The Wingnuttiest Statement of the Week Year Decade

My friend Erick Erickson (and yes, I do still consider him a friend), at Ars Technica:

Erick Erickson, editor of the popular conservative megablog RedState, conceded that progressives currently enjoy an advantage over conservatives online—though he attributed it to an asymmetry in free time, since conservatives “have families because we don’t abort our kids, and we have jobs because we believe in capitalism.”

Enjoy that, because it is a thing of beauty.






102 replies
  1. 1
    Daniel Munz says:

    Someone somewhere (not me) pointed out that performing abortions is actually a paying profession, so technically, these two things should cancel each other out.

  2. 2
    Krista says:

    Beauty? You’ve got some seriously weird-ass taste, John.

    I just can’t believe he typed that with a straight face. C’mon, Erick…really? You don’t really believe that all progressives abort their kids and are jobless, right? I mean, you’re just being tongue-in-cheek, aren’t you? Right? Um….Erick?

  3. 3
    mitch says:

    Wow. So, in other words, he basically believes progressives just sit around at home, fucking their girlfriends and surfing the net, and only get out to take their girlfriends to the abortion clinic.

    Sounds pretty good to me.

  4. 4

    Oh shit. Guess this means I need to quit my job and kill my four kids.

    Sigh.

    You know, John, some times the best thing we can do for our friends is to slap the taste out of their mouths.

  5. 5
    Jake says:

    This has got to be the hardest spin anyone, anywhere, in the history of the universe has ever put on the fact that they just plain suck.

    “No really, we suck so bad ‘cos we’re so good!”

    My friend Erick Erickson (and yes, I do still consider him a friend), at Ars Technica:

    Or in Richy Reichtardsons’ case: Arse Technica.

  6. 6
    Elvis Elvisberg says:

    And why shouldn’t you still consider him a friend? There’s tons of people who are great in many facets of life, whose political views I find indefensible. I hope this stuff isn’t getting in the way of friendships.

    And yeah, this is pretty much the stupidest thing ever uttered in public by anyone ever.

    The reason that left-leaning sites have donated about a million times as much money to candidates than the right-wing blogosphere is… because we lefties (1) don’t have jobs, (2) abort our babies, (3) ?????? (4) DONATE!1!!1! Well, that’s certainly hard to argue with, in the sense that absurd statements are technically impossible to refute.

  7. 7
    Ripley says:

    Wow, that is stupid on so many levels.

    Is RedState actually a ‘megablog’? I thought they were kind of circling the drain, no?

  8. 8
    taodon says:

    I’m a pro-life liberal. Does that mean I ruin his argument?

  9. 9
    Ned R. says:

    Depends, taodon. Are you employed?

  10. 10
    tim serbo says:

    erick got an A in stupid class

  11. 11
    Ned R. says:

    As for my non-existent kids I never aborted because they didn’t exist, oh well!

  12. 12
    Darkness says:

    And better yet, being chained to a big old redwood leaves lots of time to use my sidekick to blog.

    Sheesh.

    I went back to school for a second degree so I can work for myself, that’s why my time is my own. Some weeks I work nonstop day and night, some afternoons I have off. I’ve left the breeding to my siblings.

    If they’d waited to have kids till they were out of middle school, they’d have better lives and their kids would too.

  13. 13
    chopper says:

    god, i am officially dumber for having read that. thanks, john.

  14. 14
    Zuzu says:

    Markos Moulitsas – job, wife, kids.

    TBogg – job,wife, kid or kids.

    Jesus’ General – job, wife, kid or kids.

    Josh Marshall – job, wife, unknown kid status.

    John Cole – job, big time.

  15. 15
    tim serbo says:

    what’s really weird about E.E.’s statement is that he works to express his belief in capitalism. don’t most people work because they enjoy eating and staying current on their housing payments?

  16. 16
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Shit, everybody knows that the Internet was invented by Al Gore and that he was a Democrat. Nosiree, no liberal-tainted Internet for right-thinking folk.

  17. 17
    UnkyT says:

    Jesus, he’s been on a role lately.

  18. 18
    Krista says:

    I’m a pro-life liberal. Does that mean I ruin his argument?

    You’re calling what he spouted an actual argument? You sir, are way too generous.

