What Else Is It Like?

Kos:

Okay, today we found out that counting the fake Florida primary is, according to Hillary Clinton, like:

Woman’s Suffrage

Civil Rights
Florida 2000
Zimbabwe

It’s also like the Big Bang, Jesus, and cute kittens.

Actually, Kos, McCain is like Jesus.

What else is it like?

I would argue it is like the Grinch that Stole Christmas. And the War of the Roses. And the Reichstag Fire.

Have fun, and consider this an open thread.






183 replies
  1. 1
    El Cid says:

    You laugh, but someday Florida Democratic primary voters will be able to get jobs, hold positions in government, maybe even be President one day! The struggle is just beginning.

  2. 2
  3. 3
    TheFountainHead says:

    The fake Florida Primary is like Tibet’s struggle against the Chinese.

    And the cyclone in Myanmar.

    And Robert Downey Jr.’s Hollywood comeback.

  4. 4
    TR says:

    I’m tempted to say that Hillary’s Noble Crusade is just as all-American as “Mom, Baseball, and Apple Pie” … but we all know that “Mom” is an oppressive patriarchal construct meant to chain women down in the kitchen, “Baseball” is a pointless men’s game built around an obvious phallic substitute with a testicular focus, and “Apple Pie” is both evocative of the misogynistic Biblical story of Eve’s supposed temptation by the serpent (phallic again) and a rampantly sexist reference to a va-jay-jay.

  5. 5
    Joshua says:

    This whole situation with denying the people of Florida and Michigan to have their votes counted even though most of them didn’t vote because they knew their votes wouldn’t count is pretty much exactly like when Hitler invaded Poland. It’s also like kicking puppies.

    Like, not an annoying yappy puppy, either. I’m talking a nice, friendly golden retriever puppy. Or maybe a puggle. Who would kick a puggle? A monster, that’s who. A monster like Barack Obama, Howard Dean, and Stalin. And Judas Iscariot. Who all may as well be the same person, for all I’m concerned.

  6. 6
    Ripley says:

    It’s like a football to the crotch.

    Well, maybe not that bad…

  7. 7
    kind of an off white says:

    It’s like, whoa, man, can’t we just have one election without Florida it up?

    To show solidarity with Clinton as she nobly battles the patriarchy, I say we saw off America’s Wang.

  8. 8
    Ripley says:

    It’s also like the story of Lucas, the nerdy young kid who finally won the respect of the jocks and popular kids after joining the football team.

    It’s also like the story of Rudy, I guess.

    And also, probably, the Bad News Bears.

  9. 9
    Ted says:

    “This is like the Bolshevik Revolution,” Clinton said. An aide was overheard whispering to her that she’s supposed to be for the “working man,” not Obama. Clinton later followed up by saying she “misspoke” and that the comparison was not appropriate for the situation.

  10. 10
    kind of an off white says:

    Without Florida fucking it up, that should say. But let’s be honest, just the word “Florida” is a pretty good indicator that some fucking up occured. Own Fark tag and all.

  11. 11
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    It’s like brave Olive Oyl fighting off the misogynistic Bluto.

  12. 12

    The destruction of Alderaan, I would say. Pointless, cruel, and done just for shits and giggles. And because Grand Moff Cl..err..Tarkin is just awesome.

  13. 13
    ChurchLadyLa says:

    What’s the matter with you guys?? It’s like The Rapture.

    With Ponies!

  14. 14

    […] ‘You Prefer Another Target, A Military Target?’ John Cole of Balloon Juice mocks Clinton’s comparsions of Florida to slavery, civil rights, Zimbabwe, and other lovely little things, then asks what else the Florida fight is like. My choice: […]

  15. 15
    Doug H. (Fausto no more) says:

    I’m just waiting for someone to break out a Nazi reset. I’ll be mildly surprised if its the campaign, less so if its one of the Internet Clintonbunkers.

    Personally, all this whining from the Clinton campaign reminds me more of Maxwell Smart. “Would you believe its like the Tuck Rule?”

  16. 16
    dmsilev says:

    It’s like the brave Jews fighting off the Romans at Masada.

    It’s like the battle of Saratoga.

    Somehow, it’s like Hitler.

    -dms

  17. 17
    Krista says:

    She’s a veritable Rosa Parks.

  18. 18
    kind of an off white says:

    It’s like Ray-ee-ain on Election Day
    It’s like a free ride, just need 27 states
    It’s like bad advice from the head of your campaign

    Isn’t it Clintonic, don’tcha think?

  19. 19
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Florida is enslaved Narnia, bravely being liberated by the lyin witch in the pantsuits wardrobe.

  20. 20
    Doug H. (Fausto no more) says:

    Ms. Play It Safe was afraid to lead
    She was handed an NIE but refused to read
    She waited her whole damn life to make that vote
    And as Iraq crashed down she thought
    “Maybe we’ll get the next one right…”

  21. 21
    TR says:

    She’s a veritable Rosa Parks.

    Rosa Parks? Why does Clinton have to be the woman from the Montgomery Bus Boycott? Why can’t she be Martin Luther King?

    Sexist.

  22. 22
    TheFountainHead says:

    I think we should let American Idol voters make the final call on Michigan and Florida. THAT would be the will of the people.

  23. 23

    Personally, all this whining from the Clinton campaign reminds me more of Maxwell Smart. “Would you believe its like the Tuck Rule?”

    Leave the tuck rule out of it. It is the greatest rule ever.

    Go Patr..errr…Steelers?

  24. 24
    Max Power says:

    It is just like Florida 2000.

    Then, Republican officials change the vote counting rules after the election so that their candidate wins.

    Now, the Clinton campaign wants to change the vote counting rules after the election so that their candidate wins.

    I mean, we all remember how Al Gore argued before the Supreme Court that his popular vote lead meant the electoral college parts of the constitution didn’t apply in this election. Don’t we?

  25. 25
    Warren Terra says:

    Can’t we just call this behavior from the Clinton campaign for the Godwin violation it is?

  26. 26
    1jpb says:

    Maybe I’m paranoid, but I don’t see the humor that seems to be obvious to others.

    I see HRC going “nuclear” and obliterating the D party. Time will tell.

    By the way, at the same time HRC is working for “civil rights” in MI/FL. Her supporters are indicating that BHO’s winning would be the result of sexism. And, WJC is, in the new People, indicating (again) that he is the victim of reverse racism (For the record, only an idiot would think that BHO is advantaged by making this contest about race. 1) There is not a majority of black folks, BHO doesn’t want to be a “botique candidate” like JJ, and BHO already had black support after his success in Iowa, in fact he’s avoided reaching out to black folks (e.g. Tavis S.) 2) The Clintons are disgusting to be claiming that they’re the victims of reverse racism, because not only do they get to pin BHO as the black candidate, then they turn around and play up the idea that he is the affermative action candidate who is taking the job that should be going to hard working white HRC. 3) Fox, and the wingnuts love talking about BHO as the black candidate, therefore you can be sure that this convesation is not good for BHO as the presumptive D nominee. By the way, isn’t it gross to watch the wingnuts use the HRC folks such as Lanny?)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....smemo.com/

    The SDs need to stop wasting time, as they hope HRC will do the right thing. Her time is up, this not a time for Hope.

  27. 27
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    She’s a veritable Rosa Parks.

    Yeesh, don’t go giving her ideas like that.

  28. 28
    J.A.F. Rusty Shackleford says:

    It’s like close-ups of puppies with a wide-angle lense.

  29. 29
    Jorge says:

    Like an intern fighting off Bill Clinton

  30. 30
    John Cole says:

    Maybe I’m paranoid, but I don’t see the humor that seems to be obvious to others.

    I am trying to regain my sanity.

    But no, it isn’t really funny at all. These are the most maddening people ever.

  31. 31
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Like an intern fighting off Bill Clinton

    lolz

  32. 32
    Genine says:

    Krista Says:

    She’s a veritable Rosa Parks.

    You hush that! Rosa Parks has nothing on Hillary!

  33. 33
    John Cole says:

    This is off topic, but I was looking for something in the archives and found this, which is pretty amusing.

  34. 34
    t jasper parnell says:

    It’s like Zimbabwe:

    There are so many obvious differences between the Florida and Michigan Democratic primaries and the Zimbabwe election crisis that it is difficult to know where to begin. But perhaps there is one similarity: in Zimbabwe, a losing candidate, incumbent Robert Mugabe, seeing his impending defeat, has worked to change an outcome produced under pre-existing rules. In arguing that the Democratic party should abandon its rules post-hoc – rules Clinton herself agreed to before the voting – she makes a parallel move.

  35. 35
    Jorge says:

    Guys, take a page from Obama – his biggest concern for the rest of the evening probably involves how many points Kobe scores tonight. Then he’ll wake up at 6:00 PM with a great plan for how to get one step closer to being the leader of the free world.

    Hillary right now – full of sound and fury and signifying jack crap.

  36. 36
    nightjar says:

    Maybe I’m paranoid, but I don’t see the humor that seems to be obvious to others

    You’re not paranoid, they are out to get you. But why not kick the motherfuckers in the shin for a chuckle.

  37. 37
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    This is off topic, but I was looking for something in the archives and found this, which is pretty amusing fucking long.

