An incomplete list:
1.) Why anyone is paying any attention to Meghan McCain.
2.) Or Glenn Beck, who really seems intent on cornering the “batshit insane” market niche.
3.) Why I continue to get invitations to join the AARP, when I am nowhere near retirement age.
4.) Why the NY Times doesn’t realize stories like this make them seem out of touch, and why the people in them can’t find a happy medium in between extremes:
It is a sign of the times when Sacha Taylor, a fixture on the charity circuit in this gala-happy city, digs out a 10-year-old dress to wear to a recent society party.
Or when Jennifer Riley, a corporate lawyer, starts patronizing restaurants that take coupons.
Or when Ethel Knox, the wife of a pediatrician, cleans out her home and her storage unit, gives away an old car to a needy friend and cancels the family Christmas. “I just feel so decadent with all the stuff I’ve got,” she explained.
There is a wide range of consumer behaviors in between $10,000 cocktails and “OH SHIT LET’S CANCEL CHRISTMAS.” Also, if you have “old cars” just lying around that you can give away to friends without blinking, chances are you are still well off enough to explore that range of behaviors without too much hardship.
5.) Why we have to go through this nonsense with the Chinese in the first few months of every administration.
6.) Why the Republicans are so easily distracted. Stem cells- distraction. Limbaugh- distraction. Not to mention, how much attention do you really need to chant porkulus and talk about capital gains tax cuts?
7.) Why it is talking down the economy whenever Obama addresses the recession, but the media is silent when prominent Republicans glibly discuss bank failures.
8.) Speaking of Richard Shelby, when did everything to the left of him become socialism?
9.) Why anyone reads this website. Viewing the comments, it is obviously so they an pick on my poor cat. Bastards.
*** Update ***
Oh, goody. Lou Dobbs just promised to bring me two of the finest minds to discuss religious issues. Who could possibly be wingnutty enough for Lou Dobbs (who I am now convinced is completely insane) to consider them “fine minds?” I am gonna guess Tony Perkins and William Donohue.
Woo- the Kitty Pilgrim piece was rich. Apparently she and Lou have the vapors because we have not bombed China yet. Loved the inclusion of “most agree” and “some say” and “many think” in that report there, Kitty. Well played.
*** Update #2 ***
Am I amazing or what! I was right, the guests are Tony Perkins and William Donohue. There was no announcement they would be on the show, no hint of who it would be. My goodness this show is a joke.
YellowJournalism
Because of lists like this, which mirrors exactly what’s on our minds, too, and assures us that we’re not the only sane people in the world.
rapido
"Why anyone reads this website."
oh, come on. this is the first site I check after the times. you are brilliant
Nikita
"Why anyone reads this website"
Really John? You have to ask why your faithful minions keep coming back? Is someone feeling insecure and unsure of themselves? Seriously, are you fishing?
Zifnab
What could have caused them to miss the mark? Were they distracted because they were too hungry? Were they confused by the bright lights in the capital building? Did their pencils not have enough graphite in them when writing legislation? Was it too hot out? Too cold? Maybe it was all the racket in the men’s bathroom from the toe tapping…
Or maybe they spent the entire previous night Twittering rather than doing their jobs. Naw! That can’t be it.
For posts like these. Also, the dog blogging.
Lev
Fishing for compliments, Comrade John? Okay, you’re terrific.
cleek
like i got shit else to do between games of WordTwist on facebook.
El Cid
Our Georgia Republican legislators intend to protect our delicate citizenry from the onslaught of stem-cell embryo killers, and will do so by declaring embryos to be persons.
But we just can’t afford the bureaucracy that a few more peanut and other food production inspectors might bring.
El Cid
Well, at least "soci@list" is a step-up from "outside agitator", I think.
valdivia
9) because we are your minions? and we want to see pictures of tunch?
More seriously–because no one gets to the bottom of Teh stupid as you and the posters here do. I personally think that the idiots really do not know what socia lism really is, ei did you guys know that having a govt at all is soci alist
gbear
Because the movie hasn’t come out yet.
schrodinger's cat
My reasons
5. Smart analysis
4. Refreshing honesty
3. Snark
2. Comments section
1. Tunch updates
Ned R.
What everyone said about reason 9.
Ninerdave
I’m just here for the pictures of your lard ass cat.
robertdsc
/watches the Tunch Star floating in orbit.
Ninerdave
@El Cid:
This just made me bang my head on my desk real hard.
Josh Hueco
So when do we get to define real living human beings as persons?
Also, the fourth comment on the Glen Beck thread was funny: "I can see why Beck is worried. If everyone in the future is really smart, who will listen to the Glenn Beck radio show?"
Dennis-SGMM
Beck’s stem cell rant was a fine example of right-wing gibberish.
