Just Helping a Sister Out

This Palin book is going to be THE… GREATEST… THING… EVAH:

One of the whackiest claims Sarah Palin makes in her new book is that she agreed to her disastrous interview with Katie Couric — a central event during Campaign 2008 — because a top McCain aide told her Couric had low self esteem, leading Palin to take pity on the CBS anchor.

A McCain adviser I just spoke to adamantly denied the claim, and provided a counter story: Palin was repeatedly urged by McCain aides to prepare for the interview, but refused.

Palin claims in her new book that she agreed to sit down with Couric partly because she felt sorry for her, after senior McCain adviser Nicolle Wallace told her that Couric suffered from self-esteem problems. It’s understandable that Palin would try to deflect blame for the interview: It was a disaster that hastened her unmasking as unqualified for the presidency.

“It’s not true,” the McCain adviser I just reached said, laughing heartily at the claim. “It’s ridiculous.”

I’m positively fucking dying for Mark Halperin’s take on this, because this is devastating news for the Obama campaign.

(via)

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112 replies
  1. 1
    Cat Lady says:

    We’re gonna need a bigger popcorn bowl..

  2. 2
    SpotWeld says:

    Palin and McCain need thier own sitcom.
    It’d be like I Love Lucy, but with a lot less sexual tension

  3. 3
    dmsilev says:

    That certainly has the ring of truth to it, because “low self esteem” perfectly describes someone paid umpteen million dollars a year to be one of the three major network news anchors.

    -dms

  4. 4
    MikeJ says:

    So many people manage to claw their way to the top of the entertainment industry with low self esteem.

  5. 5
    freelancer says:

    Steve Schmidt could get a drive-by twofer today, eviscerating both Palin and Prejean.

    If only he’d pick up his goddamned phone!

  6. 6
    gypsy howell says:

    Hmmm… maybe I WILL get the book-on-tape version. This can only be funnier hearing it all in her own voice.

  7. 7
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Couric: But he’s been in Congress for 26 years. He’s been chairman of the powerful Commerce Committee. And he has almost always sided with less regulation, not more.

    Palin: He’s also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he’s been talking about – the need to reform government.

    Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you’ve said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

    Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

    Couric: I’m just going to ask you one more time – not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

    Palin: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.

    One mo time. You peoples leave Sarah Serendipity alooooone!! She’s fixing to pull another wabbit out of that hat, and WILL get BACK to yuussssseeeeee! Also, too.

  8. 8
    Narcissus says:

    People keep telling me that the Empowerment of Palin is bad for the country, but…I don’t believe it.

    We need her to “write” a book every three to five months.

  9. 9
    John Cole says:

    @gypsy howell: 20 bucks says she quits doing the voice halfway through the book and Sean Parnell has to finish it.

  10. 10
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    Five chapters and no index? I bet the footnotes will be excellent!

    Sarah is the Energizer Bunny Dummy, she keeps going and going and…

  11. 11
  12. 12
    calipygian says:

    I got nuthin’.

    Other than “Run, Sarah, Run!”

  13. 13
    mistersnrub says:

    Aw, Sarah is just so altruistic – she didn’t agree because she was expecting a cupcake interview – she was just helping a friend who was down in the dumps! How noble of her!

    In other news, Ann Coulter says Sarah Palin is not understood by members of the media, who are not authentic Americans. In other words, Jews.

  14. 14
    The Dangerman says:

    @DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal):

    Sarah is the Energizer Bunny Dummy, she keeps going and going and…

    And Carrie is the Dummy Bunnny, she keeps coming and coming and…

  15. 15
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @Cat Lady:

    We’re gonna need a bigger popcorn bowl.

    FTW!

    Also, this comment from the plumline article pretty much nails it:

    Anyone notice how perfect Palin is? It’s just her bad luck to run into so many mistake prone people.

  16. 16
    freelancer says:

    @John Cole:

    My guess was after Chapter 2, and then Morgan Freeman would be brought in.

    Perhaps Harrison Ford to do some voiceovers.

    This is just bizzare!”

  17. 17
    ellaesther says:

    Jezebel reports that Politico reports that Palin is disputing the AP’s reporting… and I linked to Jezebel rather than Politico because of the AWESOME illustration they give the post.

    @John Cole: HA! Also.

  18. 18
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    That’s the way to end the work week. Fucking awesome.

    Verily, we need this woman to run in 2012; I foresee epic funny.

  19. 19
    ellaesther says:

    @Cat Lady: Hey! I shouted out to you earlier! With the whole Levi’s comin’ thing!

