Thursday Night Open Thread

First, some pet pics:

dog_flowers

not_tunch

youtalkingtome

pookie-001

I swear that last dog is a photo shop job. Check out the pink nose and the almost human eyes.

Also this week, back by popular request, BHF has your weekend menu:

1. Grilled Salmon w/Orange Glaze

2. Tomato & Bell Pepper Soup

3. Hearty Bread

4. Raspberries & Blackberries w/whipping cream

Click the link for the full menu.

Also, below the fold, Redkitten has the play-by-play for her latest experience giving birth.

Aug 12
8:30am: Wake up, and prepare for the 15-minute ordeal that is called “rolling over”. Give up and decide to read for a bit.
9:00am: Roll over, and underwear promptly becomes soaked. That ain’t pee, kids. Sit there blinking stupidly for about 10 minutes before calling hospital.
9:50am: Call husband and tell him to get his baby-making ass home.
11:15: Arrive at hospital, where they say that they’re not detecting amniotic fluid, and that they think I just peed myself. WTF? They decide to keep me for a few hours anyway, just in case.
12pm – 4pm: Walk. A lot. Walk some more. Look at each other. Read. Walk. If they tell me to go home after this, I will have to choke someone.
4pm: Dr C. examines me and says that yes, membranes are ruptured. Resist urge to say “I fucking well TOLD you this, didn’t I?” Am told that inducement will take place tomorrow morning if no progress on labour. Call parents. Spend rest of day and night waiting for contractions that don’t come.

Aug 13
8:45: Brought into birthing room and shot full of pitocin.
9am – 6pm: Minor contractions every few minutes, but nothing to write home about. Alternate between bed, birthing ball and walking, depending on how long it takes ass to go completely numb. Hear about girl who came in and had her baby an hour after she arrived, and curse that bitch.
6pm: Dr. C. comes in and informs us that dilation is only 2cm. Shit. Says that if no progress by 8:45pm, will do c-section. My mother is freaking out. I couldn’t care less — as long as baby is healthy, who cares if s/he comes out my woo-hoo, my belly, or my left nostril?
7:30pm: Update Facebook status on husband’s cell phone, saying that I’m having a c-section. Hit “update”, and water immediately breaks.
7:32: Whoa. These contractions are a lot stronger.
7:35: A LOT stronger.
7:36: Holy fuck.
7:38: Kill. Me. Now. Please.
7:40 – 9:15: Experience sheer hell. No break at all between contractions, and they are STRONG. Try to control breathing, but it feels oddly good to just scream incoherently into pillow. Am examined again, and find out that I’m STILL only at 2cm. Cry hysterically. Dr. C. says that if no progress by midnight, I’ll have c-section anyway.
9:16: Decide that drug-free births are for the birds and beg for an epidural. Am incoherent with pain by this point, but message gets through.
9:30: Anesthesiologist arrives with sound of angels singing. Cannot even speak, as am so delirious with pain. Receive epidural.
9:35: There is a special place in heaven reserved for anesthesiologists. Srsly.
9:45 – 11:30: Recover and actually nap for a bit.
11:35: Am examined yet again, and find out that during nap, I went from 2cm to 9cm. w00t!
11:45pm – 12am: Feeling a LOT of pressure. Want to push.

Aug 14
12am: Nurse examines me and says I’m at 10cm. It’s go time!
12:01 – 1:00: Perform remarkable impersonation of someone trying to poop out a coconut. Am told that I’m really efficient at pushing, and am glad that something is finally going well. Nurse says she can see head. Dr. C comes back in. Everything’s going awesome.
1:01: Everything is not awesome. Fetal heart rate dropping, and fast.
1:05: Dr. looks serious and says “We have to get this baby out now.” Episiotomy time. Am given local anaesthetic, although I don’t care what they do to me at this point. I just want my baby.
1:10: Episiotomy performed. Husband sees entire thing taking place. I may bear the physical scar, but I think he’ll be having nightmares for the rest of his life.
1:14: After getting head out, discover that umbilical cord is wrapped around baby’s neck. Push out shoulders, and doctor gets cord unwrapped, suctions baby, and delivery is complete.
1:15am: It’s a boy! Hearing him crying is a huge relief.
1:17 – 3am: Complete blur. Get stitched up. Keith takes baby to see grandparents, who are complete emotional wrecks by this point. Baby is weighed (7lbs 11 oz.) Try nursing, and little Samuel latches on quite nicely, staring at me the entire time. I’m completely delirious with fatigue as we all get wheeled back to my room, but all I know is this:

I’m completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love. And I feel like I’ve been run over by a large truck.

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120 replies
  1. 1
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Ask the Bacon Guy made some kickass split chicken breast this evening in bacon drippings.

  2. 2
    jnfr says:

    I want another post by admin! That was the best post today.

  3. 3
    Polish the Guillotines says:

    Heh. Cat in the middle got shaved. Probably lost 50% of his volume in hair. We used to have to “lion cut” our Persians from time to time.

  4. 4
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    No Photoshop on Pookie, but she does have weird eyes, and is very smart. She’s a neighbors dog that drops by now and then to say hi.

  5. 5
    Cat Lady says:

    1. Grilled salmon with Vermont Hills Teriyaki glaze.
    2. Couscous with chive, scallion and parsley.
    3. Brigham’s Chocolate Chip ice cream.

