Paging John Derbyshire- Cleanup In the Gushing Fanboi Aisle

This, from NRO’s Rich Lowry, is just spectacular:

Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I’m sure I’m not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, “Hey, I think she just winked at me.” And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

Rainbowbrite may lite up the screen, but does she shoot starbursts and sparkle like Palin? I think not!

By now you have all seen that Lowry quote (I have seen it at least five places), but as an amateur historian of sorts as a blogger, I felt it was necessary to add to the archives for posterity. I guarantee that Derbyshire poured four fingers of Maker’s Mark into his coffee when he read that baby this morning.

The final word on this goes to Mr. Wolcott:

Good thing Palin didn’t blow a kiss at the camera or Lowry might have fucking fainted. I’m not a licensed psychotherapist but when you think the people on TV are addressing you personally and directly it’s often a sign of incipient dementia.

I confess to being immune to Palin’s contrived charms. Everything about her strikes me as phony–she possesses about as much depth as aluminum siding. And I wasn’t surprised to read that Gwen Ifill was a dud as a moderator–her vaunted reputation is one of those Beltway myths, like David Broder’s mantle of judiciousness.

114 replies
  1. 1
    Stuck in the Fun House says:

    And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing

    He means the smile that say’s fuck with me and I’ll do something stupid.

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    That was wingnut drool getting caught in the fan.

  2. 2
    4tehlulz says:

    Derb was too busy with lolicon hentai other things to comment.

  3. 3
    SGEW says:

    I stand by my previous comment.

  4. 4
    Eric U. says:

    You really don’t have to read that crap just for us, you really don’t.

    I think this explains a lot about how large businesses are run in this country. Up is downism explains a lot of stupid decision.

  5. 5
    Joshau Norton says:

    The closer reality is Palin is like chocolate mousse. The first few tastes are really enjoyable, but after that it starts to get cloying and borderline nauseating.

    Today’s "cutesy" is tomorrow’s annoying habit – and a pending "Cops" episode.

    Been there – done that.

  6. 6
    Montysano (All Hail Marx & Lennon) says:

    Lowry lights a cigarette, leans back and puts his feet up on his desk and thinks "Nailed it!".

  7. 7
    Comrade Kevin says:

    I think I’m going to be ill.

  8. 8
    Joshua says:

    This is right up there with Assrocket’s "it must be very strange to be President Bush" quote…

    okay, it’s not, but that says more about Assrocket than Lowry.

  9. 9
    D. Mason says:

    Look you can’t really blame the guy. Do you know how rare it is for a guy who spends all his time glued to an office chair in his moms basement to get winked at by an honest to god sexy woman? Sure he’s covered in dried splooge and Cheetos dust but Palin didn’t care about any of that. How could he not be a little bit woozy afterwards?

  10. 10
    DonkeyKong says:

    And the fact that she did’nt shit her pants over the 90 minute debate pumped scents of lavender and nitric oxide into evey wingnut livingroom.

    The soft bigotry of low expectations or the low bigotry of soft expectations or bigoted softness of expecting low.

  11. 11
    Matthew says:

    Luckily Biden was waving the white flag of surrender, so Lowry at least had something to ejaculate into.

    And I think you’ll find Derbyshire poured four fingers of coffee into his fifth of Maker’s Mark.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  12. 12
    ATinNM says:

    Ah, the insightful , penetrating, analysis of the Modern Conservative Intellectual:

    "Gosh-gee-WALLY! Her dun smiled @ ME!"

    (D’oh)

  13. 13
    BombIranForChrist says:

    Here is what I am a little confused about:

    Palin came out and supported equal rights for gay couples.

    Did Lowry like this bit? Or was he too ready fantasizing about asking Palin to the prom?

  14. 14

    Well, that didn’t count. The idea is, she’s going to be one aneurysm away from being President because what she says doesn’t matter and can be overruled by the men of the campaign, but somebody has to wink at Lowry and Joe Sixpack.

    The really interesting question is: she apparently CCs emails to her husband. Is she such a good rightwing Christian Dominionist babe that she defers to him and has to run her decisions by him, and through him, God?

