Looks Like I Missed A Lot

Almost two days without internet, and it looks like I missed a lot:

makeitstop

Without reading one story, let me guess: one random person on the internet makes something up, several others repeat it, then dozens of gravely offended right-wingers rush to defend Sarah’s honor, Palin camp denies the rumor, we spend the next two weeks talking about what a victim Sarah Palin is.

Am I getting this right?

I hope I lose my internet again.






52 replies
  1. 1
    Craig says:

    Funny how one goofy website in Alaska now constitutes “The Media.” You’d think CNN was running this wall-to-wall, the way these people whine.

    I remember the 90s so fondly, when no one ever, ever, ever aired loose speculation about the state of the Clintons’ marriage.

  2. 2
    Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice says:

    I’m aware of no proof that Sarah and Todd Palin were married to begin with. I insist on seeing the certified vault copy of their long-form marriage certificate. When all they have to do is release it to quell these ugly rumors, their failure to do so is highly suspicious.

  3. 3
    Maude says:

    Unless Michael Jackson’s doctor gets indicted.

  4. 4
    mai naem says:

    I think Palin creates the rumors so that she can shoot them down. It’s a win-win for her. She gets pity and hopefully $$$ from her and also too, she gets to stay in the limelight. I really don’t care because the money that goes to this grifter is less money that goes to other Republicans. Fringe benefit is that she shows how stoopid she and her followers really are.

  5. 5
    Robertdsc-iphone says:

    I wonder if the Alaskan blogger who “broke” this will come clean if the story is shown to be false.

    Of course, if things break the wrong way & they DO get divorced, I bet the fur is really gonna fly.

    My starbursts remain undiminished.

  6. 6
    Cat Lady says:

    I have been out of the country with virtually no access to news. We are a strange people here, caught up in the most inane drivel. The broadcast media is far worse than what I recall from my high school days, when the high school newspaper staff worked very hard to be relevant and accurate. I’ve stopped watching the “news”, and have re-committed to books. It’s time for the MSM to die when you’re stupider for having watched any of it.

  7. 7
    gnomedad says:

    Sarah Palin victimology training video.

  8. 8
    Fern says:

    The one allegation that I am prepared to believe is that Palin interfered in the prosecution of Sherry Johnson – totally consistent with previous abuses of power such as the trooper thingie.

    About a divorce/separation? I don’t have an opinion on that one.

  9. 9
    HRA says:

    Palin had to make her last statement about the media and bloggers true. No doubt this was a plan to capture the spotlight once again as well.

    I was bored after I finished all that had to be done on the weekend and my current book. I looked through various blogs and media for their take on it. Only one liberal blog had it cited and it was with the denial by the Palin camp.
    Waiting for the wailing to commence against the liberals any time now.

    BTW it’s tough to verify there are actual Wasilla folks agreeing there is something wrong in the Palin Camelot.

    I truly understand where you are coming from, John and I concur.

  10. 10
    Bill H says:

    Who is Sherry Johnson, what is she being prosecuted for, and by whom?

  11. 11
    gnomedad says:

    Palin victimology explained.

  12. 12
    geg6 says:

    Bill H: She is Levi Johnson’s mother. Levi is the Palin daughter’s baby daddy. Sherry Johnson is being prosecuted for earning her living the way apparently many Wasilla residents do, dealing meth. It’s all very trailer trashy, which is what you’d expect with respect to anything to do with the Palins.

  13. 13
    geg6 says:

    Oh, and yes, I’m ahamed to know all of that. Making note to self: step away from the MSM.

  14. 14
    Laura W says:

    Unless Michael Jackson’s doctor gets indicted.

    That’s small taters compared to the return of Jon & Kate Pimp Eight tomorrow.

    http://tvwatch.people.com/2009.....8-returns/

    While Jon recently told PEOPLE that he’s “single — per se”

    I guess it all depends on what the meaning of “single” is. Or perhaps “per se”? That short sentence confuses me for some reason.
    MSNBC reported just this morning that friends say “Jon is like a kid in a candy store” right now, so you can see how hard it is going to be to get to The Truth here with so many reliable anonymous sources. At least we can be fairly certain that “drugs might have played a role in Michael Jackson’s death.”

  15. 15
    geg6 says:

    Oh, silly Laura W. Didn’t you know that Jon is dating some 22yo honey? And that she and Kate got into a catfight? That’s probably the whole “per se” thing. I know because I saw it in line at the grocery store.

  16. 16
    Betty Bird says:

    It is so obvious that the media/Palin have bought into the theory that any publicity is good publicity; in other words – keep Sarah Palin in the news no matter what she does. I have had enough and will no longer read/click onto sites with her name attached. She may be a money spinner for the media, but that is not enough to attract my interest.

  17. 17
    Laura W says:

    @geg6: I did not know that! I was riveted by “Jen’s Revenge” (Aniston) while in line at my grocery store.

    http://www.sponkit.com/jennife.....e-romance/

    That woman is some hot serial dater! Bet Brad’s sorry now.