  20. 20
    kth says:

    Here’s what happened in all likelihood (for real): Nicole Wallace was not talking with Palin herself, but with someone on Palin’s staff–probably Meg Stapleton. And Wallace suggests, maybe the Governor could do the Couric show to help her with some of her self-esteem issues.

    Only Meg, who is as dumb as Palin herself, was obtuse enough actually to believe it was Couric’s self-esteem, and not Palin’s, to which Wallace was referring.

  21. 21
    Midnight Marauder says:

    @John Cole:

    20 bucks says she quits doing the voice halfway through the book and Sean Parnell has to finish it.

    So you mean midway through Chapter 2?

  22. 22
    ellaesther says:

    Can you imagine being Katie Couric at this moment?

    Like: Is she laughing, or fuming? Or knocking back Manhattans? Or all three?

  23. 23
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @ellaesther:

    I’d say laughing, as is her helicopter and about 2/3 of America. People forget that The Beverly Hillbillies was a very popular teevee show back in the day.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Midnight Marauder says:

    @ellaesther:

    Can you imagine being Katie Couric at this moment?
    Like: Is she laughing, or fuming? Or knocking back Manhattans? Or all three?

    I will take “Laughing Uproariously and Drinking Copious Amounts of Manhattans” for $600, Alex.

  26. 26
    Elizabelle says:

    You know, WE could do an index.

    I mean, if we really wanted to read the damn thing in all its, uh, glory.

    Nicole Wallace, spiteful behavior 186-188, 200-201, 213-217, 250-253, 302-303

    my qualifications for office, 3

    Andrew Sullivan’s baseless claims about Trig’s parentage, 235-249, 257

    Palin family, McCain staff forces luxury clothing upon, 199-201

    John McCain, incidents of forgetfulness, 27, 39, 83-84, 92, 101, 107-109, oh forget it

    Education, Governor Palin’s respect for, 8

  27. 27
    The Dangerman says:

    …leading Palin to take pity on the CBS anchor.

    So, in the process of “writing” the book, I’m sure other options must have been considered when recalling these lies truth. One has to wonder what ideas were rejected as implausible?

  28. 28
    Al Swearengen says:

    Palin has a nasty case of what underlies most really dumb conservative’s personas–a giant infallibility complex.

    As an example look at how conservatives “apologize”. It’s always “I’m sorry if I offended anyone”, which really translates to “Nyah, Nyah, suck it fuckers!” Their shit don’t stink.

  29. 29
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    One thing’s for sure: Sarah Palin bumbling around the country is, really, a sure-fire cure for low self-esteem. “I used to think I was the biggest idiot in the world. Used to.”

  30. 30
    Zifnab says:

    @John Cole: Can we get some sort of over/under on this? What’s the spread?

  31. 31
    ellaesther says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: Ok, you’re the second person in two days to refer to laughing helicopters. I am aware of most BJ traditions, but I appear to have missed a meme. Why are the helicopters laughing now?

  32. 32
    Peter J says:

    A McCain adviser I just spoke to adamantly denied the claim, and provided a counter story: Palin was repeatedly urged by McCain aides to prepare for the interview, but refused.

    Among things I really would like to know:

    Has Sarah Palin actually read her “own” book?

    If so that would obviously mean that she has prepared for the interview circus. Which isn’t the mavericky way to do it.

    Jezebel reports that Politico reports that Palin is disputing the AP’s reporting

    The more likely scenario. Someone tells Palin about the AP story. Palin has no idea. Someone else who has actually read the book tells Palin what the ghostwriter had written. Palin disputes.

    —-

    Best business plan ever, since it seems to be working.

    Phase 1: Don’t prepare
    Phase 2: ?
    Phase 3: Profit

    Also.

  33. 33
    licensed to kill time says:

    @ellaesther:

    If you haven’t read the Michael Gass thread, you must do it now! All will become clear, or you must fax your certs to John Cole immediately.

  34. 34
    JGabriel says:

    Elizabelle:

    You know, WE could do an index.

    The whole non-index angle is overblown. Let’s face it, anyone who wants to find out how often Palin mentions them will just download an electronic and do a word search.

    That said, there is the amusement value, and I do like your take on it.

    .

  35. 35
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @ellaesther:

    Sorry, I thought you were around for that. it comes from a troll a month or so ago blathering about how we shouldn’t be making fun of the Balloon Boy fiasco once it was discovered the boy was alright.. He claimed to be a cop and made a spoofing quip about the helicopters searching for the boy as not laughing about how serious it was.

