Another Open Thread

Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

122 replies
  1. 1
    cleek says:

    Google gives me 69,500 hits for “anopther”. you are not alone.

  2. 2
    Ben says:

    And now I want to kill you for putting it back in my head. Such is progress.

  3. 3
    Comrade Jake says:

    When did Yglesias get a hold of Cole’s account?

  4. 4
    r€nato says:

    It was a great song before 1999, it was a great song again in 2000 and it will live on forever.

    But in late 1998… yeah I was pretty damned sick of it. Don’t be obvious is one of my personal mottos.

  5. 5
    Laura W says:

    In keeping with the spirit of the day and year end traditions and all, I feel compelled to share The Second Annual Fat Cat Jokes At Tunch’s Expense Compilation.
    This year’s crop exceeded all expectations. Last year’s list was only 14 entries long! The addition of Lily to the Cole household provided plenty of new material. (Of course this list is entirely subjective and based on what made me laugh the loudest. Your laughter may vary.)

    Remember Tunch: we kid because we love. Don’t hurt us.

    *Happy New Year Thread 1/1/2009*

    Ash Can:
    Does Tunch have his own ZIP code?

    Oh, and I won’t ask how much it cost you to bribe the NASA people to use the Hubble to take that shot of Tunch.

    Maybe if you went with a landscape shot, he’d look smaller.

    *January 21st, 2009*


    John said: BTW- Tunch Update. It appears he has a new perch.

    From the pictures of that cat, “perch” is a pretty inaccurate way to describe anything it sleeps on.

    More appropriate terms would probably be “foundation”, “scaffold” or “The forest moon of Endor”.


    Michael D. @TheFountainHead:
    And here’s the link properly embedded so John doesn’t throw Tunch at me…

    John can’t lift Tunch.

    *Super bowl open thread, 2/1/09*

    Michael D. @Napoleon:
    I suspect John is dancing with Tunch out of shear joy.

    I bet Tunch leads.

    *Feb 2, Post Super Bowl Thread*

    Credit where credit is due.
    While the pre game was idiotic, the stadium shots from the Goodyear Tunch were awesome.

    *2/2 Tunch photo series, Super Bowl day after*

    Being relatively new to your site (commenting occasionally for several months, reading it regularly since the summer), I did not consider it appropriate for me to comment on Tunch’s weight.

    I am wondering, however, did you have to push hard to roll him over like that?

    Media Browski:
    Could you post a picture of Tunch next to a something that would let us judge his size objectively, like perhaps a Caterpillar Tractor or Rush Limbaugh?

    *2/19 The Cat Diet*

    dr. bloor:
    Hmmmm…at this point, I suspect the easiest way for Tunch to shed those unwanted pounds would be to graft some opposable thumbs onto his paws and teach him how to use Photoshop.

    I hope he can safely pass the poor orange Tabby he seems to be excreting in the last picture.

    *3/4 Perpetual Bitch-Slap Machine*

    Mentis Fugit:
    I heard that Garfield tells “Tunch jokes”.

    *3/5 Scenes from the TunchCam 2009 (photo of Tunch sitting up screaming at John):*

    Huh! He can support his own weight. I guess I lost five bucks!

    *5/3 Open Thread*

    Harlana Pepper: btw, my niece found a turkish van kitteh at work and found a home for it – just thot I’d mention it, isn’t it the general consensus that Tunch is a portly version of a turkish van?

    2th&nayle @harlana pepper: I think it’s more the general consensus that Tunch is a portly version of a turkey ham!

    *5/15 New Toy*

    I can picture Tunch when he’s old, using an electric chair-lift to get up the stairs.

    *Tunch Cam Premiers! 5/22*

    Which one of those objects was the couch? The big furry thing that didn’t move, or the other thing that looked like it was covered in a blanket?

    *Tunch Cam Round 2, 5/22*

    HyperIon @jl:
    Poor Tunch is weak and can barely move.

    yeah, that toy makes him look fat.

