Palin Rendered In Verse

Let it roll over you.

Gah!
Nothing specific right now.
Sitting here in these chairs
that I’m going to be proposing
but
in working with these governors who
again on the front lines
are forced to
and it’s our privileged obligation
to find solutions
to the challenges facing our own states
every day
being held accountable,
not being just one of many
just casting votes
or voting present every once
in a while, we don’t
get away with that.
We have to balance budgets
and we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets
and tens of thousands of employees
in our organizations.

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49 replies
  1. 1
    dewberry says:

    Gah!

    Why is it
    all Palin
    all the time
    on the teevee?

    Isn’t it time for a winter hibernation or something?

  2. 2
    jeffreyw says:

    sarah palin
    flailin
    puts sprinkles
    on my donut

  3. 3
    cleek says:

    allow me to offer this, from four weeks ago…

  4. 4

    Also
    Also
    Also
    Also
    Though
    But!
    Youbetcha

  5. 5
    Jim Downey says:

    Sarah Palin Eyes.*

    *to the tune of Betty Davis Eyes. Apologies to Kim Carnes.

    ***********************************

    She’s in Reagan’s mold
    McCain’s big surprise
    She won’t be undersold
    She’s got Sarah Palin eyes

    She’ll turn her bullshit on you
    You won’t get to think twice
    She’s the Right Wing show
    She’s got Sarah Palin eyes

    The rest of it is at the source cited.

  6. 6
    demimondian says:

    Wow.

    You know, Tim,
    Rendered in verse,
    The flow of her
    Thoughts

    Such as they are.

    Is transparent.
    Eloquent.
    And almost English.

    Such as we speak.

    Yet,
    Also,
    And Again.
    She is a moron.

    Such as we knew.

  7. 7
    Tom Hilton says:

    I’m like
    OK, God, if
    there is an open door
    for me somewhere
    this is what I always pray

    I’m like
    don’t let me miss
    the open door. Show me
    where the open door is.

    Even if it’s
    cracked up a little
    bit, maybe I’ll
    plow right on through
    that and maybe prematurely
    plow through it
    but don’t let me miss
    an open door.

    And if there is
    an open door in
    (20)12 or four years later
    and if it is something
    that is going to be good
    for my family
    for my state
    for my nation
    an opportunity for me

    then I’ll plow through that door.

    (That’s only part of the quote; the rest is here.)

  8. 8
    Keith says:

    Gah! I misread the title to read "Palin Rendered in Reverse" and figured someone took one of her rants and reversed the phrases. As I read it, I was thinking "Yeah, it’s pretty disjointed but surprisingly pretty close to how Palin’s sentences generally sound – i.e. cut/pasted with a speechwriter’s version of ProTools.
    It’s as if someone is discussing a book s/he didn’t read, but I expect little more from someone who basically won some political version of American Idol

  9. 9

    Well, it works better in verse, but it’s no less frightening that this woman was an actual serious contender for high office. What does that even mean and why do they keep showing her on my teevee?

  10. 10
    Comrade Scrutinizer says:

    Words from a blender
    As snow falls on dark tundra.
    Governess unhinged.

  11. 11
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Not to mention progressing America, also.

  12. 12
    MNPundit says:

    Gah!

    I must see
    the youtube of this because
    though she is mad
    she is pathetically
    cute

    A dumb puppy
    in heels and
    an updo.

  13. 13
    Joe Beese says:

    Since she’s gonna be the new Reagan and all that fierceness, take a moment and reflect how she is less articulate in unscripted speech than was a septuagenarian with Alzheimer’s.

  14. 14
    MarkusB says:

    Nice job on the verse.

    I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop. How did this woman not get elected? Whatever happened to Murphy’s Law?

    Well done, America, you avoided suicide, at least this time.

  15. 15
    Joe Beese says:

    BTW, did MyIQ ever dare to show his face here after last Tuesday? [I remember him fondly from my pre-banning days at CorrenteWire.] Or is he still hiding behind riverdaughter’s skirts?

  16. 16
    dancinfool says:

    I think the English teacher who taught Sarah Palin about participles should be shot.

