You say you want a revolution

Via Leo in the comments, here’s a thread at Hannity.com:

This cannot be parodied.

180 replies
  1. 1
    Bulworth says:

    I’m a little disappointed the Secession vote isn’t carrying the day.

  2. 2
    Dave says:

    And John’s Peak Wingnut Theory takes another major blow…

  3. 3
    Max says:

    It’s a little difficult to conduct an armed rebellion when your fingers are coated with Cheetos dust.

  4. 4
    Comrade Stuck says:

    The Bats are busy in the wingnut Belfry.

  5. 5
    Martin says:

    No ethnic cleansing? What a pussy.

  6. 6
    cleek says:

    hey Sullivan, there’s your fucking 5th column!

  7. 7
    Mazacote Yorquest says:

    "One big circle around the sun" got no votes?

  8. 8
    Carnacki says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but does Sean Hannity’s site look a little gay?

    The leaning silhoutte, the manly man mugging?

  9. 9
    Michael says:

    The Swollen Prostate Regiment of the Chairborne Ranger Division is coming to save us from unAmerican Communists. The can give the war cry of "WOLVERINES" and "Stop Porkulus!" as their Medicare-bought electric chairs whirr them up to storm the White House fence. Some will manage to wheeze their way over and will survive, as the White House guards will be laughing too hard to shoot straight.

    CHAIRBORNE!

  10. 10
    Gravenstone says:

    /gobfuckingsmacked

    Granted, fewer than 20 respondents isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement (although it may represent a majority of Herr Hannity’s readership). But how is this not the very definition of sedition?

  11. 11
    Mike in NC says:

    Nice graphic, eh? "Hannity! Quit slouching! Take your hands out of your pockets, maggot! Now drop and give me 50!"

  12. 12
    Scott says:

    When Republicans are in office, dissent is treason.

    When Republicans aren’t in office, treason is their only strategy.

  13. 13
    Michael says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but does Sean Hannity’s site look a little gay?

    The leaning silhoutte, the manly man mugging?

    Like many of the accomplishment-free figures of the conservative pundit world, he looks like a total cockaholic – the lovespawn of Jeff Gannon and Ted Haggard.

  14. 14
    estamm says:

    The revolution will not be televised.

  15. 15
    jenniebee says:

    I can’t believe this, but I think I actually felt safer when my party was out of power and they were calling me a traitor.

  16. 16
    Dustin says:

    I wonder how brave these fools would really be if the US government decided they were actively fomenting a rebellion and not just venting out their ass. On second thought, I’d like nothing better than to see Hannity and this "honored guest" poster brought up on charges the moment some wingnut decides to take a potshot at a federal building. It’s not like the chances of such and attack are low; these guys are completely unhinged.

    Speaking of which, Hannity’s forum moderators might want to read up on the law regarding advocating sedition.

  17. 17
    lilly Von Schtupp says:

    I do not know about teh ghey (my gaydar sucks!), but it definetly seems a bit self-absorbed.

  18. 18
    Joshua Norton says:

    It will be an uprising of epic proportions.

    Or not.

    Also.

  19. 19
    cleek says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but does Sean Hannity’s site look a little gay?

    well, he does look like a young Nathan Lane.

  20. 20
    The Dangerman says:

    I say let them secede; when they find out that Red States were typically getting back more money from the Government than they paid in, well, I just hope they remember to give us a courtesy flush.

  21. 21
    Egilsson says:

    I hope someone is perserving that thread, because it’s like permanent innoculation against any stupid lefty blog thread where someone says something stupid that is singled out as proof that democrats are violent or traitors.

    It’s like an "I Win" button or something.

  22. 22
    4tehlulz says:

    Note that the question does not ask what the voter would actually do, just what is appealing; whoever wrote it realizes that the typical Hannity troll can’t be bothered to do that action thing and would rather let someone else do all the heavy lifting.

  23. 23
    Fwiffo says:

    Wow, DougJ, they just keep making your job harder, don’t they.

  24. 24
    gopher2b says:

    Stop and think about how great secession would be.

    Yeah, you know what I’m saying.

  25. 25
    gbear says:

    4. Mass suicide by cyanide Koolaid.

  26. 26
    b-psycho says:

    Is it just me, or does Hannity look like he was hittin some damn good ‘dro before they took that banner pic? How any human being can squint that hard otherwise is a mystery.

  27. 27
    Michael says:

    well, he does look like a young Nathan Lane.

    That calls for some photoshopping.

    "We can make more money with a flop than with a hit."

  28. 28
    Indylib says:

    If these asshats think "armed rebellion" will include the US military they are more fucking delusional than I thought they were, which is saying a lot because on a scale of 1 to 10 I already thought they had reached 644 or so.

  29. 29
    NonyNony says:

    @jenniebee:

    I can’t believe this, but I think I actually felt safer when my party was out of power and they were calling me a traitor.

    I can’t agree. It’s scary I’ll admit, but thankfully most of these guys are all talk. On the other hand, when their "team" was in power we got two wars that have led to hefty casualties and heftier numbers of wounded in exchange for nothing. On the whole, I’ll take the guys with the flapping gums over the wars.

    On the other hand – I bet it’s a pain in the ass to be working for the FBI these days. They have to be expecting another Oklahoma City attempt in the next few years. I hope they’re up for the challenge.

  30. 30
    gex says:

    What? No "Win At The Polls" option? I thought freedomdemocracy was on the march. Did it march on out of here?

  31. 31
    gbear says:

    5. Turn on, Tune in, Drop out.

    (did I get that right? If you can remember the 60’s, you weren’t there…)

  32. 32
    Zifnab says:

    Military Coup, Armed Rebellion, War of Secession? Aren’t these three terms for – functionally – the same damn thing?

    I would abso-fucking-lutely love to see the Cheetos brigades take to the streets in some serious fashion. Watching the right wing hordes line up and collectively shoot themselves in the feet (literally this time) would be too much fun to watch. You could definitely sell tickets.

