Earth hour

I don’t have much of an opinion about Earth Hour, but I have to say that the Big Hollywood reaction to it puts the Red State reaction to shame:

One Billion Turn Out Lights to Highlight Threat from Climate Change. When Lights Return, One Million Infidels Found Killed by Terrorists

OK, so if you were mujahedeen, after Saturday night’s display of defiance and retaliation by the Free World against global warming/cooling/something, wouldn’t you totally be like:

“Hey, Infidel — Look! Does one cloud look darker to you than the other?”

“Ohmygod — where?!” (Infidel looks up.)

Sound of throat slashing.

“Works every time! Works every time!” the mujahed laughs to himself as he moves on to the next vigilant infidel.

Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

Am I silly not to have noticed this link between the threat of global terrorism and the threat of global climate change?

62 replies
  1. 1
    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist says:

    Am I silly not to have noticed this link between the threat of global terrorism and the threat of global climate change?

    Not especially. But how did you manage to read that without laughing yourself unconscious?

    Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

    I thought it was "potential political embarrassment" -> "elevated terrorism thread (condition Orange!)"

  2. 2
    LD50 says:

    Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

    Is there some alternate reality where this shit makes the tiniest bit of sense?

  3. 3

    Why would you look at a cloud after Earth Hour?

    This doesn’t make any sense.

  4. 4
    DougJ says:

    Not especially. But how did you manage to read that without laughing yourself unconscious?

    I only now awoke from it.

  5. 5
    Ricky Bobby says:

    Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

    What the fuck does this even mean?

  6. 6
    Zam says:

    So climate change is a plot by Al Qaeda to distract us? Guess it explains the Al Gore beard.

  7. 7
    Warren Terra says:

    It all makes sense once you start by assuming murderous mujaheddin all over the place, just waiting for the lights to go out so they can wreak havoc. I wonder if the author and their intended readers are even remotely able to sleep without prescription medication.

    P.S. Anyone else think that these people have confused the terrorists with the Vashta Nerada?

  8. 8
    Dusty says:

    Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

    Did I miss the other times when we faced the threat of global terrorism and/or the threat of global climate change? Isn’t this the first time for, like, both of those things? I’m no history expert or anything, but, still. One other time. When was it?

  9. 9
    Keith says:

    I found the author’s bio amusing:

    Julia Gorin is among the most recognized names in conservative comedy. She was profiled in the book South Park Conservatives, and her humor was featured in "Penthouse" magazine.

    I wonder if it was featured adjacent to their "Piss Pic of the Month".

  10. 10
    Xanthippas says:

    Jesus…are all right-wingers so bitchy and whiny?

  11. 11
    Dusty says:

    “Hey, Infidel — Look! Does one cloud look darker to you than the other?”

    Why would this even be notable? I now live in an urban area, so it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the night sky, but it’s not exactly uniform in color. I think someone calling me an "infidel" would be more distracting. What’s the "one cloud" supposed to be? ‘Cause planes aren’t cloud-shaped. Is it supposed to be a UFO or something?

    There’s just so many things wrong with those seven lines of text.

  12. 12
    Incertus says:

    How long before Breitbart offers Dayana Mendoza a weekly column? They seem like soulmates to me.

  13. 13
    Paul says:

    About the author:

    "Julia Gorin is among the most recognized names in conservative comedy."

    That explains why I’ve never heard of her. A regular Jerry Seinfeld, she.

  14. 14
    wasabi gasp says:

    Just a sock away from a Hamas puppet show.

  15. 15
    Zam says:

    I would also like to ask why us turning off our lights makes us more likely to be distracted by fucking clouds?

  16. 16
    The Moar You Know says:

    One Billion Turn Out Lights to Highlight Threat from Climate Change. When Lights Return, One Million Infidels Found Killed by Terrorists

    Do the math. 1 out of 1,000. I’ll take those odds.

    As usual, the pants-peeing conservatards can’t even frame a threat properly.

    I probably stand a better chance of getting killed by driving I-5 every day. I’m tired of these terrified children.