    That shaved tiger looks like my handsome boy Woody.
    What the fuck is that dog about? Someone got’s some splainnin’ to do.
    Hurricane’s a’comin’. Woot! For my birthday!

  6. 6
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Is that first cat Tunch’s other brother Tunch?

  7. 7
    JK says:

    Betsy McCaughey is tonight’s guest on the Daily Show and Chris Mattews is tonight’s guest on the Colbert Report.

    Maria Bartiromo is a lying sack of shit just like her colleague Erin Burnett.

    John, your post yesterday on John McCain was great. It’s nauseating and disgusting to see the assholes in the MSM continue treating this scumbag as a statesman. McCain is a warped, frustrated old man who ran a Joe McCarhy style campaign and chose a shit for brains, dumber than dirt governor to be his running mate.

  8. 8
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Extra thin Pork Chops, sliced cucumber and tomatoes and Bell pepper. Washed down with imported Japanese Maucha fine powder iced tea.

  9. 9
    linda says:

    gawker has a jake tapper tweet. what a twit:

    ‘does anyone out there know how to turn all caps into regular in Microsoft Office 2007?

    http://gawker.com/5342135/the-.....ugh-affair

  10. 10

    I’m going for a bike ride, but I’ll check back to see if there are any questions about stuff. This was a meal at a restaurant somewhere on the Oregon coast – I cannot remember the name of the restaurant. I should take better notes. Must’ve been the wine.

    Also I made Kirk Spencer’s Squab in a Coffin last night and it was very good. I’ll post the results along with his recipe later this weekend on my blog.

  11. 11
    Ash Can says:

    That first cat done gone Galt, and that’s that.

  12. 12
    BFR says:

    That 2nd cat is scaring me

  13. 13
    Meyer says:

    lying sack of shit

    This is my phrase for the day.

    Enough of this, “not quite factual”, “missing the point”, “misguided”, “misinformed”, “we disagree” from the dems.

    You, sir, are a lying sack of shit.

  14. 14
    RedKitten says:

    Pookie is freaking adorable.

  15. 15
    skippy says:

    hey am i allowed to post pics of my pets?

    lestat the cockatiel

    in order, left to right, lestat’s mom angelina, lestat’s friend big boy, and lestat’s dad clicky.

  16. 16
  17. 17
    JK says:

    @Meyer:

    Sometimes, lying sack of shit is the most appropriate phrase when dealing with people like Maria Bartiromo, Erin Burnett, Bill Kristol, Glenn Reynolds, and Meyer.

  18. 18
    Montysano says:

    What do BJ-ers do for flea control? Our dogs spend part of their day outside, but come in at night, and we’re starting to notice fleas in the house.

    Mrs. Monty is a proponent of natural methods (the soapy water flea trap, garlic in pet food, etc.), but the old farm boy in me is skeptical. I’m fine with natural methods if they work, but they don’t seem to be.

    Any suggestions?

  19. 19
    Maurs says:

    I LOVE salmon, I’m using the word love here, but I stopped eating fish months ago after reading an article about mercury levels in fish in Discover magazine. It seems the rest of the news outlets caught up today as I began seeing stories pop up all over the web today.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/200.....tamination

    I threw out my fish oil caplets as well and went out and bought the purified kind. Fish oil is so good for you that I am willing to spend the extra dough for purified caplets.

  20. 20
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @skippy:

    I don’t think Cole is impressed with our feathered friends. I submitted a photo of my Pearl the Parakeet and nuthin”. I thought about making the little guy a Stealers Sweater and sending it, but I’m a Browns fan, so well…..

    NOthing but cats and dogs, which is fine by me.

  21. 21
    Violet says:

    Krista, your birth story…OMG. You poor thing. Glad it all ended well, but what an ordeal and scary moments too. Hope you and your husband and little Samuel are all doing well now.

    Love the animals. That last dog – Pookie? – how adorable. I love her funny nose and people eyes. And that first dog in the flowers is gorgeous. Happy dog!

  22. 22
    Steeplejack says:

    I think that last pic is the rare Scotch yeti. I think it was covered in one of those Leonard Nimoy In Search of … mockumentaries documentaries.

  23. 23
    Wonk Hussein says:

    Here’s some love for the smiling Border Collie up top since everyone is loving on the kittehs.

    And Krista, this is one time I’m happy I’m unable to say to someone” “I feel your pain.” Yowch. But you do have a beautiful little boy.

  24. 24
    shelley matheis says:

    Do they use that first cat as a door stop?

  25. 25
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @skippy: Aw, so cute!

    That first cat is definitely related to Tunchie. Speaking of Tunchie, where is he????

    I just had a nice salad and some DFH (free-range) chicken and tofu. Yummmmmmmmm….

  26. 26
    Demo Woman says:

    @RedKitten: Sorry about the length of the labor but in child birth only the out come matters.
    Did you hear that David Vitter wants to cause your health care system to fail He wants to encourage us all to buy your drugs and I assume he means the legal one, so that your government will have to raise prices. He’s one jealous asshole. Maybe we can all send him some diapers.

  27. 27
    lotus says:

    Lord have mussy, RedKitten, BRAVA!

  28. 28
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    I’m completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love. And I feel like I’ve been run over by a large truck.

    Was that last line a summary line from you John or was it still Krista?