    Fixed.

  38. 38
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    Hillary’s campaign is like the 1980 US olympic hockey team, with one arm tied behind their backs, fighting the Persians at Thermopylae, Darth Vader’s galactic empire, and every dinosaur of the Jurassic era.

  39. 39

    John, RE: your contest for the silliest things said by a non-blogger supporter of Hillary —

    How about a subcategory for those people who were once sane but lost their fucking minds over the past six months?

    For instance, I give you Clinton friend Gene Lyons:

    http://www.nwanews.com/adg/Editorial/226381/

    If Hillary Clinton had no other reason to keep running for the
    Democratic presidential nomination, it would be to demonstrate that Tim
    Russert, Keith Olbermann, Maureen Dowd, David Broder and the Beltway
    media gas bags don’t decide American elections.

    Funny, because Tim Russert’s been Hillary’s best friend next to George Stephanopoulos on the teevee over the past few months. He and her tag-teamed Obama on bogus Farrakhan crap, bogus Wright crap, and pretty much every other non-controversy one can imagine.

    Then there’s this:

    “ Just four years out of the state Senate. If he were white or female, his candidacy would be a joke. Imagine if he’d opted to run for vice president with Hillary. Mc-Cain would lose, Democrats would come close to 60 Senate seats and pick up 35 in the House. The Democratic left’s
    need to swoon after eight years of a moron, coupled with unbridled Clinton hatred, will produce a disaster for the party and country.”

    Funny thing: Hillary has about the same amount of national-office experience as Obama (and sorry, being First Lady doesn’t count unless you allow us to count her hubby’s mistakes as her mistakes, too — if Clinton backers say that she can’t be blamed for her husband’s goof as president, then what was all that “package deal” crap about?), but far less as a community activist, which is what Obama did for twenty years before winning his Senate seat. She does, however, have two decades under her belt at Rose Law, which specializes in “union avoidance” and other things Big Business likes.

    And all her experience didn’t stop her from voting for the AUMF. (Meanwhile, there’s another guy from Illinois who was a lowly congressman when he won the White House. Guy named Lincoln. Did pretty well, from what I hear.)

    I won’t quote the rest because of fair-use law, but I damned near choked when I saw him accuse Obama of race-baiting. Betsy Reed stomped that bullshit into the ground in her recent article in The Nation:

    “More than any single thing, that moment with Bill Clinton in South Carolina represents the rupture that was coming,” says Harris-Lacewell. The moment occurred in late January, when the former President compared Obama’s landslide win, in which he received a major boost from African-American voters, to Jesse Jackson’s victories there in 1984 and 1988. Because the former President offered the comparison unprompted, in response to a question that had nothing to do with Jackson or race, the statement was widely read as chalking up Obama’s win to his blackness alone and thus attempting to marginalize him as a doomed minority candidate with limited appeal. Obama was now “the black candidate,” in the words of one Clinton strategist quoted by the AP.

    […]

    Giddings calls the Wright association a “litmus test” that Obama must pass, saying, “It will be interesting to see if a man of color, a man who’s cosmopolitan, can be the quintessential symbol of America” as its President.

    Obama initially responded to that challenge with his speech in Philadelphia on March 18. While condemning Wright’s words, he placed them in a historical context of racial oppression and said, “I can no more disown him than I can disown the black community.” (More recently, of course, Obama did renounce him.) But in the Philadelphia speech, called “A More Perfect Union,” Obama also outlined a racially universal definition of American citizenship and affirmed his commitment to represent all Americans as President. “I chose to run for the presidency at this moment in history because I believe deeply that we cannot solve the challenges of our time unless we solve them together–unless we perfect our union by understanding that we have different stories, but we hold common hopes; that we may not look the same and we may not have come from the same place, but we all want to move in the same direction.”

    A mere three days after Obama spoke those words, Bill Clinton made this statement in North Carolina about a potential Clinton-McCain general election matchup: “I think it’d be a great thing if we had an election year where you had two people who loved this country and were devoted to the interest of this country. And people could actually ask themselves who is right on these issues, instead of all this other stuff that always seems to intrude itself on our politics.” Whether or not this statement constituted McCarthyism, as one Obama surrogate alleged and as Clinton supporters vigorously denied, the timing of the remark made its meaning quite clear: controversies relating to Obama’s race render him less fit than either Hillary or McCain to run for president as a patriotic American. A couple of weeks later, Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen went so far as to call on Obama to make another speech, modeled after John F. Kennedy’s declaration in 1960 that, despite his Catholicism, he would respect the separation of church and state as President–as though Obama’s blackness were a sign of allegiance to some entity, like the Vatican, other than the United States of America.

    In the Democratic debates, enabled by the moderators, Hillary Clinton has increasingly deployed issues of race and patriotism as a wedge strategy against her opponent. First, in the debate in Cleveland on February 26, she pressed Obama not only to denounce but to reject Louis Farrakhan–to whom he was spuriously linked through Reverend Wright, who had taken a trip with the black nationalist leader in the 1980s. In style as well as content, that attack was a harbinger of things to come. In the most recent debate, ABC’s George Stephanopolous and Charles Gibson peppered Obama with questions such as, “Do you believe [Wright] is as patriotic as you are?” and, regarding former Weatherman Bill Ayers, a Chicago neighbor and Obama supporter, “Can you explain that relationship for the voters and explain to Democrats why it won’t be a problem?” Time after time, Clinton picked up the line and ran with it. “You know, these are problems, and they raise questions in people’s minds. And so this is a legitimate area…for people to be exploring and trying to find answers,” she said, seeming to abandon her argument that these issues are fair game now only because they will be raised by Republicans later and thus are relevant to an evaluation of Obama’s electability.

    […]

    While on occasion Obama’s campaign has complained of racial slights, Obama himself has avoided raising the charge directly. Even so, Clinton supporters make the twisted claim that it is Obama who has racialized the campaign. “While promoting Obama as a ‘post-racial’ figure, his campaign has purposefully polluted the contest with a new strain of what historically has been the most toxic poison in American politics,” wrote Sean Wilentz in The New Republic in an article titled “Race Man.” Bill Clinton recently groused that the Obama camp, in the controversy over his Jackson remark, “played the race card on me.”

    As for the way the Clinton campaign has dealt with race, Crenshaw says, “It started with a small drumbeat, but as the campaign has proceeded, as Hillary has taken part in things, more people are really seeing this as a ‘line in the sand’ kind of moment.”

    Among the black feminists interviewed for this article, reactions to the declarations of sexism’s greater toll by Clinton supporters–and their demand that all women back their candidate out of gender solidarity, regardless of the broader politics of the campaign–ran the gamut from astonishment to dismay to fury. Patricia Hill Collins, a sociology professor at the University of Maryland and author of Black Feminist Thought, recalls how, before they were reduced to their race or gender, the candidates were not seen solely through the prism of identity, and many Democrats were thrilled with the choices before them. But of the present, she says, “It is such a distressing, ugly period. Clinton has manipulated ideas about race, but Obama has not manipulated similar ideas about gender.” This has exacerbated longstanding racial tensions within the women’s movement, Collins notes, and is likely to alienate young black women who might otherwise have been receptive to feminism. “We had made progress in getting younger black women to see that gender does matter in their lives. Now they are going to ask, What kind of white woman is Hillary Clinton?”

    The sense of progress unraveling is profound. “What happened to the perspective that the failures of feminism lay in pandering to racism, to everyone nodding that these were fatal mistakes–how is it that all that could be jettisoned?” asks Crenshaw, who co-wrote a piece with Eve Ensler on the Huffington Post called “Feminist Ultimatums: Not in Our Name.” Crenshaw says that, appalled as she is by the sexism toward Clinton, she found herself stunned by some of the arguments pro-Hillary feminists were making. “There is a myopic focus on the aspiration of having a woman in the White House–perhaps not any woman, but it seems to be pretty much enough that she be a Democratic woman.” This stance, says Crenshaw, “is really a betrayal.”

    Frances Kissling, the former president of Catholics for a Free Choice, attributes this go-for-broke attitude to the mindset of corporate feminism. “There’s a way in which feminists who have been seriously engaged in electoral politics for a long time, the institutional DC feminist leadership, they are just with Hillary Clinton come hell or high water. I think they have accepted, as she has accepted, a similar career trajectory. They are not uncomfortable with what has gone on in the campaign, because they see electoral campaigns as mere instruments for getting elected. This is just the way it is. We have to get elected.”

    The implications of all this for the future of feminism depend significantly on the outcome of the primary, says Kissling. “If Clinton wins, the older-line women’s movement will continue; it will be a continuation of power for them. If she doesn’t win, it will be a death knell for those people. And that may be a good thing–that a younger generation will start to take over.”

    Many younger women, indeed, have responded to the admonishments of their pro-Hillary second-wave elders by articulating a sophisticated political orientation that includes feminism but is not confined to it. They may support Obama, but they still abhor the sexism Clinton has faced. And they detect–and reject–a tinge of sexism among male peers who have developed man-crushes on the dashing senator from Illinois. “Even while they voice dismay over the retro tone of the pro-Clinton feminist whine, a growing number of young women are struggling to describe a gut conviction that there is something dark and funky, and probably not so female-friendly, running below the frantic fanaticism of their Obama-loving compatriots,” wrote Rebecca Traister in Salon.

