What if?

Sorry but I have to indulge my WaPo chat fixation again today:


Washingotn, D.C
.: Tonight, Obama will no doubt say he inherited this mess, not his fault, etc. What would have happened if Bush, after 9/11, got up there and said. We need to understand this was Bill Clinton’s fault for gutting our intelligence agencies in the mid 90s, being attacked three times and doing nothing and refusing to take bin Laden when Sudan offered him in the 90s. How do you think that would go over?

With such a hypothetical question, it’s really hard to say how that might have gone over, right?

Update: I googled “Bush blamed Clinton for 9/11” and here’s the first thing that came up:

“They looked at our response after the hostage crisis in Iran, the bombings of the Marine barracks in Lebanon, the first World Trade Center attack, the killing of American soldiers in Somalia, the destruction of two U.S. embassies in Africa, and the attack on the USS Cole. They concluded that free societies lacked the courage and character to defend themselves against a determined enemy… After September the 11th, 2001, we’ve taught the terrorists a very different lesson: America will not run in defeat and we will not forget our responsibilities.”






113 replies
  1. 1
    John Cole says:

    That would be a great question if 9/11 occurred in 2000, before Bush took office.

    Idiots.

  2. 2
    flounder says:

    I think the fact that "Washington" is misspelled indicates that Doug Feith wrote the question.

  3. 3
    amorphous says:

    ohwow

  4. 4
    bootlegger says:

    Also, lets not forget that the Bush Republicans did their level-best to put the blame on Clinton anyway. W never once took responsibility for it.

  5. 5
    DougJ says:

    That would be a great question if 9/11 occurred in 2000, before Bush took office.

    It still would be a bad question because that is exactly what Bush did (albeit at times through surrogates).

  6. 6
    bago says:

    Doing nothing like "Wagging the dog".

  7. 7
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    What would have happened if GWB had said that? He would have been branded a liar even earlier than he was.

    SASQ

  8. 8
    bud says:

    Bin Laden determined to strike US

    Need more be said? Fucking WaPo pricks.

  9. 9
    TR says:

    At least the Post guy swatted that one down.

    Were you the New York, NY question?

  10. 10
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Tonight, Obama will no doubt say he inherited this mess, not his fault, etc.

    I’d take the other side of that bet.

  11. 11
    Captain Haddock says:

    I think Obama is going to produce documents showing Nigeria was selling Yellowcake to AIG. Bet on it.

  12. 12
    wilfred says:

    Speaking of intelligence, common sense, reason and being sincere, among other things, I wonder if anyone will ask Obama why he thinks that of all the people available for what is, after all, a critical post, he has acquiesced to the appointment of Dennis Ross as Special Envoy to the Persian Gulf.

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) – U.S. foreign policy veteran Dennis Ross has been appointed special advisor to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on the Gulf region, including Iran, and southwest Asia, the State Department announced on Monday.

    The news reader on Press TV giggled when he read the announcement. This is Obama’s way of saying to certain parties: "Don’t worry about what I say – look at what I do".

    Another shitheel hypocrite.

  13. 13
    DougJ says:

    Were you the New York, NY question?

    No. I asked a similar question but it didn’t get through.

  14. 14
    Dave says:

    Tonight, Obama will no doubt say he inherited this mess…

    How crazy is that? Who cares if it is true?
     
    You’ll also notice that Bush didn’t blame only Clinton. He threw Carter and Reagan under the bus as well. Still can’t change the fact that the dipshit was running the show when 9/11 happened.

  15. 15
    SnarkIntern says:

    @Quaker in a Basement: Well, maybe or maybe not. He said it as recently as yesterday, and expounded on it too.

    I have no problem with him reminding the audience that he was handed a shitpile on Jan 20 and that he is working as rapidly as possible to make things better. That’s the reality and I think most people understand that, if his approval ratings are any indication … which I think they are.

    As for the Bush thing … that responsibility dodge is exactly what they did when Richard Clarke’s book came out.

    My favorite line from that time was Condi Rice’s "he wasn’t in the loop" in reference to Clarke and the Bush White House. Amazing. Their terrorism guy wasn’t in the loop.

    Not.In.The.Loop. Just savor it.

  16. 16
    flounder says:

    N.Y., N.Y. asks why the media is pushing the Republican stimulus meme instead of reality.
    Pershing responds that it is because "Hill Republicans are primarily playing to their base voters right now".
    Doesn’t get more cut and dried than that.

