Have a Happy New Year, or the Hairless Monkey and His Little Rat Dog Get It


You have your orders. Have a Happy New Year. My life depends on it.

Also, since we did not vote on comments of the year this year (some idiot forgot to run the poll), I am using my near dictatorial powers to choose the top three.

The bronze goes to Cbear:

Yeah, this Michael Jackson coverage is way over the top.

You’d think we lost Tim Russert or something.

The silver goes to Beltane:

The modern conservative movement is a glorified quest to reach the absolute zero of humanity. Already, the true believers have largely lost the ability to communicate in standard English. Another turn of the spiral will find them unable to perform simple functions such as driving (traffic signs are kind of communist if you think about it) and preparing food (that lettuce was picked by Mexicans and lord knows what they’ve done to it).

The teabagger protests of the future will feature partially clothed, excrement covered fat people shrieking incomprehensible gibberish. It will be the Woodstock of the damned.

And the comment of the year goes to… Xecky Gilchrist:

Seriously, the Republican nomination race in ‘08 was a metaphorical lineup of oiled posers at Venice Beach flexing for the lunatics passing by.

Honorable mention goes to AKADad for offering this up two hours after Michael Jackson died:

I heard Michael Jackson is to be cremated and have his ashes spread out into sandboxes, so children can still play with him.

Too soon?

Thanks for playing.

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215 replies
  1. 1

    First. And a happy new year to you too. Sleep with one eye open.

    ETA: New Year’s Resolution: Balloon Juice t-shirts. Maybe a Tunch special. (AsiangrrlMN will be so pissed she missed this Tunch thread)

    ETA II: Smudge is looking menacing too. I’m going to a colleagues’ house in a little. Y’all behave.

  2. 2
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Charlie haz a sad and demands a recount!!

  3. 3
    John Cole says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: I swear, every picture of Charlie reminds me of our old Jack Russell terrier named Russell. Charlie has people eyes. He knows what you are saying.

  4. 4
    NickM says:

    Woodstock of the Damned. That’s good.

  5. 5
    slag says:

    Just to clarify since my monitor settings are a little dim: Is that a picture of Tunch or the Himalayas?

  6. 6

    Setup: It’s funny to watch Tunch fly into the air playing with her little catnip mouse toy.

    (Punchline to obligatory Tunch joke goes here)

  7. 7
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @John Cole:

    It is really freeky how smart this little dog is. And is so obedient, to spoken word, and even just a look or hand gesture.

  8. 8

    Slag, if you’d only waited a few more hours, you’d have been eligible for next year’s compendium. This year’s is closed, sadly.

    ETA: Above, that should have read, it’s funny to watch *smudge* jump through the air …
    (screw up my own jokes – yeesh)

  9. 9
    beltane says:

    OMG! OMG! I won something!!!! I think I will have to jump up and down like a Price Is Right contestant.

    This cheered me up because I am home sick while the whole family (except the animals) is out at a party. Thank you. And may you all have a very happy New Year.

  10. 10
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    I shelled out 20 bucks for District 9 today, It better be good with some highly creepy aliens, per advertised.

  11. 11
    Incertus says:

    Happy New Years everyone. We’re doing a li e reenactment of 200 Cigarettes tonight, but there’s no chance Elvis Costello will show up.

  12. 12
    Violet says:

    I thought that was a balloon with Tunch’s face on it. That cat has heft!

    Congrats to the comments awards winners. The Michael Jackson comment cracks me up every time. It’s never too soon for that.

  13. 13
    beltane says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Isn’t Tunch a boy? I always feel embarrassed for my butch looking male cat whenever someone calls him a she.

  14. 14
    Demo Woman says:

    Happy New Year R-Jud!
    I’m listening to Johnny Mathis on the local PBS station. As a young tot, I had a huge crush on him and then when I was older I discovered that it would never be reciprocated. Oh well!

    This site makes me laugh. Congrats to the winners.

  15. 15
    slag says:

    @arguingwithsignposts: Bummer. It seemed like such an obvious one that I just couldn’t risk someone else getting there first. Seriously. Squint a little and that picture could easily be of the Himalayas.

  16. 16
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Oh, and Happy New year Balloon Juicers. A special albeit odd assortment of characters, none more odd than moi”.

    The last decade can kiss my goodbye with a big cheesy suck on this to George Bush , Dick Cheney and all the other blood sucking motherfuckers they run with.

  17. 17
    Mnemosyne says:

    Oh, is this the thread where we post new pet pictures? Okay, then.

    I have no idea why Charlotte loves garbage cans so, but we can’t keep her out of them.

  18. 18
    Keith G says:

    Tunch reminds me of Mrs. Holloway, my second grade teacher – large and with a glare that could melt granite.

    Does Tunch walk with a cane?

  19. 19
    General Winfield Stuck says:


    Terrific photo of such a cutie!!

  20. 20
    John O says:

    Tunch could be mistaken for Yeti in that picture.

    The smug content fat bastard cracks me up.

  21. 21
    Demo Woman says:

    @Keith G: It starts already. I hope that Laura is close by.

  22. 22
    John Cole says:

    @Mnemosyne: Is it just me, or does it look like your cats legs are all in the wrong places?

    Also, feed that poor starving kitty. What will happen in the apocalypse? She will not last a day, unlike Tunch.

  23. 23
    Violet says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:
    Charlie is so photogenic. I love this pic of him. I can almost feel the wind whooshing by him!

  24. 24
    John O says:

    Despite liking their uniforms, their stadium, and their whole general thing I have an irrational dislike of TN football when I’m watching them play.

    Go, Hokies. Looks like a blowout, which is good with me.

  25. 25
    slag says:

    @beltane: That comment was fairly genius. Well-deserved.

  26. 26
    Shell says:

    Yes, Happy New Year to all here! Snowy/sleety here in NJ. Gonna watch the Time Square ball drop in my PJ’s and fleecy socks.

    How can a cat that looks like a huge whipped meringue, still seem so menacing?

  27. 27
    Violet says:

    Fantastic photo! It looks like she’s in a tunnel. She’s a cutie!

  28. 28
    Demo Woman says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: I’m drinking a toast to the health of Scalia, Thomas, and Kennedy. Rehnquist and O’Connor are no longer part of the court but I still hold them responsible.