    Jon H:
    You need a timelapse video.

    Jon H:
    He’s moving… in dimensions you can’t even imagine.

    *March 24 Tunchcam 5*

    You don’t say:
    Is Tunch ambulatory? We’ve only ever seen him on that blue blanket. Does he exist outside that small, blue background?

    His hind legs moved in this one. What a letdown.

    That cat moved maybe three times, and you call that “making a ruckus”? He must spend most of the day comatose.

    *Memorial Day Open Thread (dog and man doing squats to Beatles tunes.)*

    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch @Perry Como:
    /r/ John Cole and Tunch doing that routine.

    Tunch seems to have trouble rolling as it is, if the videos are any indication, nevermind doing squats.

    *6/22 Sunday Afternoon Open Thread*

    Betsy @asiangrrlMN:
    Hmm – I’m not really sure, actually! I think she weighs about 8 lbs? She’s just over a year. When we got her she was 5 months old and weighed 4 lbs. So I think she’s got a little bit more growing to do, but not much. She smaller than Tunch, but so is a Shetland pony.

    *6/25 Detente (First photo of Tunch and Lily on futon together)*

    Notice how the whole futon appears to be tilting down towards the cat end.

    The Grand Panjandrum:
    Jesus! When Tunch hauls ass, does he have to make two trips?

    Ditch Digger:
    You can just picture the mental conversation they are having:

    Lily: Look, i know its your damn futon, but this guy has me walking 9 miles a day, i’m not used to this. How much does he walk you every day?

    Tunch: Just keep talking cowboy…

    *6/29 Monday Night Open Thread*

    Yeah, I want to see Tunch eating – is there something we’re not supposed to see/know?

    His cat dish is actually a punch bowl.

    *7/6 Picking up DougJ’s Slack*

    gbear @Phoenix Woman:
    Totally off-topic, but is Tunch (the cat, not the former football player) a Turkish Van?

    Oh now that’s just being cruel. Tunch isn’t any bigger than a small Japanese sedan.

    *7/7 Tues Night Open Thread*

    I don’t understand why he is so fat if he eats from such a tiny bowl.
    What is in the bowl, lard?

    *8/11 Tunchcam #8*

    I think John needs to go into his basement, find the spot under the futon and add a few more support beams.

    *11/17 Adoption Bleg (Tunch “Action” Video update)*

    ZOMG, that albino manatee is moving around!
    I always thought it had been to a taxidermist…

    *Nov 28 Sat Night Open Thread*

    John, could we please have a picture of Tunch sometime soon? I’m asking as nicely and politely as I know how.

    Dork @SiubhanDuinne: Just picture a morbidly obese white cat with a bad-ass attitute sitting on an ubiquitous futon scowling at the camera.

  6. 6
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Laura W:

    Jeebus LauraW! I always said BJ needs a Tunch historian. Every King should have one. Bravoskie!!

  7. 7
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Personally, I never make fat Tunch jokes. That whole bad Karma thingy.

    edit- And there is no way in hell I will ever click on a Prince song. It will take extra trickery to complete that mission Mr. Cole/

    And Charlie is celebrating the new year in style. Pics later.

  8. 8
    freelancer says:

    @Laura W:

    Damn. That is a yeoman’s job of aggregating. Kudos for the hilarious roundup!

  9. 9

    @Laura W: You wins teh Intertrons! Excellent!

  10. 10

    @Royston Vasey: Oh and a Happy New Year to all here at BJ!

    I’m already living in a new decade (it’s gone mid-day on the 1st here in NZ)

  11. 11
    JenJen says:

    Kill myself? I was too busy shakin’ dat ass. December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    LauraW, I love you.

  12. 12
    AhabTRuler says:

    And Charlie is celebrating the new year in style. Pics later.

    You got him a hooker and an eight-ball?

  13. 13
    Fair Economist says:

    Laura W – lol! That was a post with some prep work!

  14. 14
    Cat Lady says:

    @Laura W:

    Wow. Impressive.