My question: Let’s say stem cell research does provide a cure for some terrible condition. Let’s say Beck finds that he suffers from that terrible condition. Will he refuse treatment on moral grounds?
evie
Three words: Joe. The. Plumber.
The fact that this person is still, today and nearly every day, in the news tells you all you need to know about the media. There is no minimum criteria for who they pay attention to.
Svensker
One of the few places that is sane but still funny.
And, er, I promised I wouldn’t say anything about your um, furred roommate, but him, too. Also.
El Cid
@Ninerdave: And to think, even the Church used to take decades to debate about who really was a person. Nowadays it takes about 8 minutes, even for individuals who are not visible to the naked eye.
Kiril
I read your website because I am stupid, and it was just now that I realized how stupid I am. It was only about two minutes ago that I figured out what "porkulus" is meant to convey.
See, I don’t watch TV news, I don’t listen to talk radio, and I don’t read any big-time pundits, so I miss a lot of momentary memes in the public discussion. I knew that porkulus was meant to refer to pork in the budget, but I just now realized that it was the words stimulus and pork combined.
For some reason, I thought it was some GOP nickname like "drive-by media" or something mascotty, like Abby Hoffman and Pigasus. Every time I heard porkulus I saw Porky Pig in a toga.
valdivia
@Dennis-SGMM:
thank you, exactly. but since there is zero accountability for conservative pundits (see Krystol, Bill and Dow 36,000 guy) it will be told as a wonderful story instead of the rank hypocrisy it would be.
Church Lady
I can only answer a few of them, and only for myself.
2. I tune into Glen Beck a couple of days a week BECAUSE he’s batshit insane. His craziness cracks me up.
3. AARP started sending me stuff shortly after my 49th birthday, even through it’s supposed to be for people 50 and up. Go ahead and join – it’s great for hotel discounts.
4. Because they want to show us the suffering of the upper-crust in NYC.
9. Pur-d entertainment. Serious issues discussed, sometimes seriously. Some very, very funny commenters – even when I disagree, usually it’s with a smile.
Incertus
@Ninerdave: It’s Georgia. That’s fairly mellow by their standards of late.
SFAW
Because we’re waiting for Jonah to bet you another $1000, as he did in 2005.
JR
Dude. Me too! I’m 32. I’m tempted to join for the discounts.
David
I had New York Times-realization years ago when I read an article, and I’m paraphrasing, (just a little) "Let’s look down our nose and examine this so-called Hip Hop music."
RoonieRoo
I often wonder if I’m imagining the crazy and when you see the same crazy, I feel less crazy!
JB
I like your cat.
Max
There are about half a dozen political blogs I read daily. I’ve grown fond of Balloon Juice for several reasons, not the least of which is that the comments usually stay on topic. It’s odd how rare that is.
les
Geeze, who else is there? Plus, she’s got lousy taste and knows how to get it on the intertoobs; she’s not afraid to admit how being a repub diva makes dating difficult. I mean, if you’re stupid enough to be a young repub, who ya gonna call?
Ming
Yeah, what schrodinger’s cat said. For the great analysis, the honesty, the snark, and the pet blogging. Also for the level of humanity you show, that seems to be appreciated and expressed by the commentariat as well; most folks here are profane sometimes, rude others, but rarely vicious or hateful. It’s a lot like The Daily Show, it helps me see the world more clearly, and a lot of times the humor is what makes seeing bearable.
Just to balance the fawning out a bit, I do sometimes wonder if it’s healthy to consume quite so many examples of flaming wingnuttery; surely there are folks on the Democratic side saying equally absurd things? It makes it easy to forget when there may be valid points to the other side. On the other hand, the batshit insanity gives rise to some of the finest snark… Ah well.
Media Browski
1) Rich, blond, buxom . . . you are an American, right? I’m surprised she doesn’t have a reality tv show yet.
2) The village idiot has always been a source of tribal amusement.
3) Prolly something to do with your "Get those -hippies- wingnuts off my lawn" attitude and the fact that you already own one fat cat (rumored to be close to splitting into two fat cats).
4) People like me no longer read newspapers.
5) Because the Chinese have similar diplomatic philosophies as the Bush Administration. Consider this a "firm handshake."
6) Continuous cognitive dissonance does that to a person/party
7) People like me no longer watch cable news (Maddow excepted) either
8) Who?
9) Your riveting political evolution, recipes, Brick Oven Bill, Tunch, only comments section that doesn’t leave me exasperated (dkos, I’m looking at you!)
El Cid
Glenn Beck knows his niche. He’s trying to be the Coast to Coast AM of the right wing talkers.
random asshole
In Barack Obama’s New Socialist America, website reads you.
gbear
@El Cid:
North Dakota did it too. I think we should boycott vacationing in ND.
gbear
@El Cid:
North Dakota did it too. We should all boycott vacationing in ND.
Josh Hueco
Okay, it’s well-known in these parts what an idiot I am, but for some reason this post reminds me of this.