  29. 29
    John O says:

    John, I have the strange impression that post-apocalypse the Tunchster will find you food and women.

  30. 30
    John Cole says:

    @Violet: INTENSITY! I HAS IT!

  31. 31
    Demo Woman says:

    @beltane: Stephen King could use the Woodstock of the Damned as a book title.

  32. 32
    beltane says:

    Sully just signed off on 2009 with a somewhat blurry picture of his beagles. That was very spirit of the moment for him.

  33. 33
    John Cole says:

    How can a cat that looks like a huge whipped meringue, still seem so menacing?

    The dirty secret is that he just photographs mean. He actually is a super sweet cat. He was kneading his paws and purring in that picture, but he just looks angry. I have no idea why he always looks that way, but he does. Earlier in the evening, he was asleep on the arm of my chair purring and Lily was on my lap snoring and barking in her sleep (which is a whole new level of cute, btw).

  34. 34
    MattR says:

    Did someone say pet pics?

    Have a safe and happy new year everyone.

  35. 35
    Anne Laurie says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: Poor Charlie! Should’ve saved that shot for tomorrow afternoon; there’s gotta be a few BJ regulars that still celebrate on Amateur’s Night…

  36. 36
    AkaDad says:

    This is the first time anyone has mentioned my name and the word honorable in the same sentence.

  37. 37
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    If there has lived a more Regal Cat than the Tunchster, I haven’t seen it. He just oozes authority, along with fashionable disdain.

  38. 38
    Violet says:

    @John Cole:
    I wonder what he’s going after? He’ll get it, for sure.

  39. 39
    r€nato says:

    happy gnu ears, y’all.

  40. 40
    Cat Lady says:


    I nominated you! When you made that comment I had been steadily unemployed for 9 solid months and in the depths of despair. During that season of the Hoot-Smalley Teatard Parade of Misspelled Signs, thinking Woodstock of the Damned made me laugh. every. time.

  41. 41
    Phyllis says:

    Despite liking their uniforms, their stadium, and their whole general thing I have an irrational dislike of TN football when I’m watching them play.

    Go, Hokies. Looks like a blowout, which is good with me.

    My SO is a TN fan. He’s already +3, and his coaching from sofa technique doesn’t seem to be working too well.

  42. 42
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    He is worn out. Went for long walk this afternoon, whereupon he marked every thing in his path, then pawing dirt to show his toughness to any fellow canines that might be watching.

  43. 43
    eastriver says:

    Puppehs and kittehs. Hairy New Years.

  44. 44
    Violet says:

    @John Cole:

    Lily was on my lap snoring and barking in her sleep (which is a whole new level of cute, btw).

    Ohhhh! So cute sounding it makes me teeth ache. How’s Lily’s barking these days? I remember you were worried at first she wouldn’t bark, but then she did. Does she bark much?

    Tunch definitely photographs mean. He kind of scares me. I get the impression he’d like to reach through my screen and smack me with his paw.

  45. 45
    Mr Furious says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: DVD rentals…you should try ’em some time.

    Serious question: Do you regularly buy movies sight unseen?

    In the heyday of my DVD-buying binge when they first were coming out I bought “Hoosiers” never-having-seen-it, but I couldn’t find a rental copy anywhere.

    Still haven’t watched it.

  46. 46
    MikeJ says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    there’s gotta be a few BJ regulars that still celebrate on Amateur’s Night…

    Just put my leek bread pudding from Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc at Home in the oven and mixed myself a Manhattan. When I was standing in line to go in the liquor store all I could think was, “thank gopod I don’t have to be out on the road with all those morons tonight.”

    The leek pudding is the third recipe I will have made from that cookbook. I intend to cook every last thing in it, even if that isn’t quite the achievement that French Laundry Cookbook would be.

  47. 47
    Corner Stone says:

    I just don’t get the point.

  48. 48
    demkat620 says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: I thought District 9 was really, really good.

    I think you will enjoy it.

  49. 49
    John O says:

    @Mr Furious:

    Hoosiers is a great movie, though for some reason I recently went out and checked out the movie vs. reality, and they took a lot of liberties.

  50. 50

    @Violet: I don’t know, that kind of looks like Toto after the witch says, “and your little dog, too.” Run, Toto, run!

  51. 51
    Violet says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:
    LOL. I was picturing him in a superhero cape. But Wizard of Oz works too.

  52. 52
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Mr Furious:

    I rarely do buy DVD’s period. Only classics or certain movies I really like that I know watching them again will be worthwhile.

    I was going to buy “Body of Lies” that I really liked for 13 bucks, but bought this one on pure and rare impulse on the way to the check out counter.

  53. 53
    Corner Stone says:

    @Mr Furious: Hoosiers is really good. Just don’t too much after-analysis.

  54. 54
    beltane says:

    @Cat Lady: With their polyester Revolutionary War costumes and teabag festooned hats, the teabaggers had a definite counterculture vibe going. However, a counterculture movement made up of old, pasty, overweight white people who are not on drugs has a very limited appeal. I kept thinking that these were the people who did not do much rebelling when they were young, and so they never learned to do it right.

  55. 55
    Nazgul35 says:

    Quick…someone throw a bikini on Carrie Fisher and bring her to Tunch!

  56. 56
    Demo Woman says:

    @MattR: How comfy he looks.

  57. 57
    John O says:


    That got a good laugh out of me.

  58. 58
    General Winfield Stuck says:


    Thanks for the thumbs up. When I picked it up, I saw that Peter Jackson produced it, so I figured it would be good. And a good syfy alien pic has to be really really bad for me not to like it.

  59. 59
    Roza says:

    Tunch in repose… the best eva

    Happy New Year y’all

  60. 60
  61. 61

    @John Cole: Got sidetracked for a moment with Stuck’s dog, but wanted to say that is one fine looking cat. His fur looks so soft you just want to fluff him (which I’m sure he’d object to strenuously).

  62. 62
    Anne Laurie says:

    @MikeJ: Speaking of which, anybody got a recipe for roasted brussels sprouts?

    I can’t find the one I’d been saving, since I can only cook cruciform vegetables when the Spousal Unit is going to be away from home for at least 48 hours afterwards.

