The Most Versatile State in the Union

Romney-bot Kevin Madden on CNN:

MADDEN: President Obama right now has suffered very greatly in the last few months because of the fight over health care, and he has very little political capital right now. So Republicans feel it is in vogue to criticize this president.

And then lastly, you have to also remember the fact that the president being on vacation in Hawaii, it’s much different than being in Texas. Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place. And I think those images, the optics, hurt President Obama very badly.

Hawaii is an enigma wrapped up inside a riddle. Just a couple weeks ago, when an Alaskan named Sarah Palin visited, Hawaii was as American as meth labs and teen pregnancy. Now, when Obama visits the state in which he was born, Hawaii is all “foreign” and “exotic.”

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148 replies
  1. 1
    Sister Machine Gun of Quiet Harmony says:

    That’s because Hawaii is actually part of Indonesia.. or is it Kenya? I get so confused.

  2. 2
    eastriver says:

    It’s a known fact that Hawaiians don’t keep pets. Certainly not cats or dogs. And until there’s photographic evidence otherwise, I’m sticking by my knee-jerk decision.

    So there.

  3. 3
    Bruce (formerly Steve S.) says:

    A black guy named Hussein who vacations in Hawaii will never be President, mark my words.

  4. 4
    burnspbesq says:

    You can’t win. No matter how many zombies you kill, they make more.

  5. 5
    dr. bloor says:

    It’s not even original douchery. TEH HAWAII IS TOOOO EXZOTIC! is Cokie Roberts’s schtick.

  6. 6
    Dreggas says:

    I wish I could say I was surprised about this. Sadly I am not surprised in the least. Just plain unreal.

    What makes it even worse is if obama goes on the attack and calls these rat-fuckers out on all this bullshit the narrative becomes “he’s uppity” or “he’s just blaming everyone else for his problems” even if the problems were inherited. The media will pounce and we’ll be subjected to endless headlines about the president having a chip on his shoulder.

  7. 7
    cleek says:

    And then lastly, you have to also remember the fact that the president being on vacation in Hawaii, it’s much different than being in Texas.

    to many people in the US, TX would feel like a foreign country. while Alaska would feel like another planet.

  8. 8
    El Cid says:

    Yeah! FUCK HAWAII! Just ’cause you’re a damn state don’t make you a REAL AMERICAN!

    You’re not REAL AMERICA unless your state waged a war to destroy the Union. Then you’re acceptably patriotic.

  9. 9
    KCinDC says:

    So Republicans are just now feeling it’s “in vogue” to criticize the president? Seems to me we’ve had a hell of a lot of out-of-season criticism in the past year, then.

  10. 10
    slag says:

    Just a couple weeks ago, when an Alaskan named Sarah Palin visited, Hawaii was as American as meth labs and teen pregnancy.

    There’s far too much awesome in that sentence.

  11. 11
    Leelee for Obama says:

    Yeah, saw this this AM and threw a pillow at the Romney-bot’s face. What a completely full of shit creature he is. At the least, he admitted De Mints’s optics were not good either, but not as bad as coming from Hawaii-what the hell was Obama thinking? Didn’t the mad scientists who created him realize they should have had him born in KANSAS? Seriously, everybody knows that Hawaii is just too foreign and exotic for a President to come from, especially if he’s a Sockalist-Stalinsit-Fascist-Half-Black First time ever when the terrorists are trying to kill us all President!

    Talk about a lack of planning. He’s just like Bush!

    Can you tell I’m done with these assholes yet?

  12. 12
    Max says:

    Damn Obama! If only we had known he was from Hawaii before we elected him in with a large mandate!

    Why didn’t someone like Cokie Roberts warn us…

  13. 13

    Can we just kill that word “optics.” It’s such bullsh*t. But this is the Village.

    BTW, I hear those filthy Hawaeeans put their emopants on one leg at a time like those Texans.

  14. 14
    Tonybrown74 says:

    Ah, as Digby would say, Cokie’s Law has gone mainstream (in the Village, that is).

  15. 15
    El Cid says:

    Also, FUCK ELITIST NEW YORK, it’s not Real America, unless Republicans are talking about 9/11, for which the city gets a temporary pass,

  16. 16
    Persia says:

    Weren’t we just sucking Hawaii’s metaphorical cock over Pearl Harbor the other day?

  17. 17
    stevie314159 says:

    There is nothing more American than BASEBALL.

    Little League World Series winners:

    2005 – Ewa Beach, Hawaii
    2008 – Waipiʻo, Hawaii

    Take that, Cokie Roberts.

  18. 18
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    Where has all this “Hawaii is so foreign and exotic” bullshit come from? Are these dumbfuck retards aware that its a state? They speak English there and everything!

