I’m worse off than I was yesterday. Thank god for fisherman’s friend and Vicks vaporizers.
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by John Cole| 74 Comments
This post is in: Sports
I’m worse off than I was yesterday. Thank god for fisherman’s friend and Vicks vaporizers.
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Steeplejack
Take care of yourself, Cole, and I hope you feel better.
SiubhanDuinne
Opera for me, not football. I’m in the theatre waiting for Tosca to begin in about 4 minutes. Need to power off the ‘Berry. Hope everybody’s favourite team wins today. Feel better, John.
joe from Lowell
John,
Go to the drug store, and buy “SudaCare Shower Soothers.”
They’re these little cakes about and inch in diameter and half an inch thick, that you put on the floor of your tub when you take a hot shower. They melt, and release vapors that mix with the steam and relieve your lungs and sinuses.
They are an absolute life saver.
gizmo
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=091005yankeestickets
This is baseball, not football– but I think this might be of interest. This piece has been generating a lot of buzz. It tells the story of the ridiculous “Legends” seating in the new Yankee Stadium ($2,500 tickets, complete with cabernet and sushi….)
Corner Stone
Sit down in a hot shower for about 15 minutes, and let the steam open up your vaso receptors.
Get out, take some Excedrin, pour 4 ounces of whiskey over cracked ice in a tall glass and fill with Coke or Sprite.
Repeat as necessary.
I also like a quarter of lime in there but that’s only if you have the ability to smell a little. Otherwise it’s wasted.
Demo Woman
John feel better. Remember to vote for Bitsy.
Crashman06
@gizmo: One more reason why the Yankees are totally evil.
ironranger
Chicken noodle soup.
When I have a cold/fever, I crave campbell’s canned soup. Only when I’m sick. I never touch that salty stuff any other time.
The Grand Panjandrum
My Huskers went on the road beat a pretty good Mizzou team, 27-12, on Thursday night so I’m good this week.
Pockmark Notorious
Argos vs Roughriders.
Time to watch my team go down yet again.
Corner Stone
@The Grand Panjandrum: I tried to watch that game, I really did. But I failed.
Whocouldanode they’d explode for points in like 3 minutes?
JK
When I saw your post about Obama and the Nobel Prize, I assumed you were feeling better.
When you actually do get better, how about a “Fuck the NY Yankees thread”?
The Grand Panjandrum
@Corner Stone: You know I’m starting to believe Pellini is turning the program around. But it won’t be complete until they start playing for Nationa Championships again.
Corner Stone
@Pockmark Notorious:
FSM help me but all I could think of when I read this was pr0n.
The Grand Panjandrum
@Pockmark Notorious: Do they where chaps whilst going down?
@Corner Stone:
You weren’t the only one. You just have better impulse control.
Pockmark Notorious
We used to have the Roughriders AND the Rough Riders.
Those were messy games…
Michael D.
@joe from Lowell:
Never tried them, but I have a friend who swears by them. He took a shower at my place once, and droppped one of those babies. I didn’t get the full effect walking in about 30 minutes later, but MAN, those things freshen up a room. I can only imagine how they can plunge out your sinuses!
Corner Stone
@Michael D.: Your contribution to the double entendre pr0n theme is interesting, to say the least.
Well played sir.
linda
@ironranger:
let me recommend the ‘homestyle’ version of campbell’s chicken soup. not bad, esp when you really do not feel like cooking.
JK
@Pockmark Notorious:
I’d love to hear the play by play of a game between those 2 teams. It must have been a boatload of fun for the announcers. We should have those two team names in the NFL or MLB.
gnomedad
@Demo Woman:
Oops, I voted for the Christian Filipina by mistake.
Walker
Spending the day pressing my apples to make homemade cider. I am still waiting on the last tree to mature before we start fermenting though.
aimai
Try Thai soups, lots of garlic and chili pepper and lime juice. That clears anyone of anything.
aimai
Michael D.
@Corner Stone: Not sure what you mean. My friend tried them in my bathroom. They smelled good 30 minutes later.
OMG: Michael is GAY!! It must be a gay sex thing!! B-b-b-because the “friend” was a guy! And he was USING YOUR SHOWER!!
Your contribution to stereotype is interesting, to say the least. Well played sir.
Notorious P.A.T.
@gnomedad:
She is very cute too.
MikeJ
At Safeco sushi is available to everyone, even those who get a $7 ticket. Seattlites love fish. We also have chowder and salmon (cooked) available.
No ichi-rolls until next spring.
IndyLib
John, hope you feel better soon.
Corner Stone
@Michael D.: Come on man. I’m not against teh icky gays. Why, some of best friends are -black- gay!
Just a teenage boy’s porno joke, friend.
debit
For me, nothing works better when I have a cold than vodka and raspberry lemonade. I realize there’s only minimal benefit to the lemonade and the vodka merely drugs me into insensibility, but I sleep like a baby after two drinks and wake up feeling much better the next day.
