Listing Starboard

Captain Ed joins the crew at Hot Air:

Today brings exciting news and an end to a time in my life that has proven far more successful than I ever dreamed. Beginning on March 1, I will begin working for Michelle Malkin, a friend, mentor, and writer I have long admired. She has offered me a position as writer at Hot Air, and my blogging will appear exclusively there.

Personally, I think this is great news. The more we can consolidate these folks, the better. Hopefully Red State, the Weekly Standard, and some other fruity right-wing bloggers will also join the staff at Hot Air. Then, come January 2009, the Hitlery/Hussein Obama administration can use their newfound executive powers to quickly round up these pockets of dissidents and we can all move forward into a glorious period of liberal fascism, where the abortions are fast and plentiful and government mandated and so are the womyn.

In other blog news, the Carpetbagger is five. Happy Anniversary, Steve.






63 replies
  1. 1
    Notorious P.A.T. says:

    Michelle Malkin, a friend, mentor, and writer I have long admired.

    So, will Ed be in charge of Countertop Spying or Hiding In Bushes?

  2. 2
    cd6 says:

    They also opened comment registration. I recommend all join in. I’ve been a HotAir commenter for about 6 months.

    Spoofing is greatly satisfying when three people quote and agree with your “Hussein Obama is obviously a Muslim” posts.

    The really sad news is that noted assclown Bryan Preston is leaving. Captain Ed has some big shoes to fill in the insane “Libruls hate America and Freedom and Jesus” ranting department.

  3. 3
    Lee says:

    His recent posts make more sense now.

    He had to raise his wingnut quotient before he could make the switch.

  4. 4
    p.lukasiak says:

    Come on John… there are a nearly infinite number of second and third tier wingnut bloggers who will be available to take CE’s place in the noise machine.

  5. 5
    Mr Furious says:

    LOL! I was going to suggest we all join in as well…

    If nothing else, Hot Air is a tremendous leap forward for Capt Ed in graphics…for a rightie rag, it’s a good-lookin site.

  6. 6

    Laissez les bons temps rouler! I just hope Ed doesn’t make any videos “in costume”.

    OK, I’m lying.

  7. 7
    Billy K says:

    Spoofing is greatly satisfying when three people quote and agree with your “Hussein Obama is obviously a Muslim” posts.

    It’s just other spoofers agreeing. That’s what the internet is nowadays – spoofers spoofing spoofs.

  8. 8
    Attaturk says:

    All I know is that Debbie Schlussel just moved up a notch in the wankersphere!

  9. 9

    Then, come January 2009, the Hitlery/Hussein Obama administration can use their newfound executive powers to quickly round up these pockets of dissidents

    I don’t think it will be necessary to “round them up”, but it really is a good idea to keep them in close proximity.

    Because soon after Jan 2009 there will be some “trigger event” (nominating Bill Clinton to the Supreme Court?) resulting in a chain-reaction of head-explosions in Malkinville, and each detonation will increase the average IQ of the USA by 1 point.

    It’s sort of like putting a critical mass of plutonium together and waiting for a stray neutron. Messy, but fun.

  10. 10
    TR says:

    The more we can consolidate these folks, the better.

    Now there’s an internment camp we can all support. Right, Michelle?

  11. 11
    Jake says:

    As an added bonus, this will make it easier for you to write the “I read these idiots so you don’t have to,” posts.

  12. 12

    Ha! Captain Ed is now Malkin’s “cabinboy.”

  13. 13
    Zifnab says:

    If nothing else, Hot Air is a tremendous leap forward for Capt Ed in graphics…for a rightie rag, it’s a good-lookin site.

    So long as he doesn’t lose “Day By Day”. I don’t know what I’d do without my daily dose of “OMG! PREGGER BOOBIES!”

  14. 14
    The Moar You Know says:

    Isn’t this much stupid concentrated in one place going to throw off the rotation of the planet, killing us all?

  15. 15
    John Cole says:

    The really sad news is that noted assclown Bryan Preston is leaving. Captain Ed has some big shoes to fill in the insane “Libruls hate America and Freedom and Jesus” ranting department.

    All joking aside, this is what we call trading up. Picking up Ed and dropping Preston makes the site much more readable. Preston had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything in the fall may be getting to him, but he really never was as bad as he has been the past few months. Lately, though, he seems pretty hackworthy.

    It is a shame, too, because Ed was who I was using as my barometer for rational conservatives. Now all I have left are James Joyner and Daniel Larison.

  16. 16

    Fruity?

    More homophobia from the left, to go with the latent racism.

  17. 17
    myiq2xu says:

    Then, come January 2009, the Hitlery/Hussein Obama administration can use their newfound executive powers to quickly round up these pockets of dissidents and we can all move forward into a glorious period of liberal fascism, where the abortions are fast and plentiful and government mandated and so are the womyn.