  19. 19
    Darkness says:

    If they’d waited to have kids till they were out of middle school, they’d have better lives and their kids would too.

    I meant the red staters, not my siblings. They all waited till they had master’s to have kids. Over-achievers the whole bloody lot. And they STILL ask us when we are having some. I refuse to drink the breeding kool-aid, thank you.

    Wait a minute. Erick is complaining that liberals aren’t replicating enough brainwashed spawn to take over the world? You’d think he’d be happy about that. I think he just wants to bitch and divert responsibility for his friends’ technical lameness. What a shock.

  20. 20
    Jake says:

    don’t most people work because they enjoy eating and staying current on their housing payments?

    [Scoff!] Typical hedonistic, self-serving, baby aborting lieberal! True Americans work because they want to build the economy of this great nation with shopping sprees mandated by the pResident.

    Although in E’rks case it is safe to say there’s an enjoyment of food element in there as well.

  21. 21
    Snark Based Reality says:

    “Enjoy that, because it is a thing of beauty.”

    Indeed. It is such a complex beauty that I fear most people won’t appreciate it until well after the artist’s death. Such is the world of art.

  22. 22
    tBone says:

    have families because we don’t abort our kids

    OK, good point. But look, if we shiftless lefties didn’t kill our spawn in utero, they’d just grow up to be welfare junkies and terrorist sympathizers like their parents. You should be thanking us.

    we have jobs because we believe in capitalism.

    And liberals don’t? That’s demonstrably untrue. Many of us are gainfully employed.

    What, you think that Che merchandise we sell to our presidential candidates just appears out of thin air, asshole?

  23. 23
    KG says:

    I’m not denying that Erick’s comment is stupid, because, wow, reading that killed more brain cells than all the THC and alcohol I consumed in college and law school, but…

    Apparently, Rush is making the argument that his slamming McCain is… actually… good for McCain’s campaign.

    Some days are good and some days are great.

  24. 24
    steve says:

    Those Bushies have a particularly ‘unique’ way of ‘thimking’. You can’t call it actually thinking because that would put it in the human realm and I wouldn’t go that far with this statement. It is typical Bushspeak though.
    Although it is incoherent to the human mind I am sure a Bushie understood it.

  25. 25
    Forrest Prince says:

    No, Erick Erickson, the reason I have a job is because I have to feed, clothe, and house myself and my family. It’s not because I believe in capitalism — actually I don’t — I believe in socialism. But I still believe in leading a productive life, and capitalism tends to work against me in that regard.

    And the reason I have a family is because the ultrasound of my son before he was born revealed no serious (or even mild) abnormalities. Otherwise, my wife and I had already agreed we would not bring a child into this world if we knew he/she would have serious birth defects or other health issues. My wife and I considered this the most responsible and sensible position to take: that we would not unduly burden this world with a child who would have been better off unborn.

  26. 26
    Jen says:

    That dude makes us sound like a bunch of loafers. Doesn’t he realize how much work there is imposing liberal fascism on America? Read your Pantload, man!

  27. 27
    Jon H says:

    “have families because we don’t abort our kids, and we have jobs because we believe in capitalism.”

    If Erick were smart he’d understand that, having no jobs, we need some way to obtain food. Thus, the abortions.

  28. 28
    grumpy realist says:

    John, can you please point out to your so-called “friend” that there’s this neat stuff called “Birth Control” which actually works pretty well…..

  29. 29
    Michael G says:

    If you’re liberal, and you make less money than a republican, you’re a shiftless lazy leech.

    On the other hand, if you make more than a republican, you’re a limosine liberal.

    Apparently, there’s a very, very narrow window of money you’re allowed to make.

  30. 30
    Pixie says:

    haha are the nominations for the Golden Wingnut Awards coming up anytime soon?

  31. 31
    Rudi says:

    If Erick were smart he’d understand that, having no jobs, we need some way to obtain food. Thus, the abortions.

    Sounds like a Librul cookbook for crockpotscrackpots. Foetus and fungi in a Crockpot…

  32. 32
    Garrigus Carraig says:

    If Erick were smart he’d understand that, having no jobs, we need some way to obtain food. Thus, the abortions.

    FTW!

