Like father, like son, I guess:
The son of former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani tried to make a federal case against Duke University for kicking him off the golf team. But a federal magistrate says Andrew Giuliani’s case belongs in the drink.
Wallace Dixon, of North Carolina’s Middle District, offered his opinion on the case this week, in a document peppered with references to golf and the movie “Caddyshack.”
[….]Duke contends that Giuliani squandered his opportunity to be on the team after flipping a putter, breaking a driver, gunning his car engine in a golf course parking lot and throwing an apple in the face of a teammate. The misconduct got Giuliani bumped off the team last year.
(h/t reader RC)
Old Gringo
I like this judge already, and I don’t say that often about a judge.
gbear
Yea, but he’s a spoiled rich pampered jerk, so it’s OK to do that stuff.
Napoleon
If Andrew Giuliani is kicked off that golf team the terrorist will have won!
Also noun, verb and 9/11!
Actually I am half way suprised cross dressing, having an affair while married and maintaining a love nest were not involved as well.
The Saff
Nut doesn’t fall too far from the tree.
NonyNony
I like this part:
It’s very easy to provide evidence of the existence of a contract – you show the contract to the judge. That way you don’t get into these existential arguments about the contract. If you got an “oral contracts” or somesuch, well, my father raised me with the knowledge that oral contracts are in practice usually worth slightly less than the value of the paper they’re written on.
fliegr
You mean to tell me that Rudy Giuliani’s kid is an asshole aglow with a sense of entitlement? The hell you say…
Punchy
Do you lib’rul pantywastes ever consider that maybe Andrew flipped his putter at a terrorist, then broke his driver over said terrorist’s noggin, then gunned the engine to make a speedy getaway to inform the cops and his dad about the existance of Brown Things on his whites-only golf course?
Keith
The part of that story that jumped out at me was the guy on the golf team who said Giuliani Part Deuxfus shattered an apple on his face from point-blank range. Real class, there.
harlana pepper
As much as I avoid it, Cheney keeps coming up on my teevee screen. Please. Make it stop.
(maybe not, this could be good)
NonWonderDog
Cheney: “blah blah blah 9/11 9/11 9/11 blah blah blah as I hid in an underground bunker at the White House blah blah 9/11 9/11 fear 9/11 blah blah 9/11 fear.”
FOX News spent three days straight excoriating Joe Biden for saying he visited an underground bunker at the Naval Observatory, and they claimed that Joe Biden had committed one of the worst leaks of state secrets in US history by confirming its existence.
Face
Did anyone else notice that Lil’ Guiliani tossed an Apple at his teammate, and not a PC?
See? Even spoiled shitbag Republicans know what junk Apples have become.
harlana pepper
justifying torture, go man, go
calling all toasters
I guess we have next year’s NCPAC keynote speaker: a noun, a verb, and liberal ivory-tower Duke University.
Old Gringo
“Do you lib’rul pantywastes”
Don’t ask me why but it is actually “panty waist”.
cleek
a penchant for frivolous litigation is a key skill for golfers these days. Duke will regret this move.
srv
I think Paul L. needs to get on this one.
Boy is destined for politics.
Napoleon
@harlana pepper:
It is a good thing. The more Cheney is the face of the GOP the better it is for the Dems.
Old Gringo
I’d like to complain to the management. I accidentally used my actual email address for some comments and they were all “awaiting moderation”.
On second thought, I regret what I said in most of those comments and don’t mind the fact that they have been “disappeared”.
Nevermind.
Ash Can
@ Saff #3: “Nut doesn’t fall too far from the tree.”
Apple doesn’t fall too far from the horse.
Michael
9/11 changed everything……
noncarborundum
@Old Gringo:
Close. It’s actually “pantywaist” (one word). Etymonline.com has this to say:
Eric U.
Isn’t this the kid that Giuliani took to one of his press conferences, and the kid wouldn’t shut up? Even on their worst days, my kids wouldn’t have done that.
neddie jingo
“Do you lib’rul pantywastes”
Don’t ask me why but it is actually “panty waist”.
I dunno — I think I could be described as a waste of perfectly good panties.
linda
take a look at that smug little prick’s face. doesn’t it just scream ‘entitlement’…
norbizness
Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger… no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake…
Judge Smails: You’ll get nothing, and like it.
cleek
or, the waste which has besmirched a formerly-good pair of panties.
TR
Dick Cheney on TV right now being the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen. It’s like he’s trying to drive his approval ratings into the single digits. Wow.
