Folks like us

Do we really live in a world where bloggers can allege having had affairs with politicians and suddenly become national celebrities? Is this something we at Balloon-Juice should consider as a traffic maximization strategy? And who would be a good politician to claim I’ve had an affair with?






194 replies
  1. 1
    Scott says:

    Well, obviously, Sarah Palin. She’s America’s Sweetheart!

  2. 2
    Scuffletuffle says:

    I’m not averse to affairs personally, but I’m unable to think of a single elected official who I would be willing to admit to an affair with. My standards are low, certainly, but not that low.

    Dammit, wanted to be first…

    Dammit…whom…dammit

  3. 3
    Ash Can says:

    Mitch McConnell.

  4. 4
    handy says:

    Wait. Who? What?

  5. 5
    Kennedy says:

    Michelle Bachmann

  6. 6
    Killjoy says:

    Damn, beat to the punch by Kennedy

  7. 7
    Mike in NC says:

    ‘Mean Jean’ Schmidt?

  8. 8
    Tonybrown74 says:

    Yeah … that story has been bothering me. Not that I want to come to the defense of Family Values hypocrite, but o far, I really haven’t seen any real evidence of an affair.

    Hours of phone calls and texts sound salacious until you find out that the blogger worked for Hailey during that time (so you would expect significant contact. Now you are hearing that there are photos to follow. I almost don’t believe it.

  9. 9
    blahblahblah says:

    I vote for Mitch McConnell.

  10. 10
    Captain Goto says:

    @Mike in NC: Oh, ICK.

  11. 11
    licensed to kill time says:

    DougJ and Scott ‘Cosmo’ Brown. Guaranteed headlines, traffic stampede like a rabid elephant.

  12. 12
    Alex K says:

    The Chicken Lady!

  13. 13
    Lolis says:

    You should actually have the affair first.

  14. 14
    Anonymous At Work says:

    Didn’t you mention showering with Rahm Emanuel?

  15. 15
    fourlegsgood says:

    Sarah Palin, obviously!!

    Or how about Sue Lowden? you can spin tales about how she loved for you to wear a plushy chicken suit in the boudoir. Your clucking drove her to ecstasy!!!

    Clearly this would be traffic gold. The underpants gnomes would gnash their teefies in rage and envy.

  16. 16
    Butch says:

    Newt Gingrich. I dare you to top the “uck” in that one.

  17. 17
    fourlegsgood says:

    Feh. Alex beat me to it. But he didn’t give the salacious details, so I should get points for that.

  18. 18
    fourlegsgood says:

    @Butch: I’ll take that bet.

    Karl Rove.

  19. 19
    fourlegsgood says:

    Eric Cantor would be pretty cringe inducing as well. And funny.

  20. 20
    Bruce (formerly Steve S.) says:

    Palin, of course. To give your story cred you might want to mention the Alaska-shaped mole on her left buttock.

  21. 21
    Evan says:

    Ronald Reagan. Post June 5, 2004.

  22. 22
    Ranger 3 says:

    Mark Foley, FTW.

  23. 23
    Loneoak says:

    Antonin Scalia.

  24. 24
    Paris says:

    What about commenters? When do we get laid?

  25. 25
    Uloborus says:

    Rachel Maddow. I hear she’s running for office.

  26. 26
    C Nelson Reilly says:

    Don’t discriminate, do it with Rand Paul.

  27. 27
    Xenos says:

    @Bruce (formerly Steve S.):

    Palin, of course. To give your story cred you might want to mention the Alaska-shaped mole on her left buttock

    Or you could declare that you know her ‘distinguishing characteristic’, such as the fact the she is, you know, female.

  28. 28
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    Elana Kagen. It would probably help her with some of the media types.

  29. 29
    bmcchgo says:

    You could be Elana Kagen’s beard? Dangit, Belafon beat me to it!

  30. 30
    fourlegsgood says:

    @Ranger 3: No, it needs to be a current candidate or a serving politician.

  31. 31
    frankdawg says:

    Carly Fiorina while you wear a sheep suit

  32. 32
    Zam says:

    Robert Byrd

  33. 33
    GregB says:

    John Dingell

  34. 34
    fucen tarmal says:

    sarah palin’s husband would be better.

    or john boehner, you just have to bath in a hot tub full of cheetoes before your tearful presser. that sort of visual makes things credible.

    michelle bachmann would be a fun choice, you can make up any kind of kinky sex stuff and it would be believable, the only thing that wouldn’t is that she likes it anvil-missionary.

