Lighten Up, Francis

Oh for christ sakes. One post asking if the tone has changed and dozens of you start kvetching about an overdose of introspection and bitching about holding hands singing kumbaya and group hugs. The other half of you launch personal attacks at my front pagers, all of whom I think do a great job and who I like (and you people step back on DougJ). And then a bunch of you come out of nowhere and complain things aren’t as good as they used to be when you walked to school uphill in the snow both ways.

I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.






364 replies
  1. 1
    RS says:

    This is why I love this place.

  2. 2
    akaoni says:

    Better, much better!

  3. 3
    chowkster says:

    Perfect.

  4. 4
    Max says:

    Blogging ain’t beanbag, Cole.

  5. 5
    patrick II says:

    Back to normal.

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Cris says:

    There was one.

  8. 8
    Trainrunner says:

    Apparently, it turns out, Mrs. Lincoln didn’t care for the play.

    Makes you think.

  9. 9
    TonyDogs says:

    I’ve been coming here since this morning, and I have to say, since then the tone has really changed. I’m never coming here again and I hope everyone’s hair falls out. I’m going to where people are civil and discuss the issues of today rationally — FreeRepublic.org

  10. 10
    Fair Economist says:

    Ah, the BJ I signed up for!

  11. 11
    ADM says:

    Seems festivus came early this year.

  12. 12
    David in NY says:

    So I can safely skip comments to the post titled “Somthing to Think About,” can I?

    Except, how will I find out who Francis is?

  13. 13
    James K. Polk, Esq. says:

    Cole +1?

  14. 14
    Facebones says:

    You were expecting sensitive, well reasoned comments?

    You have been on the internets, right?

  15. 15
    Violet says:

    Yay! John Cole is back!

  16. 16
    SGEW says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    This is precisely what I was asking for.

    (revels)

  17. 17
    Ash says:

    I like this one better.

  18. 18
    Cris says:

    @David in NY: Except, how will I find out who Francis is?

    Everybody calls him Psycho. If you call him Francis, he’ll kill you.

  19. 19

    Francis the talking mule, perhaps.

  20. 20
    Frank Chow says:

    Phew, for a second there I thought this site was going to turn into the VIEW.

    Cheers!

  21. 21

    The drugs are wearing off.

    Edit – I’ve been coming here since before John was a Dem. and this place has mellowed out some. Especially since “Darrell” “retired.”

  22. 22
    sparky says:

    @SGEW: whut u sed.

  23. 23
    gogol's wife says:

    I’m so relieved. (back to work)

  24. 24
    Llelldorin says:

    Hurrah! Give us hell, Cole!

  25. 25
    kid bitzer says:

    yup. i came for this and pet pics.

    this, pet pics, and awesome snark.

    sorry–this, pet pics, awesome snark, and nice red uniforms.

  26. 26
    Short Bus Bully says:

    Bloggin’, much like pimpin’, aint easy.

  27. 27
    demkat620 says:

    Ah, cranky John Cole is back. I love it.

  28. 28
    Ash says:

    @Frank Chow:

    Phew, for a second there I thought this site was going to turn into the VIEW.

    OOOH! Can BOB be the stupid blond one?!

  29. 29
    Crashman says:

    This is why I love this place.

  30. 30
    jacy says:

    Yay!

  31. 31
    Third Eye Open says:

    B..B..But John, does this mean you’re not coming to my birthday party, anymore?

    Seriously, this woe-is-me my minions are mean, schtick is kinda below you. Drink a beer, and revel in the fact that we are all curmudgeonly fvcks with little better to do than rile up the noobs.

  32. 32
    Legalize says:

    No one could have predicted.

    (Smashes something)

  33. 33
    Stefan says:

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    You had me at oh for christ sakes.

  34. 34
    El Cid says:

    Uh oh! Now someone else is “thin skinned”! Now I have to flee to huddle back in the warm embrace of Foreign Affairs.

  35. 35
    Dan B says:

    “I’m sick of you people, you’re just a bunch of fickle mush heads.”

    “He’s right! Give us hell, Quimby!”

  36. 36
    Doug says:

    John Cole is a freaking national treasure.

  37. 37
    psycholinguist says:

    I agree in general about the “naval gazing bad” – however, there is something different, and better about the comments section of this blog. Compare it to Atrios, who I began reading about 7 years ago. There was a “golden age” of responses over there (remember woot?) when you were pretty much guaranteed to laugh your ass off and learn something in the process, now it’s “Frist” and inside jokes, etc.

    Don’t know, maybe there is some critical mass of readers that you hit in terms of #’s and demographics where everything works, and then you become a victim of your own success cause all the dumbasses show up for the party. I’ve got the equipment, maybe I’ll do a content analysis on the comments and see what bubbles up.

  38. 38
    Noonan says:

    Pearl Necklace Clutchers, I’mma let you finish–but BJ is one of the greatest blogs of all time.

    /Kanye’d

  39. 39
    Elroy's Lunch says:

    Whoaa! I missed the other post asking about the tone.

    Good answer John. For a minute there I thought we might be accused of being “slothful” or “Cole cultists”.

  40. 40
    Cris says:

    @Noonan: Pearl Necklace Clutchers

    ew

  41. 41
    South of I-10 says:

    I feel like I’ve been punched in the neck. Back to work now.

  42. 42
    Joel says:

    Fucking Stanford fans. That was the greatest play in NCAA history.

  43. 43
    TBogg says:

    Jane Hamsher!
    Grover Norquist!

    Whoops. Sorry. Old habits die hard.

  44. 44
    crsbfish says:

    You just made the list.

  45. 45
  46. 46
    Kevin K. says:

    If John was semi-nekkid and a lesbian, I would’ve paid close to $2000 dollars for that. But I would have put it on Betty Cracker’s credit card.

  47. 47

    Please, Sir, may I have another?

  48. 48
    gypsy howell says:

    Phew. You’re back. NOW can we get on with discussing whether the Boy Scouts is an institution devoted to child pornography and molestation?

  49. 49
    Morbo says:

    Screw you, buddy!

  50. 50
    Velvet Elvis says:

    What’s the origin of the phrase “Lighten up Francis” anyway? Anyone know?

  51. 51
    Kevin K. says:

    Life was so much simpler when we all focused on Turd Blossom and cockslapping jokes.

    DEAR KENYAN LEADER AND HIS STUPID VICTORY HAVE RUINED EVERYTHING!

  52. 52
    GReynoldsCT00 says:

    That’s our John!

  53. 53

    Oh thank God. Enough of this touchy-feely bullshit.

    Ah damn, there I go making fun of the Pope again. /D’oh

  54. 54
    ChrisZ says:

    <3

  55. 55
    mantis says:

    Write things I like in the manner I like them written, dammit! What the hell do I pay you people for?!

  56. 56
    flukebucket says:

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Oh yeah. This is much more like it.

    And just for the record I like all of the front pagers.

    But hell I liked Michael D. I can remember how my asshole puckered up when he started a post by saying, “I was reading an article over at Reason magazine…..”

    I knew the expletives were about to start flying.

  57. 57
    Persia says:

    @RS: THIS.

  58. 58
    Redshift says:

    LOL. Nice one, John.

  59. 59
    Kevin K. says:

    Great, now FDL blogger TBogg has shown up so we all have to pour through his financial records. This transparency shit is so much work. I haven’t even finished auditing Blue Texan yet.

  60. 60
    Remember November says:

    love you too, John,

  61. 61
    Cris says:

    @Velvet Elvis: What’s the origin of the phrase “Lighten up Francis” anyway? Anyone know?

    You just made the list, buddy.

  62. 62
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    Shorter JC:

    Fuck you! Also, buy some fucking Tunch gear!

  63. 63
    martha says:

    @Joel: Damn right…Go Bears!

  64. 64
    SGEW says:

    @flukebucket:

    But hell I liked Michael D.

    Hey, yeah. There’s a guy I could argue with.

  65. 65
    scav says:

    Need to hit update more often.

  66. 66
    El Cid says:

    @gypsy howell:

    NOW can we get on with discussing whether the Boy Scouts is an institution devoted to child pornography and molestation?

    Has anyone brought up the Perversion files?

  67. 67
    MattR says:

    @Velvet Elvis: Looks like WordPress ate the first version of this response

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrllCZw8jiM

  68. 68
    norbizness says:

    Hey John, remember six-and-a-half years ago?

