Joe the Plumber on war: “the media should be abolished.”
When I was in grad school, a friend of mine talked a lot about the William Shattner version of “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”. After all the discussion, I thought there was no way it could surprise me with its awfulness, given my expectations, but it did. This Joe the Plumber clip is one of those things where, no matter how prepared you think you are for it, you’ll be surprised by the stupidity.
Video. (I haven’t figured out how embed here yet.)
(h/t Paddy)
Update: “I’m sure they’re taking quick showers, I know I would”. Was there a scene on “24” where someone got hit with a bomb while showering?
sparky
i think it was Buckley who said he’d rather be governed by the first 2000 names in the phone book than the Harvard faculty. were he here no doubt he would be pleased that his heirs are working to make that dream come true.
joe + sarah in 2012!
because competence is for wimps
kommrade reproductive vigor
Does Joe the Plunger know he’s halfway around the world courtesy of an organization called Pajamas Media?
Edit after watching:
Holy Fucking Shit. That was LSD as performed by Denny Hastert making armpit farts.
demimondian
@sparky: Notice that neither Palin nor Wurzelbacher is among the first 2000 names in the phone book.
Just sayin’
scruncher
The whole thing makes me sick. He has become a story. If he were covering the Golden Globes I wouldn’t give a shit but the story is Gaza, not effing Joe the Reporter.
Comrade Jake
Memo to the right wingnuts: that sound you hear is us laughing at you. Sending "Joe the Plumber" to cover "Battlefield Gaza" is the best joke you’ve told in a long time.
DougJ
You beat me to it.
jon
There are a lot of bloggers quietly excising their postings regarding this Folkhero Man of the People (and the Sarahcuda) from their archives.
Great interview, jackass! I was disappointed to see that it was edited for embarassment: "Uhhh, I have so many questions… the Israel people are amazing… why do you guys save these things?… it’s bad when people start having opinions… we need to cheer our troops before movies, preferably after the racist cartoons… I’ve got to catch the shortbus to my next exclusive… those windows won’t lick themselves… this is Haifa, out!"
The Moar You Know
The look of baffled stupidity as the Israeli shows him the rockets, later followed by belligerence as he uses his fifteen minutes to spray his talking points-laden diarrhea, is truly terrifying.
KCinDC
Well, that depends on the phone book, doesn’t it? The Directory of Prominent Inhabitants of Crazytown may only have 2,000 names.
Hyperion
His mode of speech is palinesque. Stream of consciousness in incomplete sentences. And it looks like HE is the photo op…or are those his crew?
This is a very stupid guy.
Comrade Stuck
Much more than simple stupididity. It’s Wingnut Showbiz!
The deeper meaning Joe is trying to share is the age old question that: "If no one reports on an atrocity, did it really happen"?
Maineiac
It must be the train wreck thing, I love watching Joe.
Comrade Jake
I assume this means that Joe now has more foreign policy experience than Sarah. So he’ll be at the top of the ticket in 2012, then?
demkat620
Wow! I am so totally sold. I’ve got to run out and change my registration tomorrow. Joe the Plumber has made me see the light.
Bush was right!
ed
Ol’ Joe looks quite well there. I guess being a Christian really does keep a fella safe. Huzzah!
Zuzu's Petals
I actually did laugh out loud watching this buffoon with a microphone.
Then I realized he will have fodder for years of uhm, commentary like: "When I was talking to the Israeli command during the Gaza crisis of ’09 …"
Gag.
kommrade reproductive vigor
I wondered about that, especially the woman who yelped "Waddaya want from me?" at the beginning. The way he spoke during his abolish the media from war zones rant gave me the impression he was addressing reporters, but it’s hard to say when someone is that incoherent. If he was talking to the press it would have been awesome if they’d said "Right you are Joe!" and walked out.
Michael G
@demimondian:
Are you sure? The Wasilla phone book *is* more of a brief pamphlet, after all.
spudvol
When do we get an update on the war’s effect on the Israeli plumbing infrastructure?
Delia
Well, how about we start with him and then re-evaluate the proposition?