  35. 35
    frankdawg says:

    How about a manage-o-3 with the Maine team, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins?

  36. 36
    Mike Kay says:

    I banged Hillary!

  37. 37
    celticdragonchick says:

    Sam Brownback or Rick Perry.

  38. 38
    Corner Stone says:

    NANCY SMASH!

  39. 39
    liberty60 says:

    Didn’t one of you confront Eric Massa in the shower?

  40. 40
    celticdragonchick says:

    @fucen tarmal:

    LMAO!

  41. 41
    frankdawg says:

    @Zam:

    Bob Byrd, St Ronnie post 2004 – same diff

  42. 42
    calling all toasters says:

    Gillibrand. Because you deserve the best.

  43. 43
    QuaintIrene says:

    And since we should have one from the Libertarian side, Jesse Ventura.

  44. 44
    Corner Stone says:

    @Corner Stone: No, seriously. I have quite the thing for her.

  45. 45
    Steve says:

    I had what I thought was a good suggestion, but Larry Sinclair got there first.

  46. 46
    frankdawg says:

    @celticdragonchick:

    Bareback with Brownback?

  47. 47
    Joseph Nobles says:

    It can’t be too big a name, because people will think it’s too good to be true. But it has to be plausible.

    So my vote is Patrick McHenry from North Carolina’s 10th District. He just screams “What happens at Webelos camp stays at Webelos camp” to me.

  48. 48
    Punchy says:

    Pam Geller. At least you’d get some boobies out of it.

  49. 49
    fucen tarmal says:

    scott brown’s wife with the curious hand, or mrs. brown’s lovely daughters, to put a musical twist on things.

  50. 50
    wrb says:

    Boehner with a bag over his head

  51. 51
    Morzer says:

    Lindsay Graham. Claim you and Charlie Crist had a threesome and the teabaggers will explode in an orgy of gratified suspicion.

  52. 52
    Michael says:

    @Kennedy:

    Michelle Bachmann

    Yup. Everybody knows that sex with crazy women is teh awesome. Its just the aftereffects and stalking afterward that sucks. You’d generate some degree of envy for the maximization of getting the freak on, with the pity that comes from the knowledge that you can never have a beloved pet live with you, ever.

  53. 53
    Mike Kay says:

    I loofahed the Bush twins in the oval office, if ya know what i mean.

  54. 54
    zmulls says:

    Joe Sestak. Obviously. That will create an irresistable Mobius strip of a story.

  55. 55
    Michael D. says:

    I would like to see DougJ do the nasty with Kay Bailey Hutchison.

    No. Wait. I would like to select Kay Bailey Hutchison as Doug’s “affair” but I would NEVER want to hear or see anything about it.

  56. 56
    Alex K says:

    Ted Kaufman, if you’re into the whole necrophilia thing.

  57. 57
    artem1s says:

    @Butch:

    Cheney. but that’s necrophilia, innit it?

  58. 58
    celticdragonchick says:

    @liberty60:

    Raum touched me in the shower. I felt a tingle go up my leg!

  59. 59
    Froley says:

    Traficant. It’s always been Traficant.

  60. 60
    celticdragonchick says:

    @Punchy:

    Yeah, but I suspect she dines on her mates afterwards.

  61. 61
    Corner Stone says:

    @zmulls:

    Joe Sestak. Obviously. That will create an irresistable Mobius strip of a story.

    Quick! Have a reporter ask Sestak if he was offered sex with DougJ in return for him not snuff filming him and Specter.

  62. 62
    fucen tarmal says:

    you could also flatter boehner by saying it was exactly like jerking off a can of beefaroni.

  63. 63
    Mike Kay says:

    Liz cheney begged me to tie her up and to “waterboard” her (wink, wink).

  64. 64
    Corner Stone says:

    @Froley: Is it just me or does Coburn look a hell of a lot like Traficant?

  65. 65
    Josie says:

    Rick Perry

  66. 66
    celticdragonchick says:

    @fucen tarmal:

    I did not need that mental image.

