So Much for Harriet Meiers Mitt Romney for President

Despite Hugh’s best efforts, Michael is right– Mitt Romney is done. As such, I think this calls for a sketch:

Cya, Mittens. We don’t need another empty suit pushed by the big money guys screwing things up for another four years- we have a lot of work cleaning up the mess from Bush, the guy whose boots were licked profusely by Hewitt and company for the past 8 years.

The best thing about this guy going down in flames is that the right-wing talk show hosts will not be able to control themselves for the next nine months. They will bash McCain no matter what he does, and then they will talk down their audience for not seeing the wisdom in choosing Romney. It will be glorious. And don’t forget to listen to the Rush meltdown at noon today.

30 replies
  1. 1
    horatius says:

    Sweet sweet meltdown.
    Love your oxycontin-laced tears.
    Now, the anal cyst on the media landscape will finally blow a fuse.

  2. 2
    jack fate says:

    For the first time ever, I regret not being able to get AM radio reception at my cage cubicle.

  3. 3
    myiq2xu says:

    And don’t forget to listen to the Rush meltdown at noon today.

    Fuck that! I’ll read about it, but I ain’t listening to Disgusting Pigboy for all the tea in China.

  4. 4
    Jen says:

    Did anyone see his speech, I can’t find it on youtube.

    Barack Obama: “Yes we can!”
    Mitt Romney: “HAVEN’T!”

    That was their chant. It kind of sounds like the whole crowd is sneezing, but, no, it’s “haven’t”, as in, “you haven’t defeated an Arkansas preacher or an apostate for the hearts and minds of Republican voters.”

    I’m repeating all my posts now, but I stole this from Gene Weingarten who stole it from Dave Barry: he can’t electrify a crowd. He couldn’t electrify a fish tank if you threw a toaster in with him.

  5. 5
    Kurzbein says:

    Rush might not like McCain, but does anyone really think that Rush is going to torpedo a GOP presidential candidate, especially if that candidate is running against Hillary? Rush may bitch now, but when the gc comes he’ll be behind whomever the GOP puts forward.

  6. 6
    cleek says:

    i give them 6 weeks until they’ve all come around to full-throated praise of St John. they’ll be reluctant at first, but eventually they’ll be completely on-board. once they realize it’s McCain or a Dem, they’ll find ways to love him: he’ll be a “new kind of Republican” one that will revitalize the party by bringing in new blood; he’ll be a strong military leader in a time of war; blahblahblah.

  7. 7
    ThymeZone says:

    ain’t listening to Disgusting Pigboy for all the tea in China.

    Something we can agree on. The sound of his voice makes me a little homicidal.

  8. 8
    Jen says:

    Myiq, he has more pull in the California than I thought.

  9. 9
    Hubris says:

    I suspect that this morning, Hewitt is rocking gently while holding a crudely fashioned Romney doll to his breasts, listening to “Killing Me Softly” on repeat play.

  10. 10

    Mitt Romney is the new Fred Thompson; it only takes the anointment of the right-wing media to sink a Republican candidate these days, apparently.

    Who are they going to sink next? My money is on Huckabee.

  11. 11
    jack fate says:

    i give them 6 weeks until they’ve all come around to full-throated praise of St John. they’ll be reluctant at first, but eventually they’ll be completely on-board. once they realize it’s McCain or a Dem, they’ll find ways to love him: he’ll be a “new kind of Republican” one that will revitalize the party by bringing in new blood; he’ll be a strong military leader in a time of war; blahblahblah.

    I’ve wondered if that will happen. If it does one of two things (or both) has to happen. 1.) the Republicans that have woken up from the last 8 years need to end the likes of Hugh Hewitt and Rush-Bo. It does them no favors to have racist, homophobic, ignorant, power-worshipping authoritarians as their spokesmen. or 2.) should No. 1 not happen the general public (Democrats included), need to, once and for all, reject these idiots. If neither of those happen: I hope the Republican’s get the chance to enjoy being a marginalized party for some time.

  12. 12

    I figure I have a choice: I can either listen to Rush or perform Self-Trepanning.