  33. 33
    Danno says:

    Wait…I thought all the liberals were too busy being programmers who deny programming-goodness to sites like RedState? If liberals didn’t have all that time for pot-smoking and earning com-sci degrees/experience…conservatives would easily beat them out on the intertubes.

  34. 34
    Jack H. says:

    The ideal RedState conservative supports his kids by urging other peoples’ kids to get jobs killing the kids of undesirables.

  35. 35
    AkaDad says:

    I can’t be anti-capitalist, because I have a small business. I sell weed to abortionists.

  36. 36
    canuckistani says:

    Hell, my liberal kids are expensive to raise cause I have to buy more than one book for each of them to read.

  37. 37
    DougJ says:

    That is truly good stuff.

    Where do these people come from?

  38. 38
    Voice of Reason says:

    Wait, I can do that one, too.

    “I have time to surf the net because I have a well-paying job that actually provides health care — and they don’t have time because they’re busy planning Klan rallies and fascist genocidal colonial projects.”

    As long as we’re all (apparently) just engaging in stereotyping, throw a couple their way, too.

    John, with friends like those you need more quality enemies.

  39. 39
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    If Erick were smart he’d understand that, having no jobs, we need some way to obtain food. Thus, the abortions.

    We avoid the abortion issue and solve the food problem by regularly cooking and eating our children.

  40. 40
    D-Chance. says:

    KG Says:
    Apparently, Rush is making the argument that his slamming McCain is… actually… good for McCain’s campaign.

    Limbaugh is setting up the “no lose” situation for himself: if McCain should win, it’s because Limbaugh forced him to answer to conservatives and move radically towards the base; if McCain should lose, well, Rush warned the base from Day 1 what a worthless liberal turncoat that McCain really was…

  41. 41
    Jen says:

    Is Erick actually an insurgent?!?

  42. 42
    Jon H says:

    “We avoid the abortion issue and solve the food problem by regularly cooking and eating our children.”

    What an appalling thing to say.

    After the fontenelle closes, they’re far too tough and stringy.

  43. 43

    We avoid the abortion issue and solve the food problem by regularly cooking and eating our children.

    Somehow, I’m hoping that Erick will realize that his statement wasn’t too swift.

    (By the way: Josh Marshall has one child, Sam, upon whom he seems to dote…given the number of times Sam photos have shown up on the front page of TPM.)

  44. 44
    SpotWeld says:

    ..um, as the head dude over at RedState, doesn’t he spend an inordinate amount of time online.

    I’m not suggesting anything, but if he’s saying in a position to know.

  45. 45
    DougJ says:

    I hate to respond in kind but do you know any Republicans who aren’t lazy dumb fucks you would never hire to do anything?

    This is not a rhetorical question. I personally know of one out of the maybe 20 Republicans I know. And he says he voted for Clinton once.

  46. 46

    “And we don’t need a social life because we have mastered the art of auto-fellatio”

  47. 47
    kate r says:

    I have to send my 3 kids out begging on the streets so I can afford my librul lattes–otherwise, sure, I’d abort them. At this point, it’s sort of too late … unless kicking them out when they go off to college count as aborting them?

  48. 48
    Carlo says:

    Are we sure he wasn’t kidding when he said that? I’m dearly hoping that was spoken tongue-in-cheek.

  49. 49
    kate r says:

    PS I have a republican friend, too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, usually.

  50. 50
    MNPundit says:

    Zuzu Says:
    Josh Marshall – job, wife, unknown kid status.

    Have you seen his kid? Sam looks so much like his dad that it’s scary.

  51. 51
    RSA says:

    we have jobs

    From the CEO and managing editor of RedState. I think conservatives of a past era might have said to Erick, “Get a real job!”

  52. 52
    DougJ says:

    PS I have a republican friend, too.

    Some of my best friends are Republican. They’re not all like you see on tv. Some are clean and well-spoken.

  53. 53
    Jon H says:

    “Sam looks so much like his dad that it’s scary.”

    Especially the 5-o’clock shadow.

  54. 54
    TenguPhule says:

    and we have jobs because we believe in capitalism.

    But because prostitution didn’t pay enough, they became Wingut Welfare queens.

  55. 55
    Zifnab says:

    I hate to respond in kind but do you know any Republicans who aren’t lazy dumb fucks you would never hire to do anything?