  40. 40
    AkaDad says:

    Denying the good citizens of Florida and Michigan their God-given right to vote, would be like denying the families of 9/11 victims their inherent right to vote.

  41. 41
    w vincentz says:

    It’s like Stan Laurel and Olliver Hardy. Laurel gets a situation going, it gets worse, Hardy tries to intervene and fails.
    Then Hardy turns to Laurel and calmly says, “Well, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into!”

  42. 42
    myiq2xu says:

    Disenfranchising two states is like letting Diebold count votes.

    It’s also kryptonite to Obama’s chances of winning in November.

    Go ahead, laugh it up.

    But McCain will get the last laugh. Four more years of Bushco, courtesy of Balloon Juice and the fauxgressive blogosphere.

  43. 43
    AkaDad says:

    Denying the good citizens of Florida and Michigan their God-given right to vote, would be like denying the families of 9/11 victims their inherent right to vote.

    Denying the good citizens of Florida and Michigan their God-given right to count the votes, would be like disenfranchising the families of 9/11 victims.

    FTFM

  44. 44
    Warren Terra says:

    Denying the good citizens of Florida and Michigan their God-given right to vote for Hillary, would be like denying the families of 9/11 victims their inherent right to vote for Hillary.

    Amplified for greater verisimilitude.

  45. 45
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Disenfranchising two states is like letting Diebold count votes.

    So disenfranching four states, NV, IA, WA and ME is like letting Diebold double count votes?

  46. 46
    wasabi gasp says:

    Its like rescuing a baby from a burning building.
    /arsonist

  47. 47
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    disenfranchising even.

  48. 48
    Delia says:

    Her brave campaign is like when the Cylons treacherously nuked the Twelve Colonies and only Hillary was there to bravely lead the Galactica on its long quest to find a new home for humanity. But the beleaguered survivors will only find Earth if Florida and Michigan are allowed to seat their delegates with full recognition and to the acclaim of their true leader, Hillary, the Sun Queen.

  49. 49
    AkaDad says:

    Go ahead, laugh it up.

    I am, but I feel better now with your permission.

  50. 50
    Iago says:

    Please I got banned from talkleft, I had to check that place out, because of “racism” due to this post. I kid you not.

    http://www.talkleft.com/commen...../442/10#10

    The thread was “NBC Dismisses The People Of Puerto Rico”
    And I posted

    You must respect all of Puerto Rico’s electoral votes!

    Now onto the results from Finland….

    Snarky to point out that PR has zero electoral votes sure but racist?!? These people NEED her to be the winner so much that they’ll demonize anyone and everyone who disagrees with them.

  51. 51
    Jorge says:

    Like burning Joan of Arc at the stake

    Like giving Native Americans smallpox blankets

    Like the Killing Fields

    but worse.

    Much worse.

  52. 52
    slag says:

    Rachel Maddow has been telling anyone who would listen that Hillary’s taking this thing to the convention. And at that point, Democrats most assuredly lose.

    That said, I’m going to go with the obvious: Not counting Florida and Michigan would be like authorizing a pre-emptive war against a sovereign nation under false pretenses.

  53. 53
    Warren Terra says:

    Iago, the disenfranchisement of the people of Finland is something of an open wound, and to so cruelly remind the TalkLefters of the paim of that disenranchisement was despicable of you. Your banning from TalkLeft – “disenfranchisement” from TalkLeft, I prefer to call it – was entirely justified, and I hope you will contemplate your offense and in some way seek absolution.

    Maybe you could sell some kid’s bicycle and video games, in order to buy an indulgence?

  54. 54
    Jorge says:

    Nicely done, Delia

    Obama/Adama 2008

  55. 55
    1jpb says:

    Iago,

    I think that BTD is from PR, so that snark may have been especially upseting.

    But, what do I know,I don’t even know why exactly I’m banned from TL.

  56. 56
    wasabi gasp says:

    Tub Girl

  57. 57
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    But, what do I know,I don’t even know why exactly I’m banned from TL.

    I’d argue they did you a favor.

  58. 58
    Iago says:

    Notorious P.A.T. Says:

    Hillary’s campaign is like the 1980 US olympic hockey team, with one arm tied behind their backs, fighting the Persians at Thermopylae, Darth Vader’s galactic empire, and every dinosaur of the Jurassic era.

    BEST POST EVER! Well done sir or mam, pat is a rather androgynous name. I finally understand Hillary’s struggle… I think I’ll watch some lifetime channel now and eat some hagendas ice cream.

  59. 59
    rob! says:

    it’s like Sunday Morning Coming Down.

  60. 60
    You're all racists for supporting Obama! says:

    “the fauxgressive blogosphere”

    That’s exactly what Lanny Davis said on Fox News! He said people are turning off other news channels because Fox is the only one that is even fair to Hillary! They’re turning off Balloon Juice and Kos, and the rest of the the fauxgressive blogosphere who want to elect the far right-wing Obama, just because true progressive Hillary opposed the Iraq War from the beginning. The secret Republicans trying to push Hillary Clinton into the gas chambers before Denver!!! Now we know where Saddam’s WMD went!!!! Now we know why his full name is Obama bin Laden!!!!!!!!! Don’t wait until October to realize Obama was working for Bush as the TWENTIETH HIJACKER!!!!!!!!!!!

  61. 61
    Incertus says:

    The crowning bit of stupid on this whole stupid mountain is that FL and MI are going to wind up counting in some form or another. The DNC has said so, more than once. The question is not one of whether or not, but how much, and the possibility that they’ll be seated as-is, while not great, is also not out of the question. But no–we’ve got “it’s like Zimbabwe” to fucking deal with.

  62. 62
    John S. says:

    Disenfranchising two states is like letting Diebold count votes.

    And counting the MI votes is like validating a Soviet election.

    But hey, Lanny Davis is in love with Pravda FOX, so you’re halfway there comrade.

  63. 63
    Iago says:

    Somone needs to a Hillary version of Alanis’ “Isn’t it Ironic”


    It’s like being the inevitable candidate
    ………..and then being sidelined by some uppity MAN!
    Isn’t it Ironic, don’t cha think

  64. 64
    Dreggas says:

    It’s like a bad case of the clap.

  65. 65
    KRK says:

    She’s a veritable Rosa Parks.

    Rosa Parks? Why does Clinton have to be the woman from the Montgomery Bus Boycott? Why can’t she be Martin Luther King?

    I was thinking Nelson Mandela, myself.

    Free-ee Hill-a-ry Clin-ton(‘s Florida and Michigan delegates)!

  66. 66
    rob! says:

    Florida and Michigan Turning It All Around: The Ted McGinley of the Hillary Clinton Campaign!

  67. 67
    KRK says:

    Also Gandhi.

    More Mohandas K. than Indira.

  68. 68
    Delia says:

    Hillary.
    When the evil dictator Slobodan Milosevic was was waging his brutal war in Bosnia against the two breakaway provinces of Florida and Michigan, the world turned its back. Only one person — one woman — had the strength, the backbone, the sheer willpower to stand up and do what it took to stem the bloodletting. Hillary dodged bullets racing down the tarmac of the airstrip in Tuzla to bring the peace accord that would end the fighting.

    Now she’s ready to do it again. Fighting once more to protect the precious voting rights of Florida and Michigan. Fighting as if her own life depended on the outcome.

    Because it does.

  69. 69
    Ted says:

    Four more years of Bushco, courtesy of Balloon Juice and the fauxgressive blogosphere.

    We already are well aware you’re part of the screaming baby faction, and will vote for McCain or not vote. You know, since Obama isn’t going to deliver on your complete list of things you require him to do to “win” your vote.

    So go back to Corrente now, where you aren’t a complete fucking joke.

  70. 70
    Just Some Fuckhead says:

    Hillary.
    When the evil dictator Slobodan Milosevic was was waging his brutal war in Bosnia against the two breakaway provinces of Florida and Michigan, the world turned its back. Only one person—one woman—had the strength, the backbone, the sheer willpower to stand up and do what it took to stem the bloodletting. Hillary dodged bullets racing down the tarmac of the airstrip in Tuzla to bring the peace accord that would end the fighting.

    Now she’s ready to do it again. Fighting once more to protect the precious voting rights of Florida and Michigan. Fighting as if her own life depended on the outcome.

    Because it does.

    I read that in Movie Guy voice and had shivers.

  71. 71
    1jpb says:

    Not Mandela. It’s too much trouble traveling while being on Homeland Security’s list for bad people.

  72. 72
    Darkness says:

    a rampantly sexist reference to a va-jay-jay.

    I learn new words here every day. Thanks.

  73. 73
    kdaug says:

    Hate to point out the obvious, but it’s clearly fizbin.

  74. 74
    Delia says:

    You’re all racists for supporting Obama! Says:

    “the fauxgressive blogosphere”

    That’s exactly what Lanny Davis said on Fox News! He said people are turning off other news channels because Fox is the only one that is even fair to Hillary! They’re turning off Balloon Juice and Kos, and the rest of the the fauxgressive

    etc.

    Somebody forgot to take their meds today.