  69. 69
    Poopyman says:

    Jesus Christ! Hasn’t anybody here ever seen “Stripes”? I swear to Jeebus you’re all a pain in the ass, and if this keeps up, I’m going to have to cut back on my commenting here. Or something.

  70. 70
    Parole Officer Burke says:

    TBogg has shown up so we all have to pour through his financial records.

    I demand that Glenn Greenwald disclose his connection to the teeth-whitening advertisement on Salon.com! What is he hiding?

  71. 71
    John PM says:

    I see that you are trying to get above 1000 comments with this one.

    As someone who stumbled upon you through a link from Andrew Sullivan and has stayed for the pie and neck-punching, may I just give a hearty BRAVO! to this post. Just call me a Cole-bot.

  72. 72
    Midnight Marauder says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    That’s the spirit, Cole!

  73. 73

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Teehee. I am completed once again.

  74. 74
    Chat Noir says:

    Tunch and Lily rule!

  75. 75
    geg6 says:

    Have I told you lately how much I love you, John Cole?

    Fuckin’ A.

  76. 76
    boognish says:

    COLE SMASH

  77. 77
    TR says:

    Damn, looks like Sgt. Hulka just rammed his big toe up our ass.

  78. 78

    All is right in my world, John has once again called us all a bunch of losers. Win.

  79. 79
    Legalize says:

    @Velvet Elvis:
    The movie “Stripes”.

  80. 80
    maye says:

    I love a good chewing out in the morning. Refreshing.

  81. 81
    Loneoak says:

    This supports my theory that an obscenity laced rant is always preferable to introspection. It’s simply more productive.

  82. 82

    Great, now FDL blogger TBogg has shown up so we all have to pour through his financial records. This transparency shit is so much work.

    If there are expenditures for anything other than Basset Hound care, you know you’ve found something.

  83. 83
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @gypsy howell: For this, we will have to consult our Senior Child Molestation Expert, Stephen Colbert.

  84. 84
    Billy K says:

    I don’t think this post is helping the tone.

  85. 85
    Ash says:

    @norbizness:

    Hey John, remember six-and-a-half years ago?

    No matter how much things change, they always stay the same.

    What a bunch of crap albums. Parliament, yikes, you have problems with your ears.

  86. 86
    Emma says:

    Cool. Back to our normal grumpiness. TUNCHIE!!!!

  87. 87
    Anachronym says:

    Hmm, I suspect that when Cole clears the moderation queue there will be at least twelve links to the same youtube video.

  88. 88
    Velvet Elvis says:

    COLE’S LAW

  89. 89
    Francis says:

    ya know, as someone whose parents actually gave him the name “Francis”, I’ve always hated that line.

    (and the talking mule)

    [but stripes was a great movie]

    [[and Glenn is still a blowhard even if he’s trying to do the right thing]]

    [[[88: finely sliced cabbage with a light mayo dressing]]]

  90. 90
    Lisa K. says:

    Front pager telling loyal readers to GFY? Now THAT is why I come here!!!!!!

  91. 91
  92. 92
    demo woman says:

    @norbizness: This quote by John is the same time frame,

    I don’t know if I have it in me to watch cable news anymore,

    Some things never change. Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

  93. 93
    Randy P says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Actually, I’d say that sets the tone rather nicely.

    I’d be hard put to say exactly what “the tone” is, but the effect of reading that was not unlike when my little long-haired furball hisses. It’s really hard to get offended, or to do anything but laugh.

  94. 94
    Punchy says:

    and you people step back on DougJ

    You’ve DEMOTED him! Asshole.

    And how does Greenwald’s PAC and the Duke Lacrosse team factor into this?

  95. 95
  96. 96
    still liberal says:

    This blog should have ended a couple of years ago. Closets are not conducive to good mental health. And DougJ remains an asshole.

  97. 97
    Bill the Cat says:

    Ack!

    Thbbft!

  98. 98

    Just one question: How soon will Greenwald be a front-pager here?

    DCr

  99. 99
    Trinity says:

    Now this is more like it!

    Oh, and a new Tunch pic please!

    kthnxbai

  100. 100
    Pococurante says:

    John “Lucy” Cole just pulled the football on us blockheads. We’ll never learn! ;-)

  101. 101
    mcc says:

    I don’t really know what’s going on here. I didn’t read the other thread.

    I think the political blogosphere has been pretty silly lately in general.

    I think some people here really are getting angry and losing perspective on things. I think if Balloon Juice wants to make efforts to try to tone down nastiness in the comments section here that would be a positive thing.

    I’ll say… I don’t know if this is going to make sense or not. I think one reason some of us may be coming to this site is because there are some people out there right now who really are doing some just kind of awful things and a lot of the blogosphere or media tends to hold back from pointing that out for whatever reason. Balloon Juice seems to be willing to actually come out and say that, and it’s refreshing. Covering up child molestation for example really is just a terrible thing. But you can point out things are terrible while being polite and respectful. You can even be really cutting and mean while being polite and respectful. Maybe it’s even more effective if you do.

  102. 102
    rootless-e says:

    I dunno if Greenwald realized that he was dissing an Arkon. Talk about putting your foot in it. His Senior Litigator badge is going to be revoked, toot-sweet.

  103. 103
    media browski says:

    Well John, you did open up a can of worms and a barrel of monkeys simultaneously…

  104. 104
    Alice Blue says:

    John, I love you when you’re angry!

  105. 105

    And then a bunch of you come out of nowhere and complain things aren’t as good as they used to be when you walked to school uphill in the snow both ways.

    You left out the ‘three miles,’ as in “walked three miles to school through the snow, uphill both ways.”

    See, things really are going downhill around here!

  106. 106
    meh says:

    someone has a sandy vajayjay…

  107. 107
    Betsy says:

    Fuck you too!! <3

    Also, was it expensive to hire a separate moving van just for Tunch?

  108. 108
    PTirebiter says:

    First Greenwald says I don’t have a molecule of self awareness, now JC says I don’t realize what a pain in the ass I am. Apparently I have the full range of molecules, because I am painfully aware of my own ass-holiness.

  109. 109
    gbear says:

    I am somewhat disappointed in everybody.

  110. 110
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    shorter John Cole:

    Tone? You can’t handle the tone!

  111. 111
    Randy P says:

    I suspect the real issue here may be that John’s favorite coffee mug is lost in one of the packing boxes and he’s been searching for it since moving in.

    Or maybe it’s Tunch’s favorite toy. Does Tunch do toys?

  112. 112
    Kryptik says:

    Oh less navel-gazing note, guys? You know that Obama concession to offshore drilling? Well, guess who isn’t pleased by it:

    President Barack Obama’s plan to allow expanded offshore oil and gas exploration won rebuke from the top House Republican on Wednesday.
    House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) dismissed the president’s plan as not going far enough in opening up U.S. waters for exploration. Obama’s decision “continues to defy the will of the American people,” Boehner said in a statement, pointing to the president’s decision to open Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico waters, while leaving Pacific and many Alaskan waters largely closed to exploration. http://thehill.com/blogs/e2-wi.....lling-plan

    Shorter Boehner: Obama’s plan to share half the cake with us is a sham. If he was truly bipartisan, he’d give us the whole cake and then half his milk too.

  113. 113
    RoonieRoo says:

    I love ya John! When everyone is in danger of taking themselves a bit too seriously, you know how to slap everyone and get them to come back to reality.

  114. 114
    flukebucket says:

    How soon will Greenwald be a front-pager here?

    Or maybe Jake Tapper.

  115. 115

    @still liberal:

    This blog should have ended a couple of years ago.

    We will haunt your precious ass till the end of time, plus a day.

    And DougJ remains an asshole.

    Nada. You however are, just like moi.

  116. 116
    Da Bomb says:

    I love it when you talk dirty John. It makes my innards tingle.

    I like the additional front pagers. They don’t bother at all.

  117. 117
    R. Johnston says:

    When did Tunch learn to type?

  118. 118
    PTirebiter says:

    P.S. I’m all for the additional front pagers a lot.

  119. 119
    WereBear says:

    And gee, I tried so hard to be nice on that other thread.

    Glad that obligation is off my plate…

  120. 120
    jibeaux says:

    @Kryptik:

    Steve Benen
    , who you might’ve gotten this from has an interesting thing about this up. I was disturbed to read that there is a Broder/Friedman/Brooks Axis. I assume that’s the Axis of the Banality of Evil.

  121. 121
    Punchy says:

    Also, was it expensive to hire a separate moving van just for Tunch?

    This is really funneh.