  19. 19
    beltane says:

    We’re back to this shit? Thanks Cokie.

    I’d bet anything that if given a choice, the overwhelming majority of Americans would prefer to spend their vacation in Hawaii than in Texas.

  20. 20
    jwb says:

    @cleek: If Gov. Goodhair had his way, Texas would be a foreign country.

  21. 21
    inkadu says:

    Let’s see how many Republicans will vote to sell Hawaii to the Japanese (who already own most of it). I’ll trade it for Puerto Rico.

    And attacking Obama is always en vogue with republicans.

  22. 22
    El Cid says:

    I demand to see Hawaii’s long form vault copy statehood certificate.

  23. 23
    Chyron HR says:

    Well, shit, man, the Governor of Hawaii is a vocal secessionist. Could they BE any more un-American?

  24. 24
    eastriver says:

    @El Cid:

    Please leave my city out of this. El Syd and Nancy.

  25. 25
    soonergrunt says:

    @El Cid:
    El Cid FTW

  26. 26

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    Where has all this “Hawaii is so foreign and exotic” bullshit come from?

    Obviously, you don’t recall the infamous “Brady Bunch Hawaii Bound” episode, do you?

    that’s where Cokie and this Moran form all their opinions about ferners.

  27. 27

    This is exactly why no one cared when the Japanese bombed the shit out of Pearl Harbor!

    Maybe my Outrage Engine is broken (or I took too much cold medicine) but the solemn regurgitation of something that was stupid when Cokie Roberts said it is making me laugh so hard it hurts.

  28. 28
    schrodinger's cat says:

    @arguingwithsignposts:
    They can use the word optics but can they prove laws of reflection and refraction using Maxwell’s equations?That’s what optics reminds me off, that and the tedious experiments involving an optical bench in Junior lab.

  29. 29
    themann1086 says:

    @Chyron HR: I see what you did there

  30. 30
    Col. Klink says:

    Par for the course. Remember when Arkansas was not real Merika but a giant corrupt meth lab for 8 years when Clinton was in office. The media really is destroying our democracy.

  31. 31
    RSA says:

    Hawaii to many [stupid] Americans seems like a foreign place.

    Fixed.

  32. 32
    Midnight Marauder says:

    And then lastly, you have to also remember the fact that the president being on vacation in Hawaii, it’s much different than being in Texas. Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place.

    Right. Because it’s not like Hawaii was ever its own independent nation, with an active number of citizens who would still very much like to secede from the Union and have their own kingdom again.

    For the life of me, I will never understand this whole “HAWAII IS DIFFERENT” line of attack. Is the barrel that empty with other nonsense that this is the only thing left? Really?!

  33. 33
    K. Grant says:

    @Dreggas: Bingo. This is exactly why Obama can never deliver the haymakers the left wants him to throw – because the moment he does, the media will go into overdrive about him being exactly like Rev. Wright. He will turn into the ‘angry black man’ in less than two seconds, and for the next three years that is all that we will hear.

    I sometimes wonder if the Obamas sit at the kitchen table in the White House and wonder if it was really worth all of this abject knavery.

  34. 34

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    This is exactly why no one cared when the Japanese Germans bombed the shit out of Pearl Harbor!

    Fixed. But it wasn’t over!

  35. 35
    Tonybrown74 says:

    @FormerSwingVoter:

    Cokie Roberts mentioned this during the campaign, when Obama went on vacation (I believe). She actually complained on one of the Sunday talk shows that he should have gone to someplace more American, like Myrtle Beach, and that Hawaii just sounded too exotic and far away for middle America, or somesuch …

    Hence the term Cokie’s Law.

    It’s no different than when the Clintons used to vacation in Martha’s Vineyard, which would slay me since most of the media elites have vacation homes there.

  36. 36
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @cleek:

    to many people in the US, TX would feel like a foreign country.

    Hell, I’m a Texan, and all too often, Texas feels like a foreign country to me.

  37. 37
    The Moar You Know says:

    Optics, guys! It’s all optics!

    Usurper “Blackity-Black” Hussein Obama:
    heroin, ACORN, rapin’ white wimmin, steal from the rich whites and give to the darkies poor darkies. ACORN!!!!

    President “Pure As Ivory Soap And Twice As White” Palin: meth, teen pregnancy, AMERICA FUCK YEAH, shove Old Man McCain down a flight of stairs cut taxes on the rich patriotic white folks and give to the Sarah Palin Clothing PAC patriotic white folks.

    What part of these optics don’t you get?

  38. 38
    Arclite says:

    Hawaii will never be a “real” American state to Republicans because we’re only 25% white.