    They’re all worthy, but I vote for ChrisB on 2/2.

    I am wondering, however, did you have to push hard to roll him over like that?

    Just the right balance of snark and feigned innocence.

  15. 15
    General Winfield Stuck says:


    You got him a hooker and an eight-ball?

    That’s for me. Charlie ain’t got no money. He gets extra treats and a party hat.

  16. 16
    meh says:

    so to end a really shitty 2009 on a good note, my wife is pregnant with the 2nd little one. I’ve been forbidden from telling anyone but you savages don’t count as “anyone” Yippee for me!

  17. 17
    Fair Economist says:

    Wow, 1999 makes me feel old. It was one of the first albums I bought. So when it became the millennial anthem I could say “wow, I remember when it came out and 2000 seemed so far away”.

    Now my history is history.

  18. 18
    barstoolcadaver says:

    The end of a decade, century and millennium. A once in a lifetime event that can only be experienced by a few lucky souls. So of course I spent it in the greatest style imaginable. Sick with the flu. Although the aural hallucinations were interesting.

  19. 19

    @meh: Hey meh! Congrats on little meh #2. Good news for new years eve. We need libs to reproduce more!

  20. 20
    danimal says:


    Kill myself? I was too busy shakin’ dat ass. December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    Damn, all I remember is that I had to go into the f#$#ing office early on New Year’s Day to see if the apocalypse Y2K bug had killed us all off.

  21. 21
    Tomlinson says:

    @Laura W:


  22. 22
  23. 23
    Keith says:

    Anyone catch Sully now apparently wanting the entire CIA chain of command fired? Sounds like he didn’t get that BB gun for x-mas this year.

  24. 24
    Tomlinson says:


    so to end a really shitty 2009 on a good note, my wife is pregnant with the 2nd little one. I’ve been forbidden from telling anyone but you savages don’t count as “anyone” Yippee for me!


  25. 25
    Violet says:

    @Laura W:

    Didn’t John say he was moving soon? Is that because Tunch has grown too big for his current house?

  26. 26
    AhabTRuler says:

    The end of a decade, century and millennium.

    Oh, so you are talking about 9 years ago then. The only thing that happened 10 years ago is that the first numeral of the year changed (and 1999 was played to death).

  27. 27
    Redshirt says:

    I miss Y2K! Or, specifically, I miss, still, that I missed the Y2K Gravytrain.

  28. 28
    KCinDC says:

    I don’t mean to be un-PC, but what definition of “terrorist” is NPR using? Aren’t the Taliban the other side in the war we’re fighting in Afghanistan? Do contractors working for your enemy’s intelligence service really count as civilians? If in WW2 an American had made a suicide attack on German “civilians” running an interrogation center, would that have been a terrorist attack?

    I mean, is any attack on our side a terrorist attack by definition? I know this is hardly the first example, but I’m just getting tired of the propaganda.

    I guess if we’re fighting a War on Terrorism, then anything our enemies do must be terrorism.

  29. 29
    Cat Lady says:


    Congratulations! I’m telling everyone I know that meh from Balloon Juice’s wife is having their second baby!

  30. 30
    cleek says:


    I mean, is any attack on our side a terrorist attack by definition?


    if a terrorist is someone who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace (which is basically the USA PATRIOT (802c) definition), then everyone who fights against our military in order to change the way we treat their country is a terrorist.

  31. 31
    South of I-10 says:

    @Laura W: Ha! Have a glass of wine on me, that is hysterical!

  32. 32
    South of I-10 says:

    @meh: Awww Congratulations! Way to start off the new year with a bang!

  33. 33
    Violet says:

    Yeah, just saw that. It’s going to be pretty funny – in a wry, sad kind of way – if they have hearings on this f^&k up and every single person in all jobs was following the rules as they were written. Especially if said rules were written during the Bush administration, which of course was known it’s eagle eye focus on Defeating Terrorists.

