Happy Halloween

One of the hazards of being the son of two English teachers is that this sort of thing happens while you are growing up:

Your host, dressed up for Halloween as… Ernest Hemingway.

Top that, Mr. Roasted Rump.

95 replies
  1. 1
    Gringo Starr says:

    "Earnest" Hemingway? Was he known for wearing his heart on his sleeve? :P

  2. 2
    Comrade Stuck says:

    I be speechless.

  3. 3
    JGabriel says:

    Studs Terkel:

    I was just watching Alan Greenspan, he’s an idiot, and by the way so was Ayn Rand!

    I blame Ayn Rand for just about everything. I feel like I’ve lost a kindred soul.

    RIP, Studs.


  4. 4
    Zifnab says:


  5. 5
    greynoldsct00 says:

    You moved up from being a bum at least

  6. 6
    Jennifer says:

    Oh my. I think I have a crush on you now.

  7. 7
    JGabriel says:

    Just had a comment marked as Spam. Please liberate?


  8. 8
    Ned R. says:

    Hey, at least it wasn’t the Idaho years.

  9. 9
    JL says:

    @JGabriel: Me too! My first thought was that he would have loved to watch the returns on Tuesday.

  10. 10
    Comrade Stuck says:

    I guess the High-Water boots were for crossing the Nile in search of Rino to waste.

  11. 11
    Kevin K. says:

    Oh shit, I’m heading out, but let me see if I can come up with something quick.

    (Note to self: buy a scanner.)

  12. 12
    Joe1347 says:

    Stand back – we don’t want any our your geekdom rubbing off on the rest of us.

  13. 13

    Ah, The Importance of Being Ernest.


  14. 14
    littlesky says:

    Yes, the resemblance is uncanny.

  15. 15
    Genine says:

    Awww, that’s so sweet! Such a cutie! A tall cutie… but a cutie nonetheless. :)

  16. 16
    KLG says:

    You look so cute! Could have been worse…but I’ll leave the suggestions to our imaginations.

  17. 17
    Krista says:

    Awww….that IS cute!

    Happy Halloween, everybody!

    /passes out freshly baked chocolate-chip cookies to blog commenters.

  18. 18
    Quaker in a Basement says:

    Raised by English majors and you still can’t spell Hemingway’s first name correctly?

    How old were you when they disowned you?

    UPDATE: Bah! No fair! You fixed it.

  19. 19

    blink blink blink

    Hemingway? Did you have any say in the matter?

  20. 20
    John Cole says:

    I caught the spelling error, and no they did not disown me.

    They just dressed me up as George Sand the next year as punishment.

  21. 21
    Jennifer says:

    In the spirit of things, I posted my own humiliation piece of history. Good times!

  22. 22
    mgordon says:

    Where’s the bottle of whiskey?

  23. 23

    Well Mr. Hemingway, I can only say you produced some very moving literature and had lovely granddaughters. Your diggs in Key West weren’t so bad either. ;)

  24. 24

    Where’s the bottle of whiskey?

    Thanks for bringing that up, I was sort of wondering if I should ask if John’s parents often made him impersonate heavy drinkers.

  25. 25
    Comrade Jake says:


    Wait a minute… your little brother went as Barack Obama in 1972? Holy prescience Batman!

  26. 26

    I caught the spelling error

    Crap, now my joke at 11 is meaningless.

    You think comedy writing is easy? Well, it’s NOT.

  27. 27
    HyperIon says:

    I did not know that Hem wore glasses. ;=)

  28. 28
    Laura W says:

    I knew your spelling, punctuation and grammar (and highfalutin words) were too good to be the result of your own efforts. Genetically predisposed, clearly.
    Were/are you a blond? Who knew?
    Add me to the list of Women for Cute John voters.

    Contrary to my earlier statement about no memory of any costume wearing ever, this brought back memories of a most unfortunate evening I have obviously repressed wherein I went to a costume party as Zelda Fitzgerald. It was "work related" and I do believe the birthday boy/host was also masquerading as E. Hemingway that evening.
    Because it turned into one of the worst nights of my life, for 1,008 reasons, I will simply say that in keeping with the Halloween theme, the bday boy could be called: "The Painter of Fright".

