Come for the politics, stay for the snark.

Just a few bad apples.

Call the National Guard if your insurrection lasts more than four hours.

You can’t attract Republican voters. You can only out organize them.

My years-long effort to drive family and friends away has really paid off this year.

Republican obstruction dressed up as bipartisanship. Again.

The revolution will be supervised.

Something seems odd about that, but i have been drinking.

This is all too absurd to be reality, right?

Balloon Juice has never been a refuge for the linguistically delicate.

All your base are belong to Tunch.

A snarling mass of vitriolic jackals

I don’t care how fun he is after a few whiskies. fuck that guy.

You are either for trump or for democracy. Pick one.

Militantly superior in their own minds…

‘Forty-two’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.

Verified, but limited!

If senate republicans had any shame, they’d die of it.

I’d like to think you all would remain faithful to me if i ever tried to have some of you killed.

Women: they get shit done

A last alliance of elves and men. also pet photos.

Historically it was a little unusual for the president to be an incoherent babbling moron.

Perhaps you mistook them for somebody who gives a damn – Nancy Pelosi

Technically true, but collectively nonsense

Is it irresponsible to speculate? It is irresponsible not to.

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Reader Interactions

57Comments

  1. 1.

    jcricket

    How come no comments about the EPA/Bush vs. the Blue states (CA, WA, etc.)? Basically all the staff in the EPA says “we have to give CA, et.al. the waiver. Bush appointed head of EPA says, “STFU”

  3. 3.

    MikeL

    This being a special day, I’d like to thank John, Tim and Michael for providing us this site. It’s one of the better ones in terms of both quality and honesty. The Web award was earned.

    And to everyone – Have a Groovy Solstice!

  4. 4.

    Dreggas

    MikeL Says:

    This being a special day, I’d like to thank John, Tim and Michael for providing us this site. It’s one of the better ones in terms of both quality and honesty. The Web award was earned.

    And to everyone – Have a Groovy Solstice!

    That’s MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS you ignorant Heathen scum! Didn’t we burn enough of you solstice types to get it through to ya?

    [ /end wingnut ]

  6. 6.

    chatterbox

    Merry Christmas all. I’ve been reading this site for some time now but I’ve stayed out of the fray due to a New Years resolution to be less political (it’ll drive you crazy…).

  7. 7.

    Cain

    That’s MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS you ignorant Heathen scum! Didn’t we burn enough of you solstice types to get it through to ya?

    I just want to say, Happy Eid Mubarak to all of you!

    cain

  8. 8.

    chopper

    god, i was just flipping through channels and landed on CNN just in time for some execrable special on ‘the war on xmas’.

    the best is, one of the dudes interviewed was d’souza, who said something idiotic about how “besides, christianity is what brought compassion and respect for life into the world.”

    i guess the jews were just a bunch of assholes. they didn’t even know what kindness was until one of em came up with the idea like 2000 years in. yeesh. reeks of coulter’s ‘perfected jews’ remark.

  11. 11.

    JWW

    Merry Chistmas all,

    Maybe a massive IED in Iraq or Afghanistan would cause you all too rejoice. What a Holiday Season, at home, warm and around those you love.

    My calander must be wrong, I thought the news update stated our major concern in the USA was a pregnant 16 year old.

    Sleep well!

  12. 12.

    RSA

    Does anyone have a favorite free PDF-to-text (or RTF or Word) converter? WIndows, Mac, or Unix are all fine.

  13. 13.

    Dreggas

    Chopper

    i guess the jews were just a bunch of assholes. they didn’t even know what kindness was until one of em came up with the idea like 2000 years in. yeesh. reeks of coulter’s ‘perfected jews’ remark.

    well they did give us circumcision, not necessarily kind that bit…

  15. 15.

    RSA

    I have a blind student taking one of my classes next semester; he’s more comfortable using RTF, Word, or raw text than whatever accessibility tools Adobe had built into their PDF reader. Most of my lecture material is in PDF format, produced from LaTeX using the beamer style. Unfortunately latex2rtf breaks for some reason that I can’t track down, so I’m stumped on how to built the RTF files directly. It’s mostly text (it’s a programming course). I’ll take a look at ghostscript (though I’ve only used it in the past for displaying PostScript files); thanks for the suggestion. I have mail into our tech support folks, but I thought someone here might have a better handle on accessibility software than I do.

  16. 16.

    Darkness

    RSA Says:

    Does anyone have a favorite free PDF-to-text (or RTF or Word) converter? WIndows, Mac, or Unix are all fine.

    You are, of course, stretching the bounds of “open thread” on a drunk Solstice Holiday Friday, I think.

    But hell, I’ve used this with some luck:

    http://sourceforge.net/projects/pdftohtml

  17. 17.