  36. 36
    Anoniminous says:

    The Cycle:

    1. Palin says/does something stupidly rat-assed ignorant.

    2. It is pointed-out Palin has said/done something stupidly rat-assed ignorant. Many agree.

    3. Eventually Bob, or someone like him, posts Democrats are only saying Palin has said/done something stupidly rat-assed ignorant because they tremble in FEAR at the prospective of a Palin run in 2012.

    4. Many respond either directly or indirectly will variations of “Huh?

    Rinse. Lather. Repeat.

  37. 37
    calipygian says:

    Sarah Palin has lost Ann Althouse:

    Sarah Palin is Dumb

    Of course, Althouse was probably half way through her second bottle of chablis when she wrote that post, but still…if Palin has lost Althouse…

  38. 38
    ellaesther says:

    @licensed to kill time: @General Winfield Stuck: Ah-HA!

    Yes, I was sort of around that day, but I tend to skip by the trolls (laughing!) — so I got the certs, and I got the helicopters, but I think that by the time there was all that laughing going on (I actually just did a “find” on the word “laugh” on that thread, and hoo-dowgie!), I was out!

  39. 39
    beltane says:

    You just know that Megan McCain is dying to give us her two cents on all of this. She’s hinted as much. Cindy McCain must also have some choice words in private. I wish they would share their thoughts.

    And we need an open thread to speculate on whatever terribly damaging thing it is that Levi Johnston says he knows about Palin. I’ll just have to go and assume it has something to do with Bill Kristol being seen leaving her bedroom early one morning.

  40. 40
    calipygian says:

    @beltane: I think it has something to do with a “Stiffler’s mom” kind of situation.

  41. 41
    licensed to kill time says:

    @ellaesther:
    It’s sort of creepy/bizarre that one can google stuff like michael gass balloon juice laughs and come up with exact links.

    Come to think of it, google is creepy/bizarre.

  42. 42
    calipygian says:

    @beltane: Sarah Palin – Levi Johnson Sex Tape!!!

  43. 43
    Peter J says:

    Palin claims in her new book that she agreed to sit down with Couric partly because she felt sorry for her, after senior McCain adviser Nicolle Wallace told her that Couric suffered from self-esteem problems. It’s understandable that Palin would try to deflect blame for the interview: It was a disaster that hastened her unmasking as unqualified for the presidency.

    Palin will continue to blame other people. She’ll blame Lynn Vincent for the bit in the book about Couric’s low self-esteem.

  44. 44
    PurpleGirl says:

    Elizabelle #26: LOL. Great list of subjects.

  45. 45
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @calipygian: That’s so predictable it would be YAWN. Now, Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain. That would be a treat.

  46. 46
    freelancer says:

    @Comrade Darkness:

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  47. 47
    Roger Moore says:

    @beltane:

    I’ll just have to go and assume it has something to do with Bill Kristol being seen leaving her bedroom early one morning.

    I’m guessing it’s something considerably more Springer than that, like it being Levi Johnston who was seen leaving her room one morning, or Todd Palin being seen leaving Bristol’s room, or something equally disturbing. Not, mind you, that you can actually trust anything Levi says. Just because Sarah Failin is a liar doesn’t mean that anyone who says bad stuff about her is telling the truth.

  48. 48
    Demo Woman says:

    Lawyers, Guns and Money had a great write up about Sarah that was linked to on a previous post.

    And when she inevitably makes a fool of herself, she’ll soon enough blame the media. In which case, she’ll have to write a new book complaining about the mistreatment she received from the people who interviewed her about the book written in part to complain about the mistreatment she received from the people who interviewed her during the 2008 campaign.

    Maybe Rich Lowry can convince her to add a centerfold in the next book.

  49. 49
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @freelancer: You need to adjust the costuming on your theatre of the mind.

  50. 50
    HumboldtBlue says:

    Well, I am sure Palin’s book is going to be a hoot, I just can’t until Andrew Sullivan writes a book about his trip to California

  51. 51
    beltane says:

    @calipygian: Sully will not be one bit happy about that. He has quite the crush on Levi. And Rich Lowery will be so jealous.

    Damn, these people are bringing me back to high school. I’m too old for this.

  52. 52
    Perry Como says:

    @John Cole: Goddammit, I was drinking wine when I read that.

  53. 53
    freelancer says:

    @calipygian:

    As goeth Onion Rings, so goes the country.

  54. 54
    Peter J says:

    Now, Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain. That would be a treat.

    I’m not into the granny genre. Now, Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean, that would be a treat. (And yes, I do know that Palin is a granny and Cindy McCain isn’t.)

  55. 55
    valdivia says:

    I just read the excerpt quoted by Althouse. OMG!
    The tone and writing of the book is terrible–shout outs to the White House? Hooking up with CBS? WTH??

