Limbaughcalypse Now

This isn’t so noteworthy, but I like wingnut endtimes talk in all of its many forms:

You know, a couple of days after the health care bill had been signed into law Obama ran around all over the country saying, “Hey, you know, I’m looking around. The earth hadn’t opened up. There’s no Armageddon out there. The birds are still chirping.” I think the earth has opened up. God may have replied. This volcano in Iceland has grounded more airplanes — airspace has more affected — than even after 9/11 because of this plume, because of this ash cloud over Northern and Western Europe. At the Paris airport they’re telling people to head to the train station to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,” basically a week from now. It’s got everybody in a shutdown. Earth has opened up. I don’t know whether it’s a rebirth or Armageddon. Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

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91 replies
  1. 1
    mellowjohn says:

    pass the oxycontin, please.

  2. 2
    Elisabeth says:

    So Iceland and Europe are paying for our “sins?” Must be because we’re turning into sochulists just like them.

  3. 3
    Tara the antisocial social worker says:

    Sorta like when God sent hurricanes to Florida in order to punish Massachusetts for gay marriage?

  4. 4
    licensed to kill time says:

    God farted in Limbaugh’s general direction.

  5. 5
    Mike in NC says:

    Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

    Just as “patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel”, so is religion the last refuge of the bombastic wingnut.

  6. 6
    patrick says:

    Like Limbaugh actually believes in God.

  7. 7
    demo woman says:

    A year from now when some earth shattering event occurs, Rush will be repeating the same crap. Wouldn’t it be justice if Rush developed Alzheimer. If that were to happen, I might even listen to a few of his shows.

  8. 8
    trollhattan says:

    Losing Acquiring my religion.

    –Rushbo

  9. 9
    RSA says:

    Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

    Why can’t God speak in plain English, just like Jesus did?

  10. 10
    cleek says:

    it must get tiring, trying to find a way to make everything about US partisan politics. i’m amazed Limbaugh’s little brain has held out this long.

  11. 11
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,”head to the train station to catch trains out of France, and when people get to the train station they’re telling people, “There aren’t any seats until at least April 22nd,”

    Hell that sounds pretty much like normal to me.

  12. 12

    And the Earth didn’t need little blue pills to get that massive eruption.

  13. 13
    The Moar You Know says:

    Earth has opened up. I don’t know whether it’s a rebirth or Armageddon. Hopefully it’s a rebirth, God speaking.

    God speaking would involve the Earth opening up directly beneath Limbaugh’s feet, and him falling back into the Hell that spawned him in the first place. Until that happens, I’m withholding both belief and praise.

    You want worship, God? Show me what you got, big guy. Give us some lava-basted Limbaugh and I’ll be in church tomorrow morning, guaranteed.

  14. 14
    dmsilev says:

    Does Limbaugh think that God has bad aim (“drat, missed by a few thousand miles”) or that He smote Europe as a warning to us?

    I suppose the question really could be shortened to ‘Does Limbaugh think?’.

    dms

  15. 15
    Menzies says:

    @dmsilev:

    I think he’s going for an analogically wrathful God. That is, “These Americans are turning into sochulists just like Europeans! Here, let me show them what I do to sochulists!”

  16. 16
    Svensker says:

    @dmsilev:

    hahaha

  17. 17
    Danton says:

    Maybe the volcanic ash is God’s punishment for the GOP’s opposition to financial reform.

  18. 18
    Belafon (formerly anonevent) says:

    You would think Limpbaugh would like for us to keep creating laws to punish Europe.

  19. 19
    Montysano says:

    Oxycontin is a psychedelic? Who knew?

  20. 20
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    Just Rush continuing to be obsessed with ash holes.

  21. 21
    Ella in NM says:

    @cleek:

    it must get tiring, trying to find a way to make everything about US partisan politics.

    Yeah. Everything that can, be MUST be interpreted as “Six Degrees of Separation from Barack Hussein Obama”.

  22. 22
    Svensker says:

    You guys are just killing me.

  23. 23
    ZippyD says:

    Sorry Rush. I talked to God and he said you’re full of shit. It’s just a fuckin’ volcano. Try again Tubbo.

  24. 24
    beltane says:

    There is a new Pew study out which shows that only about half of millenials believe in God. With the loudest proponents of organized religion being perverts, hypocrites, terrorists and all-around nasty people, this should come as no surprise. If there really was an all-powerful God, he would not allow himself to be co opted by the dregs of society like this.

  25. 25
    licensed to kill time says:

    @Ella in NM:

    Yeah. Everything that can, be MUST be interpreted as “Six Degrees of Separation from Barack Hussein Obama”.