    “Let me put it this way,” says a source on the New York set of their movie, The Bounty. “They’re both hot and single! After they finish a scene, they stick around so they can hang out with each other. Neither is in a rush to leave.”

    The pair have adjoining trailers, and they’ve been seen dashing off to Jen’s haven for a private “lunch.” (per se) During one recent visit, Gerard stayed in Jen’s trailer for 30 minutes.

    Who can keep up with these fascinating lives? Exhausting.

  18. 18
    ppcli says:

    “geg6:
    Bill H: She is Levi Johnson’s mother. Levi is the Palin daughter’s baby daddy. Sherry Johnson is being prosecuted for earning her living the way apparently many Wasilla residents do, dealing meth. It’s all very trailer trashy, which is what you’d expect with respect to anything to do with the Palins.”

    This is the kind of vile slander that Sarah has rightly condemned coming from you Demon-rat Lie-bruls.
    She was dealing Oxycontin.

  19. 19
    geg6 says:

    ppcli: Silly me. I can’t tell those Real American drugs apart. So was she one of Rush’s pipelines, so to speak?

  20. 20
    Tara the antisocial social worker says:

    It all started when Sarah was overheard saying, “Gosh, it’s been a few days since I quit anything…”

  21. 21
    gex says:

    @ppcli: Dealing Oxy? Whose side does Rush take? Sarah Palin’s or Sherry Johnson’s? Dilemmas…

  22. 22

    Don’t know about any of this, and quite strangely enough, I don’t care. Someone poke me when Palin announces her next campaign, and then I will give a damn about her again.

  23. 23

    Oh, and The Immoral Minority is a very good blog. Because he’s the one to break the story, I would lean towards believing the report–if I gave a damn. Which I don’t.

  24. 24
    CapMidnight says:

    The only news source I trust is William Shatner‘s beat poetry.

  25. 25

    […] from Balloon Juice’s John Cole: Without reading one story, let me guess: one random person on the internet makes something up, […]

  26. 26
    Church Lady says:

    @Laura W: When you can give direct quotes, we know that you actually bought the rag, rather than just skimming it while standing in line. :)

    @geg6: You forgot the most important tidbit about Jon’s paramour. She is the daughter of the plastic surgeon that did Kate’s tummy tuck. And yes, I picked up that need-to-know info while standing in the check-out line.

    We all have to face the fact that if we EVER grocery shop, we have a glancing idea of what is going on in the Celebrity of the Month’s life. Did you know that Tony Romo dumped Jessica because she was so needy?

  27. 27

    I agree that it is absolutely pathetic to waste time on such rumors. Let’s stick to facts and talk about how Palin bailed on the Republican Housewives of Simi Valley.

    Two Predictions: 1. She’ll pull this stunt a few more times then whine because no one invites her to fling disjointed phonemes all over a paying audience anymore also. 2. HarperCollins will never see the book or the advance youbetcha.

    @Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice: F.T. Muthafuckin’ W.

  28. 28
    gnomedad says:

    Palin victimhood methodology explained.

    (Maybe this will post this time.)

  29. 29
    gex says:

    @gnomedad: What’s sad is those parents are the ones who trained that kid to seek out people for whom to throw a tantrum. Now they think it’s a funny video.

    When he’s older, I hope they continue their fine parenting work and train the kid to nail dad in the balls for America’s Funniest Home Videos (aka Ouch, My Balls!).

  30. 30
    Mr Furious says:

    Quitters renew their vows. Fighters file for divorce. I don’t do marriage-as-usual. Also.

  31. 31
    Brachiator says:

    Without reading one story, let me guess: one random person on the internet makes something up, several others repeat it, then dozens of gravely offended right-wingers rush to defend Sarah’s honor, Palin camp denies the rumor, we spend the next two weeks talking about what a victim Sarah Palin is. Am I getting this right?

    Pretty much. The only wrinkle you missed:

    Wingnuts accuse the MSM of deliberately spreading rumors about Palin in order to provide cover for Obama, and ramp up birther and even more insane scurrilous nonsense about Obama’s mother and grandmother in order to even the score.

    Note here that for the wingnuts Palin has become the official Shadow Queen of the United States. Also, too.

  32. 32
    geg6 says:

    Church Lady: I thought it was because she’s FAT and wears MOM JEANS. Which probably makes her a commie like our dad jean wearing ay-rab overlord who throws like a sissy.

  33. 33
    Dr. Loveless says:

    @mai naem:

    I think Palin creates the rumors so that she can shoot them down. It’s a win-win for her. She gets pity and hopefully $$$ from her and also too, she gets to stay in the limelight.

    It’s the political version of Munchausen’s syndrome.

  34. 34
    Comrade Darkness says:

    Dear lord this starbursty attention whore can’t stand to be out of the news for even half a cycle.