    *gag*

  67. 67
    celticdragonchick says:

    @Mike Kay:

    Heh!

  68. 68
    liberty60 says:

    Wait, I change my vote to Rep. Virginia Foxx…produce a string of emails in which you refer to her as “Representative Foxxxy”, or how she was a Foxx in the Rooster house” or something.

    Ok, now I need a shower.

  69. 69
    Leonard Stiltskin says:

    @Tonybrown74:

    Folks was a consultant to Haley for two years and was paid less than $5000, yet phone records show 34 hours of phone calls, many of them after midnight, including one for hours until 5 am.

    Several witnesses are on record as seeing Haley’s Cadillac parked for months at Folks’ townhouse during the time in question.

    What exactly are you bothered by? The stupidity of thinking that Haley paid $5000 for 100s of hours of “political consulting”?

  70. 70
    Kevin Phillips Bong says:

    I hear Virginia Fox gives good dome. I’d hit it.

  71. 71
    fucen tarmal says:

    in order to make real money, you have to film the exploits, and in today’s porn market, title is everything….

    colon pow! with colin powell! or how i learned to stop worrying and retired the general.

  72. 72
    Mike Kay says:

    O.T.

    Palin erects 20 foot Berlin Wall

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-50.....03544.html

    Fucking crazy.

  73. 73
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Well, Elena Kagan, of course.

  74. 74
    Butch says:

    @artem1s: @fourlegsgood: I gotta concede to you both. I guess I owe you a beer.

  75. 75
    frankdawg says:

    @fucen tarmal:

    in order to make real money, you have to film the exploits, and in today’s porn market, title is everything….

    colon pow! with colin powell! or how i learned to stop worrying and retired the general.

    We have a new leader there!
    On the other hand, that title makes it sound like you have spent waaaaaayyy too much time thinking about it!

  76. 76
    Alex S. says:

    Hmm, the good ones are already mentioned….

    …Jim Inhofe?

  77. 77
    Comrade Dread says:

    Liz Cheney, but I’m not sure people would believe you since it’s well known that the Cheneys eat their mates after the act is completed.

  78. 78
    Steve says:

    @Leonard Stiltskin:

    Several witnesses are on record as seeing Haley’s Cadillac parked for months at Folks’ townhouse during the time in question.

    I think “on record” means something different to me than it does to you.

  79. 79
    Urza says:

    I’m late to the thread, but I vote you say you had an orgy with Obama. Anything to get this stupid Sestak stuff off the air. How many millions could they waste on that investigation when its standard business in Washington.

  80. 80
    oliver's Neck says:

    Strom Thurmond!!

  81. 81
    Mako says:

    Threesome back in the day. Me, Henry Kissinger and a quaalude-rattled barely-legal Tricia Nixon.

  82. 82
    Todd says:

    Jane Hamsher

  83. 83
    Trinity says:

    This thread is so full of win. You Juicers have made my boring afternoon teh lulz!

  84. 84
    Zifnab says:

    @Mako: Tricia was pretty hot in her day. I’d do her.

    But I was thinking something more along the line of a C-Street Orgy with David Vitter as power bottom.

  85. 85
    canuckistani says:

    Bristol Palin. We *know* the abstinence is all talk.

  86. 86
    Morzer says:

    @Todd: @Todd:

    Only if you make clear that Grover Norquist supplied the crack and participated in a five day binge of drug-fuelled heathen perversity in a king-size bathtub filled with champagne and the corpse of the Bush administration.

  87. 87
    PeakVT says:

    And who would be a good politician to claim I’ve had an affair with?

    Good for what: the country, or you? For the former, I’d say Inhofe.

  88. 88
    ruemara says:

    This is the most gorge inducing thread on Balloon Juice ever.

  89. 89
    Emma says:

    Y’all want to make me lose my delicious cream of broccoli soup, right? Straight into the monitor, right?

    Ick, Ick, Ick.

  90. 90
    licensed to kill time says:

    Has anybody mentioned DougJ and Hillary? In the Oval Office if possible, and if Doug could wear a blue dress it would be teh awesome. Leave the cigar, take the dress.

  91. 91
    Rafterman says:

    Add my vote for Bachmann.

