Sen. Stevens releases a statement about his indictment:
I have proudly served this nation and Alaska for over 50 years. My public service began when I served in World War II. It saddens me to learn that these charges have been brought against me. I have never knowingly submitted a false disclosure form required by law as a U.S. Senator.
In accordance with Senate Republican Conference rules, I have temporarily relinquished my vice-chairmanship and ranking positions until I am absolved of these charges.
The impact of these charges on my family disturbs me greatly.
I am innocent of these charges and intend to prove that.
And you know what? I believe him, because the proof is in the lapel:
Real patriots do it with a button on
Of course he is innocent. Look at that lapel pin!
So while the LIE-beral Bush Justice Department may think they have him dead to rights after an almost decade-long investigation with dozens of convictions, I am going to trust my lying eyes as I learned in previous episodes of Lapel Pin Patriotism (episode 1, episode 2, movie edition). Just like Randall “Duke” Cunningham and all the others, I am sure he is innocent.