    Jake

    Hey, tomorrow is Global Orgasm Day. Don’t forget to celebrate.

    Heh. Someone tell the fRighties to cancel their date with Rosie Palm. If they accidentally participate in an activity related to world peace they’ll never forgive themselves.

  18. 18.

    RSA

    You are, of course, stretching the bounds of “open thread” on a drunk Solstice Holiday Friday, I think.

    Hey, I just got out of a long (and late in the year) Ph.D. defense this afternoon; computer science geeks unwind differently from normal people, I guess. Thanks for the suggestion.

  19. 19.

    myiq2xu

    Somebody should be watching G-Dub and his homies really carefully this weekend. With Congress on Xmas vacation and everybody busy shopping and spending, this is the perfect time for them to try some of their patented snaky shit.

  21. 21.

    Darkness

    Ah, you have LaTeX to start with. LaTeX to anything readable ought to be a no-brainer. And getting to HTML should be easy directly too, if acceptable, rather than via pdf, which is like reaching around your cat to pet your dog… or something.

  22. 22.

    Royston Vasey

    Hey, I went to Universal Studios Hollywood today for the first time in almost 20 years.

    The Mummy’s Revenge ride was waay cool!

  23. 23.

    myiq2xu

    Happy Festivus!!

    That’s not until Sunday. BTW – I made a donation to the Human Fund in John, Tim and Michael’s names.

    Figuratively, of course.

  25. 25.

    RSA

    Ah, you have LaTeX to start with. LaTeX to anything readable ought to be a no-brainer.

    Well, in principle, but I’m mainly a cut-and-paste LaTeX user, and the obvious tools I tried didn’t work. But pdftohtml worked surprisingly well. Thanks.

  26. 26.

    myiq2xu

    I’m mainly a cut-and-paste LaTeX user,

    I would be afraid of leaks if I tried that, which defeats the purpose of wearing condoms.

  27. 27.

    RSA

    I’d forgotten about that; back in the early days of search engines, looking for LaTeX packages used to generate a lot of porn hits.

  28. 28.

    Bob In Pacifica

    Just watched “Superbad” for the second time in two days, this time with my girlfriend and her two daughters. It reminded me of when I was a sophomore and I’d get these spontaneous erections in my geometry class, lo those many years ago.

    Wonderful film. Five stars.

  29. 29.

    TenguPhule

    Merry Chistmas all,

    Maybe a massive IED in Iraq or Afghanistan would cause you all too rejoice. What a Holiday Season, at home, warm and around those you love.

    Happy Hogswatch, Asshole Spooferific!

    Keep an eye out for those flying pigs!

  30. 30.

    Darkness

    RSA Says:

    I’d forgotten about that; back in the early days of search engines, looking for LaTeX packages used to generate a lot of porn hits.

    Back in the early days . . . there were no search engines. We had to walk ten miles in the snow with bare feet to find a gopher server with some porn on it.

    A “cut and paste LaTeX user”. I would not have imagined such a thing was possible. Things have changed since I had to use LaTeX on an Apollo workstation, clearly. It sure did print up a pretty document that put that pussy program Word to shame. Someone with the middle name Kern must have worked on the original code. (sorry, bad font humor, it’s late). Glad it worked, though. Funny, I had to find that program for writing a search engine index. Gods, full circle! argh!!

  31. 31.

    myiq2xu

    Hey, tomorrow is Global Orgasm Day. Don’t forget to celebrate.

    Donating is the best way of celebrating.

  33. 33.

    myiq2xu

    Back in the early days . . . there were no search engines. We had to walk ten miles in the snow with bare feet to find a gopher server with some porn on it.

    I started out using unix commands and Veronica was the newest and bestest search engine.

  35. 35.

    JWW

    No Tengu,

    I would prefer not seeing your ole lady flying, thnx anyway.

    Spoof is that the soft hand towel you wipe your ass with, tell me does your washing machine ever rid itself of that smell.

  36. 36.

    myiq2xu

    There was a ‘undred and fifty of us livin’ in a shoebox in the middle of t’road.

    At least you lucky duckys had a shoebox.

  37. 37.

    myiq2xu

    Spoof is that the soft hand towel you wipe your ass with, tell me does your washing machine ever rid itself of that smell.

    You wash your asswipe? Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!

  40. 40.

    Royston Vasey

    Well, of course, we had it tough.
    We used to ‘ave to get up out of shoebox at twelve o’clock at night and lick road clean wit’ tongue.
    We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit’ bread knife.

  41. 41.

    Royston Vasey

    Asteroid!
    Scientists are hoping to gain an unexpected glimpse beneath the surface of Mars after the odds of a huge asteroid hitting the planet next month shortened dramatically.