  92. 92
    slag says:

    Being a liberal, I don’t really care who you sleep with. Just please be sure to use protection. We don’t need any more accidents.

  93. 93
  94. 94
    Morzer says:

    @Emma:

    Please. I don’t mind discussing Grover Norquist, DougJ, Jane Hamsher and Andrew Sullivan’s beagles locked in erotic congress, but there must be some limits.

  95. 95
    Mike Kay says:

    @Todd: nah, I did her, she’s a cold fish in bed.

  96. 96
    Bill Murray says:

    Ilona Staller — that is a capital eye followed by an “el”.

    “In 1991, Staller was among the founders of the political movement Partito dell’Amore (Love Party), spearheaded by her friend and fellow porn star Moana Pozzi. She has advocated absolute sexual freedom – “Love for All!”

    She renewed her offer to have sex with Saddam Hussein in October 2002, when Iraq was resisting international pressure to allow inspections for weapons of mass destruction, and in April 2006 made the same offer to Osama bin Laden. To this day, none of the above have accepted her offer.”

  97. 97
    ruemara says:

    @Bill Murray:

    She renewed her offer to have sex with Saddam Hussein in October 2002, when Iraq was resisting international pressure to allow inspections for weapons of mass destruction, and in April 2006 made the same offer to Osama bin Laden. To this day, none of the above have accepted her offer for health reasons“.

    Fixed

  98. 98
    LGRooney says:

    @Morzer: And Grover had to lick off some of the crack to show you how much you would lose if Uncle Sam got into the legalization biz. It was a discussion into the abusiveness of our drug wars, really! I paid him for his… er, he paid me for… er, no money exchanged hands. Wouldn’t want Uncle Sam swooping in to lick off some of that.

  99. 99
    Zifnab says:

    @PeakVT: You think he’d stop getting ridden around by the oil industry so much if someone just said his safe word?

  100. 100
    eric says:

    teh good: Mrs. Kucinich

    teh bad: Ms. bachmann

    teh ugly: Liz Cheney, so i can make off-color political commentary about how she made more sense while [fill in the blank]

    eric

  101. 101
  102. 102
    Shawn in ShowMe says:

    Michael Steele pushed up on my woman but then he walked it back.

  103. 103
    Zifnab says:

    @Emma: Wait, cream of brocolli? Are you throwing up or just really enjoying yourself?

  104. 104
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    Larry Craig.

    Best choice to torpedo any denial, since as far as he knows it might be true. Not having seen any faces, that is.

    Come to think of it, though, we don’t see yours either. The Internet is a lot like an airport bathroom when you think about it, except the tapping is on keyboards.

  105. 105
    Sheila says:

    Robert Byrd. Then you could claim it without actually having to do it.

  106. 106
    Corner Stone says:

    @Bill Murray: I just love it that the word “spearheaded” appears in this comment.

  107. 107
    eric says:

    @anticontrarian: you know he wont let you cum north of the border

  108. 108
    LGRooney says:

    @Bill Murray: But, per the CIA, Saddam and Osama are teh gey and it was their conjugal bid to force gay marriage rights into the Shariah that meant we had to invade! Poor Ilona would have been so bored as they would have had no time for her.

  109. 109
    Martin says:

    I can’t believe nobody has said John McCain.

  110. 110
    Dinah says:

    Ann Coulter, please Ann Coulter! She’s not a politician, but I guarantee an affair with her is a traffic maximization strategy. Especially if you give us the details.

  111. 111
    Comrade Sock Puppet of the Great Satan says:

    Another for Bachmann. Something about those houndstooth jackets does it for me.

    But I’d have a lawyer standing by to serve the restraining order afterwards. ‘Cos the crazy is too much.

    Nobody mentioned Vitter yet? Even if you made him buy his own Depends?

  112. 112
    LGRooney says:

    Do us some good down here in Virginia and make it Cuccinelli. Coochie- coochie-coo, indeed!

  113. 113
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @Martin: I think because everybody’s trying to come up with a “good news” joke for it.

  114. 114
    LGRooney says:

    @Dinah: Problem is that Lady Gaga has already shown us that woman with penis doesn’t sell that well.