    This is why we can’t have nice things, folks.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    ImJohnGalt says:

    Off-topic: Is it really so impossible for WP to recognize that I post from two IP’s, my work and my home, and to quit automatically putting my home posts into moderation?

    In with "SATSQ: Yes" before anyone else.

  19. 19
    used to be disgusted says:

    Off topic, but over at TPM they’re starting to make a pretty good case that AIGFP was heavily into the tax-evasion business. The IRS is suing them — for one thing — about an offshore tax shelter they constructed for HP. They seem to have spent years bilking the government out of tax dollars, so that they could eventually be bailed out by *our* tax dollars. At that point in the story my mind goes numb and the room starts to spin, so I may not have understood the rest of it.

    I just wanted to spread some cheer and brighten everyone’s day.

  20. 20
    stickler says:

    Used to be:

    _I just wanted to spread some cheer and brighten everyone’s day._

    You have failed.

    Why in the name of Judas Priest are we seeing the CEO of General Fucking Motors get shitcanned, while the dilweeds who have us on the hook for a hundred times as much as GM (Fucking General Fucking Largest Car Company On Earth Motors!!!!?!!!) slither around this vale of tears, without sackcloth, without ashes, without handcuffs.

    How is this possible?

  21. 21
    Mike S says:

    Her bio says it all.

    Julia Gorin
    Julia Gorin is among the most recognized names in conservative comedy.

    There are no funny conservatives.

  22. 22
    Calouste says:

    @Paul:

    "Julia Gorin is among the most recognized names in conservative comedy."

    I guess that’s like saying you are among the most recognized names in Angolan ice hockey. Or among the most recognized names in Republican intellectualism.

  23. 23
    TenguPhule says:

    How is this possible?

    For Starters, most of the people directly responsible already quit and floated away on golden parachutes.

    The main thrust of the bailouts should be to retroactively revoke all mangement pensions, heathcare and other retirement benefits. Not only don’t they not get them, they need to pay us for what they already spent.

    After all, sauce for the Unions, sauce for the executives.

  24. 24
    handy says:

    @Mike S:

    Oh…..ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa.

    /feigned laughter

    Sorry, I could only keep it up so long. Conservatard "comedian" is not funny. At least not in the way she is intending.

  25. 25
    Marco says:

    "I guess if the Sudan had handed me bin Laden on a silver platter and I declined,…"

    Oh Julia and her made up stories.

    She’s the Lisa Lampanell of the GOP, sans all the funny.

  26. 26
    guest omen says:

    @stickler:

    How is this possible?

    we are lulling them into a false sense of complacency before jumping in for the kill?

  27. 27
    guest omen says:

    @TenguPhule:

    For Starters, most of the people directly responsible already quit and floated away on golden parachutes.

    can’t remember who but heard somebody on rachel attest that contrary to the propaganda, the players who championed the use of derivatives still work at aig.

    i’ll look for the transcript later on.

    i suspect the rumor about they having all left was meant to lower the populist rage against the company.

  28. 28
    Comrade General Stuck says:

    OT

    For your late night entertainment.

    Limbaugh unplugged and unglued

  29. 29
    Lesley says:

    The Republicans celebrate earth hour 24/7. Their light bulbs are never turned on.

  30. 30
    guest omen says:

    well, that was disgusting. this gorin woman planted scenes from 9/11 on her page in an attempt to inject moral authority to her argument. some people have no shame about being exploitive.

  31. 31
    jcricket says:

    But you know, Al Gore is fat, looks bad with a beard and has a giant house. So global warming’s a sham.

    There’s a lot of serious fucking shit going on right now, and conservatives have Joe the Plumber, Sarah "casual lie" Palin, Red State’s Meat Beat Manifesto (or whatever it’s called) and Going Galt.

    I’d be laughing if I wasn’t so mad that b/c of the continued idiocy of the GOP that we’re not going to be addressing the problems quickly enough to avoid some serious damage to the economy, the environment, people’s lives, etc.

    This is not a fucking game, and people who think 24 is the long lost writing of Jesus (the church of the really really latter day saints) need to be shut out of the political process.

  32. 32
    ImJohnGalt says:

    To all who may not know of him, the world is a little less bright today, for John Hope Franklin has died.

