All I Wanted Were Some New Damned Sheets

Dropped off Tunch at the vets (he is fine, surgery went well, I’ve called several times to check on him), went to Petco and Bed, Bath and Beyond with mom for a featherbed, some new pillows, a light comforter, a duvet cover, and some sheets, and on my way home I found this:

That is a Tunch-sized Jack Russell Terrier- she is every bit as pudgy as she is affectionate, that I found on a side road in the middle of the country on the way home. She was just sitting in the middle of the road, wet, tail between her legs, panting, and in obvious distress, so I stopped to check on her. I opened the door, went back to behind the car to get her, she ran around the other side of the car and jumped in the driver’s side door that I had left open.

She had no collar but had marks from where she used to have one, so I don’t know if she is someone’s pet who got away, but that area is notorious for dumping and I went to every house for five miles in either direction and no one recognized her. I’m taking some pictures and posting them around this area.

She’s already bonded to me, and Lily has her nose out of joint, but they have managed to figure out a way to share my lap when I sit down in the lazyboy. I really don’t need another dog, so I am going to try to find her owners or place her. If anyone in the northern panhandle wants a very, very sweet and well-fed JRT young lady, email me.

164 replies
  1. 1
    Mumphrey says:

    I hope somebody’s lost her, and sisn’t just dump her on the side of the road. Who would do something like that? Good luck on finding her owner.

  2. 2
    Comrade Mary says:

    Awesome rescue! W00t!

    I really don’t need another dog, so I am going to try to find her owners or place her.

    That’s both sweet and sensible.

    That said, I think there is a non-zero chance that you may keep this honeybunch after all. Good luck either way!

    EDIT: OMGWTFBBQ, SHE’S ON TUNCH’S THROW! Please don’t let her be his grumpy post-vet snack.

  3. 3
    wobblybits says:

    and if you don’t find someone? Can we start a pool on the name for your new little girl?

  4. 4
    cleek says:

    you’re a hero to the doggies, JC. name her “Jackie-O” and buy her a Steelers vest.

    but this post’s title makes me think of this

  5. 5
    Martin says:

    North Korea/Brazil starting now. Somehow DPRK has fans in the stands. I can’t quite wrap my head around that.

  6. 6
    Morbo says:

    @Martin: Even the coach for Brazil only has one name.

  7. 7
    dmsilev says:

    You’re a mensch, John.


  8. 8
    licensed to kill time says:

    Ay, pobrecita! I hope you find her home, or a home, or that she settles in nicely with her new sisterdog and brocat. Once again, you are a good man, Meester Cole.

    edit: I guess calling her poor ‘little’ thing isn’t 100% accurate.

    Ay, gordita! (lil fatty!)

  9. 9
    Amylw says:

    OMG, Tunch is gonna throw a fit when he gets home and smells strange on his blanket.

  10. 10
    jibeaux says:

    Oh my. Very good of you to pick her up, and I hope you can find her a home soon.

    Hate to even say it, but could she be pregnant?

  11. 11
    tim says:

    “She’s already bonded to me…” And perhaps you to her, John?

    hahaha…oh yeah, she’ll be staying. For good. :D

  12. 12
    eemom says:

    Lily will get over her jealousy. Doggies love a playmate.

    I vote keep her.

  13. 13
    Anne Laurie says:

    John, I hope Lost Girl’s person(s) are looking for her as frantically as Lily is praying to Baroo (god of small dogs) that somebody will come take her away already.

    Barring a happy reunion, you may have to consider the possibility that this is an early birthday present from the Trickster God…

  14. 14
    jacy says:

    Sure, sure, we all start out by saying we don’t really need another dog…

    Best of luck with finding either worried owners, finding her a spiffy new home, or brokering what peace you can when she ends up staying forever.

    I am making no bets on which of those will occur, but I know how it ends up around my house.

  15. 15
    Lab Partner says:

    I’m guessing your parents don’t need another hellhound.

    I don’t know John, the way the JRT jumped up into the driver’s side of the car smells of kharma.

  16. 16
    Martin says:

    @Morbo: Yeah, I noticed that. Jeez.

    The commentary during the Portugal game was interesting. Ronaldo’s reputation for taking dives really is openly mocked, isn’t it?

  17. 17
    jibeaux says:

    By the by, we had been considering getting a dog at the end of the summer, because we have a couple of vacations planned and just thought it would be logistically easier that way.

    So anyway, some friend of a friend puts up pictures of a terrier mix puppy that needs a forever home, he’s just so derned cute, and tomorrow night I am going to look at a puppy. It’s not exactly according to plan, but won’t my kids be thrilled? We’ve told them “later” so many times.

  18. 18
    Randy P says:

    I really don’t need another dog, so I am going to try to find her owners or place her.

    Somehow I am anticipating a different end to this story.

    John, you’re a really nice guy with a lot of love to give to pets, but I’m wondering if you have an upper limit on the number of pets you’re willing to bring into your home? This plus the earlier post about that kitten has started me worrying.

    Can we draw the line at, I dunno, 10 each of cats/dogs? Plus no more than, say, half a dozen rabbits (give or take) and a hard limit of 3 crocodiles?

  19. 19
    scav says:

    @Anne Laurie: Loki does spring to mind, Lucky Loki.

  20. 20
    Matt says:

    Many pets now have ID chips implanted between their shoulders. Last month we took in a stray cat overnight and brought him to Animal Welfare the next day to see if he was chipped, and he was. By law, we were required to leave him there while they attempted to contact his owners. We never heard back from the shelter, so hopefully there was a happy reunion there.

  21. 21
    jacy says:


    Egads, hadn’t thought of that.

