A Quick Explanation for the GOP Seppuku Today

For some reason or another, the Republican leadership held a press conference, held up a blue binder that allegedly held a budget, but didn’t really, and the results were pretty disastrous. Via the Great Orange Satan, here is the immediate reaction:

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they rushed out to do that. They clearly don’t have a budget ready, and also via the Great Orange Satan and Dave Weigel, here is part of their “blueprint”:

That must have taken a lot of work to get together. They had to have spent at least… minutes. So why did they rush out in front of cameras to make fools of themselves? For that, we must look to Josh Marshall’s Bitch Slap Theory from the 2004 election:

One way — perhaps the best way — to demonstrate someone’s lack of toughness or strength is to attack them and show they are either unwilling or unable to defend themselves — thus the rough slang I used above. And that I think is a big part of what is happening here. Someone who can’t or won’t defend themselves certainly isn’t someone you can depend upon to defend you.

Demonstrating Kerry’s unwillingness to defend himself (if Bush can do that) is a far more tangible sign of what he’s made of than wartime experiences of thirty years ago.

Hitting someone and not having them hit back hurts the morale of that person’s supporters, buoys the confidence of your own backers (particularly if many tend toward an authoritarian mindset) and tends to make the person who’s receiving the hits into an object of contempt (even if also possibly also one of sympathy) in the eyes of the uncommitted.

Pretty clearly, this debacle today was a result of this line from President Obama the other night at the fundraiser:

And because we’ve inherited an economic mess and a fiscal mess — (laughter) — this budget makes the tough choices necessary to cut the deficit by the end of my first term in half — even under the most pessimistic estimates. We’ve already proposed $2 trillion in deficit reduction over the next decade. We’ll continue making these tough choices in the months and years ahead as our economy recovers.

And to a bunch of the critics out there, I’ve already said, show me your budget. (Laughter.) Show me what you want to do. (Applause.) And I’m happy to have that debate — because I believe in the vision of the Democratic Party. (Applause.) I believe in a vision that helps people help themselves. And I believe that in the end, the best way to bring down our deficit is not with a budget that continues the very same policies that led to the false prosperity and massive debts that we’ve seen. It’s a budget that leads to broad economic growth, moves us from an era of borrow and spend to save and invest.

So when GOP operatives are running around telling the Politico “We need to hold something up and say, ‘Here are our charts. Here are our graphs. It’s real,” the reason they ‘need’ to just throw out something, anything, is because they know they got bitch-slapped. And rather than just lay low and wait a week and come out with an actual budget, they couldn’t, because they are operating at a level of emotional maturity equal to a 12 year old.

And that is why they went out and made fools of themselves today, even when they don’t even agree internally on the budget they claim to be putting together.

*** Update ***

The kids at Fark are having fun with the Republican “budget”:

246 replies
  1. 1
    DougJ says:

    The budget does ask for sacrifice, though.

    And they were able to roll it out without teleprompters.

    And no one will ever accuse them of being professorial.

    So that makes it a win-win-win, IMHO.

  2. 2
    dmsilev says:

    It’s almost literally the Underpants Gnome Budget:
    1. Steal Underpants
    2. Cut Taxes
    3. ????
    4. Profit!

    Two questions: 1) At what point do these jokers become absurd enough that even the fools in the media stop taking them seriously? 2) Between these twits and Bush, how did they manage to avoid accidentally sending the Earth into a collision course with the Sun over the last 8 years?

    -dms

  3. 3
    Fencedude says:

    Maybe its me, but that flowchart can be expressed this way as well:

    1) Reform Medicare and Medicade
    2) Universal Access to Healthcare
    3) ???????????
    4) Profit!

    (also, WTF is that President ZOBAMA PJM add about?)

  4. 4
    BDeevDad says:

    Loved Gibbs’ response:

    It took me several minutes to read it

  5. 5
    Fencedude says:

    Ok, I see its not just me.

  6. 6
    robertdsc says:

    The President is scaring me with his ability to force his opposition into self-destruction.

    That’s change I can believe in.

  7. 7
    Joshua Norton says:

    1. Hold up piece of blue paper.
    2. Tax cuts.
    3. ???????
    4. Balanced Budget!

    Lets vote.

  8. 8
    calling all toasters says:

    Let’s cut it down to one step:

    1) D’oh!

  9. 9
    Leelee for Obama says:

    @dmsilev:

    how did they manage to avoid accidentally sending the Earth into a collision course with the Sun over the last 8 years?

    Where is your evidence that they haven’t done that?

    @robertdsc:

    The President is scaring me with his ability to force his opposition into self-destruction

    Because he is the Quizatz Saderach!

  10. 10
    DougJ says:

    1. Talk to Politico.
    3. ???????
    4. Political profit.

  11. 11
    MattF says:

    Better to be stupid than girlie.

  12. 12
    frogspawn says:

    Is it me, or did Böner just pull a boner?

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Joshua Norton says:

    They should have that 13 year old kool-aid kid present the budget. It would have had more credibility – and gravitas.

    (That kid is so never going to get laid.)

  15. 15
    dmsilev says:

    @robertdsc:

    The President is scaring me with his ability to force his opposition into self-destruction.

    It’s his greatest political gift. Goes back at least as far as 2004, where his first opponent in the Senate race had to withdraw because of a bizarre sex scandal (bizarre even by GOP standards; it involved pressuring his TV-star ex-wife to have public sex at a Parisian club), and he somehow Jedi-mind-tricked the state GOP into importing Alan Keyes as a replacement.

    I’m becoming convinced that Obama is Lord Vetinari from Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books. We’ll know for sure if he starts sending mimes and other street artists to the scorpion pits that Dick Cheney had installed under the White House.

    -dms

  16. 16
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    The only detail offered by the Republicans was tax cuts. The top marginal tax rate for people making over $100,000 a year would be reduced to 25%. Everyone else would pay 10%.
    Compared to the Republicans’ budget plan the Wookie Defense is a model of reason.

  17. 17
  18. 18
    Laura W says:

    @dmsilev:

    1) At what point do these jokers become absurd enough that even the fools in the media stop taking them seriously?

    If you’re Contessa Brewer on MSNBC, that would be today.
    She was The Bomb.

  19. 19
    Zifnab says:

    @Joshua Norton:

    (That kid is so never going to get laid.)

    Are you kidding? Mark Foley probably has that kid’s poster plastered all over his room.

  20. 20
    aimai says:

    I think the line you are looking for is "the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."

    aimai

  21. 21
    DougJ says:

    bizarre even by GOP standards; it involved pressuring his TV-star ex-wife to have public sex at a Parisian club

    Sorry, but this is not bizarre by GOP standards: (a) it involved his own wife, (b) he wasn’t wearing diapers when did it, and (c) it didn’t take place in an airport men’s room.

  22. 22
    HyperIon says:

    one problem with the chart: it’s not a chart.
    it’s a figure or a picture. but it is not a chart.

    that is all.

  23. 23
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    This reminds me of a cartoon over at Politijab, trying to explain the birther law suits, it was a professor type writing complex mathematical formulae on a blackboard, there are three steps a) xyxyxyxyxyxyx b) a miracle happens c) xyxyxyxyxyxy his superior says "you might want to work on the middle bit"

  24. 24
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @DougJ:
    You forgot "She forgave him."

  25. 25
    guest omen says:

    from frontline:

    judd gregg: But there is no question we didn’t do a good job on restraining the growth of government, and we spent a lot of money we didn’t have. Things like the [Medicare] Part D drug program were truly a big mistake from the standpoint of fiscal policies. The Part D drug program alone added an $8 trillion unfunded liability to the federal books. If we were going to put that program on the books, we should have paid for it.

    republicans’ idea of medicare reform will end up costing us more than the iraq war.

  26. 26
    cyntax says:

    Not only am I making popcorn, but I’m putting truffle oil on it.

    Pure comedy gold.

  27. 27
    dmsilev says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt:

    This reminds me of a cartoon over at Politijab, trying to explain the birther law suits, it was a professor type writing complex mathematical formulae on a blackboard, there are three steps a) xyxyxyxyxyxyx b) a miracle happens c) xyxyxyxyxyxy his superior says "you might want to work on the middle bit"

    That’s a classic by cartoonist Sidney Harris:

    http://magicanimation.com/misc.....cleWeb.jpg

    -dms

  28. 28
    AhabTRuler says:

    @DougJ: Yeah, but actually trying to get on with the kinky shit with Seven-of-Nine has a publicity factor of, like, x eleventy-billion.