You also cannot go wrong with a large bowl of hot and sour soup.
Corner Stone
@debit:
You wake up every 3 hours and have soiled yourself, are mad as hell about it and want something to eat as well?
Corner Stone
Test.
-test for sentence using the strikethrough-
ETA – Oh FSM has truly blessed me indeed! After my Job like suffering, I can now finally use the blessed strikethrough! Words can not -fucking- describe how elated I am!
debit
@Corner Stone: Indeed.
Corner Stone
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Ummm….no.
Corner Stone
@debit: I just love that old expression about “sleeping like a baby”. I get what they’re saying but it’s hilarious to me.
I guess it’s tons cuter than saying, “I slept like a teenage boy.”
Which would be more accurate for those trying to communicate that they passed the F out and got seriously solid zzzz’s.
paradox
What’s fisherman’s friend? Captain Morgan?
Ben Richards
Hook ’em Horns.
That is all.
burnspbesq
@JK:
It was easy. The announcers just said “Sakatchewan” and “Ottawa.”
Can I just say that the CFL has the bestest team nicknames. Alouettes, Tiger-Cats, Argonauts, Blue Bombers, two sets of Roughriders, Stampeders, and Eskimos. Makes the BC Lions look soooo lame by comparison.
The best conflation of team nicknames evah was the first men’s basketball game at the Galen Center. Southern California vs. South Carolina. USC vs. USC. Trojans and ‘Cocks. Whoever thought of that has a free pass to Heaven, in my view.
burnspbesq
Phillies – Rockies postponed due to snow.
God help us all if the Twins and Rockies ever make the World Series in the same year after the Twins move to their new downtown, roofless stadium next year. I mean, WTF, was Michelle Bachmann the architect?
freelancer
@gizmo:
Or you could just let Ackerman tell you about it, thinking WTF?! while you read it.
Corner Stone
@burnspbesq: Let me guess – The Trojans came out on top?
Bah-zing!
Go Cocks!
Corner Stone
@Ben Richards: Colorado?? @ Texas??
Come on man.
freelancer
@The Grand Panjandrum:
Fixed Grand, fixed.
And the O-line could use a little discipline, what with over 70 yards in penalties, most of them false starts and holding.
burnspbesq
@Corner Stone:
Sadly, no. The Trojans failed to contain the Cocks.
ironranger
@linda:
Yes, “homestyle” is better than the original.
Real homemade chicken noodle soup would be ideal but no one feeling like crap wants to spend the time making soup from scratch. That’s when you need a guardian angel who makes house calls bringing soup.
Corner Stone
@burnspbesq: Sounds like a busted game plan to me.
burnspbesq
@Corner Stone:
Indeed, there were holes in the defense.
Anne Laurie
@paradox:
I think John’s talking about the nasty-tasting sore-throat-cough-suppressant lozenges. Although if my experience with the FF brand is typical, he’d be a lot better off with your idea.
Corner Stone
Alright peopleses! I’m going to bid you adieu for now. Parting is such sweet sorrow!
My best friend is getting married this evening and I must bravely Stand With Him and refrain from not kidnapping him and transporting him to Mexico.
I warned him. I did what I had to as a 30 year best friend should. My conscience is clear!
I will return later after he has been dragged down like a baby Cape Buffalo separated from the protection of the herd.
Poor bastard. We all have to learn our own way I guess!
Crashman, if you’re still out there on this thread, Don’t Fucking Do It Lad!
Fuuuucckkkk!!
Corner Stone
@burnspbesq: I thought maybe their ferocious offensive attack stretched the defense to the breaking point.
We could go on for days.
Gotta go to a funeral now, BBL.
Robin G.
I demand an Open Thread for Yankees hate.
MAUER’S HIT WAS TWO FEET FAIR, PEOPLE.
Bob In Pacifica
If you’ve got a good little family-run Chinese restaurant nearby get a quart of jook.
It’s a kind of a rice porridge made with chicken broth. Through in some fresh ginger.
AhabTRuler
And Jeffrey Mayer should be beaten with brickbats, what’s yer point?
Robin G.
@AhabTRuler: I’m also an Orioles fan, and cried with rage for two days when the Maier call happened. And here’s the fuckin’ Yankees getting the calls again in the postseason.
:steam:
JK
@Robin G.:
Everything is breaking right for the goddamn NY Yankees.
I’ve had it with these motherfucking Yankees and their motherfucking unfair financial advantage that enables them to always outbid every other team for the best free agents.
gizmo
Last night it occurred to me that the ump who blew the call on Mauer’s drive into the corner actually blew it in TWO ways. The ball clearly hit the left fielder’s glove on the way down, so it should have been in play no matter where it touched down, fair or foul. And then it actually fell inside the foul line, with the ump looking right at the clear evidence.
gizmo
Yankees payroll: $208,097,414.00
Twins payroll: $67,634,766.00
http://espn.go.com/mlb/teams/salaries?team=nyy
dr. luba
Chinese hot and sour soup would be my choice for soup, although Progresso makes some not too bad canned chicken soups.