    Which is only a sequel to “Six Degrees of Separation from Bill and Hillary”. He has his schtick, and he’s schtickin’ to it. It pays off well for him.

  26. 26
    dmsilev says:

    Re: the title, I could *totally* see Limbaugh as Colonel Kurtz. The horror….The horror….

    dms

  27. 27
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @dmsilev: After the war, in the late 1950s there was a documentary about Wernher Von Braun called “I aim at the stars”, and Mort Sahl quipped famously that it should be subtitled “But sometimes I hit London”

  28. 28
    Dave C says:

    Ugh. This is pure pandering. It’s completely obvious from how bizarre and awkwardly phrased Rush’s comments are that he doesn’t mean a word of this–he’s being completely disingenuous. Rush may be a lot of things, but devout is not one of them.

  29. 29
    Roger Moore says:

    Why should anyone listen to what Rush says? He still hasn’t followed through on his promise to move to that well known capitalist paradise, Costa Rica, to escape soci@list health care reform.

  30. 30

    All ur nachurul disasders r belong to us!

    /teabagger

  31. 31
    LuciaMia says:

    Well, heck. Rush does need a change of subject. He can’t keep claiming those W Virginian miners had it coming cause, “Why were these miners continuing to work in what apparently was an unsafe atmosphere?”

    Geez, try to feed their families, maybe? And the owners threatened to shut down the mine if the brought in a union?

    Ya know, this particular rant of Limbaugh’s, is especially craven, inhumane, vicious and revealing on how big a corporate toady he is. And puzzling as to why it hasn’t finally triggered the earth’s crust to open and swallow him up. Hopefully not near any volcanoes in case he might get spewed up again.

  32. 32
    tc125231 says:

    If God was speaking, Rush and a lot of other opportunistic arse wipes would have been simultaneously struck down.

    But they haven’t been, because –surprise –that’s not how God does things.

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Brick Oven Bill says:

    Barry teaches his congregation, those fellows with their hands over their heads forming an ‘O’:

    “…we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth.”

    We recognize that religion is Belief in the absence of Perception. And note that unemployment has spiked, the oceans are still there, a mega-asteroid just about wiped out the Midwest, you can no longer fly over the Atlantic due to volcanoes, Ahmedinejad is publically laughing at the President of the United States, and now even the Mexicans are leaving.

    The difference between Limbaugh and Obama is that Limbaugh was joking.

  35. 35
    El Cid says:

    So is the Trinity composed of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ronald Reagan?

  36. 36
    Brick Oven Bill says:

    Oh and I missed one.

    We are still fighting in Iraq and have escalated Afghanistan.

  37. 37
    Comrade Kevin says:

    @Bill E Pilgrim:

    “Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down
    That’s not my department,” says Wernher von Braun

    – Tom Lehrer

  38. 38
    Bnut says:

    Not sure being trapped in Paris for a few extra days is so bad. Send them to heaven before you send them to hell, I suppose.

  39. 39
    WereBear says:

    I somehow can’t see the Dittoheads dancing in the hallways over an Icelandic volcano erupting because we have health care.

    Rush seems to be straining with this one. He might get a rupture.

  40. 40
    bemused says:

    Rush & the rest have to escalate the nuttiness in their rants more & more each day to keep their listeners distracted from looking at what the R party is really doing.
    Rush sounds like Pat Robertson with this godly punishment crap. It smells like desperation.

  41. 41
    LuciaMia says:

    The difference between Limbaugh and Obama is that Limbaugh was joking.

    Just ‘joking?’ That’s always the coward’s excuse.

    Another difference ‘tween O and L? Limbaugh couldn’t get elected to street sweeper.

  42. 42
    Brick Oven Bill says:

    Obama is, in fact, Godlike.

    Neither has a birth certificate.

  43. 43
    licensed to kill time says:

    __

    We recognize that religion is Belief in the absence of Perception.

    And we recognize that BOB, with his Infinite Abscence of Perception, is apparently deeply religious.

  44. 44
    gbear says:

    The volcano is god’s punishment for soccer.

    That quote is more fun to read if you hear it in Keith O’s slobbering, drooling Rush imitation voice. I can’t take Keith’s whole show, but his imitations of Rush, Bill O’R, and Beck can be pretty funny.

    Is everyone celebrating Record Store Day!? I did.