  17. 17
    Carnacki says:

    President Obama should have solved this economic crisis in November 2007 and the fact his administration has done so little until January of this year to work on it is proof that he’s a communist atheist Mooslim born in the Czech Republic.

  18. 18
    Will Danz says:

    I’ll give the WaPo chat guy a bit of credit for his answer to the drooling Republitard’s Q:

    Ben Pershing: I’m actually not sure that Obama will say anything like that tonight, even if he believes it. He’s only been in office for a month, but I imagine voters still don’t want to hear him blame Bush or anyone else for our economic problems. They’d rather hear Obama say he wants to fix it.

    As for 9/11, Bush himself may not have said it was Clinton’s fault, but plenty of other people in the Bush administration definitely did try to spread that storyline.

    cite="">

    I will add:

    1) Cheney and his sidekick Bush were in office for EIGHT months by the time 9/11 happened. Obama is just at one month now.

    2) Cheney and his sidekick Bush specifically ignored all the excellent advice they got on terrorism, including the famous "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in U.S." PDB. Bush saw that and decided to give his lazy ass a six-week vacation.

    They are fucking SHAMELESS. Any time you deal with a Repub, you have to remember that. They will lie about ANYTHING, any time, and not feel the tiniest bit of conscience. Fucking sociopaths.

  19. 19
    Martin says:

    Does Obama say that he inherited the mess, or does he say that he inherited the deficit? I can only recall him saying the latter.

    Other people freely say that Obama inherited the mess, but I don’t recall Obama ever saying that himself.

    Quibble…

  20. 20
    Dave says:

    @wilfred:

    Why? Because he is Jewish?

  21. 21
    bootlegger says:

    @wilfred: Ok, I’ll bite. What’s wrong with Ross? Is he too much of a peacenik?

  22. 22
    Will Danz says:

    Damn, I screwed up the formatting in my comment above, # 18.

    THIS was the important part:

    "As for 9/11, Bush himself may not have said it was Clinton’s fault, but plenty of other people in the Bush administration definitely did try to spread that storyline."

  23. 23
    DougJ says:

    @WD

    I give him credit for that too.

  24. 24
    Will Danz says:

    Well @wilfred, tHIS proves your case brilliantly:

    The news reader on Press TV giggled when he read the announcement.

    Fucking brilliant argument.

  25. 25
    passerby says:

    Of all the bloggers WaPo could have hired to write political commentary, they went with this man, a man with idiotic views. Really, his stupidity is on display. I’m almost embarrassed for him.

    Whose doing the hiring? After reading his post, the only thing I can conclude is that WaPo has no interest in intelligent debate. What a rag.

    And to think large publications have, of late, been beating the drums of pay to view on-line, would they find enough people to pay for this crap?

    They deserve to go belly up.

  26. 26
    demkat620 says:

    Well, Ken Vogel of the Politico was on MSNBC yesterday saying it was disingenuous of Obama to say he inherited a deficit.
    So the stupid is not limited to the WAPO.

  27. 27
    Comrade Darkness says:

    There is an even better parallel. Bushco blamed the March 2001 recession squarely on Clinton. When that didn’t stick (rightly or wrongly) they widely blamed 9/11 for the recession, despite the six month lag. Retroactively retelling history, something we should have taken as a precursor of widespread retellings to come. I’ve seen that recession mis-attributed to September more often than correctly attributed to March, even now, even if it’s easier to pin on Clinton marking it correctly.

    I remember those months, Bush was taking a beating in the polls. 9/11 bailed his ass out of the political fire on that point.

    Our current recession/depression is 15 months old. 15. December 2007 is the start date: http://wwwdev.nber.org/cycles/dec2008.html

  28. 28
    Ash Can says:

    Sorry but…

    Sorry, nothing. Kudos to you for getting in there and asking tough questions. Keep up the great work.

  29. 29
    norbizness says:

    The Politico calling someone or something disingenuous should have created an irony singularity, at the very least.

  30. 30
    The Other Steve says:

    I was reading some of those answers, and to be fair Ben Pershing answers seems to be more in touch with reality than many of the WashPost idiots.

  31. 31

    OT: This Village Voice blog has a hilarious take down of the poorly attended Tea Party protests and the ostensible lack of organizing skills on the right. The last graf is a gem:

    Meanwhile in Dublin, Ireland, about 100,000 people protested the state of their nation’s economy. The event was organized by trade unions.

    Ouch!