  39. 39
  40. 40

    He might be a Romney-bot but he’s quoting, almost verbatim, from the Book of Lady Cokie, Grand Duchess of the Village.

  41. 41
    Eric U. says:

    I really don’t understand what the republicans hope to achieve with this line of attack. People know that it doesn’t really cost much to go on vacation in Hawaii.

    Furthermore, I don’t think people are really freaking out about the Detroit attack, even thought there are people trying to get them to do so. I suspect that almost any attack where the only result is that a guy burns off his nuts in a failed attempt would provoke a similar lack of interest. Failure doesn’t provide a good platform for fear.

  42. 42
    Persia says:

    @Tonybrown74: I wouldn’t be surprised if more Americans have been to Hawaii as a visitor than Martha’s Vineyard, especially after you factor in military service.

  43. 43
    Linkmeister says:

    @eastriver: My deeply-missed Tigger begs to differ.

    We haven’t had the heart to get a new dog since her passing a year ago, but she was Hawai’i born-and-raised and lived a good long 16-year-life.

  44. 44
    El Cid says:

    Next vacation Obama should spend by laying wreaths upon every memorial to Confederate soldiers. This would be a vacation for True Americans.

  45. 45
    Joe Beese says:

    When you think of a Hawaiian, what skin color do you picture?

    “Exotic” as usual a code word for “ni@@er”.

  46. 46
    Tsulagi says:

    it’s much different than being in Texas. Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place.

    I’m sure the “100% of Islamic extremists are Muslims” congressman would agree.

    You know, not that many years ago I would have thought dipshits like this one at least giggled privately after writing or saying obvious partisan loony bullshit like this. But now, really do think some of them are that retarded and actually believe whatever randomly tumbles out of their mouth.

  47. 47
    mandarama says:

    Jesus, I wish I’d had other things to do today, like clean the cat boxes or stand in line at the DMV or get a root canal. Because every thread today has made me hate most people with the fire of a thousand suns.

  48. 48
    cat48 says:

    His political capital is returning…..in Gallup Daily, he was down to 47 at the beginning of the month. The last week he has climbed to the 50’s…..today he is at 53. Teh brown folks still like him–blacks 93, Hispanics 77. It is teh white folks like Madden bringing him down….

  49. 49
    Chat Noir says:

    Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place.

    So, like, I won’t need my passport to visit? Kewl.

  50. 50
    KCinDC says:

    I really don’t understand what the republicans hope to achieve with this line of attack. People know that it doesn’t really cost much to go on vacation in Hawaii.

    In 2004 they didn’t seem to have any trouble making people suddenly think that windsurfing was something only out-of-touch elitist Richie Riches did, so I don’t see why it wouldn’t work the same way now.

  51. 51
    El Cid says:

    Do they put out a map of what the American parts of America are?

  52. 52

    @cat48:

    It is teh white folks like Madden bring him down …

    In more ways than one. I’m sure this is what Obama admin folks think when they hear this stuff.

  53. 53
    El Cid says:

    @KCinDC: Shit, they didn’t have any problem mocking a Vietnam veteran with purple bandaids versus an Andover cheerleader national guard duty avoider.

  54. 54
    Mike G says:

    Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place.

    But a former governor from that other non-contiguous state is more salt-of-the-earth Real Murkan(TM) than anybody on the east or west coasts. VillageDoubleSpeak makes a lot of sense.

    Who the fuck are these ‘journalist’ blow-dried bobble-heads that find Hawaii so exotically foreign? Are they really that provincial and little-travelled, or just pandering to the rednecks and hicks who’ve never gone further than a tankful of gas from their double-wide?

  55. 55

    Massachusetts is to many Americans a hotbed of forced gay sex and so ci a list health care. I say we regard anyone who has ever held a position of authority in that state with intense suspicion.

    I demand to see Hawaii’s long form vault copy statehood certificate.

    Please note: When I die laughing because the birfers are attempting to prove it isn’t really a state, it will be El Cid’s fault.

    Hmm. Maybe this is the reason for some of the Hawaii hate:

    In the 1950s the power of the plantation owners was finally broken in a non-violent revolution by descendants of immigrant laborers. Because they were born in a U.S. territory, they were legal U.S. citizens. The Hawaii Republican Party, which was strongly supported by the plantation owners, was voted out of office. The Democratic Party of Hawaii dominated state politics for 40 years. Expecting to gain full voting rights, Hawaii’s residents actively campaigned for statehood.

    And their flag features the Union Jack. Also.

  56. 56
    mandarama says:

    And if I were Hawaiian, I’d be calling every single news outlet that runs shit like this and screaming my head off about it.

    Jesus. I need Tums or something. I’m in physical pain here.

  57. 57
    GambitRF says:

    @stevie314159:
    There is nothing more American than BASEBALL.