  75. 75

    Republican officials change the vote counting rules after the election so that their candidate wins.

    Now, the Clinton campaign wants to change the vote counting rules after the election so that their candidate wins.

    But see, that’s her unspoken platform. “I’ve learned to play dirty politics just like the Republicans do. Obama hasn’t.”

    So the question is, so we want Democrats who play just as nasty as Rethuglicans, or do we want something better?

  76. 76
    KRK says:

    Those folks at The Onion must have a time machine or crystal ball or something. A headline from March of 2005: Could Hillary Clinton Have What It Takes To Defeat The Democrats In 2008?

    (seen at Jack & Jill’s place)

  77. 77
    Soylent Green says:

    Rachel Maddow has been telling anyone who would listen that Hillary’s taking this thing to the convention. And at that point, Democrats most assuredly lose.

    While in response her colleagues have all been saying that this will be over within a few weeks and then it will be hugs and kisses.

    I thought so too but now Maddow’s view looks more and more to be right on target.

    Figuratively speaking, of course, could someone please beat Hillary Clinton to death with a 16-pound sledge hammer?

  78. 78
  79. 79
    John S. says:

    But see, that’s her unspoken platform.

    Nah, it’s pretty much spoken:

    If we had the Republican rules, I would already be the nominee.”

  80. 80
    zoe from pittsburgh says:

    From Joshua:

    This whole situation with denying the people of Florida and Michigan to have their votes counted even though most of them didn’t vote because they knew their votes wouldn’t count is pretty much exactly like when Hitler invaded Poland. It’s also like kicking puppies.

    Like, not an annoying yappy puppy, either. I’m talking a nice, friendly golden retriever puppy. Or maybe a puggle. Who would kick a puggle? A monster, that’s who. A monster like Barack Obama, Howard Dean, and Stalin. And Judas Iscariot. Who all may as well be the same person, for all I’m concerned.

    One of the funniest things I’ve read all day– thank you for that. Days like these require a lot of humor to get through and you just made it a tad easier.

  81. 81
    Darkrose says:

    I’d say it’s like rolling a 1 on your saving throw and the mean GM refusing to let you re-roll based on a feat that you TOTALLY ALWAYS HAD but somehow neglected to put on your character sheet.

  82. 82
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    It’s like this.

  83. 83
    jake says:

    It’s like a guy who knocks down a happy hopeful penis just after it learns to fly.

    It’s like … why, it’s like raaaaain on a wedding cake. A free riiiiide when you’ve already paid.

  84. 84
    zoe from pittsburgh says:

    I rruly want to know how Hillary argues the following simulatenously:

    a) that the so-called disenfranchisement of Florida and Michigan is just like historic battles for sufferage and civil rights;

    b) that she has the most popular votes ONLY IF one effectively disenfranchise all states that use caucuses instead of standard voting. (You know, just don’t count ’em.)

    Hillary is working my last bruised, tender nerve. Clearly there is no one able to convince her to retire her campaign– except for maybe Bill? Barring that, I think she will take this as far as possible, as far as will be tolerated until her supporters desert her. As we all know now, some never will regardless of what she says or does. They see it as loyalty and then have the gall to call Obama’s supporter’s “Obamaniacs.”

    I don’t know why she won’t stop, the answer just isn’t clear, and she really is completely unpredictable at this point. The bottom line is that she truly needs to stop. Take a day off, take a long walk in the woods and think about what she’s doing and why.

  85. 85
    UnkyT says:

    like Moses leading the Israelites out of egypt, minus any burning bush references. god I hope no hillaryis44ers are watching.

  86. 86
    merrinc says:

    Maybe I’m paranoid, but I don’t see the humor that seems to be obvious to others.

    I see HRC going “nuclear” and obliterating the D party. Time will tell.

    I worry about this too. After months of explaining why Obama is the lesser candidate and in many ways unfit to hold the highest office in the land, she’s building to the grand finale: if he gets the nomination, it will not be legitimate. And her supporters are buying it.

    On the NBC Nightly News, Andrea Mitchell was citing the number of female voters in KY who insisted that they would vote McCain or not at all if Obama was the nominee. Cut to “You really antagonize people when you’re not fair and this election has not been fair!”

    It’s obvious that she doesn’t give a damn about destroying Obama (it may even be her goal) and hence the Dem’s chances of taking back the White House but it seems that if she’s truly concerned about sexism, she might give a thought or two to how this will affect the next woman who wants to run for president.

  87. 87
    UnkyT says:

    speaking of hillaryis44

    It was not Hillary announcing the second best fundraising month in April.

    It was not the fact of Hillary adding to her popular vote total making her the people’s candidate with a majority of the popular vote. By contrast Barack Obama has to demand the subtraction of this state and that state and ignoring that commonwealth in order to arrive at the absurd conclusion that he wins the popular vote. It’s Barack Math – subtract states you lost in order to come up with a winning margin.

    omg, hillarious. i think admin at hillaryis44 will now sufficiently replace sisyphus at blogs4conservatives

  88. 88
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    It’s obvious that she doesn’t give a damn about destroying Obama (it may even be her goal) and hence the Dem’s chances of taking back the White House but it seems that if she’s truly concerned about sexism, she might give a thought or two to how this will affect the next woman who wants to run for president.

    This is very reminiscent of the way she took her lunge at Hillarycare: autocratic and deaf to advice because she knew better than everyone else. She managed to make the idea toxic for more than a decade and a half. Hopefully, her effect on women running for president will not be as long lived.

  89. 89
    TheFountainHead says:

    How long will the Democratic talking heads be able to keep saying, “This is good for the party, and we’ll all be united in the end!” with a straight face or without bursting into tears for that matter??

  90. 90
    Cain says:

    Like Harry Met Sally!

    cain

  91. 91
    Mary says:

    Al Giordano is trying to make everyone just relaaaaaaax at The Field.

    I am now going to demonstrate to you what would happen if – either at the urging of the Obama campaign (since Axelrod telegraphed an olive branch today), or simply to pull the rug out from under a loose cannon (formerly known as Senator Clinton) that’s been rolling around the Sunshine State deck all day – suddenly the Florida and Michigan delegations were fully seated, gasp, including their superdelegates!

    His post doesn’t address the complete worst case scenario — Obama getting 0 delegates from MI — but it does get discussed in comments. He’s still pretty optimistic that All Will Be Well, but these are the Democrats we’re talking about, right?

  92. 92
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    It would require Bush-level delusional thinking on the part of Clinton and her crypto-Marianist followers to believe that the Democratic party would hand her the nomination in 2012 as a reward for screwing them out of this election.

  93. 93
    1jpb says:

    It’s like a 12 year old rape victim where the ruthless defender X of the 41 year old rapist makes up things (such as: ‘I have been informed that the complainant is emotionally unstable with a tendency to seek out older men and to engage in fantasizing,’ wrote [defender X], without referring to the source of that allegation. ‘I have also been informed that she has in the past made false accusations about persons, claiming they had attacked her body.’) not in evidence and not known to the investigator for the case.

    And it’s like this defender X subsequently accused the victims of her own husband’s sexual harassment (and alleged rape, in one instance) of making it up as well.

    It’s like that kind of person, which is why the SDs need to stop this from going down the nuclear road, which only leads to oblideration.

  94. 94
    slag says:

    While in response her colleagues have all been saying that this will be over within a few weeks and then it will be hugs and kisses.

    I thought so too but now Maddow’s view looks more and more to be right on target.

    She does and is. Seriously, somebody’s gotta do something. At this point, Hillary’s just a victim of an enabling Democratic Party. She’s made it clear that if they don’t stop her, she’s not stopping herself. It’s obviously a cry for help.

    Somebody help Hillary!

  95. 95
    Rick Taylor says:

    Hillary is working my last bruised, tender nerve. Clearly there is no one able to convince her to retire her campaign—except for maybe Bill?

    From the Borowitz Report:

    In what some Democratic Party insiders are calling a particularly ominous sign for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, former president Bill Clinton today became the latest superdelegate to switch from Sen. Clinton to her rival, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill).

    Sources close to the former president said that Mr. Clinton had been mulling such a defection for weeks, as early as the night of the Iowa primary, but that he only decided to make his decision public today.

    and

    Just moments after former presidential candidate John Edwards endorsed Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) for president, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY) vowed to “continue the fight” for Edwards’ endorsement.

    “My friends, I will fight for the endorsement of John Edwards, even if it takes all summer,” she told supporters in Louisville, Kentucky. “I have not begun to fight for this endorsement!”

  96. 96
    Bey says:

    minus any burning bush references

    Damn that yeast infection. No wonder she’s so berserk.

  97. 97
    John Cole says:

    Al Giordano is trying to make everyone just relaaaaaaax at The Field.

    I don’t want to relax. I just want the bullshit to stop.

    I left the GOP to get away from this bullshit, and I see the same stuff coming from her.

  98. 98
    KRK says:

    Mary Says:

    Al Giordano is trying to make everyone just relaaaaaaax at The Field.