Nikita
@El Cid: I used to live in Atlanta and I’ll never forget the evolution warning stickers that the Cobb county board of Education put on high school science textbooks. I lived in Cobb county at that time and used to hang my head in shame.
People that live in Atlanta tend to forget that the rest of the state can be quite wingnutty.
BTW, have y’all seen William Saletan’s latest piece on Slate? He equates Obama’s case for stem cell research to Bush’s case for torture. Lovely.
Litlebritdifrnt
Re: AARP – do these people not understand what psychological damage they do to people? When my DH (now 52) got an AARP invitation in the mail (just before his 50th birthday) it sent him into such a deep blue "I am an old fart and therefore no longer attractive to my wife or anybody" funk that I intercepted and trashed every invitation after that. Fuckers. I am 48, I turn 49 this year (March 11) and they have wasted a veritable forest of paper sending me junk. Fuck em. Didn’t they get the memo(s) a) 60 is the new 40 and b) everyone’s retirement is so fucked now that everyone will be working until they die on the job and AARP’s demographic will be CEO’s and Hedge Fund managers.
valdivia
@Nikita: that Saletan link made me hit my head on the desk. WTH? Since when is Saletan insane?
gbear
North Dakota did it too.
Quicksand
Really, Porkulus is no big deal. But I did find Vector Porkulus to be challenging, as well as Differential Porquations.
Comrade Stuck
1) doesn’t compute
2) because he can
3) because your tired
4) Rich people don’t surf!!
5) Because it’s the Year of the Magic Negro
6) Because Republicans don’t surf!!
7) Because Glib Republicans sign their paychecks
8) Alah fucking Bama
9) Because cats can’t read.
Stupid answers to stupid questions. Next.
Litlebritdifrnt
@JR:
Bah you get the same discounts belonging to AAA, and you don’t get labelled as a "retired person:" you know while still gainfully employed and living paycheck to paycheck.
Media Browski
@valdivia: Slate’s purpose is to give writers a place to work as their readers lose all respect for them.
I think there may be underpants gnomes at work there.
Phoenician in a time of Romans
5.) Why we have to go through this nonsense with the Chinese in the first few months of every administration.
I’m surprised the Chinese don’t gussy up a big surveillance ship of their own and float it right off Newport News, just to show the US how it feels…
El Cid
Will Saletan is all that stands between our legalization of stem cell research and the takeover of the planet by murderous raging bio-engineered human-animal hybrids.
valdivia
@Media Browski:
I used to read it but their political coverage got so bad I stopped and this article just confirms I did the right thing.
Mike G
On Monday, Georgia Senate Republicans pushed the “Ethical Treatment of Human Embryos Act”
Today’s GOP, Joe-the-Plumbing new depths of stupid. Way to destroy your state’s IVF industry, Fucktards for Jeebus.
The Populist
John,
I come here because I like the way you lay out news items, you welcome opinions from all over the spectrum and you let people like me write how we feel, cussing and all.
thinc
I started getting invitations to join AARP about 5 years ago – when I was 27. They actually sent me a membership card. Although, it may have been the kind where they send you the card to try to guilt you into paying. I didn’t bite, though I was sorely tempted to try to use it to get senior citizen discounts.
I also got signed up to a pregnant woman’s mailing list when I was in college, despite the fact that I am (and was) a guy. It caused quite a stir when I walked into a class with a free sample case of Enfamil that came in the mail.
No, no friends ever fessed up.
Brendan
Wasn’t Saletan running for his life a few months back after getting called out for quarter-assedly arguing for racial intelligence differences? I guess still writing him checks is Slate’s latest bit of counterintuitivism.
Chasm
I started getting AARP stuff when I was about 35, which I figured was just because I share my name with my father and someone just got is confused.
As to why I read this site? Well, back in the dark days of 2005, the novelty of watching a former w-nut evolve was just too much fun. Now, it turns out you guys are pretty good writers, astute, and funny too!
Rick Taylor
I’ve been wondering why it was people used to talk about a Republican administration coming into power as meaning "The grownups are in charge"? Whether I agree or disagree with Obama, I always know he’s a grown up and he’s treating me like one. Republicans? Grown ups? Are you kidding me?
Litlebritdifrnt
Re: The embryos. Is the next step to propose legislation that every woman who has a miscarriage is subject to the same penalty for failure to carry a fertilized egg to term? Further, do we prosecute women for having periods because they have obviously not allowed the fertilization of an egg in their womb? This is absolutely absurd. There is a simple solution, a release signed by the parents once they have had their requisite amount of children and no longer require the frozen embryos they can choose to have them destroyed or choose to have them donated to embryonic stem cell research, just as one can donate one’s organs or one’s body to science the parents of the embryos should be able to donate them to the cause of stem cell research should they so choose.