  122. 122
    Laertes says:

    If I were you, I’d go ask Teresa Nielsen-Hayden about moderation.

    Ultimately, the only way you can exercise any real control over the tone is to roll up your sleeves and moderate. It’s easy to fuck it up, though, so you want to think good and hard about exactly how you’re going to do it if you’re going to do it, and Nielsen-Hayden has done that kind of hard thinking.

    I mean, look at the comments section over there. Jesus.

  123. 123
    scav says:

    @gbear:

    I am somewhat disappointed in everybody.

    QUICK! we need a transfusion of invective here STAT!

  124. 124
    Lee says:

    Bestest post evar!!

    To be honest, I’ve never really noticed a change in tone and I’m a pretty longtime reader.

    Two things I have noticed:

    Fewer WoW posts (but I figured that was due to WoW burnout).
    Fewer sciencey posts from Tim F. (I figured I was in the minority of readers enjoying reading about something I could barely understand).

  125. 125
    Leelee for Obama says:

    Glad to see you back in form, John! Too much introspection spoils the broth and all that.

    Can I get an amen?

  126. 126
    Face says:

    Or maybe Jake Tapper.

    Is this a Larry Craig pseudonym?

  127. 127
    ajr22 says:

    Who is talkin bad about Doug J? Cole something like this would have been appropriate. “I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to people who rise and sleep under the blog that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way.”

  128. 128
    Comrade Dread says:

    Are people really just now discovering that internet commentors are jackasses, trolls, and dicks?

  129. 129
    Pooh says:

    John Fucking Cole!

    I was gonna post one of those “back in my day comments” but I didn’t because I realized that it would be just like “I liked Green Day before they were popular” type bullshit. We live in outrageous times, so it’s pretty easy to stay outraged IMO.

    And tell Glenzilla (who I usually love) to eat a nice big plate of shut the fuck up.

  130. 130
    CaseyL says:

    don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    OK, sorry John, but this made me giggle like a madwoman.

    Meet the New Cole – same as the Old Cole. And a good thing, too!

    JFTR: I approve of all your front pagers, and even if I didn’t wouldn’t carp because this is your place and you get to run it as you like.

  131. 131
    Very Reverend Crimson Fire of Compassion says:

    @Randy P: Yes. Ones that bleed.

  132. 132
    WereBear says:

    @jibeaux: To bring up the topic of why I keep coming here, there’s usually a great article I might have missed. In the Benen one, it would be this phrase:

    the great crazy of 2009

    Which is going into the vocab, toot sweet!

    This article also sums up what I love best about our current President; he goes as far as he can, while still getting stuff accomplished.

    That’s a bit of a parse that I think a lot on the Left could ponder on.

  133. 133
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    You know who else was disappointed in his people and told them all to go to hell…

  134. 134
    Jim, Foolish Literalist says:

    @jibeaux:

    I assume that’s the Axis of the Banality of Evil.

    Golfclap

    (On topic: I have no idea what the topic is)

  135. 135
    David in NY says:

    @Velvet Elvis:

    OK, the commenters here are such tight-ass withholders, I actually had to go to Google to figure out the Francis quote:

    From the movie Stripes,

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00.....?qt0483074

  136. 136
    El Cid says:

    @WereBear: The Long, Hot TeaTard Summer.

  137. 137
  138. 138
    ricky says:

    Try harder, Cole. On further reflection I still don’t care for fat white cats who play quarterback. Or being in moderation.

  139. 139
    Laertes says:

    Here, for instance, is an article she wrote on the subject.

    Especially apt, perhaps, is this item:

    10. Another important rule: You can let one jeering, unpleasant jerk hang around for a while, but the minute you get two or more of them egging each other on, they both have to go, and all their recent messages with them. There are others like them prowling the net, looking for just that kind of situation. More of them will turn up, and they’ll encourage each other to behave more and more outrageously. Kill them quickly and have no regrets.

    If you think the tone has changed, it’s probably because this site has achieved a critical mass of people who set out to be unpleasant. They can’t be reasoned with or talked down–they thrive on the negativity they create. Once they’ve arrived, your only options are to shut them down or let them set the tone.

  140. 140
    Waynski says:

    That’s the fact, Jack! Right on, Cole.

    You hear that boys, we’re goin’ to party Italian style.

  141. 141
    Leelee for Obama says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Hahahahahaha! I believe I may have hurt myself laughing!

    Good times.

  142. 142
    numbskull says:

    Geeze, I’m still laughing and I’m in the middle of passing the third stone of the month…

  143. 143
    Quackosaur says:

    @Sentient Puddle:

    Oh, there are times when I miss the days that Stewart had his nefarious liberal mind-control-hold over Colbert.

    —–

    Also, I am shocked and appalled (shocked, I say!) that Mister Cole would speak to us in such a rude tone! I must call Congress and insist that they draft a non-binding resolution condemning his harsh words! Only then will he know that he has gone too far!

  144. 144
    kid bitzer says:

    @132–

    now all we need is a youtube of “downfall” where dougj and the other posters break it to john cole that his blog still sucks.

    the rest of us are the subalterns and blond dolls cringing in the hallway.

  145. 145
    Sarcastro says:

    I’ve got a bottomless well of deep thought right here in my fist.

    Woa! Woa! Down Mr. Fisty, down!

  146. 146
    Perry Como says:

    I love it when front pagers troll this blog. I mean, that’s DougJ, by definition.

  147. 147
    geg6 says:

    And now that John is back to his old cranky self, can we go back to making fun of the right?

    And what better way than posting a link to that paragon of measured tones and moderate language, the Rude Pundit:

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.com.....idiot.html

  148. 148
    NobodySpecial says:

    I’m just here for the free booze, man!

  149. 149
    Wiesman says:

    Who had 2 hours, 41 minutes in the “How long it will take before John posts a rant complaining about the response to his thoughtful post” pool?

  150. 150
    Frankly says:

    It’s always a challenge when hunting the snark

    The snark is a peculiar creature that cannot be captured in a commonplace way. Above all, courage is required during a snark hunt. The most common method is to seek it with thimbles, care, forks, and hope. One may also “threaten its life with a railway share” or “charm it with smiles and soap”.

  151. 151
    TooManyJens says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    All is right in my world, John has once again called us all a bunch of losers.

    I think of it as the Balloon Juice palate cleanser. Time for the next course!

  152. 152
    David in NY says:

    @jibeaux:

    [The] Broder/Friedman/Brooks Axis. I assume that’s the Axis of the Banality of Evil.

    Beyond win. Deserves to become an “internet tradition” of which all must be aware.

  153. 153
    Citizen_X says:

    What the fuck, people, I get through this whole thread, and not a single DIAF!? You guys are slipping.

    I am reporting you all straight to Radok Obama.

  154. 154
    tommybones says:

    Awesome.

  155. 155
    LiberalTarian says:

    I still like you guys. But I just don’t comment much anymore. But still, you read those guys so I don’t have to, and that’s what I like!

  156. 156
    Susan says:

    Perfect, thanks!

  157. 157
    WereBear says:

    @El Cid: LOL!

    I’d have gone with Suddenly, Last Summer, but only because of the cannibal references. :)

  158. 158
    soonergrunt says:

    Thanks. I feel better now.

  159. 159
    Alex S. says:

    I warned you colored chalk would do it to them! But you didn’t listen!

  160. 160
    MattR says:

    @David in NY: Guess you did not check out my 11:20 youtube link

  161. 161
    slag says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    That’s “Fuckwits” to you, Cole.

  162. 162
    YellowJournalism says:

    “We love you when you’re angry!”

  163. 163
    BruinKid says:

    So is this a bad time to ask why my comment in the George Takei PSA didn’t appear after I submitted it? Tried to resubmit, and got a message saying I already submitted it. And it was a good one with nice facts on redistricting too. :-(

  164. 164
    debit says:

    You made the helicopters cry. I hope you’re happy now, Cole. Asshole.

  165. 165
    Lawnguylander says:

    @Laertes:

    If you think the tone has changed, it’s probably because this site has achieved a critical mass of people who set out to be unpleasant. They can’t be reasoned with or talked down—they thrive on the negativity they create. Once they’ve arrived, your only options are to shut them down or let them set the tone.

    BORING!

  166. 166
    morzer says:

    So this is what a zulif looks like in action?

  167. 167
    stuckinred says:

    Fuckin A dawg!

  168. 168
    Darkmoth says:

    I can’t find the “Chastised by John Cole” line on my RNC expense form.