My favorite part was how he shifted on a dime from insisting “enhanced interrogation techniques” were totally different from “torture,” to ridiculing Democrats for not wanting to call it a “war on terror” or liking his term “enemy combatants.” Wordplay is important when he does it, but stupid when other people do it.
Go fuck yourself, Cheney.
linda
cheney keeps choking on his bilious lies…
JL
@NonWonderDog: I’m just now watching Obama. He is making a very convincing case. Since I will not watch Cheney, how did his speech compare to Obama’s?
harlana pepper
unbelievable, this is just un-freaking-believable, criticizing Obama, this cannot stand
Old Gringo
@noncarborundum
Nitpicker.
:-)
Or is that two words?
Damn ~! You got me doing it.
greynoldsct00
The kid looks like Gary Busy, now we know he acts like him too
valdivia
like JL I watched Obama’s fantastic grown up speech but refuse to watch Cheney. What is he up to?
harlana pepper
@linda: I KNOW! I noticed that – it made me wonder for a fleeting moment if he had some semblance of a conscience
this is just outrageous, I am honestly appalled
somebody needs to just beat this evil old man with his own cane, beat him senseless
Rosali
I don’t know why Andrew went to court. Sometimes in life you need to just keep on walking.
Zifnab
Robert Bork disapproves of your frivolous lawsuits.
NonWonderDog
Cheney just argued that
tortureenhanced interrogation can never be a recruitment tool for terrorists, because the terrorists hate us for our freedoms, not our tyranny.He is now arguing that releasing the torture memos made us less safe, because Obama handed a propaganda victory to the terrorists.
That’s just about how the entire speech has gone.
KevinNYC
Actually, I think Andrew Giuliani would be more likely to campaign for Romney than his Dad. I believe both Giuliani kids wouldn’t campaign for him last time because they are still so pissed at how he treated their mother during the the divorce.
If you remember, he
Invited reporters and camera crews to a date while he was still married
Announced he was getting divorced on TV before telling his wife
Tried to kick his wife out of her house (Gracie Mansion, the mayoral residence). Failing that he tried to get her to agree to let his mistress come over to visit her house where her kids were
Had his divorce lawyer refer to her as “howling like a stuck pig.” ON MOTHER’S DAY.His Divorce lawyer also said they would have to “drag her out” of Gracie Mansion and she would be “clinging to the chandeliers.”
So Andrew is not a fan of Rudy
Bill Belichick
Fifty bucks the Smalls Kid picks his nose.
Old Gringo
One of my faves: Entymology.com
Brian J
At least the son has the good sense not to associate with his father. Whatever other issues of entitlement and pettiness he has to deal with, that’s a mark in his favor.
Actually, I feel kind of bad for that snark–only kind of, though. But really, part of me hopes Giuliani runs for governor and then president some day. He’s leading the charge against gay marriage in New York, and since we already know he has a terrible (if entirely self-inflicted) relationship with his children, I’m looking forward to hear the reasoning some on the right will come up with when they claim a thrice-divorced man whose own children won’t talk to him is the embodiment of family values.
TR
And worse, all the contradictions and self-serving bullshit in his speech has been delivered with a condescending sneer.
Just wrapped up, and Chris Matthews immediately notes that it’s odd to see Dick Cheney defending the CIA after spending years fighting publicly with them.
Lawrence O’Donnell says “this was as sleazy a presentation by a vice president as we’ve had since Spiro Agnew. … He lies about the other side repeatedly.” Yep, that’s about right.
Legalize
Did Cheney take a shot at the President because his speech was lengthy? If so, why does private citizen douche clown Cheney believe that anyone gives a fuck about what he thinks is an appropriate length of a speech given by the sitting president?
Old Gringo
@zinfab
Bork’s cred as a true “originalist” are in doubt.
But to be fair to Judge Bork, he was always more of a “Natural Law” kinda guy.
harlana pepper
Lawrence O’Donnell: sleaziest presentation since perhaps Spiro Agnew, lies, lies, lies
I am just glad to see some immediate mainstream outrage, I’m flabbergasted
valdivia
@NonWonderDog:
Any bets that the MSM gives Cheney top billing instead of Obama?
noncarborundum
@Old Gringo:
Now you’re just teasing.
Dennis-SGMM
@noncarborundum:
Thanks for pointing out that site – I think. I’ll probably blow half of Labor Day weekend poring over it.