    My wife was fortunate enough to have been at a few lectures of his, and she still gets a very far-away look in her eyes when she speaks of it.

  33. 33
    alistair says:

    I thought that conservatives were tough manly men. Clear-eyed realists. Masters of their domains. What is it about terrorists and terrorism that turns them into such bedwetters? Certainly, living under the constant threat of terrorism is a frightening prospect. I have some direct experience, as I was in Belfast many times during the Troubles. However, this isn’t Belfast. Hell, Belfast isn’t Belfast anymore. If there were significant numbers of jihadis in the US ready to pounce, then wouldn’t they be causing, what’s the word…oh yeah, terror? What, exactly, are they waiting for?

    There’s certainly no lack of soft targets in this country. What would it do to the TSA security theatre if someone waded into the massive lines before the metal detectors with an automatic rifle? Or any place that people gather publicly, for that matter. The very fact that these sorts of attacks are not happening is the strongest sign that they are not being attempted. To believe otherwise would be to believe that our intelligence services have stopped each and every attempt since 9/11. That strains credulity, given the Bush administration’s utter failure in nearly every endeavor they undertook.

    As Benjamin Franklin famously said, "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." There’s not a lot that I could add to that.

  34. 34
    MikeJ says:

    Hang on, I thought that bighollywood site hated infidels. Isn’t that all they ever bitch about, people laughing at their nonsense?

    If Breitbart hates infidels, why does he care if we get killed, especially since he thinks it will be a bighollywood reading Tim Mcviegh-ish person that does it?

  35. 35
    burnspbesq says:

    Andrew is right: there is nothing that you can say about this. Except to wish Annie and her new man all the happiness in the world.

    http://andrewsullivan.theatlan.....sible.html

  36. 36
    Comrade Baron Elmo says:

    When I clicked on the link (damn me for the masochist I am) and saw the byline "Julia Gorin" attached to the article, it all made sense to me.

    You see, this is an example of wingnut "comedy," and as such, is meant to be laughed at. "Ah ha ha ha ha! Liberals getting their throats slashed! Now that’s a knee-slapper!" A pity she couldn’t have jazzed it up a bit with a more graphic description of spurting blood and the tearing of soft cartilage. Makes me question her commitment to the conservative cause…

    Seriously, though, I have witnessed Gorin’s attempt at "humor," and a wretched spectacle it is indeed. She had this low-rent TV skit program called "The America Show," which I had the great good fortune to get linked to via YouTube. Twas her and two equally wingnutty women, making with sketches.

    Let’s just say that it made Fox’s abortion "The Half-Hour News Hour" look like Monty Python times George Carlin. You will want to gouge out your eyes with a sharpened teaspoon, then eat them.

    I regret to say that not a trace of Gorin’s show remains online — on YouTube or anywhere — for me to share with you with a link. But rest assured, gentle reader, that it stands as further proof, especially when coupled with Dennis Miller, Larry the Cable Guy and An American Carol, that right-wingers are genetically incapable of bringing teh funny.

  37. 37
    TenguPhule says:

    can’t remember who but heard somebody on rachel attest that contrary to the propaganda, the players who championed the use of derivatives still work at aig.

    But all the fucking CEOs and management that greenlighted the shit have ran away already.

    Short of siccing CIA kill squads on them, ain’t many other options left.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Mike S says:

    @Comrade Baron Elmo:

    The show is here.

    It’s even worse than you describe. The laugh trak makes them look even dumber, if that’s possible.

  40. 40
    El Cid says:

    How come all the terrorists can see in the dark?

    And do they have to go door to door to kill a million people? ‘Cause, that would seem to take kind of a long time, and would make a lot of noise.

  41. 41
    Ash Can says:

    This is what passes for humor at Big Hollywood? OK. From now on, anytime I do something dumb in public and embarrass myself to tears, I’ll remind myself that there are people who do stuff like this in public and aren’t even embarrassed about it, and I’ll feel much better.