  115. 115
    Bobby Thomson says:

    Just make sure it’s a woman. Men can’t help bragging afterwards. That was Nikki Haley’s (alleged) mistake.

  116. 116
    Persia says:

    Aim high: Michelle Obama. Talk about how she called you ‘whitey’ in bed.

  117. 117

    Arlen Specter and I have been making sweet sweet love since i was 17.

  118. 118
    Tom Hilton says:

    Holy Joe Lieberman, of course.

  119. 119
    LikeableInMyOwnWay says:

    Is this something we at Balloon-Juice should consider as a traffic maximization strategy?

    Yes. We want to see you slipping into a hotel with Michelle Bachmann. I promise you more page views if you do this.

    Also, too, I will take back every shitty thing I have said to you in the last five years. I swear.

  120. 120
    TR says:

    Pat Toomey

  121. 121

    @frankdawg:

    Bareback with Brownback?

    Ick! Santorum everywhere. Burn the sheets when you’re done.

  122. 122
    4tehlulz says:

    Threeway with Vladamir Putin and Sarah Palin.

    At least Vlad is hot.

  123. 123
    Shawn in ShowMe says:

    @brendancalling

    Did he show you his magic bullet?

  124. 124
    Michael says:

    The elephant in the room that everybody is afraid to mention:

    Married right wing chicks out on the prowl for men really do know how to get their freak on – its like they’re frenzied or something. If I was still into that sort of thing, I could run in those circles and get laid constantly by really depraved yet physically, um, talented and appreciative (even if batshit crazy) women just by going to wingnut events. I’m serious.

    If you really want to get laid, go to a wingnut conference or event and pick off 35-45 year olds who have traveled without their husbands. I’ve suspected that their husbands, being wingnuts themselves, tend to be completely selfish assholes in all facets of life.

  125. 125

    rough anal with Mary Landrieu in bondage gear (while she straps it on for Ben Nelson)

  126. 126
    Morbo says:

    Margaret Thatcher. Let’s not be jingoistic here.

  127. 127
    Corner Stone says:

    @brendancalling: God damn.

  128. 128
    libarbarian says:

    @Dina

    I agree.

    Personally, I’ll bet that she likes to be spit on and called a “dirty liberal whore” before getting facialed.

  129. 129
    williamc says:

    It would have to be a Dem so that people think, “why would he kneecap one of his own like that if it weren’t true?”

    I’m going to stake my claim to Jack Conway, Dem Senate nominee in Kentucky; he’s attractive, well-spoken, and hates Rand Paul like you do (means you have stuff in common), plus the media would run with it because it puts crazy-ass back in the game (Rand might be insane, but he’s not queer!), and you know how they love a good horserace/dogfight…

  130. 130
    Corner Stone says:

    @Morbo: Are you saying that Imelda Marcos is now in the arena?

  131. 131
    LikeableInMyOwnWay says:

    If you really want to get laid, go to a wingnut conference or event and pick off 35-45 year olds who have traveled without their husbands.

    What a chickenshit. Pick ’em off right in front of their husbands, if you have a hair on your ass.

  132. 132
    Corner Stone says:

    @libarbarian: Good God.

    Where the fuck am I?

  133. 133
    Corner Stone says:

    @Michael:

    Married right wing chicks out on the prowl for men really do know how to get their freak on – its like they’re frenzied or something. If I was still into that sort of thing

    Sooo…what’s the date on your death certificate then?

  134. 134
    LikeableInMyOwnWay says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Where the fuck am I?

    At the bottom, compadre. At the bottom.

  135. 135
    Martin says:

    @Sentient Puddle: I think Dougj should recount the escapades across McCain’s numerous homes, which walnuts always found exciting as he often felt he was seeing many of them for the first time.

  136. 136
    Corner Stone says:

    @Persia:

    Aim high: Michelle Obama. Talk about how she called you ‘whitey’ in bed.

    Oh, I can guarantee you there would absolutely be a “I hate whitey” tape after that episode.

  137. 137

    @libarbarian:
    time for the classic on sex with Coulter.

    Adding bukkake party with Diane Feinstein, David Vitter dressed in a giant diaper, Mark Foley coated in rancid Crisco and an electric eel.

  138. 138
    Mark S. says:

    How desperate do you have to be to have an affair with this guy? Were there no ex-cons available?