  45. 45
    Yutsano says:

    @Brick Oven Bill: Umm, wrong. Got news for you BoB: I was born in that evil foreign place called Hawai’i too, and I can’t get my birth certificate from them either. I got a Certification of Live Birth from the state Department of Health. Amazingly enough I got a passport with it too. Best part is COLBs are cheap. When my mom ordered mine (she got them for all four of her kids, can’t remember why now) it was two dollars. Oh yeah, it looks exactly like Obama’s. So stuff your birther nonsense where the sun don’t shine.

  46. 46
    tc125231 says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    The difference between Limbaugh and Obama is that Limbaugh was joking.

    Yeah, right. The diffierence between you and Limbaugh is that not even the mentally defective have the slightest interest in listening to you.

  47. 47
    gnomedad says:

    The storm troopers haven’t come for Grandma, but there’s a volcano in Iceland. Close enough.

  48. 48
    New Yorker says:

    @mellowjohn:

    I think he’s onto harder stuff now. William S. Burroughs wouldn’t be able to make heads or tails of this gibberish.

    Also, does this mean that Mt. St. Helens’ 1980 blast was a warning from God not to elect Ronald Reagan?

  49. 49
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @Bnut: The airport closures in Paris coincided with a major commuter and regional train strike that’s in its tenth day.

    “The giant mess” the morning paper’s headline read today.

    There was a cute cartoon in the paper just before Christmas, when there had also been train and metro strikes, plus then the Eurostar to/from London broke down from the extreme cold and stranded people on both sides for days, and then just as the metro strike was ending there was a big accident which closed the regional train line again. The cartoon had a father arriving home and saying to his kid “If you ask me for trains for Christmas, I’m going to smack you”

  50. 50
    Brick Oven Bill says:

    Another difference is that while Limbaugh references God, Barack references himself, and his excitement about finally getting a job.

    I think Yutsano likes me tc125231.

  51. 51
    StakingDeadIdeas says:

    Actually Rush, I think that’s God telling you that volcano monitoring is a Good Idea….

  52. 52
    Yutsano says:

    I’m debating if I should break the news gently, or just come right out and say it. Nah, I’ll let BoB figure it out all on his lonesome.

  53. 53

    @Yutsano: You are here! You were lurking!

  54. 54
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @WereBear:

    Rush seems to be straining with this one. He might get a rupture.

    We can but hope.

  55. 55
    Yutsano says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: A rupture or a rapture, at this point either one would be satisfactory to me. As long as he disappears off the face of the Earth.

    BTW someone should really check the fiscal health of ClearChannel, I think it would be awesome if they go bankrupt and void Rush’s contract.

    @Linda Featheringill: I be home, sick, cranky, and feisty. In other words plus ca change.

  56. 56
    mistersnrub says:

    Ugh, the day can’t come soon enough when this yutz sheds his mortal pigskin.

  57. 57

    I was going to make a snarky comment that Rush was better when he was high. Then I realized that isn’t very fair.

    Rush was better when he didn’t have a radio show.

  58. 58
    Ann B. Nonymous says:

    How many cases of kwashiorkor could the flesh of Brick Oven Willie or Limbaugh cure? That would be Godlike.

  59. 59
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Yutsano: Yeah, I was trying to do something with rupture-rapture too, but I never got anywhere with it.

    How’s that cranky-feisty stuff workin’ out for ya?

  60. 60
  61. 61
    Yutsano says:

    @SiubhanDuinne: @Linda Featheringill: Fortunately for me I’m more feisty than sick, which is why I’m up making snark faboo on BJ rather than laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. Granted I’d more than likely be getting tons of orange furred love right now if I were, but since I had stuff to do today and stuff still yet to do (brother’s birthday, Famous Dave’s, PIG!!) I’d rather be up than down.

  62. 62
    PaulW says:

    so if the volcano is God’s wrath for health care reform, what did that make Katrina? God’s wrath for Abu Gitmo? Bush’s Social Security privitization plan?

  63. 63
    HE Pennypacker, Wealthy Industrialist says:

    Rush Limbaugh’s draft-deferring anal cyst speaks again.

  64. 64
    Roberto says:

    When I read this post, without clicking through to the link, I assumed “wingnut endtimes talk” was in reference to a link to a blog post by some random wingnut.

    Then I read into the comments here and learned it was Rush Limbaugh who said this. Hard to fathom that the quote was muttered but someone with an allegedly functional brain.

  65. 65
    Bill E Pilgrim says:

    @PaulW: I think if we use Rush’s logic, then New Orleans had to be punishment for something in one of the Icelandic sagas.

    Either that or the Dreyfus affair.

  66. 66
    russell says:

    Pele hates health care?