  33. 33
    Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist says:

    Oooh – it’s up to 19 votes now!

    The floodgates of rebellion have truly been not only opened but demolished.

  34. 34
    bootlegger says:

    @Gravenstone: It is the textbook definition of sedition. Via Webster:
    sedition
    Conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state

  35. 35
    b-psycho says:

    @Michael: LOL at "Cockaholic"…nice one.

  36. 36
    Ash Can says:

    Oh yes. Excellent. Good job, Sean. Keep this insanity in the spotlight, constantly. The more publicity the better. Make moderate/casual conservatives realize just what it is that’s slithering past their ankles as they wade into the movement. Impress upon real centrists (as opposed to "center-rightists" (TM)) just what’s infesting the right wing these days. And keep the rest of us on our toes.

    And I mean it. If it helps us avoid another Oklahoma City, it’s well worth all the aggravation of having to see and hear this crap in the media.

  37. 37
    gbear says:

    6. Carrying pictures of Chairman Mao.

  38. 38
    camchuck says:

    From the (Hannity) comments:

    I’m actually surprised Sean allows threads like this to exist. Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans will be the rich fodder of the fringe elements who will demand the fairness doctrine, mark my words.

    I guess DougJ is now a "fringe element" for calling them out on murder and sedition fantasies.

  39. 39
    valdivia says:

    @Zifnab:

    don’t forget tomorrow is the beginning with the demonstrations in the streets coordinated by twitter.

  40. 40
    Zifnab says:

    Well organized band of revolutionaries can easily bring this country to its knees. Times are helluva allot different than it was 230 years ago. And most people been spoiled with today’s luxuries that your great great grandfathers didn’t have. Most people wouldn’t know how to live without electricity, or fuel. After couple of weeks people would be begging for this siege to stop.
    You have no idea just how vulnerable our infrastructure really is.

    Country First!

  41. 41
    Dustin says:

    Bloody hell. I’m trying to read that thread and in the time it takes to read a page they add one more… I can see this’ll be a long night. Might have to go get me some popcorn, it’s starting to get funny…

  42. 42
    Walker says:

    @Indylib:

    If these asshats think "armed rebellion" will include the US military they are more fucking delusional than I thought they were, which is saying a lot because on a scale of 1 to 10 I already thought they had reached 644 or so.

    Glenn Beck stated that the US military would fight against Obama, and "serve on the side of the Constitution", in his televised secessionist war games.

  43. 43
    Bill says:

    All thoughts of Hannity are revolting. So what’s new?

  44. 44
    SpotWeld says:

    I am more and more convinced that right-wingers are fantasy gamers who just have horribly damaged imaginations.

  45. 45
    Roger Moore says:

    @Egilsson:

    it’s like permanent innoculation against any stupid lefty blog thread where someone says something stupid that is singled out as proof that democrats are violent or traitors.

    You’re forgetting IOKIYAR. When a Democrat says something against a Republican, it’s treason. When a Republican plots a rebellion against a Democrat, they’re protecting our freedom.

  46. 46
    NonyNony says:

    @camchuck:

    Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans will be the rich fodder of the fringe elements who will demand the fairness doctrine, mark my words.

    WTF?

    Someone is talking about armed fucking insurrection against the United State of America and this guy is worried about the fucking fairness doctrine?

    What. The. Fuckity. Fucking. Fuckery. Fucktastic. Fuck. is wrong with these people?

  47. 47
    Delia says:

    I guess poisoning by cheetos takes too long and it mainly hits their own commandos.

  48. 48
    bootlegger says:

    At least the poster left this contradictory disclaimer:

    Yet it seems that the ultimate paradox in any rebellion for freedom from within is that the ultimate goal is to impose the will of the rebels on everyone else through force. It seems the very foundation of representative democracy is ****tered if we accept that we exchange the the power of ideas for the power of the sword upon each other.

    Nevertheless, I am still very interested in your own preferred form of revolt.

    Neverthelss, I am still very interested in whether or not Boehner was ever called Boner in high school.

  49. 49
    Michael says:

    Glenn Beck stated that the US military would fight against Obama, and "serve on the side of the Constitution", in his televised secessionist war games.

    Whenever I channel surf around Beck’s time, I have to make sure I’m not holding heavy objects. I’d hate to have to buy a new TV right now, and his sneering pasty face inspires me toward radical acts.

  50. 50
    bootlegger says:

    @camchuck: If you mean fringe on his leather jacket, I’m sure its true. Man I miss my jacket with the leather fringe.

  51. 51
    Michael says:

    Neverthelss, I am still very interested in whether or not Boehner was ever called Boner in high school.

    I’m guessing he’s wearing a thong, as he’d have gotten accustomed to daily wedgies.

  52. 52
    Zifnab says:

    @Michael: Shame how he was forced to pull out and retreat to the FOX Noise network. I was afraid CNN was going to escape the sucking black hole of liberalism that is John King, Lou Dobbs, and Scary Werewolf Man.

  53. 53
    EriktheRed says:

    I used to be a regular poster there. It’s gotten a lot closer to FreeRepublic in the last year and a half.

    Get a load of this thread, btw:

    http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t=1334471

  54. 54
    Keith says:

    Judging by the pics on Hannity’s site, he employs the same 4’2" cameraman who photographs Joe The Plumber for PJTV

  55. 55
    Joshua Norton says:

    Too bad “hold my breath until I turn blue”, wasn’t available. Anyway, expect the wingnertz to get lots worse before they have any hope of getting better.

    I’m hoping for #3 so that the rest of the country can go “’K – see ya,” leaving the neo-Confederates stunned that no one wants to play with them anymore.

  56. 56
  57. 57
    joeyess says:

    I also call Poe’s Law on that thread.

  58. 58
    jibeaux says:

    last I heard, armed insurrection was treason. So was a military coup.