    Now, for a lot of guys’ imaginations, the only down-side was that she said "no," and then divorced the prick (not really fantasy material, unless you are a divorce lawyer).

  29. 29
    r€nato says:

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    that’s funny, I’m pretty sure Jeri Ryan was divorcing him, that’s where all the juicy stuff came from.

  30. 30
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @guest omen:
    But, but, but, there was no point in using the negotiating clout of the government to get better prices for medications.

  31. 31
    Litlebritdifrnt says:

    @dmsilev:

    That is exactly it thank you!

  32. 32
    Zifnab says:

    So when GOP operatives are running around telling the Politico “We need to hold something up and say, ‘Here are our charts. Here are our graphs. It’s real,” the reason they ‘need’ to just throw out something, anything, is because they know they got bitch-slapped. And rather than just lay low and wait a week and come out with an actual budget, they couldn’t, because they are operating at a level of emotional maturity equal to a 12 year old.

    This always continues to floor me. The GOP of ten years ago would have had a slick, savvy, aggressive campaign with crazy ass graphics and a dozen "experts" to back it up all getting built up in the background while their proxies in the media completely took the Democrats apart.

    What the hell happened? It’s like Karl Rove got replaced with a band of retarded sea monkeys. This is some fucking tragic opposition.

  33. 33
    r€nato says:

    republicans’ idea of medicare reform will end up costing us more than the iraq war.

    the next time some slob hits me with that ‘tax-and-spend liberal’ crap, he’s gonna get, ‘better that than a borrow-and-piss-it-away conservative’ right in the chops.

  34. 34
    nikita says:

    @dmsilev: I LOVE Terry Pratchett and I was just thinking the same thing about Obama being like Lord Vetinari when I read this post. I got addicted to the discworld when I lived in England and it’s only the past 5-7 years or so that I started seeing Pratchett’s books in local libraries. It’s always great to discover another fan.

    The Turtle Moves

  35. 35
    [delurk]...[/delurk] says:

    The idea that a budget should have, you know, thought and facts and figures in it is so 20th Century! Don’t you know that all the Repukes have to do is hold up a folder, and you’re supposed to fall down on your knees and worship it? "A true miracle of Solomonic Wisdom, this budget!"

    Even though you can see with your own eyes that there’s nothing in it. Even though everyone watched the press conference and saw President Obama handle the Q & A with their own eyes. "He can’t speak without a TelePrompTer."

    This is the new politics for the 21st Century: "How many fingers am I holding up, Winston?"

  36. 36
    Zifnab says:

    @r€nato: There are no words to describe the man who fucks up a relationship with Jerri Ryan. A gay man would hit that and love it. I think that was the moment I really did lose all faith in the GOP.

  37. 37
    Mouse Tolliver says:

    @dmsilev:

    Goes back at least as far as 2004, where his first opponent in the Senate race had to withdraw because of a bizarre sex scandal (bizarre even by GOP standards; it involved pressuring his TV-star ex-wife to have public sex at a Parisian club), and he somehow Jedi-mind-tricked the state GOP into importing Alan Keyes as a replacement.

    It’s worth pointing out, to highlight the absurdity of it all, that that TV star ex-wife played the Borg Seven of Nine on Star Trek.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k2wJZFDkYI

  38. 38
    Jay B. says:

    Can’t you just see the solutions in the balls? It’s all connected! And communicated poorly!

  39. 39
    Fencedude says:

    @AhabTRuler:

    He was married to Jeri Fucking Ryan! Jesus, what the hell did he need a Parisian sex club for!?

  40. 40
    NonyNony says:

    And that is why they went out and made fools of themselves today, even when they don’t even agree internally on the budget they claim to be putting together.

    This is so many layers of awesome covered in awesome sauce I can’t even begin to comprehend it.

    For the last, oh, 15 years or so the GOP has seemed to me to be nearly unstoppable. It seemed like no matter how blatantly idiotic, corrupt or power-grabby they were, no one would call them on it. They’d do something ridiculous like hold up George W Bush as a presidential candidate or make plans to start two wars on the credit card and people would cheer them on. Then they got almost everything they ever wanted. It was maddening. And then they imploded.

    Now, a scant two years since the start of that implosion, they’ve gone from an unstoppable juggernaut to a giant clown car. They can be manipulated into doing stupid shit just by doing the political equivalent of saying "Your Mom". And every time one of them tries to do something not stupid (like, say, distance the party from Limbaugh), the rest of them band together to pull that one back into the pit of stupid. Their antics would be funny if they weren’t the minority party in a two-party system of government.

    No, I take it back. Their antics are still funny anyway. But in a "black humor" kind of way.

  41. 41
    iluvsummr says:

    Well, you can no longer call them the party of no. They’ve established through the only actual numbers in their "budget" that they’re the party of yes … to insane, irresponsible tax cuts.

    In other news, a UK professor organizing G20 protests who joked(?) that bankers should be strung up from lampposts has been suspended by his university.

  42. 42
    r€nato says:

    What the hell happened?

    someone – perhaps here, perhaps at TPM, I forget now – called it at least a couple years ago if not further back.

    The GOP sold its future to Karl Rove in return for Bush’s two terms.

    Now Bush is gone and the party is left to deal with the blowback of his disastrous administration (like the rest of us, actually). Worse yet, they don’t have anybody to take his place because it was all about Bush for so long. It’s just a bunch of Republican freelancers out there and nobody’s really in charge of the mess, at least nobody worthy of the job.

    Of course Republicans hope Obama fails. It’s their only hope for electoral success. If Obama succeeds in turning around the economy (almost a no-brainer, it’s hard to imagine that things won’t turn around by 2012 and hopefully by 2010), the GOP is done for at least the next 10 years and probably longer.

  43. 43
    dmsilev says:

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    You forgot "She forgave him."

    If by "forgave" you mean "Used as a reason why she should get custody of the kids in the ensuing messy divorce case", yes she forgave him.

    -dms

  44. 44
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @Fencedude:
    If somehow Scarlett Johansson came to be married to a Republican, the dude would still jerk off in the shower because that’s the way they roll.

  45. 45
    demkat620 says:

    Maybe it’s too soon to say definitively, but how the fuck did we survive the last eight years of this shit?
    They are even stupider than I thought.
    The self tanner has destroyed Boner’s brain.

  46. 46
    c u n d gulag says:

    The Republicans are now like a very bad Monty Python sketch
    "WEEEEEEEEEEEE are nooooooo looonger the knights that say,’"Nope!’
    We are now the knights who say ‘Foo, foo, foo on you!’"

    Jesus, I had better excuses back in HS back in the early ’70’s when I didn’t do my homework ’cause I didn’t have a clue what it was about…

    Sad, our opposition parties… The Democrat’s in opposition don’t oppose, and the Republican’s in opposition don’t have a clue!

  47. 47
    kay says:

    Who knew it was so easy? All Democrats had to do was stop cowering and issue challenges, and Republicans would behave like trained seals.

    Let’s give them another task. Obama will require opposition health care plan completed in ONE HOUR, starting…now.

  48. 48
    r€nato says:

    I don’t see what’s so hard to fathom about this GOP ‘budget’.

    It’s exactly like the belief of their base in creationism. "Don’t bother me with the details about fossils and radiometric dating! The Bible says it, I believe it, and that settles it!"

    Likewise, you don’t need elitist details about their budget, you silly liberal! The GOP will wave their magic tax cut wand and all will be better. And if it’s not, it’s because you’re a lazy slob who deserves what you get. Or, clap harder!

  49. 49
    Tsulagi says:

    because they are operating at a level of emotional maturity equal to a 12 year old.

    Speaking of which, of course there’s a post at RedState beaming about the forceful response from Pub leadership in meeting President Obama’s budget challenge. The writer of the post is suitably shock and awed.