    If the women are gonna be fast, plentiful and government mandated, I’m jumping on the MUP!

    But I thought his first name was Barack. When did he change it to Hitlery?

  18. 18
    rob! says:

    “where the abortions are fast and plentiful and government mandated”

    …and forced gay marriages, too!

    no republican paranoid fantasy is complete without some deep worry that we’ll all have to engage in forbidden, evil, sinful…but somehow *hot*…gay action.

  19. 19
    Caidence (fmr. Chris) says:

    Can us men have our own abortions??!

    I dream of the day when abortions are an egalitarian affair.

  20. 20
    Tom Shipley says:

    Ed seemed to have made a pretty hard right recently on his site, especially with his bi-hourly posts against Obama. This seems to explain that.

    Welcome to the Machine.

  21. 21
    myiq2xu says:

    More homophobia from the left, to go with the latent racism

    .

    It’s not latent now that the KKKlintons have played the race card and Bill is openly wearing his white robes on the campaign trail.

    But you’re right, lefties take a very narrow stance on homosexuality.

  22. 22
    Jake says:

    I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything realizing the majority of Americans don’t see things his way in the fall may be getting to him.

    Fixed.

    Peg Boy Ed won’t lose jack in November unless he placed a large bet on the winner of the election. And that’s one of the many things I don’t “get” about these guys.

    Either they really believe that a Democrat in the White House will result in beheadings and burquas for all – in which case they’re unpleasantly fucking insane; or they just hate the idea of people disagreeing with them – in which case they’re another flavor of unpleasantly fucking insane.

  23. 23
    myiq2xu says:

    Can us men have our own abortions??!

    I dream of the day when abortions are an egalitarian affair.

    Yes we can!

    You won’t even need a coathanger, just some lotion and the right kind of magazine. Then you can abort millions of your potential chilluns every day!

  24. 24
    libarbarian says:

    I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything in the fall may be getting to him, but he really never was as bad as he has been the past few months. Lately, though, he seems pretty hackworthy.

    But at least he wears American clothes.

  25. 25
    Zifnab says:

    Can us men have our own abortions??!

    I dream of the day when abortions are an egalitarian affair.

    That’s what the stem cell research is for. Imagine: Killing millions of unborn babies so we can one day create in ourselves a set of male uteri capable of conceiving and bringing to term more new babies that we can then kill. Truly, utopia is just around the corner.

  26. 26
    myiq2xu says:

    Either they really believe that a Democrat in the White House will result in beheadings and burquas for all – in which case they’re unpleasantly fucking insane; or they just hate the idea of people disagreeing with them – in which case they’re another flavor of unpleasantly fucking insane.

    Those good, red-blooded Americans aren’t looking forward to 4-8 years of daily bitching, moaning and obstuctionism.

    It’s hard work, but somebody has to do it. “It” being the patriotic duty of trying to ruin the next President.

  27. 27

    But you’re right, lefties take a very narrow stance on homosexuality.

    He says innocently.

  28. 28
    Sstarr says:

    I can’t wait to hear more about that Muslim Communist Hussein Hitlery Obama. I gather Communists were similar to the so-called hippies that existed in great numbers in the middle of the last century. The leader of the communists was secretly actress named Jane Fonda. There were also communist weathermen, who were evidently quite violent back then. Nothing like the nice people you see today on the local news telling you to wear a rain slicker. Back then they made bombs before forecasting the weather. They were friends of the Pink Panthers, who were also extremely communist.

    Anyhoo, thank you Capitan Ed for telling us why all of this interesting historical stuff is terribly, terribly relevant today!

  29. 29
    myiq2xu says:

    He says innocently.

    You can tap all you want, but you ain’t coming in.

  30. 30
    binzinerator says:

    I fear a critical mass of Teh Stoopit will reached, elements of bigotry, demagogy and blatant dumbfuckery will collapse and consolidate into a superdense blackhole of idiocy where not even a glimmer of intelligence can ever escape.

    Beware! Venture too close and even a stray ray of critical thinking will be sucked in, distorted beyond recognition as it passes the event horizon, forever trapped in an alternate Malkin Universe where physics, integrity and rational thought are suspended.

    Some say any intelligence sucked in past the event horizon will emerge only after the universe of Stoopit runs down and entropy prevails. Others say this blackhole is actually a wormhole in the space/time continuum that may lead to the cyst on Limbaugh’s ass.

  31. 31
    4tehlulz says:

    I fear a critical mass of Teh Stoopit will reached, elements of bigotry, demagogy and blatant dumbfuckery will collapse and consolidate into a superdense blackhole of idiocy where not even a glimmer of intelligence can ever escape.