    But from experience living out in the middle of nowhere, pregnancy seem to be a popular reason for stupid, worthless “humans” dumping defensless critters. We’ve personally seen that happen about three times in the past few years out where we are. Sigh.

  22. 22
    Scuffletuffle says:

    None of us ever need another, but when one comes our way …

  23. 23
    EDantes says:

    Forgive me for believing this is a good personal growth opportunity for Lily.

  24. 24
    dmsilev says:

    @Randy P: I’m thinking that if he has three crocodiles, the rabbit population issue will solve itself…


  25. 25
    Jules says:


    But your cat is going to kill you when he gets home…

  26. 26

    Since she is well fed, she has had an owner. Since her collar is gone, the evidence points to she got dumped. Make all the effort to satisfy your conscience, and make room for a Lily playmate, and Tunch insurrection. You have a yard and house now, time to expand into an animal farm, of sorts.

    And speaking of insurrection, here is your senate candidate from NV – Frau Angle

    Said Angle: “You know, our Founding Fathers, they put that Second Amendment in there for a good reason and that was for the people to protect themselves against a tyrannical government. And in fact Thomas Jefferson said it’s good for a country to have a revolution every 20 years. I hope that’s not where we’re going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.”

    Charming, “Second Amendment Remedies”./ Don’t shoot till you see the color of their skin.

  27. 27
    D-Chance. says:

    Dropped off Tunch at the vets (he is fine, surgery went well, I’ve called several times to check on him), went to Petco and Bed, Bath and Beyond with mom for a featherbed, some new pillows, a light comforter, a duvet cover, and some sheets…

    Cue it up

  28. 28
    Elroy's Lunch says:

    You’re a good man John Cole. If she was dumped I have different words for those who may have done that. Hope it turns out well for both you and that JRT.

  29. 29
    demo woman says:

    I found a golden retriever and brought her home until I found the owner. I went to the local vet and he mentioned that their are owners that shouldn’t have dogs but then quickly said he didn’t recognize her. Long story short I posted signs and the local UPS driver saw the sign and happened to deliver a package at the home of the owners a few miles away. The dog went back home. Several months later a neighbor came by with the same dog. She assumed it was mine because the dog was so excited when she came close to my house. I gave the neighbor the name and address of the owners and she brought the dog home. The neighbor then called me in tears, more like sobs, because when she returned the pup, he was put on a spiked choker collar and hung on a post with a six foot medal chain. We discussed sneaking up at night and rescuing the dog, but felt that might not be the best of ideas. What we did instead is make sure that everyone in the neighborhood knew about the dog and to make sure to find it a good home if she came through again. The owners did show up at my house again looking for the dog so hopefully the pup found a good home and lived happily ever after.

    Moral of the story, be careful returning the dog.

  30. 30
    Chat Noir says:

    I hope you can find her a good home if you aren’t able to keep her. What an adorable dolly. It makes me so sad that anyone would dump a precious canine (or feline).

  31. 31
    Martin says:

    I have to agree, that’s a very kind move there John. Both to rescue that sweet dog, but also to bring Tunch home a nice snack.

  32. 32

    What Matt @20 said – see if she’s chipped.

  33. 33
    Violet says:

    You’re a good man. She looks awfully sweet. I hope you find her real home and it’s a safe one with people who love her and are frantic she’s missing. If not that, I hope you find her a good one. I’m with the folks thinking her forever home might be just where she is now.

  34. 34
    mistermix says:

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Or she slipped it. Our neighbor’s beagle slipped his collar the other day and ran for the hills. My neighbor is 83, so I had to chase that little shit down. Luckily, his dog likes our dog, so I used her as bait.

    Second the chip recommendation. Doesn’t hurt to check.

  35. 35
    mr. whipple says:

    She had no collar but had marks from where she used to have one, so I don’t know if she is someone’s pet who got away, but that area is notorious for dumping and I went to every house for five miles in either direction and no one recognized her.

    You are a mensch.

  36. 36
    Stroszek says:

    I will cry if Brazil takes it easy on North Korea, ties Portugal and then fails to advance because they politely declined to run up the score on a bunch of oppressed farmers.

  37. 37
    EDantes says:

    God I love the Scottish commentators accent!

    Can we get a North Korea terrifies Brazil thread please?

  38. 38
    Stroszek says:

    Or laugh my ass off. Maybe both.

  39. 39


    Or she slipped it.

    always a possibility. Cole may want to check with the local doggie shelter also, if her owner wants her back, they likely would call there.

  40. 40
    stuckinred says:

    @Mumphrey: My cocker was dumped in a box on our vets doorstep. Horrible eyes, bladder stones, scratches all the time. . .and she’s the sweetest happiest little doggie in the world. We are guessing that whoever was overwhelmed with vet bills and at least gave here a chance by dropping her at the vet instead of on the road.

  41. 41
    Chat Noir says:

    @mr. whipple:

    You are a mensch.

    Totally. Should have mentioned that in my previous post.

  42. 42
    schrodinger's cat says:

    aww what a cutie. You saved another dog! Meanwhile Tunch is not going to be amused.
    Good luck with the situation, and keep us updated.

  43. 43
    elmo says:

    Well done, John. Well done indeed.

    A few months ago, I told a similar story here, about finding a starved terrier mix, having him rip the everloving crap out of my hands while I grabbed him – he was that terrified – and bringing him home.

    I seriously, really, honestly, was going to either re-home him or put him in the shelter. I do a lot of rescue, and at the time, I had eight dogs in the house.

    Now I have nine. I asked here for names, and got several good suggestions, but we ended up calling him Banjo. As in, “Paddle faster, I hear banjo music.” Dangerous little beast.