    Surely Tunch has a costume to share? Don’t tell me you are one of those people who believes that cats should not wear clothes?

  29. 29

    @John Cole: Um, John? That’s George*s* Sand.

  30. 30
    Laura W says:

    @Jennifer: That was so worth the click through. That’s a name I’ve not thought about for decades…Meadowlark Lemon.

  31. 31
    Jennifer says:

    @Comrade Jake: Yeah…he’s still a little brilliant that way. Seems he just bought stock in some sort of sea algae, for what it’s worth… ;-)

  32. 32

    They just dressed me up as George Sand the next year as punishment.

    They dressed you up?

    Hmm. This has become disturbing.

  33. 33
    smiley says:

    It was a cold night, My pith helmet barely covered the bald spot on the top of my head. My legs ached from the weight of the L.L. Bean boots that I wore as I slogged through the swamps of West Virginia. It was cold. Did I mention that it was cold? My heart ached. I wanted wire rimmed glasses like my friends. No one ever thought I would rat them out. Wrong. They all wear wire rimmed glasses….

  34. 34
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    Aww. You were one of those cornsilk blonds who darkened, eh?

  35. 35


    Where’s the bottle of whiskey?

    …or the young Cuban boy… /ducks, runs away

  36. 36
    Krista says:

    Well, I think that’s all the kids we’re getting tonight. We got 9 kids. I’m going to be bringing fun-sized Wunderbars to work all freaking week now.

  37. 37
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    One of the hazards of being the son of two English teachers is that this sort of thing happens while you are growing up:

    I died a little inside for you when I saw that. You are just damned lucky you didn’t grow up to be a lonely cat-owner whose only pasttimes are blogging and playing video games.

  38. 38
    Montysano says:

    You may have vanquished Mr. Rump Roast in the costume category, but when we move to Trick or Treat Buddies, he appears to have you whupped………. or am I assuming incorrectly?

  39. 39
    Montysano says:

    You may have vanquished Mr. Roast in the costumes competition, but when we move to the category of Trick or Treat Buddies, he may have you whupped……… or not, who knows?

  40. 40
    Lesley says:

    It’s getting harder and harder to imagine you as a Republican. Seriously dude. Hah!

  41. 41
    Zuzu's Petals says:


    I’m feeling the beginnings of a sniffle/cold…but am flying out at 6am to do voter protection work in Ohio. Meaning I will be spending a good amount of time outside. I can’t can’t can’t get sick !

    What to do? I did the netti pot, dosed myself with Vitamin C, don’t dare medicate myself too much to get up early for my flight ….

    Juicers, help!

  42. 42
    srv says:

    @HyperIon: Yep. Not as gay as Johns.

  43. 43
    ckennedy says:

    I was Beryl Markham once. No pictures, thankfully.

  44. 44
    Brian J says:

    In kindergarten, I went as a clown that actually won me an award. In second grade, I was a bag of jelly beans, which I repeated in fourth grade because it was so popular. In my senior year of college, I went as a gigantic penis, with hairy balls at the bottom, as a joke because of my nickname in my group of friends. This year, even though I don’t like Halloween, I’m going to a party, and I will be dressing up as God’s Gift to Women (I’m going to wear a box with wrapping paper, addressed to women, from God). Of course, if I can’t find that, I may just try to find some scrubs and go as a doctor.

  45. 45
    Wini says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: I was going to say a combo of EmergenC and Airborne… and would still recommend Airborne (EmergenC has lots o’ vitamins, but mostly Vitamin C, which it sounds like you’ve covered)

  46. 46
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    Krista, it was pretty damn mild here — 18 during the day, maybe 10 tonight — so I didn’t see a single snowsuit, and quite a few fairy princesses. But turnout was way down compared to last year, so I’m going to be bringing a huge pile of Reese’s Pieces to class tomorrow.

    Maybe there’s an inverse correlation between Canuck Halloween turnout and American voting turnout. That would be nice.

  47. 47
    Zuzu's Petals says:


    Ah right, I do have Airborne, thanks for reminding me.

    Am packing the Vitamin C and Thera Flu…

    Also drank a glass of wheat grass juice for good measure. What could it hurt.