    Yep, even though he includes a link to all 19 pages of the “budget” Republican leadership threw down as their gauntlet. Some of the 19 pages of nut fluff are title pages, but you know, wanted to add some thickness to lend credibility. Curious as to whether this thing was created as part of a home school assignment by some of their kids.

    But to be fair, after pages outlining the healthcare crisis in America and claiming the Dem budget will only make it worse, they did offer a solution that could solve it all: Tax cuts! No one could ever have predicted.

  50. 50
    AhabTRuler says:

    He was married to Jeri Fucking Ryan! Jesus, what the hell did he need a Parisian sex club for!?

    I guess that you have never been married.

  51. 51
    demkat620 says:

    @r€nato: The bible has more numbers than this budget.

    More begats too.

  52. 52
    Ricky Bobby says:

    Greatest GOP press conference EVAR.

    The great minds have spoken, Democrats beware.

    Truly a /popcorn moment, I am loving this!

  53. 53
    Michael says:

    Is it just me, or is every GOP "leader" seeming more like Blackadder from the first series? All the magnificent plans coming to naught…..

  54. 54
    AhabTRuler says:

    Hey, Ringo! Where’s my rim-shot?

  55. 55
    kay says:

    “In his egocentric rush to get on camera, Mike Pence threw the rest of the Conference under the bus, specifically Paul Ryan, whose staff has been working night and day for weeks to develop a substantive budget plan,"

    "I hope his camera time was gratifying enough to justify erasing the weeks of hard work by dozens of Republicans to put forth serious ideas,"

    Well.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    geg6 says:

    I just have to pop in here to say I bow to the awesomeness of this thread. Between the actual antics of Boner and his "budget" and the comments here, I think I’ve pulled an abdominal muscle. Carry on.

  58. 58
    AnotherBruce says:

    The President is scaring me with his ability to force his opposition into self-destruction.

    That’s change I can believe in.

    I’m not totally disagreeing with you, Obama picks his opponents well. But…..didn’t the Republicans just spend the last 8 years running the country into the ground. I mean everything they touched turned to shit. So it makes a certain amount of sense that they are self destructing. In other words, they touched themselves…..

  59. 59
    OC says:

    Good grief Boehner needs to lay off the bronzer. He matches the wood paneling in the backgroup.

  60. 60
    [delurk]...[/delurk] says:

    My favorite Jeri Ryan moment on Two and a Half Men:

    Alan: "You used to date her?! Why would you stop?"

    Charlie: "Alan, for every beautiful woman, there’s a guy who’s tired of pretending to listen to her in exchange for sex."

    Alan: "Well, put me down as NOT that guy! Why, if I had a woman like that, I’d cherish her! I’d worship her! I’d start a small country so I could put her face on a stamp and lick the back of her head!"

  61. 61

    Sorry if this was said earlier, but here’s my immediate reaction:
    BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA. BWAH-HA-HA-*choke*-HA-HA.

  62. 62
    JL says:

    @OC: I mean this in the most political correct way that I can.. but Boeher is darker than Obama. Maybe it’s a new repub thing.

  63. 63
    hells littlest angel says:

    Is that a Venn diagram?

  64. 64
    wingnuts to iraq says:

    the fark thread on this has lots of remakes of the GOP’s pretty circles.

    linky

    Go for the lolz.

  65. 65
    NickM says:

    Wow. I can’t imagine anybody likes the Republican leadership. They couldn’t sell snake oil to snakes.

  66. 66
    Ash Can says:

    So, to recap:

    — House Republicans put out truckloads of hype about the detailed and extensive budget counterproposal they’re going to unveil today.

    — Media outlets get all excited, divert resources away from the president’s online townhall to cover this major announcement.

    — Once the cameras are on them, House Republicans proceed to do nothing but pick their noses and flick boogers at assembled journalists.

    — Media outlets are pissed at being played for idiots by the House Republicans.

    — House Republicans erupt in food fight, trying to stick each other with the blame.

    — We all OD on popcorn. ::burp:: ‘Scuse me.

    Yes, all in all a very entertaining day.

  67. 67
    Zifnab says:

    @[delurk]…[/delurk]: I love that show.

  68. 68
    JL says:

    I spent a few minutes going over the repub budget and they do use pretty circles, plus windmills. They are going to give us universal health coverage while at the same cutting government finance for health care. Of course the idea that all our taxes are cut by double digits is appealing. Gee, I wish my household budget was that easy.

  69. 69
    CPT Oregon Guy, JA says:

    Best line from the Fark thread:

    They have a crayon drawing of a bald eagle high-fiving Jesus

    FTW. Fo’evah.

  70. 70
    JL says:

    @kay: OT I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated your comments on the previous post and thanks for the work that you do.

  71. 71
    anonevent says:

    From Todd Beeton at mydd:

    But never again let it be said that Republicans don’t know how to bind 18 pages together into a presentable packet.

  72. 72
    Comrade Jake says:

    This post is pretty much what the "Clown Shoes" tag was made for.

  73. 73
    Comrade Jake says:

    More from Gibbs, courtesy of Sully:

    "There’s one more picture of a windmill than there are charts of numbers. And there’s exactly one picture of a windmill," – Robert Gibbs

  74. 74
    mr. whipple says:

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    If somehow Scarlett Johansson came to be married to a Republican, the dude would still get jerked off in airport restrooms.

    Fixed your typo.

  75. 75
    Svensker says:

    @Michael:

    Lots of Baldrick, not so much of Blackadder.

  76. 76
    JL says:

    @Comrade Jake: Well Gibbs was right. There are some nice circles though. The only reason that I read it was because, I thought that every one was exaggerating but…. not really. There will several pages that had ‘one paragraph’ about bad dems and then nothing. To say that their packet was 19 pages is generous at best.

  77. 77

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  78. 78
    Tsulagi says:

    "There’s one more picture of a windmill than there are charts of numbers. And there’s exactly one picture of a windmill," – Robert Gibbs

    Hey, there are 19 numbers in that Road to Recovery “budget.” Page 1, page 2, page 3…

  79. 79
    Calouste says:

    @Svensker:

    Baldrick is actually the smart one in the first series. Roles are reversed in the later series.

    Although comparing them to Baldrick is flattering. They’re more like Percy.

  80. 80
    JayDenver says:

    My Pet Budget

  81. 81

    Listen, when I was a young man my best friend’s older brother told me essentially, "No matter how fine she is, there’s somebody, somewhere who’s tired of her shit."
    Now, I’ve never been married to Cindy Crawford, Jeri Ryan, or the absolute smokehouse that is on BSG – but I’m pretty FSM-damned sure I am NOT getting tired of their shit. Evah.
    This speaks to exactly how F’ed up Mr. Ryan was/is.

  82. 82
    NonWonderDog says:

    Oh, man, this is rich:

    The proposed national energy tax would raise the cost of energy by up to $3,128 per household annually

    And that’s repeated over and over in the "budget," as if it’s a really, really good point that they just can’t stress enough.

    Because, of course, energy policy should be set based on how much it costs the single largest energy consumer in the nation. It costs way too much to power 17 McMansions these days.

  83. 83

    I love the fact these stupid fuckers can’t even get their little idea bubbles to agree:

    The Republican Road to Recovery:
    Reforms Medicare & Medicaid
    Universal Access to Affordable Coverage
    Limits Federal Spending

    I guess they were too carried away by the brilliance of their plan to slip a "Provides" in before "Universal".

    @dmsilev: If Obama is Havelock Vetinari, the GOP is Reacher Gilt.

  84. 84
    NonWonderDog says:

    Americans realize that the future of energy is in alternative and renewable sources. In order to promote the development of renewable and alternative energy, Republicans support promoting the leasing of federal lands which contain alternative energy such as oil shale.

    Oh, I see now. Brick Oven Bill wrote the Republican proposal. That makes more sense.

  85. 85
    tb says:

    …and he somehow Jedi-mind-tricked the state GOP into importing Alan Keyes as a replacement.

    Then there’s Michael Steele, and that wingnut Urkel kid. You can almost hear their collective unconscious screaming: "Gah! Black guy, we need a black guy! I don’t give a shit what his name is, just get him in front of a camera LIKE NOW! Somebody young, somebody young- what’s he, 14? Oh my God, that’s PERFECT! Try to find somebody younger than that, Democrat assholes. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUU!!!!"