    One thing about it- for all her faults, we didn’t have to worry about THAT from Clinton.

  15. 15
    Crusty Dem says:

    If there were online wagering for the winner of this year’s Golden Wingnut award, I’d bet the farm on Lowry. That’s going to be tough to top, even with McCain as the GOP candidate and all the idiots sporting POWood.

  16. 16
    solarjetman says:

    Maybe it was just the CNN HD feed, but she really was sparkling. As in, something about the video settings caused every little white reflection to be highlighted. Biden was also sparkling. A lot. It was a little migraine-inducing.

  17. 17
    DaveA says:

    Shorter Rich Lowry:

    Fap fap fap fap fap!

  18. 18
    Keith says:

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    Was he watching the debate or Rip Taylor on Hollywood Squares?

  19. 19

    Come to think of it, somewhere out there, Hillary Clinton has almost finished screaming and gnawing through her bonds. I would seriously pay money to see HER debate Palin. About anything. Hell, I’d pay to see them on a talk show. And we thought Hillary hated Obama by the time the primaries were over. This has got to be grounds for some sort of terrible Clintonian vengeance, and it couldn’t happen to a ditzier puppet-woman.

    I hope Hillary does get some sort of payback. She’s the one who is really a powerful, capable woman, and it’s crazy-insulting that this Palin nonsense can go on this way.

  20. 20
    Jay Severin Has A Small Pen1s says:

    Careful Lowry….you just let a black widow into your sleeping bag.

  21. 21
    oh really says:

    I guess we’re supposed to conclude that Palin will just look into Putin’s eyes, wink, and he’ll faint. If only we can get her a personal audience with bin Laden, all that bad feeling will just disappear when Osama sees what a sweetheart she is.

    Even if Obama is elected, it’s hard to believe that with so many idiots in this country (and an MSM worthy of such idiots) there is really any hope for good ol’ Amurka.

  22. 22
    attaturk says:

    The Derb isn’t so concerned about Sarah.

    He’s too depressed about another man deflowering Bristol.

  23. 23
    JOSASHLEY says:

    Lowry then went on to order his burnette realdoll.

  24. 24
    jibeaux says:

    Oh, the lonely pervert vote is probably bigger than you think. But also requires a weird book-banning-sexy-librarian fetish, which I expect cuts into the demographic a bit. Someone should do a Venn diagram. I expect the new website could handle it.

  25. 25
    Anne Laurie says:

    Surely this calls for someone to re-post the infamous National Review cover featuring Lowry’s defiant "We’re Winning! (in Iraq)" cover, so we can get some historical context on his predictive abilities?

  26. 26
    TheFountainHead says:

    Oh man….can’t….stop….crying….too…funny.

  27. 27
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    John, I’m spamming this on several threads, but it’s to make things easier for your posters (I hope you don’t mind):

    I downloaded a FF 3 add-on called BBCode which has 3 custom codes you can program in as well as other code features and all I have to do now is right click and paste my blockquote cite code in now. ;)

    [I’m using {blockquote cite} text {/blockquote} (the cite in the close tag always screws up the code) – { and } substituted for code brackets of course.

    Just trying to help Firefox users.

    Okay, it’s on three threads, I’m done. ;)

    If anyone wants to know how to program the codes in and can’t figure it out, contact John and he can put you in contact with me (I don’t want to give out my email unnecessarily, of course)

  28. 28

    Advice for Mr. Derbyshire:

    1. At least pretend like you’ve been laid by someone other Thumbelina and the Four Finger Sisters.

    2. If you have been laid by a live person at least pretend might you SOMEDAY have sex again.

    3. Get. A. Fucking. Life. Governor Palin does not know you, nor does she give a shit that you are alive.

    4. Tape a Franklin to your forehead and see if you get lucky.

    5. This was a VP debate. The country is teetering on the cusp of tyranny and your tiny little woody is important? Bitch, please!

  29. 29

    @jibeaux: And you do mean ONLY the vote, right?