    So it will be another version of The Washington Times?

  32. 32
    Rick Taylor says:

    I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything in the fall may be getting to him, but he really never was as bad as he has been the past few months. Lately, though, he seems pretty hackworthy.

    I was a little sad when I noticed Ed’s blog had been demoted from blogs John reads to blogs we monitor and mock as needed. I still think he’s in a higher class than most of the blogs in that list like Red State (which admittedly isn’t saying much, but still. . .)

  33. 33
    Jake says:

    I fear a critical mass of Teh Stoopit will reached, elements of bigotry, demagogy and blatant dumbfuckery will collapse and consolidate into a superdense blackhole of idiocy where not even a glimmer of intelligence can ever escape.

    Worst of all, it may give rise to Contact, The Sequel.

  34. 34
    Billy K says:

    just some lotion and the right kind of magazine.

    National Review?

  35. 35
    rerun says:

    I don’t think they thought this through. Whenever they are on some tangent they link to as many other people that are saying the same thing and linking back. So now they have one less person to link to when they are fighting reality.

  36. 36
    myiq2xu says:

    National Review?

    What ever makes your little soldier stand at attention.

  37. 37
    The Other Steve says:

    Congratulations Ed!

    It’s nice that such a fine young man has a chance to work for a wonderful mentor such as Michelle Malkin.

  38. 38
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    The really sad news is that noted assclown Bryan Preston is leaving.

    I guess he made one too many creepy overtures to ol’ Stalkin’ Malkin. Is he going to inflict himself upon the world via some other site, or is he just plain going away?

    Cap’n Ed and Hot Air go together like ignorance and stupidity.

  39. 39
    Caidence (fmr. Chris) says:

    I fear a critical mass of Teh Stoopit will reached, elements of bigotry, demagogy and blatant dumbfuckery will collapse and consolidate into a superdense blackhole of idiocy where not even a glimmer of intelligence can ever escape.

    “Will be”?

    This implies that they’re reaching a value above absolute zero still, and I doubt that. They’re at the point where a Captain (or, maybe, then-lieutenant) is not granted due faith in his grievances if they’re laid on the alter of TEH SACRED 100-YEAR WAR. These people take politics over active warriors.

    How does this become a _denser_ mass of stupidity?

    Wait. Don’t answer that. I’ll be on xanax for the next 6 months if you do.

  40. 40
    torrentprime says:

    Hey John,
    Right there with you on the whole ex-conservative thing, and this site mirrors my frustration with the right nearly 100%, but I have to ask about the “fruity” thing. Did that mean something other than gay? Hoping so…

  41. 41
    THeDRiFTeR says:

    Yes, they lost the genius that was Brian Preston.

  42. 42

    Heh.

    But surely there are others on the sane right? How about Steven Taylor at PoliBlog?

    Generally, though, you’re right. Most of the sites I find readable these days are center-left or right-libertarian rather than pure conservative. Not sure what to make of that, really.

  43. 43
    Sirkowski says:

    The Captain is now a welfare queen.

  44. 44
    SpotWeld says:

    I’m laying the odds now.
    Within 8-12 months, (Either over an issues with the GOP canidate pre-election, or how to deal with reality post-election) Ed will be given the choice to follow “Hot Air” marching orders, or get packing.

    Having run sucessfully on his own up to this point, I suspect Ed will burn his bridges (in a very incindiary manner) and hit a big reset button on his own website starting over as if his stint on the big-blog never happened.

  45. 45
    Face says:

    Fruity?

    More homophobia from the left, to go with the latent racism.

    This site has more drive-by shootings than any site I’ve ever seen. I guess their blogging emulates their sex life.

  46. 46
    DougJ says:

    Great, John. What next — making them wear little yellow elephants when they’re out in public?

  47. 47
    Zuzu says:

    I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything in the fall may be getting to him, but he really never was as bad as he has been the past few months. Lately, though, he seems pretty hackworthy.

    It is a shame, too, because Ed was who I was using as my barometer for rational conservatives. Now all I have left are James Joyner and Daniel Larison.

    Sorry, this guy was and is one of the more unquestioning Slow Boater apologists out there. He hasn’t stopped since 2004.

  48. 48
    John Cole says:

    But surely there are others on the sane right? How about Steven Taylor at PoliBlog?

    He is another. I read him daily.

  49. 49
    28 Percent says:

    They also opened comment registration. I recommend all join in. I’ve been a HotAir commenter for about 6 months.

    Jackpot!

  50. 50
    Innocent Bystander says:

    I, for one, eagerly await the creative co-production of Capt. Ed and Ms. Malkin. Perhaps they’ll do a new Youtube cheerleading video or maybe a singing duet. The possibilities are endless.

