50 Most Loathesome People

The Buffalo Beast is out with their list of the 50 Most Loathsome People of 2008. A sample:

47. Michelle Bachmann

Charges: Exemplifies the simmering, all-American fascism lurking behind the forced smiles of uptight church ladies throughout “real America.” Echoing Sarah Palin’s alarming hints about “helping” the media do its job, Bachmann’s casual call for a “penetrating” press investigation into “anti-Americanism” in congress was so fucking dumb it made Chris Matthews seem smart. Once it occurred to the Oral Roberts University graduate that calling for witchhunts against Democrats might be a tad extreme for election season, she decided to just pretend she didn’t say it, and then she blamed Chris Matthews. Then she just blamed words. Then she denied it again. Then she won. Way to go, Minnesota’s 6th.

Exhibit A: BACHMANN: Actually, that’s not what I said at all. COLMES: Well, I’m just — I’m reading your exact quote. BACHMANN: Actually that’s not I said. It’s an urban legend that was created. That isn’t what I said at all. COLMES: We have — it’s on tape.

Sentence: Assigned to conduct her own “expose” on anti-American views, in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan.

***

22. PUMAs

Charges: Redefining feminism as “supporting Hillary Clinton, whether she wants you to or not,” and “defending” that feminism by embodying negative stereotypes of women as irrational and scornful, there was no demographic more painfully dumb than aggrieved Hillary backers plotting to defeat Obama. Drunk on a dream of vengeance for their queen, this strange minority picked up every despicable, paranoid, racist talking point they could from the worst of the right wing, even complimenting Sean Hannity on his “fair and balanced” coverage of Obama. Desperately twisting words in a sad attempt to tar Obama as a sexist and willing to subject themselves and their country to a probable assault on reproductive rights in the name of spite, the PUMAs comported themselves with all the dignity and sense of a false rape accusation.

Exhibit A: It’s hard to choose, but nothing was more ridiculous this year than hearing an obscenely rich Hillary fundraiser named “Lady de Rothschild” describe Obama as “an elitist.”

Sentence: President Palin appoints Mullah Omar to Supreme Court.

***

3. Sean Hannity

Charges: This relentlessly repugnant McCarthyite tool really outdid himself this year, in an all-out quest to otherize Obama in any way he could. This paranoid pustule is able to find a liberal conspiracy lurking behind any mundane occurrence, even attributing Obama’s selection as Time’s Person of the Year, an event as predictable as sunrise, to a pay-to-play scheme. Hopelessly outmatched shill Alan Colmes is finally leaving his role as Hannity’s doormat; he will not be replaced.

Exhibit A: “I never questioned anyone’s patriotism.”

Sentence: Wrongfully convicted of murdering Vince Foster, based on evidence falsified by Jerome Corsi.

The whole list is solid.






61 replies
  1. 1
    Joshua Norton says:

    40. Free Credit Report.com guy

    That ad was playing on the TV as I was reading this. Too funny.

  2. 2
    Josh Hueco says:

    It’s a signal of how rich a crop of loathsome assholes that 2008 fielded, that the Beast placed ‘You’ somewhere in the mid-30s. Usually, ‘You’ are in the top ten.

  3. 3
    tomjones says:

    Are the PUMAs really going to spend the next 4 years in their state of righteous, bitter opposition to all things Obama (including, I suppose, SOS Clinton)? What a sad, sorry reason to blog.

  4. 4
    Laura W says:

    The Matalin/Carville illustration is mesmerizing. I can not get past it. Want to keep staring…
    Love seeing Scumborough up there, of course:

    Charges: An incredulous, squinting brat, who’s turned "Morning Joe" into the "My Super Sweet Sixteen" of cable news, Scarborough has a decent shot at being named the world’s largest toddler by Guinness.

  5. 5

    I have to admit the whole Lady Rothschild thingy had me splurting my wine over my puter screen on a daily basis. I mean really? You, who married into more money than God, calls the son of a single mother, of lower middle class grandparents, grew up getting himself by, working through college a fucking elitist? It is akin to me calling out the other posters on this board for being a freaking brit.