  63. 63
    Laura W says:

    @AkaDad: You have me to blame for that.
    You’re welcome.

  64. 64
    CMcD says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Agreed, I saw “Hoosiers” again last week, and it’s still great. I just wish there was a way to re-cut it w/o the 80’s sounding score.

  65. 65
    JGabriel says:


    The teabagger protests of the future will feature partially clothed, excrement covered fat people shrieking incomprehensible gibberish. It will be the Woodstock of the damned.

    What “future”? The first sentence is a perfect description of Jonah Goldberg, and the second a pretty accurate summary of The Corner or any teabagger protest.

    I mean, the “future” is looking an awful lot like the present.


  66. 66
    jeffreyw says:

    @Mnemosyne: oooh…nice pic

  67. 67

    @Anne Laurie: I’m with your spouse on that one.

  68. 68
    Mr Furious says:

    This week my wife and kids are out of town, so between household chores, I’m catching up on movies no one else in the wants to (or can) watch.

    Star Trek the other night, thought it was a blast.

    Dark Knight tonight — cannot wait. It should be noted, Gen Stuck, that for the brief period that I couldn’t find Dark Knight (bumped to the regular section) District 9 was my back-up.

    Watchmen is in the hole

    I might wedge Hoosiers in if i can.

  69. 69
    demkat620 says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: You are most welcome Stuck. Our local Blockbuster is closing so, very soon the only place I will have to rent movies will be On Demand from Comcrap.

    I may need to investigate this Netflix thingy you kids keeping talking about. Is it complicated?

  70. 70
    Corner Stone says:

    Oh, and Capt Picard is the superior officer.

  71. 71
    MMM says:

    2010 – serenity now

  72. 72
    MTmofo says:

    Happy New Year’s to the denizens, propietor (and his co-conspirators) of Balloon Juice. I don’t comment much, but I visit multiple times a day. Bestest to all in 2010.

  73. 73
    Corner Stone says:


    I may need to investigate this Netflix thingy you kids keeping talking about. Is it complicated?

    Oh balls dog! Straight balls!
    Listen, get a netflix account, then either get a Playstation3 or a Roku device to stream straight to your TV.
    It will change your life.
    I can go on if you’d like.

  74. 74
    General Winfield Stuck says:


    Not complicated at all. Just get the 8.99 a month subscription, at a minimum to get the Instant Play unlimited, and rent one movie at a time. You can choose higher plans if you want to get more movies thru the mail, which is pretty fast turnaround, even for me living in backwater NM. Well worth it.

  75. 75
    demkat620 says:

    @JGabriel: Did you see that Jonah Goldberg is wondering why Cameron didn’t make the aliens in Avatar Catholic?

    I’m not kidding.

    I’m telling you, they’ve gone to plaid.

  76. 76
    Corner Stone says:

    @MMM: Serenity now…insanity later.
    /F. Braun

  77. 77
    MattR says:

    @Demo Woman: She was. Now ask how comfy that left me :)

    @Evolutionary: Awww. She looks so content.

  78. 78
    Laura W says:

    @Demo Woman: I am indeed right here. It’s my compendium and therefore I set the rules. I am a pretty arbitrary and capricious bitch, so I’ve decided next year’s candidates shall start accruing TODAY!

    Cut paste cut paste cut paste.

    I am afraid the 2010 version will be so long that Word Press might crumble under the pressure.
    That would be new and different how?

    (I’m watching “Revolutionary Road” on HBO but not paying it nearly the attention it deserves. It looks steamy hot. I should record it for a more sober night, clearly.)

    Happy 2010 Everyone! The 2000s mostly sucked ass for me. With the brief exception of the last 2-3 years. Parts of them. I have A Very Good Feeling about 2010. But then, I’m easily deluded.
    Cheers All! Thanks for making me smarter and making me laugh.

  79. 79
    General Winfield Stuck says:


    Thanks Violet!!

  80. 80
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    I hadn’t thought much about the man in several years but a couple of recent conversations here brought Hunter Thompson back into my radar, soooooooo… I went out and found myself a used copy of Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas today.

    Just started reading it…

    Lord it’s funny. It’s not like I haven’t read this book 12 or 15 times already either…

    Siiiiiiiiiiiigh… the Old Days…

    But what was the story? Nobody had bothered to say. So we would have to drum it up on our own. Free Enterprise. The American Dream. Horatio Alger gone mad on drugs in Las Vegas. Do it now: pure Gonzo journalism.

    What a feel for language, especially the rhythm of words…

  81. 81
    bago says:

    In New York for NYE

  82. 82
    Mnemosyne says:

    @John Cole:

    If she would just lounge on the couch like a proper kitteh and not spend all of her time bouncing off the walls and jumping on top of the shower door, I’m sure she could get up to a proper weight. But we’ve still got at least 6 months of kittenhood ahead of us.

    But she has figured out that she looks much bigger if she snuggles up with Keaton.

  83. 83
    AkaDad says:

    @Laura W:

    Thanks! Nice post in the last thread too. Also.

  84. 84
    John O says:

    @The Republic of Stupidity:

    I read mostly “The Great Shark Hunt” the story every few years, and “The Great Shark Hunt” the book every several.

    HST was a genius, and true to his Self.

  85. 85
    Demo Woman says:

    @Laura W: That was a great movie.

  86. 86
    ajr22 says:

    The silver comment gets my vote, it’s like a diamond heist gone wrong, jewels falling all over the place and shit.

  87. 87
    demkat620 says:

    I have A Very Good Feeling about 2010.

    This may sound silly but, as I was watching some of the coverage of the nasty year its been, I was reminded of a post Markos wrote on teh eve of Super Tuesday about Obama.

    He said basically, he doesn’t need to win tomorrow, he just has to survive. That’s what I think Dems should take away from 2009 and 2010. If they can escape this years elections still holding majorities no matter how slim, its all she wrote for the GOP.

    I think we will see that realignment that everybody dreams about.

  88. 88
    Evolutionary says:

    @MattR: @MattR: Yes she is a very content and happy doggy. Your friend looks a lot like our last dog Marta. Since she was from the Animal Rescue League also we would just tall people she was a “medium brown Heinz 57”. Tasha is probably german shepard and some northern bree (like a husky) maybe? Wonderful dog both of them. Unfortunately Marta was pre digital Photo era for me.