  169. 169
    williamc says:

    @jibeaux:

    Axis of the Banality of Evil

    WIN

    I’ve been thinking of Broder/Friedman/Bobo like this for years! Boring people who advocate evil things like they are run-of-the-mill…

    As for the BJ shitfits of late, I assumed everyone here was an asshole…

  170. 170
    Ash Can says:

    Now that’s the John Cole I know and love. You go, boy.

    And I like the other frontpagers just fine. If they post something I’m not really into, I skip over it. Big deal. Nothing in my BJ Jackass Commenter contract obligates me to read every last fucking line on this blog. What the contract does say, on the other hand, in big-ass letters right across the top, is “it ain’t your goddamned blog, jackass.” I can live with that.

  171. 171
    stuckinred says:

    “we’re the USA Army, we’re 10-1!

  172. 172
    Josie says:

    Now this is the blog I came to as a refugee from over-earnest, sanctimonious, petty sites (we won’t name names). I am a kindly 66 year old granny lady with cats, dogs, a garden and other boring granny lady pursuits and have no problem with the stuff on this blog. If I did have a problem at any point, I could solve it easily enough by clicking on the little red button on the upper left hand corner of my computer screen. Thank you, John Cole.

  173. 173
    Ash says:

    @Darkmoth: Do a find for the Fetish Factory. It should be listed around there somewhere.

  174. 174
    matoko_chan says:

    I’ll only quit you when you stop bitchslapping ppl.
    Bring the pain.

  175. 175
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Darkmoth:

    I can’t find the “Chastised by John Cole” line on my RNC expense form.

    Suddenly the phrase “I didn’t get a pony” takes on a whole new meaning.

  176. 176
    kid bitzer says:

    @162–

    so how come there’s no entry in the bj lexicon for “helicopters, laughing/crying”?

  177. 177
    Poopyman says:

    As for the BJ shitfits of late, I assumed everyone here was an asshole…

    A badge of honor, man. We wear it with pride.

  178. 178
    stuckinred says:

    @Josie:

    Sleep on the beach and make it
    Throw down the jam till the girls say when
    Lay down the law and break it
    When Josie comes home

  179. 179
    RinaX says:

    What happened?

  180. 180
    cleek says:

    how intolerant!

    some liberal you are.

  181. 181
    debit says:

    @kid bitzer: Maybe Cole thinks the helicopters are not worthy. Like I said, he’s an asshole.

    (Seriously, I looked and there’s nothing under Balloon Boy either. How odd.)

  182. 182
    Liz says:

    @stuckinred:

    no, this is why I love this place.

    Ace.

  183. 183
    Jules says:

    hahahahahaha
    That was brilliant Cole….

  184. 184
    JoshA says:

    From someone who usually just lurks: I like this place, I like your front-pagers, they’re part of the reason I visit.

    Although mainly I visit here because I fear Tunch’s retribution if were to stop.

    That’s it.

  185. 185
    thejoz says:

    Less kumbaya, more Tunch. STAT.

    I DEMAND IT OR I WILL PROTEST YOU FOR BEING A SOCINAZICOMMUNOISLAMISUPERFACIST.

  186. 186
    Ming says:

    priceless.

  187. 187
    stuckinred says:

    @Liz: Ace the Bobby Weir album?

  188. 188
    JZ says:

    First free lunch in my office and then this. Best day ever.

  189. 189
    Dreggas says:

    Now can we get back to skull-fucking Kittens?

  190. 190
    williamc says:

    @Poopyman:

    Hey, thats no slight against you assholes…I’m told all the time that I’m a mean asshole, and I believe it because I hear the words coming out of my mouth…I like assholes, it makes me feel accepted…

    And I love Arkon DougJ, but I would as I’m only a Senoir Gunner…

  191. 191
    serge says:

    That’s brilliant! And less discomfiting than a “dose of the salts.”

    Thanks, John.

  192. 192
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    This comment spree is why BJ is the best place on the intertoobes.

    And norbizness is still an insufferable music snob.

  193. 193
    Uloborus says:

    @gypsy howell:
    I want to discuss this.

  194. 194
    Allan says:

    I stayed the hell out of that whole conversation.

    Glad to hear I didn’t miss anything.

  195. 195
    AB says:

    Yes!

    By the way, I think there is a way to actually go uphill both ways (but you can also go downhill both ways). You start with a 2 story house with the top floor having a balcony and have the school entrance some distance away right between the front door and the balcony. One ramp goes from the balcony to the school, and one goes from the front door to the school. If you’re stupid, you end up walking uphill both ways.

  196. 196
    Josie says:

    @stuckinred – I was not familiar with that song. I looked it up and loved it. Made me want to dance. Thanks.

  197. 197
    Phoebe says:

    @Josie: What she said. Although I liked it better when I misread it to say “boring granny lady pantsuits”.

  198. 198
    J. Michael Neal says:

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    I resent this accusation deeply. I am *not* anonymous.

  199. 199
    LT says:

    @Josie: Josie rocks. So does B Juice.

  200. 200
    cleek says:

    Charles Bird DougJ sucks and is ruining this site!

    ref

  201. 201
    stuckinred says:

    @Josie: Oh my! Well you’ll want to watch this nice clip from “The Greatest Albums” series about the making of the tune and the Album “Aja”.

  202. 202
    J. Michael Neal says:

    @Phoebe:

    What she said. Although I liked it better when I misread it to say “boring granny lady pantsuits”.

    PUMA alert

  203. 203
    Little Dreamer says:

    @TonyDogs:

    FreeRepublic? LMAO!

  204. 204
    dr. bloor says:

    @stuckinred:

    “we’re the USA Army, we’re 10-1!

    Clearly predates Iraq and Afghanistan.

    This is why big-name schools are always so reluctant to put mid-majors on the schedules.

  205. 205
    Little Dreamer says:

    @stuckinred:

    Awesome album, one of my absolute favorites. TZ and I got to see Steely Dan in concert a few months ago and they did the entire album. Wonderful show.

  206. 206
    The Moar You Know says:

    I assume all the trouble was caused by the change in my handle. It’s changed back now.

    Also, the recent bickering has been REALLY good news for John McCain.

  207. 207
    stuckinred says:

    @Little Dreamer: Saw em in the ATL this summer too, Donald’s voice was really struggling but still. . .

  208. 208
    Darkmoth says:

    Reason #85 to reserve our greatest scorn for wingnuts: conservative friend sends me –

    These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read.

    “You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

    What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

    When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

    You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.”

    Now seriously, would a liberal ever send out some shit like that?

    My response

    Going to have to say that #4 is not one of the best sentences I’ve ever read. It runs on, and the construction is off. A tighter version would be –

    “For some reason, I think we have 50% unemployment.”

  209. 209
    Josie says:

    @Phoebe – I am old enough to remember pantsuits and how liberated we felt to be able to wear them to teach. Now I’m retired, and it’s all jeans, all the time.

    @LT – I’m blushing.

    @ I will go now even as we speak and check out the clip. Thanks.

  210. 210
    JackieBinAZ says:

    @Francis: My ex in-laws are Francis and Frances. You can imagine the hilarity that ensued.

  211. 211
    stuckinred says:

    @dr. bloor: Predated Grenada, Panama and the first Gulf Cluster Fuck too. I thought about editing but figured it’s best to preserve original intent, specially since I was part of the “1”!

  212. 212
    theflax says:

    No. Not Francis. Francis is gone. Francis is gone forever.

  213. 213
  214. 214
    Joel says:

    @still liberal: something, something, something…

    All that gibberish that you’re spitting, you best had quit it
    your style is like dying in my sleep, i don’t feel it…

    Also, is it just me, or does <3 look like a gnome's testicles?

  215. 215
    Little Dreamer says:

    @Waynski:

    Sorry to break it to you, but there’s girls here too.

  216. 216
    SectarianSofa says:

    Hadn’t really noticed anything. I thought in fact that DougJ had started sounding more like Cole, a few months ago.
    Anyway, change is bound to be hard for some people, especially now that we have our first black front pager on Balloon-Juice.

  217. 217
    soonergrunt says:

    @debit: awesome.

  218. 218
    MattR says:

    @Darkmoth: Nice response. And I think that email is pretty indicative of the Republican mindset. They really seem to believe that it is a giant portion of the country that is getting hooked up with things like welfare or Medicaid.

  219. 219
    Bill Section 147 says:

    I would have said, “FVCK YOU! You fvcking fvcks!” I applaud your ability to shout so politely without sputtering and with so few expletives.