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Leo says:

    Wikipedia sez:

    "[The National Review] is usually considered the center of intellectual activity for the American Conservative movement in the twentieth century."

  32. 32

    OK! Now I’m just trying to dominate the Recent Comments section on the right side of the page. DOMINATE THE RIGHT!!!!

    Do you think Governor Palin wears Pearls? It’s always the quiet ones, dontcha know.

  33. 33
    D-Chance. says:

    #28… ??? What the heck are you talking about? Cole’s cited article was written by Rich Lowry.

    The Derb hasn’t posted on The Corner for a full week now. Given that he’s been anti-everyone-in-the-race and playfully trolling his fellow Corneroids for the last several weeks/months over their Republican choices and eventual nominees, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been given the Dreher treatment and basically told to ship out.

  34. 34

    The beatings will continue until Lowry’s penis improves!

  35. 35
    GSD says:

    With such leeringly lurid language, I can only conclude that Lowry is one of those pathetic plushy fuckers.

    The far right is in the throes of group voluntary retardation.

    And fuck Peggy Noonan and David Brooks in their lying asses.

    -GSD

  36. 36
    jake says:

    That is the saddest thing I’ve ever read. [snerk]

    Seriously, if I ever get excited because a complete stranger winks in the direction of a TV camera … Let’s just say it’s a five minute dash to the Metro station and no more than a 15 minute wait for the next train. One small step for a man and then sweet release from a miserable life that is so devoid of human contact that I think people on the teevee have the hots for me.

    -j

    p.s. No one tell him she was really winking at her dear lesbian friend. There aren’t enough socks in the world.

  37. 37
    Atanarjuat says:

    It’s both amusing and saddening to see how anyone who expresses enthusiasm for the candidate of reform and prosperity, Sarah Palin, is immediately subject to scorn and derision by the bedwetting cowards of the left.

    Country First.

  38. 38
    South of I-10 says:

    weird book-banning-sexy-librarian fetish

    Ha, you beat me to it. I was going to go with the "sexy secretary" but yours works better.

    I really can’t believe a grown man wrote that and thought it was a good idea to share. I had a stalker in college – kind of reminds me of that.

  39. 39
    Stuck in the Fun House says:

    I downloaded a FF 3 add-on called BBCode which has 3 custom codes you can program in as well as other code features

    very cool Maxim. Been looking for such a pluggin. :=)

  40. 40
    Punchy says:

    There needs to be a website that tracks the amount of Cheetos bags, liters of Mountain Dew, and basement space heaters sold on a daily basis. I’m guessing there woulda been a huge spike in those items–plus, hand lotion and paper towels–yesterday afternoon.

  41. 41

    @Atanarjuat: Hey, Country First works for me! Big N’ Rich? George Strait? Hell yeah! Gretchen Wilson? Ralph Stanley? Dottie West?

  42. 42
    Jeff Fecke says:

    Derbs was watching the debate thinking, "Boy, why’s that dried up old hag debating?"

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Seanly says:

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    Gayest. Sentence. Evah. Written.

    My debate post got shit-canned by the evil combo of my new Wireless N network & Balloon Juice’s slow server. :(

    Despite Gwen Ifill’s confusing & bizarre approach to moderating, Biden did pretty good and Palin did alright. But she reminded me of someone: Ever been to a party and there’s someone who’s a big mouth? Then the big mouth gets into a heated discussion with another person. And it turns out that the other person is an expert at the topic and big mouth is more & more obviously not? You feel kinda sorry for big mouth, but they deserve a smackdown for being a dumbass and you want the discussion to end? That was the debate for me.

    Oh and Sarah needs to learn about sentence structure. Oddest syntax…

  45. 45
    Martin says:

    Is Palin responsible for the subprime mess?

    Has the so-called Prosperity Gospel turned its followers into some of the most willing participants — and hence, victims — of the current financial crisis? That’s what a scholar of the fast-growing brand of pentecostal Christianity believes. While researching a book on black televangelism, says Jonathan Walton, a religion professor at the University of California Riverside, he realized that Prosperity’s central promise — that God would "make a way" for poor people to enjoy the better things in life — had developed an additional, toxic expression during sub-prime boom. Walton says that this encouraged congregants who got dicey mortgages to believe "God caused the bank to ignore my credit score and blessed me with my first house." The results, he says, "were disastrous, because they pretty much turned parishioners into prey for greedy brokers."