  89. 89

    @Laura W: Happy New Year to you my friend. You are probably the reason I was brave enough to comment more than once in a blue moon here. (did you see the dead-kangoo photo I posted for you in the last thread?).

  90. 90
    gbear says:

    Beautiful full moon tonight.
    Peace to everyone.
    Turning off the computer.

  91. 91
    John O says:


    I am holding out for 2011.

    As it stands now, I see another bubble bursting. Probably CRE.

  92. 92

    @Mnemosyne: OMG! That’s adorable.

  93. 93
    Maude says:

    @bago: I hope you don’t go into the crowd. If someone brings a backpack, they put them in a corral and they can’t get out at all.

    Anyone remember the waterboard the computer comment? It was a win.

  94. 94
    Steeplejack says:


    I may need to investigate this Netflix thingy you kids keeping talking about. Is it complicated?

    Very simple. You sign up (on line), decide how much you want to pay per month–based on how many DVDs you want to have “out” simultaneously–start putting movies in your queue and Netflix starts sending them to you. Badda-bing, badda-boom. The only way Blockbuster beats it is when you suddenly decide on the spur of the moment that you have to see a certain movie right now.

  95. 95
    Corner Stone says:


  96. 96
    Laura W says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: Oh that’s SO sweet. I did, but I did not link thru. Sorry. The guilt over the long-neglected Jumps was too great to bare (bear?) tonight. I’m trying to be happy and all positive and such. This is my very favorite holiday all year so I’m just doing stuff that makes me happy for a change and trying to stay out of guilt and lower energy crap.

    But the moon IS gorgeous and full and blue (as gbear said…I even tried to shoot photos from my couch here), and as much as we all like to bitch and moan, I would like to offer this video. For me, it somehow embodies the very essence of Hope, Promise, New Beginnings, Presence, Gratitude and Joy. (I might be drunk now.)

    Natalie The Goddess Merchant

    Blessed and Lucky!

  97. 97
    John O says:


    I recently canceled, because I was subject to two dangers: Renting a movie I couldn’t get in the mood for and paying $19 for it, over 2 months, and mostly for being extremely lazy.

    If you’re not those, you’re golden.

  98. 98
    The Republic of Stupidity says:

    John O

    HST was a genius, and true to his Self.

    He really was. Sometimes someone comes along and just… taps into the zeitgeist of their times perfectly… and Hunter was one who did it for the ‘Post-Woodstock Era’… what came AFTER the good times ended… and the Altamont Vibe set in… and he simply refused to kowtow to it…

    Here’s this poor geek living in a world of convertibles zipping past him on the highways all the time, and he’s never even ridden in one. It made me feel like King Farouk. I was tempted to have my attorney pull into the next airport and arrange some sort of simple, common-law contract whereby we could just give the car to this unfortunate bastard.

  99. 99
    Corner Stone says:

    @John O: DVD43 + Click1+.17 DVD-r media

  100. 100
    Karatist Preacher says:

    What does Tunch weigh, if I may ask?

  101. 101
    Mwangangi says:

    Happy New Years. I shall be out among the amateurs before getting myself to a safe grown up gathering. Keep up the Tunch jokes. Go ‘Cuse! Go Sabres!

  102. 102
    Demo Woman says:

    @demkat620: For less than ten dollars a month you can receive one movie at a time and their turnaround for me anyway is two days. Suppose I put the movie in the mail box on Monday, then I receive another movie Wednesday. The plan allows me to watch movies instantly also. I used to drag the movies from my computer to the tv but recently invested in Roku which is much easier to use. There are several devices that you can use to watch movies instantly including some of the newer tv sets, dvd players and xbox 360’s.

  103. 103
    John O says:

    @Corner Stone:

    I only glanced at it and scanned it (and I appreciate the thought) but I’m working a Mac.

  104. 104
    Sentient Puddle says:

    Not even 9 p.m., and I’m already annoyed by the constant fireworks outside.

    I’d say I’m getting old, but I still got about 50 years left in my life expectancy. Fuck.

  105. 105
    mcd410x says:

    More gratuitous kitteh.

    Got Inglourious Basterds queued. Did Kill Bill on Christmas Eve. It’s a Q holiday!

    Cheers, everyone.

  106. 106
    John O says:

    OT. Chicago has a very good hockey team this year.

    3-0 early on the Devils. They move the puck like Commie Ruskies of ’70’s vintage.

    I’m pretty sure Right Blogostania will see this, soon, and mainstream it.

  107. 107
    Tim says:

    Hooray! Tunch for New Year’s!

  108. 108
    Karatist Preacher says:


    I really liked Inglourious Basterds – thought it was pretty well done and deserves a sequel.

  109. 109
    MattR says:

    @Evolutionary: Ellie is a rescue dog I got when she was 7 months old and is supposedly a shepherd/husky/lab mix. Her brother looked like the prototypical husky. But she is only 30 lbs so either the rescue folks were mistaken or that last quarter is a dachshund (I kinda think it is shiba based on the way she vocalizes, especially in water)

    This pic shows her better.

  110. 110
    Corner Stone says:

    @John O: Hey, we can lead a Tunch to water…

  111. 111
    mr. whipple says:

    I ate two lobsters, had two cups of espresso at 8:30 pm, and trimmed my ear hair.

    mr. whipple lives dangerously on NYE.

  112. 112
    John O says:

    @Karatist Preacher:

    A sequel?

    The entire leadership of the Third Reich was wiped out. What’ the hook?

  113. 113
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    She has been convinced since the day we brought her home that Keaton is her mommy, and she refuses to be deterred by the fact that he’s a male. (Well, mostly male, since he’s neutered.) She’ll even nuzzle up to him and try to nurse.

    It’s not all her fault, though — he is, by far, the most nurturing cat I’ve ever seen in my life so I’m not surprised she mistook him for her mother. He loves to take care of other kitties and spends a lot of time grooming her and Annie (who I don’t have any good pictures of right now). Our late cat Boris was the best-looking dying cat you ever saw because Keaton made it his job to keep him groomed.