Brick Oven Bill
I will try my best to bring you from darkness to light as I see it John. Here we go:
1. Because Meghan McCain is hot. She is also out there and I have been reading her work for a long time now. This link will get you to her 01JUL08 ‘London Calling’ post, which is pretty good. There is another one of her jumping on the sofa with her mother, which I have been unable to pull up.
2. Because Glenn Beck has the best track record in the media as far as predictions go. My theory on this is that he excels because he did not go to college. The two most successful business men I have ever met did not go to college either. They started out as cops. The key to business is understanding people. College, in general, teaches a false dogma these days. See Obama’s 25 CDs to the British Prime Minister, that cannot be played in Europe. Dumb.
3. I don’t know. I get them too though.
4. This is because the NY Times hires people from the fancy colleges, which are worse than the standard colleges.
5. The Chinese are a very smart people. They are testing for weakness, a natural part of human nature. I believe they sense weakness because we are whining about it on TV. Obama should have instead threatened tariffs.
6. The Republicans are corrupt, and have been outgamed by an even more corrupt Democratic Party, so they are acting stupidly. Rahm Emmanuel made his money in Fannie Mae and is the Chief of Staff. He thinks he is cute, but will be the sacrificial anode, in my opinion. Just wait for Blago’s book to come out. Perhaps one day he will be indicted for his actions at Fannie Mae.
7. Because Obama is the President.
8. Because this is a good web-site and I like lists.
JD Rhoades
I’m sorry, I know it’s a serious incident, but this just struck me as hilarious:
OMG they’re in their skivvies! All hands ‘ware boarders!
Joshua Norton
The way things are going you’re never going to be near retirement age. By the time you’re 65 it will probably have been jacked up to 105.
Who makes fun of kitty? Bring me their heads!
schrodinger's cat
What about Integral Porkulus and Linear Porkulus?
chuck
Maybe the showers were broken on the Chinese vessels?
GSD
I thought the US was going to turn it around after the election but I fear the plutocrats have found their footing again.
They will gladly destroy America before they will admit they are wrong.
-GSD
aimai
I come for the snark but stay for the comments. I actually find this to be one of the most fun blogs for comments. As someone said upthread they stay on topic, there are just a few cherished trolls, and at least one comment (not troll) generally makes me laugh hysterically once a day. I read a lot of blogs, but there’s no point commenting on most of them. These threads are great. And I really feel like I’ve learned a lot from John’s "counter tenor" perspective on things.
aimai
schrodinger's cat
We can has some Tunch? I won’t pick on him, promise.
George Bush
I enjoy this websight because it is on all the time.
MikeJ
Why read this site? I got tired of hearing about the failed Obama Administration on or about November 3rd. That was from the left.
Rainy
I like your website, because you are a logical thinking human and you put things into perspective. That’s why I come to this website. You do not freak out over every issue. I really came to like your website during the Prop 8 situation. I had to take a hiatus from blogs like Daily Kos when that was going on. Good God!
Thanks!
daryljfontaine
@valdivia: Saletan has had a chronic intellectual honesty disorder when it comes to the abortion debate and its offshoots for a while now, basically ignoring wholesale the woman in the equation while arguing the societal ills of abortion. Well documented on Eschaton and Pandagon.
D
Ninerdave
I’m starting my own list of things I don’t get.
1) Why on earth you are watching Lou Dobbs.
2) Why you have not changed the channel to something less full of shit, like the Home Shopping Network.
3) Why on earth you are watching Lou Dobbs.
Just Some Fuckhead
Kudos to her for still being able to fit into a ten year old’s dress. I think.
Delia
Hell, Tunch has a finer mind than anyone Lou Dobbs could dig up. He has a finer mind than Lou Dobbs. So do my two cats, even the dumb one.
valdivia
@daryljfontaine:
thanks for that info I had no idea.
Wile E. Quixote
Beats me. I don’t know why anyone pays any attention to her, or to Megan McArdle.
Because you want to know where he is at all times so the crazy bastard can’t get the drop on you.
Is your father named "John Cole"? My father and I share the same name, I’m a "Jr." and I’ve been getting AARP membership mailings and Medicare Plan D information for years.
Because rich white folks who live in NYC are the most important people in the world.
Because the US Navy is a bunch of rice queens?
Oooohhh, look, shiny thing, focus your outrage upon it.
Because he’s an uppity negro who dared to win election to the presidency.
Forever. The fact that he represents a state that receives $1.66 in federal funding for every dollar in taxes paid doesn’t cause any cognitive dissonance for him either because in order to have cognitive dissonance you have to have some cognition. Fortunately southern Republicans aren’t so handicapped.
Because we’re afraid Tunch will eat us if we don’t. Also because we like to read Brick Oven Bill’s posts about squirrels. Also how many other blogs are there out there that are run by an ex 19Kilo?
mextremist
i mostly skip the words and just look for the recurring pictures of the furry albino pygmy seal somebody keeps posting.