  220. 220
    LT says:

    I missed the “tone” thread (I’m totally sure it was a minor), but I don’t think it’s changed in the way the emailer says. It’s just changed. And, like always, sometimes it’s a wild fucking fistfight, mostly it’s not. And for those who come for the posts and not the threads – you don’t know what you’re missing. A+ fucking hilarity. I try not to cower at it, it’s so good.

    Edit: You see? this is what I’m taking about:

    SectarianSofa: “Anyway, change is bound to be hard for some people, especially now that we have our first black front pager on Balloon-Juice.”

  221. 221
    Brandon says:

    I’m confused. Does this mean that we all agreeing to disagree or only agreeing to dislike firebaggers and disagree about everything else? If there was a choice, I’d vote for the latter.

  222. 222
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @Darkmoth: Not to mention that in my mind, any one of the five best sentences that I will ever read would involve me spontaneously creaming my pants. And really, pedestrian wonkery does not turn me on.

  223. 223
    Craig says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Kind of reminds me of the movie “Talk Radio” where the talk show host yells at his listeners to go away and leave him alone. Truly awesome in a mind bending way.

  224. 224
    MattR says:

    @Face: The only way a 96 team tourney is remotely acceptable is if all the automatic bids get byes into the second round. Not that I would like the decision in any event, but at least it would be a bit more palatable.

  225. 225
    soonergrunt says:

    @Darkmoth: Ask your friend when he stopped being a Christian then.

  226. 226
    jl says:

    Cole should know by now that the recent nastiness is the kind of thing that happens unless we have enough pics of Lily and Tunch.

    When will he learn?

  227. 227
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @Darkmoth:

    You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

    How about this for a response: I agree with you that the SIVs and tranched CDOs so popular on Wall St. are an abomination in the eyes of God and Man, which can only be responded to with the severest possible regulation of the market for financial derivatives. Thank you for supporting these very necessary and overdue reforms.

  228. 228
    Face says:

    @MattR: That aint gunna happen. Top 8 seeds will get a bye, while 9-24 will play each other.

    Coupla things:
    1) who gets the 8 vs. 9 seed will become a HUGE deal, as its the line of demarcation between playing 6 games or 7 to win it all. Currently, nobody really cares if they’re a 8 or 9, since they play each other anyways.

    2) Automatic conference winners of the smaller conferences (Ivy, MEAC, etc) aren’t going to be seeded 8 or better. Never have been. I’m not sure how they can fix that and still consider the seeding process legitimate.

  229. 229
    El Cid says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:

    You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

    Not only can you, it’s what keeps the economy going. A billion dollars in the hands of a corporate investor does far less to promote economic growth than a billion dollars in the hands of low income consumers.

  230. 230
    Jager says:

    “Listen up people and listen good, I won’t ever step on your dicks, you fucking people will step on your own dicks and that’s a goddamned fact!”

    Sgt Bill Manley, DI, US Army Infantry, Ft Leonard Wood, June
    1968

  231. 231
    Duane says:

    @dr. bloor:

    now this is why i love this place…..

    that and

    STEELERS RULE!!!

    RAVENS SUCK

  232. 232
    RedKitten says:

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Now THERE’S the curmudgeon we all know and love!

    He didn’t tell us to DIAF, though, but hey…you can’t win ’em all! This was still refreshing, and still sorely needed (between blog drama and family drama, I’ve been ready to start adding tequila to my Frosted Flakes.)

    And Pooh! Where the fuck have you been, man?

  233. 233
    cleek says:

    You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

    a wonderful aphorism. how it applies to the current situation is a mystery.

    What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving

    it’s cute how “conservatives” think taxes just vanish into the aether. as if they think JDAMs, CIA black detention facilities, torture training camps and all the other things they love about the US government grow on trees.

    The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

    the government gives us safety from foreign invasion. from whom did they take this safety ?

    When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

    if we hit 50% unemployment, we’d be well past the “beginning of the end”.

    You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

    the existence of people who lend their own money for business investment proves otherwise.

  234. 234
    LarsThorwald says:

    I am now a reader for life.

  235. 235
    snarkypsice says:

    And that is why this is my favorite blog. <3!

    I love all the front-pagers, love John Cole and love the comments. Either I'm just really easy to please, or this place is awesome.

  236. 236
    soonergrunt says:

    @SectarianSofa: Anne Laurie is black?
    /clueless

  237. 237
    Sentient Puddle says:

    Y’know, if you really wanted to sum up the correct response to the five sentences, all you really need to say is that economics is not a zero-sum game.

  238. 238
    RedKitten says:

    When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

    That is complete and utter shite. Believe it or not, there are plenty of countries out there with robust social safety nets AND universal healthcare that are still ticking along quite nicely, thank you very much. And their citizens, in a bizarre twist of fate, still aspire to gainful employment and personal prosperity. Who coulda thunk it?

  239. 239
    BettyPageisaBlonde says:

    Snort. Chuckle. Guffaw.

  240. 240
    stuckinred says:

    @Sentient Puddle: No, it’s the dismal science.

  241. 241
    Fester Bestertester says:

    And this post is why I keep coming back here – I was laughing harder and harder while reading it. I love it when you’re angry, John.

  242. 242
    Comrade Scrutinizer says:

    Ah, shit. Wanna talk about how the tone of the Intertron declined? It all started in September, 1993…

  243. 243
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    So Bud Day, the man who disgraced his MoH by wearing it to McCain campaign rallies and even more despicably, in a Slow Boat ad smearing a Vietnam combat veteran, has endorsed Charlie Crist:

    “You know, we just got through (electing) a politician who can run his mouth at Mach 1, a black one, and now we have a Hispanic who can run his mouth at Mach 1,” Day said. “You look at their track records and they’re both pretty gritty. Charlie has not got a gritty track record.”

  244. 244
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    @Darkmoth:

    These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read.

    This is one of the things that amazes me. It is literally incomprehensible to wingnuts that liberalism could possibly consist of something other than seizing money from the rich and giving it to the jobless minorities. Like, they spend so much time attacking strawmen that if you explain your position on something, they just kinda squint and pause and bite there lip before saying “No it isn’t. You just hate rich people. And America.”

  245. 245
    Alice Blue says:

    Speaking of Aja–not only fantastic songs, but one of the best album covers EVAH!

  246. 246
    The Main Gauche of Mild Reason says:

    Black front-pager? I have not detected the presence of any Negro dialect! I call shenanigans.

  247. 247
    williamc says:

    @MattR:

    That’s what was so funny about The Long Hot Teatard Summer (whomever came up with this upthread, genius!, though I will also agree that Hepburn’s character in Suddenly, Last Summer is totally the forerunner to the teabaggers)…if there were Death Panels in the bill, wouldn’t they be a Republican idea? I hear from my libertarian friends all the time that the poor should be left to die if they aren’t going to work and that we should just get rid of the old and unproductive Logan’s Run style. Sounds like a death panel to me…

    @Darkmoth:
    The person who sent you this list is a mental invalid and doesn’t deserve to live in any place that is not a libertarian paradise (aka Somalia). Are you friends with them just to take advantage of their stupidity?

    Sentient Puddle:

    I concur. The best sentences ever should make me trip like on acid, make me hunger for food, or make me want to cum, not make me think that I just ran into a brain dead Russian-immigrant cult leader with daddy-issues who died a long time ago…

  248. 248
    Mister Colorful Analogy says:

    John, great post, but it’s a bit unfair to win your own thread. :)

    FWIW, I love the current mix of front pagers and most of the commenters. You’re all a bunch of smart, snarky, lovable, good-hearted curmudgeons (trolls excepted).

    B-J is in good shape. Carry on.

    MrCA

  249. 249
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @El Cid:
    I was told there would be no math.

    /snark

    OK, more seriously, I’m done trying to accomodate the views of people who freak out over a 3% increase in the top marginal tax rate. It’s time we went back to the rates of the Eisenhower era. 90% top marginal rate, assholes. You had your time to play let’s dress up and pretend it is the 1890s and it was all fun and games until you wrecked the economy. Too bad W pissed all over your precious legacy of Reagan proved deficits don’t matter (thanks Dick!), but that’s the breaks. Don’t like it, just leave already. Go Galt. I’m sure China will be happy to have you – just don’t piss off the wrong people over there or your family may end up paying for your bullet, ’cause that’s just how they roll.