    And on and on, every single news cycle.

  86. 86
    Svensker says:

    @Calouste:

    Percy, yes!

    Although they LOOK more like Baldrick.

  87. 87
    ksmiami says:

    I really do think that all the smart people have left the GOP yurt

  88. 88
    iluvsummr says:

    @kay: I like the fact that the current "plan" for health care in the GOP "budget" is basically a rant against govt-controlled healthcare with no acknowledgment of the fact that there are over 40 million uninsured Americans. I loved the special touch of showcasing British citizens’ complaints about NHS and access to cutting-edge treatments/drugs with apparently no realization whatsoever that many private American health insurers don’t approve treatments/drugs that are considered novel. Apparently, the best way to improve healthcare is to ignore the fact that health insurers in the US seek to maximize profits by insuring the healthy and offloading the sick onto the government.

  89. 89
    malraux says:

    Good Lord, how low was the production quality on that? All the important images had huge levels of pixelation and noise.

    I can’t stand to read past page 9, but their entire solution to providing universal access to health care is allow people to buy insurance across state lines. The whole thing is just rants on Democrat budget (notice how it can’t be the Democratic budget) with random stuff from the last campaign.

  90. 90

    God these people are insane. Add this to Michele Bachmann’s mind-numbing lunacy today ( http://www.librarygrape.com/20.....aming.html ) and you have the makings of a major political party inhabited only by certifiable, drooling nutjobs

  91. 91
    Frank says:

    Seeing Republicans call for more tax cuts after watching the most recent episode of Frontline only illustrates how absolutely irresponsible Eric Cantor and Co. are being. For all the crocodile tears about burdening future generations with the tax bills for spending today, they have absolutely no plan about how to fix the problem beyond the usual paeans regarding the elimination of certain "wasteful" government programs and reducing the burden placed on the American people by the evil, evil federal government.

    I wish some politician in one of these parties would come out and tell the truth. For the last several decades, the American people, aided and abetted by their political class, have deluded themselves into spending massive amounts of money to support popular programs, while refusing to tax themselves to pay for those programs. Having had the benefit of low taxes and expensive programs, it’s time to pay up either by ditching the programs or paying the taxes, or more likely, some combination of both. "Tea parties" are not going to solve the problem.

    I’m tired of listening to these people talk about future generations without being willing to make the sacrifices necessary for those generations. But because those sacrifices are the vanguard of socialism, they must be resisted at all costs.

  92. 92

    Lest we forget the crux of the bold new Republican plan: "Republicans propose a simple and fair tax code with a marginal tax rate for income up to $100,000 of 10 percent and 25 percent for any income thereafter." Yep, a TEN PERCENT tax rate reduction for the wealthiest Americans. I’m sure the GOP will submit their budget to a rigorous analysis of how much revenue this would drain out of the government’s coffers

  93. 93
    The Cat Who Would Be Tunch says:

    @NonWonderDog:

    I guess that explains why we haven’t seen BOB lately…

  94. 94
    cyntax says:

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:
    Naw. I think the lack of a verb is a feature. They’re still trying to come to grips with these crazy new ideas like Universal Access to Affordable Coverage that the kidz are down with.

    So although they know they need to mention healthcare, they’ve got no clue what to say about it, thus no verb for it.

  95. 95
    anonevent says:

    When they list Obama’s name in the list of greatest presidents, the asterisk next to his name will state "ranked low due to lack of competition."

  96. 96
    plus C says:

    If anyone’s interested or bored enough, the whole ‘budget’ is available in .pdf form.

  97. 97
    Gus says:

    I’m sure the GOP will submit their budget to a rigorous analysis of how much revenue this would drain out of the government’s coffers

    Laffer curve, man. Lower tax rate=more tax revenue. Lower taxes and Laffer curve is the answer to everything.

  98. 98
    JL says:

    I loved the special touch of showcasing British citizens’ complaints about NHS and access to cutting-edge treatments/drugs with apparently no realization whatsoever that many private American health insurers don’t approve treatments/drugs that are considered novel

    but, but the magic circles said that they wanted universal coverage.

  99. 99
    mey says:

    Death to Wall Street

    I like angry mobs, as long as they’re not aimed at me.

  100. 100
    Comrade Jake says:

    I really can’t believe their energy plan amounts to a regurgitation of "drill baby, drill".

    Also, I’m betting their little chart of deficits under GOP leadership neglects the costs of the wars, right? Piles of stupid.

  101. 101
    dmsilev says:

    Dredged from the depths of that Fark thread:

    In short, this is what Sarah Palin would look like if she were a PDF document

    Win.

    -dms

  102. 102
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    I hardly recognized David Dreier standing behind Boner. He appears to be gracefully aging into a furtive old queen.

  103. 103
    John S. says:

    (also, WTF is that President ZOBAMA PJM add about?)

    Another failed attempt by conservatives to be either hip or funny?

  104. 104
    Fencedude says:

    @John S.:

    I’m sure AlfonZo is just totally the hippest hipster to ever hip.

    ZOMG!

  105. 105
    Batocchio says:

    If only they would commit seppuku. But they would have to possess honor first.

  106. 106

    @dmsilev: wow, ROFL to the extreme. that is some sharp commentary

  107. 107

    @Batocchio: good point. for "seppuku" to be appropriate, one must have honor, then have the realization that one fucked up, then have the courage to disembowel oneself. the repugs have none of those

  108. 108
    GSD says:

    I think the GOP suffers from the Katrina Curse.

    They seriously fucked up the national mojo down there in New Orleans and they are now paying for it.

    They are also getting hectored by the ghost of Terri Schiavo too.

    And a million or so dead Iraqis.

    Nothing else explains how they have gone from ruthlessly successful to haplessly feckless.

    -GSD

  109. 109
    camchuck says:

    My favorite reaction has been Ezra Klein

    Here’s a taste, but read the whole thing:

    The threat going around the Capitol is that some impish Democratic chairman will ask the CBO to try and score the Republican proposal… It’s like someone showed them a flowchart. Once. And only for a few seconds. And refused to explain it.

  110. 110

    This is why I think Matt Yglesias, and a bunch of people here, are wrong that Obama has a year to fix the economy, and, if he doesn’t, the electorate is going to turn on him and elect nothing but Republicans in the mid-terms. Sure, if the GOP were a rational party, that’s what would happen. The current Republicans, though, are so obviously fucking clueless that, unless Obama does something overt that clearly makes things worse, he has until at least 2012 to get things fixed.

    For a while, I thought the obvious comparison for the Republicans was where the Democrats were by 1972. They were exhausted, out of ideas, and had lost touch with what works. They were going to struggle for a few cycles, while they got it sorted out.

    I was wrong. This is the British Labour Party circa 1980. The complete nut jobs have gotten control, and there’s nothing else. The Democrats 35 years ago could see that they had lost their mojo, but couldn’t figure out what to do about it. Tony Benn and Eric Cantor are convinced they still have their mojo, when they clearly don’t. My guess is that Obama is going to have a Thatcher like presence.

    My only question is whether or not the Republicans are going to produce someone completely ineffectual, but also decent and sympathetic, like Neil Kinnock. I’m betting not.

  111. 111
    Comrade Scrutinizer says:

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    @dmsilev: If Obama is Havelock Vetinari, the GOP is Reacher Gilt.

    Not quite. Gilt was smart. The GOP is more like Lord Rust in Jingo.

  112. 112

    @cyntax: Thank you for providing the latest edition of Sad but True Facts about the GOP.

    They really have progressed beyond shooting themselves in the feet. Now they’re tap dancing in a mine field on their stumps.

  113. 113
    GSD says:

    David Dreier looks like he’s morphing into Dean Stockwell’s character in Blue Velvet.

    Ben/David Dreier sings Candy Colored Clown.

    -GSD

  114. 114
    LD50 says:

    Has any one else noticed that this is such an epic clusterfuck that none of our usual GOP trolls has shown up and even *tried* to spin this?

  115. 115
    Fencedude says:

    @LD50:

    Don’t worry, they are just waiting to receive their talking points.