    This is not a rhetorical question. I personally know of one out of the maybe 20 Republicans I know. And he says he voted for Clinton once.

    There was an employee at my office who listened to Limbaugh regularly and was an ardent drinker of the Jesus Juice. When we didn’t talk about politics (something that took an epic amount of self-control for me to avoid), he was rational, intelligent, well-mannered, and professional.

    But this guy insisted that abstract art was a ploy by the Communists to brainwash our children into atheism.

    The man could work magic with Windows Server ’03. I’d still never let him near my kids – if I had any I didn’t abortificate with condoms, morning after pills, or mentioning politics during intercourse – if he was wielding a bible.

  56. 56
    DougJ says:

    But this guy insisted that abstract art was a ploy by the Communists to brainwash our children into atheism.

    You’ve got to admit that kids really do love abstract art. Maybe he’s really on to something.

    Every now and then I meet a Republican who doesn’t seem like an idiot, but it usually turns out there’s some catch, like they’re not really Republicans, they just like to argue.

  57. 57
    Gemina13 says:

    I not only have a job, I got a fat raise last year. I can’t have kids. And I work in the financial industry, albeit not for any of the firms currently circling the drain. So I get a daily dose of “oh, shit, the economy’s fucked,” along with, “oh, great, those assholes just sent a bunch of their former clients to us due to their bullshit!”

    Another “great” argument, shot to hell by reality. Who’da thunk?

  58. 58
    ThymeZone says:

    Where do these people come from?

    The Road to Dumbasscus.

  59. 59
    Andrew says:

    I’m just impressed at the efforts John goes through to befriend the profoundly retarded. It’s no easy task and takes some dedication, given that they can barely speak in coherent sentences.

  60. 60
    Perry Como says:

    What, you think that Che merchandise we sell to our presidential candidates just appears out of thin air, asshole?

    There has to be at least one or two liberals that set up the teleprompter at the B. Hussein Osama rallies.

  61. 61
    Birdzilla says:

    You can tell a liberal becuase they have a bumper sticker reading KEEP ABORTION LEGAL right alongside the sumper stickers reading SAVE THE REDWOODS,SAVE THE RAINFORESTS

  62. 62
    Andrew says:

    I’m guess this means I’m off to recreationally abort some Redwood saplings.

  63. 63
    Perry Como says:

    I’m guess this means I’m off to recreationally abort some Redwood saplings.

    I’ll join you and abort some rainforest saplings.

  64. 64
    Zuzu says:

    (By the way: Josh Marshall has one child, Sam, upon whom he seems to dote…given the number of times Sam photos have shown up on the front page of TPM.)

    Ah, thanks.

    I see I also forgot to include Markos’ last name (Zuniga).

  65. 65
    Ninerdave says:

    You can tell a liberal becuase they have a bumper sticker reading KEEP ABORTION LEGAL right alongside the sumper stickers reading SAVE THE REDWOODS,SAVE THE RAINFORESTS

    People want to save forests? Heresy!! Someone must be aborted NOW!

  66. 66
    Beej says:

    You can tell a Repug because they have a bumper sticker reading PRO-LIFE right next to the one reading BOMB IRAN.

  67. 67
    tBone says:

    I’ll join you and abort some rainforest saplings.

    I’m going to abort some spotted owls by making them into a delicious omelet.

  68. 68
    TheFountainHead says:

    /facedesk
    /facedesk
    /facedesk

  69. 69
    Perry Como says:

    /facedesk

    You’re doing it wrong

  70. 70
    cbear says:

    We avoid the abortion issue and solve the food problem by regularly cooking and eating our children.

    Jon H. sez:

    they’re far too tough and stringy

    Jon,
    You’re obviously either not marinating them long enough, or overcooking.

    I like to use a 50/50 mixture of Worchestershire and Teriyaki with 2 tbsp of lemon or lime juice. Refrigerate for at least 6-8 hours—season liberally with your favorite spices, then throw ’em on the grill.
    A good rule of thumb is 3 minutes per lb. of bodyweight although you should adjust the cooking time downward for kids over the age of 5.

    Mine come out great…kind of tastes like free-range chicken.
    Bon Appetit.