  29. 29
    Montysano says:

    After breaking his own world record in the 100m on Tuesday, Usain Bolt breaks his own 200m record today at the World Championship in Berlin. It’s a amazing thing to watch.

  30. 30
    JK says:

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Have you gotten over the Brett Favre signing? I can’t believe the Vikings could be so dumb after seeing how Favre crashed and burned last season with the Jets.

  31. 31
    ominira says:

    @RedKitten: Congratulations! Of course now I’m even more scared to have a kid after reading that.

  32. 32
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    I asked a lady friend one time what it was like to give birth, she told me it was like shitting a watermelon. I said wow, and thanked God I had a penis.

    Then a few years later, I started having kidney stones, not just one but several. The first was the worst and the biggest at 8 mm. It took 4 months to pass it, and numerous trips to the VA ER in Biloxi. They didn’t have one of those machines that can break them up to pass quickly. Every time it moved a mm or so down my ureter, it was off to the ER for a shot.

    One visit, I was all hunkered over begging for some good drugs and two nurses were casually giggling near by and I said it wasn’t that funny. They said now you know how it feels, I said WTF? But after thinking about it, I figured I knew what they meant.

  33. 33
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    Job well done Krista!

  34. 34
    asiangrrlMN says:

    Aw, I just read Krista’s journal, and it’s so touching. Yes, it makes me even happier that I never had to experience that, but at least you have your beautiful Samuel.

    That first dog is soooooo cute.

    @JK: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! MF, stupid asshole jerkhead Brett Favre! Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! Does that answer your question?

  35. 35
    JenJen says:

    Congratulations, Redkitten and Mr. Redkitten! And welcome to the world, little Samuel!

  36. 36
    Fleem says:

    Congrats, Krista. Helluva birth story. Welcome to the parent’s club!

    You’ll get the rule book … one chapter at a time… when you write it yourself. And send me a copy when it’s done, please.

  37. 37
    JK says:

    @Montysano:

    Usain Bolt is the best thing to come out of Jamaica since the late great Bob Marley http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnVSoNiA7hE

  38. 38
    skippy says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    well my wife is allergic to cat & dog dander. i was never a bird fan until, after marrying her, i purchased lestat’s grandad paco & his wife paloma @ a garage sale for $40 (including rabbit cage).

    took em home, bought ’em a proper bird cage, and soon they were mating & laying eggs.

    now, cockatiels are among the best parents in the animal world, and took good care of the little babies until they fledged the nest box. we kept a few, sold a few more, and the ones we kept also had babies.

    i used to think birds were not much smarter than fish who could fly. but i discovered otherwise.

    i found out that cockatiels are a delightful cross between cats and dogs…friendly and gregarious, but not slavish and needy, and also ready to let you know when you’ve crossed the line and are a bothering them.

    i am quite impressed w/cole’s rescue of lilly as set forth on this page. but give me lestat the cockatiel any day of the week!

  39. 39
    Punchy says:

    Good job Kris! Gooud to knouw that your Canadiun doctours cant tell the diff betweun urine and…..and….and…whatever is suppoused to leak out the 3-hole at such a time.

    What’s his BJ handle? Is he the one doing Brick Oven Willy?

  40. 40
    JK says:

    @asiangrrlMN:

    Don’t sweat it about Favre. I’m sure he’ll quit again after this season. Maybe you’ll be lucky and he’ll get a career ending injury sometime this season and you’ll be rid of him.

  41. 41
    Incertus says:

    @Montysano: I use Advantage on my cats as needed, but they’re not indoor-outdoor cats, so it’s not needed often. I swear by it, but I’ve never used it on a dog. If you go with that sort of medicine, though, whatever you do, do NOT use the over-the-counter crap made by Hartz. It damn near did permanent nerve damage to our older cat and we couldn’t wash it off him fast enough. When a Siamese willingly goes under a water faucet, you know something is wrong.

  42. 42
    Svensker says:

    I’m completely, utterly, and hopelessly in love. And I feel like I’ve been run over by a large truck.

    Yes. They don’t really tell you about the pain, do they? Most extraordinary thing ever. But then having a baby is like finding out there’s a really huge room in your house that you had no idea was there. Behind that door? Really? Yup, it’s there and full of amazing stuff. Enjoy the discovery!

    Re: fleas. You have to get the fleas off the dog and keep them off, while simultaneously getting them out of your house. Vacuum regularly, treat the dogs, wash all bedding and soft stuff and you may have to spray. And until you know the dogs are clear, you have to keep doing that. Little fokkers will multiply like mad and your friends will not want to visit until the problem is under control. Ask John for advice, he just went through it.

  43. 43
    asiangrrlMN says:

    @Montysano: That’s freaking awesome. He rules.

    @JK: Aaaaargh! I am hoping that every game ends in a Brett Favre interception. I’m rooting for the Pack this year.

  44. 44
    Ash Can says:

    @Krista: Yes indeed, the best part of labor and delivery is getting it the holy goddamned fucking hell OVER with, with a beautiful darling baby as the result. The second-best part is the epidural.

    Glad to hear that all is well now.

  45. 45
    Indylib says:

    Holy Cow, Krista, what a tale. Congrats on keeping your sense of humor through most of it. And yes, anesthesiologists, especially ones who administer to women in labor, do indeed deserve special places in the afterlife.
    Samuel is beautiful and that instant, love at first sight feeling is a wonderful thing.
    How are you feeling now?