    Little League World Series winners:

    2005 – Ewa Beach, Hawaii
    2008 – Waipiʻo, Hawaii

    Take that, Cokie Roberts.

    Just means the LLWS was won by furrigners those two years. We need to inject some red-blooded American kids in Nebraska full of HGH to ensure that this doesn’t happen again.

  58. 58
    Legalize says:

    No matter where Obama is from, goes, thinks about, reads about, or talks about, that place is un-American by definition. Doesn’t matter. It will always be and it will never be challenged. Don’t watch CNN. No good comes from it ever.

  59. 59
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Steve Balboni:

    Lady Cokie, Grand Duchess of the Village

    Wait, now I’m totally confuzzled. I always thought that was Nooner’s title. There can’t be two GDVs, can there? Naaaah . . . .

  60. 60
    memory bank says:

    Yeh, vacationing in Hawaii is not as American as vacationing on a livestock-free “ranch” that you bought just before running for President and sold as soon as you left office.

  61. 61
    Boots Day says:

    Has anyone ever once accused Alaska of being “foreign”? I’m sure many more Americans have been to Hawaii than have been to Alaska.

  62. 62
    Persia says:

    @Boots Day: Alaska is Republican, duh. And there are brown people and Asians in Hawaii. Also.

  63. 63
    El Cid says:

    @Legalize: What you’re saying, then, is that Obama himself is a mobile microverse of un-Americanness, such that where ever he goes becomes temporary un-American territory with his presence, and then, maybe, when he leaves, its true Americanness may return, albeit likely in a damaged, weakened state.

  64. 64

    @El Cid: Here’s one.

    And do I need to mention that if Obama didn’t vacation in the state where he was born and spent much of his childhood, the bobbleheads would wring their hands and wail because Obama was slapping Hawaii in the face, throwing it under the bus and forcing his security detail down the throat of whatever state he did visit? (Sprinkled with furrow-browed wondering if it was evidence of a deep hatred of his whitey grandparents, natch.)

    Didn’t think so.

  65. 65
    GambitRF says:

    Unlike Hawaii, Washington D.C. isn’t even a state. Doesn’t have any representation in Congress. I’m guessing the only thing that’s stopped the villagers from asking why Obama chooses to live in some bizarro un-American land is because all of the Villagers live there too.

  66. 66
    Linkmeister says:

    @mandarama: We used to humorously offer “Statehood Recognition Awards” to people who asked stupid questions like “What kind of currency do you use there?”*

    Nowadays we just shake our heads in dismay.

    *For the record, it’s the US dollar, not the renminbi or the yen.

  67. 67
    Dave Fud says:

    Another rhetorical twist in the interview: “this” president. This president implies just another one in a long line, while “the” president is more respectful. May be subtle, but they never miss the chance to twist things a bit.

  68. 68
    cyntax says:

    @Linkmeister:

    *For the record, it’s the US dollar, not the renminbi or the yen.

    Well, on the bright side, even if they’re getting the currency wrong, at least they aren’t asking if you still use trading shells… baby steps.

  69. 69
    KCinDC says:

    @GambitRF, I’m pretty sure a lot of the “DC” Villagers actually live in Maryland or Virginia. They wouldn’t want to have to give up congressional representation or local government. Plus DC is too urban for them.

  70. 70
    soonergrunt says:

    @KCinDC:

    Plus DC is too -urban- black for them.

    There. Fixed it for you.

  71. 71
    eemom says:

    in solidarity with my poor, hurt, Hawaiian, political-capitally-bankrupt President, I have dug out my pre-election Women for Obama t-shirt and am proudly wearing it today.

    Take THAT, O-bashers.

  72. 72

    @Linkmeister: What? Damn it, I’ve been saving up these cowrie shells for nuthin’!

  73. 73
    rob! says:

    Christ, the GOP is so busy labeling large swaths of this country “foreign” and “not really America” that I can’t keep up. I may have to start telling my friends when they mail me stuff to my NJ residence, its going to be considered foreign delivery!

  74. 74
    chuck says:

    I promise to rifle-butt the next chattering moron on the teevee who says “optics” to mean “appearance”.

  75. 75
    KCinDC says:

    @soonergrunt, I thought that translation was well known enough that it didn’t need to be spelled out.

  76. 76
    liberty60 says:

    @El Cid:

    You’re not REAL AMERICA unless your state waged a war to destroy the Union. Then you’re acceptably patriotic.

    And whose Governor is even now making noises about seceding.

  77. 77
    licensed to kill time says:

    @El Cid:

    Here’s another linky to the US as seen by Californians and the world as seen by Americans. Note that Hawaii isn’t even on the CA radar.