  48. 48
    John Cole says:

    Zinc, Vitamin C, fluids, and sleep.

  49. 49
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @John Cole:

    Zinc. Right….shuffles through cabinet … sure I have some someplace.


    Update: Yep on the Cal/Mag/Zinc. Into the suitcase, too.

  50. 50
    John Cole says:

    Also drank a glass of wheat grass juice for good measure. What could it hurt.

    Your palate.

  51. 51
    Wini says:

    @Laura W: I definitely thought he would be a brunette… black hair, even.

    I met a co-worker for the first time a couple of days ago. We spent 2+ years communicating via email and phone; I never would have guessed he looked the way he does. Funny how that happens.

  52. 52
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @John Cole:

    No kidding. The worst is it’s the powdered stuff so you don’t even get the big hit of fresh.

    Ah well.

  53. 53
    Wini says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: And kudos for doing what you’re doing. I, too, wanted to do voter protection on Tuesday, but first they wanted people for 15 hrs (couldn’t get away from work), and then the shorter shifts were filled… so, I may do something on the phones related to voter protection?

  54. 54
    Zuzu's Petals says:


    Excellent ! I know they can use phonebankers for GOTV, but you could check with your local headquarters to see what might be needed on Tuesday.

    I do know you have to take a training for the voter protection stuff.

  55. 55
    Comrade Stuck says:

    18 during the day, maybe 10 tonight—

    Brrrrrrrrrrrr Humbug! I don’t how you Polar Bears stand living up there in that icebox. I spent two winters in Montana a long time ago, and still haven’t completely thawed out. It was 75 today in the high NM desert. Shorts, sunglasses and iced tea weather.

  56. 56
    Blue Raven says:

    Zuzu, if you can, get the zinc solution that you swab or spray into your nose. Following the directions will spare your sense of smell from overload and the stuff gets into your system faster.

  57. 57
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Blue Raven:

    Thanks, I’ll look for something at the airport in the morning…don’t want to go back out in the rain and cold tonight.

  58. 58
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Yeah, kudus to all you folks who are out there helping Obama get elected. Mrs. Fuckhead has been volunteering at the local Obama office since I sent her down to get a sign.

    Me, I’ve been donating money and trying to keep my road rage incidents down to one a day since I got the big new Obama bumpersticker.

  59. 59
    Wini says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: The phone work would be related to voter protection… it’s the VP Hotline.

    …and, as of 2 min. ago, I’m officially signed up for the 6:30-9:00 a.m. shift

  60. 60
    Wini says:

    @Just Some Fuckhead: hahaha! I also feel a sense of duty to handle myself more appropriately since I have 2 on my car.

  61. 61

    Mmmmph! Bwahahaha!


    That’s cute.


    Sorry. Original costumes are the best.

  62. 62
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Hemingway? Boy you sure were cerebral as a kid, eh? Obviously a sign of the Democrat hidden in you. ; )

    I saw Charlie Rose on Hardball, and in response to Tweety asking him about his position (and if he could be wrong about it) that McCain and Palin will lose and Obama will win, Rose said (not exact quote)

    … if that happens (McCain wins) I will be asking would you like fries with that or … paper or plastic?

    I laughed my ass off at that.

  63. 63
    Comrade Stuck says:

    Me, I’ve been donating money and trying to keep my road rage incidents down to one a day since I got the big new Obama bumpersticker.

    In 2004, I decided not to put a Kerry sticker on and then have to remove it after the election. Instead, I sent off for an oversize permanent sticker on the truck that says "Don’t Blame Me I voted Democrat" Our county is 3 to 1 democrat, so the wingnuts keep a low profile.

  64. 64
    Laura W says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Doesn’t sound like you’re into OTC stuff, but they have their places, esp. if you start suffering fast. I always start out all Chinese medicine herbal, vitamin/holistic, and then I go running for OTC stuff when the pain is too great and I can’t sleep or breathe. My personal faves:

    1) Advil Cold and Sinus
    2) Vapo Rub
    3) Cough Supressant (Robittusin DM or generic equivalent). Something to deal with the cough that keeps you up at night but that doesn’t have acetomeniphin (Tylenol) in it because ibuprofen is way better and you shouldn’t co-mingle.