    Now where did I put that 3/8″ chisel bit…

  13. 13
    caustics says:

    Did anyone see his speech, I can’t find it on youtube.

    Here. He’s going the the distance. What a tool.

  14. 14
    caustics says:

    the

  15. 15
    louisms says:

    The Repubs will shortly close ranks behind McCain, whether they like him or not. Job 1, after all, is to defeat the Democrats. Unappealing as a (slightly) more moderate conservative like McCain might be to them, they’ll certainly see him as better than Obama or, particularly, Clinton.

  16. 16

    The best thing about this guy going down in flames is that the right-wing talk show hosts will not be able to control themselves for the next nine months.

    I’ll just paste the same email I sent out to my buddies.
    I listen to RW radio during my mornign and evening drive, just to hear what the carzies are up to.
    My synopsis of Glenn Beck, 2/6/08:

    Oh man.
    I spent the AM listening to the Glenn Beck show, post-Super Tuesday.

    If you didn’t listen to right-wing radio this AM, you missed some
    great schadenfreude. Put it this way: it started with Beck saying
    that conservatives have three choices now: “to park the car in the
    garage with the engine running; to try to understand just HOW this
    happened; or to rally round McCain like a bunch of good little
    puppets– AND I’M NOT GONNA DO THAT!!!”

    then there was a diatribe about how Beck had been “so wrong” about
    George W. Bush being a conservative, listing W’s crimes against the
    party in a voice that grew louder and louder with every bullet point,
    until he was practically shrieking.

    After a brief rant about midgets (apparently, by beck’s own account,
    he melted down on CNN last night), Beck went on an uninterrupted 15
    minute rant about “what I believe as a conservative”. When I pulled
    into the parking lot at work 20 minutes ago, he was still going and
    for all I know he’s STILL losing his marbles. The best part was that
    nothing he said made sense. It was like listening to one of those
    crazy derelict people that walk through Philadelphia having intense
    angry conversations with someone who only exists in their imagination.
    He was like the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons, or my kid having a
    temper tantrum..

    I am SO excited to listen to Hannity this evening on the way home. It
    is going to be even better.

    And by the way, this neglects to mention that just before the “I believe” rant was a rant on “legal darwinism” and something about activist judges updating the constitution and feeding mcdonalds to obese people. I sewar I ma not making this up, and if it weren’t for the fact that Beck’s show wants to charge people to download his show (like someone’s gonna pay $6.95/month to listen to that crap?) I would have posted it verbatim.

    Also funny: red state’s banner ad when I checked this morning.

  17. 17
    D-Chance. says:

    Today, there will be the temper-tantrum for the first half the show followed by a “wait and see”, pending McCain’s appearance before CPAC. If McCain kisses their collective asses hard enough, then all will be forgiven. If not, it will be no-holds-barred until the conventions. After the conventions, if the Dems have overcome their own racism and convinced white women and Latinos that Obama is a good candidate, or if they succumb to it and send Hillary out there instead, it will be one long hate-fest until November. You may not hear one minute of support for McCain; but it will be Anybody But a Democrat all over the airwaves.

  18. 18
    Rudi says:

    They will bash McCain no matter what he does, and then they will talk down their audience for not seeing the wisdom in choosing Romney.

    I give the Ditto crowd half a Friedman unit before they say “never mind” and start a lovefest for McClown and portray the Demoncrats as evil,fascist,baby eaters and taritorist defeatocrats.

  19. 19
    Punchy says:

    Who are they going to sink next? My money is on Huckabee.

    Cant sink something already underwater.

    I agree that their hatred will disappear as soon as they realize the choice is between McCane (he’s old, right?) and That Negro.

  20. 20
    srv says:

    We don’t need another empty suit pushed by the big money guys

    A lie is a lie, no matter how many times you and ppGaz repeat it.

    Fluffy Mittens

    Magical Unity Pony.