  250. 250

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Please, just stop ramming your huge message down our throats, Cole!

  251. 251
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    Okay, I think I’ve figured out who Tunch gets his attitude from.

  252. 252
    MattR says:

    @Face: I agree with you. Not sure if the NCAA is gonna be able to get the smaller conferences to buy in (or get bullied into acceptance). I would guess that 28+ of the additional spots would go to major or mid-major conference teams.

    And the logistics of scheuling the extra games is not too easy either. Would they play them on Tuesday and Wednesday so that some teams are playing three times that first week (and some within 40 hours of the selection announcement)? And I am guessing that would hurt the ability of smaller conference temas to have their students/fans travel to the games.

  253. 253
    srv says:

    John, since you may have given up on the other thread, I think the suggestions to have an RSS feed by poster is the best idea I’ve heard in a long time.

    Tell us what’ll cost, we’ll come up with the dough. I’d ask cleek, but I’m sure I’m on his pie filter.

  254. 254
    Rick Taylor says:

    Most everyone here has probably already read this, but Digby, quoting Eric Boehlert, just about perfectly writes aboutwhat’s been on my mind the last couple weeks:
    __

    And yes, it’s been the rationalizing that’s been so disturbing to watch — the way the GOP Noise Machine fervently excused last week’s violent behavior and eagerly tried to shift the blame onto the victims of the intimidation, and then demanded to know what the big deal was.
    __
    I mean, who hasn’t had the line on a propane tank outside his house slashed by vandals? This stuff happens all the time, right? Didn’t scores of members of Congress, immediately following the vote in 2002 to authorize the invasion of Iraq, find their office windows shattered by flying bricks hurled under the cover of darkness by nasty anti-war libs? Didn’t they receive a steady stream of specific death threats and watch as relatives (and even their children) came under attack? Doesn’t this kind of harassment and intimidation come with the territory, and hasn’t it always been pushed out and legitimized by mainstream media outlets?

    __
    On some level, I can sympathize with wingers feeling despair at the passage of legislation they believe in their bone will be horrible for the country. I went through the same thing back during the invasion of Iraq. But by and large I don’t remember anti-war Democrats acting anywhere near as badly or immaturely as todays Republican party is now.
    __
    P.S.
    I found a link to Eric Boehlert’s original article; it’s all worth reading.

  255. 255
    Fester Bestertester says:

    And the comments, forgot the comments. Been laughing like an idiot for the last half hour. My boss is starting to get suspicious.

  256. 256
    scav says:

    @RedKitten: yup. Besides

    When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

    it all started going downhill round ’bout hereya when we legislated them there children out of the coal mines. Then again, what’s with all the insisting that the good wimmin be stayin home? There ain’t nothing more back-breaking and toilsome that sitting around waiting for the trust fund and dividend checks to arrive.

  257. 257
    Paula says:

    Rofflecopter.

    Glad I missed the navel-gazing.

  258. 258
    Shinobi says:

    Back in MY day there was only one auction house per faction and you got your mount at level 40!

    Oh wait…. wrong site.

  259. 259
    debit says:

    @The Main Gauche of Mild Reason: WHERE IS MY MOTHERFUCKING ICED TEA?

  260. 260
    cleek says:

    @srv:
    nope, you are not.

  261. 261
    soonergrunt says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: I’m sure Crist is just thilled as all hell to have locked up the Old Crazy Racist vote.

  262. 262

    Ah yes. In the spring, a young man’s fancy lightly turns to seeking ways to piss everybody off.

    Carry on.

  263. 263
    Citizen_X says:

    @Darkmoth: Along the same lines, you’ve probably seen a set of similar aphorisms attributed to Lincoln, stuff like “You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich,” “You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer,” etc. It’s not from Lincoln, though, it’s from a minister who was director of a proto-Randian group called the Citizen’s Industrial Alliance in the early 20th century. (Surprise, surprise.)

    On the left side of the Lincoln Distortion Field, the quote about “corporations have been enthroned, and an era of corruption in high places will follow…until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands, and the Republic is destroyed” is falsely attributed to him, too.

  264. 264
    ruemara says:

    That’s better. Love you too.

  265. 265
    Little Dreamer says:

    @soonergrunt:

    Crist is not pure enough for the Freepers, whatever shall they do?

    P.S. – I left you an employment tip on the other thread

  266. 266
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @soonergrunt:

    Well I was going to make a snarky comment about Florida demographics, but am trying to elevate my tone.

  267. 267
    Short Bus Bully says:

    High colonics for EVERYONE in the blogosphere!

  268. 268
    Svensker says:

    All you people sucking Cole’s toes make me physically ill. First Cole says that you’re all too mean and you’re all like “oooh, we’re sorry, but that other guy made me do it, Mr. Cole”. And then he says you’re all dorks and you’re all like “oooh, beat me again Mr. Cole.” Have you, at long last, no pride? No decency?

    Seriously. This is the Final Straw. I AM LEAVING. (At least until 3:30 when I get back from the post office. Don’t have any fun without me!)

  269. 269
    Little Dreamer says:

    @Citizen_X:
    __

    It’s not from Lincoln, though, it’s from a minister who…

    Those preachers understand prosperity, I hear.

  270. 270
    Sebastian says:

    Psycho: The name’s Francis Soyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.
    Leon: Ooooooh.
    Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. And I don’t like nobody touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. Also, I don’t like nobody touching me. Now, any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.
    Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

  271. 271
    Woodbuster says:

    “Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.”

    Jumpin’ Jeebus, Cole – was it something I said?*

    [This comment is not official until such time as it has met with the approval of BTD, JustSomeFuckhead and Glenn Greenwald (is shrill)]

  272. 272
    RedKitten says:

    @Svensker:

    All you people sucking Cole’s toes make me physically ill

    Thanks for the visual.

    Asshole.

  273. 273
    IndieTarheel says:

    Screw the tone, you can all go to hell.
    __
    Dare I suggest that this be added to the banner rotation? You know, just because?

  274. 274
    Citizen_X says:

    @Little Dreamer: Hey! They work hard for their welfare!

  275. 275
    Hugh says:

    When did John McCain take over John Cole’s blog?

  276. 276
    danimal says:

    Don’t have much to say, but I’ll say it anyway so that we get closer to a thousand comments.

    You all are a bunch of arrogant asses, the uncivil tone around here is really upsetting and if you don’t agree with me, you can DIAF. IOW, all is well in BJ land.

    And Glenzilla is an ass, even if he was provoked by Arkon DougJ.

    Cole, your comments were brilliant. Also, too.

  277. 277
    licensed to kill time says:

    I love it when John Cole tells everybody to go to hell.

    Old Man Cole was a curmudgeonly old soul
    a curmudgeon of a soul was he
    and he called for his pipe and he called for a bowl
    and he called minions jackassery

  278. 278
    Athenae says:

    I really do think we need a blogtopia-wide contest to see who has the stupidest trolls. I was doing pretty good until this week when all of mine showed up at once and people laid out a buffet.

    A.

  279. 279
    soonergrunt says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: I’ve been glancing at the comment thread on the newspaper there. The crazy racists (teabaggers to everyone else) are at each others’ throats over this race. Good times.

    I love all of the attempts to stifle the discussion of the fact that the crazy racist guy is a crazy racist guy: “Col. Day is an American Hero and has earned to right to express his opinion, more stuff that sounds like a disavowel but really isn’t.”
    Then there’s the one from the Rubio camp: “Col. Day is an American Hero and can express his opinion like anyone else, and more stuff that sounds like a complaint but really isn’t.”
    There’s only one person on there that I’ve seen who is saying that “Col. Day is an American Hero which has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a crazy racist person who’s opinion about politics has less to do with being a hero and more to do with being a crazy racist person.”

  280. 280

    @El Cid: or maybe the long, dark tea-tard of the soul?

  281. 281
    soonergrunt says:

    @Little Dreamer: CIA–they’d expect me to work for a living. Bastards. I’m going to get a job for the government doing nothing of value. That’s right bitches, Senate Staff from Oklahoma here I come!

  282. 282
    daryljfontaine says:

    @Svensker:

    All you people sucking Cole’s toes make me physically ill.

    Hey, since he smashed up his shoulder it’s hard for him to suck his own toes. I understand there’s a rotation.

    There is some weapons-grade snark in this thread that reminds me why I love this place. If you wanted to be told to DIAF, you need to buy the merchandise!