TR
Jack Rice, former CIA special agent is now mocking Cheney for pretending to be a defender of the CIA and the Constitution. Brings up how Abu Zadiyeh was tortured 183 times with no results. Ouch.
valdivia
@harlana pepper:
so glad to hear this! I was sure the Village would be making sure Cheney’s speech was sen as well received.
R-Jud
@Dennis-SGMM:
Jeez, Dennis, talk about planning ahead.
Old Gringo
I’m quite serious about my teasing.
Dennis-SGMM
It’s the “Home of the brave,” Dick. You dick.
GregB
Liz Cheney is going to come out of her pod to defend Count Dracula.
Go Liz, you ghoulish nepotist.
-G
in canaduh
was it a plastic macbook or the macbook pro?
kay
@valdivia:
I can’t watch, but I read it. I love that speech very much.
Dennis-SGMM
@R-Jud:
At sixty-one, my amusements are a bit circumscribed.
eric
Dennis, you got circumscribed at 61? didn’t that hurt?
GregB
9/11 is Dick Cheney’s Mardi Gras.
He throws beads at Lynn and gets shitfaced and laughs and laughs and laughs.
-G
noncarborundum
@Dennis-SGMM:
My goodness, you do plan way ahead.
kay
@valdivia:
I don’t think Lawrence O’Donnell is representative of them, sadly. Something happened to him. He reached some kind of tipping point. He tells the truth.
NonWonderDog
@harlana pepper:
-Patrick J. Buchanan
Remember, it’s all about pissing off the liberals. This or something like it will probably become the next village meme.
hidflect
Wasn’t Duke the surname of the brothers Randolph and Mortimer who bet $1 that a “negro” could do the same job as the poncy, entitled financier in “Trading Places”?
AhabTRuler
@Dennis-SGMM: Hey, if you have made it to sixty-one, why not take up Heroin?
R-Jud
@Dennis-SGMM: I was more concerned about the fact that Labor Day is a few months off yet. Which would actually imply that your calendar is jammed in the meantime.
Legalize
It was the Dukes! It was the Dukes!
Bill E Pilgrim
O/T Okay this is funny.
Not so much this part, which is midly amusing:
But the funny part is that the guy’s name is “LaTourette”. Talk about aptly named.
valdivia
@kay:
his speech was everything i wanted to hear. he is methodically building a system that was destroyed by this fools and making sure it is not torn down after he leaves. we have a smart president.
what you do get from hearing the speech and not from the text is how pissed he was at having to explain even basic rule of law to the idiots that have been making outrageous arguments against him for the past few weeks.
Old Gringo
Even Scalia’s rep as an “originalist” is in question.
Legal History Blog
Like Entymology.com, – but more legal.
R-Jud
@Legalize:
The Thin White Duke?
MikeJ
Duke Law School was Tricky Dick’s Alma Mater.
KevinNYC
Giuliani leading the charge against gay marriage is quite rich. And he means he’s going to run again for something.
During his divorce when he needed a place to live he became the roommate of a gay couple who were friends of his. Rent-free I believe.
That gay couple got married this month in CT. Rudy was an invited guest and he back out at the last second.
flukebucket
I like my panties without the waste.
harlana pepper
david gregory also justifying torture, as is expected
vomit
Ash
I can’t even describe how much I hate Dick Cheney. Like….just hearing his voice makes me shudder with rage.
Michael
Channeling Roscoe P Coltrane?
valdivia
@harlana pepper:
but of course, he dances with Rove so these guys are his buddies and he must defend them. can we just get rid of them all?
Old Gringo
Not many people are aware of what has dribbled from this man’s mouth. It is a real shame he has a soapbox to stand on and a megaphone to shout though.
lilysmom
Every time I hear the name of Rudy Guiliani, the movie poster from Saw comes to mind.
Mike in NC
I almost got assigned the job of managing one of those underground bunkers, and for a brief time had this fantasy of bumping into Cheney as he tried to find the head in the middle of the night.
Old Gringo
I disagree. Without Cheney-Bush, the GOP brand would still be viable. We owe them. They did America a great service.
Bill E Pilgrim
@noncarborundum:
Is that a site about the origins of words run by bugs or something??
JL
Political wire said that Obama’s speech was about the future while Cheney’s speech was about the past. Cheney is all about protecting himself.
Cheney was hoping that Bush would not only pardon Libby but pardon him against future litigation. Now he’s a bitter old cranky man.