  46. 46
    SamFromUtah says:

    “Hey, I think she just winked at me.”

    One of my earliest memories is from when I was about four years old, and was scared by something I saw on TV. My mom told me "just remember everything you see on TV is pretend", and I’ve lived by those words ever since.

    I don’t think she meant it to apply to TV news, but it works just fine there too.

  47. 47
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Lowry is positively unhinged. Nuts. Woo-woo.

    I’m sure there’s a psychological term for this, but a lot of the more deranged wingers appear to share an obsession over "manliness" and "sexiness" attached to their political leaders (Commander Decider Guy’s codpiece and the barely concealed HoYay probably being the lowlight of the whole sorry spectacle). Now they’re doing it with Caribou Barbie, and frankly, I just don’t see the attraction. She’s not that hot, for crap’s sake. Just like W isn’t all that butch.

    Idealization? Is that it? Or just sheer naked desperation to make a silk purse out of a moose’s ear?

  48. 48
    oh really says:

    PALIN: Nuclear weaponry, of course, would be the be all, end all of just too many people in too many parts of our planet, so those dangerous regimes, again, cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons, period.

    Couple that kind of eloquence with a wink and is there any man who could resist?

  49. 49
    Scott H says:

    That’s not "gushing fanboi" – that’s creepy stalker.

    “Hey, I think she just winked at me.”

  50. 50
    Xanthippas says:

    A ping on the wood-o-meter in Lowry’s pants will not persuade me that I like Palin in any sense.

  51. 51
    Zifnab says:

    @Grumpy Code Monkey: Hey, now. We all like to romanticize our candidates. When "People" magazine had Barry running around with his shirt off and everyone was ooohing and aaahing over the fact that he wasn’t a flabby balding midget, it was good to see.

    That said, how shallow do you have to get before you start voting for candidates based on how often they wink and smile at the camera? Is this really what draws your attention and wins your vote? She winked at you? By that logic, please just write in Paris Hilton. Over the last 4 years, she’s done way more campaigning for your vote than Palin could ever dream of.

  52. 52
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    very cool Maxim. Been looking for such a pluggin. :=)

    Glad I could help.

    The repeated typing of the blockquote code was driving me crazy.

    I used to have a simple HTML add-on for DailyKos (the add-on was created especially for that purpose) but I no longer have that and it wouldn’t work on this site anyway. I just remembered how much easier it was to use that so I went looking for one I could use here.

    Enjoy! It’s a LOT easier.

  53. 53
    Joshau Norton says:

    That’s not "gushing fanboi" – that’s creepy stalker.

    Really. It read like a CSI creepy stalker script. The next scene would be Palin locked in a cellar and crying with duct tape over her mouth.

  54. 54
    Xanthippas says:

    Not to change the subject…well yes, to change the subject, here’s this gem via Memeorandum:

    Speaking at an Americas Conference panel discussion Friday on the next U.S. president’s Latin American policy, McCain advisor Richard Fontaine started out by mentioning an old Brazilian flame of McCain’s, who recently emerged in the press.

    ”Talking a little about his personal experience, he was famously born in Panama and has traveled all over the hemisphere for many years.” Fontaine said.

    In fact, I saw, I guess it was last week, that his old girlfriend in Brazil has been found from his early days when he was in the Navy and was interviewed. She’s a somewhat older woman now than she was then, but it sorta speaks to the long experience he has had in the region — in the most positive terms.”

    So as you can see, Palin is ready to be VP (or Prez!) because she gives Lowry wood, and McCain is ready to be Prez because he also gave a Brazilian model some wood.

  55. 55
    TheFountainHead says:

    The new BJ for iPhone is teh awesome. I’m on the bus and still laughing my ass off at Lowry!