  35. 35
    Edsel Daphne says:

    I have to second the sentiments of Mr. Maloney. It is almost well known in certain Alaskan circles that the Coheekish traditions of marriage dissolution, once the relationship cools 150 degrees from what it was and 150 degrees from where it will be, is to throw the wedding ring into a lake. Even if said ring floats. We now have visual proof of a married former Governor NOT wearing a ring. And how dare you question the veracity of Alaskans! Even the quasi-Mrs. Palin would’ve told anyone who wouldn’t listen, Alaskans never lie. At worst, they hedge. I here strongly recommend that Mr. Cole, if that is his real supplication, should start a tip jar directly related to the purchase of a billboard which respectfully inquires:

    WHERE IS THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE?

    And let this be a warning to you, Mr. Cole, should you deny my suggestion, I shall on my own start a fund to pay for a billboard that will demand, “BALLON JUICE – WHERE IS YOUR BLOG CERTIFICATE?”

    Signed,
    A Divorcer And Proud Of it

  36. 36

    [slams head on desk, repeatedly]

  37. 37
    NutellaonToast says:

    Oh John, you had my hopes so high until I read the second article in memorandumb. That would be awesome. Especially if she had an affair. With Greta Van Sustren (sp?)

  38. 38
    Brachiator says:

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    Let’s stick to facts and talk about how Palin bailed on the Republican Housewives of Simi Valley.

    And yet, amazingly, the Republican group is willing to provide cover for Palin (from the Ventura County Star):

    [Group spokeswoman Pat Saraceno:] “There’s no harm, no foul. We always respected the (former) governor’s right to change course.”

    I wonder how much longer Republican groups will put up with Palin’s behavior? And if she is unreliable on the fund-raising circuit, I would think that her value to the GOP declines significantly.

    HarperCollins will never see the book or the advance youbetcha.

    Oh sure they will. This is what ghostwriters are for. Also, too.

  39. 39
    sven says:

    Thank god there are no internet fueled crazy rumors about President Obama….

  40. 40
    Feebog says:

    Well here we are in August, traditionally the slowest political news month of the year, so no surprise that any story, no matter how lame or stupid should be talked up. Palin is political toast at this point anyway. Quitting was the final straw. She is starting the slow slide into obscurity, and by 2011 no one is going to consider her a serious candidate, or even a serious voice within the Republican Party.

  41. 41
    Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice says:

    As the story takes its natural course, Palin’s favorite correspondence-school attorney threatens to serve libel papers on a blogger in front of a room full of five-year-olds.

  42. 42
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    I do think that the divorce rumors are likely bullshit, but all the same, this thread is chock full of win!

  43. 43
    Thrashbluegrass says:

    Every time something this ridiculous comes up for the Nth time, I can’t help but be reminded of the following passage in Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World Revisited, in the chapter titled Propaganda in a Democratic Society:

    In regard to propaganda the early advocates of universal literacy and a free press envisaged only two possibilities: the propaganda might be true, or it might be false. They did not forsee what in fact has happened, above all in our Western capitalist democracies – the development of a vast mass communications industry, concerned in the main neither with the true nor the false, but with the unreal, the more or less totally irrelevant. In a word, they failed to take into account man’s almost infinite appetite for distractions.

  44. 44
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @Edsel Daphne: once the relationship cools 150 degrees from what it was and 150 degrees from where it will be,

    No wonder everyone in Alaska seems so distant from everyone else. Every voyage involves a really bizarre compass.

  45. 45
    inkadu says:

    Sarah Palin is not hard news. She’s entertainment news. Standards are different.

  46. 46
    Ron says:

    @Joey Maloney a/k/a The Bard Of Balloon Juice:

    I’m aware of no proof that Sarah and Todd Palin were married to begin with. I insist on seeing the certified vault copy of their long-form marriage certificate. When all they have to do is release it to quell these ugly rumors, their failure to do so is highly suspicious.

    That is a serious WIN.

  47. 47
    jenniebee says:

    one random person on the internet makes something up, several others repeat it,

    Oh yeah? That’s an interesting game.

    BTW, I heard that she canceled the Reagan library appearance because one of her kids – I think it was Sphagnum – was busted for drugs.

    It’s on the internets now, so it must be tru-ish.

  48. 48
    Anne Laurie says:

    That’s small taters compared to the return of Jon & Kate Pimp Eight tomorrow.
    “While Jon recently told PEOPLE that he’s “single — per se” “
    I guess it all depends on what the meaning of “single” is. Or perhaps “per se”? That short sentence confuses me for some reason.

    No, no, what Jon actually said is that he’s “single purse-y”, meaning that his money is solely his to spend, so c’mon young honeys with a taste for passive-aggressive about-to-no-longer-be-married guys! Move fast, honeys, ’cause of course once the lawyers (Kate’s or the show’s) lock down the last of the bank accounts, it’s gonna be hard times at Chez Jon-Minus-Nine, until he can set up some kind of money-trickle “D-List D-Bags” unreality show…

  49. 49
    Morbo says:

    What the hell is the deal with the picture they’re using? She looks like Dusty Gazongas from that episode of ATHF.

  50. 50
    bago says:

    @jenniebee: The phrase is O RLY?

  51. 51
    CalD says:

    Maybe fate will smile upon you and knock out your cable “news” too.

  52. 52

    Nothing to see here…

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