  51. 51
    rawshark says:

    I was a hard-core republican before I started reading blogs.

  52. 52
    trollhattan says:

    Doesn’t this cluster of genii comprise what Chucky Johnson would call a “target-rich environment”?

    Jess axin’.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Redhand says:

    I am not sure what has happened to Ed, lately, perhaps the prospect of losing everything in the fall may be getting to him, but he really never was as bad as he has been the past few months. Lately, though, he seems pretty hackworthy.

    It’s kinda sad, actually. I used to think “Captain Ed” was one of the more rational conservative bloggers, but he definitely has “lost his sh*t” completely over the past few months. Becoming a Malkinite just makes Grandpa’s transition to full-fledged wingnut a bit more obvious, that’s all.

  55. 55
    smedly says:

    John Cole:

    What about Ross Douthat or Rick Moran?

    What about (except on Obama) Michael van der Galien?

  56. 56

    Don’t count your eggs yet:

    “Gallup polling on the general presidential election thus far has suggested the contest may be quite close, and the outcome could be similar to what occurred in the prior two presidential elections. This is in spite of the fact that everything else being equal, the Democratic candidate this year should be leading the Republican candidate.”

    It’s going to be a tight race…

  57. 57
    Darkness says:

    Is that why the wingnut blogs have been so exceptionally delusional lately? Was there some kind of tryout going on?

  58. 58
    Royston Vasey says:

    I like this post over at docweasel, about Capt Ed joing Michelle’s little gang.

    The comments in the thread annoucing the Captain’s joining HotAir are over whelmingly against the move and most are very critical of Malkin and all her HotAir thugs, and concerned that the Captain will now be considered to be in agreement with their race-baiting, bigoted shrill and dishonest demagoguery.

    (nice graphics, too)
    =)

  59. 59
    Zuzu says:

    So long as he doesn’t lose “Day By Day”. I don’t know what I’d do without my daily dose of “OMG! PREGGER BOOBIES!”

    Speaking of which:

    Huh?

    I don’t get it. Is an invisible Cap’n goosing her or something? What’s with the punchline?

    Disturbing. Per usual.

  60. 60
    jprice vincenz says:

    I guess I don’t understand this hire of Captain Ed. Malkin’s site is a place that combines the dichotomous tendencies (in normal people) of partisan outrage and masturbatory desire. Admittedly, the republican/conservative crowd might not care if Malkin’s stupid husband posts entries about Obama’s secret Islamic past, but they want to believe that pretty Malkin did it, not some clunky middle aged dude who mistakes typing for civic action. They want MILFy Malkin when they get angry to call them in from the ledge with the siren song of vaseline and a few quiet moments with the tissue box. It’s like rubbing one out to Atlas at her site and realizing the post was written by Frank Luntz and his hairpiece or that creepy not-sufficiently medicated Dan Rheil…

  61. 61
    Zuzu says:

    Okay, somebody over at Sadly No! explained the Captain Morgan thing. Still … disturbing.

  62. 62
    docweasel says:

    Heh, thanks for the plug Roysten.

    I find myself at odds these days with many “conservative” bloggers over immigration rights (“illegal aliens” is pretty much code for “dirty fucking Mexicans”) gay rights (no one has ever elucidated a coherent reason why its not in the public interest for gays to be recognized legally in a monogamous relationship called “marriage”) and other issues. I was especially repelled by the far rights embrace of Mitt Romney, who made a “conversion” 2 years ago to a hard core conservative for opportunistic reasons and represented some of the most reprehensible aspects of that that entails.

    So, I’m cast out of the good graces of many extreme right wing blogs. I considered Capt. Ed a moderate, but his moving into the sphere of the bitter demagogue Malkin is disturbing and seems out of character. Surely there is not a barrel of money in it. Its weird.

    Anyway, I disagree with about 80% of what Balloon Juice spews, but I read Kos, Atrios, MyDD, Ameriblog and others to avoid the ‘echo-chamber’ effect.

    Keep on bloviating, big Balloon!

  63. 63
    docweasel says:

    heh, thanks for the plug, Roysten.

    I find myself at odds with so-called “conservatives” on immigrant hating, gay bashing, interfering with women’s right NOT to have a baby she doesn’t want and other trivia.

    If they had nominated Romney I would have broke with the party completely, as it would have proven every racist, negative stereotype of the Republicans was actually true. Thankfully, even with his millions, he was unable to fool the electorate.

    I’m not a huge McCain fan, but I don’t think either a Clinton restoration nor an Obama learn as you go Admin would be beneficial to the country.

    So, by default, GO MAVERICK!

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