    He sleeps in my bed and cuddles on the couch every night.

    Resistance is futile, John. You will be assimilated.

    Call her Terri, after Bradshaw. Or Immaculata. Or — ooh, I like this one — call her Rooney.

  44. 44

    There is a special place in hell reserved for puppy dumpers.

    The best dog I ever had was dumped at a federal national recreation area where I worked in rural Kentucky. People dumped animals there ALL THE FREAKING TIME and since it was surrounded by water, they were pretty much left to fend for themselves. The lucky ones found their way to a campground or the administrative offices, where they either found a home with a staff member or were taken to a county shelter where at least they were humanely put down.

    My poor Zelda was covered in sores and tick bites by the time I got her but she cleaned up pretty quick and I had her for 12 years until she died this spring from cancer. A treasure of an puppy!

  45. 45
    Fleas correct the era says:

    @Lab Partner: Carma, surely?

  46. 46

    Call her Terri, after Bradshaw.

    Dear Gawd!

  47. 47
    demo woman says:

    John, Loving dog owners put up signs so be on the look out.

  48. 48
    jacy says:

    OT, but this can’t be good.

    This from my breaking local news pop-up:

    BP says lightning strike and fire on ship halts containment of oil leaking from Gulf.

  49. 49
    Violet says:

    I’m loving this match. North Korea doesn’t appear to be intimidated by the Brasilians.

  50. 50
    stuckinred says:

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck: Or Jo Jo Starbark!

  51. 51
    EFroh says:

    In the Dog World, you are known as a Righteous Person, JC.

    (You do know you need to get a kitten now to balance out the cat/dog ratio, right? Would be bad Feng Shui, otherwise.:))

  52. 52
    stuckinred says:

    @Violet: Dawg, these cats are most surely in the North Korean Army, bunch Brazilian Soccer players ain’t diddly to them.

  53. 53
    jibeaux says:


    Just awful. My aunt has a dog that she acquired through the actions of “humans” that I won’t even tell you, lest you be tenderhearted like me and that story keep you up at night. But it makes people who summarily drop off puppies and kittens at the pound from their un-neutered pets look like freakin’ heroes.

  54. 54
    Lowkey says:

    @scav: This!

    Also, too, others have mentioned that she may be lowjacked, but also check for ID tattoos. Check her belly and gumlines. One of the worst days of my boyhood was when my Springer slipped his lead and collar to take off after his neighborhood arch-enemy. He came home about 5 hours later, after visiting some neighborhood friends, and then dropping by the nearby college’s girls’ dorm (there is no affection like homesick Freshwomen affection). The story had a happy ending, but if some well-meaning rescuer had seen his obvious collar line, sans collar, and assumed I had abandoned him… care not to contemplate.

  55. 55
    stuckinred says:

    See that, blood on the NK. That’s what it takes for these dudes to hit the deck, not this floppin shit the rest of these pussies pull!

  56. 56
    eemom says:

    Sadly, the world is full of people who abandon dogs or treat them horribly. It breaks my heart.

    If anyone would like to donate to a good charity dedicated to fighting this kind of abuse, go to

    I personally would love a third doggie — especially a little one — but one of the two I already have has bad aggression issues.

  57. 57
    Carnacki says:

    The only solution is for John to grow another set of legs to have two laps for all the animals to sit on. Growing additional limbs might seem extreme, but I suspect with Tunch involved it’ll be the easiest and safest.

  58. 58
    jl says:

    I did not know Jack Russell Terriers could grow so huge.

    As big as Tunch!


  59. 59
    Butch says:

    I have four big dogs, plus seven cats (all indoor because here in the mountains they’d be a deli platter if I let ’em outdoors unsupervised, and all are abandoned or strays) as well as chickens, ducks, and a pygmy goat (yes, those are outside, but fenced in, and believe it or not the goat was actually abandoned, too). You have room for one more pup if you can’t find her home, bud.

  60. 60
    elmo says:

    @General Egali Tarian Stuck:

    Too much? :-)
    ‘sokay, I ended up liking the idea of “Rooney” best.

  61. 61
    Rainy Day says:

    I think she found YOU, and I think she’s supposed to be in your life.

    I have no proof, of course, but every single wonderful thing that has happened in my life was the result of a detour.

    We tell ourselves, “I’m going from Munich to Paris,” or “I’m going from home to work,” or “I’m going to pick out new bedding,” but the magic often happens between A and B. And, if we don’t capture it and savor it and allow ourselves to embrace the detour, we miss out on …. life!

    Think back to when you were in the car and saw her on the road. You made your decision then. You didn’t keep driving. And, I’m willing to bet you were relieved that she didn’t have a collar. You connected with her before you even realized it. And, she clearly felt safe with you.

    Devour the detours! They are the markers and the memories in your life.

  62. 62
    jacy says:


    Yeah, the way we got our Bismarck was after an eight hour operation that took me and two of the older kids crawling through the mud trying to pull terrified, tick-infested, mange-ridden lab mix puppies out of a drainage culvert. And that’s not even the worst of the story.

    But Bismarck is now 7 years old, about 165 glossy black pounds, and pretty damn spoiled. Still hides under the bed sometimes when it storms, necessitating us actually picking up the bed so he can get back out when it’s “safe.”

  63. 63
    Lowkey says:

    @Carnacki: Actually, John may care to go ahead and have himself entirely cloned, perhaps multiple times. Not to increase lap/limb capacity, but because Tunch is going to murder at least one of him upon return.

  64. 64
    Martin says:

    @stuckinred: Not to mention if they don’t perform honorably, who knows what will become of their family.