  56. 56
    KT says:

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    Is that some sort of euphemism for climax?

  57. 57
    Atanarjuat says:

    There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging and, yes, even admiring Sarah Palin’s sexiness. It is simply the icing on the cake, so to speak, as Sarah Palin’s executive experience and deep connection with genuine American values is the substance the makes her allure that much more appealing.

    The collective envy of the perpetually enraged left is a wonder to behold, lamentably so.

    Country First.

  58. 58
    chopper says:

    and, yes, even admiring Sarah Palin’s sexiness. It’s is simply the icing on the cake, so to speak, as Sarah Palin’s executive experience

    indeed. that’s why i’m voting for her for editor of juggs magazine.

  59. 59
    PaulW says:

    She’s winking, and the rightards faint? They’re like my twin brother who kept insisting the blonde chick from the three-hit-wonder girl group Expose was staring at him through Senior Night at Disney…

    Also reminds me that scene from Field of Dreams, where the Black Sox pitcher throws a high one at Archie Graham’s rookie chin:

    Gandil: Hey Knuckles, what’d you throw at the kid for?
    Cicotte: He-he winked at me.
    Gandil: Don’t wink, kid. (everyone chuckles)

  60. 60
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    @Atanarjuat:

    She’s an empty head with a cute smile. You want that running the country?

    You don’t care about America, take a hike buddy.

  61. 61
    Stuck in the Fun House says:

    There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging and, yes, even admiring Sarah Palin’s sexiness.

    So did the new Pakistani prez look what it got him

    On the other hand she could be a secret weapon against Al Quaida. She could pose in Sports Illustrated Ultimate Swimsuit Edition, then we could send out copies to the terraists and when they oogled, the Mullahs would cut off their heads and steal their magazine.

  62. 62
    Jack H. says:

    I really don’t find Palin attractive. She’s like a cartoon version of Peggy Hill and to me that’s the definition of not hot.

  63. 63
    Joshau Norton says:

    I’ll bet Cheney is probably sporting a B cup himself. Maybe that turns them on, too.

  64. 64
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    I don’t find her attractive either (and I’ve been known to swing both ways at times), I certainly wouldn’t be interested.

    That is probably because I’m attracted to intelligence first and foremost.

    And that grating nasal voice… NO, THANK YOU!

  65. 65
    Tsulagi says:
    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.


    Gayest. Sentence. Evah. Written.

    That, and the whole thing sounds like he hasn’t been getting any from the gender/species of his choice in a long, long time.

    The party of Jack Bauer. Yep. These guys never fail to crack me up.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    I call spoof.

    Why, you can’t handle the fact that a woman could admit to having had sex with another woman? I’ve known others like me.

    Why would you consider this spoof?

    Dreggas, you do know who I am, right? I made no secret of it, this is Rome Again (I’ve chosen a new name to describe my life at the moment).

    Rome Again
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII
    they both say the same thing, don’t they?
    I thought it was pretty straight forward, and I have admitted to being RA on these threads when called on it. It’s not that big of a secret. I even admitted to telling TZ that we had editable posts in email and posted such.

  68. 68
    Joshau Norton says:

    It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America.

    Cleaning up the ‘starbursts’ – not so thrilling, I would imagine.

  69. 69
    p.a. says:

    “Paging John Derbyshire- Cleanup In the Gushing Fanboi Aisle”

    Is this the most suggestive Balloon-Juice thread title ever? Hope the Derb wore a precaution gown and gloves for the cleanup.

    If there is an afterlife, Buckley may be wishing there weren’t right about now.

  70. 70
    CIRCVS MAXIMVS MMVIII says:

    If there is an afterlife, Buckley may be wishing there weren’t right about now.

    Thanks, I needed that laugh right about now!

  71. 71
    Comrade Dread says:

    "[The National Review] is usually considered the center of intellectual activity for the American Conservative movement in the twentieth century.

    This would greatly explain why the conservative movement generally seems to be brain-dead and clinging to life support at the moment.

  72. 72
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    barely concealed HoYay

    Are you a TWoPper, Grumpy Code Monkey?