    (Not gonna spell check all these words underlined in red tonight because, really, does it matter?)
    Hope you can email us from the trenches.
    Be safe!

  65. 65
    Zuzu's Petals says:


    Whoo-hoo! There’s a deposit in the good karma bank for sure!

  66. 66
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Laura W:

    Oh, I have a cabinet full of OTC stuff, no problem there.

    I have the equivalent of most of that stuff, though I have the feeling it’s not gonna be a cough kinda thing. Actually, I am going to give myself a big affirmation and say it’s not gonna be anything at all! Yes, I’m going to be feeling terrific the whole time !

    But I will toss a few of those things in the suitcase just in case.


    And PS, yes, I will definitely try to find a computer to keep up with my BJ addiction !

  67. 67
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    In 2004, I decided not to put a Kerry sticker on and then have to remove it after the election. Instead, I sent off for an oversize permanent sticker on the truck that says "Don’t Blame Me I voted Democrat" Our county is 3 to 1 democrat, so the wingnuts keep a low profile.

    I can only imagine what that must be like. I live in Right Wingtardia.

  68. 68
  69. 69
    Laura W says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: OK, I hear you and won’t put any hexes on your positive vibes but…I had my first cold in over two years after Labor Day and while I thought it was just a little, quick head cold that would NEVER turn into a chest cold…er… I learned that there is nothing more magical than Vapo Rub on the chest and neck when you are dying…and that never again would I go without Advil cold and sinus; Advil PM; and a cough suppressant in my medicine chest EVER.
    NOT that this is going to be the case with you at all.
    But just in case, you will be so happy with yourself if you do stock up for the worst case scenario.
    Not that you’ll need it.

  70. 70

    OMG, the sidebars are killing me. Hugh News – News with Huge Spewitt, and "Michelle Malkin is a national treasure" quote not attributed.

    And who the fuck is Bill Whittle? Is that a real name?

    Sofaking lame.

  71. 71
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Laura W:

    Well, as I just kicked a chest cold that required antibiotics to quell, I definitely won’t take any chances.

    Thanks !

  72. 72
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    Err, Comrade Stuck, up here we do things the Commie metric way. So 18 is about 64 F and 10 is about 50 F. That really is mild for the end of October.

    That said, I’ll be out on my bike this winter when it gets to 10 or 20 below (14 F or -4 F). That is going to be damn nippy, you betcha!

  73. 73
    Michelle says:

    There is a reason to distrust the internets.

    Nice photo, but who really cares.

    This internet blog thing means that you can’t trust anyone.

    This blog thing means you trust yourself and no one else.

    LauraW, who do you trust?

  74. 74
  75. 75
    Comrade Stuck says:

    Err, Comrade Stuck, up here we do things the Commie metric way. So 18 is about 64 F and 10 is about 50 F.

    LOL, Please forgive, we’re really new to the commie stuff in the Trickle Down Empire. I’m sure Obama will fix that soon. Before you know it, we’ll be saying first down and 6 meters to go. It’ll take a little longer for Steeler fans to catch on though. :)

  76. 76
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    I’m out in the garage on the laptop and working on a guitar. My wife came out to tell me that a father and his young daughter came to trick or treat and he commented that he liked my wife’s hair (she is dressed up as the animated Esurance lady in their commercials) and asked if it was real. She said no, it’s a wig. He said Good, don’t do what I did.

    She asked him what color his hair was (he was at the bottom of the steps) and he said red. She asked ‘doesn’t it wash out?’, to which he responded:

    No, it’s enamel for used for painting engines.

    By this time, she was just about choking from laughter as she described walking down to see a closeup of a crew cut, spiky red with air bubbles trapped in the finish.

    He used red spray paint. I am speechless. Ok, maybe he’s a McCain supporter. ; )

  77. 77

    @Conservatively Liberal: The only way this story could be better is if he was also smoking.

    Mr. Darwin. Paging Mr. Darwin. You’re wanted on Line 2.

  78. 78
    Teak+7 says:

    The Short Happy Life of Francis McComber?


    I ain’ t putting all that HTML in the link!

  79. 79
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    @kommrade jakevich:

    No shit…lol! I told her what you said and she told me that he had a drink (of the alcoholic variety) in his hand. Drinking while taking his kid out for Halloween.