    Actually, it worked for me. I read his post and was reminded again that Clinton’s schemes have been pretty unsuccessful so far. This was my favorite bit:

    I had to laugh aloud at an email I got today with the strangest of conspiracy theories. It posited that the remaining superdelegates might somehow force Obama to pick Clinton as his running mate. That is too funny. I have looked over the list, I know many of these undeclared supers, and these remaining undeclared ones are, by and large, the most milquetoast and neutrality-loving “wanna-be-friends-with-everyone” types in the entire party! They’re the least likely to try and impose anything on a nominee.

  99. 99
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    … it would be like Dick Cheney shooting America in the face.

    … it would be like endless farting in a full elevator with no stops between the 100th and 1st floor.

    … it would be like a deer in the grille of your BMW.

    … it would be like giving Florida to Cuba.

    … it would be like not letting Hillary win.

    … it would be like guzzling a two liter bottle of Coke and downing a package of Mentos.

  100. 100
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    She does and is. Seriously, somebody’s gotta do something. At this point, Hillary’s just a victim of an enabling Democratic Party. She’s made it clear that if they don’t stop her, she’s not stopping herself. It’s obviously a cry for help.

    This primary has shown that as a whole, the Democratic party is weak-kneed and still has no spine. Hillary is calling the shots now, and everyone is waiting on her.

    No “leader” wants to step and decisively end the farce that her campaign has become. If Obama wins, I can see the party finally growing a spine. But if Hillary wins, she becomes its spine.

  101. 101
    JGabriel says:

    The Politico:

    John McCain’s campaign is using their campaign website to encourage supporters to post supportive comments on political blogs, including the most well-known liberal site in the blogosphere…

    John McCain is a great guy. He’s like Jesus, you know.

    Once, when I was going through the DT’s, McCain came along and changed a gallon of water for me into wine. Boy, was my AA sponsor pissed. But it really helped calm me down.

    And it wasn’t any of that expensive wine, either. I’d asked for a good Barolo, but he just turned that water all into Ripple ™, and said, “That’s what a good American drinks, not any of that French shit.”

    Yeah, I know Barolo’s an Italian wine, but he was just so patriotic about it, so caring for my well-being and Americanness, that I just didn’t have the heart to tell him.

    So I just drank all that Ripple ™ down. And when I puked it back up, it came out red, white, and blue.

    Thank God, for John McCain! He’s my bitch, and I ain’t letting no tell me different.

    .

  102. 102
    flavortext says:

    It’s like a power-hungry politician who will stop at nothing to become this nation’s president, even if it means abandoning their ethics and sanity, and destroying an entire party.

    Oh wait, that’s just sad.

  103. 103
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    It’s like a power-hungry politician who will stop at nothing to become this nation’s president, even if it means abandoning what little is left of their principles, ethics and sanity, and destroying an entire party and possibly the nation.

    Improved for truthiness.

  104. 104
    1jpb says:

    JGabriel,

    That McCain puke seems to be even better than the (now) proverbial Kool-Aid that has been made so popular by those who seek to disparage supporters of BHO.

    But, McCain supporters going around and reiterating Hannitiy’s greatest hits not would be very effective. The joke’s on them because myDD, taylor marsh, noquarter, hillaryis44, and a few others have already been aping the anti-BHO wingnut stuff, so they’re a little late to the party. And, there is some question as to who is aping whom, e.g. there is reason to believe that we’ve already been exposed to the originator* of some of this slander. But, I look forward to seeing comments about the dreaded middle name, and declaring surrender to the terrorists, and class warfare, and so on.

    * http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITI......madrassa/

  105. 105
    flyerhawk says:

    I didn’t read all the comments but I think that you went a little far with the Reichstag comment if only because stupid Clinton people will use that to accuse you of comparing Clinton to Hitler.

    They have entered a level of delusion that is uncharted. It is a land where all men are sexists just waiting to blossom and where the Clinton junta is only days away from happening.

  106. 106
    Delia says:

    It’s like the southern states seceding from the Union and firing at Fort Sumter because their sacred States’ Rights have been violated and they have to plunge the country into devastating civil war to defend their self image.

    Oh wait. That one doesn’t turn out so good. Sorry, Hill.

  107. 107
    Delia says:

    flyerhawk Says:

    I didn’t read all the comments but I think that you went a little far with the Reichstag comment if only because stupid Clinton people will use that to accuse you of comparing Clinton to Hitler.

    Hey, she compared herself to the people of Zimbabwe under Mugabe and she can’t handle a Reichstag joke?

    As one brilliant woman politician recently cawed, “Well, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. And I’m very comfortable in the kitchen.”

    Or is it now sexist for me, a woman, to recall that incident?

  108. 108
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Or is it now sexist for me, a woman, to recall that incident?

    Naah, you’re just a self-hating Obama supporter and that is nothing new to us here.

    /snark

  109. 109
    Blue Raven says:

    I also think that Hillary’s approach is like how the English invaded Ireland. At first, they got asked over and treated like honored guests and the saviors of All That Is Right by a schmuck who was rightfully booted out of the throne of Ireland. Once Edward Longshanks and his buddies got that twerp restored, they decided it was too nice an island to leave in the hands of such lousy Catholics with that weird language of theirs. And their story for why they had to stay in charge of Ireland kept changing. If Clinton keeps this up, we’ll have another Great Hunger at the convention when the party loses a chunk of its membership to mental potato blight.

  110. 110
    dslak says:

    It’s like 10,000 reasons not to vote for Obama when all you asked for was a reason to vote for Hillary.

  111. 111
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    It’s like 10,000 reasons not to vote for Obama when all you asked for was a reason to vote for Hillary.

    It’s because there is no reason to vote for Hillary, so they have to go after Obama.

    Hillary’s new campaign slogan: “Vote for me because the other guy is worse!”

    Yeah, that’ll sell.

  112. 112
    dslak says:

    Actually, I was parodying the line from Alanis Morrissette’s song: “It’s like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife.”

  113. 113
    Redhand says:

    I can’t contribute anything super witty to this thread, but I will say I went into catatonic shock-of-disbelief when I saw the video of Hillary comparing the present situation to Florida 2000, and talking about the damage done when the popular votes “weren’t all counted.” Clearly, there is nothing she won’t say to steal the nomination herself.

    The only worse comparison is to Zimbabwe, because we know that Mugabe and Obama are both, er, “black.”

    I sure hope the damage this does to Hillary’s Senate longevity is significant.

  114. 114
    mere mortal says:

    I’ve got one.

    The refusal of the Democrats to count the votes of Democratic primary voters is like letting the state legislature of Florida, controlled by Republicans, disenfranchise every Democratic primary voter (because the Democratic party insists that corn farmers and white rural residents of one of the smallest states get first shot). Which apparently is fine if you’re an Obama fan, once you know the outcome of the Florida primary.

    Because Florida House Bill 537 was a large election law, ostensibly establishing a paper trail for future elections, so there would be fewer stolen elections.
    http://www.sptimes.com/2007/05.....lot_.shtml

    Republicans set the primary date too early as a part of this bill, and blocked an amendment that would move the date into compliance.
    http://www.sodahead.com/question/83221

    But who cares about the facts? Everyone’s already chosen their sides, which means they’ve also chosen their facts.

  115. 115
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    The refusal of the Democrats to count the votes of Democratic primary voters is like letting the state legislature of Florida, controlled by Republicans yet in collusion with the Florida Democrats, willingly disenfranchise every Democratic primary voter. …

  116. 116
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Fixed.

    Late night blogging…!

  117. 117
    El Cid says:

    When I was a child, one of my close relatives was a Florida Democratic primary voter, and to this day his stories of labor camps, begging for food, violent pogroms, and lynching haunt me to this day.

    John Cole should reach out and publish a collection of poems from the Florida Democratic primary voter community.

    Someday I look to see a Museum of the Florida Democratic Primary Voter on the National Mall.

  118. 118
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    … it would be like having Harold Ickes and eleven other Clinton supporters in the DNC Rules Panel voting unanimously to strip Florida of their delegates last August.

    /sarcasm

    Don’t worry, their delegates will be seated, as will the Michigan delegates. Probably not in a way that will satisify the hard core Clintonista, but they will be seated. Please note that there is no need to count their votes since the votes are meaningless in the Democratic primary. That is unless your candidate needs to have the votes because she is grasping at straws and trying to find some way to convince the delegates to overthrow the decision of the voters in the other 48 states.

    Or, to quote a recent statement by Nancy Pelosi:

    How our delegates are selected is by a process and the person who has the most delegates becomes the nominee of the party. It’s not been about the popular vote….at the end of the day someone will have the winning number of delegates. Delegate vote is the currency of the realm at the Democratic National Convention.

    Got that? Delegates are ‘the currency of the realm at the Democratic National Convention‘.

    I will say this one more time for the hard core, unreasonable Clinton supporter:

    If you insist that the popular vote matters more than the delegates, then please state, clearly and concisely, how you propose to count the popular vote in caucus states without disenfranchising the voters of those states. You lose points if you try to weasel out of it by saying meme like ‘caucuses are undemocratic’ or ‘those states will not vote democratic this fall’.

    Give us a real answer that contains none of the latest Clinton Talking Points.

    You can’t do it, so I won’t wait around for an answer. So drop it with the ‘popular vote matters’ crap.

    It’s the delegates baby! And nothing else. Your only hope is if your candidate does the same thing to the convention that she has done with her campaign: drive it off a cliff and take everyone with her.