  34. 34
    Elisabeth says:



  35. 35
    freelancer says:

    Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

    Better than hearing this.

  36. 36
    liberty60 says:

    Looking at all the end-of-decade reviews has gotten me even more embittered than usual over the decade long reign of Repubs; here is a good link from Jason Linkins at Hufpo

    His thrust is we are all Harry Whittington, the poor fuck who got shot in the face by Cheney, THEN APOLOGIZED TO CHENEY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

    Every problem, from getting laid off, to getting our 401(k)s looted, to being foreclosed upon, is simply our fault, the fault of the losers and crybabies, never the fault of the John Galts on Wall Street, or Commander Codpiece and his tools in Washington.
    And for that, as Nooner would say, we must apologize, and keep on walking.

  37. 37
    Mark S. says:




    I’ve always thought that captured Taliban forces should be considered POW’s while Al-Qaeda should not. Of course, I also ascribe to the quaint, dirty hippie notion that it is illegal to torture anyone.

  38. 38
    Redshirt says:

    Man, Tunch jokes should be a genre of joke all their own – essentially, Garfield jokes, but more “punch in the throat”.

  39. 39
    MikeJ says:

    I’m disappointed my comment about Tunch being most of the mass in the universe was snubbed in the awards.

  40. 40
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Politics is dead to me right now. Just don’t give a tinkers damn about the neverending stoopid. I didn’t care a whit for politics until the beginning of this soon to end decade, if I’m lucky, it was a ten year bug only. But I rarely am lucky.

  41. 41
    r€nato says:


    now you’re catching on.

  42. 42

    @Laura W: Thank God I’d finished the diet coke before I read your post. You win!

  43. 43
    JenJen says:

    @danimal: I’m very sorry to hear that. I was nursing the Hangover of the Millennium that morning, and it was SO worth it.

  44. 44
    KCinDC says:

    @cleek, do you mean “someone not American who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace”?

  45. 45
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @freelancer: wouldn’t click that link for love nor money

  46. 46
    freelancer says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    You’d be right to do so.

    Limp Bizkit – 1999

  47. 47
    Maxwel says:

    Never heard it before, will never listen to it again.

  48. 48
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:


    do you mean “someone not white Christian American who uses violence to influence a government or civilian populace”?

    That’s my last fixt for 2009. Happy New Year everybody!

  49. 49

    @Laura W: Excellent work! I’ll be laughing well into the new year with this trip down memory lane.

  50. 50
    SGEW says:

    Happy New Year, one and all!

  51. 51
    slag says:

    @Laura W: Bravo, Laura W! At the rate things are going, you could end up with a Tunch-sized compendium of Tunch jokes by the end of next year…Or at least a compendium the size of Tunch’s head…by the end of the next decade.

    My favorite:
    Jon H:
    He’s moving… in dimensions you can’t even imagine.

    Thanks for the laughs!

  52. 52
    AhabTRuler says:

    I’ve been here twice for New Years, and I really want to go again.
    Maybe next year.

  53. 53
    r€nato says:


    thanks for passing that on

    reading that made me want to shoot this decade in the face and make it apologize to me.

  54. 54
  55. 55
    Laura W says:

    @MikeJ: I clearly did not read that thread I like to pretend have a life, you know) because your comment here made me howl.
    I apologize. A true oversight and a tragic one at that.
    (Edit: What slag said. Link please.)

  56. 56
    Svensker says:

    Laura W — fantastic.

    Meh — fantastic.

    Prince — was fantastic, but got old, at least that song (Raspberry Beret still makes me smile, tho).

    Gen Stuck, Sir — I’m with you. Politics is teh dull and I ain’t interested.

    Opening a very good bott-el (New Joisey pronunc) of red wine to go with the prime rib pot pie (frugal extravagance!) and am thinking about a Coke Float for desert. Disgusting, eh? But so worth it. This shitty decade is about over!