  56. 56
    freelancer says:

    @valdivia:

    Her commentariat is pouncing on her for this. Some of them are absolutely fucking retarded.

    Intellectuals are dopes. In a high tech society, intellectuals are in demand for high ranking jobs. That’s great, but this is not the province of politics.

  57. 57
    calipygian says:

    @beltane:

    Sully will not be one bit happy about that. He has quite the crush on Levi. And Rich Lowery will be so jealous.

    Perhaps Sully and Richy should hook up. Just to get back at Sarah and Levi.

    I’d hate to be the one to pick the sticky Starbursts out of Sully’s back hair though…

  58. 58
    Midnight Marauder says:

    @calipygian:

    Sarah Palin has lost Ann Althouse:
    Of course, Althouse was probably half way through her second bottle of chablis when she wrote that post, but still…if Palin has lost Althouse…

    Wow. I’ve always though Althouse was a terrible human being and pretty much devoid of any kind of intellect, but she absolutely SAVAGES Sarahgeddon in that post.

    Katie has low self-esteem?! Bullshit! Anyone with the stuff to be President would have said bullshit. Or something like: Look, I’m running for Vice President. I can’t be distracted by some TV diva’s need for an emotional boost. Not unless I know it will translate into making me look great. But how would that work? Her boost is only likely to come if she makes me look terrible. Even if she has low self-esteem, #1, I don’t care, it’s hardly a pressing issue I need to be thinking about, and #2, that makes her more dangerous to me. She can’t trust anybody? Well, I don’t trust her. And Nicolle, how can you even present me with such an argument that is so specious on its face?

    On a related note, while I was reading that post on Althouse’s site, I suddenly caught a whiff of a disturbingly weird smell–kind of like moth balls, a sepctic tank, and expired Pepto Bismol.

    I can only believe that somehow, Althouse’s site is responsible for such an abominable odor.

  59. 59
    kay says:

    @valdivia:

    It’s worse than I thought, too.

    “But something always struck me as peculiar about the way she recalled her days in the White House, when she was speaking on behalf of President George W. Bush. She didn’t have much to say that was positive about her former boss or the job in general. Whenever I wanted to give a shout-out to the White House’s homeland security efforts after 9/11, we were told we couldn’t do it. I didn’t know if that was Nicolle’s call.”

    Ugh. She’s saying that Nicolle Wallace isn’t a loyal Bushie. It’s one of those repulsive conservative loyalty tests.

    Just a disgusting person, Sarah Palin.

  60. 60
    Martin says:

    I’m going to say it again – the only place I’ve seen a left-field reference to someone’s self-esteem is BoB talking about Obama.

    I think Sarah Palin = BoB makes a lot of sense.

  61. 61
    Dreggas says:

    @freelancer:

    yeah looks like she’ll be a flaming libtard by the end of the week. She’s getting the Charles Johnson treatment, or the Johnson for short.

  62. 62
    Trollhattan says:

    @calipygian #37

    Yup, looks like Althouse has jumped ship, but based on the comments her readers still (heart) themselves some sarah.

    We’re to trust the analytical acumen of someone who was hornswoggled by Obama? Really?
    __
    Sorry professor. Your credibility is shot. Many of us knew for certain that this creep was exactly what he has turned out to be. You couldn’t figure it out, but it was obvious.
    __
    We also know that Palin has the smarts, but more importantly the values, character, and spine to be a great president.
    __
    Palin is admitting up front that she was too trusting and naive entering into the campaign. Does anyone still think she could be fooled in such a way again? Besides trusting your “allies” does not equal trusting your enemies. I don’t think she ever would have been bamboozled by hostile foreign heads of state. Unlike President Prissypants. Who YOU voted for.
    __
    So spare us the Sarah Palin is too dumb to be president. How about Althouse is too dumb to vote?

    {Trying to end the blockquotes here using the magical double underscore trick.}

    Nope Sarah won’t never be bamboozled, no-how.

  63. 63
    calipygian says:

    @Trollhattan: If you got the patience to read the commentariat at Althouse…Gawd Bless Ya!

  64. 64
    jcricket says:

    @Cat Lady: We need that giant popcorn laser death ray combination thing they did in Real Genius.

    Munch, munch, munch.

    Palin/Dobbs 2012!

    with special guests Carrie Jean Prejean & Joe the Plumber.

  65. 65
    Perry Como says:

    @calipygian: Losing Ann Althouse is like losing a bad hangover.