  119. 119
    John S. says:

    Which apparently is fine if you’re an Obama fan, once you know the outcome of the Florida primary.

    I voted for Obama in Florida and it didn’t fucking matter what the outcome was. The candidates agreed not to campaign here which totally invalidated the results (except in Soviet Florida). We all knew that our votes would not count. We were stripped of our delegates long in advance, and Hillary did not have a problem with it until after she started losing.

    So what the hell are you talking about? Or are you just another person without a grasp on reality?

    The refusal of the Democrats to count the votes of Democratic primary voters is like letting the state legislature of Florida, controlled by Republicans, disenfranchise every Democratic primary voter

    Oh, I guess you are.

    Newsflash – not only did Democrats here go along with the revised election calendar, they actively supported it. None of the candidates had a problem with it then, either. So really, what the fuck are you talking about?

  120. 120
    over_educated says:

    Disenfranchising two states is like letting Diebold count votes.

    It’s also kryptonite to Obama’s chances of winning in November.

    Go ahead, laugh it up.

    But McCain will get the last laugh. Four more years of Bushco, courtesy of Balloon Juice and the fauxgressive blogosphere

    You know, there’s a strong meme being pushed by some parts of the Clinton support sphere that now that Obama has won, his supporters need to beg forgiveness from them, apologize for being so mean. My overall reaction is generally “If you’re holding your breath, please continue.”

    Barack is what, 10 points up on McCain in most polls? Oh, he also had more folks turn out to his rally in Florida than Hillary. Yeah, he’s in trouble. LOL.

  121. 121
    PeterJ says:

    John McCain’s campaign is using their campaign website to encourage supporters to post supportive comments on political blogs, including the most well-known liberal site in the blogosphere…

    So John McCane is the troll king?

    Also, is there an email or a way to contact his campaign so that he might send some of his trolls here?

  122. 122
    merrinc says:

    Republicans set the primary date too early as a part of this bill, and blocked an amendment that would move the date into compliance.

    There aren’t any “low information” voters here so no one’s buying that the Florida Democrats put up a good fight over the primary date.

    (Damn link better work this time.)

  123. 123
    marjo says:

    I’m from Michigan, so I should know. The oppression of me is like… the canceling of My So-called Life, Firefly and Angel, all put together. or…something else.

  124. 124
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Marie Cocco has another Clinonista screed up at WaPo. The gist of this one is that we have to elect Hillary because women won’t have a shot for another generation.

    Yet the question remains: If not now, when? If not Hillary, who?

    The record suggests that if Clinton is not the nominee, no woman will seriously contend for the White House for another generation. This was the outcome of the 1984 Geraldine Ferraro experiment. After 24 years, Ferraro remains the only woman ever to run for national office on a major-party ticket. And she was selected, not elected, as a vice presidential candidate.

    Vote for her because she’s a woman. M’kay.

  125. 125
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    Oh, he also had more folks turn out to his rally in Florida than Hillary. Yeah, he’s in trouble. LOL.

    Really?! Now that is just priceless…lol! Hillary is trying to pretend she is going to be their angel to the rescue, and instead they flock to Obama when they both show up in the state.

    Ungrateful Obama supporters! ;)

  126. 126
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Really?! Now that is just priceless…lol! Hillary is trying to pretend she is going to be their angel to the rescue, and instead they flock to Obama when they both show up in the state.

    Guess that her persona-of-the-week, Civil Rights Hillary, isn’t working out so well. Maybe she should switch back to Corncob Pipe Hillary and go for the rural districts. There must be a red pickup truck somewhere in Florida.

  127. 127

    It’s like the 80s, but with less hair.

  128. 128

    It’s like sunshowers are legal grounds for cutting school.

  129. 129
    cleek says:

    Civil Rights Hillary,

    now with realistic fist pumping action!

  130. 130
    Wilfred says:

    But who cares about the facts? Everyone’s already chosen their sides, which means they’ve also chosen their facts.

    That’s right. Hillary’s campaign is like throwing a no-hitter for 12 innings and losing on an error in the bottom of the 13th.

    You lost. Tough shit, now go home.

  131. 131
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    A good laugh from an excerpt out of a post by Wonk about Hillaryis44:

    henry Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    I need some help.
    the bar up the street from me is ditching all of thier tvs and going hi def.
    Friday the owner is putting all tvs out for trash. two are huge but he c annot give them away. I have spent the afternoon trying to find anyone that would take them for free,. And i come up empty. i am sure that they could be put to use somewhere.

    filbertsf Says:
    May 21st, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Henry, is it possible for you to sell the TVs and donate the proceeds to HRC? Her campaign needs the cash.

    The Clinton campaign, strapped for cash, is reduced to dumpster-diving and selling their finds on eBay.

    Film at eleven.

  132. 132
    Original Lee says:

    I accidentally posted this on the wrong thread:
    OK, so now we know that the Clintonistas want Obama to give up and go away because he’s too black to win in November. Apparently the point of party primaries is to test your GE message, and this whole winning delegates thing is too patriarchal. Yes, my children, actually competing and winning is too full of testosterone to be a valid method of selecting a candidate to run in the GE. I guess if McCain wins the Electoral College, he’s just supposed to step aside, too, because Clinton will have shown she’s the better candidate by ummm…. not winning, or something.

    So I guess not seating delegates from FL and MI is like the episode from the Brady Bunch where they have to get rid of Tiger because Jan is allergic to him, but then they find out at the last minute, when Tiger is actually in the car on the way to his new home, that she is allergic to the flea powder instead, so they get to keep him and everybody is happy.

  133. 133
    KevinD says:

    In Soviet Florida, politicians vote for you.

  134. 134
    Punchy says:

    Can we arrange some sort of an agreement, that by if Clinton somehow wins the nommy, Big Dick Democrat at TL gets to host any and every blog he wants. And if she loses and goes away, he must disappear, too?

    Seriously, will JM keep this jackass around after the convention? To hear him bitch for 4 more years and delete another 14,392 usernames b/c they disagree with him?

  135. 135
    Zifnab says:

    That’s right. Hillary’s campaign is like throwing a no-hitter for 12 innings giving up 10 runs in the top of the 4th and losing on an error in the bottom of the 13th spending the rest of the game arguing with the Ump about a pitch call in the bottom of the 2nd.

    You lost. Tough shit, now go home.

    After Super Tuesday, this game busted wide open. Hillary has been going down hill (no pun intended!) every since she realized the Democratic Primary wasn’t winner-take-all.

    That said, she didn’t give two fat farts about Florida and Michigan until she realized they were necessary for her to win in August. Her campaign absolutely stinks of opportunism.

  136. 136
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    I have read TalkLeft for quite some time, and I would not last there for more than one post. While Jeralyn writes some good stuff (before she followed Bloviating Tiresome Dipshit off the cliff), they run that place like a left version of RedState.

    No thank you. If you have to ban users or delete posts because you don’t like what is being said, then you need to move out of your parents house and get to know the real world.

    I will take the mosh pit here at Balloon Juice over any other blog, any day. No competition. Free speech rules. Period.

    Not the misogynistic/sexist type of period, ok?! ;)

  137. 137
    Bill Belichick says:

    I think it’s like those 2 PA NFL teams trying to steal championships from the Dynasty.

  138. 138
    El Cid says:

    I was deeply moved by that Sally Struthers-hosted fund raising infomercial appeal where you could help Florida Democratic Primary Voters to survive their refugee starvation status for only 3 cents a day, providing them with a nutritious protein gruel and free windbreakers from the UN.

  139. 139
    Dan says:

    I got banned from TL in about 3 seconds. Just asked some relevant questions about HRC’s candidacy. Bam! Goodbye!

  140. 140
    cleek says:

    she’s crossed the Lieberman Line. ouch!

  141. 141
    KevinD says:

    I got banned from TL in about 3 seconds. Just asked some relevant questions about HRC’s candidacy. Bam! Goodbye!

    Yeah, just what we need. Another 4-8 years of close-minded, know-it-all-ism, no thanks. I’m going with Barack the “Secret Muslem”.

  142. 142
    D-Chance. says:

    nightjar Says:

    It’s like Midget Wrestling.

    Well, given the participants, it’s rather fitting…

  143. 143
    KevinD says:

    Sorry, Muslim, not muslem.

  144. 144
    Jen says:

    It’s like George W. Bush handing any Democrat with a pulse a victory in November on a silver platter with a finger bowl and a nice parsley garnish, and that since Barack is the closest he reaches for it, but Hillary deliberately smacks down his hand, drinks the finger bowl, and overturns the platter, and stomps on the shards, while she says that she had to destroy the victory in order to save the victory, and obviously if we all had just gotten that straight in the first place we would still have our victory and it is Barack’s fault.

  145. 145
    D-Chance. says:

    kind of an off white Says:
    It’s like, whoa, man, can’t we just have one election without Florida it up?

    To show solidarity with Clinton as she nobly battles the patriarchy, I say we saw off America’s Wang.

    The Florida Canal, spanning from Pensacola to Jacksonville. The only two questions are; which side of I-10 do we build on and who gets Tallahassee?