  17. 17
    Comrade Scrutinizer says:

    @Tom Hilton:
    There’s a kind of Sylvia Plathness to your version.

  18. 18
    Joshau Norton says:

    On NBC’s "Today" show, Palin said she was surprised when McCain and his top advisers refused to allow her to make introductory remarks before his concession speech.

    "I thought . . . Jeez, let’s do something a little bit out of the box here," she said.

    Mmmmm, Folksy. Now stop it. Stop it right now.
    You lost — get over yourself.

    Also, I would like to inform Ms. Palin I never go down into my parents’ basement. Its haunted.

  19. 19
    Laura W says:

    It was
    a collaborative effort
    there
    in deciding how do we start bringing
    up
    some of the associations
    that
    perhaps
    would be impacting on
    an administration,
    on the future of
    America.
    But again,
    though,
    Wolf,
    knowing that it really — at this point,
    I don’t want to point fingers
    backwards
    and play the blame game,
    certainly,
    on anything that took place
    in terms of
    strategy
    or messaging
    in the campaign.

    Now
    is the time
    to move forward
    together,
    start progressing
    America.

    "There is Purpose in Everything" – S. Palin, 11/12/08

  20. 20
    Zifnab says:

    A woman from Wasallia once
    The VP-ship desperately hunts
    Will get on TV
    In front of Katie
    And quickly prove herself a dunce

    The public will stare on in shock
    And flee to her rival, Barack
    But thou the race she loses
    In GOoPer bought shoeses
    She’ll haunt cable news round the clock

  21. 21
    boonagain says:

    1/2 MYIQ showed up today briefly on some thread or another.

  22. 22
    John Cole says:

    Chauncey Gardiner without the charisma.

  23. 23
    boonagain says:

    As Putin rears his head
    and comes
    into the air space of the United States of America,
    where– where do they go?
    It’s Alaska.
    It’s just right over the border

  24. 24
    Joshau Norton says:

    Palin Haiku:

    Is that Tina Fey?
    Because this is comic gold.
    Wait, she’s serious?

  25. 25
    EdTheRed says:

    PALIN:
    He’s also known as the maverick though
    Taking shots from his own party,
    and certainly taking shots
    from the other party. Trying
    to get people to understand
    what he’s been talking about–
    the need to reform government.

    CHORUS:
    I’m just going to ask you one more time,
    not to belabor the point:
    Specific examples
    in his 26 years of pushing
    for more regulation?

    PALIN:
    I’ll try to find ya some
    and I’ll bring ‘em to ya.

  26. 26
    Batocchio says:

    Well done. The scary thing is, it works better that way.

    Reminds me of the Rumsfeld poetry, which was later put to music.

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    Rendered in verse, Palin’s vapidness becomes almost transcendental. Call it the Tao Te Chump.

  29. 29
    Tom Hilton says:

    @Comrade Scrutinizer:

    I was thinking generic New Yorker, but Plath works too.

  30. 30
    Esther says:

    A wee bit of an OT break from all the doggerel to note that Chuck Norris has written a letter to Obama…

  31. 31
  32. 32
    DMcK says:

    What does that even mean and why do they keep showing her on my teevee?

    I believe she’s comparing the rigors of her tough, experience-building job as Queen of Alaska with that of those goldbricking layabouts in Congress (like her running mate, I guess). Like, "Jeez, I got ta find those solutions…they just got ta vote every once in a while!"

  33. 33
    Louise says:

    Oh, the Rumsfeld poetry! That was classic stuff. Now all someone needs to do is create a 2-character opera with Don and Sarah. Just hum along!

    "I would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. I think the past was not predictable when it started."

    "Absolutely. Yup, yup."

    "I believe what I said yesterday. I don’t know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it’s what I said."

    "In what respect, Charlie?"

    By the way, thank you to everyone who participated in the Armando Roast And Pie Eating Event earlier today. The thread was just the therapy I needed this evening.

  34. 34
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    @John Cole:
    Thanks for sharing the terror, John. Really.

  35. 35
  36. 36
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    @MarkusB:

    I think you mean the Peter Principle.