  66. 66
    Trollhattan says:

    And another important book, this by a former veep.

    http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/.....agnew-nsfw

    Ah, the timelessness of fine literature.

  67. 67
    freelancer says:

    @Dreggas:

    The distinction is that Johnson is at least capable of critical thinking. Althouse is treading water with her commenters in an above-ground pool of stupid concentrate.

  68. 68
    jcricket says:

    @Trollhattan: I say this again. It’s depressing the crazification factor of 27% is so many people in the US, but luckily we don’t need 100% of the voters to win national elections.

    And that 27% is concentrated more in some states than others – so while it’ll suck that the deep south and mormon belt start to rot when they keep electing Palin-approved candidates, the other 73% of us can get back to the business of doing stuff well.

    We should, along the way, pass a law that gives the 27%ers what they want (they hate welfare, so let’s stop giving it to those states).

  69. 69
    Laura W says:

    @calipygian: OK, I hardly ever go over “there” but I did, just because I’m bored and you made it sound so sexy.
    I think I saw 300+ comments on that post? And while scanning the first 20 or so, it looks like AA responds to 75% of them? Is that about par?
    Because I can think of nothing more irritating and interest-killing than a blogger who feels compelled to respond to almost every single damn comment in their several-hundred-comments threads. Oh, well, I guess 100 of those comments are hers then, right?

    Talk about talking just to hear the sound of your own voice. It’s annoying enough when commenters feel compelled to respond to every comment addressed to them…but a blogger? (Or front pager?) That is some serious attention whore/energy vampire action going on.

  70. 70
    Dreggas says:

    @freelancer:

    Oh no doubt. Johnson has a brain which explains why he was able to stop drinking the kool-aid. I don’t know enough about althouse but what from what I have seen she can be a twit.

  71. 71
    calipygian says:

    @Laura W: I kind of like it when bloggers respond to their commenters…in moderation.

    Our kind host here has it about right IMHO.

    Matt Yglesias pisses me off because not only does he not ever respond to his commenters, he apparently doesn’t even READ his commenters judging by how many comment threads are about typos that never get corrected.

    But Ann…I can see her reading a couple, taking a couple of chugs of wine, getting pissed off about what she read and responding.

    Semi-famously, she even MARRIED one of her commenters.

  72. 72
    Zoogz says:

    I always wondered what “National Enquirer: The Book” would always read like. The only thing it sounds like this is missing is Bat-Boy.

  73. 73
    Trollhattan says:

    @calipygian

    @Trollhattan: If you got the patience to read the commentariat at Althouse…Gawd Bless Ya!

    First and hopefully the only time I plunge into that vat ‘o stoopid. I was surprised 1) she has comments (unlike a certain ol perfessor) and 2) she jumps in to pick fights.

    It’s Friday and she’s probably +6 by now. I’ve got some catching up.

  74. 74
    Laura W says:

    @calipygian:

    I kind of like it when bloggers respond to their commenters…in moderation.

    That was my point.
    Comment Response Moderation – she lacks it.

  75. 75
    YellowJournalism says:

    Those Althouse comments are disturbing and hilarious at the same time. One commenter was calling Althouse an intellectual as if that was a problem. My favorite was the commenter who defends Palin being attacked for her lack of experience by claiming she lacked experience and was therefore not at fault. I also liked the person who claimed Althouse turns against people too easily, all the while turning against Althouse immediately because Althouse doesn’t support Sarah Palin.

  76. 76
    freelancer says:

    @YellowJournalism:

    Intellecshuls R dops“.

    No words. No Words! They should have sent a BOB!

  77. 77
  78. 78
    Midnight Marauder says:

    Wow, I knew this book was going to bring Teh Lulz when it finally arrived, but who had any idea it was going to be this fucking stupid hilarious.
    To wit:

    Eventually the animosity grew quite personal. At one point during the campaign, [Steve] Schmidt discussed his hopes of getting a nutritionist on the bus. Palin, first assuming that it’s for the entire staff, compliments the idea. Only then, does Schmidt tell her, “No, it’s for you… You gotta get off that Atkins Diet.” Palin, writing up the incident months later, couldn’t help but comment on Schmidt’s “rotund physique.”

    I’m a forty-four year old, healthy, athletic woman raising five kids and governing a large state, I thought as his words faded into a background buzz. Sir, I really don’t know you yet. But you’ve told me how to dress, what to say who to talk to, a lot of people not to talk to, who my heroes are supposed to be and we’re still losing. Now you’re going to tell me what to eat?

    Yes, Sarah. McCain CAMPAIGN MANAGER Steve Schmidt is going to continue telling you what to do. During the campaign. That you’re a part of. But that he manages. MANAGES!