Andre
What amazes me is that the normally hyperbolic parodists at Something Awful predicted that Joe’s attempts at journalism would be workmanlike but inane, rather than out-and-out embarrassing.
donovong
I took a shit this morning that was smarter and more coherent that Wurzelbacher, and I flushed anyway.
He is obviously going to be much harder to get rid of.
Chris Johnson
No reporters! Patriotism demands STADIUMS. Stadiums where all the people can cheer. Maybe we can think up a hand or arm gesture they can use to express their patriotism. Those Israel people will be down with that, won’t they? It should comfort them.
gah.
Just ‘wow’. The sun is setting on wingnuttia.
JL
@scruncher: Joe is pretending to cover the war on Gaza. To me it looks like he is sightseeing in Israel.
joe from Lowell
How about the look on that Israeli soldier’s face while Wurtzelbacher’s blathering about "the media should be abolished."
How do you say "You’re not helping" in Hebrew?
dmsilev
@sparky:
Fortunately for all of us, JTP’s last name begins with "W", so he’s nowhere near the first 2K names in his local phone book.
-dms
Incertus
@demkat620: I knew that would be the Right Brothers and I clicked on it anyway. Damn you to hell. At least it wasn’t the anti-abortion song.
The Moar You Know
@donovong: Harder to flush down the toilet, anyway. However, I’ve got a hammer and chainsaw, and I’m willing to give it a shot.
Incertus
@The Moar You Know: I hear Drano takes care of the bones. Just sayin’.
Josh Hueco
So, because the media supposedly presents an incomplete (duh) story of what’s going on, they shouldn’t be allowed to report it at all? Ignorance is Strength, y’all!
Krista
Funny how so many wingnuts, when thinking of the 1st Amendment, only think of freedom of religion, while very conveniently forgetting freedom of the press.
In other words, if you want a country where nobody is allowed to publicly criticize or question the government, then maybe that little thing called democracy isn’t for you.
J.D. Rhoades
You’d need a real plumber for that.
DougJ
That’s what I was thinking too.
Josh Hueco
Slightly OT, but the Buffalo Beast just published their list of the 50 Most Loathsome People of 2008, and Not-Joe the Not-Plumber clocked in at #20:
scruncher
@JL:
Yes, but the reporters who should be covering Gaza, or something equally worthy of their efforts, and not Joe the Parasite.
Zuzu's Petals
@joe from Lowell:
So I guess that whole idea of embedding reporters to "report on day to day stuff" doesn’t meet with Joe’s approval.
Somebody alert Malkin.
rob
This dumb ass. According to JTP we should all go down to our local movie house and watch war footage like they did in WW1 & WW2. And then he descirbes the people of Isreal as "the Isreal people"??? I hope he gets hit by a missile.
kommrade reproductive vigor
How about the look on that Israeli soldier’s face while Wurtzelbacher’s blathering about "the media should be abolished."
How do you say "
You’re not helpingPlease God don’t let me laugh so hard I drool on my shoes front of these cameras or my CO will have my balls," in Hebrew?Fxd.
Thom
Joe: I’ve got so many questions.
How many?
Joe: All of ’em.
upyernoz
to embed the video, put your cursor over the triangle in the lower right corner of the youtube screen (the one right under the words "youtube"), a shape will appear over the triangle. click on that shape.
then click on the field that says "embed", hit "copy" then past the code into the blog entry.
you can do that with any youtube video.
Laura W
Not to belabor the point, but do you have any specific, intelligent questions?
Joe: I’ll try to find ya some and I’ll bring ’em to ya.
J
Notice that J the P only says that the media should be abolished from reporting, which, despite the appalling grammar, makes it plain that he sees a role for the media, presumably spouting cretinous drivel in just the way he does.
donovong
What I figure is this guy is going to soon run for Governor of Texas as a Republican and, after two terms, he will be voted into the White House – it’ll be "W" all over again. After all, they appear to be intellectual equals.
sparky
@DougJ: only a lie-beral would start at the front of the phone book. everyone knows the MSM WANTS you to start there.
and W. isn’t a real Conservative either. also.