    PS) I have been so trying to access the overnight kitty video that Sully posted as a mental health break, however the link from here is broken and when I go to sully’s site the link there is also broken. Can anyone help?

  6. 6
    D-Chance. says:

    —–
    37. Keith Olbermann

    Charges: The crazy man’s Howard Beale, Olbermann is an infuriating conundrum—a person who adopts mostly correct positions for mostly erroneous reasons. Olbermann has an uncanny ability to find the obtusest angle on any issue, delivering glancing blows to wide open targets. Perhaps this is why Olbermann only argues with various cameras, reserving interviews for Newsweek sycophants whose main role on “Countdown” is to listen to a series of uncomfortably leading yes or no questions and reply to each, “that’s right, Keith.” He’s been wearing out the impact of his “special comments” like a cheap sex doll for the ratings, rapidly diminishing their credibility by applying the same outraged, spluttering, accusatory tone to his uniquely unbearable all-caps missives, whether directed at White House war criminals or Clinton campaign PR hacks. Largely false accusations of anti-Hillary bias in the media found their mark with Keith, who wildly overreacted to relatively minor Clinton slights, while engaging in freakish logical contortions to justify Obama’s apparent deficiencies, despite sad pretenses to objectivity. Somehow, manages to seem dykier than Rachael Maddow.
    —–

    The whole thing is hilarious.

  7. 7
  8. 8

    At least they had the sense to put Obama on there and acknowledge that his pastor committed wrongdoing; ergo, so did Obama.

    They had potential, but they had to ruin it all by putting Greenspan on the list.

  9. 9
    Sirkowski says:

    [Joe Scarborough] treats his MSNBC coworkers with less professional courtesy than the dead intern found in his congressional office.

    OH SNAP!

  10. 10
    demimondian says:

    @Sirkowski: I was actually puzzled by that line — how would the dead intern treat anyone with professional courtesy? Eat their brains first, or last?

  11. 11
    Josh Hueco says:

    @D-Chance.:

    Somehow, manages to seem dykier than Rachael Maddow.

    That was probably my favorite line of all.

  12. 12
    demimondian says:

    @Objective Scrutator: Yeah. Angela Mitchell’s husband is in a class by himself, and it’s an insult to the other forty nine to even suggest that any of them approach Ayn-Boy’s loathesomeness.

  13. 13
    Laura W says:

    @demimondian: (pssssst: Andrea)

  14. 14
    AdrianLesher says:

    Oh, come on. Do you really believe that Barack Obama and Keith Olberman deserve the same opprobrium that Michelle Bachman and Sean Hannity do?

  15. 15
    vishnu schizt says:

    @Litlebritdifrnt: I forgot one of the great comments of 2008 in response to Lady De’s elitist comment:

    John Cole:

    "You lost me at De" – brilliant.

    If I knew how to actually link to that comment I would. It was beautiful.

  16. 16
    demimondian says:

    @Laura W: And you waited until after I could no longer silently correct my typo before posting that.

    Just you wait…

  17. 17
    kay says:

    Ashley Todd doesn’t belong on that list. It’s too easy, and she’s not rich or wildly powerful. She’s tragic, but in a completely small way.
    I pick Sean Hannity, who I’ve loathed since Schiavo. I have considered under what set of circumstances his career would have to end.
    Not a drug habit (Limbaugh) and not a dead intern (Morning Joe). An affair won’t matter (O’Reilly). I’m still trying to come up with something career-ending, but not life-threatening.

  18. 18
    Laura W says:

    @demimondian: I know! I realized that too late. Sorry. Next time I will look at the time stamp before I correct you in public.
    "Don’t make me backhand you, Mika Laura".
    HA!

  19. 19
    Sirkowski says:

    AdrianLesher says: Oh, come on. Do you really believe that Barack Obama and Keith Olberman deserve the same opprobrium that Michelle Bachman and Sean Hannity do?

    I sure don’t. But considering the majority of people in that last, I’ll put some water in my wine.

  20. 20
    John Cole says:

    @vishnu schizt: What was the name of the post and I can dig it out.

    @Laura W: Are you watching the Golden Globes? Someone tell Spielberg to STFU.

    Also, Drew Barrymore looks beautiful.