  114. 114
    Mr Furious says:

    @AkaDad: All four are good, but you’d’ve gotten my vote.

    Just as funny the second time ’round

  115. 115
    Mr Furious says:

    Happy New Year everyone!

  116. 116
    Svensker says:

    I got nothing, but I do like the pet pics.

    The hubster is procrastinating watching the movie we picked out, so it’s a bit more of the internet, a little HGTV, then off to bed. Exciting life we duffers lead.

    Happy New Year, all!

  117. 117
    Karatist Preacher says:

    John O:

    I should have said a prequel – its never really explained why these guys were given the assignment or face a firing squad. Lots of back stories to be explored.

    At least that’s how I read it.

  118. 118
    AkaDad says:

    @Karatist Preacher:

    What does Tunch weigh, if I may ask?

    No one knows. John doesn’t have a hydraulic lift.

  119. 119
    Cat Lady says:

    @mcd410x: I’ll see your gratuitous kitteh and raise you a gratuitous kitteh.

    + 5

    EDT: FYWP! What did you do with my kitteh?

  120. 120
    John O says:

    @Karatist Preacher:

    That’s sure a better idea, but I’m sort of reflexively anti-‘quel.

  121. 121
    madmommy says:

    The fireworks are spent, the kids are asleep, and my poor dog is as close to my lap as she can get given she weighs 60 pounds. Every year the fireworks freak her a bit more, and the neighbors will be shooting them off for hours yet. I try to root for the conference in bowl games, but cheering for Tennessee is just so very wrong I simply cannot do it.

    Loving all the adorable cat and dog pics! I wish mine were more accommodating when it comes to picture taking.

  122. 122
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    Happy New Years! It seems our new year on the Oregon coast is starting out like a bad novel:

    “It was a dark and stormy night…”

    If the power goes out at midnight I will see you all in 2011. ;)

  123. 123
  124. 124
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @mr. whipple:

    I ate two lobsters, had two cups of espresso at 8:30 pm, and trimmed my ear hair.

    2 ears?

  125. 125
    Steeplejack says:

    Man, I don’t know if I’m going to make it to midnight. Me, the night owl. Go figure. But I feel really tired tonight.

    Deployed the champagne a while ago, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to get through all of it. Just feeling pleasantly tired and not that concerned about hanging in until midnight. I don’t work until 3:00 tomorrow, so I will have my long, leisurely morning to collect myself.

    My mystical friend sent me a text message about the full moon being especially auspicious tonight. I looked it up on the Google and see that it is a blue moon—second full moon in a month—and the first blue moon on New Year’s Eve since 1990. If that’s especially auspicious, I say go with it. This has been a tough year, in some obscure way that I can’t exactly put my finger on. [&#042cough&#042 Republican assholes! &#042cough&#042] Here’s hoping 2010 is better for all of us.

  126. 126
    mr. whipple says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Yes! Usually I trim my toenails on NYE, but this year I’m ahead of schedule.

  127. 127
    beabea says:

    Happy New Year everybody! With the Tunch pic, we are definitely starting the new year right.

    Congrats to the winning commenters–those are brilliant.

    We are watching Frost/Nixon at the beabea parental compound. A house and 6 storage sheds is a compound, right?

    New year’s resolution: keep trying to convince dad that you can also sell shit on eBay, not just buy.

    @Steeplejack Amen. Here’s a toast to auspiciousness.

  128. 128
    PurpleGirl says:

    Beltane: I kept thinking that these were the people who did not do much rebelling when they were young, and so they never learned to do it right.

    Yup, they were, and are still are, very jealous of the DFH who rebelled in the 60s. They didn’t get to do drugs, sex and rock-n-roll as so many others did and they resent missing the fun.

  129. 129
    Laura W says:

    @Steeplejack: Haha!

    Could you hook me up with your mystical friend?
    I myself sent this email to a friend just three hours ago:

    You need to go look at the moon! I shot photos of the sunset and just tried to “shoot the moon” but am too lazy to drag out the camera instruction book and learn how to use the settings. It’s a blue one tonight. Very cool and auspicious.

    Go watch my Natalie video up thread and dance around the living room. Or better yet, here’s one just for you…

  130. 130
    Steeplejack says:

    @Laura W:

    I saw that on the TV. Very good. Also very touching when Stevie choked up during the Michael Jackson song.

    For some reason, I have been fixating on this song tonight. An oldie but a goodie, with some relevance to the evening.

  131. 131
    Steeplejack says:


    To auspicious beginnings . . . [clink]

  132. 132
    valdivia says:

    Haven’t read the thread since I have been down with a freaking cold all day and not even enough brain power to do the usual stuff but Happy New Year BJ community. and thanks to John and DougJ, Tim F and Anne Laurie for making the year funny and more sane than it would have been without their commentary.

    Happy Happy!

  133. 133
  134. 134
    WereBear says:

    Love all the pet pics! I picked the wrong time to misplace my digital camera in our recent living room revamp, still in progress.

    But when I do, there will be a pics of Reverend Jim, 2 1/2, rescue Maine Coon mix, and 17 pounds.

    He still tries to stand on our chests while we are lying down, as he did as a baby, only now we gasp and moan and nudge him off, to his disappointment.

  135. 135
    madmommy says:


    Wow. It’s a hard life they lead, isn’t it?

  136. 136
    jeffreyw says:

    @madmommy: They’re wore plumb out. LOL

  137. 137
    cbear says:

    The bronze? The bronze?
    I wuz robbed!!!
    Goddamn commies.

    On another front—any news on whether Rushbo has departed this mortal coil yet? I’m hoping to ring in the new year with some good news.

    (commence the hand-wringing)

  138. 138
    PurpleGirl says:

    NYC is foggy tonight — I’m not able to see the moon. Which is a bummer. It also means I’ll probably not see any fireworks.

  139. 139
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    Merry New Year!

  140. 140
  141. 141
    Tonal Crow says:

    Nice cat pics! And I wish everyone a happy New Year!

  142. 142
    Phoebe says:

    Tunch has Bjork eyes.

  143. 143
    Laura W says:

    @Steeplejack: Oh yeah. I hear that one a lot on my XM. But this one breaks my heart more.