  46. 46
    DougL says:

    Apologies to whoever’s dog that last pic is, but I couldn’t resist a snark about maybe this being the result of some of that man-on-dog sex that Santorum was going on about.

  47. 47
    John Cole says:

    I’m watching A View to a Kill on one of the HD channels, and I really just do not like Roger Moore. I forgot how much I disliked him as Bond.

  48. 48
    WereBear says:

    Congrats, RedKitten! Samuel is adorable. All’s well that ends well.

    We bought a new fan to suck the cool air from outside into the too-hot bedroom, and it worked really well.

    So well that the cats joined me at bedtime like they haven’t done in two weeks, and I hardly slept because they were so happy about it, they had to keep telling me.

  49. 49
    Mike in NC says:

    I really just do not like Roger Moore. I forgot how much I disliked him as Bond.

    He sucked as 007, but it was the 70s after all…

  50. 50
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @John Cole:

    You and me both John, he was such a bad Bond it was not even funny, he was absolutely awful. Why he was ever chosen as Bond is a mystery to me, he was god damn awful.

  51. 51
    Anne Laurie says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    No Photoshop on Pookie, but she does have weird eyes, and is very smart. She’s a neighbors dog that drops by now and then to say hi.

    If I understand the genetics correctly, Pookie inherited at least three different sets of color dilution recessives — one for the blue eyes, one for the pink nose, and one or more for the white coat. It’s quite a rare combination, especially since some of those recessives have been linked, at least in breeding folklore, to serious health problems (deafness, epilepsy, small litter size). So there’s an incentive for professional breeders to cull puppies like Pookie, for fear they’ll end up as cripples, or just to protect the good reputation of the puppy’s genetic relatives and their own investment. (I think LitleBrit said her beloved boxer Cueball was almost one of these ‘culls’.) Also, to be perfectly honest, dogs with pale eyes and/or pink noses, lips and eyerims just look weird to us, so those recessives are deliberately selected against by breeders matching up dogs (a mating that ‘throws’ depigmented puppies won’t be repeated) and by randombred adopters.

    On the other hand, I’ve heard Sheltie, Malamute, and Aussie fans argue about whether blue-eyed dogs are really “smarter” or “more responsive”, factors more difficult to quantify, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that show-ring standards for these breeds don’t list blue eyes as a disqualification.

    Don’t know about Pookie’s bloodlines — GSW? — but I’m guessing mostly Shi-tzu, plus Poodle, and maybe Cocker Spaniel?

  52. 52
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    YUP Cueball was on death row… white boxers have a slim lifeline.

  53. 53
    James K. Polk, Esq. says:

    @asiangrrlMN: Let’s see… Vikings have a top 5 defense, possible hall of fame running back. Your previous quarterback is (ahem) Tavaris Jackson?

    Can’t see how it’s anything but a huge upgrade. The Vikes were a decent team in spite of the quarterback situation. Even if you find the player detestable for legitimate reasons, you stand the strong possibility of being quite disappointed rooting against Favre this year.

  54. 54
    gnomedad says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    I asked a lady friend one time what it was like to give birth, she told me it was like shitting a watermelon.

    Bill Cosby says Carol Burnett told him “take your lower lip and pull it over your head.”

  55. 55
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Malamute, and Aussie fans argue about whether blue-eyed dogs are really “smarter” or “more responsive”

    I have owned both Malamute and Aussie Shepherds and the Aussie is the most intelligent dog breed alive, imho. I have also owned pure bred Border Collies who come in a close second.

    The smartest individual dog I have ever been around was a Rat Terrier. That dog knew a slew of human words and responded promptly to them, and I was convinced if she could have learned to speak english, we would have had a wonderful time discussing music, art or any number of topics.

  56. 56
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Montysano:

    Mrs. Monty is a proponent of natural methods (the soapy water flea trap, garlic in pet food, etc.), but the old farm boy in me is skeptical. I’m fine with natural methods if they work, but they don’t seem to be.

    Pennyroyal oil is probably the strongest organic anti-flea topical treatment, but you need to be very careful around breeding females, including Mrs. Monty if applicable. Brewer’s yeast works better than garlic when ingested (for people as well), but it takes three weeks to be effective, and not all dogs/cats will eat it. On the other hand, if yours will, it’s widely available as a coat supplement & it’s almost impossible to overdose.

    If your yard is small enough, some people swear by diatomaceous earth, but the stuff has to be re-applied after every rain.

  57. 57
    South of I-10 says:

    The first pic is my Hannah girl, the cat herding border collie. She was reminding me to stop and smell the flowers. She is a great dog. I am so glad to see that Krista has not lost her sense of humor, and so glad to hear everyone is doing well.

  58. 58

    REDKITTEN, that was the best blog post ever. EVER. I’m going to pass it on to my friend who is a nurse mid-wife, she will love it.

    Although….not sure, John, how I feel about my recipes appearing along side the sentence: Roll over, and underwear promptly becomes soaked. That ain’t pee, kids.

    Again, congrats Krista. And thanks for sharing.

  59. 59
    Lesley says:

    I skipped straight to the labour and delivery log.

    WOMEN RULE THIS EARTH. Or they should. Because only a woman could go through that much pain and be humorous about it. Men on the other hand… :)

    Btw, that cat on its back could qualify for The Biggest Loser show (if one existed for cats).