  21. 21

    @Laura W:

    That is so Simon;s cat I love it.

    PS) my cat Lari decided to land on my laptop, I picked her off and with her she took two keys you will have to guess which ones in the future.

  22. 22

    Man, "You" fell like 38 slots. I haven’t seen chart action like that since the Milli Vanilli lip-synching allegations were heard in The Hague.

  23. 23
    Laura W says:

    @John Cole: No, I flipped to CNN when Scorsese started the homage to The Greatest Filmmaker Of Our Time. His eyebrows were trippin’ me out. Much like the Matalin/Carville illustration.

    Sara Jessica Parker oughta do her old boo, Robert Downey Jr., a favor and use my fave line from her show on him:

    "Girlfriend needs to put a comb through her hair, she has company."

  24. 24
    robertdsc says:

    Michelle Malkin:

    It’s a remarkable achievement in unconscious projection that the author of a book called Unhinged could lose her fucking marbles over a patterned scarf in a donut ad, but that’s what Michelle Malkin did when she sounded the nutbar clarion call and sicced her half-cocked league of masturbators on Rachel Ray and Dunkin Donuts for the flatly absurd notion that they were sending a message of solidarity with Palestinians. Right, Michelle—you just can’t sell donuts without joining the intifada these days. What did the nauseously spunky Ray do to incur the wrath of the Malkinoids? She wore a black and white scarf. A paisley scarf. A scarf that was clearly not a kaffiyeh, which, by the way, is just a hat that Arabs wear, not some universal symbol of jihad. In terms of completely false outrage, the only thing that rivaled this travesty of reason this year was the “lipstick on a pig” metaphor panic. But what puts this embarrassing sham over the top is that Dunkin Donuts actually apologized and pulled the ad, rather than try to explain to the fact-phobic horde that they were just blind, raging idiots with the collective brain-power of a lobotomized howler monkey.

    Exhibit A: “If your neighbor’s got an "Obama ’08" bumper sticker or lawn sign, you might want to double-check your door locks at night.”

    Sentence: Deported to China for wearing red T-shirt.

    Good shit.

  25. 25
    South of I-10 says:

    @LauraW: Did you see Renee Zellwegger? I hope her face is not frozen that way. I muted Spielberg after what felt like 20 minutes.

  26. 26
    erez says:

    Kay (17)-
    How about a Larry Craig type encounter in a Minneapolis airport bathroom?

  27. 27
    raholco says:

    Who sez the truth won’t set you free-or at least make you laugh your ass off.

    Plaxico Buress to the Lions-now THAT’s cold.

    2007’s was also a hoot as well.

  28. 28
    scarshapedstar says:

    I’ve been checking their site every day for the past two weeks, waiting for this list. Thank fuckin’ god. Now, where’s my Astroglide…

  29. 29
    Ed Marshall says:

    "You lost me at de" was actually Mickey Kaus of all people.

  30. 30
    Laura W says:

    @South of I-10: No, blessedly. She’s like Joe Scumborough in drag for me…slits for eyes, shiny face. I was trying to find ya a you tube of Kathy Griffin ripping on Renee and bring it back to ya, but alas.
    There are some gorgeous women in this audience tonight.

  31. 31
    J.D. Rhoades says:

    That is some first class spleen right there.

  32. 32
    South of I-10 says:

    I don’t want to ruin it for anyone if the Golden Globes are delayed, but the Best Actor speech is quite entertaining.

  33. 33
    Incertus says:

    @kay: Caught in a Denver hotel room getting a massage with Pastor Ted?

  34. 34
    kay says:

    @erez:

    That would do it, of course, with his audience, I suppose. You don’t get two of those, though. Craig was a fluke, and the whole bathroom-monitor idea makes me uncomfortable.

    Sean’s just horrible. His too-close-together eyes, and his face all contorted with rage. I woke up one day and everyone in the country knew who he was, and he had fans and a radio show, and offered commentary. I wasn’t prepared.
    I saw Limbaugh coming. That was gradual. I had time to adapt.

  35. 35
    demimondian says:

    "Lost me at de" is indeed Mickey Kaus. It’s here on September 19, 2008.