    OMIGOD! I can not BELIEVE I finally found this on youtube. I’ve searched for years. It was a staple of my college years.
    Get it while you can!
    Todd’s homage to Laura Nyro!
    Where is Iowa Housewife? We’d play this over and over in her bedroom in Isla Vista, CA, during our UCSB days.
    This made my night.
    However, this is only part one of the Runt trilogy. Where is the Baby Let’s Swing/The Last Thing You Said/Don’t Tie My Hands?

    Steep, I don’t have the energy for this tonight. If you can find the original trilogy from Runt somewhere I can hear it, I’ll be your BFF.

  144. 144
    Cat Lady says:

    Wow, I just went back and read through all of the winning threads and I left a comment in each one, which means that during the course of the year not many days went by without saying something here. This is where I came to point and laugh at teh stoopid and teh crazee.

    My favorite 2009 BJ moments:

    -Compiling the lexicon

    -When everyone had to comment to get a cookie to see the site correctly (FYWP!) and it flushed out all the lurkers.

    -Balloon Boy…. Michael Gass… helicopters not laughing… faxing credenzas…

    -Bad 80’s music videos

    That was awesome. But, still, FUCK YOU 2009!

  145. 145
    Evolutionary says:

    @MattR: She looks just like our Marta. She weighed about 40 lbs. and was a firmly commited lap dog. Tasha is a wonderful and affectionate dog but I still miss the way Marta would rub her head on my chest.

    @mr. whipple: What wonderfull eyes. I bet she gets everything she wants!

    Happy New year to all and to all a good night.

  146. 146
    mr. whipple says:

    “@mr. whipple: What wonderfull eyes. I bet she gets everything she wants!”

    Yes, she does.

    Here’s a Tunch-sized one!

  147. 147
    jeffreyw says:

    @mr. whipple: Appears to be a cat mountain.

  148. 148
    b-psycho says:

    I’m drunk already.

  149. 149
    Steeplejack says:

    @Laura W:

    I hear and obey. Get it quick.

  150. 150
    mr. whipple says:


    Yes. Quite a load, that one.

  151. 151
    kid bitzer says:

    the comment of the year was actually something i said, only i forget what right now.

    happy new year, john. thanks for running a great blog.

    happy new year doug, tim, and anne.

    and happy new year to all balloon-juicers. it’s late for old men, and i’m off to sleep.

  152. 152
    Steeplejack says:

    @Laura W:

    P.S. Also have an oddly affecting version of “Can We Still Be Friends?” By Robert Palmer. I like his voice circa Pressure Drop and Double Fun. “Give Me an Inch,” “Every Kind of People,” etc., etc.

  153. 153
    Glocksman says:

    @Corner Stone:

    Hell, the only reasons I bought a PS3 was for the media streaming and Blu-Ray playback to the Samsung HDTV set I bought at the same time.

    The one or two games I play on it were only the icing on the cake.

    The only other thing you need is the $25 bluetooth wireless Blu-Ray remote.

    You can use the game controller but the remote is much simpler.

    A buddy of mine maxes out his cable modem (thank God we aren’t on the same node) downloading HD rips of movies and TV shows.

    Both of us have eSATA BlacX hard drive docking stations and a literal pile of old hard drives that still work.

    I don’t have to bother downloading movies myself because he just loads up a 250GB drive with anything he thinks I’d like.

    Streamed over the wired (wireless HD streaming tends to pixellate and glitch badly) network to the PS3, I literally cannot tell the difference between the rips he downloads and my store bought Blu-Ray discs.

    If there is a PS3 owner who hasn’t tried it, google ‘PS3 Media Server’ and download the software for your PC.
    It will open up a new avenue of entertainment.

  154. 154
    bago says:

    @Corner Stone: No, Tunch’s gravitational pull leads the water to him.

  155. 155
    MattR says:

    @mr. whipple: So basically, both your cats get everything they want – one through cuteness, the other through intimidation

  156. 156
    mcd410x says:

    “A gay fish just can’t live in the outside world forever.”

    South Park hits a lot of home runs. Including what may be the best clip evar (Cartman doing Poker Face).


  157. 157
    Steeplejack says:


    “You Overwhelm Me,” Robert Palmer. Double Fun, 1978.

  158. 158
  159. 159
    mcd410x says:

    EDT: First one got approved!!

  160. 160
    4jkb4ia says:

    Tonight is the ultimate redemption for the new design of Billboard.com, especially after the Portable People Meter killed KATZ-FM.

  161. 161
    Montysano says:

    Happy New Year to John, DougJ, Tim, Annie, and all of the BJ community!

    Sayonara to the Bush Decade. Adios to 2009, a horrid year. 2010 has to be better… I think.. maybe.

  162. 162
    demkat620 says:

    @Steeplejack: Thanks!

    I’ll look but I have become a kind of spur of the moment watcher.

    Can I tell you how many times I’ve watched Slumdog this month? Simply because it was on.

  163. 163
    demkat620 says:

    @Steeplejack: Thanks!

    I’ll look but I have become a kind of spur of the moment watcher.

    Can I tell you how many times I’ve watched Slumdog this month? Simply because it was on.

  164. 164
    4jkb4ia says:

    (Das Punkt, as Randall Roberts used to call them, will almost certainly not play the #1 song until Shabbos)

  165. 165
    Anne Laurie says:


    I may need to investigate this Netflix thingy you kids keeping talking about. Is it complicated?

    As others have said, Netflix is Da Best!

    We don’t have cable, due to the Spousal Unit’s religious objections (he’s a devout cheapskate) so I subscribed to Netflix to watch shows like Six Feet Under and Rescue Me. I’ve kept upgrading my subscription ever since, from the 3-at-a-time basic to the premium package, and I’m always having trouble keeping my queue under the 500-maximum limit. We tell ourselves it’s still kinda cost-efficient, since it’s saved us from buying any number of not-worth-it anime series on spec, not to mention reducing our movie-theatre-going expenses to only those that really need the full immersive experience.