    Only if the insurrection or coup fails.

    Now *that’s* a revealing little tete-a-tete.

  59. 59
    Captain Haddock says:

    I tremble before the might of the Level 11 Mages and their cohorts of chronic masterbators.

  60. 60
    bago says:

    Seriously, TWO full facials of Hannity on top of multiple forms of treason.

    The projection is so strong they can show Red Dawn repeatedly on the surface of the moon.

  61. 61
    Max says:

    Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but does Sean Hannity’s site look a little gay? The leaning silhoutte, the manly man mugging?

    I’ve said many times that Hannity has a face made for gay porn, and that it would be a far more dignified and honorable career than the one he has now.

  62. 62
    EriktheRed says:

    @Dustin:

    Speaking of which, Hannity’s forum moderators might want to read up on the law regarding advocating sedition.

    Hell, at least one of the moderators ( the one called Lee Kington) is one of the biggest fomenters of sedition on there. You think they give a shit???

    Well, they might if someone from "higher up" taps them on the shoulder…

  63. 63
    bootlegger says:

    @Walker: I watched some of that and he actually had "experts" on to explain why the military would follow the Red State Strike Force in their assault on the White House. Beck too denied that he was advocating this action, he just, you know, sayin’.

  64. 64
    EriktheRed says:

    @joeyess:

    But what?

    If you were trying to post a link it doesn’t look like it worked.

  65. 65
    bago says:

    @EriktheRed: Uhm…

    ‘Nah, there’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.’ – The Ace Man

    Apparently cancer and christianity have a 1:1 correlation?

    OK…

  66. 66
    bootlegger says:

    @EriktheRed: This comment says it all

    Sometimes rape is justifiable, says this observer.

  67. 67

    hey Sullivan, there’s your fucking 5th column!

    This needs to be shouted from the rooftops…er…desktops & laptops.

  68. 68
    Captain Haddock says:

    I love how the figureheads of this Heartland Revolt all live and work in New York City.

    Field Marshall Hannity will lead the revolution once he wraps up dinner at Nobu.

  69. 69
    debit says:

    @bootlegger

    Not as much as I miss my surrey with the fringe on the top.

  70. 70
    Gravenstone says:

    @bootlegger:

    @Gravenstone: It is the textbook definition of sedition. Via Webster:
    sedition
    Conduct or speech inciting people to rebel against the authority of a state

    My point, exactly.

    And to the clown poster from the Manitee’s site excerpted above – seriously, sedition doesn’t bother you, but the fact the dirty stinkin’ libs might use it against you does? Priorities, motherfucker! Do you have them?

  71. 71
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @camchuck:

    I guess DougJ is now a "fringe element" for calling them out on murder and sedition fantasies.

    Of course. It will be filed under liberal Hoi Polloi by these Great Americans/wingnuts

  72. 72
    jenniebee says:

    @valdivia: which threads? I want to watch!

    UPDATE: I couldn’t find the real threads, but I did find a Rockabilly Group and oh hey, a real thread! and it’s being offered up to Rick Santelli

    Update 2: awww… MNteaparty (https://twitter.com/mnteaparty) no tweets, 1 follower. That’s so pathetic, it’s kind of sweet.

  73. 73
    bootlegger says:

    @Gravenstone: Fortunately a handful of the posters in that 120+ and growing thread mention that this is sedition, and the guy that started the thread keeps saying "I was just wondering, I’m not serious", but the fact that Beck and now the Hannity Drones are fantasizing about it should give us all pause. I say bring ’em on. It would be too cool if we could just meet in the park with baseball bats and chains and get it on Outsiders style.

  74. 74
    John PM says:

    4. American – You know, the one that gave us the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

    I think I can make an argument that the poll and the various comments constitute Treason as set forth in the U.S. Constitution, and clearly these treasonous comments are being witnessed by more than two people. Thanks to warrantless wiring-taping, it should not take the Justice Department too long to find the posters of these treasonous comments.

    I am not joking. This is too much. I cannot be snarky about this, especially when this follows the Glenn Beck "special report" on whether the U.S. Army would support rebellion against the U.S. government. Do they think that Democrats and "liberals" would not fight back? Do they think that only "conservatives" own guns?

  75. 75

    I think we should let them "secede." We can stick them on Midway. That should appeal to their war-pr0n streak, and they don’t believe in global warming and MSL rise, so how do we lose?.

  76. 76

    @bootlegger: Once they say it, they can’t un-say it.

    Edit: nope, definitely Warriors style.

    Wingnuts! Come out and play!

  77. 77
    nylund says:

    But have they named the upcoming war yet? My money is on "The War of Liberal Aggression."

  78. 78
    Woodrowfan says:

    It would be too cool if we could just meet in the park with baseball bats and chains and get it on Outsiders style.

    C-PAC, come out andddd playyyyyyyy…

  79. 79
    Cyrus says:

    @bootlegger:

    It seems the very foundation of representative democracy is ****tered if we accept that we exchange the the power of ideas for the power of the sword upon each other.

    What is he bleeping out, there? What’s the missing word?

    Shuttered? But why censor that?

    Shittered? But that’s not a word! Neither is fucktered, pisstered or any other four-letter word that I can think of followed by "tered."

    Thoughts, anyone?

  80. 80

    I have got to stop checking this blog at work. Those sudden guffaws of laughter are so hard to explain.

    Love the way the poll is absolutely SWAMPED with replies. I suspect military coup is scoring lowest because the Damp Pants Brigade thinks it means they’d have to join the military.

  81. 81
    bootlegger says:

    @Cyrus: I had the same thought and damned if I can think of anything. "Shattered" seems to fit but why censor that unless their censor filter detects "shat" as the past tense of "shit".

  82. 82
    Tsulagi says:

    I like the question phrasing…

    What kind of revolution appeals most to you?