  73. 73
    Blue Raven says:

    It sent little starbursts through onto the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America my mother’s basement.

    Fixed that for him.

  74. 74
    Annette says:

    @TheFountainHead:

    You’re welcome.

    @Bubblegum Tate:

    I am, and that almost made me spew coffee out of my nose. Not the sort of thing I ever expected to see in a discussion related to politics.

  75. 75

    Cripes on a crutch, I was a bachelor until age 37 when I married a pretty cute woman. In the years previous to that there were about 5 extended relationships with women who made the young pictures of Saracuda look plain. Now I’ve been married for 18 years but I still notice women in a low key manner, but that is not the reaction I’d have to Sarah at the more advanced age of 55. Maybe their reaction’s basis explains the weirdness of reichwing bloggers. (inability to get a date with a doll that wasn’t inflatable)

    BTW, those "centerfolds" were smarter than Sarah – though being with me may not have been a demonstration of good judgement.

  76. 76
    r€nato says:

    Jesus, reading that Derb quote makes me want to puke.

  77. 77
    r€nato says:

    …you know, these are the same people who for months have been mocking Obama-mania.

  78. 78

    LMAO, these comments! Olbermann just nailed this, btw.

  79. 79

    I really don’t find Palin attractive. She’s like a cartoon version of Peggy Hill and to me that’s the definition of not hot.

    For.
    The.
    Win.

  80. 80
    Comrade Darkness says:

    Derbyshire IS gay, right?

    Not that there is anything wrong with that…

  81. 81
    Comrade Darkness says:

    genuine American value

    Those genuine values of not discussing sex with your children until they are in the delivery room, outsourcing your job with someone else’s money, and using your executive power in service of your family vendettas.

    Ah, Genuine America.

  82. 82
    Comrade Kevin says:

    Rich Lowry, today’s Worst Person In The World!

    Olbermann’s reading of the infamous quote was priceless.

  83. 83
    ArtV says:

    Olbermann just smoked Richie Rich… something about "I don’t really want to know if you sat in front of the teevee and masturbated…"

  84. 84
    Lesley says:

    Did he just literally admit she’s porn for him?

    Eew…

  85. 85
    Mazacote Yorquest says:

    I don’t think Sarah’s smile burst the star of Derby Derby, who’s penning more of "Willowta":
    " Wil-low-ta. Light of my life, fire of my loins. A trip of three steps from the campaign plane of my throat to the tarmac of my palette." etc. etc.

  86. 86
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @Annette:

    I am, and that almost made me spew coffee out of my nose. Not the sort of thing I ever expected to see in a discussion related to politics.

    For real! That was actually the first time I’d seen HoYay! get used outside of TWoP, and it cracked me up.

  87. 87
    catatonia says:

    Weirdo Loser in high school doesn’t get the girls, the boys kick his ass, and Weirdo Loser is so sensitive, so he figures "I must be a writer because I … feel so much."

    The years pass. Weirdo Loser tries to write while spanking his monkey. Weirdo Loser’s writing doesn’t get much better, he can’t finish his great American novel because he’s spanking the monkey so much, first twice a week then, next thing you know, three times a day … but Weirdo Loser discovers poli-ticks, and wingnut welfare, and is saved.

    So Weirdo Loser plugs into wingnut welfare and is reborn as Wingnut Loser, and even becomes an "opinion maker" because he’s traded in feeling so much for bitching so much: about the "secularists," the minorities, the DFHs, the free thinkers, about whomever wingnut welfare control decrees. "If’n you’re not with us, you agin’ us, and that means your a goldbricker or a traitor or a fag or some of all three": Wingnut Loser parleys writing (somewhat nuanced) variations on that theme five times a fortnight, into a pretty good career.

    Meanwhile, Wingnut Loser finds new monkeys to spank: culture warriors and assorted other fundie buncombe artists, neocons who want to throw small countries up against the wall.

    But within Wingnut Loser, for all his prominence of the masthead of his "opinion journal," is still deep down, Weirdo Loser, with the earnest melancholia of his youth when the head cheerleader called him "dickless" and the football players proved it by shoving a tacking dummy up his ass.