Glidwrith
Folks, the egg=person legislation is not just at the state level. My own dear Rep. Duncan Hunter has introduced it at the federal level, with 48 sponsors no less. I’m informed that because he is a husband and father of three that he understands these things.
Brick Oven Bill
More Meghan.
Comrade Stuck
@Brick Oven Bill:
Yes, yes , yes BoB. Here is a Beck oldy but goldy on his inciting skills understanding peoples.
Emma Anne
@schrodinger’s cat:
Matrix porkulus.
justcorbly
For a real taste of NYT out-of-touch-edness, read their travel section.
The PRC government is consistent, if nothing else.
Conservatives like to engage in their ritual chants, i.e., distractions, because they’re almost always hot button issues that bring in a lot of money from the True Believers. It’s all about the cash.
Joshua Norton
Which includes everything and everybody. There is no one to his right. Even the devil has to tell him, "dude, just chill".
KG
1. Never heard of her, but having seen the picture and see that she can actually sound kind of sane talking about the current state of the GOP, I’m more than willing to take her out on a date.
2. Is that the creepy guy with the eyes on Fox News? I’m pretty sure he’s actually a muppet.
3. because the AARP, like any lobbyist needs to expand its base
4. because nuance doesn’t sell (hopefully, Obama can change this)
5. because foreign relations are all about diplomacy, which is the ability to speak long windedly while saying nothing.
6. because ADHD is a bitch and they haven’t taken the time to actually think shit through
7. because, as Brick Oven said, Obama’s the president, and unfortunately, that’s where the buck stops
8. November 4, 2008, or January 21, 2009, tough to say, exactly, but those are my best guesses.
9. because this is one of the last few refuges in the blogsphere where the crazy doesn’t just walk up and junk punch you (this coming from a recovering blogger who, at one point, read 6 papers and 50 blogs daily – I miss law school).
Rick Taylor
Something I don’t understand. WTF were banks doing investing billions of dollars in risky derivatives? I know it’s old news, but WTF?
That One - Cain
@George Bush:
Unlike you, right, George? :)
cain
Litlebritdifrnt
@thinc:
Ha Ha – that reminds me, sailors get bored at sea, (natch) and one of their favorite tricks is to use the sign up thingys in magazines to get stuff sent to their friends. Tampon samples were the favorite, simply well, you know, however, gaytimes and such came a close second. We represented a client who was accused by her ex-wife of harassing her by signing her up for all sorts of stuff, porn, et. al. which she claimed was "emotionally distressing" due to the fact that her kid went and got the mail from the mailbox. The Judge who presided over the case told them all to "grow up
John Cole
Did you see the update- I nailed the guests. Tony Perkins and William Donohue.
gbear
Gahhh!! Obviously I had a problem with moderation a while ago. I go off to make dinner and come back to comment mayhem at around 6:00.
demkat620
I come here to find out what’s for dinner.
Speaking of which, what’s for dinner?
Brick Oven Bill
There is a better one, but here she is jumping on a bed.
Dennis-SGMM
@John Cole:
I nailed the guests. Tony Perkins and William Donohue.
Must gouge out part of brain that holds image of nailing Perkins and Donohue.
2liberal
how are LDs ratings? he is channeling a certain group of people who are looking for a scapegoat for the current state of the world.
Napoleon
Why I come here, an intelligent interesting host, and easily the best posters in the comment threads on a political website.
Mike in NC
That’s some "Narcissism We Can Believe In" for sure. Definitely a case where the apple didn’t fall very far from the tree. Did mommy and daddy buy her the entourage, too?
CountryMeghan First!Betsy
I have no idea why slate continues to pay Will Saletan. Maybe he has something on them? Between his bizarre belief that it never occurred to anyone on the pro-choice side to reduce the number of abortions by providing contraception, and his delightful foray into racial intelligence profiling (made better by his claim that no one could get upset with him because SCIENCE!), I can’t see why anyone would possibly read him anymore.
Re: #9, because you’re the only blogger I’ve ever encountered who can admit he’s wrong without a lot of passive-aggressive hostility and defensiveness. Plus Tunch. Plus you posted a picture of my kitty at Christmas, thus earning my undying loyalty and minionship.
Fax Paladin
Well, they are… to the Times’ advertisers…
Maus
She’s not mad because Coulter is crazy, she’s mad because Coulter said she’d rather vote for Hillary than a "fake conservative" like McCain. She is cute and likes Dita von Teese, but is waaaaaay sheltered and has no clue why her slightly less-loathsome beliefs still reflect poorly on all of her relationships.
gnomedad
Hey, me, too!! Oh, wait. Never mind.
Wile E. Quixote
@Dennis-SGMM
Oh I don’t know, I’ve got a mental image of me nailing both Perkins and Donohue, to a cross, or a Star of David, or a tree, or just to whatever scraps of lumber I have lying around the garage and it’s a happy mental image.