  116. 116
    cyntax says:

    @camchuck:
    That Ezra post is full of win. My fave:

    It’s like someone showed them a flowchart. Once. And only for a few seconds. (My editor Ann Friedman just walked into the room. "It looks like they’re building a budget molecule.")

    Budget Molecule.
    [wipes tears from eyes]

    BTW, watch out for that FARK thread. It’s 14 pages long and I only made it to the 2nd page before my stomach muscles knotted up from laughing so hard.

  117. 117
    Calouste says:

    @Svensker:

    I’d say they look more (and behave more) like the baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells.

  118. 118

    @camchuck: Awesome, I especially loved this bit: "The Republican proposal, as you might expect, doesn’t actually have a health care plan. But it does have this: "Republicans will be on the side of quality versus mediocrity, affordability versus unsustainable debt, and freedom of care versus bureaucrats in control. And we will be on the side of patients, doctors, and the American people." They are also in favor of good things rather than bad things, moving forward rather than going backwards, the hobbits rather than the orcs, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom."

  119. 119
    theturtlemoves says:

    @nikita: Drat! Someone has finally discovered from whence I chose my nom de Internet. Small Gods has absolutely my favorite ending of any book ever.

  120. 120
    cyntax says:

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:
    Minefield–So true.

    This whole thing is an eleven on the absolute scale of epic fail.

  121. 121
    guest omen says:

    speaking of clueless, steve m. pulled this quote out of the gop pamphlet:

    Democrats assume that the free-market system has failed and that a more robust federal government must now rescue the nation. The American people reject that notion and know, as Republicans do, that government has failed and that this financial crisis is the result of decades of misguided government policies that interfered with the free-market.

  122. 122
    dmsilev says:

    It gets better. Amazingly.

    Apparently, they’re going to release the "real GOP budget" on Wednesday. Take a look at the calendar. Wednesday is April Fool’s Day.

    -dms

  123. 123
    PanAmerican says:

    Ian: This looks actually perfect. I mean it’s, uh, the right proportions. It’ll be this color right?

    Artist: Yeah. Yeah.

    Ian: Yeah. That’s…that’s…that’s just terrific. It almost looks like the real thing.

    Artist: Well good.

    Ian: When we get the actual, uh, set, when we get the piece, it’ll…it’ll follow exactly these specifications. I mean even these contours and everything?

    Artist: Um, I’m not understanding it. What do you mean "the actual piece?"

    Ian: Well I mean…I mean when you build the actual piece.

    Artist: But this is what you asked for, isn’t it?

    Ian: What?

    Artist: Well this is the piece.

    Ian: This is the piece?

    Artist: Yes.

    Ian: Are you telling me that this is it? This is scenery? Have you ever been to Stonehenge?

    Artist: No, I haven’t been to Stonehenge.

    Ian: The triptychs are…the triptychs are twenty feet high. You can stand four men up them!

    Artist: Ian, I was…I was…I was supposed to build it eighteen inches high.

    Ian: This is insane. This isn’t a piece of scenery.

    Artist: Look, look. Look, this is what I was asked to build. Eighteen inches. Right here, it specified eighteen inches. I was given this napkin, I mean…

    Ian: Forget this! Fuck the napkin!

  124. 124
    David says:

    How long before Cantor appears with a backwards "B" carved into his face and say that Obama attacked him?

  125. 125
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @dmsilev: If Obama is Havelock Vetinari, the GOP is Reacher Gilt.

    Oh, Vetinari, one of my all time favorite characters.

    I suspect Obama imagines in his head that he’s a cross between Vimes and Captain Carrot, tho… (down to the mysterious foreign parentage and unusual upbringing)

  126. 126
    theturtlemoves says:

    @PanAmerican: I think the real problem is that we had a fucking Stonehenge monument that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf.

  127. 127
    Laertes says:

    Looks like the best they could do is budget-related program activities.

  128. 128
    Laura W says:

    @David: phew. funny.

  129. 129
    passerby says:

    @Leelee for Obama:

    Because he is the Quizatz Saderach!

    It will be difficult to articulate a better explanation.

  130. 130
    The Moar You Know says:

    I read the whole thing. I liked the part about streamlining nuclear reactor approvals, provided they aren’t the ones doing it.

    I really liked their proposal for dealing with the banks, which is word-for-word the same as Geithner’s.

    I’d have to say, having actually read it and being objective, that this is the biggest public fail I’ve seen from any political party, ever. This makes the nomination of Sarah Palin look like good judgment. This makes Dukakis in the tank look like brilliant staging. I’ve written papers two hours before the class they were due in started, stoned out of my mind, and they were better than this. I honestly feel embarassed for them.

  131. 131
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @PanAmerican:

    Bloody Stupid Johnson?

    G8d, I’ve got this on the brain now. (I do know the reference, fwiw)

  132. 132

    @passerby: point of pedantic privilege: it’s Quizatz Haderach :)

  133. 133
    Gus says:

    Because he is the Quizatz Saderach!…
    If Obama is Havelock Vetinari, the GOP is Reacher Gilt.

    WTF are you people talking about?

  134. 134
    theturtlemoves says:

    @Comrade Darkness: Here’s a hint. It goes to eleven… Which is one more than the tax rate proposed by the GOP. I think theirs should go to eleven. Because it is one more.

  135. 135
    gwangung says:

    @Comrade Darkness:

    Ah. Threw me. THAT Captain Carrot. Not this one.

  136. 136
  137. 137
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @Gus, oh, you dear person. You have not amused yourself in discworld yet.

    Fun times. Fun times. Get yourself a few books by Pratchett. Good escapism and man do we need it.

  138. 138
    passerby says:

    @Laura W:

    If you’re Contessa Brewer on MSNBC, that would be today.
    She was The Bomb.

    I saw that clip and think you’re right Laura. (Some of) the media may be reading the writing on the wall and are going to be selectively ignoring these clown acts.

    These same republicans who call these hair-on-fire news conferences without providing any substance are fast becoming like the boys who cried wolf.

    It’s truly astounding that they thought this stunt would produce something positive for their cause (do they even have a cause?).

  139. 139
    Comrade Jake says:

    @The Moar You Know:

    I’m pretty sure this is what happens when Eric Cantor is the "idea guy" for your party.

  140. 140
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @dmsilev: That’s a pretty ballsy April Fools’ prank. Gotta give ’em props for that.

  141. 141
    Comrade Darkness says:

    @gwangung: heh.

    Flaming carrot was raised by dwarves?

    Forget it, I got nothin’.

  142. 142
    Brian J says:

    Want to know, very simply, why the "budget" the presented was an EPIC FAIL? Because, as Robert Gibbs said, it contained more windmills than numbers.

    So yes, everything you said, and so much more.

  143. 143
    dmsilev says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    @dmsilev: That’s a pretty ballsy April Fools’ prank. Gotta give ‘em props for that.

    Maybe it will be revealed that the GOP is actually an extended piece of performance art by a troupe of twisted comedians. It would actually explain a lot.

    -dms

  144. 144
    guest omen says:

    @Comrade Jake:

    cantor was such a pain about dems not having read the aig provision in the stimulus. i bet he doesn’t know all the particulars in this pamphlet.

  145. 145
    Comrade Jake says:

    Meanwhile, CNN’s take on this is:

    GOP leader on budget: ‘Here it is, Mr. President’

    I think Lou Dobbs’ staff puts that CNN.politics page together.

  146. 146
    Laura W says:

    @dmsilev:

    Maybe it will be revealed that the GOP is actually an extended piece of performance art by a troupe of twisted comedians DougJ. It would actually explain a lot.

  147. 147
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    Nate Silver has his own Republican budget diagram.
    Is it now fair to say that the Republican leadership have thrown themselves under the bus?

  148. 148

    @Comrade Scrutinizer: I was thinking of the end of the book.

  149. 149
    John S. says:

    GOP leader on budget: ‘Here it is, Mr. President’

    Wow, what a pile of shit. They would have you believe that Boehner presented something serious and remotely worth a damn.

    CNN is going well out of their way to prove that they are all a bunch of WATB who are sore about one of their own getting sand kicked in his face.

  150. 150
    The Moar You Know says:

    I think I figured it out, guys. I think this is the world’s most elaborate troll.