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

  57. 57
  58. 58
    trollhattan says:

    Laura W for teh win! A certain keyboard headed to dishwasher due to your efforts. And if Tunch reads this thread somebody’s gonna pay…aww who am I kidding, there will be hard stares and annoyed squeaking.

    I have it on Aussie authority it’s a fine new year so far–everybody enjoy yours!

  59. 59
    inugai_kenzo says:


    –w/asiangrrlMN’s rusty pitchfork!

    (ETA) Happy New Year! :>

  60. 60
    MikeJ says:


    (Raspberry Beret still makes me smile, tho).

    What was that REM/Warren Zevon band? They covered Raspberry Beret, and it’s still the version I first think of when I hear the title. Or when I walk down the sorbet aisle in the groc-e-ree store. Raspberry sorbet. And if it was warm I wouldn’t eat much more.

    Did I mention there was a line to get in the liquor store? Buncha fuckin alcoholics standing between me and my rye.

  61. 61
    Demo Woman says:

    Laura, Great job, the Tunch isn’t laughing though.

    @meh: Exactly who are you calling savages? Congrats to you and the misses!

  62. 62
    demkat620 says:

    Happy New Year Juicers!

    I am watching a really bad Nicholas Cage movie and drinking a Harp cuddled under my Snuggie.

    Getting old sux.

    demkat +2

  63. 63
    freelancer says:

    Jimi – Auld Lang Syne

    Windtalkers? Ghost Rider? Next? Wicker Man? Gone in 60 Seconds? Con Air? Knowing? Snakeeyes? Face/Off? Guarding Tess? Firebirds?

    For FSM sake be more specific!

  64. 64
    meh says:

    tytyty – considering my wife is a republican, its all about outnumbering her at this point…quite excited – oh and I’m calling people that cook rump roast in a crock pot a savage..

    also…go FSU tomorrow

    which btw – WTB a larger childcare tax credit, pst me.

    meh +3 and gaining speed….

  65. 65
    demkat620 says:

    @meh: Oh and congrats!

  66. 66
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:


    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    Some classics never get old. That one’s a keeper.

    And in memory of Steve G.: “Fuck the fucking Yankees”

  67. 67
    gbear says:

    Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:

    Funny how some things don’t change.

    Oh, and 2010 Prince thinks that teh geh marriage is perverse and unacceptable. Dink.

    Thanks for the h/t, Laura W. I knew I had landed at least one good Tunchline this year.

  68. 68

    @AhabTRuler: Oh yes. One of my favorite cities. That photo is beautiful.

  69. 69

    @Laura W: Love this post. Love it so much, I will marry it (since Tunch himself hasn’t accepted). My favorite is gbear’s.

    And, the thing I was most sick of that year was how it was ‘the new millennium’ the next year. Um, just, no.

  70. 70
    Corner Stone says:

    @AhabTRuler: Not to be too kitschy but Vegas at New Years is pretty full of win also.
    Never been to Amsterdam. It’s wayyy down my list. But that’s a great pic.

  71. 71


    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    That just feels so familiar, and so right.

  72. 72
    Corner Stone says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Why can’t you take care of your gardening implements? Why are they all rusty and shiz?

  73. 73

    No, I hated that song so much that on Jan. 27th, 1999 I did kill myself.

    Fortunately I believe in reincarnation and my anger at the fucking DJ’s who kept playing the song powered me through time so I wound up exactly as I had been. Only it was 2335, 31 Dec., 1999 and I only had to suffer through that damn song once more time.

    The End.

    Laura W. deserves a medal. Also.

  74. 74
    Col. Klink says:

    La multi ani din Romania!

  75. 75
    HRA says:

    @Laura W:




  76. 76
    Martin says:


    Always fuck the fucking Yankees, but doubly so this year as the Times Square crowd will be especially assholish. I’ll be 3 timezones away, however.

    Martin +0, trying to have a productive day before he ramps up to double digits after dinner.

  77. 77

    And, New Year, I haz it. I will be completely off the grid for a few days, so carry on without me. Heh. Xin Xi Quai Le, bitchez!