    Yes, I know your question wasn’t en serio

  78. 78
    Tomlinson says:

    Hawaii to many Americans seems like a foreign place. And I think those images, the optics, hurt President Obama very badly.

    Yeah, but not because it’s mysterious, dipshit.

    Because we’re jealous. It’s fookin’ cold outside.

  79. 79

    @Siubuhan

    Wait, now I’m totally confuzzled. I always thought that was Nooner’s title. There can’t be two GDVs, can there? Naaaah . . . .

    Nooner’s title is Our Lady of the Magic Dolphin.

  80. 80
    Violet says:

    But don’t forget, Guam is totally American. Especially when the child laborers make cheap t-shirts. USA! USA!

  81. 81
    soonergrunt says:

    @KCinDC: It was just fine for you, me, and other Balloon-Juicers (I refuse to refer to us as BJ’ers) but for people like pj, makewi, and BoB, you need to spell these things out. They’re rather stupid, you know.

  82. 82
    Tomlinson says:

    @Linkmeister:

    *For the record, it’s the US dollar, not the renminbi or the yen.

    SEND US CRACK SEED.

    Maybe that will supplant the crack it seems like we’re smoking.

  83. 83
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    And then lastly, you have to also remember the fact that the president being on vacation in Hawaii, it’s much different than being in Texas.

    Speaking as a Texan who’s been to Hawaii, this is pure, unadulterated horse shit. Texas has its share of natural, dare I say exotic beauty, from Big Bend to the Hill Country to the bayous. The only thing that makes Hawaii “exotic” is the fact you can’t just pack the kids and the dogs in an RV and drive all the way there.

  84. 84
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @cleek:

    to many people in Texas the US, TX would feel like is a foreign country. while Alaska would feel like another planet.

    Fixited. Texas could certainly lead another secession movement and I’d gladly support it.

  85. 85
    Tomlinson says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey:

    Speaking as a Texan who’s been to Hawaii

    They let you return from such a mysterious place? Were you accepted immediately or were they suspicious of you for some period of time?

  86. 86
    Mike E says:

    @dr. bloor:
    Any idea is as good as any other to a Movement Conservative, so no copyright laws need apply. Everything belongs to them anyway, get used to it!

  87. 87
    mistersnrub says:

    It is all about the “images” and the “optics” to these birdbrains.

  88. 88
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @slag:

    Which is why BJ remains so great.

  89. 89
    KCinDC says:

    The only thing that makes Hawaii “exotic” is the fact you can’t just pack the kids and the dogs in an RV and drive all the way there.

    That’s going to be a surprise for the teabaggers who’ve chartered buses to head there to protest the Soshalist Usurper.

  90. 90
    Undisclosed Location says:

    So Cheney slithered out from whatever rock he was under to criticize President Obama. Considering how much of this $hit$torm was of his creating…

    Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) blasted Cheney today, saying “that the apparent leaders of the al Qaeda cell in Yemen were 2 terrorists who were released by Vice President Cheney in secret.” “I think there’s a level of accountability that has to be levied personally on the vice president,” said Massa.

    I want to see Cheney in the Hague. Or in an urn. Either way – it’s all good. He’ll probably still find a way to make appearances on Faux Nooz

  91. 91

    @mistersnrub: Which is why Mitt Romney Sarah Palin Charlie Crist John Ensign John Thune is the darling of the hour. He looks good (to Republicans at least) and can utter the right words (to Republicans) without too much prompting.

  92. 92
    donovong says:

    Speaking of wankers, Sullivan has now “responded” to Mr. Cole re: Naplitano –

    http://andrewsullivan.theatlan.....ility.html

    Makes no more sense now that it ever has.

  93. 93
    comrade scott's agenda of rage says:

    @mandarama:

    This. Again.

    Sigh. We’re doomed.

  94. 94
    Beauzeaux says:

    I have to credit Obama for not pretending to “clear brush” at a fake-ass ranch purchased expressly for photo ops during his presidency.

  95. 95
    mcd410x says:

    There isn’t enough news to fill 24 hours so they invent shit. Jesus Puppy, they pray for things like bomb-in-the-underpants terrorists so they’ll have something to talk about.

    Serious question: which gets more federal $$, Alaska or Hawaii?

  96. 96
    Brian J says:

    No offense to Texas, but my guess is, the majority of people who aren’t used to the way things are down there would find it as weird, if not weirder, than they would Hawaii. So yes, this guy is a dumbass.