    His remaining brain cell must be singing One is the loneliest number…

  80. 80
    South of I-10 says:

    I am back from trick or treating with Supergirl. Total drama queen. She accumulated enough candy for about 10 children. Please get all this candy out of my house.

  81. 81
    DougJ says:

    I’d respect you more if you hadn’t photoshopped William Ayers out of the picture.

  82. 82
    nikkinikki says:

    This picture made my day.

  83. 83
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    I can’t believe it.

    I heard a huge thud against my door … I mean huge … and discovered that someone had thrown a big honkin’ pumpkin at it full blast. Happened to my neighbor too.

    A thought occurred to me later and I went out to look … sure enough, my Obama sign had been stolen. Not any of my other neighbors’ though. Weird. Very weird.

  84. 84
    Comrade Stuck says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    I can’t believe it.

    Sorry that happened to you Zuzu. Sounds like some of Sarah’s roaches practicing their free speech from the shadows like the brainless cowards they are. Fuck them all with a rusty shovel.

  85. 85
    Zuzu's Petals says:

    @Comrade Stuck:

    Thanks. It’s actually the first time I’ve ever been vandalized on H’ween.

    The weirdest part about the sign thing is that Obama signs outnumber McCain signs in this neighborhood by maybe 40 to 1. So it’s pretty much a big duh.

    But now I’m psyched to fight !

  86. 86
    YellowJournalism says:

    Coolest costume of the night so far was the little girl dressed as Einstein. If I’d seen a kid dressed as Hemingway, I would have given him/her the entire bowl of candy.

    OMG. My local weatherwoman is dressed as Sarah Palin. Not only that, she’s doing the entire forecast AS Palin. "Canada? Where’s that?" And she just called our province a state. Sadly, that’s probably too close to reality for me.

  87. 87
    cain says:

    A thought occurred to me later and I went out to look … sure enough, my Obama sign had been stolen. Not any of my other neighbors’ though. Weird. Very weird.

    Three things happened to me.

    1) A cute little orangey cat came into the house uninvited and made itself at home with the wet cat food I had. Then proceeded to explore the house. Much to the consternation of my other two cats. Bold little thing. Hardly weighed anything. We were immediately jealous of any owner had such a cat. She was beautiful and so bold!

    2) Kids were yay’ing for Obama after seeing our sign.

    3) some bastard stole our sign. :( That sign was there since May! Now I gotta get another one. Totally sucks. We’re canvassing for Obama tomorrow so I’m hoping to get a sign again.

    Cat was cute though. Made my day!

  88. 88
    Darkrose says:

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Sorry, Zuzu–that sucks!

    My trick with no treat came over the phone, when the Yes on 8 asshats called. I’m actually proud of myself for not screaming at the girl–I just told her that she had the wrong house, and that Prop 8 was hurtful and wrong.

  89. 89
    Jason says:

    They didn’t let you go out with a bottle of gin in your hand?

  90. 90
    Comrade grumpy realist says:

    For those of you putting out treats, you might offer fruit as well. A friend of mine down in Austin told me that she had a tray of grape snippets and a bowl of wrapped candy mini-bars. Said the kids went more for the grapes than the mini-bars. (YMMV–this IS Austin…)

  91. 91
    scott says:

    That’s OK, Hemingway is a great costume. Plus, you could use it the following year and go as Henry M. Stanley.

    I too am the son of two English teachers and when I was twelve I went as Billy Budd for fucks sake — think about that for a moment or two and then pity me for the adulthood that resulted from episodes of that nature.

  92. 92

    So you were not Dr. Livingston, I presumed? Glad you cleared that up.

  93. 93
    Zuzu's Petals says:


    I hope this is not too personal of a question, but were you out trick-or-treating last night, with someone wearing a purple spider hat?

    If so, we may be neighbors.

  94. 94
    boilerman10 says:

    Hopefully, the folks did not make you sing "Hooray for Captain Spaulding," or a round with "Hello, I Must Ge Going."

    Aside from that, John…it was unique.

  95. 95
    Birdzilla says:

    I went out made a bird mask had these wing on my arms and I WAS A FLU-BIRD

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