    Honest to goodness, I don’t think I’ll ever been able to get enough of the bountiful gems of inanity in this book. I mean, just get a load of this insane level of delusion:

    I moved to go speak with him [a reporter from Anchorage], but a campaign handler grabbed my elbow and said, “No, no, no … this way.” A few minutes later on my way out of the building I saw the same reporter and photographer back behind a rope line.
    __
    He yelled out “Alaska!” But as I tried to holler back, different pairs of hands hustled me into the campaign’s Suburban. It was not a respectful thing to do. I had turned my back on our own local press. Right then and there, I knew it wasn’t going to be good.

    It wasn’t. In a televised report about the campaign, that reporter wrapped it up this way: “And the Sarah Palin we once knew, is gone.”
    __
    I wasn’t. But I couldn’t blame him for thinking so.

    HOW AWESOME IS THAT?! SUCK ON THAT, THE ONION!

  79. 79
    calipygian says:

    Best Althouse comment:

    Palin is like a Jack Russell Terrier, always darting the to the first bright shiny object. And the fact that she doesn’t want to be interviewed (other than Oprah) by anyone who she does not allign herself with. No GMA, Today or CBS. For god sake, lets see her get into a good tussle with Rachel Maddow. I’d pay to see that.

    Palin vs. Maddow…what comes to mind? Tyson vs. Woody Allen? Bambi vs. Godzilla?

  80. 80
    Laura W says:

    @YellowJournalism: Have two glasses of good wine and then dive back in there.
    I can (almost) promise you that your observations will not be so succinct and clear, even to you.

    Uh oh. I believe that I’ve been told that Box Wine is the key to unlock Althouse’s Box?
    There’s my trouble.

  81. 81
    calipygian says:

    @Midnight Marauder: Its the expert’s fault, natch:

    In Alaska, we don’t really have these kinds of people–they are a feature of national politics. Naturally enough, as the experts, they are used to being in charge. But no matter how “expert” any of them was, nothing had apparently prepared them for the unprecedented onslaught of rumors, lies, and innuendo that “packaging” would have on my candidacy.

    That explains why an Arabian Horse Association president was made head of FEMA – cuz what do them “experts” know anyway?

  82. 82

    Thank God that dipshit lives in Alaska. No other state has room for her ego.

    I’m looking forward to reviewing the book now. For a while there I thought I might get a few pages in and then throw myself under a train.

    @calipygian: Oh God. I was eating cereal when I read that. H8. You. H8!

  83. 83
    freelancer says:

    All I can think right now is:

    Her ghostwriter is so fucked.

  84. 84
    de stijl says:

    The Harrison Ford voice-over comment up-thread got me thinking:

    Sarah: Do you mind if I wink?

    Deckard: It won’t affect the test. All right, I’m going to ask you a series of questions. Just relax and answer them as simply as you can. [ pause ] It’s your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet.

    Sarah: I wouldn’t accept it. Only illegals would think to give me a calfskin wallet. A real American would give me a moose skin wallet. Also, I’d report the illegal who gave it to me to ICE. Also, too.

    Deckard: You’ve got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar.

    Sarah: Bless his sweet little heart, but my little Trig is “special.” He’s not smart enough to catch butterflies. [winks]

    Deckard: You’re watching television. Suddenly you realize there’s a wasp crawling on your arm.

    Sarah: I’d be damn glad it isn’t a Muslim. Oh, you meant wasp like a bee, not a WASP. Sorry, my bad.

    Deckard: You’re reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl.

    Sarah: Is this testing whether I’m a snowbilly or a lesbian, Mr. Deckard?

    Deckard: Just answer the questions, please. [ pause ] You show it to your husband. He likes it so much he hangs it on your bedroom wall.

    Sarah: I wouldn’t let him unless it’s a production still from Nailin’ Palin. [winks]

    Deckard: Why not?

    Sarah: Naked people make baby Jesus cry.

    Deckard: One more question. You’re watching a stage play. A banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog.

    Sarah: Eww! Liberals are gross! We don’t have plays like that in Alaska!

  85. 85

    Yes, Sarah. McCain CAMPAIGN MANAGER Steve Schmidt is going to continue telling you what to do.

    Can you imagine what it would have been like if he’d thrown up his hands and let her do whatever the fuck she wanted?

    Let us all pause for a moment to reflect upon what we missed.

    .
    .
    .
    .