  60. 60
    Comrade Mary says:

    Oh my God, Krista. The things you go through to find the right guy, eh? (No diss of Keith intended. But I bet he’s madly in love, too.)

    So when are you having your next one?

    #ducks#

  61. 61

    @James K. Polk, Esq.:

    Can’t see how it’s anything but a huge upgrade.

    Favre has a torn rotator cuff.

  62. 62
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Lesley:

    WOMEN RULE THIS EARTH. Or they should.

    Well, that’s OK!. But I ain’t taken out the garbage no more.

  63. 63
    DonkeyKong says:

    If that dog at the bottom had a bow tie and sat with its legs crossed, it could be George Will.

    Trippy man…….

  64. 64
    Incertus says:

    @James K. Polk, Esq.: Discussion of this over at TNC’s place, and if you look at the numbers, Tarvaris Jackson had a better year than Favre last year. Favre’s a year older and and a year more decrepit. Might not be as much of an upgrade as you’re assuming.

  65. 65
    demkat620 says:

    @RedKitten: Hey RK! Had a similar experience with my first. Except I also got the sald spoons. 4th degree tear and a broken tailbone. Brat’s 11 and over 5 ft tall. He’ll be looking down on me shortly.

  66. 66
    South of I-10 says:

    @demkat620: Ouch! There was a woman at the hospital at the same time I was who had a 4th degree tear. I was pretty happy about the c-section after talking to her!

  67. 67
    demkat620 says:

    @South of I-10: Yes, It was not enjoyable. And the forceps are 18″ long.

  68. 68
    South of I-10 says:

    @Montysano: I use Advantage on the dog and the cats – it works!

  69. 69
    Comrade Mary says:

    Ohgodcanwenottalkabout4thdegreetearsthankyouverymuch?

    I’ve never had one, and I had no idea such things existed, but I figured it out in a nanosecond and twitched — badly — just reading those words.

  70. 70
    James K. Polk, Esq. says:

    @Incertus: Tavaris Jackson.

    Try saying it this way: “Tavaris Jackson, starting quarterback”

    Torn rotator cuff is not good. Tavaris Jackson is also not super great.

  71. 71
    JK says:

    @James K. Polk, Esq.: @J. Michael Neal: @Incertus:

    Bret Favre is an arrogant, lying drama queen. His press conference was the biggest crock of shit performance by a a professional athlete since Alex Rodriguez’s press conference discussing his steroid use. Favre doesn’t give a damn about The Vikings. All he cares about is boosting his personal stats. Favre WAS a great quarterback. NOW, he’s a washed up quarterback who can’t stand not being the center of attention.

  72. 72
    South of I-10 says:

    @Comrade Mary: Sorry! That is one of those stories that will make you never have kids. The day before I went into labor, my hardcore Cajun coworker told me that I looked like I was pushing a barge. She is lucky she didn’t die that day.

  73. 73
    Kathy says:

    Krista, outstanding to hear from you. So sorry to hear about the labor nightmare, BUT, so glad to hear about the healthy son at the end. Sleep while you can honey, and remember they all sleep through the night eventually :)

  74. 74
    geg6 says:

    DonkeyKong: OMG, I just spit Fudgesicle all over my Blackberry. George Will totally.

  75. 75
    Anne Laurie says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    I have owned both Malamute and Aussie Shepherds and the Aussie is the most intelligent dog breed alive, imho. I have also owned pure bred Border Collies who come in a close second… The smartest individual dog I have ever been around was a Rat Terrier.

    I certainly would not argue with you about Aussie and Border Collies, and not just because one of the people who got me into dog-ownership 25 years ago is deeply involved in Aussie/BC/Sheltie rescue. My personal heart-favorite, Papillons, are also known for their intelligence, and unlike the herding dogs, they aren’t so driven that keeping them sane in an apartment requires a commitment of time & energy that most Americans, including me, just can’t make. But of course ‘breed average’ intelligence is only a guideline, not an absolute — I’ve known a few Shelties that definitely qualified as “dumb blondes”, and our late beloved Papillon Candy, despite her impeccable heritage, could not walk and chew biscuit at the same time. And while Afghan Hounds are not exactly renowned for their intelligence, one of the 4 or 5 smartest dogs I’ve ever known was an Afghan bitch from a field (coursing) lineage!

  76. 76
    rknight says:

    @General Winfield Stuck: I’m still partial to my sheepdog, Maggie (Border Collie) but damn, terriers! Maggie is Rainbow now but one of our “new” dogs is a Parson Russell and she’s something else. I have respect. She might not speak English, but she understands it (to the extent I can speak it). Athletic as all hell.
    Also.

  77. 77
    General Winfield Stuck says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    they aren’t so driven that keeping them sane in an apartment requires a commitment of time & energy that most Americans, including me, just can’t make

    This is the thing with BC’s and Aussies. They have to run and need a lot of space to do so. I was living on a farm when I had the Border’s and lost two of them to auto’s they not only had to chase, but insisted on trying to herd them by cutting in front. The highway was quite a ways away. but they still found it. You can;t keep them inside except for short periods, just too much energy. The Aussie I had was in a large fenced yard in town, so it was no problem.