    Geez, with such appealing choices it’s hard to pick just one. Mmmmm, can I get a little secession with a side of armed rebellion to go?

  83. 83
    gwangung says:

    I am not joking. This is too much. I cannot be snarky about this, especially when this follows the Glenn Beck "special report" on whether the U.S. Army would support rebellion against the U.S. government. Do they think that Democrats and "liberals" would not fight back? Do they think that only "conservatives" own guns?

    Boy, are they in for a surprise…

  84. 84
    South of I-10 says:

    I really want to laugh at this, but I just can’t. The Democratic party has been in power for 37 days and these idiots are advocating sedition?

  85. 85
    El Cid says:

    Do y’all see why I’m not joking when I mention the nearly unstoppable attraction to treason, sedition, and harming Americans found among our neo-Confederate Republican party?

    Nobody, but nobody hates America and Americans like Republicans hate America and Americans.

  86. 86
    Zifnab says:

    @EriktheRed:

    Well, they might if someone from "higher up" taps them on the shoulder…

    WOLVERINES!

    Nothing says you’re ready to rock and roll like, "Oh shit, boss is coming! Minimize! Minimize! Delete! Delete!"

  87. 87
    Comrade Darkness says:

    What kind of choices are those? Where is: "attract alien invasion" and "racially targeted bio-agent"?

  88. 88
    jenniebee says:

    OK, for those of you who twitter, if you add #teaparty to your tweets, say the ones about really wanting a bagel or asking about home remedies for jock itch – whatever floats your boat, your comment will be added to the teaparty playaz main communication stream.

    Not that I would ever do such a thing, all day long tomorrow for instance, or anything like that.

    Cheers!

  89. 89
    Zifnab says:

    @gwangung: It’s obscenely stupid on its face. Who are the Red State Heroes going to rebel against? Their own state and local governments? Or are they all gonna hop in their Tahoes and drive from Tennessee to DC to bust a cap?

    You think Pawlenty, Schwartzenagger, Jindal, Palin, or Perry are going to embrace armed insurgency in their own states? Or is this a Red State uprising in backwater Pennsylvania and upstate New York? I mean, who do these people think they are going to be shooting at?

  90. 90
    scarshapedstar says:

    22 Davids and counting have joined this Army. Vive la Wingnut!

  91. 91
    EriktheRed says:

    @bootlegger:

    No, actually it wouldn’t. What would be cool, though, is to see them shit their pants when they see what it would really mean to get into armed rebellion.

    Remember how things went back in the Clinton-hating 90s? The fringe anti-government groups found out the hard way that you don’t get very far if the majority of the public doesn’t appreciate your efforts.

  92. 92
    gbear says:

    @Cyrus:

    hint: She-do-bee, S***tered, S***tered.

  93. 93
    Joshua Norton says:

    Who are the Red State Heroes going to rebel against?

    From what I’m seeing, it’s the batshit crazy wingnuts against the a-little-less-batshit-crazy wingnuts.

  94. 94
    EriktheRed says:

    @Cyrus:

    It seems the very foundation of representative democracy is ****tered if we accept that we exchange the the power of ideas for the power of the sword upon each other.

    They have a profanity filter on there and the word "shat" (because it’s the past tense of shit) is one of the words filtered. And it’s considered a violation if someone tries to put the word in anyway, even if it’s part of another, non-filtered word.

    IOW, the word is "shattered".

  95. 95
    GSD says:

    We must demand that Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck and Joe the Dickwad put their money where their big fat mouths are by making them generals in this new civil war.

    Suit ’em up and send them into the bluest of blue states and tell them to bring it on.

    -GSD

  96. 96
    DougJ says:

    And it’s considered a violation if someone tries to put the word in anyway, even if it’s part of another, non-filtered word.

    But it’s okay to suggest murdering fellow citizens? What world they live in!

  97. 97
    magisterludi says:

    Idle thought- can you imagine if that asshole in TN, who shot and killed the Unitarians because they were liberals or democrats, had opened fire in a Baptist church instead and blamed the GOP for his sad state of affairs?

    Just imagine.

  98. 98
    Comrade Dread says:

    I do not know about teh ghey (my gaydar sucks!), but it definetly seems a bit self-absorbed.

    It makes Stephen Colbert’s site look restrained.

    Most people wouldn’t know how to live without electricity, or fuel. After couple of weeks people would be begging for this siege to stop.

    No, not really. Despite the GOP’s perception of Democrats and Independents as a bunch of surrender monkeys, I (at least) would get pretty bitter and pissed off if the Red State Fuckwads started acting like a bunch of Al Qaeda and tried to disrupt my life.

    I’m no fan of government, but if you’ve put up with or spend all of your time cheerleading during the last eight years, and only now (now that your particular party is out of power) do you discover ‘limted government’ and respect of the Constitution, and advocate rebellion as a remedy, then you are not a principled man. You are not a patriot.

    You are an opportunistic cocksucker deserving of nothing but ridicule, scorn, and derision.

  99. 99
  100. 100
    jwb2005 says:

    What does it mean that so few of them seem willing to vote? It seems there are far more people writing replies to the thread than actually voting.

  101. 101
    Zifnab says:

    @magisterludi: They wouldn’t scream any louder. Hell, they’d probably have the guy on to replace Colmes.

  102. 102
    Indylib says:

    @Walker: Beck needs to check out the formal oath our military men and women swear to the Constitution. If the fucking idiot thinks they will join and insurrection against a legally elected CIC then he has never asked anyone in the actual military what their opinion is on this subject.

    I am so sick of these wingnutty fucknuts thinking that because they have the verbal wherewithal to say the phrase "support the troops" that they have any flippin clue what the military does, thinks or how it operates. One idiot active duty jackass says something that’s going to get his ass court martialed and these eejits extrapolate it to believing that the entire military establishment will support an armed insurrection.

    They are too fucking stupid to live.