  32. 32
    bootlegger says:

    @The Grand Panjandrum: Those are some pitiful crowds. I went to anti-war rally in Auburn, Alabama that was better attended than the tea-bagger protest in Seattle.

  33. 33
    El Cid says:

    Sudan never offered bin Laden. Another typical Republican pile of shit.

    Again, Republicans give Osama bin Laden everything he ever wants, and then they blame Democrats for it all.

  34. 34
    Jay B. says:

    These are the same asshats who blame Janet Reno for Ruby Ridge, even though it happened entirely during the Bush I regime (naturally, Waco’s horrific finale happened under Reno and there were major problems, but, of course she inherited the case from the Bushies. And when it ended in tragedy, she took full responsibility for it, which even if all she did was speak the words was more than GW ever did in his life).

    They are asshole sociopaths whose willful ignorance seems perfectly tailored to con men — the real tragedy is that our media voices are largely complicit in the deceit. It’s jaw-dropping.

  35. 35
    Jon H says:

    "they widely blamed 9/11 for the recession, despite the six month lag. "

    For what it’s worth, I was in Chicago, unemployed, starting in March of 2001. I had a few interviews over the summer, but everything dried up after 9/11. The job market, at least, contracted quite a bit at that point, so I suspect companies were also cutting other forms of spending.

    9/11 didn’t cause the recession, but it and the resulting uncertainty certainly didn’t help.

  36. 36
    TR says:

    The Politico calling someone or something disingenuous should have created an irony singularity, at the very least.

    Shit, that should have made the universe fold back on itself.

  37. 37
    D.N. Nation says:

    Tonight, Obama will no doubt say he inherited this mess, not his fault, etc.

    Ridiculous on its face, of course, but even more so because Obama probably won’t even say something like this.

  38. 38
    scarshapedstar says:

    Never forget 9/Clinton/Pelosi/Reid/Obama/Dodd/Feingold/Daschle/Sheehan/Beauchamp/11.

    Also: tax cuts.

  39. 39
    Atanarjuat says:

    Of course President Barack Obama would not say anything so blunt as to directly blame the bad economy on the previous administration. He didn’t get as far as he did by saying what’s really on his mind, but by telling people what they want to hear. That’s just basic Slick Politician 101.

    In fact, with his used car salesman charm and appeal, I very much trust that Obama will sell us yet another bill of goods, pass the buck in a very sly way, and leave a lot of gullible folk believing that Obama somehow did them a big favor.

    Sort of like this:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3cib.....Deluxe.jpg

    -A

  40. 40
    SnarkIntern says:

    Of course President Barack Obama would not say anything so blunt as to directly blame the bad economy on the previous administration.

    Actually he would, and has, as recently as yesterday.

    Multiple times in multiple ways.

    Try to do a better of job of spamming with spoofy horseshit, guy. Really. Your work is crap.

  41. 41
    Mnemosyne says:

    Actually he would, and has, as recently as yesterday.

    Um, yes, that’s the point. Or did you miss the 7 years of Republicans screaming about how 9/11 was all Bill Clinton’s fault?

  42. 42
    Atanarjuat says:

    @SnarkIntern:

    Of course President Barack Obama would not say anything so blunt as to directly blame the bad economy on the previous administration.

    Actually he would, and has, as recently as yesterday.
    Multiple times in multiple ways.

    A legitimate citation is needed. It should be easy for you — because there are "multiple" instances, right?

    And no, infantile mewling about spoofs is not evidence.

    Thanks!

    -A

  43. 43
    Zifnab says:

    Tonight, Obama will no doubt say he inherited this mess, not his fault, etc take all the blame for this mess, confess to engineering the entire economic collapse, and resign from the Presidency in disgrace.

    It’s what a Republican would have done.

  44. 44
    Zifnab says:

    In fact, with his used car salesman charm and appeal, I very much trust that Obama will sell us yet another bill of goods, pass the buck in a very sly way, and leave a lot of gullible folk believing that Obama somehow did them a big favor.

    So you’re saying he’s the kind of guy you’d like to have a beer with?

  45. 45
    Cris says:

    A legitimate citation is needed.

    Oh, that’s rich coming from you.

  46. 46
    bootlegger says:

    @Atanarjuat: Well if anyone would know a slick politician when they see one, it is Attanut and the rest of the hive dwellers. Though I suppose the Republican’s lemming-like march into irrelevancy is not so much slick, as sick.
    Oh, and in the Bush Depression a used car is far better than a new one.