  42. 42
    Balconespolitics says:

    And they’ll have fun fun fun till Obama takes their GWOT away …

  43. 43
    JL says:

    After a long day yesterday, I turned on the computer and immediately went to Balloon Juice. John’s post on Lou Dobbs was interesting and so I clicked on the comments for additional insight, only to discover that we had a guest poster. Understatement of the morning, Armando didn’t really add additional insight.

  44. 44
    chopper says:

    Am I silly not to have noticed this link between the threat of global terrorism and the threat of global climate change?

    i think pirates fit into that equation somehow.

  45. 45

    Terror. Terra. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

  46. 46
    Svensker says:

    Ever notice how as the threat of global terrorism reaches a crescendo, so apparently does the threat of global climate change?

    These days, all I ever say is WTF? But, WTF? ! ?

  47. 47
    Ash Can says:

    @JL: He was quite the high school freshman, wasn’t he, with his "I have to go now — really, I have to go now — OK, this time I mean it, guys, I’m really going" and so on. (And to be honest, I didn’t really think it was DougJ; there’s a lot more substance to his spoofing than that. I just wanted to, well, toss an ash can into the junk pile.)

  48. 48
    Matthew Hooper says:

    Remind me to send this woman a nightlight, just so’s she’ll feel safe. They make ’em solar powered, don’t cha know.

  49. 49
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    It is now clear to me that using the word "conservative" as a modifier results in an instant oxymoron:
    conservative humor
    conservative thinking
    conservative policy
    conservative pundit
    conservative blogger

  50. 50
    pharniel says:

    could rush sneak in any more bircher code words?

    and note how the rant get’s to the point, which is that "Obama thinks" that the bankers, ceos and aig guys took wealth from ‘someone’ and gave it to themselves.

    there’s your kernel of truth in the lies, he’s attempting to frame it so that it sounds wrong.
    trying to set it up, i just dont’ think it’ll work when the Big O goes on the tele and says ‘they transferred welath, just like rush says, but he forgot to mention that who they took it from was YOU"

    eh, pre-cofee incoherent ramblings.

  51. 51
    Walker says:

    This is ridiculous. Everyone knows that the US military are better at night combat than anyone else.

  52. 52
    JMI says:

    Hmm…I see the same thing has happened to liberalism as happened to feminism a couple decades ago: it has choked out any sense of humor.

    It has also allowed for blatant hypocrisy: shame on you for making gross generalizations about my ideological brothers and sisters. Your intolerant prejudices make me feel persecuted, marginalized and…what’s the word?…disenfranchised.

    Can we really let this hate speech continue in a land whose president likes to put down Special Olympians?

  53. 53
    Rudi says:

    Maddoff and Cassano didn’t need the cover of darkness to slit our throats, just the cheering from neo-liberals and the free market crowd as a distraction.

  54. 54
    RememberNovember says:

    @Warren Terra: creepiest Dr Who ep ever.

  55. 55
    lawnorder says:

    So conservatives are afraid of the dark now ?

    What a bunch of WATB!

  56. 56
    les says:

    Wow–a conservatard, however wrongly motivated, approaches reality. And, of course, gets it backwards. As all good Pastafarians know, global warming is caused by the world wide decline in the number of pirates. I could show you a graph.

  57. 57
    agum says:

    i think pirates fit into that equation somehow.

    Came for this, leaving satisfied. Thanks, chopper!

  58. 58
    les says:

    My graph. Let me show you it.

  59. 59
    Tony J says:

    creepiest Dr Who ep ever

    Nah. That would be ‘Blink’.

    You’ll never feel 100% comfortable around an angelic statue again.

  60. 60
    Cpl. Cam says:

    as he moves on to the next vigilant infidel.

    Doesn’t this imply the first infidel was vigilant? How can it be so easy to slit vigilant people’s throats?

  61. 61
    Cpl. Cam says:

    Oh, sarcasm, d’uh. I feel stupid but at the same time relieved that it still isn’t funny now that I "get" it.

  62. 62
    Cpl. Cam says:

    @JMI:

    Sorry bro, it’s just not funny and I’ll tell you why. It presupposes that no one could possibly be capable of acting to prevent further global warming and staying vigilant against terrorism at the same time when in reality few things could be less mutually exclusive. It just doesn’t make sense.

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