    [/moment of silence]

  86. 86
    calipygian says:

    @de stijl: This is so full of win on so many levels

  87. 87

    @Comrade Darkness: Throw Carrie Prejean in the mix and ya got something going, now

  88. 88
    calipygian says:

    @de stijl:

    Gibson: You’re in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down…
    Palin: What one?
    Gibson: What?
    Palin: What desert?
    Gibson: It doesn’t make any difference what desert, it’s completely hypothetical.
    Palin: But, how come I’d be there?
    Gibson: Maybe you’re fed up. Maybe you don’t want to be governor of a snowy state anymore. Who knows? You look down and see a tortoise, Sarah. It’s crawling toward you…
    Palin: Tortoise? What’s that? Is it like a moose?
    Gibson: [irritated by Palin’s interruptions, peers over glasses] You know what a turtle is?
    Palin: Of course!
    Gibson: Same thing.
    Palin: I’ve never seen a turtle, we don’t have turtles in Alaska doncha know… But I understand what you mean.
    Gibson: You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Sarah.
    Palin: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Gibson? Or does the liberal media make you ask them?
    Gibson: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping.
    Palin: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I’m not helping?
    Gibson: I mean: you’re not helping! Why is that, Sarah?
    [Sarah has become visibly shaken]
    Gibson: They’re just questions, Sarah. In answer to your query, they’re written down for me. It’s a test, designed to show the nation that you are a dumb ass… Shall we continue?

  89. 89
    MikeJ says:

    @calipygian: Is this a test to see if she’s a Republican or a lesbian?

  90. 90
    rob! says:

    Halperin’s ultimate dream is to somehow get “Obama winning the election on Nov. 4 was bad for the Obama Administration” into the national discourse.

  91. 91
    mcd says:

    There’s some really great humor on this thread and @de stijl is top notch.

    But don’t forget that the United States votes for wankers like this at regular intervals (see Nixon, Richard and Reagan, Ronald). And that’s kind of frightening.

  92. 92
    L. Ron Obama says:

    @Midnight Marauder:

    I’m a forty-four year old, healthy, athletic woman raising five kids and governing a large state, I thought as his words faded into a background buzz. … He yelled out “Alaska!” But as I tried to holler back, different pairs of hands hustled me into the campaign’s Suburban. … “And the Sarah Palin we once knew, is gone.” I wasn’t. But I couldn’t blame him for thinking so.

    Holy shit. This reads just like something out of Stephen Colbert’s book.

  93. 93
    L. Ron Obama says:

    @de stijl: Great job.

  94. 94
    calipygian says:

    @MikeJ:

    Sarah: Is this testing whether I’m a snowbilly or a lesbian, Mr. Deckard?

    @de stijlbeat you and me to it.

  95. 95
    Keith says:

    On the subject of Palin and Sully, apparently, Palin wanted to sue him for libel.

  96. 96
    JGabriel says:

    Midnight Marauder:

    Yes, Sarah. McCain CAMPAIGN MANAGER Steve Schmidt is going to continue telling you what to do. During the campaign. That you’re a part of.

    The more quotes I see from Palin’s book, the more it appears to be a giant whinge-fest that it was the “McCain Campaign” instead of the “Palin Campaign”.

    Seriously, Sarah? The reason you were “muzzled” by the campaign is because the two times you gave a network interview, they were both freakin’ disasters that revealed to the world what a lightweight ignoramus you are.

    .

  97. 97
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @de stijl:

    What about my mother

    She was a moose

  98. 98
    The Sheriff Is A Ni- says:

    @mcd: Nixon had eight years as veep and Reagan completed all his terms as governor of California. They both may have been reviled by liberals but even on both of their worst days they weren’t considered both political and intellectual lightweights. You’d have to go back to Andrew Jackson, perhaps, and he at least won the Battle of New Orleans.

    Huckabee and Pawlenty give me a pause. Wasilla Valley, PTA not as much.

  99. 99
    JGabriel says:

    YellowJournalism:

    Those Althouse comments are disturbing and hilarious at the same time. One commenter was calling Althouse an intellectual as if that was a problem.

    Yes, well, America is the country where calling someone an “Einstein” is considered an insult.

    .

  100. 100
    Mike in NC says:

    I don’t think I’ll ever been able to get enough of the bountiful gems of inanity in this book.

    In which chapter will she describe climbing to the summit of Mount Denali to keep tabs on Russia, only to be abducted by an alien spaceship? Or did the National Enquirer already cover that?

  101. 101
    jcricket says:

    Remember that Mr. Serious put this woman one heart attack away from the presidency.

    The best part is she thinks her problem was she was too “buttoned up” and “controlled”. Combining her delusions, stupidity, narcissism, venality and idiotic right-wing politics I can’t fucking wait to meet the “real Sarah Palin”.