  47. 47
    John S. says:

    In fact, with his used car salesman charm and appeal, I very much trust that Bush Obama will sell us yet another bill of goods, pass the buck in a very sly way, and leave a lot of gullible folk believing that Bush Obama somehow did them a big favor.

    Will no one rid us of this tiresome troll?

    Look, if you’re going to waste your time – and ours – at least bring your ‘A’ game. But if all you’re going to do is look back through the Balloon Juice archives and take legitimate complaints about Bush and play political mad-libs with them by substituting Obama/Democrats/liberals, spare us the effort.

    All you’re producing is nonsense, and not even original, truly batshit insane (but highly entertaining) rantings of the Brick Oven Bill variety.

  48. 48
    Atanarjuat says:

    @John S.:

    Johnny, if my views waste your time and leave you so fatigued, why read them?

    -A

  49. 49
    J Royce says:

    The Cons seem to believe that if they deny and pretend that they will not be responsible for what they did. We will see.

    On the plus side, this amazing Con ‘who-me?’ act has damaged the reputation of denialists of all sorts, such as the deniers of the Holocaust or HIV’s-link-to-Aids. It’s all an agenda, hey boys?

    Country First. That means ignoring the Cons and their games.

  50. 50
    John S. says:

    Johnny, if my views waste your time and leave you so fatigued, why read them?

    Because my pie filter is broken.

    I mean, is it too much to ask that if you are going to sling bullshit that you at least make it AMUSING bullshit?

    I think it’s a reasonable request to ask the resident fool to actually entertain us.

  51. 51
    SnarkIntern says:

    @Atanarjuat:

    Fuck you.

    Look it up yourself. The man was on tv all day yesterday, and most of last week. I’m not doing your work for you.

    Try to keep up.

    In fact, about half the presidential campaign was about the ‘failed economic polices of the last eight years.’

    You might recognize that phrase, its one he’s used about two dozen times in the last two or three weeks.

    What do you think he is referring to when he speaks of inheriting a gigantic deficit and a financial system on the brink of collapse? The tooth fairy?

    George Bush snickered at leaving a shitpile "for the next president" to deal with. Alrighty then, we are dealing with it. So sit down and shut up.

  52. 52
    SnarkIntern says:

    if my views waste your time and leave you so fatigued

    Always flattering yourself. Such a fuckhead.

  53. 53

    Rush Limbaugh is comparing Obama’s ‘break-out groups’ leadership from yesterday to that of a college professor. Does Rush Limbaugh read Balloon Juice?

    There are four fattened squirrels I have attracted over time, that are playing in my back yard. I will now live-blog my giving them a cracker.

  54. 54
    John Cole says:

    Atanarjuat is a spoof.

    Not sure why you all keep responding.

  55. 55
    bootlegger says:

    @SnarkIntern:

    What do you think he is referring to when he speaks of inheriting a gigantic deficit and a financial system on the brink of collapse? The tooth fairy?

    Tooth fairy, free market, same damned thing. Both are suppose to enrich you but both are figments of your imagination. I wonder if Attanut is joining the tea-baggers’ protests?

  56. 56
    Comrade Darkness says:

    What I find sleazy about this most recent recession call is how the formerly apolitical NBER waited so very very long to make the call. A year. Suspiciously the month after the election. Long after bloggers like CR were coloring in the recession on their graphs. This "pass the blame forward" crap would have been much harder had the call been made in July when it was obvious to everyone else.

    Just more politics corrupting every last thing that should be reality based. No wonder everything is in the crapper.

  57. 57
    John S. says:

    Atanarjuat is a spoof.

    I know that, John. I think most of us know that.

    But DougJ spoiled us for years with his awesome spoofiness, and frankly, we demand better of our spoofs.

    This is Balloon Juice – we set a higher standard!

  58. 58
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @SnarkIntern:

    I have no problem with him reminding the audience that he was handed a shitpile on Jan 20 and that he is working as rapidly as possible to make things better. That’s the reality and I think most people understand that, if his approval ratings are any indication … which I think they are.

    I totally agree. If I had to pick a single reason for dems not winning elections in 2002 and 2004 and even 2000 where they really didn’t lose but should have won handily, it would be no effort or a bungled one in framing debates. They won in 06 largely because republicans screwed up so bad and added seats in congress 2008 largely for the same reason. I think Obama gets this and deals with it on a daily basis. Other dems want to live in the weeds and impress us with their wonkiness, and their ability to rise above and not address and not confront the wingnuts who are always busy building smears and false memes while calling them solving issue positions.