  146. 146
    The Other Ed says:

    Clinton’s speech yesterday was destructive to the party as a whole and party leaders need to let her know that it will not be tolerated by someone who aspires to leadership herself. Hillary is becoming another Lieberman/Zell Miller and needs to be called on these self-serving, hypocritical and anti-Democratic statements.

    In fact, if he has any party loyalty, it’s time for Al Gore to step up and squash this “disenfranchising FL/MI is the same as 2000″ meme before it undermines the legitimacy of the probable Democratic nominee. He has the unique ability to address this and nip it in the bud. Let’s see if he’ll be up to the challenge.

  147. 147
    The Other Steve says:

    Apparently the Hilbots got all upset after Indiana, because Hillary didn’t win it by as big of a margin as everyone was expecting, the news media said so… and that proves that the news media is biased!

    And it is this bias which is hurting Hillary, not the fact that her campaign sucks.

    The Republicans are convinced the media is biased too.

    So I have one request.

    Can we get the media to actually be biased?

  148. 148
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Reading all the comments about how Hills is going to destroy the Democratic party, I’ve started to wonder: exactly how would she accomplish it? What sort of power does she wield over the party itself? What could she do to actually destroy the party (as opposed to merely wrecking Obama’s chances at getting elected, which is not the same thing)?

    Seriously, what sort of things do y’all envision her doing that will tank the party’s overall effectiveness?

    The Presidency isn’t the only office up for grabs; there’s Congress, gubernatorial and legislative offices, etc. Yeah, McThuselah as President would be bad, but a 60% Democratic majority in Congress would go a long way towards mitigating that.

    I just find the pearl-clutching a little puzzling.

  149. 149
    CFisher says:

    The Florida Canal, spanning from Pensacola to Jacksonville. The only two questions are; which side of I-10 do we build on and who gets Tallahassee?

    I’m thinking maybe it’s time to end our occupation of Florida and give it back to Spain. ;)

  150. 150
    Wilfred says:

    Hillary has been going down hill (no pun intended!)

    But you made the pun of the day – “Going Down” Hill(ary.

  151. 151
    4tehlulz says:

    I’m thinking maybe it’s time to end our occupation of Florida and give it back to Spain.

    Fuck you man. What did Spain do to you?

  152. 152
    Punchy says:

    Wow, is this shit predictable or WHAT?

    WASHINGTON – Gen. David Petraeus said Thursday that by September he is likely to recommend whether further force reductions in Iraq are possible.

    My sense is that I will be able to make a recommendation at that time for some further reductions,” Petraeus said. “I don’t want to imply that that means” a particular brigade or major combat formation.

    I simply cannot fathom how the military does not see how blatantly they’re being played for political reasons. Bush must be as close to November as possible, but with some time to trumpet the “We Won!! Troops coming home!!” bullshit for 6 weeks or so.

    I predicted these shenanigans 12 months ago. I’m sure others saw this 2 years ago. Unfuckinreal. And of course, Saint Patraeus cannot possibly be questioned on this timing. He’s, after all, a fucking saint!

  153. 153
    w vincentz says:

    All the sports comparisons are very good. Here’s mine.
    It’s like a rousing water polo match, when one of the contestants realizes that the polo pony she’s been riding is drowned, and it’s time for her to stop trying to gallop, gets off his back, and either inflate her water wings or continue to clutch the reins of the dead horse she’s been riding as they both sink to the bottom of the pool.

  154. 154
    SamFromUtah says:

    Not the misogynistic/sexist type of period, ok?!

    Thank you for making that clear. :)

    I think, just to be properly sensitive, we should adopt the British term “full stop” for that dot that appears at the end of declarative sentences.

  155. 155
    Paul L. says:

    For the commenters who defended the writers strike and the Hollywood unions.
    GTA IV Actor Complains About His Salary After Game’s Success; So Why Did He Take The Job?
    Because we all know that his great voice work is why GTA 4 is so popular and all he got was $100,000.

  156. 156
    Original Lee says:

    El Cid – LOL! POTD!

  157. 157
    cleek says:

    remember when that Jesus guy came from Heaven and tried to save mankind, and then the bad people nailed him to a cross and killed him?

    that’s what it’s like for Hillary to lose.

  158. 158
    Zifnab says:

    I predicted these shenanigans 12 months ago. I’m sure others saw this 2 years ago. Unfuckinreal. And of course, Saint Patraeus cannot possibly be questioned on this timing. He’s, after all, a fucking saint!

    They’ve been crowing about Mission Accomplished and telling us all how victory was just around the corner since the tanks rolled into Bagdad. At this point, the Ghost of Bagdad Bob has completely possessed the White House Press Office.

    If, come September 2008, Petraeus announces a full withdrawal of US troops from Iraq… starting in January 2009… I seriously doubt we’ll see a bunch of McCain converts. Everyone who is gullible enough to bite on that line will have fallen into the McCain camp long ago.

  159. 159
    Wilfred says:

    I think, just to be properly sensitive, we should adopt the British term “full stop” for that dot that appears at the end of declarative sentences.

    There was a certain full stop in my life when I was not so sensitive. Full stopically, I would get angry at my girl friend of the full stop, like for example when I was trying to study the full stopic table of the elements or the flora and fauna of the Pleistocene full stop.

    Works for me.

  160. 160
    Z says:

    Clinton is like Moses, calling out to the DLC to ‘Let my people go!’ She and only she can bravely and boldly lead her people out of the desert of their oppression into the promised Hillaryland.

    (After of course, slaughtering the first born children of and bringing the Red Sea crashing down on the heads of any Democratically inclined voter who isn’t an older woman or Appalachian).

  161. 161
    Scott de B. says:

    Other things counting the Florida primary is like:

    The Storming of the Bastille
    Lexington and Concord
    Losing Your Virginity
    Charles Lindbergh’s Solo Flight
    The Building of the Pyramids
    Man Getting Hit By Football

  162. 162
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Wow, is this shit predictable or WHAT?

    This will follow the Iraqi elections in October (Six weeks of purple fingers, ya’ll!) which will be trumpeted as proof that the democratization of Iraq is a success. There will be no mention of the fact that “for security reasons” there won’t be a polling place within miles of those places where the population follows Muqtada al-Sadr. Said places to be under 24 hour curfew anyway.

    Petraeus, Bush and McCain will then go on to assert that the new strategy is working and that success is just around the corner. Normal troop rotations will be hailed as “bringing the troops home.” That Petraeus plans to ask to have them all back – and more – as soon as our general election is safely past will not be mentioned.

    Soon after the Democratic president takes the oath, Republicans will discover that we’re actually losing in Iraq and that it’s the Democrats’ fault for demoralizing our troops and emboldening the insurgents.

  163. 163
    1jpb says:

    GCM,

    The damage she causes is

    1) that she reinforces the idea that the D party is the wolf in sheep’s clothing (as noted by Malcolm X.) That is, BS and manipulation are the D party’s currency of choice, which is why triangulator/manipulator-in-chief HRC is accepted and appreciated. On the other hand, the Rs are, mostly, upfront about who they’ll screw, and they openly make justifications for such activities.

    2) she’s not a leader. Contrary to her sloganeering, she’s not been particularly effective in the Senate, and she’s made up stuff about being “instrumental” in Ireland, and Tuzla, and SCHIP, and FMLA. And, none of her Senate primary or general campaigns were against serious challengers. Her two biggest tasks have been health care reform, and her presidential campaign. Both of which have shown that in a pinch she’s a knee capper without results, but she’s not a leader.

    3) she (sexism victimology comments), WJC (reverse racism comments in the new People), and surrogates are actively working to undermine the D party nominee. It’s very late in this contest, but they are blatantly, aggressively, and loudly stigmatizing BHO’s primary win as the result of sexism and reverse racism. This poisoning of the well is very bad for Ds because political fratricide is much more powerful than attacks from the opposition.

    4) she and her campaign are actively legitimizing the wingnut attackers (e.g. Fox and the Rush show, and hanging with Scaife, and adopting and amplifying (and creating*?) wingnut guilt by association character assassination of BHO, e.g. Wright, and he’s not a Muslim “as far as I know.”) And, the HRC team (e.g. Lanny and Terry) has gone out of it’s way to declare that the wingnut media view is the most correct view of reality. Clearly this is damaging to the D party, because the wingnut view is, by definition, contrary to the principles of the D party, that’s why there’s two parties.

    *http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/01/22/obama.madrassa/

  164. 164
    germ78 says:

    You’re all wrong. Hillary’s campaign is like Donnie Darko where Donnie is pulled into an alternate reality of open defiance and illusion by Frank the Rabbit when Frank summons Donnie away from being crushed by a falling jet engine the Obama campaign on super tuesday.

  165. 165
    Cyrus says:

    Conservatively Liberal Says:

    … it would be like giving Florida to Cuba.

    Sounds like a good idea to me. Fun fact: four of the five Watergate burglars were Cuban-Americans from Miami. The 2000 election was not the first time that Florida fucked up American politics.

  166. 166
    Tax Analyst says:

    Dennis – SGMM Says:

    It’s like brave Olive Oyl fighting off the misogynistic Bluto.

    Yeah, and all for the chance to take on Wimpy in November.

    Popeye would be absolutely fucking apoplectic – he might have to “moiderize somebody”.