    Come September 2008. Wingnut Loser still feels the pangs of the head cheerleader’s scorn and, whenever he takes a dump, still remembers that tackling dummy. And meanwhile, the monkey don’t shock like it used to (Wingnut Loser may have been consulting with his fellow wingnut welfarer John Fund on that one.) But then along comes winkin’ and blinkin’ Sarah, and Wingnut Loser has an epiphany …

    (note: I was one of those Weirdo Losers, too)

  88. 88
    oh really says:

    There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging and, yes, even admiring Sarah Palin’s sexiness.

    People are not objects. Palin’s attractiveness is worth nothing until she opens her mouth and speaks. Otherwise, she’s just an object.

    And when I hear her speak, all I hear and see is ugly, ugly, ugly.

    Palin’s no object. She’s a vacuous, ego-maniacal, dangerous, Right Wing nut. There’s nothing sexy about that…at all!

  89. 89
    Krista says:

    For real! That was actually the first time I’d seen HoYay! get used outside of TWoP, and it cracked me up

    No kidding. But it really does fit the situation, doesn’t it? Of course, I can’t think of HoYay! without thinking of Heroes (BroYay!). It’s good to see fall TV is back. It’s a lovely distraction from the politics.

  90. 90
    Clor says:

    Someone’s a big fan of Twilight.

  91. 91

    Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic: Palin Sews Up the Right Wing Dude Vote by Shooting Starbursts at Rick Lowry, You Betcha…

    by Teh Nutroots | Apparently The Corner’s Rich Lowry experienced the debate a little different from most people. In his living room anyway, projecting from the screen. And…she winked at him! Winked! See? After which Lowry thought he was seeing starb…

  92. 92
    John Onorato says:

    Great minds think alike.

    Unbelievable. Except when you consider the framework of up is down, black is white, and McCain is a regulating machine.

    We’re doomed. So Obama wins 55-45?

    Not good enough. Too many morons.

  93. 93
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    @Krista:

    Another TWoPper? Wow, there’s a bunch of us on here.

  94. 94
    Comrade Kevin says:

    @Bubblegum Tate:

    Television Without Pity?

    It’s been a while since I looked at that site.

  95. 95

    Courtesy o’ Rumproast

    Not quite as disturbing as that damn Rainbow Brite poster. Not. Quite.

  96. 96
    tripletee (formerly tBone) says:

    @John Onorato: Jesus, I hadn’t seen the full quote until now.

    A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It’s one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O’Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy.

    So he starts off by comparing Palin to O’Reilly, and then goes into the whole ricocheting starbursts in my pantload bit? Just when I thought it couldn’t get any creepier. . .

  97. 97
    John O says:

    Yep, tripletee, as creepy as it gets from a "serious" journalist, or even op-ed person of repute.

    I’m not dealing particularly well with living down the rabbit hole. It’s just a bit too discombobulating for me.

    Repeating now: We, this country, are not in good shape.

  98. 98
    jcricket says:

    I hope Hillary does get some sort of payback. She’s the one who is really a powerful, capable woman, and it’s crazy-insulting that this Palin nonsense can go on this way.

    Two things: One, make it so Alaskan’s stop getting all the extra federal money they sponge off the rest of us. See how many hockey skates, six packs and soccer balls those self-sufficient rugged individualists can afford then. Fuckers.

    Two, pass some form of universal healthcare.

    Nothing will drive the righties off a cliff like Clinton getting universal healthcare passed (i’m not saying single payer, just something). Palin’s Reagan quote was a screed against Medicare. And they will fight it to the death, like they fought Social Security, Civil Rights Act, etc. To the point where if they only spend 40 years in the wilderness, they’ll be lucky.

    Remember, when government programs work, and people know who supported/opposed them, democrats win and republicans lose.

  99. 99
    Comrade Mary, Would-Be Minion Of Bad Horse says:

    @Bubblegum Tate:

    Another lapsed TWOPer here. I never thought that "Homoeroticism, yay!" would be our secret handshake out here in the real world. Better that than shipping, though. "Palin and Lowry — they are the magic."