    @meh: Woot! A bebe BJ’er! Congrats!

  78. 78

    @Corner Stone: The rain, the rain, the rain is on fi-uh! I make dem rusty just for poking purposes. Gung hay fat choi!

  79. 79
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @SIA aka ScreaminginAtlanta:

    I cleaned out my bookcase and made sure to toss all the “W Sux” books in the giveaway box. Whew, did that feel good.

    No takers, though.

  80. 80
    KyCole says:

    Ten years ago I had 12 and 19 year old daughters, and a 15 year old son. Thus I had much better reasons to kill myself than anything Prince could come up with!
    By the way- I must mention that Bob Dylan”s Christmas CD is my new all time favorite.

  81. 81
    danimal says:

    @asiangrrlMN: I think the consensus was that the Nerds were right about the actual beginning of the new millineum (1/1/01) but that no one really cared.

    Kind of a trendsetter for the not-so-Reality-Based-Decade.

  82. 82
    robertdsc says:

    Love that list, Laura. <3 the Tunchinator!

    Congrats, Meh!

    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    No fucking doubt.

  83. 83

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Hey good idea. Think I’ll throw away my “Dumb & Dumber” refrigerator magnet featuring George Bush I & George Bush the Lesser. Just to start the year out right.

  84. 84
    WereBear says:

    Thanks, Laura W, for all the Tunch jokes. There were a few I missed…

  85. 85

    While you’re all waiting for the crystal ball to drop in Times Sq., amuse yourself by a collection of 30 of the most epic studio portrait fails in the last half of the 20th century, with original captions.

  86. 86
    gbear says:


    And just for old times sake: Fuck George W. Bush.

    Wonkette agrees.

    Don’t watch the video or you’ll have to kill yourself. I’m not lying.

  87. 87

    L-Dub, not to bring up a painful subject, but this is the person who started me on my Kangoo obsession. I thought you might like to see who is really to blame and what Kangoos have done to him:


    Edit: Why does Rush get to be a lead story on the news tonight? Well I suppose if beached whales make the news, he can, too.

  88. 88
    Mnemosyne says:


    December 31, 1999 was one of those great nights, the kind your grandparents told you you’d have.

    My 12/31/99 was spent sitting in a conference room at the hospital I worked at at the time waiting to see if our computer systems were going to fail at midnight.

    Man, that sucked. 2000 was much better since that was my first New Year’s with my now-hubby.

  89. 89
    geg6 says:

    Laura W, I adore you. meh, congrats on the impending Baby meh. Prince is fucking awesome and I refuse to listen to anyone who disagrees…(Fingers in ears) la la la la. Fuck the Aughts, they sucked donkey balls. Good riddance. And my new year is starting well. The car problem I thought for sure was going to be the computer, the starter, the battery (best case scenario) was a $.57 fix. Just a bad battery terminal clamp. Only had to buy a new bolt. But someone should waterboard whoever designed the engine compartment and put the battery behind a wall in front of the front passenger wheel, necessitating taking the tire off to get to it. Fucking engineers. Idiots, every single one. Off to my John’s for dinner, vino, bubbly, and fun. Happy new year, Juicers!

  90. 90


    p.s. Google looks different. Is it me, Google or Firefox?

  91. 91

    @jurassicpork: OK I’m having nightmares tonight. But this one was hilarious. Find the photo that goes with this caption.

    Poor Wayne and Jeffery had the misfortune of getting the only child photographer in North America who focused his young clients with a headless rabbit.

  92. 92
    Corner Stone says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Actually, I was looking for “Cause it’ll ert moar!”
    In honor of one of the many fetishes you have.
    But yeah, rock on time traveler.

  93. 93
    Terri says:

    Tomorrow kicks off the year long celebration of my 50th birthday. Have a whole bucket list of shit I want to do. So, lock up the silverware and hide the chirrens. It’s gonna be a wild one.