  59. 59
    bootlegger says:

    @Brick Oven Bill: I wonder if Lord Limbaugh knows that corporate America uses this technique all the time to brainstorm ideas in their million dollar retreats? Probably not.

  60. 60
    Steeplejack says:

    We need to understand this was Bill Clinton’s fault for gutting our intelligence agencies in the mid-’90s, being attacked three times and doing nothing and refusing to take bin Laden when Sudan offered him in the ’90s.

    What I remember is that Clinton was (also) attacked by the right for the opposite: bombing an aspirin factory with a cruise missile just to distract attention from Monicagate (in their view).

    I’m in too much of a hurry now to find a juicy link; maybe later.

  61. 61
    bootlegger says:

    @John Cole: Because that’s the whole point, you get a spoof, you hurl back some snark, the spoof gets more over-the-top, and everyone is having a good time.

  62. 62
    Joshua Norton says:

    Atanarjuat is a spoof.

    Really? He says very nice things about pie on my screen.

  63. 63
    John S. says:

    What I remember is that Clinton was (also) attacked by the right for the opposite

    Cognitive dissonance is the inevitable result of starting with a conclusion and working your way backwards towards the hypothesis.

  64. 64
    Atanarjuat says:

    @SnarkIntern:

    Yup, just what I thought, no evidence offered, just a hearty "fuck you." Wish I’d put money on that one!

    Get back to us when you can find Obama actually invoking Bush’s name when spreading blame for the current economic crisis. I don’t think you’ll ever find such a quote, but maybe it’ll help if you say "fuck you" three times fast while gargling car battery acid. It would be a more productive use of your time, Snarky old boy.

    As I said, I think President Barack Obama is a very slick and wily politician. Of course he’ll blame others for the shortcomings of his own feeble efforts, except that he’ll be real sly about it and never do anything so blunt and tactless as naming names.

    That Porkulus Edsel in the link I supplied above sure looks shiny and nice, doesn’t it, lefties?

    -A

  65. 65
    Atanarjuat says:

    @John S.:

    Shorter Johnny: I must blame others for my lack of self-control.

    Never doubted that for a minute.

    -A

  66. 66
    jibeaux says:

    @John Cole:

    I don’t either. BoB provides more entertainment and less predictability for your spoofing needs. He is definitely a better value.

  67. 67
    bootlegger says:

    I just got an invitation to join the tea-baggers at one of their delicious tea bag parties.
    It’s kind of fun to watch these folks try and adopt the Left’s action methodology, I wonder if the counter demonstrations will dwarf the tea-baggers?

  68. 68
    kilo says:

    @Atanarjuat:

    Hey, you forgot your "Country Fucked" signoff.

    Apparently your little mind is losing its hobgoblin.

  69. 69
    bootlegger says:

    Oh, and if you join the tea-bagger rebellion they’ll list your name on the front page of the website as a "new member". Juan Valdez is now a member of the tea-bagger revolt.

  70. 70
    TenguPhule says:

    Atanarjuat translates as "The sound made by a twelve alarm chili after 6 hours of digestion."

    When fishing for trolls, employ depth charges.

  71. 71
    TenguPhule says:

    Of course he’ll blame others for the shortcomings of his own feeble efforts, except that he’ll be real sly about it and never do anything so blunt and tactless as naming names.

    George Bush, ladies and gentlemen.

  72. 72
    Dennis-SGMM says:

    @John Cole:
    What happened to all of the real trolls? Before the election no self-respecting lefty blog was complete without its resident troll. Now otherwise-sane people have to spend time with their own dark side for our amusement.

  73. 73

    These four squirrels are paired up, and jumping around in the trees probably one hundred feet above the ground. Some of the leaps are stunningly acrobatic. They do not seem to be interested in my two crackers.

    I have just determined that we have entered squirrel mating season. This could explain the lack of interest in my crackers.

    One of the reasons that corporate America is fubar is because they defer to splinter groups. The root of this is human biodiversity denial. With one exception, every successful small business I have encountered was led by a competent male.

  74. 74
    TenguPhule says:

    I have just determined that we have entered squirrel mating season. This could explain the lack of interest in my crackers.

    Good night everybody!

  75. 75
    Zifnab says:

    @Dennis-SGMM: The wingnuts sequestered themselves in their underground blog bunkers for the coming Obamapocolypse. To be fair, I’ve mostly given up on the right wing blogs I used to troll by virtue of the fact that they’re only getting dumber and more offensive.