Dennis-SGMM
@gnomedad:
The only thing worse than receiving AARP literature when you aren’t near retirement age is receiving it when you are.
mcc
Why I continue to get invitations to join the AARP, when I am nowhere near retirement age.
Maybe they know something you don’t.
*menacing string music*
John S.
Hey BOB, do us all a favor?
Next time you’re horny, instead of paying attention to Meghan McCain or voting for Sarah Palin, go buy yourself a Juggs or Hustler and spare the rest of the country.
gbear
@Dennis-SGMM:
Join for a year and then quit. The amount of mail you receive from them drops to 2-3 mailings a year.
Adrienne
1) Because she’s pretty with big tits. As a pretty girl with big tits, I can tell you that attention ain’t hard to come by. Add in the fact that she’s loaded, and bada bing.
2) Because that’s the point! He’s crazy as hell and we point and laugh.
3) Because they need more people. Since they represent old people, their numbers are constantly dwindling. You know, they like, croak and AARP gotta keep the recruiting up.
4) Because, believe it or not, Americans like to read about the rich. They want to be them. They think they will be them one day. This applies no matter how ridiculous said rich people may be. See: Hilton, Paris; Lohan, Lindsay; Ritchie, Nicole.
5) Because with those slanted eyes you know Chinese people can’t see good. They don’t mean any trouble.
6) Yeah, I’ve got nothing. Shiny ball syndrome?
7) I hate to agree with crazy as BOB but, yeah, he’s the Prez and his words carry infinitely more weight than any of the other 535 members of Congress. It a perk of the job and a curse of the job. It ain’t called the bully pulpit for nothin!
8) See: Election, 2006.
9) Dude. Really? Stop fishing for compliments. You’re like an obsessed teenage girl.
gbear
@mcc:
menacing string musicdramatic prairie dogKaren
Two reasons:
3. If you’re over 50 you get them. Get used to it.
9. The same reasons listed by everyone else.
Dennis-SGMM
@gbear:
I stuffed their postage-paid return envelopes with nicely cut sheets of Densalloy cadged from buddies still in aerospace machining.
Les Miserable Fulcanelli
1.) A) blonde, B) breasticles, C) see 1 & 2
2.) Watching Glenn Beck activates the same portion of the brain that becomes stimulated by watching car wrecks.
3.) A) U been Punk’d, B) They figured since you were a conservative (pre-enlightenment) you were old.
4.) Been to NY lately?
5.) To see if the new president will go all the way on the first date.
6.) Plausible denial for why they believe Americans will forget their monumental fuckups of the last 28 years. They forgot them, so everybody else must have too. Now where were we…
7.) Better cocktail party invites from prominent Republicans.
8.) January 20, 2009.
9.) A) I’d rather laugh with the sinners… B) Snark as a metaphysical experience. The best around, even better than Wonkette C) I’ve never insulted Tunch, even though I’m a dog peep. That reminds me, I gotta send a pic of the kids…
Hope this helps.
ErinSiobhan
Thank you for making me laugh about Dobbs. That doesn’t happen often.
You might want to do something about that masochistic streak that led you to watch him for so long. Not healthy.
JWW
John,
First off, no, you are not amazing. You are a creature of comfort and nothing beyond that.
Points 1,2,3,4 they are something you took the time to read. Nothing else!
Point 5, it is not long off that it may be of concern, especially with the current rookie.
Point 6, is not about the research, but who has to fund it.
Point 7, I’ll stop here. You are deaf to what President Obama has been saying every other day. Dumb as you must be from my response.
John,
Business 101, as per John Cole, if it will sell, print it!
new day rising
"On Monday, Georgia Senate Republicans pushed the “Ethical Treatment of Human Embryos Act” through a key committee with little debate and just eight minutes of testimony. The measure would define an embryo as a person."
Theoretically, that means a sperm is a half person. Same for an egg, too.
As a male, which I am, that means I have millions of half people "down there" at any one time. Now I don’t feel so alone.
new day rising
Gary Farber
"Why anyone is paying any attention to Meghan McCain."
It’s a classic man-bites-dog story, John. Daughter-of-ultra-famous-Republican, Republican herself, bites arch-conservative.
I don’t know that many people are "paying any attention" to it in the sense of "this is important," but that’s why it’s been reported, of course.
"Am I amazing or what! I was right, the guests are Tony Perkins and William Donohue."
One might similarly ask why anyone pays attention to cable "news."
"Why the Republicans are so easily distracted."
Because they have no issues that are more popular that they can flog.
Church Lady
My parents are very, very devout Catholics and William Donohue embarrasses even them.
Stephen1947
#9 – didn’t have time to read more than first 25 comments – I read because you’ve been there, done that, got the teeshirt, and lived to tell about it re Publicanism. And you know how to write, and so do quite a few of your commenters – and because Tunch is like a mix of my big baby white cat and his evil little skinny black sister.