    Thank God and John Cole for this blog. It gives me a place to come and muse over the clusterfuck that politics in this country have become, without wanting to shoot someone. Well, I still want to shoot someone, but I don’t, because here I realize I’m not alone. Thanks to all the BJers who teach me and make me laugh.

    Finally, thank you to whatever Supreme Being that saw fit to give Rush Limbaugh chest pains. I realize it doesn’t sound very nice to say that, but I’ve never played well with others, and the thought of that fat fucker in pain, really made the end of my year. A bowel obstruction would have been much more fitting and debilitating, but a this point in my life, I’ve learned to appreciate small gestures.

    Happy New Year everybody! Be safe.


  94. 94
    mcd says:

    If you haven’t seen the Sanchez take-down of Ensign re: his mistress, it’s worth a look. On occasion, things really do work they way they’re supposed to.

  95. 95

    @AhabTRuler: You have some wonderful photos on your flickr site! I liked the cat video, but the music reminds me of a pr0n movie I saw back in the 80’s. :)

  96. 96
    The Moar You Know says:

    In socialized medicine, government health care — you heard him say, the overweight are to blame. Yeah, folks, I gotta tell you something. I think those of you that regularly exercise — playing softball, baseball, basketball, soccer, mountain biking, running, rock climbing, skiing, skating, running — you’re the people getting injured. You’re the people showing up at the hospital with busted knees and tendons and skin cancer, ankle sprains, knee and hip replacements, broken bones, concussions, muscle, ligament, tendon, cartilage strains and tears, tendinitis, rotator cuff tears. All you exercise freaks, you’re the ones putting stress on the health care system. What happens when people don’t regularly exercise and keep their weight relatively under control? Nothing! They probably don’t even know their doctors’ names. So you’re urging to go out there do all of this stuff and you’re ending up in the hospital all the time with these injuries and some people think these injuries are badges of honor. A knee surgery scars a badge of honor shows toughness. Yeah. Toughness, somebody else has to pay for.”

    -Rush Limbaugh, who I hope continues his current fitness regimen of Oxycontin and boy rape.

  97. 97
    Jean says:

    You know who isn’t laughing at Tunch Jokes? The helicopters.

  98. 98
    John O says:

    Happy New Year, BJ.

    I’m getting perverse joy out of watching military football teams kick ass, am happy this year and decade are over, and am +3 and wondering if I’ll see midnight, but the year was so bad I think I will just to wish it death.

    Cheers to one of the smartest and funniest blogs in the ‘sphere.

  99. 99

    Happy New Year to all!

    Just received word moments ago that my cousin will be discharged on Tuesday, her progress is that amazing. Everyone in the family is thrilled. I’m still a bit stunned at near death to discharged in a little over 2 months. I really don’t know how her parents are still functional.

    But a great way to start the new year in my little corner of the world.

  100. 100
    The Moar You Know says:

    Losing Weight Does Not Require Exercise

    More brilliant fitness advice from a whale of a radio host that is currently beached in a Honolulu hospital. Hopefully, the gurney is properly reinforced.

    Sadly, last reports have this paragon of American intellect still alive.

  101. 101

    @Bad Horse’s Filly: So glad for your family. I must have missed it when that happened, but very glad the news is good.

  102. 102

    @mcd: I saw that – amazing. Ensign looks rough.

  103. 103
    John O says:

    Rick Sanchez entertains me from time to time, but one of my ’09 successes was turning off cable “news” and chat.

    It’s hard to tell if it helped.

  104. 104
    slag says:

    @MikeJ: Hilarious! And true. Now that Lily’s around, Tunch is like a black hole.

  105. 105
    Cat Lady says:


    I see what you did there.

  106. 106
    Svensker says:


    Ha ha ha. The headless rabbit comment is perfection.

  107. 107
    Svensker says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    Yay. Focuses the priorities, dunnit.