    You have to assume NK is no less fucked up than East Germany was.

    But they’re playing pretty well. That wasn’t an easy header to take on that shot on goal, and they’re pretty quick. Considering they have no international experience, I’m surprised that Brazil doesn’t have 5 goals by now.

  65. 65
    EDantes says:

    Looks like Brazil has decided they really should score before the half.

    @Martin: I guess it goes without saying that they seem to play with a ping pong player’s precision and with a great deal of group think.

  66. 66
    Carrie says:

    I love you, John Cole.

  67. 67
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    While it’s impressive the way you’ve taken in castaways that no one else wants, I think you’re wise to set limits, otherwise before you know it everyone is talking about you as one of those crazy people whose entire life is taken over by the collection of strays and misfits that he’s given a home to.

    I’m referring to your blog and commenters, of course.

    Why, what did you think I meant?

  68. 68
    elmo says:


    believe it or not the goat was actually abandoned, too

    When I was first starting out with my goats, I was terrified that they would get out of the fence and go walkabout. So when our neighbors up the hill (about a quarter-mile away) called and said, “Hey, there’s a goat in our yard with a collar, is it yours?” I didn’t even bother to check my herd. I just jumped in the truck and raced up the hill to go and get my —

    oh. That’s not my goat.

    Mine were all young Nigerian Dwarf wethers and Kiko does — this was a little pygmy brush doe, older, with a frayed collar. Friendliest goat you’ve ever seen, follow you around like a puppy dog.

    So we took her in and posted signs and ads on Craigslist. Never heard a peep, and she’s now my happy alpha goat. Hawthorne.

    (I named the two males, my first goats ever, Milton and Dante.)

  69. 69

    @elmo: just kidding. Maybe Lynn, for my favorite twinkle toes wingnut Steeler, Swan. I happen to like Bradshaw, the nutty fucker.

  70. 70
    Lab Partner says:

    @Fleas correct the era: How do you Americans say? Waa waaaaa

  71. 71
    Legalize says:

    I really don’t need another dog ….

    Let’s stop right here, Cole. You have another dog. :)

  72. 72
    Alice Blue says:

    Bless you, John.

    I think Tunch and Lily are going to be sharing the futon and your lap.

  73. 73
    Mnemosyne says:

    Definitely check for a chip — I can’t imagine anyone having a dog as active as a JRT and not getting it chipped. Also post a notice with your vet and the other local vet offices — someone there might recognize her.

    You might want to try and bring her with you when you pick up Tunch so they can give her a once-over to make sure she’s healthy. I know you have to be careful introducing cats to each other because there are transmissible diseases like FIV that they can catch from each other, but I don’t know how it works with dogs.

    Lily will only be unhappy until she figures out that she can play doggy games with the new arrival. Once that happens, expect to never sleep through the night again.

  74. 74
    Mark S. says:

    I can see now how North Korea got in the World Cup. They’re pretty damn solid in defense.

  75. 75
    EDantes says:

    Look at those coats on the bench. That’s right, it’s bloody winter in SA. I totally forgot about that.

  76. 76
    waynet says:

    1-10 odds they’ll be an anniversary blog post about how she came into Cole’s life in a year. Make that 1-15.

  77. 77
    mai naem says:

    Just adopt her and name her BJ. Lie to Tunch that you will now be able to pay more attention to him now that Lily has a playmate.

  78. 78
    stuckinred says:

    @EDantes: I remember watching the Chinese basketball team in the 84 Olympics. They couldn’t shoot the rock but damn they ran their patterns!

  79. 79
    EFroh says:

    Tunch: “I’m gone for one day and you replace me already. Humans!”

  80. 80
    Xboxershorts says:

    Congratulations on the new dog. Looks like a keeper.

  81. 81
    4jkb4ia says:

    Once again, I fail cynical. Going out on the field and doing your best when everybody counted you out has to be a universal motivation. I am sure the coach told them everybody counted them out.

    (John did a good deed.) (This is not surprising since he is obviously fond of creatures.)

  82. 82
    mmv says:

    @ Martin: They bought them

  83. 83
    robertdsc says:

    Can’t wait for this new JRT to meet G & G. Cousins galore!

  84. 84
    The Moar You Know says:

    There is a place reserved in heaven for you, Mr. Cole – and I say this as an atheist.

    There is no better act than to treat our fellow creatures with care, love and dignity.

  85. 85
    Elizabelle says:

    I would suggest putting up flyers with the little JRT’s picture on it at surrounding gas stations.

    That’s how we found a pet that went scurrying while its human was out of town.

    If no luck finding owners or microchip:

    that little dog just found pet nirvana.

    I hope she doesn’t sneak mojitos.

  86. 86
    Butch says:

    @elmo: Somebody dropped off Bubba (goat) at the local feed store, and the owners knew immediately who to call. We just lost Packer (also a pygmy goat) at age 16 so now we’re looking for a friend for Bubba.

  87. 87
    JenJen says:

    Awwwwwww. If her owner isn’t found, good luck parting with her. :-)

    As far as checking to see if she’s chipped, a lot of vets have the scanner thingies and they’re happy to help. Might be a little more convenient if you don’t live near a shelter. You, of course, have already thought of all of this, so I’ll shut up now.

  88. 88
    LT says:

    Oh, man – she is yours John. She came to you. And she look like a perfect pal for Lils.

  89. 89
    BSR says:

    Another good deed for Mr. Cole. I am officially forgiving you for all the stupid crap you used to post when you were a Republican. I am however not forgiving you for all the stupid crap posted after conversion. (kidding. Love ya. :)

  90. 90
    Lysana says:


    Loki does spring to mind, Lucky Loki.