  100. 100
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Keith Olbermann slayed Lowry over this statement on his show tonight. Something about Lowry sensual portrayal of Sarah’s night out and his masturbating to it. Keith used a soft, wavering voice while reading it, which made it all the more hilarious.

    Sorry Rich, but the winking is plain creepy coming from someone who is asking to be voted in as the Vice President of the United States. Maybe it would work for high school vice president of the student body or picking someone up in a bar, but that is about it.

    It must really suck to be a fiscal conservative right now. The free market is dead and all they got to show for it is an old dude who talks out of both sides of his mouth (and ass) and a bible thumping backwoods moose hunting lady who can’t speak English or put a coherent sentence together.

  101. 101
    Damned at Random says:

    Now can we PLEASE stop pretending the Palin nomination was a play for the female vote? She was an obvious sop to the basement trolls

  102. 102
    John O says:

    Damned at Random:

    A new constituency: The "she gives me a boner" vote.

    Someone just please kill me clean.

    One interesting outcome of a McCain loss, or even more so, a McCain humiliation, will be how he spins it. He’s dead to me now, no matter what, but his history of apologizing for being an a**hole will make his attempted rehab a freak show to watch if his 72 year old ass bothers with it.

    Perhaps he and Joe Lieberman can go to an old-folks home of hated people and reminisce about the "good old days."

    Not unlike old Argentinean Nazis.

  103. 103
    jcricket says:

    Someone just please kill me clean.

    Oh no, you don’t get off that easy. Your death will linger like a Japanese recession. (that’s what my fortune cookie said, anyway).

  104. 104
    jcricket says:

    Perhaps he and Joe Lieberman can go to an old-folks home of hated people and reminisce about the "good old days."

    They can hang out with Zell Miller, and perhaps Lady Lynn Forester de Douchebag von Rotschild as entertainment.

  105. 105
    cain says:

    I am, and that almost made me spew coffee out of my nose. Not the sort of thing I ever expected to see in a discussion related to politics.

    Nothing is off the table at this site. It can get pretty strange in here sometimes!
     
    Now someone tell me what "TWoPper" is?
     
    cain

  106. 106
    Rob says:

    Here’s the Olbermann video:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=NSZw1_lDcxo

  107. 107
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    David Letterman takes a few shots at Palin.

    h/t Wonkette

    F’ing funny!

  108. 108
    JGabriel says:

    Rich Lowry:

    And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America

    Whatever else may be said of Lowry, I think this post makes it clear that he is COMMITTED to Sparklemotion(tm).

    .

  109. 109
    JGabriel says:

    Cain:

    Now someone tell me what "TWoPper" is?

    TWoP = Television Without Pity, snarky TV recap site.

    .

  110. 110
    cain says:

    TWoP = Television Without Pity, snarky TV recap site.

    Thanks!

    cain

  111. 111
    John says:

    Indeed, Derb is probably horrified. Bristol, I think, is more his speed, given past statements.

  112. 112

    […] the other hand, conservative pundit Rich Lowry, seemed to have plenty of wood of a different […]

  113. 113
    Bob Weber says:

    What’s Lowry been getting into? A common effect of LSD, mescaline, etc. is the impression that TV or movies are talking directly to you. I met a guy who liked to drop acid and go to Disneyland for the animatronic Abe Lincoln.

  114. 114

    […] It isn’t. It is part of a photo shoot for Runner’s World. Has anyone seen Rich Lowry today? […]

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  2. […] the other hand, conservative pundit Rich Lowry, seemed to have plenty of wood of a different […]

  3. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic: Palin Sews Up the Right Wing Dude Vote by Shooting Starbursts at Rick Lowry, You Betcha…

    by Teh Nutroots | Apparently The Corner’s Rich Lowry experienced the debate a little different from most people. In his living room anyway, projecting from the screen. And…she winked at him! Winked! See? After which Lowry thought he was seeing starb…

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