Florida Primary Open Thread

Who will it be? McCain or Mittens?

44 replies
  1. 1
    myiq2xu says:

    What happened to Gomer pHuckabee?

  2. 2
    cleek says:

    Paul! Revulsion!

  3. 3
    Jen says:

    I thought Giuliani was always going to win Florida! That enough old Jews retired there from Manhattan to form a voting block! That didn’t pan out, somehow? Who saw that coming?

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Dennis - SGMM says:

    Just read polling data that has Old Guy and Mittens in a statistical dead heat followed distantly by Il Douche, Gomer and Crazy Person.

    Those Florida voters are facing a real dilemma: any one of their candidates would make a bad president.

    That said, I’m guessing that Mittens will pull of a narrow victory, McCain will demand a recount, Giuliani will drop out and start lobbying for Secretary of Fear (To be created by the Republican President), Huckabee will stay in but secretly lobby for the Secretary of Religion post and Paul’s supporters will raise four million dollars in twenty-four hours to keep their boy in the race.

  6. 6

    Jonah Goldberg got punked

    Please. We should be more high minded and serious about our political discourse. Jonah got … PWNED!

  7. 7
    Punchy says:

    McCant wins this by 3%. Book it.

  8. 8

    But Hewitt found some pollster yesterday who is never ever wrong and he had Mittens by 8 points!

  9. 9
    gypsy howell says:

    Paul! Revulsion!

    Speaking of which, can anyone explain the cryptic Ron Paul bumpersticker that embeds LOVE written backwards in REVOLUTION?

    What is the message there? The opposite of LOVE is Ron Paul-style libertarianism?

  10. 10
    Zifnab says:

    I’m putting my money on Clinton.

  11. 11
    Jen says:

    Speaking of which, can anyone explain the cryptic Ron Paul bumpersticker that embeds LOVE written backwards in REVOLUTION?

    It just looked good on the blimp that way.

    Still a girl!

    – Jen

  12. 12
    4tehlulz says:

    McCain by 4 points is my call, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Giuliani might actually beat Ron Paul this time — the media will then spin it as Rudy! getting over an important hurdle.

  13. 13
    Tony J says:

    Uh, saying that the word ‘Evolution’, even when it’s part of another word, is the opposite of Love?

  14. 14
    gypsy howell says:

    It just looked good on the blimp that way.

    It’s so obviously intentional (letters facing backwards, LOVE in red) that I figure it *must* be some kind of Paultard dog whistle message – I just can’t figure out what it is.

  15. 15
    gypsy howell says:

    Uh, saying that the word ‘Evolution’, even when it’s part of another word, is the opposite of Love?

    then why are the letters E and L written backwards, and only the E-V-O-L are a different color?

    C’mon, it MUST mean something!

  16. 16
    TheFountainHead says:

    I’m putting my money on Clinton.

    Ewwww, you pay for that??

  17. 17
    PaulW says:

    I predict a stunning upset as 90 percent of Florida Republicans get disgusted by their choices and decide to back… ME! A humble hometown boy does some good! ;)

  18. 18
    Scotty says:

    Mittens by 1%.

  19. 19
    Tony J says:

    then why are the letters E and L written backwards, and only the E-V-O-L are a different color?

    C’mon, it MUST mean something!

    Uh, ah, because that’s how you spell “I’m in position, proceed with the invasion as planned” in some alien colour-based dialect that only Paul is aware of?

  20. 20
    TheFountainHead says:

    In all seriousness though, If I’m the MSM (I had that bad dream once) I’m going to get up there tonight and bluster as much as possible about the Democratic primary in Florida, if for no other reason than it makes for better selling news. It will be interesting to see how they spin that. Did Hillary win by a big enough margin? Did the Unity Pony break a leg? Did the Unity Pony actually WIN even though he lost? Will Hillary cold-cock Howard Dean in the face for not letting the voters of Florida be HEARD?? All this and more on our insipid coverage at 8!

  21. 21
    Zifnab says:

    I’m putting my money on Clinton.

    Ewwww, you pay for that??

    All the girls got to drool after Bill. It’s my turn to wear a blue dress, damnit!

  22. 22
    Tony J says:

    Or it could be that E-V-O-L, written with the E and L reversed, shows you how to position your hands to say “Vote for me, I will heal your ears” in sign-language?

    Who knows MAKATON?

  23. 23
    Ninerdave says:

    Letterman on Mittens:

    He looks like an American President in a Canadian Movie.

  24. 24
    TheFountainHead says:

    New Hampshire must kinda feel like Charlie Brown on his back, huh?

    “Oh, good grief!”

  25. 25
    cleek says:

    then why are the letters E and L written backwards, and only the E-V-O-L are a different color?

    i thought it was common knowledge that Paul is a die-hard Sonic Youth fan.

    he might look like an old fart doctor now, but back in the day he was all about 80’s noise-rock. i think there’s footage of him body surfing at a F’Lips/Butthole Surfers’ show.