    At a certain point, the allure "Country First" ramblings wear thin. They’re not going to believe me and I’m not going to believe them. :-p We are at an impass.

  76. 76
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    One of the reasons that corporate America is fubar is because they defer to splinter groups. The root of this is human biodiversity denial. With one exception, every successful small business I have encountered was led by a competent male.

    You are a national treasure BoB. Really.

  77. 77
    Gary "Atanarjuat" Ruppert says:

    Brick Oven Bill, will you take my hand in unholy matrimony?

  78. 78
    jibeaux says:

    @bootlegger:

    I think I was too lazy or busy to check back after making this point yesterday, but does it strike anyone else as amusing that this is a protest modeled after a protest of the tyranny of taxation without representation, except it’s a protest of taxes being cut via duly enacted legislation from our democratically elected representatives. The outrage!

  79. 79
    TenguPhule says:

    The root of this is human biodiversity denial. With one exception, every successful small business I have encountered was led by a competent male.

    We must return to the old fashioned family values.

    One man, one harem.

  80. 80
    Punchy says:

    These four squirrels are paired up, and jumping around in the trees probably one hundred feet above the ground. Some of the leaps are stunningly acrobatic. They do not seem to be interested in my two crackers.

    Try offering them Scary Negros instead. Maybe they’re racist.

  81. 81
    Surly Duff says:

    With one exception, every successful small business I have encountered was led by a competent male.

    So that makes a total of 2 small businesses you have witnessed?

    Also, too bad it wasn’t the small businesses, even those disfunctional ones run by women, that got us into this clusterfuck. Otherwise, it you might actually have a point. Alas…

  82. 82

    Rush just put on a sound bite of Robert Reich, who describs President Obama’s performance as that of a college professor. Does Robert Reich read Balloon Juice too?

    The squirrels are gone and the crackers are resting on the snow, untouched. Perhaps the squirrels are off copulating. I am glad that humans’ mating season is not limited to late winter. This has to be due to our mastery of structures, to protect us from the seasons. Squirrels have to live outside.

  83. 83
    bago says:

    Shorter BoB: Cracker ass squirrels ain’t interested in my nuts!

  84. 84

    @Brick Oven Bill

    These four squirrels are paired up, and jumping around in the trees probably one hundred feet above the ground. Some of the leaps are stunningly acrobatic. They do not seem to be interested in my two crackers.
    I have just determined that we have entered squirrel mating season. This could explain the lack of interest in my crackers.
    One of the reasons that corporate America is fubar is because they defer to splinter groups. The root of this is human biodiversity denial. With one exception, every successful small business I have encountered was led by a competent male.

    Now that’s some seriously entertaining, non-sequitur crazy! Why can’t you be more like that Attanut? Instead we just get the tired old "Barack’s bad. Obambi. Drink the Kool-Aid cult members" crap from you, oh and then there’s your pathetic "country first" and "eat that lefties" sign-off. Christ, you’re like that pathetic troll over at McMegan McArdle’s site who kept posting, like 20 times in each thread, that Obama wasn’t his president and he was embarassed by him.

    Ya just gotta love the fact that even though Barack Obama is, according to the wingnuts, a slick used-car salesman of a politician who is secretly a scheming Muslim from Absurdistan hell bent on destroying our way of life and fucking our white women that he beat John McCain like a prison punk in the last election. When Johnny Planecrash asked him about the cost overruns on the Marine helicopters used for ferrying the president around I would have loved to have him say "Ya know John, if I hadn’t kicked your ass last November you might be up here at the podium and I might be asking you about the cost of these helicopters. Funny old world isn’t it."

  85. 85
    Comrade Darkness says:

    If we have oscars for spoof trolls, Brick Oven gets the nod. He has the decency to actually round out his character with quirks and a nice sideline of singleminded backwardness. The others are just of the "this should piss them off" chronic topic changers that waste pixels.

    Hey, if we started a kitty for a little amazon gift certificate, to be given to the Troll of the Month, maybe we could attract someThing new and interesting more regularly.

  86. 86

    @Brick Oven Bill

    The squirrels are gone
    The crackers are resting on
    the snow, untouched

    Perhaps the squirrels are off copulating.
    I am glad that humans’ mating season
    is not limited to late winter.
    This has to be due to our mastery of structures,
    to protect us from the seasons.
    Squirrels have to live outside.