    Why do people think it’s safe to name a dog after a half-Aesir, half-fire giant who spends his days tormented by snake venom, chained to a rock, and prone to cause earthquakes when his wife has to dump the venom-catching bowl out?

  91. 91
    Violet says:

    We’re back from halftime. Let’s see if Brazil changes their tactics.

  92. 92
    TaMara (formerly Bad Horse's Filly) says:

    Well at least you’re already going to the vet to get Tunch. You can take her and have her checked for a chip and if she’s pregnant.

    But that pudgy and unflappable, I’m thinking she has a home and got away. If my dog was lost, I’d hope she’d be found by someone like you.

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m expecting hourly updates.

  93. 93
    4tehlulz says:

    OT, but GOD HATES BP

    A bolt of lightning struck the ship capturing oil from a blown-out BP well in the Gulf of Mexico on Tuesday, igniting a fire that halted containment efforts in another setback for the embattled company in its nearly two-month struggle to stop the spill, the company said.

  94. 94
    EDantes says:

    That’s the stupid shit that makes soccer annoying. Brazil got that free kick becuase their player picked up his feet intentionally to fall down. Lame. Totally lame.

  95. 95
    Ash Can says:

    Bravo, John. And I may be in the minority here, but I suspect that she does have owners who are looking for her. It seems to me that well-fed + trusting + collar marks add up to a decent life with decent owners. I’m wondering if maybe the owners took her to a friend’s house for doggie sitting, and that she was rarely away from home and felt a need to get back home pronto, leading to a slipped collar and lost doggie.

    Keep us posted, and keep checking your shoes and bed for expressions of opinion from Lily and Tunch.

  96. 96
    stuckinred says:

    If the thunder don’t get ya the lightnin will.

    Won’t you try just a little bit harder.
    Couldn’t you try just a little bit more?

  97. 97
    Ash Can says:

    @Lysana: Besides, Loki’s a boy, and this doggie’s a girl.

  98. 98
    stuckinred says:

    There’s no CRYING in futbol!

  99. 99
    Mark S. says:

    Nice shot!

  100. 100
    Phoebe says:

    That kind of happened to me in 2008. This cat followed us halfway home around midnight after a movie, then I picked him up and he let me carry him to the apt, another 6 blocks or so, without a struggle. I put up flyers with his picture everywhere. I never found his owner and the one woman who wanted to take him had to change her mind a few hours later because he was swiping at her dog’s nose. Which I was kind of happy about, since I’d started bawling as soon as I dropped him off at her apt.

    So now I have three cats. He is tolerated by the other two, but kind of snubbed. And it violates my one-pet-per-human-hand guideline, but that should be rectified sometime after July, when I get certified as a foster parent.

    Have you thought about becoming a foster parent?

  101. 101
    EDantes says:

    Hm, now Brazil will commence to play keepaway for 35 minutes.

  102. 102
    Elizabelle says:

    @Ash Can:

    very believable scenario.

    I’m thinking owners too. But if not, one lucky puppy.

  103. 103
    Allison W. says:

    I have to say you are truly a wonderful person.

  104. 104
    TuiMel says:


  105. 105
    Keith G says:

    I imagine Tunch will see the pup and Think that he is still high.

  106. 106
    stuckinred says:

    @EDantes: Keepaway by scoring.

  107. 107
    Dog is My Copilot says:

    I would bet money that she was dumped. She almost looks like she could be an older dog, but I can’t tell for sure. People tend to get rid of older dogs either because they’ve developed health issues or any number of other reasons. I volunteer with a senior dog rescue group and I’m amazed at the callousness of people who will just dump their dogs or get rid of them just because they’ve gotten old. I could never do that in a million years to our dogs – they are family members. It was so kind of you to stop and pick her up! She looks like a real sweetheart. I live in Washington state, and we already have four dogs, so I’m not a possible adopter. Keep us posted on how things go with placing her somewhere, or possibly finding her owners. My heart just goes out to these poor creatures who have been abandoned like this. You’d like to have faith in human goodness and rationalize that she is just lost, but I’ve seen the worst in how some humans treat their animal companions and it’s not a pretty picture.

  108. 108
    scav says:


    Why do people think it’s safe to name a dog after a half-Aesir, half-fire giant who spends his days tormented by snake venom, chained to a rock, and prone to cause earthquakes when his wife has to dump the venom-catching bowl out?

    A) it would liven things up?

    B) it would even things up (a bit) against Tunch.

    Granted, a lot of what I mis-remember about the Norse gods seems to involve Doug Adams.

  109. 109
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @stuckinred: Yeah, that was more exciting for a moment there.

  110. 110
    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal says:


    We are guessing that whoever was overwhelmed with vet bills

    Ain’t that the truth. I’ve handed about $8,000 to the UM Small Animal Hospital over the last 18 months to treat Eddie. He’s worth it, but it’s been hard. Fortunately, I’ve been doing really well in the markets, so I’m still right about where I was in terms of assets.

    Speaking of Eddie, he’s home. I think he’s eating, but I’m not positive. I am struggling to get his pain medication into him for the biopsy wound on his face. He won’t drink tuna juice any longer, since I made the mistake of putting an antibiotic in it last time. That upset his tummy, and I’m pretty sure he’s afraid that tuna will do that to him again. Without something to put it in, I actually tried to just squirt it into his mouth this morning. I had to try twice, because I missed his squirming mouth the first time. I think I’ve found a food that he’ll drink the water from for this evening.