    I had never heard of Papillons until Cole one day mentioned them but didn;t say it was a dog. I was commenting how much I liked Butterflies too, and someone asked why he was keeping Dustin Hoffman in the back yard. We were then corrected when Senor Cole returned to thread.

  78. 78
    Anne Laurie says:

    @skippy:

    i used to think birds were not much smarter than fish who could fly. but i discovered otherwise.

    The problem with birds, for me, is that they’re so damned fragile. I can’t deal with a “companion” that might bleed to death when I trim its toenails. There’ve been some cat-related nail-trimming incidents where it looked like I might bleed to death, but them’s the rules.

  79. 79
    lawnorder says:

    Hear about girl who came in and had her baby an hour after she arrived, and curse that bitch.
    rofl, same here with my first.

    My second barely waited for the doctor to arrive :p

  80. 80
    JK says:

    @skippy:

    Thanks, I loved your bird photos.

  81. 81
    Anne Laurie says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    I had never heard of Papillons until Cole one day mentioned them but didn;t say it was a dog.

    Most of the Border/Aussie fanciers I’ve known have been through obedience/agility training and competition, and I can’t remember any of them who didn’t appreciate Papillons as well. Some people owned both, or switched from BCs to Paps when they moved to smaller, urban properties. You can’t always tell from the show photos of the beauty-contest conformation winners, but Papillons have an ‘outline’ — head shape, neat all-purpose build, silky wash’n’wear coat, plus brains & responsiveness — that makes them great agility dogs and excellent companions for people (like my Spousal Unit) who want an “honorary cat”.

  82. 82
    James K. Polk, Esq. says:

    @JK: You are, of course, completely correct.

    That being said, Favre could still be an excellent QB. It’s going to be hard to convince me the same is true for Jackson.

  83. 83
    asiangrrlMN says:

    Favre will not be an excellent quarterback. He wasn’t last year. He hasn’t been for many years. He has been coasting entirely on his rep for about five years. I would rather the Vikings have landed a solid quarterback who isn’t a hundred years old and who isn’t a drama queen than given $25 M to Favre for two years. It doesn’t make any fucking sense at all.

    I am sick to death of prima donna sportsplayers who think their shit don’t stink. This may actually be the year I give up pro sports completely. It’s been a longtime coming.

    Whatever. I know a “true fan” only cares if his/her team wins, which is why I’ve never considered myself a true fan of anything.

  84. 84
    Church Lady says:

    Krista, Congratulations to you and your husband on the arrival of your son. It’s not fun getting there, the the ending is well worth it. Luckily, somehow were wired to forget the worst of it, which is the only thing that allows us to do it again. :)

    By the way, you will remain utterly and hopelessly in love for the rest of your life. The feeling doesn’t leave. I should know – I still have it after 21 years.

  85. 85
    srv says:

    Man, people are such morons.

    1) Libya drops appeal case on Lockerbie “case”
    2) Obama and Col. Quackadafi meet
    3) Scots release fall guy as “terminally ill”
    4) Hillary, WH “deeply regret” release

    No connections folks, keep on driving… At least they’ll announce his death in a month or two and this 20 year farce will be over with.

    To you Scots, thanks for taking all the crap on this.

  86. 86
    RedKitten says:

    Thanks everybody for the kind words.

    Samuel is actually a totally awesome baby. The kid barely cries at all.

    Mind you, like my husband said, “Why would he cry? He spends all day either napping, with his face pressed against a great set of boobs, or having his balls wiped with a warm washcloth.”

    So now we batten down the hatches for Hurricane Bill. Good times.

  87. 87
    Aaron says:

    As an open thread, I feel this is a good spot to put a plug in for tonight’s episode of the Daily Show.

    Jon Stewart had on the lady who is apparently behind a lot of this “death panel” nonsense and it has been a fantastic interview that actually delves into policy.

    Comedians are now journalists and the journalists are comedians. Ugh

  88. 88
    Clutch414 says:

    Is anybody else watching Stewart absolutely destroy Betsy McCaughey?

  89. 89
    Steeplejack says:

    @John Cole:

    Good theme song, though, by Duran Duran. The least sucky of the later-period Bond theme songs.

    God, now I’m going to have nightmares about McCartney’s “Live and Let Die.”

  90. 90
    Aaron says:

    And congrats Redkitten!

  91. 91
    Aaron says:

    @Clutch414:

    Haha, good timing, clutch. This interview should be mandatory viewing for all the idiots who currently populate our mass media.

  92. 92
    Clutch414 says:

    @Aaron: She keeps walking into it and Stewart keeps landing haymakers.

  93. 93
    Fulcanelli says:

    Krista, your play by play post of Sam’s birth was one for the ages. Congrats and best wishes for all of you. Hubby’s lucky to have a woman with such a sense of humor. Especially now, as you’ll both need it.

    I know you’re single and sans children (as far as we know, heh) Mr. Cole, but in the future I would refrain from using the phrase “below the fold” when describing anything to do with a woman who has just given birth.

    What time is dinner at BHF’s digs? That menu has my mouth watering, especially the salmon.

  94. 94
    Aaron says:

    @Clutch414:

    I am not even sure if she knows she is getting intellectually abused. This has been classic . . .

  95. 95
    Clutch414 says:

    @Aaron: Shit, they cut the interview and are posting the rest of it online.