  103. 103
    EriktheRed says:

    @DougJ:

    Yes, their priorities are indeed fucked up. Which makes the thought of them being relegated to the fringe even more of a relief.

  104. 104
    Comrade Dread says:

    What kind of choices are those? Where is: "attract alien invasion" and "racially targeted bio-agent"?

    "Raise undead horde."

    "Build robotic Terminator armies, but not the ones like Arnold, he’s a RINO. And not the hot chick. She’s a lesbian. Maybe Robert Patrick…"

  105. 105
    sidereal says:

    Hate to rain on the parade, but 1) it’s a poll created by a forum user, so it’s not Hannity or any representative thereof throwing it out there, and 2) the comment thread after it is actually pretty reasonable with an apparent plurality writing in ‘tax revolt’. I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP was a liberal trying to goad the forum regulars.

  106. 106
    NonyNony says:

    @Comrade Dread:

    Despite the GOP’s perception of Democrats and Independents as a bunch of surrender monkeys, I (at least) would get pretty bitter and pissed off if the Red State Fuckwads started acting like a bunch of Al Qaeda and tried to disrupt my life.

    Yeah, well, I’d actually like to see these Fuckwads attempt to live the "Al Qaeda lifestyle". It’s not like those guys living in caves at the edge of civilization have all of life’s amenities at their fingertips either. I imagine the Red State Revolutionaries would cave faster than the rest of this country once they realized that the only way they were going to stay out of government custody was by hiding in the mountains and living off squirrels and berries.

  107. 107
    bootlegger says:

    @EriktheRed: Of course, that’s actually what I meant. If they had to face off against actual people they’d shit their pants and run for home.

  108. 108
    bootlegger says:

    Check out this headline at Salon

    Is Karl Rove delusional?

    Or is he just a liar? What mental state allows someone to condemn the very tactics he pioneered and spent years exploiting?

    By Glenn Greenwald

    Glenzilla FTW!

  109. 109
    Mike in NC says:

    Nobody, but nobody hates America and Americans like Republicans hate America and Americans.

    Hey, you gotta go with what your good at…

  110. 110
    bootlegger says:

    @magisterludi: And may I point out, as a proud Unitarian, that the men jumped the shooter and beat him down while another dude shielded the children and took a bullet. At Virgina Tech a commie terrorist loving prof took a bullet to protect his students. Where were the Yellow Elephants and ROTC? Shitting their pants under their desks.

  111. 111
    bootlegger says:

    @magisterludi: And may I point out, as a proud Unitarian, that the men jumped the shooter and beat him down while another dude shielded the children and took a bullet. At Virgina Tech a commie terrorist loving prof took a bullet to protect his students. Where were the Yellow Elephants and ROTC? Shitting their pants under their desks.

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Leo says:

    @sidereal: There’s no doubt that armed rebellion is a minority position within the Republican party, and probably even in that thread. But there is some serious defense of these options in the thread as well. It’s a debate with people on both sides. And that is pretty fucking noteworthy if you ask me.

  114. 114
    Scott says:

    I imagine the Red State Revolutionaries would cave faster than the rest of this country once they realized that the only way they were going to stay out of government custody was by hiding in the mountains and living off squirrels and berries.

    Hell, I remember that loon whose post-inauguration hunger strike ended after three days when he got a craving for a Big Mac.

  115. 115

    […] Conservatives as Revolutionaries Posted on February 26, 2009 by torteya …whoddathunk? […]

  116. 116
    Polish the Guillotines says:

    Move over, Whiskey Rebellion: The Bud Lite(tm) Rebellion is in the hizzy.

  117. 117
    Joshua Norton says:

    There’s no doubt that armed rebellion is a minority position within the Republican party,

    I think it could be a large minority, though. That’s why it’s a safe haven for the gun loons who shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a loaded weapon. Ever. The pinky dinks in their wife beaters and baseball caps just love the bang-bang shoot’em up overt machismo of the whole concept.

  118. 118
    Cain says:

    @Michael:

    a total cockaholic – the lovespawn of Jeff Gannon and Ted Haggard.

    Bastard. Now I got to clean my monitor.

    cain

  119. 119
    Svensker says:

    @jenniebee:

    According to Sadly No, the Tea Party event in Pittsburgh has been canceled due to, wait for it….rain. Oh, the humanity! Do the Steelers know about this?

    Scene from the TeaPartyRevolution:

    Gen. Washington: "Are the men loaded in the boats, Sgt? We need to cross the Delaware swiftly under cover of night if we’re to succeed."

    Sergeant: "I’m sorry sir, but we aren’t loading the boats."

    Gen. Washington: "What! Why not! The battle for our Republic hangs in the balance! Get those men loaded!"

    Sergeant: "Well, sir, the weather chappie thinks it’s going to start raining and the men… Ummm, the rain kind of puts a damper on the morale, if you know what I mean, sir."

    Gen. Washington: "Rain, hmmm? Dash it." Pauses. "Right, sergeant, get the man tucked snuggly into their tents. The Republic will just have to hang on a little longer. Gosh, some hot tea would hit the spot right now. Ha! None of that now, of course. Guess I’ll just have to settle for a bowl of piping hot Philadelphia Pepperpot Soup. See to it, sergeant, if you don’t mind."

    All exit, stage left.

  120. 120

    […] the racists who don’t really think Africans can be Americans doesn’t hurt, either.   Some are riled enough to talk up secession, armed rebellion and the like. After all the damn kill-the-socialist stuff last fall, I’m only partly […]

  121. 121
    JGabriel says:

    @EriktheRed:

    They have a profanity filter on there [Hannity.com] and the word "shat" (because it’s the past tense of shit) is one of the words filtered.

    So … they’re gonna lead a Glorius Armed Rebellion against the Commie Liberals, but none of the soldiers can say "shit" or "fuck"?

    That’s just all kinds of awesome.

    .