    Two more points: I, at least, have been very pleased & surprised with their customer service. Shortly after I started, I lost a disc & paid for it. Found the missing disc some months later & sent it back just to get it out of the house — and they credited my account back! Also, when my idiot brothers-in-law failed to use the gift sub we’d given them after a full year, Netflix starting using those funds against our monthly payment, which was a pleasant surprise. I’ve received the occasional cracked/unplayable disc, and had a few others disappear in the mail (on both ends of the transaction) but they’ve always been very prompt about replacing them.

    Also, I finally took my tech-challenged courage in both hands and tried clicking the ‘Play Now’ button next to one of the documentaries in my queue. Took about 10 minutes to “load the player” and it came up & played on my PC (which is good but not game-worthy, although we do have Fios for faster downloading).

    Netflix offers free 2-week trial periods on a regular basis, and if you know somebody who’s already a subscriber that sometimes can get bumped up to a month.

  166. 166
    madmommy says:

    Somewhere out in the Atlantic Ocean it is officially 2010, and that’s good enough for me. Since I’ve got to work tomorrow I’m off, but not before wishing a Happy New Year to everyone. 2010 has got to be a better year. Right?

  167. 167
    Demo Woman says:

    Happy New Years all and to all a good night.

  168. 168
    donovong says:

    Happy New Year to all joocers everywhere!

    And fuck you very much 2009.

  169. 169
    LittleBit says:

    @mr. whipple: Oh, Mr. Whipple, she’s (he’s?) a looker! Those green eyes!

  170. 170
    mr. whipple says:


    LOL. Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

  171. 171
    mr. whipple says:


    Thank you!

  172. 172
    KDP says:

    Sweet! Happy New Year.

  173. 173
    mcd410x says:

    Yglesias says Iron Man is better than The Dark Knight.

    I think that’s bullshit.

  174. 174
    Brachiator says:

    It’s been an interesting year, and I am hopeful because Obama is in the White House (no matter how much some whine and complain). On the way home (early leave from the office) I saw a couple of acts of the kindness of strangers, which always satisfies my soul.

    For those who might enjoy a shot of encouragement for the tough battles ahead, I offer you Sly and the Family Stone, Stand.

    “Stand, you’ve been sitting much too long, there’s a permanent crease in your right and wrong.”

    For those who just want to get their New Year’s groove on, whether alone or with friends, I offer you one of the songs featured in the wonderful film, Ghost World, Jaan Pehechaan Ho, guaranteed to make you smile.

    Happy New Year to all!

  175. 175
    Laura W says:

    @Steeplejack: Thank you so much for that, Steep. Made my NY’s Eve.
    Such nostalgia.

  176. 176
    demkat620 says:

    @mcd410x: Yes that is bullshit.

    Dark Knight is way better than Iron Man.

  177. 177
  178. 178
    MattR says:

    Anyone looking for something on TV, HBO Comedy is showing Wanda Sykes’s most recent stand up special. Timing seems ironic since it opens with her commenting on the reaction to her performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

  179. 179

    @Laura W: That’s a great song. Sorry if my link brought up bad memories!! My friend would agree, as he claims the damn things killed him.

    It’s 10 pm here and I doubt I will make it to 12am. Too tired in this moment….but excited for the new year. I think I’ll just let Natailie Merchant play me off…

  180. 180
    MikeJ says:

    Natalie The Goddess Merchant

    Saw them (N and the 9,999 others) at the Channel with Chris Stamey, formerly of the dBs opening. Damn what a show that was. Seaweed and cloves, a smell you never forget.

  181. 181
    Steeplejack says:

    @Laura W:

    Cheers! [clink]

  182. 182

    @Mnemosyne: That sounds just like my Harley. He’s probably 15-16 lbs now. When I got him, he was a year old and 8lbs. Thought he was a tiny boy, turns out he was half-starved. He’s the lover of the house, the peace-maker and all around snuggler.

  183. 183
    Yutsano says:

    Three minutes until two glorious days off in the New Year.


  184. 184
    Yutsano says:

    @Steeplejack: L’chaim!

  185. 185
    Midnight Marauder says:

    Happy New Year to all in the BJ Community (immature chuckle here).

    2010 is the year we complete the Lexicon.


    Edit: Which is to say as much as you can complete something that is such a living, breathing entity as the Lexicon that is. Also. As well. Too. Apropro.

  186. 186
  187. 187
    Morbo says:

    @Yutsano: I need to pour myself a drink, sake happens to be all I have on hand right now, so, kampai.

  188. 188
    AkaDad says:

    Happy New Year!

  189. 189
    Darryl says:

    I see Tunch, but I can’t see the bounty hunter, or the slave girl chained near him. Shoulda used a wider angle lens.

  190. 190
    JGabriel says:


    Did you see that Jonah Goldberg is wondering why Cameron didn’t make the aliens in Avatar Catholic?

    Jeepers. Goldberg’s gotta lay off the Orson Scott Card. Turning the Blue Native American Elves into Catholics? That’s conservative.

    Happy New Year, All!


  191. 191
    Steeplejack says:


    Back atcha!

  192. 192
    Steeplejack says:

    Kee-rist! The building fire alarm went off at the stroke of midnight, either from some asshole’s prank or because of some mini-Y2K turnover thing. Went on for four minutes and just stopped. I don’t smell smoke, so I guess I am safe.

    Happy New Year, Juicers!

  193. 193
    gnomedad says:


    Did you see that Jonah Goldberg is wondering why Cameron didn’t make the aliens in Avatar Catholic?

    How come we never see any Republican aliens? Huh?

  194. 194
    Lesley says:

    Those winning comments are hilarious.

    Also, is Tunch on a throne in that pic? He appears to be draped.

  195. 195
    Mnemosyne says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    We’re pretty sure that Keaton is at least part Maine Coon. He has the coat, the personality, and the smallest meow you’ve ever heard in an adult cat. Every time we’re at the vet’s office, people are absolutely convinced that we have a kitten until they actually see him in his 13-pound glory. Charlotte already has a deeper meow than he does.

    Annie looks exactly like the classic Maine Coon — brown tabby, furry ears, fuzzy toes, even the M on her forehead — but she’s barely 6 pounds.

  196. 196
    JGabriel says:


    How come we never see any Republican aliens?

    What, you’ve never seen a sci-fi movie with alien cave-men?