  71. 71
    Darkness says:

    Suckling long-pig? I just happen to be hanging out in Polynesia, I’m sure SOMEONE must remember a recipe… but I bet it involves an earthen oven. (Which sounds very…green somehow, even though it mostly involves lava rocks)

  72. 72
    TenguPhule says:

    I’m sure SOMEONE must remember a recipe… but I bet it involves an earthen oven. (Which sounds very…green somehow, even though it mostly involves lava rocks)

    You can do wonderful things with crockpots and liquid smoke these days….

    Does John wanna luau?

  73. 73
    Digital Amish says:

    he attributed it to an asymmetry in free time, since conservatives “have families because we don’t abort our kids, and we have jobs because we believe in capitalism.

    Blame on Clinton Erick. If he’d left welfare alone we’d still be pumpin’ out instead of aborting ’em. Shit, it’s hard out here for a pimp.

  74. 74
    cbear says:

    Shit, it’s hard out here for a pimp

    Is that you, Huggy Bear?

  75. 75
    josephdietrich says:

    I notice that he forgot to mention that liberals also don’t spend enough time in church. For shame!

  76. 76
    merlallen says:

    Then why the hell do they keep asking banned commenters to give them money?

  77. 77
    Xenos says:

    Limbaugh is setting up the “no lose” situation for himself: if McCain should win, it’s because Limbaugh forced him to answer to conservatives and move radically towards the base; if McCain should lose, well, Rush warned the base from Day 1 what a worthless liberal turncoat that McCain really was…

    Sadly, that sort of middle-school circular logic fools the base every damn time. Wait for the next batch of Captain Ed commenters to push that line in eight months or so.

  78. 78
    PaulW says:

    mitch Says:

    Wow. So, in other words, he basically believes progressives just sit around at home, fucking their girlfriends and surfing the net, and only get out to take their girlfriends to the abortion clinic.

    Sounds pretty good to me.

    Hold on, wait. There’s *girlfriends* involved? Dammit, I’m missing out over here. Maybe ’cause I’m more moderate than progressive… damn it. And what about teh gay progressives, whom do they get to abort?

  79. 79
    PaulW says:

    Xenos Says:

    Limbaugh is setting up the “no lose” situation for himself: if McCain should win, it’s because Limbaugh forced him to answer to conservatives and move radically towards the base; if McCain should lose, well, Rush warned the base from Day 1 what a worthless liberal turncoat that McCain really was…

    Sadly, that sort of middle-school circular logic fools the base every damn time. Wait for the next batch of Captain Ed commenters to push that line in eight months or so.

    There’s only one solution to that: McCain should win, but then use his Presidency to arrest Limbaugh for being an -sshole.

  80. 80
    Seanly says:

    Isn’t this the grade school equivalent of an article by Brooks or some other douchenozzle? Something like a taxi driver told him about how red states populations are soaring while blue states are declining. And red states lead in unemployment because all these people are flocking to them to find good, honest American work at $5.25 an hour.

  81. 81
    Lee says:

    A question for John Cole (if he is still reading).

    Does Erick Erickson really believe that? Or is he just grenade throwing ala Ann Coulter?

  82. 82
    4tehlulz says:

    The Road to Dumbasscus.

    You better trademark that shit or else Carlos Mencia someone will steal it.

  83. 83
    Keith says:

    because we don’t abort our kids

    Naaa, they just molest them. (one sleazy stereotype deserves another)

  84. 84
    John Cole says:

    Does Erick Erickson really believe that? Or is he just grenade throwing ala Ann Coulter?

    Grenade throwing.

  85. 85
    Cyrus says:

    Well, maybe he’s setting up a “no lose” situation for himself, but I think what Limbaugh said about McCain could be correct.

    “If I really wanted to torpedo McCain, I would endorse him,” Limbaugh said on his radio show. “Because that would send the independents and liberals who are going to vote for him running away faster than anything.”

    “What people don’t realize is that I am doing McCain the biggest favor that can be done for him by staying out of this,” he continued. “If I endorsed him thoroughly and with passion, that would end the independents and moderates, because they so despise me and they so hate me.”

    At least, I assume independents and moderates hate Limbaugh, but maybe I shouldn’t.

  86. 86
    Neal says:

    Dumbasscus

    Brilliant!

  87. 87
    IanY77 says:

    You know, I could go into a long winded diatribe and explain why that statement is so wrong.