TenguPhule
Hard to argue when he’s providing such a good example for it.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Nah, he learned the Israeli Army doesn’t discriminate against teh ghey. When given the choice between an uncomfortable shower or death by shrapnel, RealAmericans(R) choose death!
TenguPhule
Corrected for Truthiness.
wvng
Have you all noticed that Joe looks just like the roto-rooter guy on Ghostbusters?
Andre
@Thom:
Oh man, JTP should totally interview Sarah Palin when he gets home.
JTP: Sarah, have you ever wanted to unload on your critics the way John McLean did on that German guy with the beard?
SP: Well, Joe, that’s a very interesting question. Let’s seen, I think I’d like to say I was for creating health for our people without taxation. Also, job creation. And I think when my critics start rearing their heads…
JTP: AWESOME! YEAH! KICKASS!
SP: (simpers)
JTP: Babe, you look good with a machine gun.
Mnemosyne
Well, there were the soldiers who were electrocuted while showering in Iraq, but that work was done by KBR, so even though several work orders were filed to request that the problem be fixed, you can’t actually prove that KBR ever got the work orders, so no harm no foul. At least, that’s what the Pentagon decided in their "investigation." Who cares if a couple of grunts die from shoddy workmanship when fixing the problem might cost KBR a couple dollars of their profits?
gnomedad
Then let’s kill all the lawyers.
Silver Owl
Joe the not legit plumber wants himself abolished before he reports from which ever war zone gets him the most attention. lol
Brick Oven Bill
The ironic thing about you guys and Joe the Plumber is that Joe the Plumber told Barack that Barack wanted to raise his taxes. And you guys, including those with the educations, all called him dumb and out of touch because Barack was not going to raise his taxes.
Now Joe the Plumber is going to make millions of dollars pitching pickup trucks, or hot dogs, or Budweiser, or dating services, and Barack is really going to raise his taxes.
I like Joe the Plumber and am happy that he will have more money for his family. America continues to be a great place. It gets more interesting by the day.
John Cole
The funny thing is he seems completely unaware that when the military embedded journalists, it was a PR coup for the military. It was only when things went to hell and they started restricting access to the press and started having an antagonistic relationship, and when the rising body count made it self-evident that things had gone in the crapper, that the media started with a lot of the negative coverage in Iraq.
I remember the warblogging at the time- folks on the left were pissed at the embeds and the propaganda of it all.
slip
How do you say "You’re not helping" in Hebrew?
"Peti, sheket" would work. If you misspell it a bit it becomes the Hebrew version of "shut up, moran."
TheHatOnMyCat
Even knowing the background, I must say, I was slack-jawed when I first saw the clips.
I sincerely hope that Joe remains a GOP icon for many more years. I don’t think anything we (dems) can do will be able to top the Joe_Sarah show for service to the liberal cause.
TheHatOnMyCat
From you, that’s a little like hearing that OJ Simpson is going to be selling hunting knives on HSN.
From prison.
Ecks
Yeah, but Bush prolly is. How’s that working out eh.
Ed Drone
In the words of the song on the new Tom Petty CD, "He gets to be famous, I get to be rich." The people pulling his strings get the money, he gets the ‘glory,’ as well as all the much-deserved shit flung his way.
Yeah, really smart career move, slick!
Ed
Zuzu's Petals
@Ed Drone:
I keep wondering how much they’re paying him. Wouldn’t surprise me if it’s zero, the exposure being the thing.
kommrade reproductive vigor
You mean this guy.
Andre
@TheHatOnMyCat:
See, it’s when good, smart, liberal folks start saying things like that that I get scared.
I don’t mean to talk down to anyone, but I remember pretty clearly people saying things about George W. Bush like that he considered ignorance a virtue and that he was just too stupid for public office. Then a bunch of people voted for him.
I’m not saying JTP/SP are the Great White Hopes of the GOP, but really, there’s an Ignorance-loving Tiger waiting in the shadows of the South to pounce upon the hopes and dreams of liberals everywhere and give it a darn good nibbling. Whether or not that tiger is toothless remains to be seen.