  36. 36
    demimondian says:

    @Incertus: Nah. That would be put down as simply Hannity doing on the job research.

    Getting caught selling News Corp. stock short, now…that would be a career-ender.

  37. 37
    kay says:

    @demimondian:
    I’m great with financial, but I don’t think it meets the pundit scandal-standard. Morning Joe. High bar.
    I was thinking of a "patriotic crime". Something flag-related? It just has to alienate his audience. No one else has to care. It probably won’t even have to be illegal.
    Scarf-wearing is not illegal, or even immoral. They were going to boycott.

  38. 38
    demimondian says:

    @kay: Pictures of him pissing on a flag at a drunken party thirty years ago?

  39. 39
    vishnu schizt says:

    @demimondian:

    Yup there on the 12th, Oh well…. shit even the blind squirrel…..

  40. 40
    jack fate says:

    @scarshapedstar: Me, too. I look forward to it all year.

    I love that rag and can remember when it was a free, bi-weekly paper littering almost every bar and club in Western New York – except the one’s they were banned from for one reason or another. I didn’t know anything about The eXile or Matt Taibbi at the time, but the "balls of steel" and absurd quality was mind blowing. Especially as something that was actually being published in Buffalo and was, at the time, largely dedicated to local issues.

    Anyone who hasn’t come across this list before, I recommend that you put aside some time and read the previous years’ lists. Seriously.

  41. 41
    Tymannosourus says:

    Bachmann is pure nightmare fuel. She makes me more ashamed of MN than Jesse Ventura, our airport restrooms and the Vikings SB record combined.

  42. 42
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    Oh, come on. Do you really believe that Barack Obama and Keith Olberman deserve the same opprobrium that Michelle Bachman and Sean Hannity do?

    I don’t. Imagine what television news looks like without Olbermann: there are two liberals with TV shows and he’s responsible for both.

  43. 43
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    And Frank Caliendo makes me laugh.

  44. 44
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    24. Plaxico Burress

    Sentence: Traded to Detroit Lions.

    L

    O

    L

  45. 45
    hal says:

    Am I missing something with the Obama one? They criticize him for back tracking on specific issues, I get that, then defend the guy in several other posts; Hannity, Pumas etc. I guess the point with the Obama post is the claim it’s all the same, not really change at all? But that claim strikes me as not very original in and of itself.

  46. 46
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    I pick Sean Hannity, who I’ve loathed since Schiavo. I have considered under what set of circumstances his career would have to end. I’m still trying to come up with something career-ending, but not life-threatening.

    It’s easy: if he became a liberal, that would be it for him. Fox would "not renew" his contract and his audience would abandon him.

  47. 47
    AnneLaurie says:

    Sean Hannity… I have considered under what set of circumstances his career would have to end. I’m still trying to come up with something career-ending, but not life-threatening.

    The Secret Service requests that Sean be legally restricted from approaching within 10,000 feet of the President. When the judge demands a reason, the courtroom is sealed, but "someone" leaks the Obama wank-fics Sean’s been trading with Jeff Gannon online. As a bonus, Joe Lieberman’s political career is FINALLY ended when one of the Firedoglake readers discovers JL’s comment offering "gym shower" shots of Barak in return for some of Rupert Murdoch’s triple-XXX Dubya/Gannon pics.

  48. 48
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Sean Hannity… I have considered under what set of circumstances his career would have to end. I’m still trying to come up with something career-ending, but not life-threatening.

    Shawn Hannity comes clean, admits that he has always been a liberal and reveals that George Bush was blackmailing him to be a rabid wingnut show host or Bush would leak pictures the CIA obtained of Shawn snorting coke off the asses of two male midgets, blowing a goat and then finishing off the night by tearing a piece off of a little ewe he has stashed in the hotel bathroom.

    His last gasp hope of saving his ass by pretending to be a liberal ends when it is pointed out that he really is a ratfucking PUMA.

    Works for me!

  49. 49
    OriGuy says:

    @Incertus: What about pictures of Hannity at a Nevada brothel? NSFW. Ok, the pictures are, but the rest of the website may not be.