If you are coughing up fairly clear, non-purulent sputum, it’s a virus and you just have to wait it out. Sudafed (the real stuff, not that PE crap) will dry out your sinuses and help with that, as well as post nasal drip.
If the sputum is getting purulent (grossly yellow-green, or like you’re coughing up tissue), you may need antibiotics. Zithromax works like a charm for bronchitis, but you’ll need to call your doc to get it.
And narcotic-based cough syrup will actually help a hacking cough (e.g. Hycodan), but probably shouldn’t be your first choice unless you’re not coughing up very much. It’s more of something you’d take for a dry/non-productive cough.
I like Constant Comment tea with honey and lemon myself as hot beverage of choice.
Robin G.
@gizmo: I don’t want the Twins payroll to be $200M. I want it to be $70M. Seriously, this year, they are absolutely buying it. And STILL they need all the breaks to go their way.
As the local paper said, hating the Yankees isn’t so special — it’s like hating child abuse and smallpox. Still, I really, really, REALLY hate the fucking Yankees.
Robin G.
Er, Yankees payroll to be $70M.
Obviously I’m too angry to formulate coherent thoughts.
mclaren
Seriously, this could be H1N1. If it persists for more than a couple of days, get yourself checked by a doctor.
JK
@Robin G.:
Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the Borg on Star Trek.
AhabTRuler
@JK: Um, I was rooting for the Borg on Star Trek.
Midwest Product
@JK: Not really, because the Borg always end up losing in the end.
Robertdsc-iphone
I wish Urban Meyer would tell the entire world to go Cheney themselves & sit Tebow this week and next at the bare minimum.
As for the Yanks & their money advantage, it matters not one bit what is spent. The last 8 years have produced 0 (zero) championships. Stop whining & play the goddamed game.
And yes, Mauer’s ball was fair. The umpire had a shit strike zone that the Twins benefitted from on multiple occassions. The Yanks’ payroll had nothing to do with 14+ baserunners left.
JK
@AhabTRuler:
Why would you do that?
JK
@Midwest Product:
@AhabTRuler:
The Yankees are a heartless, soulless entity with an almost infinite cash flow that dwarfs every other baseball team. So yes, they remind me of the Borg.
Shell
But that’s why, like a good scout, you should be prepared. I make homemade chicken broth and other soups pretty regularly. And now that we’re moving into cold and flu season, I try to stockpile some in the freezer.
Mike
I for one am looking forward to Rush’s St. Louis All White Rams.
Guaranteed 0-16 forever.
Tom
Pitt is driving me crazy, they’re playing well, they’re not playing well, they’re playing well……….
tess
I had something seriously nasty about two weeks ago that had a lot of the same symptoms as swine flu, but wasn’t actually a flu at all (tested once I finally went to the doctor because I still couldn’t inhale painlessly).
Push fluids, including some that’s a little salty (Gerolsteiner, or, if you must Gatorade-style drinks) because you’re losing a lot with the virus. Take advil to keep the swelling down–I’d quit taking it when my fever dropped, but everything respiratory still hurt, so going back to taking a full dose regularly (every 4 hours) really made a huge difference. Add in Mucinex D and a basic cough syrup and you should be able to sleep it out of your system. Be warned, though: this sucker can last a long time and really wear you out. And you can’t get a flu shot until it’s completely out of your system.
Yutsano
@burnspbesq: Then there’s the Berlin Eisbärn (Polar Bears), which is actually hockey but they have a kicking fight song and pretty awesome jerseys. I’m seriously considering dropping the $200 to get me one of the silver ones. It’s either that or lean on my ex (who’s a Canuck) to get off his duff and go play for them. (VERY long story, but he should be in the NHL somewhere, and I’m not saying that just because of emotional attachment. He is seriously that good.)
Annie
John, just relax, get some rest, and think about good things like the Republicans will self-exploid. Rest is the key. Love to Lily and Tunch.
HRA
John, drink 2 or 3 tall glasses of orange juice per day. Chicken soup is always recommended for any cold/sinus problem. Make sure you feed the cold lightly. Hot tea with lemon and a spritz of whiskey or brandy in it is a sure thing.
dr. luba
Don’t bother with over the counter cough syrup. All the studies show it is totally ineffective. And, unless you have ulcer or gastritis issues, ibuprofen is preferable to acetaminophen (tylenol), which, if you OD on it, will destroy your liver. Ibuprofen can be dosed 200 mg per 2 hours, in any combination you prefer (400 every 4, 600 every 6, 800 every eight).
And, seriously, if it keeps getting worse, do get checked out by your doctor. At our age, recovery from viruses is not as easy as it once was, and can involve secondary bacterial infection.