    You know, maybe it’s because I’m just an asshole, but if the security issues wouldn’t be so large, and if wouldn’t screw with too many people in damaging ways, I’d like Obama to start taking trips just to fuck with people. He could move to a cabin in the woods for a week and demand he be addressed as Kaczynski. He could parade himself around a nudist beach, wearing only a hat that demanded people admire his endowment. He could go to Russia and start to say, “You know, maybe the Soviets were on to something!” And so on. I mean, after all, he wouldn’t be serious with any of this crap, and it’d be funny to see dummies like this guy piss themselves collectively.

  97. 97
    jenniebee says:

    If we found out that Obama prefers Colgate toothpaste there would be an analyst on CNN within the hour solemnly declaring that Colgate sounds too much like ivy league elitism to be something “most Americans” could approve of, and switching to Aim would send a clearer message to the terrorists.

    That is all.

  98. 98
    Waynski says:

    @eastriver post 24. This. I’m on the Hudson side.

  99. 99
    KCinDC says:

    @donovong, I think Sully is a great believer in the Evil Overlord school of management, in which you kill some underlings whenever anything goes wrong in order to motivate the survivors.

  100. 100
    Stooleo says:

    Makes no more sense now that it ever has.

    If Sully had comments on his blog, I doubt he’d be the stupid fucker he is today.

  101. 101
    Dean Wormer says:

    @arguingwithsignposts:

    I thought I told Neidermeyer to deal with you, young man.

  102. 102
    Sentient Puddle says:

    @donovong: Ugh. That reply still made no sense. Here’s how I parsed it out:

    … but in my view, … someone needs to take the fall. That person need not be directly personally responsible for the mistake, …

    I think I can let that stand and make my point without further comment.

  103. 103
    ajr22 says:

    Obama “I have cured cancer!!”

    Republicans “Who do you think you are playing god?”

  104. 104
    Tonal Crow says:

    Hawaii is a state, and GOPistan is the Shadow in the EastSouth.

  105. 105
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    @Tomlinson:

    We snuck back in. Late at night. While the few people who could have stopped us were outside across the parking lot getting their nicotine fix (one of the advantages of flying into Austin).

  106. 106
    Original Lee says:

    @KCinDC: This. Plus LOLs.

  107. 107
    Rhoda says:

    Wow. Someone needs to netflix these bitches Gidget Goes Hawaiian.

  108. 108
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    @Brian J:

    No offense to Texas, but my guess is, the majority of people who aren’t used to the way things are down there would find it as weird, if not weirder, than they would Hawaii.

    No offense taken here. We’re pretty fucked up in many unique and interesting ways.

  109. 109
  110. 110
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @El Cid:

    Next vacation Obama should spend by laying wreaths upon every memorial to Confederate soldiers. This would be a vacation for True Americans.

    Fuck that shit. My ancestors fought at Gettysburg, Spotsylvania Courthouse, and Peterburg, on the side that won the fucking war. I’d like to take a vaction to piss on the grave of every Confederate soldier, since their asshole descendants refuse to admit that they got their asses kicked and have spent the last 100 years acting like they are the ones who won. Seeing as how their memory is that defective, next time, we give Sherman nukes and let him do the job properly I say. The South can rise again from a radioactive hole in the ground.

  111. 111
    OriGuy says:

    Round-trip from Chicago to Honolulu: $576
    Round-trip from Chicago to Anchorage: $528
    Cost of leaving Real America: $48
    Avoiding Alaska in January? Priceless.

  112. 112
    Tomlinson says:

    @Brian J:

    I’d like Obama to start taking trips just to fuck with people.

    I’d like to see him just start to fuck with people.

    Open every military gun range in the country to people who wanted to play with automatic weapons. Declare that henceforth he’s eating nothing but watermelon. Personally buy a copy of Palin’s book for every library in the country.

    Like that. See if he could get some heads to explode.

  113. 113
    Garrigus Carraig says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Damn.

  114. 114
    Ash says:

    Statewide, Hawaii has more Wal-Marts than Alaska. Alaska is therefore the least American and most exotic state in the union.

  115. 115
    licensed to kill time says:

    Well, I have to say there are parts of America that seem like a foreign country to me. Generally it’s those square states – if you’re a coastie of the left or right persuasion, those flyover states are just plain weird. Apologies to any square-staters here on BJ, but man if you’ve ever done a coast to coast road trip you have experienced some serious strange brew in the middle bits…

    Just sayin’.

    What that Madden guy said is just stupid though.

  116. 116
    Stefan says:

    Fuck that shit. My ancestors fought at Gettysburg, Spotsylvania Courthouse, and Peterburg, on the side that won the fucking war. I’d like to take a vaction to piss on the grave of every Confederate soldier, since their asshole descendants refuse to admit that they got their asses kicked and have spent the last 100 years acting like they are the ones who won. Seeing as how their memory is that defective, next time, we give Sherman nukes and let him do the job properly I say. The South can rise again from a radioactive hole in the ground.