  122. 122
    Jay in Oregon says:

    @John PM:

    Do they think that Democrats and "liberals" would not fight back? Do they think that only "conservatives" own guns?

    Yes. SATSQ.

  123. 123
    TenguPhule says:

    This cannot be parodied.

    This is Balloon Juice.

    We parody EVERYTHING.

  124. 124
    Tonal Crow says:

    They forgot to include (4) Drinking plutonium Kool-Aide and jerking off in mom’s basement to reruns of "24", then choosing one of (1)-(3).

  125. 125
    celticdragon says:

    There’s no doubt that armed rebellion is a minority position within the Republican party, and probably even in that thread. But there is some serious defense of these options in the thread as well. It’s a debate with people on both sides. And that is pretty fucking noteworthy if you ask me.

    I agree. I hope the FBI is ready for the next wave of shootings in Democratic Party HQ’s and bombings of federal buildings.

  126. 126
    Joshua Norton says:

    Do they think that only "conservatives" own guns?

    Well, the first armed wingnut whacko to come through my door is in for a rude surprise. I may be progressive, but I’m not suicidal.

  127. 127
    John PM says:

    @sidereal: #106

    Hate to rain on the parade, but 1) it’s a poll created by a forum user, so it’s not Hannity or any representative thereof throwing it out there, and 2) the comment thread after it is actually pretty reasonable with an apparent plurality writing in ‘tax revolt’.

    1) Yes, but you know that if something similar appeared on Daily Kos or some other liberal site, even if not authored by the site owners, Hannity, Beck and O’Reilly would be all over the site calling them America-haters. Indeed, IIRC, this happened at least once during the presidential campaign where O’Reilly took a comment from thousands to a post and claimed that the entire site hated America, were commie pinkos, etc., etc., ad naseum. If I were Hannity’s lawyer (and you could not pay me enough to do that), I would advise him to remove that poll post haste and warn people not not post any other shit like that. I would actually use the word shit in my memo to him, after I hit him over the head with a legal dictionary several times.

    2) So tax revolt is better than armed revolution? The Colonials during the Boston Tea Party destroyed property in order to protest taxation without representation. A tax revolt would very likely lead to some kind of armed standoff, so people advocating a tax revolt still appear to be advocating violence against the federal government. Also, what are they going to protest, the largest f-cking tax cut in American history? Assholes.

  128. 128
    Left Coast Tom says:

    @ErikTheRed

    You mean the Cheetos Brigade can select their sedition choice from a menu but they can’t type swear words? This should be funny.

  129. 129
    John PM says:

    @Jay in Oregon: #123

    Yes. SATSQ.

    Sorry, I am revealing my ignorance. What is SATSQ?

  130. 130
    Cain says:

    @John PM:

    Sorry, I am revealing my ignorance. What is SATSQ?

    Simple Answers to Simple Questions

    cain

  131. 131

    Granted Balloon Juice can parody anything, but it’s still only very darkly funny, as all those people are allowed to own guns. I personally think that’s just a risk we have to run as a free society, and besides the quickest way to get these guys to run amok IS to try and take their guns away- but the prospect of them randomly going on a psycho spree and hurting somebody ain’t that funny.

    Funny would be them shooting themselves in the foot- not shooting some innocent bystander or hapless government clerk. That’s not funny, that’s just bullshit, and that’s more or less the best we can hope for as a worst case scenario.

    We do have a society, of sorts. Randomly shooting Democrats is not considered part of a First World political process.

  132. 132
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @nylund:

    But have they named the upcoming war yet? My money is on "The War of Liberal Aggression."

    This comment is made of 100 percent win.

  133. 133
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Fuck John! I scrolled down the front page and damn near punched my laptop screen when I saw InsHannity. I know you put stuff up like that but seeing his fugly mug on BJ was still a shock. The actual content of the page is not surprising at all given the tone that wingnutz are adopting.

    Sadly, I fully expect some unhinged wingnut to go berserk and kill in the name of their cause now that the wingnutz have been marginalized. Shit like this will only encourage some nutjob to act on their own and become a martyr. Of course, as usual people like InsHannity will deny any part in encouraging these nuts but I have a feeling that they really hope shit will happen.

    As said above, nobody, but NOBODY, hates America and Americans like the Rushublican party hates America and Americans. Absolutely.

    Fuck! Matthews just went off on Issa about his referring to the Democratic party the "Democrat party". Chris called him on the pettiness of that shit and asked him to stop it and save it for the stump. Then he cut Issa off in responding and said ‘let me go to Barney Frank for some English’.

    Fuck yes! Call them on this childish shit with name calling.

  134. 134
    Ash Can says:

    @sidereal:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if the OP was a liberal fed spook trying to goad troll for crazies among the forum regulars.

    Change I can believe in.

  135. 135
    Origuy says:

    I’m thinking that if any of those idiots are planning a stupid and pointless action, they’ll do it on April 12, the anniversary of the day Confederate batteries opened fire on Fort Sumter. Of course, they won’t actually do it at Fort Sumter; you need to take a boat to get there and they probably would get seasick.

  136. 136
    Steve V says:

    @celticdragon:
    What gets me about this is that it is ONLY OBVIOUS to anyone who lived through the 1990s that the crazier righty elements will soon be cooking up violent plots (if they aren’t already). In fact, given Obama’s race, his policy ambitions, and the vicious right wing demonology that has so quickly developed around him (he isn’t really American!), the powderkeg out there is if anything much more primed for violence than it was in the 1990s. But the "leaders" of the right, be it Hannity or Limbaugh or their online equivalents, or even their most closely allied politicians — all of whom know full well what they’re playing with — are all but coming out and cheering it on!

  137. 137
    gil mann says:

    Criminy, a 100-plus comment thread about the GOP twitterevolutionaries with a bunch of "The Warriors" references and nobody makes the obvious joke?

    Fine. I’ll do it.

    Can you Digg it?!