    Also, I’m pretty sure the aliens that were addicted to the endorphins or neurotransmitters of human children in Torchwood: Children of Earth were probably Republicans. Combining addiction with child abuse just seems like such a GOP thing to do.


  197. 197
    Ash Can says:

    When Tunch goes outside, does he need to wear license plates?

    (I keed, I keed — I love the Tunchmeister. He’s adorable.)

    @John O:

    Chicago has a very good hockey team this year.

    Scary good. We might have a 1961 on our hands.

    Happy New Year, one and all. I didn’t expect much from 2009, so I wasn’t disappointed. In 2010, there’s nowhere to go but up. Cheers!

    Ash Can +1 (bottle of Veuve Cliquot)

  198. 198
    Something Fabulous says:

    CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE BACKSIDE OF 2009. My wee NYE plan is on hold for a few hours, waiting to hear: how my dad is in hospital in Chicago, how friend’s sister is in hospital in San Fran, and for the hostess to return from the hospital from checking in her guest, who decided to see in the new year with ambien and bourbon shots.

    I also am strangely hopeful that the new decade is going to be better, in spite of all. Two and a half hours left, here in LA: a toast to all-y’all for the future!

    SomeFab +2.

  199. 199
    Glocksman says:

    @Ash Can:

    Well, I heard that the West Virginia Motor Carrier enforcement people insist that Tunch stop and have his weight checked before going onto a major highway.

    Personally I think they don’t realize the the difference between ‘Tunch’ and ‘JB Hunt’.

    That said, may John, Tunch, and Lily have many more happy years together.

  200. 200
    Darryl says:

    Sadly Darryl is +0. Who would have imagined that 12 drinks a day for 5 years would mess one’s stomach up?

    (don’t fret for me. Now I stay sober and take Zantac all week and then on Saturdays I get to enjoy the +12 lifestyle.)

  201. 201
    Johnny Pez says:


    How come we never see any Republican aliens?

    Ever since DS9 went off the air, Ferengi have been pretty scarce.

    Btw, picked up “The Prisoner” (the original) on DVD recently. Now I want to live in Portmeirion.

    Also, basenjis. Also.

    And as usual, I’m spending New Year’s Eve at work. Hapinuyr Juicers.

  202. 202
    gwangung says:

    How come we never see any Republican aliens?

    Ever since DS9 went off the air, Ferengi have been pretty scarce.

    Wingnuts THINK they’re Klingons.

  203. 203

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: Speaking of blue moons, we have on tonight.

    Happy new year everyone!

  204. 204
    Glocksman says:

    For those of us on Central time, Happy New Year!

  205. 205
    JGabriel says:


    Wingnuts THINK they’re Klingons.

    Wingnuts think that Ayn Rand was a good writer, that Ronald Reagan was great president, that Darwin was wrong, that Bush was right, that God loves them, and that Satan is their enemy rather than their raison d’etre.


  206. 206

    Happy New Year All, from US Central! Watching Top Gear Season 10 on NetFlix.

    Hope the new decade treats the BJ community well!

  207. 207

    @arguingwithsignposts: Made the mistake of starting Our Mutual Friend-6 episodes. Now I can’t stop. Very clever of Netflix to figure out the on line movie thingy.

  208. 208
    IndyLib says:

    Happy New Year from the wilds of exurban Wisconsin to all of BJ.

  209. 209
    Mr Furious says:

    @demkat620: Iron Man better than Dark Knight? Uh, yeah. that’s bullshit alright.

    I just finished watching Dark Knight, and then rewatching key scenes—which ended up being pretty much anytime Ledger was onscreen.

    Iron Man was fun and entertaining, Dark Knight was fucking intense.

    Heath Ledger’s Joker was hand’s down the finest performance of an insane character I’ve ever seen. And the best comic character adaptation by a mile.

    Hell, it was one of the best acting performances of this era, period.

    And what an unbelievable score.

    I’ll give Yglesias that Downey is better than Bale, but Dark Knight is on another level as a film.

    Iron Man was the best comic-based film I’d seen until this. Dark Knight is simply a great film.

  210. 210
    goposaur says:

    Ha HA, I have a mini-Tunch in my possession.

  211. 211
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Johnny Pez:

    Also, basenjis. Also.

    The Spousal Unit and I joke that Baroo is the God of Little Dogs, because that’s what all of our papillons say under circumstances when a human would yell jeezuz keeroist!

    However, I made the mistake of following the YouTube link, and discovering a new nightmare. Gloria, the “miniature border collie ha ha” papillon girl we took in ‘temporarily’ from breed rescue is really tall by toy standards (almost 16″ at the shoulder). Which wouldn’t be out of the question for a purebred petshop papillon… but she’s very high-dominance, and she sneer-talks a lot, and has a ferocious prey drive… Oh dear goddess in heaven, I adore sighthounds but I didn’t have the energy to deal with one 20 years ago. No, no, I’m sure Gloria’s just… a very alpha papillon…

  212. 212
    asiangrrlMN says:

    TUNNNNNNNNNCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I loooooooooooooove yoooooooou! Sigh. He looks sooooo cuuuuuute!

  213. 213
    Yutsano says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Heh. I knew you’d stop being out of touch for a Tunch pic. I take it you’re having a faboo time back home?

  214. 214
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @Yutsano: Ummmmmm….it’s complicated. You can read my blog for more. However, the food is faaaaabulous!

    And, Cole, I <3 you for giving me a pic of my Tuuuuuuunch!

  215. 215
    daryljfontaine says:

    Happy New Year, Juicers. Went to see Sherlock Holmes with my wife (who moved out in November) and her best friend/roommate, then went back to their place for pizza. Got to see our dog Max who is a terrier mix and still a bundle of happy energy. Far too tired, so I drove home, managed to stay up just past midnight, and crashed on the sofa for entirely too many hours. As I write this, my cats are curled up in their warm spots in the living room, doing what I should be doing and sleeping soundly.

    The end of 2009 sucked, and I’ll be glad to see the back of it. Hoping for a better 2010.

    Oh, and Netflix is a winner. I used to have delivery problems til I had them routed to my P.O. Box; we had a subscription that we hadn’t really used much since August but since I’ve been on my own again the queue is moving along nicely.


Comments are closed.