Dennis-SGMM
@R-Jud:
Thanks for not pointing out my senile confusing of the two “Day weekends”. Who knows where the time goes?
kay
@valdivia:
Me too. A beautiful thing, that speech. I’ll try to listen to it at some point, but the text is perfect.
I couldn’t be happier with someone finally laying it out. About time. I learned this in 7th grade, and I wasn’t a particularly good student, either.
Why did it take so long to say it? I’ll be crushed if Americans reject it.
Ash
@kay: The text was good, but there were some key moments where he deviated from the prepared remarks.
Cat G
It should be noted that a couple of years ago Bork sued the Yale Club for $1 million for a slip and fall accident. Damn those scurrilous ambulance chasing lawyers…oh….wait.
Old Gringo
Damn!
Busted.
Etymology. I always do that.
Bill E Pilgrim
@Old Gringo:
Sorry, didn’t mean to, wait for it…. nitpick.
cleek
i prefer Entenmannsology.com . it’s all about cookies and donuts.
Quaker in a Basement
The judge threw out his lawsuit and quoted Caddyshack in the process?
Ouch! I bet that stung.
Comrade Darkness
@R-Jud, Nah. Daisy.
Ah, Michael AKA General Lee beat me to it.
"Fair and Balanced" Dave
After reading the article, the line from “Caddyshack” that immediately comes to mind is, “Now I know why tigers eat their young”!
Mel
Kid isn’t all bad–hasn’t spoken to daddy in a long time. Everyone should empathize with a kid from a broken family and a dysfunctional father.
Mike Licht
The Andy Giuliani case hasn’t done much for law or the sport, but it sure has revived the Golf Joke.
See:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/05/21/giuliani-golf-tour/
binzinerator
@fliegr:
‘Assholes Aglow’ is just crying out for John to add it as a new category.
Trouble is, it describes pretty well most goopers so it’d fill up pretty rapidly.
gil mann
“Plaintiff is not all right.”
Not so much a quote as a reference, but it’d be awesome if he cut a hole in a manila folder, stuck his hand through it, and gave Giuliani the finger.
Wile E. Quixote
First the lacrosse team, now the golf team. Are any of the candy-assed white guy sports at Duke immune from scandal? How long before Paul L. shows up and starts crying “miscarriage of justice”? Any takers?
Quaker in a Basement
Wow! The judge compared the Giuliani kid to Carl Spackler? Any dang fool can see that young Giuliani is more like Sterling Smails than Carl Spackler
It’s bad enough when judges rewrite the Constitution, but rewriting Caddyshack?!? It’s torch and pitchfork time!
Joanne
Is Andrew the kid who was mugging when his father was making a speech a long while ago? Rudy was married to Donna Hanover at the time. He was an obnoxious kid then and if he’s the one I remember, it looks he didn’t grow out of it.
Wile E. Quixote
@Joanne
Yeah, he’s a pig-eyed little sack of shit isn’t he. It’s no wonder that tubby’s going out for golf, waddling from his cart to the green is probably about all that that fat little toad can do without getting winded.
Speaking of fat guys getting winded I’m about to go to the gym. I love working out. I started lifting weights lately, taking it easy so I don’t break anything and I do a lot of cardio but today I’m afraid to go because I know that at least four of the TVs there will be tuned to Faux News or it’s retarded brother CNN which will be showing either
The Cheney Speech or excerpts from the Cheney speech.
Villagers on CNN commenting on the Cheney speech and talking about how this is a setback for Obama.
The usual group of short-bus riding, incontinent window-lickers on Faux saying “Oh yeah, you da man Dick Cheney”.
Those fucking annoying ads run by “Conservatives for Health Insurance Companies” or whatever they’re called where they talk about how health care is horrible in England and Canada because everyone is taxed to pay for abortions and sex-change surgery for DFHs, negros, muslims and illegal immigrants but you can’t have anesthesia, the wait for an MRI is 3,600 years and old people are left on ice floes to die.
You know, now that I think about it the most painful part of my workout is watching the goddamned TVs at the gym.
debbie
@Joanne:
“Is Andrew the kid who was mugging when his father was making a speech a long while ago?”
Yes, it was during his father’s inauguration speech as Mayor. Even better was the SNL take-off with Chris Farley playing Andrew.
Ray Radlein
“A noun and a verb and a nine-iron”
Kilkee
Odd about Andrew. By all accounts his sister Caroline is a lovely person. And loathes her Dad, to boot, which supports the notion that she’s a fine young lady.