    Or I could just say “Fuck you, asshole”, and be done with it.

    Anyhow, I have to go grab my welfare check so I can have my abortion. Damn capitalism, making you pay for your abortions.

  88. 88
    Egilsson says:

    People like Erickson are semi-serious (or maybe totally) serious with comments like this, and it pisses me off to no end.

    I’m a family guy. My daughter was 3 when she was diagnosed with lung cancer. For 4 years of brutal treatment, through surgeries, chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant, I would stay all night at the hospital with her, and then drag myself to work during the day. He can’t begin to appreciate the journey my family took, and how hard and exhausting that was. But I had to sustain my family and keep insurance, and keep functioning. My child is everything to me.

    And yet I constantly see bullshit like this coming out of these bastards and it bothers me to no end.

    I would love to kick his ass actually. I think it might be therapeutic for me.

  89. 89
    jenniebee says:

    Wow. So, in other words, he basically believes progressives just sit around at home, fucking their girlfriends and surfing the net, and only get out to take their girlfriends to the abortion clinic.

    Yes, and that’s just the women.

  90. 90
    jrg says:

    Wow. What a moron. Like this argument is going to fly on Ars Technica, of all places.

    Keep it up, Erickson, you’re doing a great job!

  91. 91
    Faux News says:

    John please tell your friend Erik that he is delusional and needs pyschotherapy to burst all the denial and delusions that plague him and his republican party.

  92. 92

    […] John Cole and his ever-retiring community of commenters is having a lot of fun with the latest from Erick over at Red State. […]

  93. 93

    Is RedState actually a ‘megablog’? I thought they were kind of circling the drain, no?

    Megaclog…

  94. 94
    The Other Steve says:

    I think people like Eric Erickson are great for the Democratic party. Keep up the good work, you spoofer you!

  95. 95
    Jo says:

    After reading this whole page, it is clear to me this is a thinly covered attack on Democrats and those joking back and forth are adding to it.

    Real Democrats shouldn’t respond to these type of statements unless it is to make them know they are not as sly as they think they are.

    You republicans set on your arses, lie young men into wars that benefit the corporations.

    Since you keep putting the war mongers in office by voting for them, you are responsible for 4000 American deaths and hundreds of thousands of Iraqi deaths.

    You are also responsible for babies and children being bombed when it isn’t necessary.

    Not to mention the maimed and mentally injured soldiers that will live with their injuries the rest of their lives.

    We know soldiers and Iraqi babies are alive. Do you?

  96. 96
    jcricket says:

    Grenade throwing.

    Well then, someone might want to tell him that you don’t throw the pin and hold the grenade.

    This is Madness! This. Is. RedState!

  97. 97
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    I hate to respond in kind but do you know any Republicans who aren’t lazy dumb fucks you would never hire to do anything?

    I do, sure. But none of them participate in any political blogs, and in fact, most of them are pretty embarrassed by folks like Erick.

  98. 98
    John says:

    “Grenade throwing.”

    Sorry, then he’s an asshole. If he really believed it I could feel sorry for him, you know, being so misguided and all. and even respect him for staying true to his beliefs even if I disagree vehemently. But he’s just throwing out nonsense that he knows is nonsense to “get the Libs.”

  99. 99
    MNPundit says:

    Jon H Says:

    “Sam looks so much like his dad that it’s scary.”

    Especially the 5-o’clock shadow.

    You would think a baby could be clean shaven, but when it comes to Josh Marshall’s child…

    …you’d be wrong.

  100. 100
    Jon H says:

    “Is RedState actually a ‘megablog’? I thought they were kind of circling the drain, no?”

    I think it’s more of a megacolon.

  101. 101
    Grumpy Code Monkey says:

    Does Erick Erickson really believe that? Or is he just grenade throwing ala Ann Coulter?

    Grenade throwing.

    So, instead of being insane, he’s just a dick. Whew, that makes me feel loads better.

  102. 102

    If I really wanted to torpedo McCain, I would endorse him,” Limbaugh said on his radio show. “Because that would send the independents and liberals who are going to vote for him running away faster than anything.

    I’ve kind of suspected this for some time. Sort of like the joke about the John Birch Society offering a candidate their endorsement or a ringing condemnation, whichever he preferred.

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