Jill
It’s one of only a few islands of sanity in this otherwise totally insane world. And, consistently makes me LOL, another rarity these days.
Just Some Fuckhead
Quite honestly, I’ve been asking myself the same thing. After the eleventybillionth Rush Limbaugh post in a row and the reallyhugenumbereth time someone set a persona loose in a thread for the dawgs to chase around in circles for three hundred comments, it has started to feel a lot like Ground Hog Day, the movie.
And frankly, I don’t care much for the John Cole persona: mercurial, authoritarian, uneven.
I know you prolly needed a pickmeup instead of a kick in the junk but you deleted my fucking puppy pics, you monster. Fuck you.
aschup
Shorter John Cole: "Does this post make me look fat?"
HRA
9.) Why anyone reads this website.
As someone said you are on every day with current findings that I don’t have to read. Also, I enjoy reading the comments.
Tunch is a beautiful kitty. I love seeing his pictures – attitude and all. I enjoy all the pet pictures.
Shelby was a Democrat before he leaped over to the Republican side.
Carrie
cleek
what’s a "Megan McCain" ? can i stuff a dollar in her thong ?
Carrie
Is there a block quote school i can attend?
Prefferably online?
goddamn…..i need help.
aschup
@gbear: Was that a shot at Tunch’s striking resemblance to Godzilla when he’s angry?
JWW
new day rising,
Persoanl belief is really not the issue. Some people do, some don’t. The point being why should our tax dollars pay for it. Is it because we have a surplus of tax dollars?
El Cid
[blockquote][p]text text text. [p]next paragraph text. [p]and next paragraph text.[/blockquote]
Replace the square brackets with left & right angle brackets and you get:
Cain
I just come here to admire my own comments.
cain
Brian J
Give The New York Times a break. That story was pure fluff, but even that has its place in serious publications, as long as the subject matter itself isn’t significant. No matter, consider that the paper, like the other more elite publications in the country, is fighting circulation declines and trying to balance that loss with web based advertising and demographic sales. The businessmen at The Times probably figure that catering to a smaller but more exclusive audience, which that story seemed to be aimed at, is a way to make money, as it usually is.
If you want to bash the paper for something, do it because one its questions to Obama this past weekend was "Are you a socialist?" Seriously.
gbear
@aschup:
I think of BJ more as a political version of High Fidelity (which I’ve read but still haven’t seen the movie).
@El Cid:
Thanks for that. I didn’t know how to keep the block together thru multiple paragraphs.
jrg
This should probably be a poll. I think it’s because she’s hot and she’s the only person associated with the GOP that has the guts to go after the hate machine.
It does worry me that she’s going after Coulter. How’s her dad going to react when she starts getting death threats? Some of the online rants about her got pretty nasty today.
Because your writing is honest, and the comments are funny and insightful.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Nice try assholes, but we didn’t spend hours sharpening our pitchforks for nothing.
les
Dead out of luck. She’s not able to stay in the vicinity of anyone with lieberal leanings. You been here, dude, can’t work.
Comrade Stuck
@jrg:
Dude. don’t say that, even if it could be true. You’ll trigger 10 straight threads alternating between Steeler love and threads on whether Tunch looks fat in this pic or that pic, interrupted only by painful Furminator commercials .
Wile E. Quixote
@Adrienne
Not only is she loaded, but her mom owns a liquor distribution business, she’s even better than the girl whose father owns a liquor store.
Just Some Fuckhead
@Wile E. Quixote: The only thing that could make it better is if she had a really hot twink brother to threeway with. Ya know, if anyone was into that sorta stuff..
Brick Oven Bill
Update Re:: The Chinese are a very smart people. They are testing for weakness, a natural part of human nature. I believe they sense weakness because we are whining about it on TV. Obama should have instead threatened tariffs.
Impeccable’s crew radioed to tell the Chinese ships that it was leaving the area and requested a safe path to navigate, the Pentagon said.
Pentagon officials said the incident followed "increasingly aggressive" acts by Chinese ships against the Impeccable on Wednesday and Saturday and against the USNS Victorious surveillance ship on Thursday while it operated in the Yellow Sea.
Requested permission from a couple of little fishing boats? Look at the boats in the link. And we admitted it openly? Run them over, they violated international maritime law.
Putin is watching this. I believe that he will take Iran, seize the oil assets, and obtain the warm water port the Russians have long sought. Putin will come as a conqueror, not as a liberator.
Brick Oven Bill
What do President Saakashvili and President Obama have in common? They are both lawyers who graduated from Columbia University. Theirs is one skill set, that is quite different from the skill sets obtained in the KGB.
Putin has stated that he intends to hang Saakashvili by the balls. If I were Saakashvili, watching the USNS Victorious ask safety permission from fishing boats, I would be worried tonight.