    The rapid turnaround from navel-gazing to “fuck all y’all” reminds me of those days when Cole said he needed to step away from the blog for a weekend, and then we got seven new posts from him over the next two hours.

    D

  283. 283

    Spot on, Cole! You got the message. Thank you!

  284. 284
    Svensker says:

    @RedKitten:

    Thanks for the visual.
    Asshole.

    Oh yeah? When I get back from the post office I am going to say something Really Mean and Clever and you will be Sorry. Wait for it. (A credenza may be involved, be warned.)

  285. 285
    lurkergirl says:

    @Darkmoth: at least they’re not trying to claim it’s something George Carlin said.

    I skipped the ‘has the tone changed’ post because I don’t come here for the tone. Temper tantrums, pet pics, music chat, anarchic comment threads…hells yeah. Click somewhere else if it offends your delicate sensibilities.

    Arkon DougJ is just fine in my books, as are your other front pagers. BTW, who the hell pissed in Greenwald’s cornflakes the other day? I love his blog, but that was just nuts.

  286. 286
    tisalaska says:

    Geez how many back seat drivers can you get in here. Quit pissin on the playground. Dont like the post then as they said in the old days..”turn the damn page”..how lame John had to feel he even needed to address this..

  287. 287
    different church-lady says:

    I want to see “Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.” as one of the rotating banner subtitles!!!! GIMMIE!!!!!

  288. 288
    Tsulagi says:

    @soonergrunt:

    That’s right bitches, Senate Staff from Oklahoma here I come!

    Senate staff? From red state Oklahoma? You sure? You know you’d have to start as an intern on C-Street for training, right? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. “Suck it up” and “drive on” could take on whole new meanings there. j/k

  289. 289
    David in NY says:

    @MattR:

    Oops, did miss that — didn’t get the hint what it was.

  290. 290
    PaulW says:

    Care bear stare ACTIVATE!

  291. 291
    Cain says:

    The post reminds me of a quote by reputedly by Gene Simmons/KISS back in the 80s or something when concern trolledhim regarding the pyrotechnics in the concert:

    “Concerned about the environment?! FUCK the environment! We ARE the environment!”

    The Tongue man is right!

    cain

  292. 292
  293. 293
    Libby says:

    Oh drat! I missed the f#uck you jackass thread? Well, bite me Cole, and the rest of you haters too. AND stay offa my lawn. xxL

  294. 294
    D-Chance. says:

    Shorter John Cole:

    “So, what do you think?”

    /covers ears

    “I’M NOT LISTENEHHHHHHNG!”

    Jayzus, what a crybaby… maybe Greeny was right, after all.

  295. 295
    Mac G says:

    This is why I check this site multiple times a day. You are the man, dear leader.

  296. 296
    Little Dreamer says:

    @soonergrunt:

    Ah, I see… so the fact is, you’re not really a “grunt” at all.

    Gotcha!

    ;)

  297. 297
    tim says:

    Ahhh…the old JC grumpy old man schtick, for which the earlier “tone” post was the likely set up. But you gots lots of hits, so what the hey…

    Your front pagers suck, Cole. And bj has become more of an online cult than a happening blog.

    Folks like me, of which I think there are many, will lurk less and less often as you move to Americablog levels of irrelevancy.

    You coulda been a contendah…

  298. 298
    scav says:

    @D-Chance.: And the bipartisanship bullshit reappears. He apparently listened enough to at least hit the highlights of a thread and just isn’t kowtowing to your whatevethehellitis you want. Now DROP! and kick those feet up and down. Harder! Tantrums just won’t flail themselves.

  299. 299
    Waynski says:

    @Little Dreamer: It was a quote from the movie. Should have made that clearer.

  300. 300
    soonergrunt says:

    @Tsulagi: Well, that would be just like the whipping boy thing from the other thread, wouldn’t it?

  301. 301
    Michael D. says:

    More Michael D.!!

  302. 302
    pcbedamned says:

    Yep. Sometimes you need a good fall on the ass to put things back in perspective!!!

    Welcome back Johnny…

  303. 303
    Darkmoth says:

    Some great comments on that chainmail, sorry I missed ’em (Doctor’s appointment).

    @williamc:

    You know, I actually like the guy, which surprises even me. Perhaps it’s that I regard his wing-nuttiness as a sort of facial tic that one ignores.

  304. 304
    tim says:

    oh oh oh…and I second whomever it was upthread who mentioned that CLOSETS are not intellectualy nourishing, and this is a factor on this blog.

    But I guess it does make it all more interesting from a anthropological angle…

  305. 305
    Michael D. says:

    @flukebucket:

    ut hell I liked Michael D. I can remember how my asshole puckered up when he started a post by saying, “I was reading an article over at Reason magazine…..”

    Now, I don’t remember all the crap I wrote here, but I don’t think I ever did this. :-)

  306. 306
    ellie says:

    Awesome! I love being yelled at by random strangers on the internet. Give us hell John!

  307. 307
    soonergrunt says:

    @Little Dreamer: Well, that would depend on exactly what you’re looking for.
    ;)

  308. 308
    Cris says:

    Seems like the sentiment behind those five sentences can also be used to discourage charitable giving.

  309. 309
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @Michael D.: At this point, I’m missin ya.

  310. 310
    glynor says:

    Ha ha. Epic. Thanks, John.

    FWIW, I don’t comment often, but I love it here and I like all of your front pagers, almost as much as pie.

  311. 311
    slag says:

    @tim: I don’t know what you have, but I certainly hope I never catch it.

  312. 312
    licensed to kill time says:

    Hey, James Wolcott gave a hat tip to John Cole on the teabonics post:

    Behold the literacy levels of those sons and daughters of liberty Norman Podhoretz welcomes as earthy antidotes to Arid Extra-Dry elitists. (tip of the beret: John Cole, Balloon Juice)
    __
    Lionel Trilling would be so proud.

    ETA- oops, blockquote fail

  313. 313
    Eric S. says:

    @Lee:

    Fewer sciencey posts from Tim F. (I figured I was in the minority of readers enjoying reading about something I could barely understand).

    Nope. I miss those as well.

  314. 314
    JGabriel says:

    Damn. I slept through all of this.

    .

  315. 315
    Punchy says:

    @Michael D.: I just remember the mistake you made advocating for the flat tax. WOW was that a one-way flame war.

  316. 316
  317. 317
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    Jackasses? I reject this attack on ungulates.

    Pull my hoof.

  318. 318
    Gina says:

    Much better. Won’t suck toes, but sending a sloppy wet internet tongue kiss to John for snapping out of emo mode.

  319. 319
    JGabriel says:

    @Comrade Scrutinizer:

    Wanna talk about how the tone of the Intertron declined? It all started in September, 1993…

    Only 4 months after I got my first internet account.

    COINCIDENCE?

    Or … NOT?

    .

  320. 320
    Felonious Wench says:

    My delicate virgin ears are ringing after this post. I am offended and hurt to be called such things.

    I fucking love you, John Cole.

  321. 321
    RedKitten says:

    @tim:

    Folks like me, of which I think there are many, will lurk less and less often as you move to Americablog levels of irrelevancy.

    Well, we’ll miss you. We really will. After all, you contribute so much to the discussions around here.

  322. 322
    Liz says:

    @stuckinred:

    well, no. Just Ace. :)

  323. 323
    flukebucket says:

    @Michael D.:

    You took a lickin’ and kept on tickin’ man. I always admired the hell out of you for it.

  324. 324
    Felonious Wench says:

    @psycholinguist:

    Don’t know, maybe there is some critical mass of readers that you hit in terms of #’s and demographics where everything works, and then you become a victim of your own success cause all the dumbasses show up for the party.

    Have you SEEN what happens here when a dumbass shows up for the party? It’s like velociraptors on the hunt, man.

  325. 325
    Lisa says:

    Balloon Juice! Fuck yeah!

    I love this place deeply. I am a regular reader and a semi-spottyish poster. I send much love to each and every snarky and clever regular commenter, every concern-troll, every wingnut-troll, and every contributor here. Please don’t ever change, motherfuckers.

  326. 326
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @Darkmoth:

    When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get

    Yeah, sure. Another way to say this is “When the losers who get sick get the idea that the people smart enough to stay healthy are going to pay for their care …..”

    That’s what health insurance is really about, right? Taking from the health rich and giving to the health poor?

    And car insurance …. taking from the people smart enough to avoid being rear ended and giving to the losers who get in the way of the rear-enders. And no, that’s not a sexual joke.

    Darkmoth, you win the Fail of the Day award for saying the stupidest thing on the blog.