    Sarah Palin (who has endorsed Haley) weighs in:

    Well, whaddya know?

  139. 139
    Corner Stone says:

    @LikeableInMyOwnWay:

    At the bottom, compadre. At the bottom.

    Win the Bottom?

    /hat tip srv in another thread

  140. 140
    Corner Stone says:

    Honestly, as was mentioned earlier, you need a really good title to sell.
    That’s why, IMO, the only answer here is:
    The Ladies of Maine

  141. 141
    Punchy says:

    Ann Curry from NBC news?

  142. 142
  143. 143
    jibeaux says:

    @Corner Stone:

    That’s so winny, it ought to be in the House at Pooh Corner.

  144. 144
    Alain says:

    134 posts and no one stumbles onto the obvious choice:

    Massa

    I mean you already have a “history” with him, and lord knows, he likes snorkeling and ticklefights, so he’s easy prey…..

  145. 145
    ruemara says:

    May I interrupt this repulsive line of thread with some techno geek news re: BP Volcano?
    http://www.hydro-international....._Test.html

  146. 146
    jibeaux says:

    I’m going to vote for Scott Brown, in the bed of a pickup truck, with a candlestick.

  147. 147
    wmd says:

    Janet Reno.

  148. 148
    Emma says:

    Zifnab: You know, I knew, the moment the “edit” button went away, someone would mention that….. The minds around here…. LOL

  149. 149
    Michael says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Sooo…what’s the date on your death certificate then?

    Oh, I wouldn’t turn down an escapade. I meant if I was still into wingnut political events.

  150. 150

    @jibeaux:

    I’m going to vote for Scott Brown, in the bed of a pickup truck, with a candlestick.

    Is the candlestick being used for illumination? Or for other purposes?

  151. 151
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    How about Lindsey Graham?

  152. 152
    JohnR says:

    116 to get Holy Joe? How disappointing – he was my first thought; the mental image of Droopy being brutalized (and loving it) made my day in a sort of perverse and horible way.

  153. 153
    libarbarian says:

    @brendancalling

    I hadn’t seen that before. Lol.

  154. 154
    daverave says:

    sandwiched between Bachmann and Pelosi, trying to get to each other, if you know what I mean.

  155. 155
    sukabi says:

    Maximum Impact — a four-banger with Inhofe, Coburn and Lieberman… just because they complain about a lack of bipartisanship.

  156. 156
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @Morzer:

    Damn, I should have searched for “Lindsay” before I posted. That’ll teach me to spell correctly.

  157. 157
    robertdsc says:

    Teh Gillibrand iz no fair! Leeaaavvvvvvve herrrr alooooooone! /cry

    I vote for Blanche Lincoln with a side of Laura Bush, non-drugged edition.

  158. 158
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    Denny Hastert

  159. 159
    Tonal Crow says:

    I vote for “carrying luggage” for George Rekers, while abusing him by reciting poems of your pining love for Jane Hamsher.

  160. 160
    scav says:

    Benedictus XVI, Episcopus Romae a.k.a. Joseph Alois Ratzinger. This is BJ: we can multi-task.

  161. 161
  162. 162
    Tonal Crow says:

    @scav: You’ve gotta love the name “Ratzinger”.

  163. 163
    sukabi says:

    @robertdsc: now you’re just talkin’ crazy… there is no “non-drugged” version of Laura Bush.

  164. 164
    Califlander says:

    Rick Santorum.

    What? Too obvious?

  165. 165
    scav says:

    @Patriot 3: oh noez, incidents overload and scandal miscegenation! I’m now watching the world being taken out by the Haley-BoP and the plunging Nikki marketz!
    @Tonal Crow: indeed. :)

  166. 166
    Tonal Crow says:

    @Califlander: That requires at least one dog.

  167. 167
    QuaintIrene says:

    In other romantic news…

    Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is set to marry his longtime girlfriend, Kathryn Rogers, next week in an intimate ceremony at his beachfront home in Palm Beach, Fla.

    Has she thought about interviewing any of the three previoius Mrs. Limbaughs?

  168. 168
    Patriot 3 says:

    @QuaintIrene: That’s wei@QuaintIrene: rd. I did not know that he liked women.