  21. 21
    Bubblegum Tate says:

    i give them 6 weeks until they’ve all come around to full-throated praise of St John. they’ll be reluctant at first, but eventually they’ll be completely on-board. once they realize it’s McCain or a Dem, they’ll find ways to love him: he’ll be a “new kind of Republican” one that will revitalize the party by bringing in new blood; he’ll be a strong military leader in a time of war; blahblahblah.

    Yup. They bitch now, but they’ll come around. The only chance the GOP has for winning the presidency is for Hillary to get the Dem nomination because even the most loudmouthed “John McLame is a secret liberal who hates conservatives!” wingnut will very quickly be so incredibly energized to vote for McCain. It’s not that I believe in the Magical Unity Pony, it’s that I’m aware of the very real I Hate Hillary Horse.

  22. 22
    canuckistani says:

    I’m looking forward to seeing Rush, Sean, Michelle and their ilk fleeing to Bolivia clutching suitcases full of dollar bills, meds and silverware. Better than living under liberal fascism, right?

  23. 23
    Punchy says:

    After a brief rant about midgets (apparently, by beck’s own account, he melted down on CNN last night), Beck went on an uninterrupted 15 minute rant about “what I believe as a conservative”.

    Soda —-> Computer monitor —-> Boss trying to see what just happened…

  24. 24
    Punchy says:

    Blessing McCane already? Wow, that didn’t take long.

    You cant permalink blog entries at townhall.com? What the hell?

  25. 25
    Punchy says:

    From that link’s comment section:

    Its Not Over Yet!
    One factor that no one has talked about is McCain’s health. Because of his age, stress, long hours, etc. he is a candidate for a heart attack or stroke. If either of these two unforeseen events should occur, it would wipe him off the map in a minute.

    When the Republican’s consider McCain,they also must examine who he might select as Vice President. The reason—the Vice President is just a heart beat away from becoming President. In McCain’s situation, this indeed could be a reality.

    If I were asking tough questions, I would want to know what McCain’s EKG looked like, the results of his stress test, and whether his coronary arteries were clear! He should submit himself to some simple tests to reassure the public that he would not become a “dead duck” before the election.

    The Onion just cant compete with these clowns.

  26. 26
    Tsulagi says:

    They will bash McCain no matter what he does

    You might be right, but like some of the others here I don’t think that will last. Shouldn’t be too long before you see something like this on Powerline or RedState…

    It must be very strange to be President Bush John McCain. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can’t get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

    They see the big picture.

  27. 27
    Jake says:

    Cry Haven’t, let slip the trogs of war!

  28. 28

    I’m not sure why they don’t understand that an candidate who doesn’t even rally the base enough to win the nomination cannot possibly rally the base enough to win the election. I really could almost want to see McCain win just so he can give these people the finger.

  29. 29
    PaulW says:

    I listened to parts of the Rush show driving back to work from my dental appointment (and the bad part was, no novacaine to kill the pain of listening). Oh man. Rush was ranting about how McCain’s appeal to moderates and independents was meaningless because there weren’t that many moderates and independents out there. That McCain has to make himself more appealing to conservatives (like Rush!) if there was any hope of victory for the GOP.
    (head thump noises)
    I’d have loved to have pulled up the Gallup Poll population numbers that showed a long history of voters (since 1900 AD) divided into three groups – Conservatives, Libruls, and SANE PEOPLE – and that the divisions were usually even (roughly 32-36 percent for the three groups). And that ANY President winning an election had to get more of the middle SANE PEOPLE group in order to win (Reagan did, Clinton did, Gore did in 2000 and Bush did in 2004). I’d have loved to show Rush the current polling trends that show McCain WINNING over both Obama and Clinton with a combination of solid Republicans and moderate Independents/Dems. But I don’t think he WANTS to see. He’s blinded by the belief that only TRUE-HARDCORE Far Right are out there and that you only need those votes to win. It’s Rove’s Math (the 50 Percent Plus One), only dumber. Two Plus Two doesn’t even equal Four according to Rush: It equals stupid. Which tells you how dumb he’s gotten.

  30. 30
    Michael D. says:

    Despite Hugh’s best efforts, Michael is right

    No matter what else happens, I’ll just be glad to have seen that at least once on this blog. ;-)

Comments are closed.