    Other than that, we’re just waiting for the biopsy results to come back. I remain pessimistic about what they’re going to say, but I’m hoping that it’s just his skin and that the lymphoma isn’t in his chest. In that case, he could still be around for a while. I’m not going to put him through the ultrasound to check his chest, though. If he has lymphoma, I’ll just have as long with him as he lasts without suffering too much. If it’s short, it’s short.

  111. 111
    Americanadian says:

    @Martin: The ESPN announcers were just discussing rumours (official football spelling) that since so few North Koreans can be trusted to travel outside the DPRK, they hired a bunch of unemployed Chinese to follow the team to South Africa. Between that and the invisible mobile phone link (juchePhone?) between their coach and Kim Jong-Il the Koreans are providing an incredible amount of comedy.

    As for a Pittsburgh-oriented name for when you inevitably end up this poor pup, may I suggest Sidney?

  112. 112
    Dog is My Copilot says:

    @demo woman: I don’t know why people bother having dogs to begin with if all they are going to do is tie the dog out in the yard (especially a golden retriever). Goldens are people dogs and they love to be with their humans. They don’t do well with being tied outside. No wonder the dog was constantly escaping. Makes me sick.

  113. 113
    Dog is My Copilot says:

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal: I had a 13-year-old golden that’s been gone for about 15 years now. He had developed cancer that started out as a lump in his neck. The name of it escapes me right now. In any case, I put him through chemotheraphy and I’ve regretted it ever since. I was trying to buy some time to have a few more months with him, but instead it put him through hell. I’ll never put a dog through that again.

  114. 114
    frankdawg says:

    Normally I’d vote for “Nipsey” but since it a girl I gotta go with “Rosalind”.

    Do check for the chip but also do find a different home for her or you are going to end up like a crazy cat lady with 36 animals.

    You are so nice I find it hard to believe you really used to be a Republican :)

  115. 115
    EDantes says:

    I’m in a cruel mood I guess, I was hoping to watch the Brazilians cry for a totally different reason. In a sport one is not historically interested in, hoping for an upset is the only reason to watch.

  116. 116
    cmorenc says:

    @John Cole:

    You’ve to a >95% statistical probability got yourself a second dog John. Enjoy.

    Unless that is after a day or two if the owner can’t be found, you’re going to turn her into a shelter, where you KNOW they can’t keep her but soooo…long (as in, usually not nearly long enough) before they’re forced to…um, make room for more recently found/turned in dogs. Unless another BJ’er is willing to take the dog on.

    If I could take on a second dog, I would have done so a long time ago, but the wife absolutely, positively will not stand for it. She loves our Italian Greyhound, but is also looking forward greatly to the time when she’s lived out her life span when her absence will give the two of us much greater freedom to travel, now that we’re empty nesters (but for the dog).

  117. 117
    Morbo says:

    Wow, I’m massively restraining myself from howling with laughter at that goal while at work.

    ETA: Man it looks like he could have stopped that if he’d stuck out his arm.

  118. 118
    lawguy says:

    Ain’t it a bitch, I ended up with three that way. They all turned out to be great dogs and I found others that I managed to find homes for.

    Good luck.

  119. 119
    CynDee says:

    @4tehlulz: Yep. Take that. You’ve gone waaay beyond my original instructions, which were “be fruitful and multiply,” NOT be greedy and go miles under the sea to punch holes in the world looking for money and ruining lives. You’re on notice, bubs.

  120. 120
    stuckinred says:

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal: Hang in there. We dropped a bundle on our first cocker’s cancer and we tell ourselves we wouldn’t go the chemo-surgery, radiation route again. Nothing prepares you for the toll it takes on them but he did make it 2 1/2 years after the treatment.

  121. 121
    licensed to kill time says:

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal:

    Your posts about Eddie have been heartbreaking to read, but I can feel the intensity of your love for him shine through in every word. You are doing everything you can to help him and I think he knows that, even as he struggles against the medicine. Stay strong, and we’ll all hope for the best along with you.

  122. 122
    stuckinred says:

    @cmorenc: It’s a bitch when you reach the age that you can figure only one or two more dogs max.

  123. 123
    Phoebe says:

    Ok, this is what I was looking for. Very adorable.

  124. 124
    electricgrendel says:

    Wow. That’s a really good thing you did. Good luck placing her.

  125. 125
    Kristine says:

    My pup Gaby was a dumpee. She had medical issues that I think led to her owners giving up on her. At least they tied her to the front door of my vet’s office.

    Best little girl in the world. I hope the people who left her felt something when they let her go.

  126. 126
    stuckinred says:

    @Kristine: Isn’t that the truth. For the first 6 months Lil Bit would look and look when she heard voices down the street. I thought about taking an ad out in the paper and say LOOK, LOOK at her!

  127. 127
    That's Master of Accountancy to You, Pal says:

    @stuckinred: No chemo. They amputated his leg on the first round, and I said that, if it came back, that was it. My vet has convinced me to try a steroid therapy if the biopsy is positive. It sounds like it’s a lot less intrusive. In fact, there is a steroid they can inject once a month. It has the side effect of sometimes leading to diabetes, but I may go that route if the other is unworkable. It doesn’t cure lymphoma, but it does slow down the progression.

    Apparently, cats tolerate chemo a lot better than either humans or dogs do. It’s just that giving him a pill twice a day would mean that Eddie spends the rest of his life hiding under the bed. I’m not going to do that.

  128. 128
    The Dangerman says:

    In honor of Brazil winning, I think her name should be Cocoa.

    If NK had pulled off the upset, I’d have proposed areyoufuckingkiddingme?