  151. 151
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    @The Moar You Know: Did Boner finish his presser with "Country First"?

  152. 152
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Doesn’t look good for Memphis.

  153. 153
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    But wait, there’s more! The Repubs are promising more details this coming Wednesday. I’m betting that they’re going to throw in a set of Ginsu knives to the first 500 callers.

  154. 154
    Mike in NC says:

    How long before Cantor appears with a backwards "B" carved into his face and say that Obama attacked him?

    But in Cantor’s case it will be a backwards "O".

  155. 155
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    God, my stomach hurts from laughing at that Fark thread. I particularly liked this chart…now with more MOLECULES!

  156. 156
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @Mike in NC:
    Win.

  157. 157
    Comrade Jake says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead:

    I think Boehner also guaranteed a McCain victory. Wait a minute here…

  158. 158
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    Um, does the GOP leadership realize that they promised more details on April Fool’s Day?

  159. 159
    Texas Dem says:

    1. A truly pathetic GOP budget proposal. I’ve seen coloring books that contain more information. And what’s up with that diagram. Is it supposed to be a budget molecule or something? Geez. I can imagine Obama saying, "Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me!?"

    2. And let’s not forget Michael Steel explaining that all of his gaffes are actually part of a grand strategy (It’s all part of my master plan!). HINT TO GOP: If those gaffes are really part of some strategy, maybe he’s not a very good strategist.

    I’m beginning to wonder whether Obama is a political genius or just the luckiest SOB I’ve ever seen. Maybe a little of both?

  160. 160

    The word is "hapless."

    The hapless Republican Party.

    How long do you think this is going to last?

  161. 161
    here4tehbeer says:

    If, by "kids at Fark", you mean 50 year olds such as myself, then yeah – we’re definitely partaking in (and suffering from) "Projectile Pantaloon Pissing".
     
    In other words, we’re bitch-kicking a gift horse in the mouth. Repeatedly. Willingly. Relentlessly.
     
    :)

  162. 162
    JHinAZ says:

    Ugh – just clicked in. If your aim here was to reduce traffic to your blog, I think you will be wildly successful. Hate the new format!

  163. 163
    TheOfficialHatOnMyCat says:

    { this budget intentionally left blank }

  164. 164
    Calouste says:

    @joe from Lowell:

    How long do you think this is going to last?

    Is it common for Minority leaders and whips to be dumped halfway through a Congressional session? Didn’t think so.

    January 3, 2011 is your earliest answer.

    Oh, and if Boehner and/or Cantor are ditched before the elections, they are probably replaced with some up and coming talent like Michelle Bachman.

  165. 165
    Ash Can says:

    At the risk of piling on, in other (but in a very obvious way related) news, Sarah Palin backs out of attending a meeting with Alaska state legislators, then claims that they bailed on her so that they could hold their own press conference. Amazingly enough, said legislators are not in the least amused. (h/t GOS)

  166. 166
    barnicles says:

    why isnt anyone getting the real issue here.. this ISNT GOING TO BE A BUDGET…. its going to be 50 amedments from the origanal.. the same shet they’ve been doing…

  167. 167
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Duke going down too.

  168. 168
    Ash Can says:

    @JHinAZ: Just as a heads-up, I’ve noticed that, depending on (I assume) the volume of site traffic, the format of the site (the comments threads, at least) defaults to a different format on my older computer. This may be what you’re experiencing. Try refreshing the page and see if it changes.

  169. 169

    We’re going to have Eric Cantor on television until after the 2010 elections? Awesome.

    Can you imagine having Eric Cantor as the economic face of your party?

  170. 170
    Elie says:

    Y’all are making me laugh so hard…Lord, I am truly enjoying this — something that I do not take for granted. For a long while, I never thought that I would see this time but at last..

    Not takin’ anything for granted though…

    Really enjoyed the Bitch Slap video at #13 — yep — Lots of great other comments. Thanks for the enjoyment!

  171. 171
    Texas Dem says:

    Let’s avoid the rush and start calling Obama Mau’dib. Watching the GOP right now is like seeing those Sarduakar troopers getting mowed down by the Fremen. It won’t last so let’s enjoy it while we can.

  172. 172
    David says:

    Perhaps the "Republican Road to Recovery" is some sort of a reference to the rehab center Mark Foley went to.

  173. 173
    PanAmerican says:

    …No crisis
    Getting burned by the sun
    ..This is true
    This is no social crisis
    Just another tricky day for you….fella

    Historical Congressional peaks are around 300 House – 70 Senate. Given the current level of stupid they’re gonna get cracked again in 2010 and hand the Democrats those margins.

    Then, maybe, political reality might sink in. I’m beginning to allow for the possibility they go full on peak wingnut in 2012 for a party Götterdämmerung.

  174. 174

    Republicans Split In Congress Again — This Time On Obama Administration’s $3.6 Trillion Dollar Budget Proposal…

    G.O.P. House And Senate Members Having Political Food Fight Again With Leadership Afraid Of Lending Credence To “Party Of No” Label
    According to ……

  175. 175
    Fencedude says:

    @PanAmerican:

    Then, maybe, political reality might sink in. I’m beginning to allow for the possibility they go full on peak wingnut in 2012 for a party Götterdämmerung.

    GOPperdammerung?

  176. 176
    Comrade Jake says:

    So I’ve got a roadtrip between Albuquerque and Durham (straight I-40 shot) in early July. Any recommendations of places to stop before Tennessee? It’s looking pretty goddamn bleak.

    I was thinking I’d take in a minor-league baseball game or two. Problem is, all the teams are away that first week of July. I think I might seriously go insane.

  177. 177
    TenguPhule says:

    Sorry, but this is not bizarre by GOP standards: (a) it involved his own wife, (b) he wasn’t wearing diapers when did it, and© it didn’t take place in an airport men’s room.

    He wanted the actress who played 7 of 9 to have sex with other men while he watched.

    By any reasonable standard the man was either gay or insane.

  178. 178
    malraux says:

    @Comrade Jake: Well, here in little rock there’s the clinton presidential museum.

    That said, in memphis there’s a bunch of stuff like graceland

  179. 179
    TenguPhule says:

    I suspect Obama imagines in his head that he’s a cross between Vimes and Captain Carrot, tho… (down to the mysterious foreign parentage and unusual upbringing)

    If he does a berserker barrage at the next GOP convention screaming "WHERE IS MY COW?!" with a battle-axe, I say we elect him dictator for life.

  180. 180
    GSD says:

    Hapless/Nitwit 2012

    -GSD

  181. 181
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @Comrade Jake:
    Cadillac Ranch and the Big Texan Steakhouse in Amarillo, TX. I-40 incorporates some pieces of the Mother Road (Rte 66) so you can at least enjoy some historicity while you swelter.

  182. 182
    TenguPhule says:

    If Obama is Havelock Vetinari, the GOP is Reacher Gilt.

    More like the GOP is Lord Rust.

    Gods only know they get their tactics and denial of reality from him.

  183. 183

    Mike in NC @154
    That is absolute win for this BS thread.

  184. 184
    Ed Drone says:

    Did Boner finish his presser with "Country First"?

    I still say, "Country First" is a target-prioritization ranking. Given who uses the phrase, that is.

    Ed

  185. 185
    4jkb4ia says:

    That picture is hilarious.

    After how I can assume Villanova played today the glory of Pitt will not last until Sunday.

  186. 186
    Jess says:

    This bit of brilliance from the comments at Ezra’s cracked me up:

    "And the Obama budget reinstates the death tax
    scheduled to be fully repealed in 2010"

    This is a good thing. From smoking to drinking to gambling, we tax things we want to discourage. Who’s in favor of more death? I know I’m not. If the GOP were actually the party of life, they’d raise death taxes dramatically.

    Posted by: Davis X. Machina | March 26, 2009 5:51 PM

    (blockquote disfunction…everything under the empty box should be in the box. kthxbye)

  187. 187
    LD50 says:

    186 posts and not a single Republican has wandered in here and tried to defend this. This speaks volumes.

  188. 188
    Comrade Jake says:

    @Dennis-SGMM:

    Thanks buddy.

  189. 189
    Jess says:

    @David:

    How long before Cantor appears with a backwards "B" carved into his face and say that Obama attacked him?