    I think her approval ratings will probably meet new depths and we’ll get to test what the true crazification factor really is.

  102. 102
    Dream On says:

    I suppose her editor didn’t think the original title of “A Shallow Pack of Lies’ was good enough…

  103. 103
    dSquib says:

    I truly believe this to be real. This will be the one major thing to come out of the book to be true, verified or not. It’s too crazy a thing to make up, even for Palin.

  104. 104
    Annie says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Please don’t defame The Beverly Hillbillies. They are Oxford Scholars compared to Palin.

  105. 105
    Midnight Marauder says:

    @JGabriel:

    The more quotes I see from Palin’s book, the more it appears to be a giant whinge-fest that it was the “McCain Campaign” instead of the “Palin Campaign”.
    __
    Seriously, Sarah? The reason you were “muzzled” by the campaign is because the two times you gave a network interview, they were both freakin’ disasters that revealed to the world what a lightweight ignoramus you are.

    Absolutely. That is something that I was thinking about more and more on the bus ride home from work. There’s a monumental undercurrent–which doesn’t even seem like an appropriate word, given the frequency with which it appears–of “Can you believe these assholes didn’t let me run the show?!”

    Yes, Sarah. We can believe that. Because, clearly, you are out of your fucking mind. You can barely be trusted to do a network news interview with Katie Couric without the situation going horrifically awry, and you expect these people to let you manage the campaign? Which, by the way, you were literally a last minute addition to as the Vice Presidential candidate. Which, by the way, you were Vice President! It’s not your show to run! How many crazy pills have you been taking, Sarah?!

    I don’t think I’ve a) ever had this much fun with something I knew was going to be hilariously terrible; and b) I’m pretty sure my head is going to explode from Going Rogue overload before the weekend is over.

    +7

  106. 106
    NickM says:

    @freelancer:

    Althouse is treading water with her commenters in an above-ground pool of stupid concentrate.

    Well played.

  107. 107
    freelancer says:

    @Midnight Marauder:

    the thing that blows my mind after the train wreck that was the McCain campaign last year, that we’re learning today that she was handled!

    Jesus Christ, if this is her bridled, I want to see her unleashed during the Iowa Caucases. I’ve posted this several times in the last year on my own site, but it absolutely bears repeating tonight.

    Everyone, and I mean every single person that cast a vote for the McCain/Palin ticket last year should feel a gut-churning shame for how close they brought us to this apocalypse of a human being.

    I mean, if she would have sued Sully…

    http://andrewsullivan.theatlan......html#more

    WSJ tomorrow should be interesting.

  108. 108
    AnotherBruce says:

    Apparently I haven’t lived long enough, but, until now, I’d never thought that I wanted to party with Katie Couric.

  109. 109
    DougL (frmrly: Conservatively Liberal) says:

    @freelancer:

    When I heard that on election night she wanted to give a speech after McCain did I knew she had no clue as to what she was doing and the position she was chosen for.

    It was all about her. In her mind she was singlehandedly saving the McCain campaign, the campaign became all about her. She thought the wink and a cutesy way of speaking was going to be the ticket into the White House, just like the same ‘starbursts’ that fooled too many Alaskans into voting for her. She has been coasting on her looks and that is about it. She hasn’t risen to the level of her own incompetence.

    She is incompetent.

  110. 110
    gf120581 says:

    I swear, everytime I see Palin and think this woman could have been one decrepit heartbeat away from the Presidency (f__k you, McCain, I will never forgive you for that), I breath a huge sigh of relief that it never came to pass. I’ve read Stephen King’s “The Dead Zone” and let me tell you, the woman is Greg Stillson in drag. (Well, except that Stillson is sociopathic smart and Palin is…not.) We really dodged a bullet, folks.

    You can hate her for her stupidity and fear-mongering and that annoying “Fargo” accent, but also hate her for her narcissism. The world literally does revolve around her in her view and she can do no wrong. As said above, the fact that she expected to give her own speech on concession night proved she had no f__king idea what her job entailed or what her place on the ticket was. It’s all about her.

  111. 111
    licensed to kill time says:

    Why won’t Sarah Palin address the substantial issue of why my reply arrow won’t show up until after I leave a comment about nothing? Why, in the name of all that’s holy, WHY?

  112. 112
    Hob says:

    @de stijl: That is awesome.

    A Bay Area magazine actually did give the Voight-Kampff questions to local politicians a few years ago. Tom Ammiano, who’s since gone on to the CA state house, fortunately passed the test and was the only one who got the joke.

Comments are closed.