  67. 67
    gbear says:

    Limbaugh’s argument actually makes sense if you put it into the context that Cheney/Bush invaded Iraq because of 9/11.

  68. 68
    Mike G says:

    I thought right-wing white trash liked it when disasters happened to evul sohulist Yurp. Remember the rabies-radio sick fucks laughing when thousands died in a heat wave in France a few years ago?

    By this “logic”, baby Jeebus is pleased with Obama.

    And as disasters go, a few days of grounded flights ain’t much.

    Rush is just thankful that God spared his favorite “orphanage” in the Domincan Republic when he struck down the accursed darkies in Haiti.

  69. 69
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    The only thing Rush believes in is the cash he gets paid to shovel shit to the rubes. Any cash he can fool the rubes out of through book sales and the like is the icing on his cake. Rush hates liberals because they know he is full of shit and wouldn’t spend a penny to listen to him. Rush and the right are a match made in Hell since conservatives love to eat shit, are willing to pay for it and Rush loves to serve it up piping hot for lots of cash.

    The left doesn’t throw money at their idols so being a liberal doesn’t pay off.

    Rush Limbaugh’s, the draft-deferring anal cyst, speaks again.

    Fix’t.

  70. 70
    gnomedad says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Limbaugh references God, Barack references himself

    Unlike Rush, the Prez takes personal responsibility for what he puts out there.

  71. 71
    Kobie says:

    Good Christ, Limbaugh is a soulless piece of human trash. And BOB ain’t much better.

  72. 72
    Ash says:

    This it OT, though almost on topic as well I guess…..The assclown mayor of my town went on camera saying Obama isn’t American.

    http://gawker.com/5519631/illi.....s-american

  73. 73
    Pasquinade says:

    So Rush Limbaugh walks into a bar with a bullfrog on top of his head, and the bartender says, “What’s that thing?” and the bullfrog goes, “not sure, it started out as an anal cyst.”

  74. 74
    Brachiator says:

    @Yutsano:

    BTW someone should really check the fiscal health of ClearChannel, I think it would be awesome if they go bankrupt and void Rush’s contract.

    Your mouth to the deity’s ears:

    If radio giant Clear Channel Communications can’t restructure its debt in the next few years, it will likely collapse, sources told the Post.

    And that is exactly what some of its large creditors want.
    Clear Channel, the nation’s largest radio station owner — and which locally operates WKTU and Z-100 — has been unsuccessfully negotiating with some lenders to refinance its crippling debt, a source said….

    Bain and THL bought Clear Channel in a $24 billion leveraged buyout in 2008. It may take about four years, but if the company can’t manage to change its capital structure, it will ultimately default on its $18.4 billion debt, sources said.

    Sadly, Rush may still end up getting paid, but some of his radio outlets may go belly up.

    But he will never have enough balls to compare Clear Channel to “dumb, unworthy” mortgage holders who foolishly and selfishly got into more debt than they could handle.

  75. 75
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    Begging for a fix…

    So Rush Limbaugh walks into a bar with a bullfrog on top of his head, and the bartender says, “What’s that thing?” and the bullfrog goes, “not sure, it started out as an anal cyst and later on it learned to talk. Since it makes money I’ve decided to keep it though I do have to admit that dragging it around in public is embarrassing.”

    Fix’t.

  76. 76
    Brachiator says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Obama is, in fact, Godlike. Neither has a birth certificate.

    Everybody knows that Jesus was in fact born in Kenya, and had his birth registered in Bethlehem. It’s right there in the Bible, in plain English.

    On the other hand, Obama could not be godlike because, unlike teabaggers, he believes in separation of Church and State.

  77. 77
    Yutsano says:

    @Brachiator: I’m pretty sure the way his contract is structured he’ll be either at the top or near the top of the creditor’s list. So even if they do go under he’ll still make out like a bandit. It’s not quite my hope of a total liquidation (where individual stations get sold off to various other networks, so Rush can get shut out if they decide not to pay out) but it’s at least the devil getting his due.

  78. 78
    El Cid says:

    Obama is not like Jesus, because Jesus never got old enough to be President. You have to be 35. He died ineligible. And also, Ronald Reagan hadn’t invented America yet.

  79. 79
    WereBear says:

    As much as I’d love to think of Rush winding up in a rusty trailer held up with auto jacks, I don’t think it will happen.

    However, there is the Instant Karma aspect; which is that he’s Rush Limbaugh.

    A massively unattractive drug addict who still doesn’t have enough money to get women to stay married to him.