    I think Ed Henry’s already on that one…

  190. 190
    Emma Anne says:

    I think Karl Rove used to be Reacher Gilt. But now I agree that the repubs are Lord Rust, or the villain from Money who gives himself a gangrenous hand.

  191. 191
    Ron says:

    @dmsilev:
    Goddamn it, that’s what I get for waiting til this late to read. I can’t put this up and be original!

  192. 192
    MikeJ says:

    Funny that there’s no real defense of this joke even over at psychoticred state.

  193. 193
    John's Minyuns says:

    Emma Anne:

    Cosmo? Sure, but then we nominate The Perfesser to be Pucci. Especially since we’re seeing a lot more of Moist Von Lipwig in Obama. If you’re going to risk failure, then you should at least fail big, right?

  194. 194
    [delurk]...[/delurk] says:

    @PanAmerican:

    Historical Congressional peaks are around 300 House – 70 Senate. Given the current level of stupid they’re gonna get cracked again in 2010 and hand the Democrats those margins.

    Then, maybe, political reality might sink in. I’m beginning to allow for the possibility they go full on peak wingnut in 2012 for a party Götterdämmerung.

    This is what I’m having trouble figuring out. Right now it seems as if their strategy, if it can be called that, is to keep their lunatic base energized and just wait for 2010. They expect, based on history, that they’re just magically going to gain seats then.

    If that fails to happen, will they come to their senses or will the triple down on the crazy?

  195. 195
    [delurk]...[/delurk] says:

    Needless to say, that second paragraph should be blockquoted, too.

  196. 196
    Mnemosyne says:

    Now, for a lot of guys’ imaginations, the only down-side was that she said "no," and then divorced the prick (not really fantasy material, unless you are a divorce lawyer).

    I think the killer quote that came out from her affidavit was him saying, "It’s not a turn-on when you cry." Because, you know, tricking your wife into going to a sex club when she’s repeatedly refused to go every time you’ve suggested it is totally the way to get what you want.

  197. 197
    Blue Raven says:

    Pedant steps in… it’s Kwisatz Haderach and Muad’dib.

    And no, that was definitely not seppuku. That besmirches the word and what it means to an entire culture. They are no longer acting with honor. That was suicide by pratfall. They knew the power line was live when it fell into the puddle, but they had to go and sit on the rickety ladder to paint the wall right above it. With BIG strokes.

    I also find it fascinating to see the Know-Nothing Party finally get its time in the sun as the second cycle of history. This is farce a French film producer would look at and say, "No, sorry, this makes no sense at all. Nobody will buy it."

  198. 198

    I haven’t been on Fark in a bit, I’ll have to go check if there’s pictures.

    /Farkian since 2001.

  199. 199

    @The Moar You Know:

    I think this is the world’s most elaborate troll.

    Mr Shine?

  200. 200
    jl says:

    The great orange Satan is Boehner, right?

  201. 201
    Johnny Pez says:

    Okay, now comes the bit where Andy Kaufman shows up and says, yes, this has all been one of his little pranks.

  202. 202
    BruceK says:

    Reminds me of a punchline from "Bloom County":

    "The joke is that they’re not joking."

    And meanwhile, the staff of The Onion are trying to cope with the disturbing fact that reality just lapped them again

  203. 203
    B Weir says:

    We are talking about the GOP Party that plans to tax cut its way out of the TRILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT created by the PREVIOUS PRESIDENT right? All those wealthy men, and just one brain cell to be shared among them. Pathetic. The Party of Ronald Reagan has fallen far in the past 20 years since the Gipper left office.

  204. 204
    JenJen says:

    Ya know what the best analysis of the Republican Budget Plan all day yesterday was?

    Well, Michelle Malkin’s of course:

    "He asked for it. He got it."

    I was as curious as you were at who the "he" was. True believer, that one.

  205. 205
    Hunter Gathers says:

    The GOP Plan For America – It Goes To Eleven!

    1 – Reduce top tax rate to .05 percent. The Achievers deserve it.
    2 – Reclassify ‘uninsured’ to ‘insurance impaired’. Presto! No more ‘uninsured’ people!
    3 – Invade a country. Preferably one with lots of oil and brown people.
    4 – Remove all regulations of every kind. Because regulations got us into this mess.
    5 – Round up the gays, put them into our lucrative private prison system. It will stimulate the economy!
    6 – Soylent Green. The easiest way to reduce health care costs is to remove the elderly from the health care system altogether. And adds to the food supply. You know you want to get a ‘Soylent Combo’ for $1.99. Don’t worry, it’s only Grandma and Grandpa.
    7 – Abolish the minimum wage. Get a better job, loser.
    8 – People on Welfare. See number 6.
    9 – Energy policy – Drilling for oil in Teddy Roosevelt’s head on Mount Rushmore. Bully!!
    10 – Immigration policy. See number 6.
    11 – Install Theocracy, headed by Snow Empress Palin. May the Palin clan rule for a 1000 years!

  206. 206
    someguy says:

    They don’t have a single good idea, yet here they are controlling the agenda. Looks like Cap & Trade may be sunk along with health care for this year unless the House manages to finagle it so that there’s no debate in the Senate. Apparently, Sen. Reid can deem the budget bill process as "reconciliation," and once the House passes them, Senate conferees (picked by Dem Senate leadership) will settle them in conference with House Dem leadership. I wish the Senate Dems would get over themselves and just let him handle it this way; it’s the only way the Republicans can be shut out for now, so that the mandate that we, the people gave the President can be carried out.

    The repigs need to just shut up for a while. Like forever, give or take a few years.

  207. 207
    Karmakin says:

    Put me down as well to the Obama as Vetinari list. Although he does show some Vimes in him from time to time.

    That combination is SCARY.

    The reality is though that this is a direct result of Rovian politics. They’ve played to and played up their radical base and ideology so much that they can’t step back from it now at this point. They’ve gone all-in with the crazy. And frankly, it’s going to get worse before it gets better, because for a variety of reasons, Obama just infuriates them.

  208. 208
    oh really says:

    Universal Access to Affordable Coverage

    Please define the following:

    1. Universal
    2. Access
    3. Coverage

    My guess would be something like the following:

    1. Universal — everyone except those who can’t afford the coverage and/or have pre-existing conditions

    2. Access — everyone has "access" to buying coverage in the same way that everyone has "access" to buying a Lamborghini

    3. Coverage — think of a window screen used as a raincoat

    Big winners? Wild guess — insurance companies.

    Big losers? Everybody else except Representatives, Senators, the president, and everyone with taxpayer provided health care coverage.

    Republicans think "reform" means "re" and "form." That is, reshape a pile of poop into a hamburger patty and call it dinner.

  209. 209
    Svensker says:

    @kommrade reproductive vigor:

    They really have progressed beyond shooting themselves in the feet. Now they’re tap dancing in a mine field on their stumps.

    Ha hahaaa

  210. 210

    @TenguPhule: No way Ryan is gay. He wouldn’t have wanted to watch while some dude got sweat all over her and mussed her hair. He’s an insane creep who’s too cheap to pay for pornos.

  211. 211
    Svensker says:

    @Mike in NC:

    But in Cantor’s case it will be a backwards "O"

    .

    Coffee on the monitor!

  212. 212
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    Why did they leave out winning both wars by May, finding a gigantic oil field in Nebraska, and discovering a way to make fried chicken from a mixture of dirt and sea water?

  213. 213
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    I love the idea of Obama as a combination of Vetinari and Vimes, but I suspect I’m the only one who thinks Hilary is Susan Sto-Helit. It takes a poker to vanquish the monsters harassing the children you’re raising with the village …

  214. 214
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    Aha! The word for that long metal thingie you use to poke at a fire is enough to put you in moderation. I’ll add that to my list.

  215. 215

    Pbffffhbth. This post insults 12-year-olds.

  216. 216

    @Zifnab:

    Are you kidding? Mark Foley probably has that kid’s poster plastered all over his room.

    *spits coffee across room* HA!

  217. 217
    over_educated says:

    My favorite line I have heard so far:

    instead of a budget they have a crayon drawing of a bald eagle high-fiving jesus.