Teresa Wyeth
I can tell you why you are getting the AARP stuff. They’re softening you up for the day when you look in the mirror and realize you actually CARE what is in the AARP magazine.
Dave_Violence
#4. "Or when Jennifer Riley, a corporate lawyer, starts patronizing restaurants that take coupons"
McDonalds? Corporate lawyers in New York "should" be pulling down $250k+ and are very busy, always. They do not need to clip coupons and do not have the time to bother with them. Someone else orders the food.
I think that the NYT seriously believes that these strange people (there is something wrong with saving money using coupons?) are representative of their normal readership and thus representative of normal Americans.
I also think that most of these stories are writer’s fantasies. "you had to wear a 10-year old dress?" Wow! You still fit in it?! Why not a two-year old dress? Or what’s wrong with last years? Etc. It’s so easy to pick apart these idiotic anecdotes… they can’t be true as these folks are the type who forget to breathe. and that’s only one facet of the irrelevance of the NYT.
At present, they’re running a blog called "Proof" that highlights the youthful pre-alcoholic. It’s inappropriate for my mom’s New York Times and too boring to read, though, so I don’t bother with it.
Comrade Desert Hussein Rat
@Media Browski:
Re. Meghan and Reality Shows, wait until after the geezer, er old man wins reelection. Then i expect E! to be all over this shit.
OriGuy
Two of the finest minds of the seventeenth century. Maybe they could re-enact the Thirty-Years War. It would be too much to hope for the Second Defenestration of Prague, though.
Kyle
Putin is watching this. I believe that he will take Iran, seize the oil assets, and obtain the warm water port the Russians have long sought.
You don’t even pass the laugh test. Russia doesn’t even have a border with Iran.
Try broadening your reading beyond the John Birch Society newsletter. This is so stupid even a neocon would have trouble reciting it without embarrassment.
Church Lady
@Carrie – Don’t feel bad. I’ve yet to figure it out, no matter how many times others give directions. I’ve accepted the fact that I’m technologically challanged and have given up. Block quotes are not in my future.
Brick Oven Bill
Hey Kyle, Central Asian smarty-pants, what separates the Republic of Georgia from Iran? By the way, This is an SU-37.
I do note that Russia has been very friendly with Iran recently. Azerbaijan is between those Russian SU-37s and those F-14s that were kept in the air for, like, three days after the Western maintenance crews left.
The Russians are smart enough to stay away from Armenia. It will be Azerbaijan.
EL
I rely on John to keep me updated on cat stuff, this is where I first heard about stuffonmycat.com.
Aside from that, I was impressed years ago by the way John approached the Valerie Plame outing. Trying to find the facts and discover what the Balloon juice community could agree on – a novel approach for a partisan of either side!
Hey, I bought one of those after seeing it here. It works well, but my cats only let me use it where they like to be scratched or stroked – about 20% of their body surface area.
JenJen
You know how I know you’re not old enough to join The AARP?
Because you called it "The AARP."
In my parents’ home, it is, simply, AARP. And It Is The Word Of God.
Have you not experienced your folks going through the AARP kool-aid circuit yet? ;-)
TenguPhule
Since when do Goodyear blimps have feelings?
Tattoosydney
@Brick Oven Bill:
Hey BOB, sorry I didn’t respond to you the other day… time zone differences….
I am not sure if I can raise the issue of funding for your oil shale project with the red wiggle. I suspect that if I did I might find myself, three or four years down the track, acting as primary witness in a criminal trial….
I will say hello to him for you though, if I see him.
Richard Stanczak
John, Thanks for the link to the NY Times article on the spiritual renaissance of the American elite/rich.
This whole economic meltdown/depression will have been worth it if these humble souls have learned to live frugally and to appreciate those things that money cannot buy or long term lease. Think of their children!
Thats why I faithfully check on your site every day.
eyepaddle
Catsy
In no particular order:
a) Because she’s hot.
b) Because she’s a hip Republican.
c) Because she’s a celebrity.
d) Because the hot, hip daughter of the most recent losing Republican presidential candidate calling out Ann Coulter is man-bites-dog in a big way. Actually, woman bites dog, but the point stands.
Sensational aspects aside, Meghan McCain actually has a really good head on her shoulders. If the future of the Republican party was closer to her thinking than Rush Limbaugh’s, we might have a real opposition party in the GOP instead of the cast of Drawn Together depicted as angry old white men.
JR
one more for the list:
What the hell is tilapia, where did it come from and how did it end up being on every fricking menu in America? Where’s Lou Dobbs on this issue?
Sue
2) Because I keep hoping against hope he will have another hemorrhoid episode and live to tell about it.
DonkeyKong
I always refer to William Donohue as the Archbishop of Syphilis and Tony Perkins as Deacon Scroads.