
Polish the Guillotines
Boarding schools? Headmasters?
Reminds me of one of Michael Palin’s finest.
Steeplejack
Why, yes, I do believe a little P-Funk would be in order . . .
Mark S.
Then why are we picking on this guy? He said he was sorry.
Awwww . . . fuck you Tunku.
Us? You’re on your own on that one.
fucen tarmal
i wonder if chrissy hitchens and turku ever get together turn the lights real low and pretend they are back in boarding school….
by the way anyone see the chrissy hitchens interview where he goes on at length about why he prefers “christopher” to chris? then tries to preempt the obvious fun by claiming his friends call him “hitch”. if you are going to be the sort of person who doesn’t like the familiar shortening of names, can you then also be the type who gives themselves a nickname?
its like a pousse cafe of pretentiousness.
fucen tarmal
@Steeplejack:
excellent selection, the funk is always good,
bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yeah, a-tom-ic daaawwwwagg
Yutsano
@fucen tarmal:
Will Smith called. He would like his movie back plz. kthxbai.
PeakVT
In days of yore, when boys at British boarding schools were summoned to the headmaster’s study for six of the best
I think this might have crossed over from literary device to TMI territory.
Polish the Guillotines
@PeakVT: Agreed. Especially when it’s followed up with “balm applied by the Republican Joe Barton.”
Yutsano
@Polish the Guillotines: It rubs the lotion on its skin?
Polish the Guillotines
@Yutsano: Yellow card.
fucen tarmal
shorter tunku, and yes these are in the article
“Thwack-thwack-thwack , swish-swish-swish”
the farmer
This Tunku Varadarajan windbag reminds me of a character that would have been eaten by dogs or strangled to death with a pair of nylon stockings by a Bengalese whore pretty early-on into a Harry Flashman adventure.
*
the farmer
Except that they didn’t have nylon back in HF’s day.
But, whatever.
*
TuiMel
@the farmer:
Someone would have invented it to off this guy, who apparently is the poster-boy of pretentiousness. So, Tina Brown must really dig him.
Yutsano
@TuiMel: I imagine Sally Quinn gets quite moist for dear Turku evey time he columnizes. I just made myself ill.
El Cid
Such, such were the joys.
Orwell didn’t just write 1984 and Animal Farm, but those were the only things remembered in the West because they seemed anti-communist.
fucen tarmal
@Yutsano:
sally quinn getting moist? her nest hasn’t been fouled since reagan pulled out of beirut.
Svensker
@fucen tarmal:
Why did you have to say that? Was it necessary? Eeek. Gaak. I’ve got to put off breakfast for at least another hour now.
bago
So it’s come down to cheap nationalistic insults has it? It must be soccer season.
Alright, let’s join in.
(cue Jersey voice)
Hey hey hey. Youse. Britain. How’z about we make a little deal? You stop shitting oil all over our country, and we’l stop shitting all over your has been CEO! Heeeyo!
But I mean seriously, dis guy is a peice o work. They drags him up there and asks him “do you know how much this part of your company costs?” and he’s all like “I dunno”. They ask about anotha part, nd he’s still bein all dumb. It’s like they pay this guy 6 million dollas a year to not know nuttin. Sweet gig if you asks me.
PK
My only question is, who the hell names their kid Tunku?
SiubhanDuinne
@PK: Mama and Papa Varadarajan
Uloborus
I believe you folks are not understanding DougJ’s attraction here. I am fairly sure he loves Tunku because he is reducing political commentary past ‘stupid’ to ‘camp’. He is fascinated as Tunku uses, as was just pointed out, Dickensian prose to describe… congressional hearings.
Okay, maybe I’m giving Doug too much credit here, but that seems like a reason to like this.
It’s rather like reading Ghormenghast.
jayjaybear
Tunky is just too, too precious.
Also, twee.