  138. 138
    Will says:

    Where’s the "assassination fantasy" thread?

  139. 139
    delosgatos says:

    I’m actually surprised Sean allows threads like this to exist. Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans will be the rich fodder of the fringe elements who will demand the fairness doctrine, mark my words.

    So… "Talk of sedition and murdering fellow Americans" is mainstream, and only fringe elements would find it troubling?

    Strange brew. Peak wingnut, indeed.

  140. 140
    celticdragon says:

    What gets me about this is that it is ONLY OBVIOUS to anyone who lived through the 1990s that the crazier righty elements will soon be cooking up violent plots (if they aren’t already).

    Sadly, I have no doubt that some of the wackos are already jerking off to the prospect of "saving" America with the Red State Strike Force in some sort of Beer Hall Putsch.

  141. 141
    Polish the Guillotines says:

    @celticdragon:

    Sadly, I have no doubt that some of the wackos are already jerking off to the prospect of "saving" America with the Red State Strike Force in some sort of Beer Hall Strip Club Putsch.

    Edited for greater accuracy.

  142. 142
    Ella in NM says:

    @EriktheRed:

    They have a profanity filter on there and the word "shat" (because it’s the past tense of shit) is one of the words filtered.

    OMG it is "shat-"!!!!

    Hahahhahahahahhahhhahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Help me get up off the floor now please……

  143. 143
    Xanthippas says:

    Stop and think about how great secession would be.
    Yeah, you know what I’m saying.

    Is there a possibility that maybe this time, we could force them out of the Union?

  144. 144
    binzinerator says:

    @Zifnab:

    I mean, who do these people think they are going to be shooting at?

    Oh, I’d say maybe people perceived to be liberals, especially ones found in churches? Since a wingnut foamer of that target audience has already gone and done exactly that…

  145. 145
  146. 146
    Hob says:

    My money’s on secession, based on the number of respondents. I mean, it takes way more than 3 guys for a military coup, and 8 guys will generally be outnumbered an armed rebellion (unless they’re rebelling against their moms). But 7 guys could totally secede, any time. They may have already done it.

  147. 147
    binzinerator says:

    @binzinerator:

    Since a wingnut foamer of that target audience

    that target audience = Hannity’s audience.

    Sorry, confusing choice of words. The Hannity-style rightwing dirtbag targeted liberals specifically in his terrorist attack.

  148. 148
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Olbermann will be covering this, tune in!

  149. 149
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Hannity won the WPITW award for today…lol! BillO will have to settle for second place with Dennis Miller and some other wingnut.

  150. 150
    JWW says:

    The only legal secession would be the State of Texas. They still have that right under law.

    They may also have certain advantages to do so. They would not ever think such a thing because, their honor to this nation is the same as the heartland and the southern states.

    Being the western coastal states and northeast coastal states now dictate, the heartland and Texas will bide their time.

    They will wait for all of you fools to grow old and collect all the bennies you can.

    It is so sorry because there is a chance one of you may be in the top 10% of income earners. When that happens, send me a picture of your smile….

  151. 151
    bayville says:

    If this is how the crazies are acting after 37 days of the Obama administration, imagine what the hyperbole will be in 6 months?

  152. 152

    Where’s the choice "One in which we line up all right-wing religious nut-jobs and shoot them"…I’d vote for that.

  153. 153
  154. 154
  155. 155
    John Cole says:

    Hannity won the WPITW award for today…lol! BillO will have to settle for second place with Dennis Miller and some other wingnut.

    That is kind of silly. Hannity probably has no clue what these idiots are doing on that forum. It is nutpicking at its best. The only reason Doug probably posted it is because of the three options, which included secession. Hence the “you can’t parody these guys” remark.

    Hannity is a jackass, but you can’t fault him for those idiots. That is like blaming Kos for every idiotic diary or the Obama campaign for stupid shit people wrote there.

  156. 156
    JWW says:

    bayville,

    Add up the credit card bills in 37 days and those already proposed to be spent in the near future. The counrty will soon be a home owner defaulting on a loan, only that loan will be owned by another country.

    It’s not easy for an illitarate to understand(you). We are currently writing checks we can’t cover. We can print all the bills we want, but if the bill says $100.00 and it is worth only $25.00, Guido will work out the remainder.

  157. 157
    SLKRR says:

    @JWW:

    The only legal secession would be the State of Texas. They still have that right under law.

    Oops. I guess somebody forgot to tell Abe Lincoln about that…

    Hell, not only should Texas secession be legal, it should be mandatory.

  158. 158
    JWW says:

    John,

    You are alive, I had this strange feeling somebody was filling in for you.

    If I were to offend you, would I be banned again. Please guide me. I beg of you, show me mercy.

    By the way can you help me with a little cash, maybe a card I can swipe for the bare essentials, maybe(a new car, beer, personal trainer).

  159. 159
    JWW says:

    SLKRR,

    I guess you are a scholar, though not a good one.

    When you let go of your ass cheeks, find a book to read. Maybe you should start with "See Spot Run".

    It is a lack of words in the Texas Constitution that allows them to be the best stewards of the state.

  160. 160
    Chi-city says:

    I really can’t stand the smugness, intentional stupidity, and arrogance of Hannity. I am sure he would say the same for me. I hope my politics are one of inclusion, while I feel like his are one of lining his pockets. I am not sure what credentials he has but the IGA needs their bagger back.

  161. 161
    Comrade Kevin says:

    @John Cole:

    Hannity is a jackass, but you can’t fault him for those idiots. That is like blaming Kos for every idiotic diary or the Obama campaign for stupid shit people wrote there.

    That was the actual point of Olbermann’s putting it on the list. He specifically mentioned that.

  162. 162
    TenguPhule says:

    We are currently writing checks we can’t cover.

    We’ve been doing that since Ronald may his soul be shit out of demons forever Reagan.