  108. 108


    And a special happy new year to Michael Gass. I’m sure JC and Doug are enjoying the credenzas he faxed over. (that was an epic thread. Balloon Boy, oh, Balloon Boy, we miss you so)

  109. 109
    Steeplejack says:



  110. 110
    Mike G says:

    Ten years ago this evening I was at the hospital where I worked in IT support, where panicky management demanded all the IT staff and all department heads be on site for the expected disaster at midnight.

    Me and the other IT guy had pretty much worked out that nothing would happen (with a certainty which rose to 100% at 4pm when the servers using UTC (similar to Greenwich Mean Time) ticked past midnight without incident), so we were the calmest guys in the building.

    At midnight we celebrated the new millenium with several rounds of surreptitious drinks in the IT office. For the managers it was the culmination of a year of needless panic (potential for riots! societal collapse!) and useless paperwork and meetings for Y2K demanded by clueless consultants, and us IT peons pissed them off greatly by saying we knew months ago that nothing would happen.

    We found some empty patient rooms and slept off our celebrations and went home in the morning.

  111. 111
    Mnemosyne says:

    @The Moar You Know:

    Much as I hate to say it, he’s sorta right. Weight loss depends a lot more on food intake than exercise. If you’re not watching what you eat, exercise will only go so far because you won’t be able to get rid of the excess calories through exercise alone. (Unless you devolve all the way into exercise bulimia, but no one advises that.)

    However, maintaining weight loss requires some exercise, so getting at least moderate exercise while you’re losing weight is a good habit to get into.

    Hey, even Rush has to have a stopped-clock moment every once in a while, right?

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    Steeplejack says:

    @Bad Horse’s Filly:

    That’s great news going into the new year.

  113. 113
    Betsy says:

    Laura W = Her Awesomeness.
    @Bad Horse’s Filly:
    Hell yeah!! That’s wonderful news. Happy new year, indeed.

    @asiangrrlMN: Aww. You will be missed ’round these here parts.

  114. 114
    Betsy says:

    Mazel tov!! When is the baby due?

  115. 115

    Just curious, any BJ’ers ever lived in Italy or England for a period of a year or more? Off chance we may have an opportunity for my SO to work abroad for a few years. I am such a homebody it’s hard for me to imagine, but it’s an exciting thought too.

  116. 116
    Steeplejack says:

    You guys be hatin’ on the Tunch tonight. But let’s not forget his finest hour in ’09–the pwnage raid of December 14.

    White paw of death, bitchez!

  117. 117
    Svensker says:


    But let’s not forget his finest hour in ‘09—the pwnage raid of December 14.

    And notice it says “Download the Large Size” ? The jokes write themselves on the intertubes.

  118. 118
    Steeplejack says:


    Hey, Tunch only comes in the one size!

  119. 119
    Happy Freaking New Year says:

    Another 40 minutes and we can put 09 to bed. Dick Clark and heir apparent Ryan Seacrest welcome in 2010. Just to date myself I remember when it used to be Guy Lombardo, a bag of Ruffles potato chips and a bowl of french onion dip. Anyhow, here’s hoping that 2010 does’t suck as much as 2009 did.

  120. 120
    Platonicspoof says:

    @Laura W:
    Can I nominate one more comment for the ‘Tunch Is Fat’ list?
    From Dec. 09, 2009: Ho! Ho! Uh-Oh!
    Comment 21:
    ethan salto
    It’s cute how those cats are all huddling together and it looks like one giant Voltron cat!

  121. 121

    @Betsy: Thanks, Betsy. I miss y’all, too. And, I miss Tunchie very much.

    @Steeplejack: I NEVER hate on Tunchie-Wunchie. I lurves him.

  122. 122
    estamm says:

    God, I hate Prince. I hate his misogyny. I hate his arrogance. I hate his cutesy way of ‘abbreviating’ words with letters and number (‘2’ instead of ‘too’) like he is illiterate but doesn’t want anyone to know. I hate the way he treats his guitar like a penis. His ‘music’ sucks. How this creep became famous is totally beyond my comprehension.

Comments are closed.