  26. 26
    Punchy says:

    Who gets Paulie’s blimp when he screws the pooch Tuesday, back outtie the primary Wednesday, and declares Chap 13 Thursday? Can you Ebay a blimp? Is there a site that pimps all failed polly gear, like “DOLE ’96!” t-shirts or “Freddie Boom-Boom (going to) Washington ’08!” bumper stickers?

  27. 27
    Jen says:

    The blimp was a rental, covered in banners. Kind of like those magnetic signs you put on cars. I don’t think Chapter 13 is forthcoming, though, I think even after the blimp and the limo he’s in the black.

  28. 28
    Jake says:

    Libertarians
    Overthrow
    Various
    Establishments

    Either that or he likes fucking with lyDexics.

  29. 29
    ThymeZone says:

    We used to have a saying about two really lame people:

    “Now, there’s a pair to draw to.” It was an expression of contempt for the pair, whoever they were.

    Mittney versus McPain?

    There’s a pair to draw to. Two complete phonies and insane persons. Together, you couldn’t make one good president out of them.

    Coulnd’t care less who wins. I just want whoever wins to get a full ass whipping in November.

  30. 30
    Sensitive Pony Tailed Girly Man says:

    Rudy won big in South Carolina and I think the momentum will continue here. 4th place, behind Huck, it doesn’t get bigger than that. He started out in the hole, with those big numbers in the 30’s, but he’s been working OT making sure FL gets to know him. I think it’ll pay off.

  31. 31
    cleek says:

    i’m sticking with Paul.

    after all, he’s the only one who can beat Clinton

  32. 32
    PaulW says:

    Punchy Says:

    Who gets Paulie’s blimp when he screws the pooch Tuesday, back outtie the primary Wednesday, and declares Chap 13 Thursday? Can you Ebay a blimp?

    I’ll take it. I need something to advertise my book with.

  33. 33
    Darkness says:

    Punchy Says:

    … Is there a site that pimps all failed polly gear, like “DOLE ‘96!” t-shirts or “Freddie Boom-Boom (going to) Washington ‘08!” bumper stickers?

    Well, the t-shirts, anyway, get sent to Central America as charity donations. Whilst visiting Guatemala a few years ago I learned, for example, that the Giants won Superbowl 35. Given the dirth of cars, I don’t think they bother sending the bumper stickers.

  34. 34
    Psycheout says:

    My predictions are here.

    Can Satanists swing it to Romney? That’s the wildcard. I think McCain barely wins since he doesn’t worship false idols. If Romney wins, G-d has abandoned America.

  35. 35
    The Other Steve says:

    I think Mittens is going to win with a suprise upset, as Rudy voters abandon ship.

  36. 36
    Buck says:

    I think McCain barely wins since he doesn’t worship false idols.

    Yes he does.

  37. 37
    Kevin K. says:

    Mittens
    St. Maverick
    Huck’n’suck
    9/11
    The Annoying Thing That Makes Honking Noises
    Taylor Marsh

  38. 38

    […] In the comments over at Balloon Juice’s Florida Primary Open Thread I saw the word “pwned” again, for the umpteenth time, in this case, as in Jonah Goldberg got punked’…. […]

  39. 39
    LITBMueller says:

    McCrazy will do the best among the most reliable Florida voting bloc – old people from Long Island – and will get a solid win. It was this group that was supporting Rudy because of their New York allegiances, but they’ve switched to their fellow senior citizen in a show of solidarity due to his win in New Hampshire.

    In Florida, it all comes down to the old folks…

  40. 40
    The Moar You Know says:

    Who will it be? McCain or Mittens?

    Ohhhh! I know this! It’s whichever one is worse, right?

    Hey, I’m beginning to get this Republican thing down!

  41. 41

    Which one is the easiest Democratic target? That one.

  42. 42
    Splitting Image says:

    McCain will be declared the winner and Romney will concede.

    Then Romney will rescind his concession pending recounts in Miami-Dade and Palm Beach, which McCain will block.

    The whole thing will be thrown to the Supreme Court and not be decided until after McCain’s momentum leads him to an impressive win on Super Tuesday, making the whole thing moot.

    Everybody will get so caught up in determining who “won” that nobody will think too closely about who lost, the answer to that being “everybody”.

  43. 43
    Psycheout says:

    The early exit polling is showing that the economy is the most important issue. And those who think the economy is the most important are voting McCain (Mittheads were so Mittens was the economics guy since he won MI by being a pander bear).

    It’s rather funny to watch the RomBots melt down.

    I can’t believe this! I hope Florida is hit with such terrible hurricanes this year that the population is decimated. God save us all from the idiots.

    LOL!

  44. 44
    D-Chance. says:

    McCain wins, Rudy drops out and endorses McCain…
    Hewitt and Limbaugh both freak out tomorrow.
    K-Lo cries in her Haagen-Dazs…

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