    This. Also.

  117. 117
    Ivan Ivanovich Renko says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Jaysus, and I thought I hated the neo-confederate fucks. Nicely said, sir.

  118. 118
    Ash says:

    if you’re a coastie of the left or right persuasion, those flyover states are just plain weird.

    Eh, I’ve lived in both fly-over states (ND, SD, MN, central IL) and the coasts (went to college in Boston, spent a year in LA).

    There’s pretty much weird shit everywhere.

  119. 119
    asiangrrlMN says:

    Snicker. You guys are the best. Speaking as someone who is in an actual foreign country that resembles Hawaii in many ways, fuck you Madden from the uncanny valley. Fuck you with a rusty pitchfork, a Garden Weasel, and a weed whacker simultaneously in all three of your orifices (yeah, it counts, fellahs). I am fucking sick of this meme, but I agree that anything Obama does will be considered exotic.

    @El Cid: Oh my god, El Cid, you have outdone yourself with this one! mobile microverse of un-Americanness. How do you think of these things?

    @eemom: I have an Obama/Biden button with me. I shall wear it today. I wish I had my Asian Pacific American Women for Obama button with me. Damn.

  120. 120
    Mike E says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ:
    FTW, from here in Mayberry RFC

  121. 121

    @donovong:
    Sully’s British youth must have missed all those IRA bombings. Who lost their jobs over that?
    “They’ve had eight years to figure this out,” yes, and Napolitano has only been on the job for less than one of those.

    Sully is a true wanker.

  122. 122
    Doug says:

    @slag: sentences like that are the reason i read this blog

  123. 123
    keestadoll says:

    Kevin forgot to mention the biggest problem with President Obama going to Hawaii: he can’t see the continental U.S. from there, and thus cannot maintain a working relationship with it as Sarah Palin (mother of weary youth Bristol and nooner partner to Levi) so clearly demonstrated was necessary to her relationship with Russia.

  124. 124
    Catsy says:

    @Persia: Unlike all the indigenous brown people in Alaska, for example.

  125. 125
    El Cid says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Y’all know I was just jokin’ ’bout that, right?

  126. 126
    The Moar You Know says:

    Fuck that shit. My ancestors fought at Gettysburg, Spotsylvania Courthouse, and Peterburg, on the side that won the fucking war. I’d like to take a vaction to piss on the grave of every Confederate soldier, since their asshole descendants refuse to admit that they got their asses kicked and have spent the last 100 years acting like they are the ones who won. Seeing as how their memory is that defective, next time, we give Sherman nukes and let him do the job properly I say. The South can rise again from a radioactive hole in the ground.

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: As someone whose ancestors fought on the losing side of that war, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pee on their graves. However, the rest of your sentiment I agree with. 100%.

  127. 127
    FormerSwingVoter says:

    @Tonybrown74:

    Have these “Hawaii is exotic” people ever actually been there? It’s Florida with better drinks, worse shirts, and an inexplicable fondness for Spam.

  128. 128
    Comrade Luke says:

    He was standing in front of a fucking curtain and behind a podium.

    For all the Republicans know, he could have been using the same studio where they staged the moon landing.

  129. 129

    Hey, Hawaii is a state where the previous government used to practice human sacrifice.

    So, there you go.

  130. 130
    ThatLeftTurnInABQ says:

    @The Moar You Know:

    No offence intended to present company and others of similar ilk. I’ve just had my fill of a political system dominated by southerners for the last half century, seeing as how the results haven’t been much to brag about. I’m a patient person, but I’ve been waiting 40+ years for southerners to lead, follow, or get out of the way. As my grandfather used to say “I’ve had my fill, and now I’m full, and now you’re gonna hear about it“. Must be the Scotch-Irish side of the family speaking.

    @El Cid – yeah, I knew you were joking.

  131. 131
    OriGuy says:

    @DonBelacquaDelPurgatorio: Yeah, they used to throw them in those volcanoes that Bobby Jindel doesn’t think we need to monitor.

    I’d suggest a few people that could be thrown into a volcano, but I’m afraid Madame Pele would just spit them right out.

  132. 132
    Shell says:

    Where has all this “Hawaii is so foreign and exotic” bullshit come from? Are

    Listen, there are some idiots in this country who think New Mexico is a foreign land.

  133. 133
    D.N. Nation says:

    These giggly idiots got dumptrucked in Election ’08 by, among other sins, pretending like half of America wasn’t America. If they choose to do that again, I say let them ride the crazy train straight into the ground.

    Fuck these clowns.