  218. 218
    Hunter Gathers says:

    @Dennis-SGMM

    Why did they leave out winning both wars by May, finding a gigantic oil field in Nebraska, and discovering a way to make fried chicken from a mixture of dirt and sea water?

    because the first is impossible, the second is highly improbable, and so far the fried chicken tastes like rotten fish.

  219. 219
    Woody says:

    1) At what point do these jokers become absurd enough that even the fools in the media stop taking them seriously?

    Since their slapstick Presidential "ticket" still managed to collect around 60 MILLION votes, and the lap-dog *SCUM* are STILL the official mouthpieces of Corporatist propaganda, the answer to that question is obvious, isn’t it?

    (*SCUM* = SoCalledUnbiasedMedia)

  220. 220
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    BTW, the guy standing behind Boehner with the "I wonder if he’s good in bed" look on his face is my very own Congressman, David Dreier.

  221. 221
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    You know it’s bad when Antennarat can’t even come up with some spoof trollery defending the "budget."

  222. 222
    Adrienne says:

    1) At what point do these jokers become absurd enough that even the fools in the media stop taking them seriously?

    I’m guessing you missed Contessa Brewer and Nora O’Donnell ridiculing them yesterday. It was ten pounds of awesome in a five pound bag.

  223. 223
    The Moar You Know says:

    Well, the GOP sure caught a break on this one from their MSM buddies; absolute dead silence on their "budget".

    Like it never even happened.

    Remind me to beat the shit out of the next person who mentions "the liberal media". Liberal media my ass.

  224. 224
    gex says:

    @theturtlemoves: Wha? This blog gets so many Pratchett mentioning comments I assumed it went unnoted because we all just knew where your handle came from.

  225. 225
    harlana pepper says:

    I enjoyed Rachel Maddow’s take on this (what there was of it) which was:

    Republican budget = 25% tax rate on earners of $100,000 and up.

    And that’s it. Period.

  226. 226
    jibeaux says:

    This is farce a French film producer would look at and say, "No, sorry, this makes no sense at all. Nobody will buy it."

    Ha!

    I’m always late to the party due to my home computer I bored you all with yesterday, but this thing is fun. Do read that "road to recovery" thing, it’s full of those little…flow charts, whatever they are. It does not have, you know, numbers…

  227. 227
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    Their plan reminds me of Monty Python’s How to Do It skit.

  228. 228
    Rick Taylor says:

    The Republicans have gotten away with making shit up and having reporters duly report it for years. How were they supposed to know the rules have changed?

    It does not have, in the sense of a traditional budget, numbers…

    We really are in Monty Python territory (via Digby)

  229. 229
    Rick Taylor says:

    Now I’m wondering what the reaction of the mainstream media is going to be. I doubt it will happen, but they ought to completely stop taking the Republican party’s views on the budget seriously; this is a joke.

    And visiting a few random right wing sights, it seems they’re reporting this straight; the President asked for a budget and they gave him one. Is there anyone on the right who is suitably embarrasssed by this?

  230. 230
    RememberNovember says:

    GOP needs anutha flava cuz MC Steele is not the save-ah.

    truf, yo.

    Step 1. Curb Spending ( read:Curb Smile the middle class and line your pockets as per usual.

    Step 2: Tax Cuts and pray tinkle-down economics even reaches the poor bastards shelling out over 50% of their healthcare, even tho they are insured because pencil pushers know what’s best for you and your family!

    Step 4: Recovery! (profit)

    The GOP is like a pug ( pick up group) made up of stoners and emo’s
    trying to do a Sartharion 3- drake run at 3am.

    John knows what I’m talkin about.

    We call that an Epic Fail.

  231. 231
    RememberNovember says:

    IN the Monty Python vein:
    This is an Ex-Party….it wouldn’t "fwoosh" if you pumped three million votes through it!

  232. 232

    Omg, did you guys hear about Rahm Emmanuel’s reaction?

    A Tribune journalist who visited the White House today, tells me when he bumped into Rahm Emanuel today, the White House chief of staff joked "We’re going to send (the Republican proposal) over to the CBO to score it." Laughter ensued.

    Priceless http://www.swamppolitics.com/n.....s_rid.html

  233. 233
    harlana pepper says:

    All I have left to say is that Blue Dogs had better figure out they should not align themselves with these clown-bastards real quick. I hope this will help "educate and enlighten" them as to how to proceed in the future.

  234. 234

    @harlana pepper: it is going to take a lot of grassroots outrage (calls, letters, op-eds etc.) in order to beat down those Benedict Blue Dogs. to think that now that the Democratic party has reached its zenith of power, THIS would be the time to whinge on about "fiscal responsibility" and whatnot. we need to make it clear to them: support the president or fail in your next reelection bid

  235. 235
    Gregory says:

    By any reasonable definition, the Democrat [sic] budget spends too much.

    Rush still rules their world.

  236. 236

    Republicans Have a Better ‘Plan’: Tax Cuts for the Wealthy, a Budget with Imaginary Numbers, & Some Boffo Charts!…

    It’s like the GOP is going out of its way to become a caricature of itself. Dave Weigl: An anonymous official quoted in Politico’s story on the House GOP budget plans said, “We need to hold something up and say, ‘Here are our charts. Here are ou…

  237. 237
    TenguPhule says:

    All those wealthy men, and just one brain cell to be shared among them

    Oh it died of loneliness long ago.

  238. 238
    harlana pepper says:

    @Library Grape:

    Agreed, it is absolutely absurd. If there were any Blue Dogs in my state, they would be hearing from me. This is a red state but at least the Dems we have aren’t fucktards.

  239. 239
  240. 240
    LarryB says:

    @Zifnab:

    The GOP of ten years ago would have had a slick, savvy, aggressive campaign with crazy ass graphics and a dozen "experts" to back it up all getting built up in the background while their proxies in the media completely took the Democrats apart.

    Agreed. What happened to all of those wingnut foundations? Where is the parade of "non-partisan" conservative experts on cable news? I think the answer is that the academic conservatives have been alienated by the Limbaugh/Palin/JTP "party of dumb". They’re still out there, but message coordination with the GOP is gone, baby, gone.

  241. 241
    Nancy Darling says:

    @Library Grape
    @harlana pepper

    I am dogging my blue dogs, Lincoln and Pryor. I believe that phone calls and written post cards are best although I email too. I received an email response from Pryor about EFCA, wasn’t satisfied with his response, so I emailed him again and got the same form letter back again. My brother told me they probably scan letters for key words which generates the responses and never read them. I still email in case the numbers count, but always follow up by phone and snail mail (if there is time). I apologize to all of you for my Senators. My congressman is Boozman—I don’t apologize for him as he is a republican and can’t help himself.

    An even more pathetic case is my state rep, Brian King. He is introducing a bill in Little Rock to prevent municipalities from issuing Certificates of Domestic Partnership which are just nice things to do and have no legal validity. Guess what, there is only one town in all of Arkansas issuing said certificates. That would be Eureka Springs which he did not carry in November. King is such a s**t.

    I like to tease my red-neck (and staunch Democrat) cousin in Oklahoma that his state’s politicians trump Arkansas when it comes to ass-hattery. Last week I read that an OK state rep who happens to be a Democrat wants to investigate the U. of Oklahoma because they had Richard Dawkins speak there. She must be up for election and trying to establish some street cred with the fundies.

  242. 242
    tam1MI says:

    ::186 posts and not a single Republican has wandered in here and tried to defend this. This speaks volumes.::

    Over at Politico, a few made a semi-valiant attempt using last week’s talking points, but they were drowned in the tide of ridicule.

  243. 243
    RememberNovember says:

    @Fencedude:

    Seriously, he was NOT a Trekker. She was a "beard" most likely.

  244. 244
    RememberNovember says:

    @LarryB:

    Behold the power of the internet and Bloggers. It’s an instant truth serum.

  245. 245

    […] to the idea that I’m just falling for an elaborate dirty-lib-blogosphere prank. But after last week’s disaster, which fell on the inconspicuous March 26, I consider myself pretty […]

  246. 246

    […] when it comes to Rush as their leader, Glenn Beck as a legitimate commentator, or the GOP “budget.” (Spoiler alert: Tax […]

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