    NASA scientists have reduced the chance of an impact between the asteroid known as 2007 WD5 and the Red Planet to 75 to one.

    A direct hit would carve a hole the size of Asteroid Crater, AZ and throw up a plume of debris that astronomers could analyse for clues about material below the surface.

  42. 42.

    Michael D.

    This being a special day, I’d like to thank John, Tim and Michael for providing us this site. It’s one of the better ones in terms of both quality and honesty.

    I’m not sure I’ve gotten to the point where I deserve that thanks yet. I need to get used to being scrutinized. But thanks!

  43. 43.

    TenguPhule

    You wash your asswipe? Eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!

    Picture the Future of the Human Race, a Doughy Pantload sitting on their face…Forever.

    -Gleefully stolen from Instaputz

  44. 44.

    myiq2xu

    Picture the Future of the Human Race, a Doughy Pantload sitting on their face…Forever.

    I just threw up.

  45. 45.

    VidaLoca

    I’m not sure I’ve gotten to the point where I deserve that thanks yet. I need to get used to being scrutinized crucified. But thanks!

    No problem! :)

  47. 47.

    The Other Steve

    Did anybody notice this week Bush acknowledged Global Climate Change was real?

    In comments made during signing of energy bill.

    Today we make a major step with the Energy Independence and Security Act. We make a major step toward reducing our dependence on oil, confronting global climate change, expanding the production of renewable fuels and giving future generations of our country a nation that is stronger, cleaner and more secure. (Applause.)

    One of the most serious long-term challenges facing our country is dependence on oil — especially oil from foreign lands. It’s a serious challenge. And members of Congress up here understand the challenge and so do I. Because this dependence harms us economically through high and volatile prices at the gas pump; dependence creates pollution and contributes to greenhouse gas admissions [sic]. It threatens our national security by making us vulnerable to hostile regimes in unstable regions of the world. It makes us vulnerable to terrorists who might attack oil infrastructure.

    Just for fun, the next time you see a denier, point out their blessed saint Bush believes. :-)

  48. 48.

    The Other Steve

    Our lady of perpetual outrage stalks and swiftboats another another poor oppressed black woman.

    The “Shut up, white boy!” woman is the “slum” dweller with a 60-inch TV

    I just sold a 51-inch rear projection TV for $350 on craigslist, and felt lucky to get that. If you check ebay and craigslist they’re all over the place, sometimes at pretty low prices.

    Rear Projection TV’s are now the hand-me-down of the wealthy as we purchase LCD flat screens.

    Looks like Our Lady of Perpetual Outrage once again is attacking something she does not understand.

  49. 49.

    John Cole

    I think I paid 1200 for mine, brand new, four years ago.

    I like the rear projection ones, though. Until very recently, I felt they had a better picture. At least I felt the blacks and dark colors were better. Nowadays, I am not sure, but I probably won’t replace the one I have for another 10 years unless it breaks. That is just how I am with big purchases.

  50. 50.

    John S.

    The “Shut up, white boy!” woman is the “slum” dweller with a 60-inch TV

    Was she a star witness for Nifong in the Duke larosse case? Because that would really be news.

  51. 51.

    Dreggas

    RSA Says:

    You are, of course, stretching the bounds of “open thread” on a drunk Solstice Holiday Friday, I think.

    Hey, I just got out of a long (and late in the year) Ph.D. defense this afternoon; computer science geeks unwind differently from normal people, I guess. Thanks for the suggestion.

    I dunno what languages you teach in but you may also want to snag a copy of iText or iTextSharp (C# port of iText). It works wonders for pdf manipulation.

  52. 52.

    LiberalTarian

    myiq2xu Says:

    Hey, tomorrow is Global Orgasm Day. Don’t forget to celebrate.

    Donating is the best way of celebrating.

    Do they have to be new or can they be genlty used?? ;)

  54. 54.

    RSA

    I dunno what languages you teach in but you may also want to snag a copy of iText or iTextSharp (C# port of iText). It works wonders for pdf manipulation.

    Thanks, I’ll take a look, though I’m a dinosaur; the only language I program well in is Common Lisp.

  56. 56.

    demimondian

    the only language I program well in is Common Lisp.

    How have you managed to avoid teaching Intro programming/data structures/etc.?

    I’m about to have to add Java to my list of languages. The thought makes me feel dirty.

  57. 57.

    RSA

    We have a pretty large faculty (around forty tenure/tenure track) and a number of very good instructors. I did teach a service course for several years, but it was an introduction to computers for non-majors; the majority opinion, according to RateMyProfessor.com, was “So boring”. :-) Otherwise I’ve been lucky enough to stick mainly to upper-level undergrad and grad courses in my research areas, artificial intelligence and human-computer interaction.

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