  96. 96
    freelancer says:

    Okay, I watched the Morning Joe segment with Taibbi from the other thread.

    Fucking OW!

    It took 3 Boulevard PA’s and last night’s episode of Leverage* to brainscrape the stoopid down to a tolerable level.

    *my favorite moment of the show:

    Eric with a ‘C’, nice and friendly. Erick with a ‘K’, evil.

    What’s this? Omg Wingnut Voltron is Go! Stand by for aRedStateStrikeForce Alert!

  97. 97
    Jimbo says:

    @John Cole: Roger Moore was never Bond! Do you hear me? It NEVER happened…

  98. 98
    Jimbo says:

    Oh, and Krista, congratulations! On both the beautiful baby AND making me spit Scotch out my nose reading your hilarious description…

    Seriously, congrats!

  99. 99
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    Hey, that’s my cat with the humiliating haircut!

    Poor little guy. He’s 18 and just can’t groom himself so well these days. His hair is so thick it gets matted in no time…this time they just shaved him and started over.

    The funny thing is, we always assumed he was obese. He was actually completely round. Turns out he was a rather svelte fella under all that hair!

  100. 100
    YellowJournalism says:

    Krista, the first half of that blog is pretty much what I went through the first time around, complete with the pitocin and waiting endlessly for the damn thing to dialate. But I was smart; I knew to ask for drugs the moment it was confirmed that contractions were starting. That epidural is heavenly…until it starts to wear off.

    You’re lucky the little guy latched on so easily. It is NOT fun to have four different nurses adjust your boob because the baby is having a difficult time. You start to feel like you’re in a painfully unsexy porno. It is doubly not fun to have that repeated for two days straight while you worry about your abilities to breastfeed. (I swear, if I had just been left alone after the first nurse showed me what to do, I would have been fine.)

    Hoping this time I will fall into the “had the baby an hour after showing up” category. Of course, that might mean no time for drugs. Ouch. And if anyone tries to tell me what to do with my breasts, I’m going to shove a pacifier up their nose.

  101. 101
    Brachiator says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    You and me both John, he was such a bad Bond it was not even funny, he was absolutely awful. Why he was ever chosen as Bond is a mystery to me, he was god damn awful.

    Moore had previously been very good in The Saint and pretty good in The Persuaders. And I know a few people who did not grow up with the Connery Bond (the absolute best) who actually prefer Moore to later Bonds.

    I asked a lady friend one time what it was like to give birth, she told me it was like shitting a watermelon.

    A good friend vividly described how painful, long and complicated her labor had been when she had her first child. So I was at first surprised when sometime later she called me and announced that she was pregnant again. But I learned that there is obviously something wonderfully mysterious about parental joy and love that apparently erases almost all traces of negative memory.

  102. 102
    Debbie(aussie) says:

    RedKitten- wonderful diary. Ocngrats to you and your hubby on the birth of Samuel.

    Speaking of border collies, have any of you guys read the comic strip “Footrot Flats”? It is set in NZ, the star is Dog and his owner Wal Footrot.

  103. 103
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @General Winfield Stuck:

    Here’s my favorite:

    Guy asks his wife if childbirth hurts. Wife says, “Well honey, it’s like this. Take hold of your upper lip and give it a good tug.”

    Guy gives it a try. “Not so bad,” he says.

    “Right,” says the wife. “Now take your lip and pull it over your head.”

  104. 104
    freelancer says:

    Where the hell did all the nite owl’s go?!

  105. 105
    freelancer says:

    @freelancer:

    Earlier today, TNC began a post

    http://ta-nehisicoates.theatla.....hi_age.php

    with this line:

    The coolest thing about getting old is liking things, that you didn’t think you ever would.

    And if I wasn’t so fucking lazy, and if more than 1 Atlantic blogger on my RSS feed had comments, I would have registered. If only to say something like:

    The coolest thing about getting old is liking things, that you didn’t think you ever would.

    …Say, for, perhaps, instance: unnecessary punctuation?

    There’s nothing more self-depricating and hypocritical than an inebriated Grammar-Nazi. Say, for instance, my last goddamned post:

    Where the hell did all the nite owl’s go?!

    Go? I need two pints of go. Could one direct me too these large-eyed, talon’d raptors who possess such a thing as “go”?

    FML.

    Freelancer +7~+8 (We had pitcher’s: its difficult, too! measure?]

  106. 106
    eco2geek says:

    What a great, entertaining account of childbirth. Congratulations, ouch, and thanks.

    (Here’s another fairly entertaining story about giving birth by Heather Armstrong, aka Dooce. Geez, she’s gone and trademarked her name since the last time I read her blog.)

  107. 107
    The Main Gauche of Mild Reason says:

    It should probably be noted that the vast majority of episiotomies performed in the US are unnecessary:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7722862

    Of course, I don’t know about them sokial ists in the frozen north…

  108. 108
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: OMG, is that your cat that was “marking” your PC cables? You didn’t mention he was a Maine Coon… those guys are… well, we use the term “pirates” when we’re being polite.

    As one friend phrased it, “Every cat will try to steal the bacon off your plate once or twice, but most of them give it up eventually because it’s just too much tsuris when you get upset about it. Maine Coons will keeptrying to steal your bacon, forever, because when you get all upset, that is not their problem.”

  109. 109
    freelancer says:

    Holy Shit

    It was mentioned here about Stewart’s interview with Death Panel inventor Betsy McCaughey and how awesome it was.