  80. 80
    Nick says:

    so the punishment for electing Obama is God will destroy the economy of Europe?

    maybe God just MEANT to blow the ash our way

  81. 81
    maus says:

    I love how the teabaggers and WND have forced Limbaugh even further to the right, now he’s courting the RaptureReady crowd.

  82. 82
    Brachiator says:

    @Yutsano:

    I’m pretty sure the way his contract is structured he’ll be either at the top or near the top of the creditor’s list. So even if they do go under he’ll still make out like a bandit.

    This may be true, but probably more due to the structuring of Rush’s syndication deal than because he is near the top of the creditor’s list.

    Like some newspapers, radio is hurt by technological changes, and by the impact of ill-advised financial deals. But one other item in the Post story is interesting, pointing out how radio stations are eating their own by firing high priced talent in favor of syndicated fare even though the local hosts bring in higher ratings.

    In another move that was likely intended to save money, Clear Channel this year fired WGY morning talk-show host Al Roney, replacing him with syndicated talk show host Glenn Beck, even though Roney beat Beck in local ratings when Beck was on a rival station.

    “Clear Channel may have come to a point where they don’t have enough people to make the stations profitable,” Brady said.

    What would be an even greater blow than a hit to his wallet would be a hit to Rush’s ego. If his listeners decline and his influence wanes as Clear Channel’s woes mount, his money will be cold comfort.

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Yutsano says:

    @Brachiator:

    What would be an even greater blow than a hit to his wallet would be a hit to Rush’s ego. If his listeners decline and his influence wanes as Clear Channel’s woes mount, his money will be cold comfort.

    Hell, if pointing out how his numbers are padded by being on more than one station on several markets doesn’t embarrass him, nothing is gonna do it. That of course requires a sense of shame and contrition. In other words, nahgunnahappen.

    Off to dinner, have fun y’all.

  85. 85
    toujoursdan says:

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to say that God is punishing Iceland for their formerly unregulated banking industry, and the credit bubble that brought down their economy and destroyed the savings of other European citizens (as if they haven’t been punished enough)?

    Shouldn’t this be a warning that we not (continue to) do the same and that more financial regulation is needed?

    That’s my spin on the whole thing. It makes more sense than his.

  86. 86
    Roger Moore says:

    @gbear:

    Limbaugh’s argument actually makes sense if you put it into the context that Cheney/Bush invaded Iraq because of 9/11.

    You win the internet for the day.

  87. 87
    maus says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    Another difference is that while Limbaugh references God, Barack references himself, and his excitement about finally getting a job.

    Conservatives love insincere references to a god they don’t believe in when they’re off the air, or not trying to court the evangelicals/charismatics.

    You’re not very smart, duder.

  88. 88
    Mum says:

    @Yutsano:

    What B.O.B. and the birthers don’t understand is that your original birth certificate does not leave the county “Vital Records” department – ever. All anyone can ever get is a copy. They used to be thermofaxed or photostatted. I have the copy of my birth certificate that my parents obtained after my birth and it looks like a negative. I even have one in my family records that my grandmother obtained when she got her marriage license back in 1925 that is completely written by hand. They would both have been considered legitimate proof of birth because they are certified. (Copies of my birth certificate that I have obtained in the past 20 years have looked very much like the one that has been displayed multiple times as proof of the President’s “natural born” standing.) Everyone working in any organization or institution requiring proof of birth will accept a copy (since all of them ARE copies) as long as it is certified and signed.

    When the birthers are protesting that the President never provided his “real” birth certificate, they are not only showing their ignorance, but they’re actually casting doubt on the integrity of the county of Honolulu and the state of Hawaii, which would be the certifying institutions.

  89. 89
    zoe kentucky in pittsburgh says:

    According to a recent poll 17% of Americans self-identify as part of the teabagger movement– these are people who view an election via democratic means as a “hostile takeover” of “their” country, most of them are birthers, most them see bloodthirsty socialists and commies under their beds but couldn’t begin to explain what either one of those concepts actually mean. What I haven’t seen in a poll of teabaggers is how many of them voted for Bush, I’d guess at least 90%. They’re basically Bush dead-enders, part of that bizarro 24% who still gave him positive reviews by the end of his 2nd term.

    The MSM loves the teabaggers because they’re a bunch of angry, old white people who seem to have an endless well to tap into for crazy, unhinged baseless rhetoric. Their leaders are Limbaugh, Beck and Palin, who the rest of the country view as crazy people.

  90. 90
    Niques says:

    @Brick Oven Bill: BOB, you’re a fool.

  91. 91
    Nancy Irving says:

    Wow, America sins, Europe gets punished. Cool!

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