Have a Happy New Year, or the Hairless Monkey and His Little Rat Dog Get It

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You have your orders. Have a Happy New Year. My life depends on it.

Also, since we did not vote on comments of the year this year (some idiot forgot to run the poll), I am using my near dictatorial powers to choose the top three.

The bronze goes to Cbear:

Yeah, this Michael Jackson coverage is way over the top.

You’d think we lost Tim Russert or something.

The silver goes to Beltane:

The modern conservative movement is a glorified quest to reach the absolute zero of humanity. Already, the true believers have largely lost the ability to communicate in standard English. Another turn of the spiral will find them unable to perform simple functions such as driving (traffic signs are kind of communist if you think about it) and preparing food (that lettuce was picked by Mexicans and lord knows what they’ve done to it).

The teabagger protests of the future will feature partially clothed, excrement covered fat people shrieking incomprehensible gibberish. It will be the Woodstock of the damned.

And the comment of the year goes to… Xecky Gilchrist:

Seriously, the Republican nomination race in ‘08 was a metaphorical lineup of oiled posers at Venice Beach flexing for the lunatics passing by.

Honorable mention goes to AKADad for offering this up two hours after Michael Jackson died:

I heard Michael Jackson is to be cremated and have his ashes spread out into sandboxes, so children can still play with him.

Too soon?

Thanks for playing.








Another Open Thread

Ten years ago today, you heard this song so much you wanted to kill yourself:








A Thing of Beauty

This Chris Matthews quote is a Palinesque work of art:

MATTHEWS: And I think we have got to get serious about catching terrorists, not just catching weapons. I‘m waiting for the terrorist who knows kung fu or something that gets on an airplane without a weapon. God knows what that is going to be like.

Hey, Gerald, happy new year, even under this circumstance.

Yes, Gerald. I hope you and your loved ones have a Happy New Year, even though we live under the grave threat of KUNG FU FIGHTING TERRORISTS!








One of the Best Days of the Year

Kitchen is cleaned, and I have dinner in the crock pot. Making a pork shoulder with sauerkraut for today and tomorrow, and did something a little different this year. Normally I just cook it in the oven, but instead I am using the crock. Also, on a whim, I cut up a couple turnips and put them in, as well as an apple. We’ll see how that works out. Plan to eat it with some mashed potatoes, black eyed peas, beets, and some greens. I’m still debating whether I should dump a hefeweissen beer in the crock pot.

And then the games. Bowl game after bowl game after bowl game, tons of hoops, and I have no work to do today. And then, while the amateurs go out, get sloppy drunk, vomit on each other and then wait for two hours to try to get a cab home, I will slowly ease myself from the la-z-boy into bed. Does it get any better than this?

My only concern is carpal tunnel from the remote.








Early Morning Open Thread

Has anyone checked to see if Rush Limbaugh ever promised Saddleback Pastor Rick Warren “a little something, just as a memorial” in his will?

Remember — “Is it irresponsible to speculate?… It would be irresponsible not to.”

*****

On a happier note, I think it would be blog-appropriate to have a “Hail and Farewell” post sometime over the weekend where people could brag about the animal companions we’ve gained and memorialize the ones we lost during 2009. But if I’m the one responsible, you’ll probably have link your own photos. Just sayin’…. Mr. Cole?








Open Thread

Rumor has it, there is a football game some of you are interested in tonight.

It basically boils down to who do you want to see happy tomorrow- President Nelson or President McCain.