  129. 129
    stuckinred says:

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal: Isn’t that interesting, Lil Bit the cocker has to have 3 eye meds in her eye’s twice a day for the rest of her life. In addition she is anemic so she gets pills every day as well. I don’t know why but she doesn’t seem to mind at all.

    Here’s a link to Pets Living With Cancer, it was a help to us.

  130. 130
    Gina says:

    Glad she’s safe now, you’re a mensch for stepping up. I’d err on the side of giving the owners the benefit of the doubt, until more info comes in. Definitely check to see if she’s chipped. My youngest dog (also a Lily) has gotten loose a few times (kids leaving the gate slightly open in the kennel, open spot under the deck stairs just large enough to squish through), luckily she just sticks right to the yard, but I’ve known other dogs that just take the hell off for the lulz and then get freaked out when they can’t figure out where they are.

    If she was intentionally dumped, given her level of trust in humans and her “curvy” figure, I’d say it may be due to really horrible circumstances for the humans – someone who couldn’t take care of her anymore but couldn’t bring themselves to drop her at a shelter. Not the best thing to do, but sometimes desperation and lack of options leads to lackluster decision making. Could be anything like a domestic violence issue, senior citizen overwhelmed (physically, financially), or a death of the owner and getting lost in the shuffle. The possibility that she was dumped for financial (veterinary or otherwise) reasons is pretty realistic, so be sure if you do decide to keep her that you get her checked out thoroughly (heartworm, pregnancy, thyroid, OH MY!)

    She’s pretty cute, and I’m not a fan of small dogs :-)

  131. 131
    Bill Section 147 says:

    @Martin: They have a prison in North Korea with their seat number on each door and a family member or loved one behind that door – just in case their bonus-filled Party membership isn’t enough. Their level of cheering and the loudness of their clap is being monitored.

    I wonder how Karl Rove can hope for a One Party system in the US and not get the connection? But as his boss once said, “I’m against dictatorship unless ‘I’m the dictator.'”

  132. 132
    Poopyman says:

    Well, you post about kittens on and this is what you get.

    Since you have to go back to the vet to get The Boss you might want to take her to see if she’s been chipped, plus maybe check to see if she’s preggers.

    Couldn’t hurt. Besides, she should probably get familiar with her new vet.

  133. 133
    eemom says:

    @The Dangerman:

    reminds me of the old joke about the young Native American boy who asks the Chief of the tribe, who is responsible for naming all the new babies, how he goes about picking the names.

    The Chief responds, “Well, my son, I take each newborn child in my arms and observe the glories of Nature all around us, and the first sight that meets my eyes becomes the child’s name. For example, if I see a deer running through the woods, the child shall be called ‘Running Deer.’ Or, if I should happen to observe one of our noble horses, I may call the child ‘Bold Stallion.’

    “But why are you so interested, Two Dogs Fucking?”

  134. 134
    CynDee says:

    John Cole is a beautiful soul.

    About NewDoggie, maybe your folks could take her. It’s probably about time to add another really nice couch or chair to their formal living room for after-bath activities.

    However, this little girl really fits the color scheme of your furniture AND your other quadripeds.

    Names: How about Violet, Rose, Iris, Sweetpea, Honey, Carmel, or . . . Duvet . . .

    The best of luck as it becomes clear what to do.

    You are so excellent, John, that you probably used to BE a dog.

    (For your Netflix queue: The Cave of the Yellow Dog.)

  135. 135
    Allan says:

    I would have pegged her as a tan rat terrier because of the smooth coat and face, as Jack Russells usually have whiskery faces. Whatever kind of terrier, she’s a doll.

  136. 136
    SIA says:

    This feels like a “meant to be” to me. My sister had a big black dog that decided to get in her car at a Denny’s in St. Joseph MO. One of the best dogs ever, and it was like he was there waiting for her. We found a little pup on a back road in Alabama, brought her home, and friends of our neighbors adopted her and named her Paxton. Some things are just meant to be.

    You were looking at earlier.(And that WAS the cutest kitten I’ve ever seen).

  137. 137
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    Has anyone suggested taking her to the vet to be scanned for a chip? She looks like someone’s pet, so I wouldn’t be surprised. In any case, you should have the vet check.

    You might also check “lost pets” at your local Craigslist and also post your pics there too.

    Good luck.

  138. 138
    slag says:

    All I Wanted Were Some New Damned Sheets

    Frustrating, isn’t it? On Friday night, all I wanted to do was get home and put my old damned sheets in the dryer when I had to step in front of a moving vehicle to stop it from running over a kitty in the street.

    Kitty was slow and not very responsive. And was looking very unkempt. Long story short, after having spotted some cats in a neighbor’s window, I ended up on a mile-long walk with the kind neighbor’s old cat carrier on my shoulder and a ziplock full of kitty kibble in my hand so that the ravenous little sweetheart inside the carrier didn’t make herself sick by devouring it all at once.

    On the upside, I learned a lot about the policies and procedures of our nearby emergency vet and local animal shelter (no-kill FTW!).

    And luckily, I had an extra set of sheets already since, when I was past ready to fall into bed that night, mine were still sopping wet.

    In summary: I feel your pain, Cole. Use your resources well. And if you’re not ready for another pet, don’t feel bad about it. I’m sure someone else will love her almost as well as you would.

  139. 139
    bey says:

    I’ll come right out and say it – I hope you don’t find her former family. Right about now it’s dawning on her that she has landed in Pet Nirvana (east). (Pet Nirvana (west) is my house)

    She will be a great addition to your little family. And you are one terrific human being.

  140. 140
    CatStaff says:

    @stuckinred: You got that right. My husband and I compensate by adopting elderlies from the shelter and other places. We’re there for them for as long as they need us, and although it always hurts to lose them (many of them after a relatively short period), it would hurt worse to have to depart this mortal coil ourselves and leave beloved younger animals behind.