  50. 50
    dmsilev says:

    Poor Joe Biden, always left off the good lists. Especially seeing as Sarah Palin (deservedly) snagged the top spot. Maybe he would have made the cut if there were 51 names.

    -dms

  51. 51
    cokane says:

    I thought the Joe the Plumber one was excellent

  52. 52
    priscianus jr says:

    The ones you picked out are good — but when I went to the link and the first name I see on the list of 50 Most Loathesome People of 2008 is "Barack Obama," sorry, that was it for me. Look, you don’t have to think Obama is the Messiah and you can be as critical as you like, but if you really think Obama belongs on the same list with Michelle Bachmann, Sean Hannity,you’re either not being funny, or you’re just an asshole.

  53. 53
    burnspbesq says:

    As the parent of a teen, I must protest. Stephanie Meyer should be much higher than number 31.

  54. 54
    Thoroughly Pizzled says:

    Don’t worry about Obama’s presence on the list. It’s an unspoken requirement that the list offend everyone. See 2007, "The Troops," and "The Founding Fathers."

  55. 55
    Comrade Darkness says:

    "40. Free Credit Report.com guy"

    What are these ads of which everyone speaks? I watch TV. I pull up a show on my mythtv box and watch stuff all the time. There aren’t any ads…

  56. 56
    John PM says:

    My favorite was Scalia:

    30. Antonin Scalia

    Charges: The bullet-shaped conservative justice should have stuck to his old policy of not allowing anyone to record him, because the more we see of him, the worse he seems. Scalia drew back the curtain on his legendary mind last April on "60 Minutes," revealing the legal acumen of a gibbon with a Magic 8-ball. Asked about the legal atrocity of Bush v. Gore, Nino bravely replied, "Gee, I really don’t want to get into, I mean this is—get over it, it’s so old by now." This about a 2000 decision, perhaps the least legally defensible in recent history, which has had and will continue to have an incalculable impact on this country and the world. Scalia has sebaceous cysts older than Bush v. Gore. But it was Scalia’s asinine, compartmentalized semantic parsing on torture that we hoped would give pause to his lionizers. Arguing that torture isn’t "cruel and unusual punishment" because the subject hasn’t been convicted of a crime, so he can’t be "punished," the so-called Constitutional Originalist puts the framers in the awkward position of saying that it’s wrong to beat up a convicted criminal, but it’s just dandy to kick the shit out of him before he is even charged.

  57. 57
    R-Jud says:

    @burnspbesq:

    Stephanie Meyer should be much higher than number 31.

    This, times a billion.

  58. 58
    Comrade Darkness says:

    I guess I can rest easy that my reaction to @burnspbesq was: is this stephanie person hannah montana’s agent, or something?

  59. 59
    Mike G says:

    George W. Bush

    Charges: It’s hard—believe us, we know—to keep coming up with new things to say about this brutally stupid narcissist, who may have ruined this country irrevocably and certainly has ruined a couple of others, mugging amiably all the way. If anything good comes from Bush’s reign of error, let it be the death of the notion that vitally important, life or death decisions that affect the entire world should be made with one’s “gut.” We used to think that incompetence was just a good cover story for this administration, an excuse that masked their deliberate criminality, but it turns out that Bush and his inner circle are both treasonous, corrupt warmongers and inept fools. One good thing about him, though, is that he has no real interest in politics, and probably won’t give a flying shoe what happens to the world when his term is up. As he once put it, ““History, we don’t know. We’ll all be dead.” Here’s to George W. Bush being history.

    Exhibit A: "Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter."

    Sentence: Detained in formaldehyde-laced FEMA trailer without charges or counsel, sodomized by Lynndie England, declared guilty by military tribunal, set adrift naked on a small ice floe in the Arctic.

    This is a better Chimp retrospective than any I’ve read from the gasbag corporate media.

  60. 60
    Katharsis says:

    @Kay 17

    Gets his show canceled and replaced by Keith Olbermann after controversy ensues about his associations with communist leaning parties.

  61. 61
    Paula says:

    Are a couple of people actually cheesed that Obama made no. 50?? I don’t know if most people allow an implication of "loathsome" into "frustrating", but he’s definitely been both to me at various times this year.

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