    Can a homeboy get a front-pager to post the extended interview?

    This is the state of Modern Political Debate.

    Our sage, quick-witted, humorous commentator via Stewart channeling Spencer Tracy’s Clarence Darrow proxy in Inherit the Wind, vs. Batshit Crazy Corporate Defender and all around emotional vampire Diana Christiansen from Network, played by Oscar Winning Faye Dunaway and personified by Betsy McCaughey.

    Forgive me if that’s a little meta, but trust me, it works.

  110. 110
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Debbie(aussie):

    Speaking of border collies, have any of you guys read the comic strip “Footrot Flats”? It is set in NZ, the star is Dog and his owner Wal Footrot.

    One of the nicest presents my Spousal Unit ever got me was a complete set of the numbered Footrot Flat collections! Murray Ball is practically unknown over here — we discovered him through Minneapolis science-fiction fans who brought the books back from Australian conventions. They are unlikely to ever be widely circulated in America, because ‘politically incorrect’ does not begin to describe Footrot Flats. I would recommend them unreservedly to anyone who loves Snoopy, Calvin & Hobbes, Greebo of the Discworld (whose name in NZ is Horse), or the idea of an earring-studded tortie cat who hangs out with a Maori motorcycle gang because she was born in an ancient boot and has a leather fetish.

    Whenever someone describes their adventures doing something particularly exciting and risky, like getting a tattoo or bungee-jumping, I always think of The Dog saying, “I would quite like a scar like Major’s [FF’s pig-hunting pit/mastiff], if only I could get it while under sedation and without breaking the skin.”

  111. 111
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Wow, do you ever have a good memory! That is indeed the same one. The vet said they just sometimes like the electro-charge field or whatever it is…

    Main coon, huh? Googled it, and he sure does look like one. Thanks for that. Do they usually have crooked tails? His looks like it got slammed in a door … one part goes this way, the other part goes the other.

  112. 112
    R-Jud says:

    If I think about it, I can actually remember every single contraction I had after they pitocin’d me up. So I’m not gonna think about it.

    Congrats again Krista, you did the equivalent of running a few back-to-back marathons there. Sounds like Sam is making it up to you by being an easy baby. Easy babies are pretty cool.

    Pet pics: Shaved kitty is totally plotting to get his own back. I’d sleep with a barricaded door if that were my cat.

  113. 113
    Anne Laurie says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    Main coon, huh? Googled it, and he sure does look like one. Thanks for that. Do they usually have crooked tails? His looks like it got slammed in a door … one part goes this way, the other part goes the other.

    I’m told the three marks that distinguish the Maine Coon are ear-tufts (which your guy is showing off so prominently, ‘snowshoe’ feet with lots of fur between the toes, and a prominent ‘lion ruff’ and ‘squirrel tail’. Also, they usually have ridiculously squeaky little voices for their size, like Tom Selleck.

    Siamese (and sometimes the other ‘oriental’ breeds) are known for a recessive gene that gives them a ‘kink’ in the last tail-tip bone. But if your boy’s crook is half-way along his tail, my guess would be that he actually did get it slammed in a door, because MCs are also escape artists and entry-darters, like all good pirates…

  114. 114
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Anne Laurie:

    Check on the ear tufts, feet, and ruff. Also the squirrel tail … and sure ’nuff, he does squeak.

    He was the runt of a litter living in the parking lot of my son’s apt complex, so anything is possible with that tail kink.

    Thanks for the edumacashun.

  115. 115
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @R-Jud:

    Pet pics: Shaved kitty is totally plotting to get his own back. I’d sleep with a barricaded door if that were my cat.

    Far too passive-agressive for that. Tends to pee and poop in unwanted places when he wants to be perverse.

    Although as I recall he was actually pretty comfy without all that hair during the hot summer. Just slightly stunned by it.

  116. 116
    Dreggas says:

    Ok no more talk about birthin babies. Bad enough i hear about it all day at work considering people either have had or are having them soon. Srsly it’s scarin the bejesus out of me considering my soon to be wife and i are planning to have one or two.

  117. 117
    RedKitten says:

    @Dreggas: The bizarre thing, though, is that all the cliches are true — once you’ve got the baby in your arms, all the pain you went through really doesn’t matter anymore. Samuel’s napping right now, and looking at his gorgeous little self, bundled up in that tiny little sleeper, I’m trying to figure out how he managed to completely steal my heart so quickly.

    I definitely won’t wait as long to get an epidural the next time, though. Lesson learned.

  118. 118
    R-Jud says:

    @Dreggas:

    Srsly it’s scarin the bejesus out of me considering my soon to be wife and i are planning to have one or two.

    Don’t worry, Dreggas. She was built to do it. It really is not that bad.

  119. 119
    Dogbert's Tech Support says:

    WELL DONE, RedKitten! Congratulations! Little boys are wonderful creatures. I hope you and your husband are enjoying him and getting some sleep.

    (And I am so, so glad my son arrived on an airplane and not through any orifice of mine. It was still love at first sight.)

  120. 120
    Debbie(aussie) says:

    Ann Laurie, not surprised about the p(i)c ness issue. My son has the numbered issues too. Hadn’t thought about greebo and horse, but you are so right. I too am a Discworld fan.

Comments are closed.