  141. 141
    taylormattd says:

    Holy Christ John, you are such a great guy. An animal saint (?) of some kind. I know you are “looking” for a home for this little feller, but let’s face it. I sense Lily is going to have a sibling. :)

    Hey, just fyi – don’t know if you are back into WoW, and/or if you are, whether you have considered shipping a toon or two over to Garrosh, where we have the liberal / DKos guild (“Wreck List”), but I just *have* to let you know: we finally downed the Lich King on 10 man yesterday. :)


  142. 142
    Steller says:

    She looks like a sweetheart, and I hope you find her loving owner or decide to keep her. Just be careful introducing her to Tunch. I knew someone who raised JRTs and couldn’t keep any cats around her place because her JRTs’ chase the small furry animal down and kill it instinct was so strong. Not all JRTs are bad with cats, but just be careful and don’t leave them alone together until you’re sure she’s friendly to kitties.

  143. 143
    Anne says:

    Nthing the recommendation to check for a chip. Here’s hoping she’s just lost, not abandoned. Either way, you’re a good man, Mr. Cole. She’s a lucky dog, being found by you.

  144. 144
    CaseyL says:

    John, you are a hero among humans; but OMG I’m imagining Tunch’s reaction when he gets home. Because, see –

    First you box him up and take him to the Bad Place,
    Where they poke him and do terrible things to him while he’s helplessly unconscious,
    And then he wakes up and his mouth is all sore and he doesn’t know what happened,
    And then you bring him home

    …..Be afraid, John. Be very afraid.

    PS: I vote for Madelaine, because it’s a beautiful name and shortens nicely to “Maddie.”

  145. 145
    Comrade Mary says:

    So is Tunch home yet?


    Is Tunch home yet?


    Is Tunch home yet? And do you have pictures?


  146. 146
    Mnemosyne says:


    I knew someone who raised JRTs and couldn’t keep any cats around her place because her JRTs’ chase the small furry animal down and kill it instinct was so strong.

    Yikes! An especially good thing to keep in mind since poor Tunchie will be groggy from the anesthesia and may not be quite up to defending himself.

  147. 147
    PTirebiter says:

    Judging from my experiences with new orphans, Lily’s nose won’t stay out of joint too long and they’ll become fast friends.
    That said, I hope she wasn’t abandoned and a happy reunion isn’t far off.

  148. 148
    PTirebiter says:

    Of course if you’re a Dylan fan, you could pick up a male and have Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts.

  149. 149
    Poopyman says:

    Just to provide another data point, the JRT across the street has no interest in either our outdoor cats or the ones in her own household. She was raised that way and there have been no problems for the 5 years she’s been around.

    But as Stellar sez, they’re natural hunters, so be mindful and train, train, train as needed.

  150. 150


    New name for the little girl: Rose

    [so you would have Rose and Lily]

  151. 151
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @eemom: Hee. My version of that is that the kid asks his father how he was named.

    “Well, son, making love to your wife to create a child is a beautiful thing. And the night you were conceived I allowed my eyes to wander until I saw the object that would become the name of my beloved son.

    “Why do you ask, Broken Rubber?”

  152. 152
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Name her Lois. That way you can wander around singing “Hi Lily, hi Lily, hi Lo, hi Lo . . . . “

  153. 153
    The Egg says:

    She’s cute. I’m sure she’s somebody’s. Just a word of caution–don’t leave a Jack–no matter how adorable–around cats alone. Pretty please.

  154. 154
    Kyle says:

    I hope she wasn’t dumped.
    People who dump pets in the countryside deserve to go hunting with Dick Cheney. Or be hunted by Dick Cheney.

  155. 155
    Mino says:

    To Eddie’s owner–Sorry to hear of your difficulties in getting your pet to eat. Have you tried Gerber Baby Food Chicken? It works miracles on cats and puppies that will barely eat. Try some on your finger to see if he will lick it off.

    Hoping you get good news.

  156. 156
    Gus says:

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal: Best of luck to you and your Eddie.

  157. 157

    BP says lightning strike and fire on ship halts containment of oil leaking from Gulf.

    God’s all like “FUCK it. kill EVERYTHING.” :o

  158. 158
    handy says:

    All I Wanted Were Some New Damned Sheets

    Veiled Powder Blue Satan Reference?

  159. 159
    TrishB says:

    @stuckinred: I’m in the same boat with my schnauzer. 3 different eye meds twice a day, in addition to the twice daily insulin shots. She’s also on an antibiotic pill, at the moment for her $1000 UTI. I marvel that she’s still willing to come near me.

  160. 160
    Wildweasels says:

    All I can say is I wish I had room for this dog.

  161. 161
    snarkyspice says:

    John you are such a kind man.

    However long I live I will never understand people who dump pets. I wish I believed in God because then I’d believe there was a special place in hell for them. As it is, I just think they get away with it. And I fantasize about slapping them. Hard.

  162. 162
    caune says:

    You are a reallysweet guy and I hope you find this adorable girl a home.
    If needs be look up the jack Russel Rescue in your state, that’s where I got my current Jack, from the Arizona rescue group.
    Best of luck

  163. 163

    Oh, she’s beautiful. Cole, you are such a good man with a heart of platinum. I think she’s got a family, but if she didn’t, she does now.

    @That’s Master of Accountancy to You, Pal: Aw, poor Eddie. Sending more good vibes his (and your) way.

  164. 164
    Sasha says:

    Dogs are like Jell-O: There’s always room for more.

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