Sirkowski
Joe the Stalin.
El Cid
I actually do want to see an entire right wing network not like the media slickies at Fox Nooz but staffed by various loudmouths plucked off the street that day, given a microphone and a 3 x 5 index card (read to them if needed) on what they’re covering before the camera starts rolling.
Objective Scrutator
This alone is enough proof to know that Joe the Plumber will be a visionary, endowed with powers of the LORD. What Wurzelbacher wishes is what will happen. For this reason, I am hoping that Pajamas Media is prepping him to state that the Palestinians are complete savages, while the Israelis can only do good.
I agree. While Barack Obama will try to turn America into a wasteland, it is Joe the Plumber, the "Lone Wanderer", who will defeat Obama and his legions of Enclave soldiers. Just as the "Lone Wanderer" emerged from Vault 101 in Fallout 3, Joe the Plumber will emerge from the john into stardom.
El Cid
I also hope that Joe the Plumber will open each edition of his show by singing his own version of the theme song to "Walker: Texas Ranger".
demimondian
@Ecks: Nah. Bush has an unlisted number.
Zuzu's Petals
@Objective Scrutator:
Is Obama really going to raise JTP’s taxes? I mean on his actual income, not his imaginary if-I-buy-a-business-that-makes-a-lot-more-money-than-it-does-now income.
If so, news to me.
TheHatOnMyCat
I hear ya Andre, but I keep thinking of that NYT map that showed the precincts where the GOP increased their share of the vote in the last 4 years. They are beyond marginalized, they are moribund. No ideas, no message, no clue.
Their message right now amounts to "Don’t spend a lot to prevent this depression, that’s going to increase the debt."
As if any moron can’t see that doing less than enough will create more deficits than any expenditure could, by far. Nothing slams tax revenue like a little depression.
I think that the GOP is headed for extinction, and I would love for Joe and Sarah to be the pair describing the action as if they were doing the Rose Parade. Bring em on!
Neue Internetpräsenz
The only thing people were hit with on 24 tonight were large slabs of boredom. MORE CANDYMAN!
Charity
Is it wrong of me that I picture JtP getting a face full of Gaza missiles? And am not sad about it?
sgwhiteinfla
Actually what I picture is JTP getting a little too close to the action while cameras are rolling and we get to see him scream like a woman and piss down his leg just like the powder puff "tough guy" he really is. Its funny how many neo con asshats who never sniffed military service are always saying "War is Hell".
Objective Scrutator
Obama’s tax cuts are, at best, temporary for the middle class. Since he would look bad at raising the taxes of someone who shovels shit out of a toilet for a living, he decided to wait until Joe’s hard work paid off.
Obama’s a particularly nefarious Democrat; he doesn’t raise taxes immediately, but waits for Americans to live happily before he pulls the chain.
Ash Wing League
Not sure if you’ve seen this yet but here’s Joe the Plumber’s first article!
ilsita
I would really like to know what he thought he was saying.
Also, "I really like in World War One and World War Two…" Holyhell! Does Joe know what media means?
That clip was the beginning of a maddening infinite loop of crazy.
Nancy B
That was agonizing. Please tell me this is Borat-inspired performance art. Otherwise I’m going to slit my wrists.
Delia
@Ash Wing League:
From Joe’s insightful article:
Wow, I’m glad we’ve got the settler issue sorted out. We won’t have to worry our pretty little brains about that one anymore.
Shygetz
@Chris Johnson: No, no, no…the Right is going through its post-modernist movement. Joe the Plumber is the avant garde of wingnut performance art. It’s like mime, only noisier.
jrg
Did someone need to fly Joe out to Israel to film that rant? Isn’t that something he could have filmed from his couch?
The Grand Panjandrum
Wow.
He certainly did his homework before heading out on assignment.
Doug H. (Comrade Fausto no more)
EDIT: Woop, nevermind, didn’t know that was from the SA article.