  37. 37
    Comrade Scrutinizer says:

    @John Cole: Sometimes its best to not look into the abyss.

  38. 38
    Shaggy says:

    The woman never opens her mouth without spewing disdain in Obama’s very specific direction, all the while armoring her snide expressions with that disingenuous folkspeak and a smile that would’ve scared Kubrick.

    She reminds me of every bitter, unhappy, phony, power-hungry woman I’ve ever met.

  39. 39
    lutton says:

    I think it is sooooo freakin’ hillarious that James Wolcott keeps referencing this site…

    http://www.vanityfair.com/onli.....liant.html

  40. 40
    AnneLaurie says:

    … but I expect little more from someone who basically won some political version of American Idol

    So, can we expect her to show up in a giant faux-Mohawk for next week’s episode?

  41. 41
    Rix says:

    You mentioned education
    and I’m glad you did.
    I know education
    you are passionate about
    with your wife bein’ a teacher
    for 30 years,
    and god bless her.
    Her reward is in heaven,
    right?

  42. 42
    mcconnor says:

    That’s why I say,
    I like
    every American I’m speaking with
    we’re ill
    about this position
    that we have been put in
    where it is the tax payers
    looking
    to
    bailout.

    But ultimately,
    what the bailout does
    is help
    those who are concerned about
    the health care
    reform that is needed
    to help
    shore up the economy

    – Helping the —

    Oh, it’s got to be
    about job creation
    too.
    Shoring up our economy
    and putting it
    back
    on the right track.

    So health care reform
    and reducing taxes
    and reining in spending
    has got to
    accompany tax reductions
    and tax relief
    for Americans.

    And trade
    we’ve got to see
    trade
    as opportunity, not
    as a competitive scary thing.
    But
    1 in 5 jobs being created
    in the trade sector today.
    We’ve got to look
    at
    that as more opportunity.
    All those things
    under
    the umbrella of job creation.

    This bailout is a part of that.

  43. 43
    eyeball says:

    Palin seems to fall in line with a tiny number of demagogic American female state political figures. This makes me wonder whether we will be reading about her in history books as a seminal icon of the sort, since she has launched a national movement that embraces her strange blend of ignorance, hokum and venality.

    Palin is reminiscent of the nation’s 2d female governor, Miriam A. "Ma" Ferguson of Texas, who:

    – was elected after her husband was impeached on corruption charges and in essence allowed him to shadow gov and, more importantly, be the bag man for their crime syndicate.

    – was investigated by texas state legisl for selling prison pardons for cash (think Deadwood-style politics) and for granting New Deal state highway contracts only to companies that advertised in the Fergusons’ newspaper, "Ferguson Forum.’

    Old Ma Ferguson is credited with the quote: “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it ought to be good enough for the children of Texas." I truly can’t wait for Palin to pop this one.

  44. 44
    Matthew says:

    I find she works best in the style of e.e. cummings. Apologies for using the original "poem" but:

    Gah!

    Nothing
    (specific right now.)

    Sitting here in these chairs
    that
    I’m
    (going to be) proposing

    BUT

    in working with these governors who

    (again on the front lines) are forced to

    AND

    it’s our privileged obligation
    to find solutions
    to the challenges facing our own states

    (every day)

    being held accountable,

    NOT being just one of many
    just casting votes
    (or voting present every once
    in a while, we don’t
    get away with that.)

    we have to
    balance
    budgets (we’re dealing with multibillion dollar budgets)

    and tens of thousands of employees
    in our organizations.

  45. 45
    mak says:

    This
    needs to be
    a regular
    feature.
    Also.

  46. 46

    […] if it didn’t. Her sentences seem to be missing vital ligaments when she speaks, yielding a concrete poetry similar to Rumsfeld’s musings but with nil intellectual content (Rumsfeld’s known […]

  47. 47
    Mary from CT says:

    Okay, I admit it –
    I’m an Orwell geek!
    Won’t someone start a service
    That translates PalinSpeak?

  48. 48
    Mary from CT says:

    Palin as VP?
    Then 2012 TopCat?
    Oh, Gawd … Ah’ll ask ya
    Wasill(y)a than that?

  49. 49

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