Bad enough the Discovery channel gorped the BBC’s “Life” by replacing David Attenborough with Oprah Winfrey for fear of the creationists, but now they’ve completely destroyed their remaining shreds of credibility. Ken Layne at Wonkette explains:
All Sarah Palin ever wanted to be in her whole life was a teevee host. This is Documented Fact, and the whole “politics” thing simply grew out of her failure to get a full-time spot on the local news in Anchorage. It didn’t work out, of course, because Sarah Palin was too dumb and untalented for the local news in Anchorage.
And so she became mayor of a gravel pit behind a strip mall and next thing you know John “I will literally try fucking anything at this point” McCain went ahead and chose her as the GOP candidate for Vice President of the United States of America, in 2008. And then, that same day, the entire global financial system collapsed. It still hasn’t recovered! But she has. Sarah Palin always recovers, because she has her Eye on the Prize, and that Prize is whatever they call the basic cable version of a Daytime Emmy.
Anyway now she’s got a deal to make a Discovery Channel show about Alaska, land of helicopter hunting and tattoo parlors. Majestic! It will air once a year or whenever she decides to show up for work, before the “History’s scariest UFO drawings” program and right after the one about the mysteries of pizza — apparently, it is made of different “foods” that are “cooked” before the weird middle-aged guy with a balding ponytail and a limp delivers it to you in a cardboard box covered in logos. THE END.
Bring on the Brawndo(tm) ads! It’s what plants, and the Doughy Pantload, crave!