Zuzu's Petals
@Objective Scrutator:
Oh, so in other words, it’s complete bullshite.
Thanks.
FAP
People of Israel we give you a lot in aid and now I think it’s time you do us a solid. Please, keep Joe. We don’t want him back and frankly as long as he’s fed and petted often I don’t think he’d much miss the USA.
pseudonymous in nc
No, but there’s the raid scene (4:30 in) from Blazing Saddles.
Ecks
That JTP article has to be read to be believed.
Someone keep this man very very busy. Apparently the only thing between him and starting a war is that he doesn’t have enough free time.
Or maybe he’s suggesting we should just keep the Elites busier, so THEY don’t have time to start wars. Maybe tetris can solve PTSD *AND* world peace.
Yes Joe. You’ll find it in something called a "supermarket." Wow, you really weren’t kidding about being too busy to get out much.
So then Joe is taken to see where a rocket hit. He’s told that had a baby been sleeping nearby it could have been "slightly injured by debris," and he’s shown a picture of a man who’s sad because a rocket killed someone he knew hit in his yard. He hears about a rocket hitting a dog:
Sure sound like those rockets are deadly. How deadly you ask?
Right. 9-11, where a lot of people died over the many years, and recently one other. Just exactly like 9-11. Except, sorta like if there were lots of little 9-11’s, each capable of slightly injuring a baby or launching a surprised dog into a tree. Or , god forbid, ruining a guy’s yard.
Or, as the man himself puts it:
So there you have it, just like a plane landed among the family of the Americans.
But you thought that was a good analogy, wait for this one:
I’m assuming Moshe didn’t speak very good English. Seriously, JTP would shoot his own baby, because heck, he can just make another one? I assume JTP stands for "Joe The Psychopath."
Come for the analogies, but stay for the craptacular writing:
Be riveted by the hard hitting reporting:
And don’t worry, this stuff will be coming out for some time:
And that should be any day now, right?
And this is my book report from grade five. Stay strong Miss Crabapple.
Ecks
Damnit… the bit I wrote was supposed to have strikeout through "killed someone he knew" in the phrase:
"he’s shown a picture of a man who’s sad because a rocket killed someone he knew hit in his yard. He hears about a rocket hitting a dog:"
It was there in the preview! Dagnabit!!
Ecks
except this was a total parody that I’ve gone and deconstructed now, wasn’t it?
I kept reading it and trying to decide if it was a parody or serious, and the guy was such a douchemuff that I actually believed that’s what he would write. It’s basically the kind of crap he’s saying.
Is JTP like SP someone you can’t parody, you can only quote?
Napoleon
They played the part where he says the media ought to be abolished on my morning news. When they came back from it the talking head says "maybe they should abolish him" and then "what, is about 9 minutes of his 15 up at this point?"
harlana pepper
Please put on a non-paper thin t-shirt that doesn’t look like you got it at a Lynard Skynard concert in 1982.
kommrade reproductive vigor
Please, please, please say you are making this absolutely insane shit up so I can laugh rather than punch Plunger Joe in the face.
No wait, PJ is raising his own child (without a wife) so you must have made this up. Ha ha ha ha!
I hope.
mapaghimagsik
I’m so glad you watch these idiots so I don’t have to.
JTP may very well be the exception to the "there’s no such thing as bad publicity" rule.
Do you think there will be a moment where he says all of a sudden, "Waitaminit, these guys are Jews!"
Laura W
@Ecks: I start my day with French Roast, BJ and
Hard HittingCable News.This was so informative I feel I can mute the "news" for the rest of the morning.
Thank you. I hope to see more Joe the Plunger
parodyquoting from you over coming days.Deee-lish
Zuzu's Petals
@Napoleon:
Hoping against hope you live in a red state and they’re saying that.
priscianus jr
Joe the Plumber for President in 2012. Go Republicans!
Ash Can
@Objective Scrutator:
PRICELESS!
Will
At that point, the IDF soldier standing by should have immediately arrested him. "By order of the newly implemented Plumber Code!"
Dusty
Nevermind.