  327. 327
    Nethead Jay says:

    @tim: Dude, are you trying for some sort of Epitome of Concern Trolling prize here? For some reason, I think the place will survive without your contributions…

  328. 328

    @AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat:

    Darkmoth, you win the Fail of the Day award for saying the stupidest thing on the blog.

    Umm, quoting and mocking?

    Which award do you win?

  329. 329
    geg6 says:

    @AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat:

    Darkmoth, you win the Fail of the Day award for saying the stupidest thing on the blog.

    Darlin’, you might need to get checked for hoof in mouth disease. Cuz poor Darkmoth was just quoting an email some Teabagger sent him.

    It’s the damn idiocy of trying to blockquote on WP. I think I can speak for Darkmoth here when I say FYWP.

  330. 330
    Sator Arepo says:

    Is…is it okay to swear in here?

    No?

    Fuck.

  331. 331
    Lisa says:

    LMAO @ 326!

    Yeah he is really slathering on the Troll-Butter really thick.

    Mmmm tasty.

  332. 332
  333. 333
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @lurkergirl:

    who the hell pissed in Greenwald’s cornflakes the other day? I love his blog, but that was just nuts.

    I think Glenn Greenwald chooses to buy piss-flavored cornflakes.

  334. 334
    Lisa says:

    Darkmoth, you should submit that to “MyRightWingDad.com” because that is freaking awesome. I am sure I will be getting one of those “pearls of wisdom” emailed to me soon. I have some old schoolmates who I adore, but are now wingtacular wingnuts out in Orange County in Cali. The problem with the OC is they are rich, wingnutty, stupid (I know, wingnutty and stupid are redundant), and have lots of time on their hands. A deadly combination. They cook up bullshit that wouldn’t even make the cutting room floor at Readers Digest and send that shit out to their Freeper buddies. Someone adds animated flags, and then by golly you got yourself a wingnut meme.

    Good times.

  335. 335
    FlipYrWhig says:

    @Darkmoth: That email really is the Rosetta Stone to the wingnut psyche. The fundamental worry is that there are millions of people out there living a cushy life by mooching off your money.

  336. 336
    MNPundit says:

    Dear mistermix, you are a total absolute fucking moron and have largely shown yourself as such since the first post.

    That’s what I got to say today.

  337. 337
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @geg6:

    Oh oh, I must have done the Incorrect Attribution thing.

    Okay, I am too lazy to look up the real genius who wrote the blurb. Whoever it is wins the Fail award.

    Sorry. Pull my hoof.

  338. 338
    Lisa says:

    @335: Damn, son.

  339. 339
    geg6 says:

    @MNPundit:

    Well, obviously you’d know all about morons.

  340. 340
    MNPundit says:

    @geg6: You’ve taught me so much buddy. So much.

    @Lisa: It was the post about how No One Looks at Internet Ads. which was so breathtakingly devoid of facts and overflowing with stupid I still smell whiffs of that clusterfuck on the front page to this day.

  341. 341
    RareSanity says:

    Late to the party…and what a party!!

    Can you smell what The Cole is cookin’?(exclamation points)

    I was nose deep in a project yesterday so I missed all of the shenanigans, miss a day, miss a lot.

    Sound like just about everyone got thrown under one bus or another, glad things are back to normal today…

    Poopie Heads!

  342. 342
    shortstop says:

    Is it wrong to get all tingly in my secret girl parts when Cole talks like this?

  343. 343
    Tim (The Oher One) says:

    I’ve been going between both these posts, reading all the comments.

    This is still my favorite blog since roughly 2005. I always “save it for last” and check in a few times a day.

    I come for the Cole posts, the pet pictures, and the comment section. I have several favorite commenters but if I point them out it will just go to their heads.

    I don’t really focus on the other posters but I read them and check comments according to my level of interest in the subject matter.

    mistermix isn’t killing me but that’s not his problem

    I think the tone issue has been addressed accurately by a number of people from many perspectives and I can’t think of anything better to add.

    That is all.Carry on.

  344. 344
    Winston Smith says:

    The king is a fink.

  345. 345
    Michael D. says:

    @Punchy:

    I just remember the mistake you made advocating for the flat tax. WOW was that a one-way flame war.

    Never have I done so. That’s Andrew Sullivan and Steve Forbes. I’m for eliminating the Income Tax and replacing it with a consumption tax.

    The biggest mistake I made here – and continue to do – is disagreeing with you people on anything. John is right. You’re all fucking pricks.

    And proudly so, I’m guessing!!

  346. 346
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @shortstop:

    Girls have secret parts? You humans are so weird.

    Udderly. I mean it.

  347. 347
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @Michael D.:

    There are two teams here. The Pricks, and the WATBs.

    Pick a side, and wear your helmets.

    Prick Pride, bitches!

  348. 348
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @Short Bus Bully:

    Thanks. In my herd, colic and impaction are a big concern.

  349. 349
    soonergrunt says:

    @tim: good bye! Have fun!
    Don’t forget, Russian Roulette is best played with an automatic pistol.

  350. 350
    Nethead Jay says:

    @Lisa: Why thank you! To return the compliment, your comment @ 324 is damn good and pretty much my attitude too.

  351. 351

    I don’t think you people realize what a pain in the ass you all are and how hard it is to get this many random anonymous people to play somewhat nice together. Screw the tone, you can all go to hell. Jackasses.

    Whew! For minute there after that email post this morning, I thought we were in trouble.

  352. 352
    Carnacki says:

    I have a much smaller blog at West Virginia Blue, but every so often I want to post something like this.

  353. 353
    Triassic Sands says:

    The other half of you launch personal attacks at my front pagers, all of whom I think do a great job and who I like (and you people step back on DougJ).

    And I immediately thought of Roger Ailes defending Glenn Beck. Sweet.

    Said Ailes:

    “We prefer people in the tent not dumping on other people in the tent,” he added.

  354. 354
    AngusJackBootedThugOfMeat says:

    @Michael D.:

    Let me tell you how bad an idea “consumption tax” is.

    If it meant taxing people with tuberculosis, it would make more sense.

    Nobody in their right mind or who isn’t rich can be in favor of a tax scheme based on consumption and not on income.

    Just fucking nuts.

    And when you floated this, I don’t recall that you made coherent and specific arguments for it, despite the mountain of specific and technical objections to it. Even at best, it would just be a grand experiment that has not been tried in this country.

  355. 355
  356. 356
    Elie says:

    @Ash Can:

    This…this…

    Im wid dis

  357. 357
  358. 358
    LanceThruster says:

    Goth Kid: I guess you can join up with us if you want.
    Goth Kid 2: Yeah. We’re gonna go to the graveyard and write poems about death and how pointless life is.
    Butters: Uh, uhm no thanks. I love life.
    Stan: Huh? But you just got dumped.
    Butters: Well yeah, and I’m sad, but at the same time I’m really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It’s like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin’ really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I’m feelin’ is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.
    Goth Kid 2: Yeah.
    Stan: No. No, Butters, that doesn’t sound stupid at all.
    Butters: Well, thanks for offering to let me in your clique, guys, but, to be honest, I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy Goth kid.

  359. 359
    Annie says:

    He loves us….He really loves us…..

  360. 360
    CynDee says:

    @still liberal: Watch your tone, Francis, because TUNCH IS WATCHING YOU.

    And he knows where you live.

  361. 361
    metricpenny says:

    Dang Cole. What happened? Jake Tapper cancelled your date anyway?

    /snark

  362. 362
    veralynn says:

    Ha! That is why I come here….I love this site.

  363. 363
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    John, flattery will get you everywhere with this crowd. Nice recovery though I am wondering how you are going to top the two posts relating to this ‘issue’. It’s all about blog hits with you, isn’t it!

    Your poor advertisers, I pity the fools.

    @low-tech cyclist:

    It’s fif-teen miles uphill all the way there and back, most of it through blinding blizzards.

    That last step on the way home is a big one.

  364. 364
    Colette says:

    @Darkmoth: To be fair (something in which I normally have not the slightest interest), the idea that life, the universe, and everything are a zero-sum game is not confined to the right wing. I have wasted many hours of my life I will never get back arguing about that very point with my dyed-in-the-wool Marxist stepbrother-in-law. He truly believes that there has been no value added to the global economy since ever, and that every gain for anyone necessarily involves an equal loss for someone else. Economics. Fail.

    And yes, he lives off his trust fund.

Comments are closed.