  169. 169
    DMG says:

    Did anyone say Massa yet?

  170. 170
    jibeaux says:

    @Wile E. Quixote:

    I’ve got enough faith in DougJ not to script the whole thing for him. I’m sure he’ll find good use(s). Afterwards, maybe he can reward himself with Miss Scarlet, in the parlor, with the rope. Although I understand the original model for Miss Scarlet in the board game is James Lipton’s wife, so might want to be careful there.

  171. 171
    jibeaux says:

    @QuaintIrene:

    Not to mention the other concurrent girlfriends and underaged prostitutes….

  172. 172
    jibeaux says:

    @Tonal Crow:

    It also could result in santorum. For those unaware of the internet tradition this is referring to, I recommend not googling Dan Savage’s definition if you have already had lunch.

  173. 173
    YellowJournalism says:

    Kim Jong-Il

    I bet he’d call you “Mr. Clinton” in the throes of passion.

  174. 174
    Corner Stone says:

    @sukabi:

    there is no “non-drugged” version of Laura Bush.

    And if there were, why would anyone want anything to do with her?

  175. 175
    sacman701 says:

    Euro 3-way with Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy.

  176. 176
    Corner Stone says:

    @jibeaux:

    That’s so winny, it ought to be in the House at Pooh Corner.

    I’ve been shamelessly giggling about this for a while now. For more than one reason.
    Which I will not go into here. At least until the WH releases their report on it first.

  177. 177
    Short Bus Bully says:

    Barbara Boxer weekend rendevous pleez. With the high rez pics.

  178. 178
    Fenster says:

    You all can have Chicken Lady (Lowden) and Bible Spice (Palin).

    Elizabeth Kucinich and Krystal Ball. I’d love to be the dark meat in that sandwich.

  179. 179
    YellowJournalism says:

    OT but Gary Coleman has died. Poor, messed-up guy.

  180. 180
    Quicksand says:

    Gov. Jan Brewer.

  181. 181
    RedKitten says:

    Jesus Christ, I really should not have read this thread after eating lunch. I’m just picturing WAY too many unappealing people naked right now.

  182. 182
    sukabi says:

    @QuaintIrene: whatever happened to Darryl Kagan, the CNN hostess that he was diddling a while back… she seems to have disappeared.

  183. 183
    Corner Stone says:

    @RedKitten: I’m naked right now.

  184. 184
    Randy P says:

    Somebody somewhere is getting a journal paper out of this thread. “Sexual pathologies in the modern liberal”, something like that.

  185. 185
    poledancer says:

    3 options…

    1) Watching Coulter burying the wood in Cantor’s ass and listening to him scream with pleasure…

    2) banging Michelle Malkin while wearing a Fidel Castro mask…

    or 3) Bachman, Palin, a roll of duct tape a carry on bag full of meth and disposable cameras.

  186. 186
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I’m naked right now.

    Is this you?.

  187. 187
    Patriot 3 says:

    @brendancalling: for the best Ann Coulter article ever… “Soon she sat on my couch naked, gently pulling at her untrimmed pubic hair…” which for lack of bleach did not match the drapes…

  188. 188
    Ash Can says:

    This thread has been up for just two hours, and it’s attracted over 180 little pieces of sheer depravity. ::sigh:: I love this community. ::wipes tear::

  189. 189
    Corner Stone says:

    @J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford: That fucking bitch! She promised to delete that!
    She promised!!

  190. 190

    FFS, it’s /b/alloon juice!

  191. 191
    Corner Stone says:

    @poledancer:

    banging Michelle Malkin while wearing a Fidel Castro mask

    Chang Kai-shek mask.

  192. 192
    Patriot 3 says:

    @sacman701: and whatever you do, don’t forget to (a) substitute Nick’s super hot wife for Nick, and (b) massage Angela’s shoulders…to most her reaction may say ‘no’ but she really means ‘yes’ unless you’re W. and then it means ‘get the f**k away from me, asshole!’

  193. 193
    RedKitten says:

    @Corner Stone: Well, I usually assume that three-quarters of the commenters here are sans pants. But I certainly don’t need to imagine politicians that way.

  194. 194
    Fred Fnord says:

    Gary Coleman!

    (What? Too soon?)

    -fred

Comments are closed.