  167. 167
    Brachiator says:

    Grumpy Code Monkey Says:

    Reading all the comments about how Hills is going to destroy the Democratic party, I’ve started to wonder: exactly how would she accomplish it? What sort of power does she wield over the party itself? What could she do to actually destroy the party (as opposed to merely wrecking Obama’s chances at getting elected, which is not the same thing)?

    Seriously, what sort of things do y’all envision her doing that will tank the party’s overall effectiveness?

    The Presidency isn’t the only office up for grabs; there’s Congress, gubernatorial and legislative offices, etc. Yeah, McThuselah as President would be bad, but a 60% Democratic majority in Congress would go a long way towards mitigating that.

    Throughout the Bush Administration, the Democratic Party has been notoriously gutless in opposing GOP policy. The party leader’s current capitulation to Senator Clinton’s increasingly nonsensical challenges to their authority does not bode well for the future.

    None of Clinton’s reasons for challenging the primary process are legitimate. And yet the Party not only appears to be powerless to shut her down, they passively allow her to re-define party rules, lie about her own prior agreements to abide by the decisions concerning Florida and Michigan, and worst of all, waste valuable time on her futile personal quest for the nomination, when the focus of the party should be on ensuring the defeat of McCain and the Republicans.

    This abysmal lack of party discipline suggests that a Democratic majority in Congress would be about as toothless and ineffective as the current crop of Democrats.

    And here is the killer. Senator Clinton cannot win without severely impacting the future of the Democratic Party. Large numbers of young voters and previously political disengaged people have come to the polls in order to vote for Obama. Despite Hillary’s attempt to now present herself as a Natural Born Feminist, I have not seen that she has brought more people to the table to support the first woman president. And Clinton has not only done little to attempt to appeal to these new voters, but both she and her husband have often dismissed their lack of cynicism and desire for change in this group as proof that naive and uninformed.

    I cannot think of anything more politically self-destructive on Senator Clinton’s part than discouraging these voters from believing that they represent the future of the Democratic Party.

    And where we once had a president Franklin Roosevelt who reminded us that the only thing we had to fear was fear itself, Senator Clinton has now founded her candidacy on an appeal to fear, to complacency and to a desire for the status quo among aging voters, less educated voters and hard core party regulars.

    And although Senator Clinton has promised to work hard for his election when Obama formally becomes the nominee, she has nonetheless recently encouraged a totally unnecessary sense of entitlement and bitterness among her most frenzied supporters, which does not bode well for any future cohesiveness within the party.

    Her senior campaign advisors are cynical hacks who get paid no matter what and don’t care what smoking debris they leave behind, but it is sadly typical that both Bill and Hillary apparently believe that they will eventually be able to smooth things over no matter how much hostility and chaos they encourage along the way. If they bet wrong, Bill and Hillary will still be able to rack up another $109 million in income, but that the party will be able to recover is another matter entirely.

  168. 168
    Rick Taylor says:

    It’s like. . .

    An old man turned ninety-eight
    He won the lottery and died the next day
    It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
    It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late
    And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

    It’s like rain on your wedding day
    It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
    It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
    Who would’ve thought… it figures

    . . .

    Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
    When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
    And life has a funny way of helping you out when
    You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
    In your face

    A traffic jam when you’re already late
    A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
    It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
    It’s meeting the man of my dreams
    And then meeting his beautiful wife
    And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think
    A little too ironic…and, yeah, I really do think…

  169. 169
    TenguPhule says:

    Civil Rights Hillary,

    now with realistic fist pumping action!

    The Surgeon General warns that this should not be deployed around Republicans wearing one or more wetsuits.

  170. 170

    And the Clinton campaign is like Lassie saving Timmy. EVERYONE knows only Lassie can save Timmy, or anyone else for that matter.

  171. 171
    Paul L. says:

    I suspect that if Democrats win the White House and more seats in Congress. Progressive will be screaming that the Democrats must pass more gun control laws because that is what they campaigned on and why the American people elected them.

    “It’s a pro-gun House, a pro-gun Senate and [Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) or Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.)] won’t want to deal with it,” McCarthy said.

  172. 172
    w vincentz says:

    Remember the Kentucky Derby?
    Big Brown (symbolic of ____ in the “horse race”) comes from far back in the pack. Bursts forward in three strides to dominate the field. Eight Bells ( a filly that Hillary picked and touted) runs her heart out. Finishes second. Doesn’t know where the finish line is and keeps galloping.
    A quarter of a mile later, Eight Bells breaks both front legs and is humanely euthanized on the track.
    After winnining by six lengths, Big Brown enters the winner’s circle. Then he dominates AGAIN in the Preakness against all comers. Belmont bound!
    Seems to me, as a horseman, when the race is over, it’s best to pull up rather than die on the track.

  173. 173

    3) she (sexism victimology comments),

    These attempts to trivialize the beast of sexism will not go unnoticed, or unchallenged.

    Those of us who care deeply about the tragedy of sexism will be vigilant and ready to respond.

  174. 174
    w vincentz says:

    “The tragedy of sexism will be vigilant and ready to respond.”
    Bring her on!

  175. 175
    Delia says:

    The oppression of me is like… the canceling of My So-called Life, Firefly and Angel, all put together. or…something else.

    This is so true. What was the AUMF compared to the cancellation of Firefly? I cried for weeks. I mean, if there were more good teevee shows we could forget all about the war and Hillary could bullshit her way to Queen of the Universe.

  176. 176
    Tax Analyst says:

    w vincentz Says:

    Remember the Kentucky Derby?
    Big Brown (symbolic of in the “horse race”) comes from far back in the pack. Bursts forward in three strides to dominate the field. Eight Bells ( a filly that Hillary picked and touted) runs her heart out. Finishes second. Doesn’t know where the finish line is and keeps galloping.
    A quarter of a mile later, Eight Bells breaks both front legs and is humanely euthanized on the track.

    I think euthanizing Hillary is a little extreme, although as a Registered Balloon Juice Sexist I have to admit that the prospect of allowing New York Governor Paterson the opportunity to replace a woman Senator with a black man is mighty appealing.

    The Beast of Sexism is alive and doesn’t give a shit about the vigilance of those who care deeply about it’s tragic consequences. We boldly say to those aggrieved by His Beastliness, “Tough shit, bitches”.

  177. 177
    Tax Analyst says:

    Like a Dangling Conversation

    and

    the Superficial sighs

    OR perhaps

    Verses without rhythm

    Couplets without rhyme

    OR maybe just like

    Gum on the soles of your shoe

    and might even give a run for your money to –

    Finding out your “Angry-Ex” just got a job at the same place your “Current” works…and they’ve decided to be friends.

  178. 178
    pansypoo says:

    on the bright side. this is lauWa’s last chance to be the goodhousekeeping’s most admired woman.

    lauWa was the 1st 1st lady NEVER to be #1.

  179. 179
    w vincentz says:

    “Tough shit bitches”? Oh boy! Watch out! Here they come!
    LOL!!!

  180. 180

    Seig Hill!

    The chants of “Hillary! Hillary!” by the true believers reminds me of a Nuremburg rally. If she could find a way to blame a Reichstag fire on Sen. Obama she would do it in a heartbeat. Her Hillbots are unforgiving over the alleged misogyny of Sen. Obama and his supporters, yet turn a blind eye the actual misogyny of the candidate’s husband who used every trick in the book and almost any smear to try to provide cover for his catting around.

    If Hillary was able to come out ahead in the primaries from a fair and square contest, as much as I dislike her, I would probably have to hold my nose and vote for her. But the tactics she is employing due to the overall incompetence of her campaign is shameful and there’s no way in hell I’d reward her for her disregard of the good of the country and the party.

    She’s dead to me. She’s making Sen. Quisling McLieberman look like a party loyalist.

  181. 181
    Tax Analyst says:

    Zifnab Says:

    That’s right. Hillary’s campaign is like giving up 10 runs in the top of the 4th and spending the rest of the game arguing with the Ump about a pitch call in the bottom of the 2nd.

    I don’t know WTF is going on with my attempt at block-quoting here, but anyway —
    No, it’s like giving up those 10 runs in the top of the 4th and they take you out…and your team rallies and wins 11-10 – and so you complain because you aren’t eligible to get credit for the “Win”, since you were taken out before completing 5 innings.

    Because you WOULD HAVE shut the other team out the final 5 innings…if only you hadn’t been robbed of the opportunity. And your Fan Club is outraged because it’s patently obvious your manager is biased against shitty starting pitchers.

    And it really is WAY past time that shitty starting pitchers should be allowed credit for “Wins” no matter how badly they’ve pitched in a game. After all, they’ve been giving good starting pitchers credit for “Wins” since the very earliest days of organized baseball.

  182. 182
    Conservatively Liberal says:

    These attempts to trivialize the beast of sexism will not go unnoticed, or unchallenged.

    Those of us who care deeply about the tragedy of sexism will be vigilant and ready to respond.

    And?

  183. 183
    D-Chance. says:

    Conservatively Liberal Says:

    These attempts to trivialize the beast of sexism will not go unnoticed, or unchallenged.

    Those of us who care deeply about the tragedy of sexism will be vigilant and ready to respond.

    And?

    Duck. I see a rolling pin headed your way.

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