    The difference is, this time we’re actually back on the payment plan to pay that outstanding debt down.

  163. 163
    DougJ says:

    The only reason Doug probably posted it is because of the three options, which included secession.

    Actually it was the coup that caught my eye.

  164. 164
    bootlegger says:

    @John Cole: Probably not, but Bill-O and the rest of Faux News (I can’t pin Vannity specifically) did call Kos a "hate-site" because of a few kook posters, not diarists or front pagers, just posters. We’ll see if Bill-O says the same about Vannity’s fans or Stormtrooper Beck. Bill-O claimed he would delete such things from his website, which is interesting for a self-styled Champion of the Constitution.

  165. 165
    bcwbcw says:

    Given Hannity’s economic views the last should be
    "war for recession"

  166. 166
    Radio One says:

    You know, I really do want to see an opposition party emerge from this. I really do. I don’t want a one party system governing our country. I want to see a Republican party that can raise legitimate complaints against this administration.

    Americans deserve a decent opposition party. What the Republican party is offering right now is pure shit.

  167. 167
    Rome Again says:

    @John Cole:

    Sounds like Hannity is too busy to moderate his own forum (which is his forum, since it has his name on it).

    If a diary on Kos went up during the Bush administration that called for such, and it wasn’t snark (and perhaps even if it was), it would have been pulled.

  168. 168
    Rome Again says:

    @Radio One:

    Who says it has to be Republicans?

    Another opposition party will arise after the Republican party is left in the ashes.

  169. 169
  170. 170
    Egilsson says:

    John, it’s the hypocrisy, again.

    O’Reilly and Hannity have repeatedly gone after Kos and HuffingtonPost for poster comments – not even editor diaries.

    This is way beyond that. We have a thread talking about treason and coups and armed rebellion, and it’s still there.

    Where are O’Reilly and Hannity now?

    It’s worth highlighting this over and over, because they just gutted one of their own stupid talking points. I don’t expect it from them, but I’d love to this filter out more.

    I agree that you are not responsible for the stupid comments I or other posters may make, but if you were to argue that other websites have that requirement, then it would apply here after all.

    I said at early in this thread, they have now just innoculated all lefty blogs from criticism based on some stupid poster comment.

    That’s actually significant.

  171. 171
    MH says:

    @JWW:

    It’s not easy for an illitarate to understand(you).

    Ho ho ho! Good one, rightwing-impersonator, but I know it’s you! Come out from hiding!

  172. 172
    Teebob2000 says:

    @Carnacki: The leaning silhoutte

    THAT’S where I recognize that from: he looks like a creepy dude at teh adult bookstore who hangs around in the back, in the dark, by the video booths, giving his best come-hither gestures.

    Or so I’d imagine it to be…

  173. 173
    rapido says:

    Since people of different political persuasions are literally intermixed throughout the land, it would require things like killing your own neighbor if they disagree with you politically. While that could certainly work in terms of winning power, it would seem to contradict a lot of constitutional principles, which would presumably be the whole point of such a rebellion to begin with.

    some very ethereal, constitutional law thinking going on over there. glennzilla needs to weigh in on this.

  174. 174
    billy bob says:

    Lets all move to Arkansas and create our own country! Call it Freedomland! viva la revolution!

  175. 175
    Kevin says:

    "I’m no fan of government, but if you’ve put up with or spend all of your time cheerleading during the last eight years, and only now (now that your particular party is out of power) do you discover ‘limted government’ and respect of the Constitution, and advocate rebellion as a remedy, then you are not a principled man. You are not a patriot.

    You are an opportunistic cocksucker deserving of nothing but ridicule, scorn, and derision."

    Beautifully put.

  176. 176
    Jeff says:

    As of this writing, "Armed Rebellion" is ahead with 40%; less than one in four support a military coup. The rest (about 36%) support a war for secession. (85 votes total)

  177. 177
    Donald says:

    Sean Vannity has now flushed that embarrassing bit of truth down the memory-hole

  178. 178
    jonnybullet says:

    Sean, you’re a right wing boilerplate talking point automaton tuned into the doofus network. What you are allowing is and or implying is subterfuge, treason, anarchy along with unpatriotic rhetoric. You are a fool, a hypocrite and a shameless self righteous pampas jackass self promoter who’s intellectual wattage couldn’t power a fire flies ass. You need to sit down and shut up and stop trying to start an insurrection before you cross the line, actually you did that already. What would you have said if Olbermann had mentioned that about Bush’s administration 2 yrs ago? Well we all know the answer to that don’t we Mr stooge.

  179. 179
    disappointed says:

    what a bunch of statist idiots – falling for the Hannity, neocon domcrats vs republicans, conservatives vs liberals – us vs them bullsh!t

    The government regardless of republican or democrat crontrolled is stealing the country blind, selling you into slavery and telling you they are "saving" you the whole time and you believe it.

    Hannity is a tool and so is huffington, Obama hasnt provided more freedom or backed off on the war stance of Bush in anyway, in fact its really hard to tell the difference between Obama and Bush except in the area of overly reactinary religious BS like stemcells.

    But in the end you are just as abused, controlled and enslaved by the pretend black man in the presidency today as you were by the pretend texas redneck who just went home. The only difference is a the group whos drinking the koolaid today is liberals instead of neocons.

  180. 180
    Farsider says:

    People disregard cable/talk show talkers like Sean Haircut at their own peril. You make think his blusterings that of a simple buffoon, but like it or not, Sean Haircut has a lot of influence with his audience. Somebody out there is liable to hurt somebody because this man’s influence. It’s time to start working on sponsors of his program.

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] the racists who don’t really think Africans can be Americans doesn’t hurt, either.   Some are riled enough to talk up secession, armed rebellion and the like. After all the damn kill-the-socialist stuff last fall, I’m only partly […]

  2. […] Conservatives as Revolutionaries Posted on February 26, 2009 by torteya …whoddathunk? […]

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