    See Attanut, this is why BoB is better than you, his crazy can be reformatted into haiku and blank verse. OK, it’s not very good haiku or blank verse, but it’s more entertaining than anything you write, and for that matter more entertaining than a lot of stuff I had to read in various high school and college English lit classes.

  87. 87
    nylund says:

    Remember, the Republicans didn’t just say it was Clinton’s fault, they made it into a movie.

  88. 88
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @Brick Oven Bill:

    I have just determined that we have entered squirrel mating season. This could explain the lack of interest in my crackers.

    Mating season explains the squirrels’ decreased interest in BoB’s crackers as well as BoB’s increased interest in the squirrels.

    As far as trolls go, I kinda like Brick Oven Bill. Can we keep him? Can we?

  89. 89
    Mike G says:

    After the attack on the African embassies Clinton launched seventy cruise missiles into Sudan and Afghanistan, reportedly missing bin Laden by a couple of hours.

    Were Repigs supportive? No. Repig chickenhawks, who would have been screaming in ecstasy if Reagan had vicariously given meaning to their weak, powerless lives by executing the same action, cried "wag the dog" and "Monica distraction" and one I believe said, "Terrorism is a phony issue".

    The Clinton White House had meetings every week to stay on top of anti-terrorism. Chimp didn’t give a shit so the meetings were cancelled when his wrecking crew moved in. He put Cheney in charge of it, who didn’t give a shit and never held a anti-terrorism meeting until 9/11 because he couldn’t work out how to make money off of it.

    I would put even money that Cheney deliberately ignored warnings because an attack would make a handy excuse to grab Iraq’s oil. Fucking Rumsfeld was pushing to attack Iraq while the Pentagon was still on fire, despite knowing Iraq had no connection to the attacks, because, "There aren’t any good targets in Afghanistan".

  90. 90
    John S. says:

    Shorter Johnny: I must blame others for my lack of self-control.

    Crikey, now you’ve apparently outsourced your already shitty spoofing to even shittier spoofers in India.

    You could learn a lot from Brick Oven Bill.

  91. 91
    Atanarjuat says:

    @John S.:

    So Johnny, you lied about your time being wasted and feeling oh-so-tired by my participation on Obama-Juice? That’s why you keep offering me unsolicited advice?

    The (non-)surprises just keep assailing me on this here blog, I swear.

    -A

    P.S. Psssst! Wile. E. Coño, your wobbly jackalopes only confirm that you agree with my basic point: Obama is a superbly slick and unctuous politician who’ll say ANYTHING to get us to buy what everyone else knows is a lemon. Thanks!

  92. 92
    Cain says:

    I think we need to copyright BOB as (c) balloon-juice. No one else must have him.

    cain

  93. 93
    Krista says:

    Squirrels have to live outside.

    It’s for the best, BOB. You don’t want the little buggers inside — they’ll chew your wiring all to fuck, and will STILL reject your crackers.

  94. 94
    Colette says:

    It’s for the best, BOB. You don’t want the little buggers inside—they’ll chew your wiring all to fuck, and will STILL reject your crackers.

    Now I’m all confused. Are we talking squirrels, or Republican congresscritters?

  95. 95
    ricky says:

    I think copulation is a reasonable reason to avoid Bill’s crackers. Self preservation might be another explanation, as this one exception to Bill’s observation about small business success explains.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c

  96. 96
    Stooleo says:

    Please don’t think ill of me, that this is from Politico, but Bunning is threating to sue the NRSC. More popcorn please.

  97. 97

    @At a tuna jar

    P.S. Psssst! Wile. E. Quixote, your wobbly jackalopes

    Wobbly Jackalopes? No, sorry, that’s still not as entertaining as BoB’s meditation upon the squirrels and the human mating season. Now that was brilliant, the imagery of the untouched crackers on the snow, and the plaintive ending of "squirrels have to live outside" encapsulating nature’s cruel pathos in one sentence. Someone ought to send that to Lewis Lapham at Harpers.

  98. 98

    @Krista

    It’s for the best, BOB. You don’t want the little buggers inside—they’ll chew your wiring all to fuck, and will STILL reject your crackers.

    @Colette

    Now I’m all confused. Are we talking squirrels, or Republican congresscritters?

    Both. Now Republican governors, well those little buggers will come inside and chew your wiring all to fuck and will then take your crackers, all the while telling you shouldn’t have handed out so many of them and that there should have been more saltines and fewer triscuits in the mix.