  134. 134
    Mike in NC says:

    She actually complained on one of the Sunday talk shows that he should have gone to someplace more American, like Myrtle Beach, and that Hawaii just sounded too exotic and far away for middle America, or somesuch …

    I can almost see Myrtle Beach from my house, and it sucks. Full of fat rednecks and stupid old people who can’t drive. But I’d sell my soul to Dick Fucking Cheney if he could magically transport me to Waikiki. Man, I loved Honolulu…

  135. 135
    Shell says:

    kicked and have spent the last 100 years acting like they are the ones who won.

    I always love how it’s so often called ‘The War of Northern Aggression’. Gosh, who fired on Fort Sumter? I just don’t know….

  136. 136
    Mike E says:

    @Shell:
    Or, The Great Unpleasantness

  137. 137
    SiubhanDuinne says:

    @Shell:

    Listen, there are some idiots in this country who think New Mexico is a foreign land.

    No kidding. This happened in the run-up to the Atlanta Olympics (per my own memory, and reinforced by this from the NYTimes of July 21, 1996:

    http://www.nytimes.com/1996/07.....gewanted=2

    Diplomatic Immunity

    People who drive through the deep shade of midtown Atlanta may do a double-take when they pass by one house there. A sign out front proclaims it “The Consulate of New Mexico,” prompting some to wonder why New Mexico gets a consulate while Mississippi does not.

    It is just a joke, of course, inspired by one fan’s experience with the Olympic ticket office. In February, Wade Miller, a computer systems analyst from Santa Fe, called the Atlanta Committee for the Olympic Games to order tickets.

    The operator told him that she could not sell tickets to those who live outside the United States. Mr. Miller tried to explain that New Mexico is a part of the United States. It has been for 84 years.

    He was passed on to a supervisor, who informed him that while she understood that New Mexico was a “territory,” she still could not send any tickets outside the United States. Then she offered to give him the phone number for the Puerto Rican Olympic Committee.

    Months later, when Bob Romano, a resident of midtown Atlanta, was visiting New Mexico, the New Mexicans retaliated. “They asked me for my passport,” he said.

    So, as a goof, he opened the New Mexican consulate at his house, complete with brochures.

    “I just think the Atlanta Committee for the Olympic Games is taking itself a little too seriously,” Mr. Romano said. “Let’s just enjoy this.”

  138. 138
    r€nato says:

    Great post John, and great comments too.

  139. 139
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    First, the bot typically underestimated the sensibility of all the middle Americans who’ve been to Hawaii and had no problem finding a McDonald’s.

    Second, I think he should keep pushing that “Hawaii ain’t really Amurican” crap and see the reaction he gets from all the military families and vets living in the state…who’d be happy to show him the Punchbowl Cemetery, the Arizona monument, and the names of Hawaiians who gave their lives in Iraq.

  140. 140
    D.N. Nation says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    Second, I think he should keep pushing that “Hawaii ain’t really Amurican” crap and see the reaction he gets from all the military families and vets living in the state…who’d be happy to show him the Punchbowl Cemetery, the Arizona monument, and the names of Hawaiians who gave their lives in Iraq.

    At that point, the Bot will go to the usual Bobo/MustacheOfUnderstanding song-and-dance: You’re taking it too seriously, the generalizations are important anyway, “collective nonsense,” who are you anyway?, etc., etc.

  141. 141
    stinkwrinkle says:

    @ThatLeftTurnInABQ: Hear, hear!!

  142. 142
    Viva BrisVegas says:

    How about a contest to determine the least and most “American” state. People could text to vote in categories such as which state was the one most objectively pro-terrorist, or which state contained the most real Americans, or which state killed the most Union soldiers during the War for State Rights.

    But it should be held a neutral venue, say like Fox News.

  143. 143
    CalD says:

    Just a couple weeks ago, when an Alaskan named Sarah Palin visited, Hawaii was as American as meth labs and teen pregnancy.

    LOL! This is why I love the Balloon Juice. What a great line.

  144. 144
    TenguPhule says:

    But I’d sell my soul to Dick Fucking Cheney if he could magically transport me to Waikiki.

    JFCNTZYM, aim higher. At least hold out for Ala Moana.

  145. 145
    Brick Oven Bill says:

    Remember…

    When John Kerry married for money it was disgusting

    When John McCain married for money it was endearing.

  146. 146
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    Wow, Hawaii doesn’t seem to agree with Limbaugh:

    HONOLULU – Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was brought by ambulance to the hospital here on Wednesday after experiencing chest pains, according to a local television station.

  147. 147
    Ruemara says:

    Dude, president’s black. Ergo, he’s wrong even when he’s right. ’nuff said.

  148. 148
    slippy says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Yea really. What’s Limbaugh doing outside of America? Doesn’t he love our country? And isn’t his favorite vacation spot the Dominican Republic?

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