  99. 99
    ricky says:

    It’s a good thing that BOB only left crackers out during squirrel mating season. If he was getting his Burkean alarm bells" off like David Brooks, the squirrels might have gnawed down on those little nuts and ruined his next mating season.

  100. 100
    Ash Can says:

    My vote goes to Brick Shithouse Bill as troll/spoof deluxe of BJ as well. Like I’ve said before, I consider his posts more performance art than trolling/spoofing. Objective Scrutator is a pretty good tail-chaser, but he can’t hold a candle to BOB. Atanarjuat is articulate, but, apart from the occasional entertaining turn of the phrase, is dry as a bone. Phil did a decent job the other night; he wouldn’t be bad to punt around here on a regular basis. I’m aware of a few others, but they don’t post much.

    Now, who did I miss?

  101. 101
    Ash Can says:

    Atanarjuat is a spoof. Not sure why you all keep responding.

    Target practice. And just general blowing off steam. Typing furiously on a computer keyboard and clicking on the "submit" button is easier and cheaper than repairing holes in drywall and replacing television sets.

  102. 102
    Bootlegger says:

    @jibeaux: Fer sure, irony duly noted ma’am. The Republicans are staging a tea-bagger tax cut revolt. Truly the end of irony.

  103. 103
    Bootlegger says:

    Ya’ll are totally missing BOB’s allegory. The squirrls chasing each other are all males, so obviously they represent Republicans in an airport restroom. BOB is Obama and the crackers are the stimulus package. The squirrels are so busy chasing each other’s tails they don’t notice the easy food on the ground. Now some other clever critter will come along and eat the stimulus. FTW: what animal gets the crackers?

  104. 104
    4tehlulz says:

    >>FTW: what animal gets the crackers?
    The cock.

  105. 105
    Cain says:

    FTW: what animal gets the crackers?

    Your mom?

    cain

  106. 106
    Bootlegger says:

    @Cain: Careful, your mom will get jealous. Wait, I’ll pull my cock out of her mouth and ask her…… She says, no, she’s not jealous of your lust for another mom.
    Back to bukkake.

  107. 107
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Bootlegger:

    Ya’ll are totally missing BOB’s allegory. The squirrls chasing each other are all males, so obviously they represent Republicans in an airport restroom. BOB is Obama and the crackers are the stimulus package. The squirrels are so busy chasing each other’s tails they don’t notice the easy food on the ground. Now some other clever critter will come along and eat the stimulus. FTW: what animal gets the crackers?

    I think Cole should give BoB posting privileges. We could then plumb the depths of insane, yet wily metaphors, and solve the economic crisis with BoB’s special blend of pop science. I see expanded horizons for snark and parody as well.

  108. 108
    Krista says:

    Now, who did I miss?

    BOB will never reach the poetic heights reached by BIRDZILLA. The mostly all-caps nuggets of wisdom he (or she, or it) bestowed upon us were like glimpses of another spiritual realm.

  109. 109
    Laura W says:

    @Comrade Stuck:

    I think Cole should give BoB posting privileges.

    I give a huge extra cheese AMEN to that idea, Stuck! Y’all say what you will, I appreciate BOB’s efforts on this site. Always a fascinating read, for many reasons. Talk about your layered nuance. Flavor!

    I need to repeat something I’ve said before: I wish to hell Tweety would not call our President "Barack". Just a bit ago he said: "Barack wants to play…President Barack wants to play." Can you imagine him calling Bush "George"????? or "President George"? Christ.

    I swear he does that solely to avoid calling him "President Osama" as he called Obama "Osama" several times in the election season. I’m sure this is the only workaround he could integrate to sidestep that.

  110. 110
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Krista:

    Yes, BIRDZILLA was like a blue collar BoB and the only person on BJ that spelt worse than moi’. I still think he got lost when the site moved to it’s new format. Where are you BIRDZILLA? won’t you please come home!

  111. 111
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Laura W:

    Talk about your layered nuance. Flavor!

    Unfortunately, Cole just thinks he’s insane, and doesn’t see the genius.

  112. 112
    Laura W says:

    @Comrade Stuck: As an INFJ, seeing the genius in the insane is sorta my speciality.
    Probably why I’ve always been fond of you, Stuck.
    (Edit: I believe I’ve had a Birdzilla sighting or two over recent months. Brief, fleeting, but not delusional apparitions. I don’t think. Also.)

  113. 113
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Laura W:

    seeing the genius in the insane is sorta my speciality.
    Probably why I’ve always been fond of you, Stuck.

    :-)

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